The Cosmic Color

by T.T. Madden

CAN ANYONE ESCAPE THE MACHINERIES OF FLESH AND STEEL?



Eric Fisher, a Black recruit finishing up his training, has always felt strange in his own skin. Now that he's finally a mecha pilot, ready to join the fight against the monstrous Imago, he gets to be in a body that feels more right. But this new sense of self and gender must be navigated while uncovering revelations about the machineries of flesh and steel he's now a part of.



Part of the Neon Hemlock Novellas Series.



PRAISE



"Simultaneously contemplative and thrilling, The Cosmic Color asks the question, what if you injected HRT straight into the veins of Neon Genesis Evangelion's dysphoric alien flesh? This is the book I'll give to people when I want them to understand that the mecha-genre is inherently transgender. A powerful examination of questions of race, gender, militarism, and who gets to use your body, image, and soul when you're strapped into a giant robot."

-Ann LeBlanc, author of The Transitive Properties of Cheese



"A vivid and insightful look at war and gender harkening back to mecha shows from my childhood. Truly beautiful, and I can't wait to read it again."

-Eboni Dunbar, author of Stone and Steel



"The Cosmic Color explores the heights of the human experience, and beyond, in a deeply evocative story that makes you want to get in the damn robot and find out who you are deep down inside. It's a brief but powerful Neon Genesis Evangelion for the post-modern era."

-Vaughn A. Jackson, author of Up from the Deep

Genres: Science Fiction, Queer, Adult

110 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 28, 2025

Reviews

[Aster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice mecha fiction that explores the inherent dysphoria of inhabiting another body but also the confused feelings that would trigger in a questioning character with a commentary on Black bodies and their treatment by the state

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trans Mech Pilots, hell yeah!! (how can they not be!!)

Urg, this is such a ME! book! I just can't stop thinking about it and already want to reread again.
My genderqueer Pacific Rim loving heart couldn't not be happier.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Interesting worldbuilding and characters. Loved how the trans themes / body dysphoria was handled through mecha.

[I. Merey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short, powerful punch of a book with Evangalion vibes, but also uniquely its own. Hundreds of years into the future, giant monsters called Imago (which are 'corrupted' people), threaten human communities, and esteemed pilots of giant mecha are necessary to fight them. Eric Fisher is a Black cadet who pilots Solanum, a mecha he's inherited from a female pilot forced into retirement after a devastating accident. Though cadets are warned of the effects of dysphoria after they unsynch from their mechas, Eric feels a different type as the 'female' body of his mecha gets overlaid his own--and finds his mind starting to fill in that female body in other instances, as well. Examined also is the 'value' of his body to the state--and the way he is treated and viewed by the white people he saves and also works with. A thoughtful examination of the commodification of bodies and heroics, and how our self-interpretation and others' interpretation of our body influences everything we do...

[Samrat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible for anyone who loved NGE and thought it didn't spend enough time on identity, gender, and what it means to be human/monstrous.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short and really well written novella following the story of Eric Fisher, a Black mecha pilot, in a world far in the future, where the discovery of a new metal has advanced humanity's technological prowess, while simultanously leaving certain types of workers exposed to the negative side effects of said metal, which turns them into Imagos, who then need to be put down by giant Mechas. Beside the commentary of whose bodies are put most at risk to keep the Status-Quo intact (factory or mine workers, Black people), the story also examines the gender dysphoria of the main character, who feels much more connected to the mecha body than anyone else seems to.
I really enjoyed this and while I normally don't read too much sci-fi with a heavy militairy focus, this sci-fi dystopia examined the machineries of it quite well as they turn people into canon fodder, while selling a narrative of heroism to keep people compliant, I also really enjoyed the commentary of whose marginalized bodies are commodified, used and far-to-often broken in the persuit of progress. And finally I really adored the coming-out narrative of the mecha pilot as they realize why they feel such a connection with their mecha and such a disconnect with their body, which is often hypermasculinized through racist anti-black stereotypes. I also liked the body horror elements as well as the analysis of how media builds heroic images out of soldiers and uses diversity to make it look less like the propaganda it is.
All in all this is a bleak, but really intruiging novella that I really enjoyed and would recommend others check out as well!

TW: anti-black racism, fetishization, injury, murder, police brutality.

[Lydia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novella was very fun and insightful, with a really interesting premise and rich world building. I just wish there was more of it! This story would have really benefitted from being an entire novel instead of a novella. I want to understand who Eric was before they became a pilot. I want to know more about the politics and nuances of this world. I want to learn more about the cosmic amber and how it affects people. And most importantly, I want more payoff for the end! I enjoyed the ending, but it was abrupt. There should have been at least an epilogue to explain more about the emotional and physical impact of the ending.
The fact I wanted /more/ from this story is a great sign! The characters are genuinely interesting, the premise is so fun and captivating, and the queer/racial themes are really well handled. I saved so many quotes from this novella, and I could easily feel the emotions the writing was trying to provoke.

[mace · Rating 1 out of 5]

This novella didn't work for me in the slightest, unfortunately. One of the main things conveyed in the blurb of this book is that it's going to be about a main character questioning their gender, and while it is about that, Eric's process around this didn't feel realistic to me. They vaguely allude to the fact that they've felt gender dysphoria in the past, but aside from that, their entire questioning arc is centered around their body and the body of the robot they're piloting. The story barely engages with the more societal and mental feelings that tend to come with gender dysphoria, which made Eric's change from he to they pronouns feel really unrealistic, as they never seem to consider anything related to that switch other than their wish for a different body. They also start out the story by thinking things like "lavender is such a feminine color" and none of this is ever addressed or unpacked on the page, which is just so frustrating. It's gonna be a 1-star rating from me.

[K.C. Norton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really cool take on dysphoria!

If you haven’t seen Pacific Rim or Gundam Wing or anything with human-powered mech tech, you will be very confused. 😂 That’s my biggest complaint here: I have questions about the world and backstory here. However, reading this at the same time that I’m working on Heavenly Tyrant (the seconds in the Iron Widow series) I still very much understood what Madden was going for, and I really liked the idea. The concept of the world felt a bit general, but the characters and tensions were specific and fleshed out. Dissociation + body dysmorphia mixed with gender dysphoria in a way I haven’t seen done before. I recommend this if you know anything about the subgenre!

[Venneh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great novella that leans into the crossover and enmeshment that happens between pilots and mechs, a bit of body horror and dysphoria as that enmeshment seems to become literal, and the wonder of what, if anything, you're actually worth to those throwing you out on the front lines. Highly recommended.

[Marley · Rating 3 out of 5]

“This whole thing smacks of gender” I yell, my mecha body overturning the military industrial complex as I turn the Fourth of July into the fourth of shit.

(3.5, the writing is… fine, ultra heavy on exposition and telling, not showing, until it got its legs under it. Some clear editorial errors in the ebook version that jarred me a bit.)

[WBTM BOOKSHELF]

Author interview @ Strange Speculations: https://apthayer.substack.com/p/autho...

[Astrid · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*