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Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem: Bible Study Effective
This powerful study will teach couples how to help one another see themselves through the eyes of God. Here are 13 fun, interactive sessions that will help husbands and wives know the power of unconditional love and fulfillment.
275 pages, Paperback
First published December 12, 1981
16 people are currently reading
232 people want to read
About the author
Dennis Rainey
193 books36 followersDennis Rainey is president and CEO of FamilyLife, a division of Cru. Dennis and his wife, Barbara, have spoken at Weekend to Remember conferences around the world. Dennis serves as the daily host of the radio program "FamilyLife Today". He and Barbara have authored more than two dozen books, including the bestselling "Moments Together for Intimacy" and" Moments Together for Couples". The Raineys have six children and nineteen grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 22, 2019
Excellent material! Book is dated; information is applicable today. While written to married couples, I can see the benefits of this book in a pre-marital context. Very glad I read this!
March 6, 2008
Excellent book, would be better if couples read this book together and did the exercises at the end of each chapter. I read this a long time ago, and it needed revisiting. Interesting how this book parallels concepts from a) the Bible b) Love and Respect c) Wild at Heart. Lots of personal stories in here that help to illustrate basic concepts.
August 26, 2013
This book had a lot of great information on how to edify and encourage my spouse. I really enjoyed the sound, biblical principles illustrated and the flow of the book. I was able to learn a lot about myself and why my well-intentioned behaviors wasn't necessarily giving my husband the confidence he needed to lead our family. All in all, a good read although I found the exercises difficult to do since my husband and I weren't reading this together.
February 12, 2015
My husband and I read this when we were engaged because we saw how couples around us were not purposefully encouraging one another or building on another's self esteem and we didn't want that to become us. So, do I recommend this? YES
If you are struggling with being a "dripping faucet" or struggling to find things in your marriage to commend your spouse on, you should read this book.
If you are struggling with being a "dripping faucet" or struggling to find things in your marriage to commend your spouse on, you should read this book.
June 12, 2015
My brother-in-law, Johnny, always told me you gauge the value of a man by the smile on his wife's face. I bought this book with that in mind. The Rainey's seem like a great couple. They're not necessarily my people. But they have some great insight into marriage. Worthwhile.
January 24, 2014
Wow! This is a must read for anyone in a relationship!
November 17, 2020
This is a marriage self-help book written specifically so that Christian couples can aid each other in building their sense of self-worth. It includes practical application questions and exercises and sections to help both men and women understand what each other needs.
I read Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs earlier this year and thought that this book was actually a lot better and more helpful than that one was. This book is written by both husband and wife instead of just by the husband and is more practical and less "sales-pitchy". It's more supportive of marriage therapy and lists signs to look for that could indicate when to seek help, and it's a lot more flexible on gender roles (though it still makes some broad gender assumptions). I found it much easier to engage with and more helpful. It's an easy and gentle read and doesn't shame the reader or make them feel like their marriage problems are all their fault.
That being said, it still does not address abusive relationships or how to know if you're in one. I don't think, given it's topic, that it does as much harm in that regard as Love and Respect, but it still would be good to include. It's also dated (it was published in the 90s), so the terminology and research needs an update. It also includes your stereotypical evangelical Protestant theology (which is especially heavy in the chapter on destiny and the Appendix), so that's good to know going in if that isn't your thing.
Overall, I liked it. I think it would be especially helpful for new or young couples, and I'd love to see a more updated version. Still, it includes really good advice on how to help give your spouse the emotional support they need in this often trying world. Definitely an important skill for every married couple to learn!
I read Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs earlier this year and thought that this book was actually a lot better and more helpful than that one was. This book is written by both husband and wife instead of just by the husband and is more practical and less "sales-pitchy". It's more supportive of marriage therapy and lists signs to look for that could indicate when to seek help, and it's a lot more flexible on gender roles (though it still makes some broad gender assumptions). I found it much easier to engage with and more helpful. It's an easy and gentle read and doesn't shame the reader or make them feel like their marriage problems are all their fault.
That being said, it still does not address abusive relationships or how to know if you're in one. I don't think, given it's topic, that it does as much harm in that regard as Love and Respect, but it still would be good to include. It's also dated (it was published in the 90s), so the terminology and research needs an update. It also includes your stereotypical evangelical Protestant theology (which is especially heavy in the chapter on destiny and the Appendix), so that's good to know going in if that isn't your thing.
Overall, I liked it. I think it would be especially helpful for new or young couples, and I'd love to see a more updated version. Still, it includes really good advice on how to help give your spouse the emotional support they need in this often trying world. Definitely an important skill for every married couple to learn!
July 8, 2022
We have had this book on on shelves for many years. I think it first came into the house when my husband’s small group was reading it. I know we talked about some of the topics at the time but I had not read it until recently.
Maybe, it’s our stage of life or the amount of books I have read in this genre over the last year or so but I really didn’t glean much new information from it’s pages.
That being said, the lessons are a good place to start for a newly married or younger couple.
Maybe, it’s our stage of life or the amount of books I have read in this genre over the last year or so but I really didn’t glean much new information from it’s pages.
That being said, the lessons are a good place to start for a newly married or younger couple.
February 17, 2023
This book is an eye opener for couples and should be studied together as a couple for maximum benefit.
October 12, 2013
Building Your Mate’s Self Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey is for both husbands and wives and provides some practical suggestions based on scripture for building self-esteem in your mate with familiar quotes tossed in. At the end of each chapter is a suggested thought provoking activity to do that helps you put into practice the principles given in the chapter.
There is a lot more “meat” in this book than I thought there would be and several things really stood out to me such as (1) accepting our mates unconditionally as God’s gift to us; (2) be generous with heartfelt praise; (3) encourage mate to develop close friendship with same gender and find another couple you and your spouse can become friends with; (4) seek to do specific things that please your mate; (5) encourage mate’s positive talk about himself and encourage him to avoid even thinking negative thoughts.
This book served as a good reminder to me on how to be good wife. It’s easy to let day-to-day responsibilities take over in a marriage to the extent romance and fun is neglected. Married couples should still act as though they are competing for their mate or familiarity can lead to boredom that can cause a marriage to fall apart should one of the couple choose to search elsewhere for something better. I recommend this book to any couple!
(Karen's review)
There is a lot more “meat” in this book than I thought there would be and several things really stood out to me such as (1) accepting our mates unconditionally as God’s gift to us; (2) be generous with heartfelt praise; (3) encourage mate to develop close friendship with same gender and find another couple you and your spouse can become friends with; (4) seek to do specific things that please your mate; (5) encourage mate’s positive talk about himself and encourage him to avoid even thinking negative thoughts.
This book served as a good reminder to me on how to be good wife. It’s easy to let day-to-day responsibilities take over in a marriage to the extent romance and fun is neglected. Married couples should still act as though they are competing for their mate or familiarity can lead to boredom that can cause a marriage to fall apart should one of the couple choose to search elsewhere for something better. I recommend this book to any couple!
(Karen's review)
August 17, 2011
Seriously, thought I finished this about a million years ago...
regardless, finished the last two chapters over the course of the past few days.
I found a lot of great tips in the book on supporting my husband in our marriage. Some of there were CLEAR areas I needed to work on, others, I can see I've made progress in. Each chapter has a brief summary and options to journal and respond to what you learned in that part of the book.
Written from both the husband and wife's perspectives on how spouses can support each other. A good read and I do recommend it!
regardless, finished the last two chapters over the course of the past few days.
I found a lot of great tips in the book on supporting my husband in our marriage. Some of there were CLEAR areas I needed to work on, others, I can see I've made progress in. Each chapter has a brief summary and options to journal and respond to what you learned in that part of the book.
Written from both the husband and wife's perspectives on how spouses can support each other. A good read and I do recommend it!
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June 2, 2010I'm divorced, but have found that the men I've dated since then have been very jealous. People have told me they don't feel secure with me, therefore; I'm reading this book to see what I can do to help. Not only is it giving me ideas, but is also helping me understand myself in the process! Highly recommend!
June 30, 2011
Some of the ideas were really good, but overall it was a total turn-off on how gender limiting the book was. It was very conservative. The basic gist is to be kind to your spouse and build your marriage with positive energy.
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April 17, 2009Building your mate's self-esteem by Dennis Rainey (?)
July 28, 2011
Awesome book! It can also be used for parenting as well. Some amazing stories in this book.
March 6, 2015
Men's Study with Gregg Knoll, Bill Ernest, Burt Ambler, & Pat Nash
Good times, great men.
Good times, great men.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews