What do you think?
Rate this book
Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging
Between Worlds will resonate with those who have lived outside of their passport country, as well as those who have not. These essays explore the rootlessness and grief as well as the unexpected moments of humor and joy that are a part of living between two worlds. Between Worlds charts a journey between the cultures of East and West, the comfort of being surrounded by loved ones and familiar places, and the loneliness of not belonging. "Every one of us has been at some point between two worlds, be they faith and loss of faith, joy and sorrow, birth and death. Between Worlds is a luminous guide for connecting---and healing---worlds." - Cathy Romeo, co-author, Ended Beginnings: Healing Childbearing Losses
240 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2014
41 people are currently reading
816 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
July 12, 2015
In this book, author Marilyn R. Gardner presents a compelling collection of essays. Conversational in tone and rich in descriptive insights, Marilyn’s short works unfold an intimate look at moments in her life. Each memory is lovingly crafted onto the page and contextualized within the global perspective she has now, as an adult.
Marilyn’s story is special, though perhaps not entirely unique in the community of expats and Third Culture Kids. She was born in Massachusetts while her parents were visiting their hometown. Within 3 months her family embarked on their journey back across the sea to Karachi, Pakistan, where she would grow up. Later, she raised her own family in Pakistan and Egypt. Now, she has come full circle; she and her husband are based in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
In her writing, Marilyn creates vivid pictures of her years living in Pakistan and Egypt, conveying nostalgia for a time and place that can never be repeated. Yet, she has also found community and a sense of home in the bustling cities along the East Coast of America. Her heart is torn between two very different lives, but grounded in her love of her family and friends.
“Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. That is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story,” Marilyn writes.
I recommend this book wholeheartedly to anyone who loves memoir, as this is a truly beautiful example. I also recommend this book to readers interested in gaining a global perspective on life in the Middle East, cultural competency, or expat life. You can learn more about Marilyn and her writing by visiting her blog at www.communicatingacrossboundariesblog...
Marilyn’s story is special, though perhaps not entirely unique in the community of expats and Third Culture Kids. She was born in Massachusetts while her parents were visiting their hometown. Within 3 months her family embarked on their journey back across the sea to Karachi, Pakistan, where she would grow up. Later, she raised her own family in Pakistan and Egypt. Now, she has come full circle; she and her husband are based in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
In her writing, Marilyn creates vivid pictures of her years living in Pakistan and Egypt, conveying nostalgia for a time and place that can never be repeated. Yet, she has also found community and a sense of home in the bustling cities along the East Coast of America. Her heart is torn between two very different lives, but grounded in her love of her family and friends.
“Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. That is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story,” Marilyn writes.
I recommend this book wholeheartedly to anyone who loves memoir, as this is a truly beautiful example. I also recommend this book to readers interested in gaining a global perspective on life in the Middle East, cultural competency, or expat life. You can learn more about Marilyn and her writing by visiting her blog at www.communicatingacrossboundariesblog...
November 19, 2024
the book had me crying. a lot. as a tck, it made me feel the most seen i have ever felt. i read this a few years ago, during a time when i felt misunderstood by my extended family and some friends. it reminded me that i am not alone in my experiences. there are others who understand. it gave me hope and patience to wait for friends who understood. it gave me hope that God had a purpose for my outcast feelings. someday, i will know why i felt like this. and i’m not there yet. but soon. i now have those friends i was waiting for. so thankful for you guys :)
if you or someone you know have lived in a foreign country long enough for it to feel like home, do yourself a favor and read this book. don’t forget the tissues tho ;)
if you or someone you know have lived in a foreign country long enough for it to feel like home, do yourself a favor and read this book. don’t forget the tissues tho ;)
May 8, 2018
Se você acha que a pergunta mais difícil de se responder nesse universo é "de onde você é?", então esse livro é pra você! Mas tbm deveria ser leitura obrigatória para pais que pensam em levar seus filhos para viver em outra cultura; para filhos que se sentem em casa em todo e em nenhum lugar; para organizações que pretendem enviar seus "funcionários" para viver transculturalmente e para as pessoas de coração sensível que querem entender aquele vizinho ou amigo que parece ser daqui mas que na verdade é de lá... muuuito bom! A autora coloca em palavras tudo aquilo que eu sinto e sou.. e sei que não estou sozinha... 😍 pena que ainda não tem em português..
September 14, 2017
One of my favorite quotes from Eugene H. Peterson (a writer whose work I devour) comes from the foreword to a book he didn’t write, called Sidewalks in the Kingdom. “I find that cultivating a sense of place as the exclusive and irreplaceable setting for following Jesus is even more difficult than persuading men and women of the truth of the message of Jesus,” Peterson, a longtime pastor, writes. “God’s great love and purposes for us are worked out in the messes in our kitchens and backyards, in storms and sins, blue skies, daily work, working with us as we are and not as we should be, and where we are… and not where we would like to be.”
I’ve resonated with those words ever since reading them a decade ago. At the time, I was living and working in downtown Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a city I had come to love. I was that guy who walked everywhere he could, including work – noticing cracks in the sidewalks, graffiti on the backs of street signs, potted plants on stoops. I was the guy who hung out in locally-owned coffee shops and stopped by the farmer’s market on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I was that guy with the “I Heart City Life” bumper sticker on the back of his car. I belonged.
But I was simultaneously also an outsider, similar in certain ways with the refugees I served in my job as a caseworker. While one of my friends from Lancaster can trace his family’s roots in the area back 13 generations, my family had only settled there in 1998. We were transplants, newbies. And although we could speak the language and look the part, we hadn’t come from a neighboring county or somewhere like New Jersey. We had come from Guatemala, a land so utterly mysterious that stories from our life there tended to draw blank stares.
When I eventually got married and moved across the country to Arizona, I sensed in some of my Pennsylvania friends an attitude of inevitability, the idea that Lancaster was more or less just a layover for me (albeit a 13-year one), between Guatemala and wherever I was off to next. Perhaps in some ways, they were right – more so than this nomad realized at the time.
Needless to say, the idea of place is a complicated one for people like me. And by people like me, I mean third culture kids – those of us who have spent formative years in a culture other than that of their parents. It’s for that reason that I feel an immediate connection to others who have grown up between cultures, even if I know virtually nothing about the specific context of their upbringing and they know little of mine. That’s also why I so appreciate reading the stories of other TCKs, like the ones Marilyn Gardner shares in her book, Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging.
“Third culture kids have stories. Their stories are detailed and vibrant. Stories of travel between worlds, of cross-cultural relationships and connections, of grief and of loss, of goodbyes and hellos and more goodbyes,” Gardner writes. “Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. This is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story.”
Gardner herself grew up in Pakistan, spending formative years living far from her parents at a boarding school. As an adult, she finds herself feeling nostalgic about the taste and smell of chai tea, shopping for a shalwar kameez at the bazaar, and waking up before dawn to the sound of the call to prayer – just as I experience nostalgia for the taste of tortillas and tamalitos made over an open fire, the intoxicating/nauseating smell of dust and diesel (looking at you, Bruce Cockburn!), and family visits to Lago de Atitlán, the most beautiful lake in the world.
Gardner captures the importance of sharing these memories with anyone who will listen:
The more I hear from immigrants, refugees and third culture kids, the more I am convinced that communicating our stories is a critical part of adjusting to life in our passport countries. We have a lifetime of experiences that when boxed up for fear of misunderstanding, will result in depression and deep pain. As we tell our stories we realize that these transitions and moves are all a part of a bigger narrative, a narrative that is strong and solid and gives meaning to our lives. As we learn to tell our stories we understand not only the complexity of our experience, but the complexity of the human experience, the human heart. So we learn to tell our stories – because your story, my story, and our stories matter.
Between Worlds may not be a book for everyone. It will certainly resonate most deeply with my fellow TCKs. Then again, we all live in an increasingly mobile, uprooted age. Few of us will spend our entire lives in one place. Whether it’s for school, or a job, or a relationship, most of us will move, and moving from one place to another means learning to live between worlds.
None of this, it should be said, diminishes the importance and value of place. The places we live matter – all of them, even if we carry many places with us in our hearts. With Peterson, I can wholeheartedly affirm that the place where we are, right now, is the “exclusive and irreplaceable setting” for becoming the kind of people we were made to be.
Being able to trace your family line 13 generations back in the place you were born and raised is a beautiful thing, and it’s natural to envy a story like that. But that’s not my story; it’s probably not your story either. That’s why, rather than seeing my life as a story marked by deprivation – deprived of one place and one people to which I unambiguously belong – I’ve chosen to see my life as one enriched by a kaleidoscope of people and places, each one beautiful, each one irreplaceable in its uniqueness.
I’ve resonated with those words ever since reading them a decade ago. At the time, I was living and working in downtown Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a city I had come to love. I was that guy who walked everywhere he could, including work – noticing cracks in the sidewalks, graffiti on the backs of street signs, potted plants on stoops. I was the guy who hung out in locally-owned coffee shops and stopped by the farmer’s market on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I was that guy with the “I Heart City Life” bumper sticker on the back of his car. I belonged.
But I was simultaneously also an outsider, similar in certain ways with the refugees I served in my job as a caseworker. While one of my friends from Lancaster can trace his family’s roots in the area back 13 generations, my family had only settled there in 1998. We were transplants, newbies. And although we could speak the language and look the part, we hadn’t come from a neighboring county or somewhere like New Jersey. We had come from Guatemala, a land so utterly mysterious that stories from our life there tended to draw blank stares.
When I eventually got married and moved across the country to Arizona, I sensed in some of my Pennsylvania friends an attitude of inevitability, the idea that Lancaster was more or less just a layover for me (albeit a 13-year one), between Guatemala and wherever I was off to next. Perhaps in some ways, they were right – more so than this nomad realized at the time.
Needless to say, the idea of place is a complicated one for people like me. And by people like me, I mean third culture kids – those of us who have spent formative years in a culture other than that of their parents. It’s for that reason that I feel an immediate connection to others who have grown up between cultures, even if I know virtually nothing about the specific context of their upbringing and they know little of mine. That’s also why I so appreciate reading the stories of other TCKs, like the ones Marilyn Gardner shares in her book, Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging.
“Third culture kids have stories. Their stories are detailed and vibrant. Stories of travel between worlds, of cross-cultural relationships and connections, of grief and of loss, of goodbyes and hellos and more goodbyes,” Gardner writes. “Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. This is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story.”
Gardner herself grew up in Pakistan, spending formative years living far from her parents at a boarding school. As an adult, she finds herself feeling nostalgic about the taste and smell of chai tea, shopping for a shalwar kameez at the bazaar, and waking up before dawn to the sound of the call to prayer – just as I experience nostalgia for the taste of tortillas and tamalitos made over an open fire, the intoxicating/nauseating smell of dust and diesel (looking at you, Bruce Cockburn!), and family visits to Lago de Atitlán, the most beautiful lake in the world.
Gardner captures the importance of sharing these memories with anyone who will listen:
The more I hear from immigrants, refugees and third culture kids, the more I am convinced that communicating our stories is a critical part of adjusting to life in our passport countries. We have a lifetime of experiences that when boxed up for fear of misunderstanding, will result in depression and deep pain. As we tell our stories we realize that these transitions and moves are all a part of a bigger narrative, a narrative that is strong and solid and gives meaning to our lives. As we learn to tell our stories we understand not only the complexity of our experience, but the complexity of the human experience, the human heart. So we learn to tell our stories – because your story, my story, and our stories matter.
Between Worlds may not be a book for everyone. It will certainly resonate most deeply with my fellow TCKs. Then again, we all live in an increasingly mobile, uprooted age. Few of us will spend our entire lives in one place. Whether it’s for school, or a job, or a relationship, most of us will move, and moving from one place to another means learning to live between worlds.
None of this, it should be said, diminishes the importance and value of place. The places we live matter – all of them, even if we carry many places with us in our hearts. With Peterson, I can wholeheartedly affirm that the place where we are, right now, is the “exclusive and irreplaceable setting” for becoming the kind of people we were made to be.
Being able to trace your family line 13 generations back in the place you were born and raised is a beautiful thing, and it’s natural to envy a story like that. But that’s not my story; it’s probably not your story either. That’s why, rather than seeing my life as a story marked by deprivation – deprived of one place and one people to which I unambiguously belong – I’ve chosen to see my life as one enriched by a kaleidoscope of people and places, each one beautiful, each one irreplaceable in its uniqueness.
January 13, 2020
I cried a lot, reading this book. It helped me heal and helped answer some of my questions about calling and identity and belonging. I felt so seen, so connected, in ways I don't often feel in the expat world, even though Marilyn and I are quite different. I wish I would have read it years earlier. I highly recommend this to any expat or to anyone who is heading overseas.
March 17, 2015
3.5 stars.
I didn't realize that this book was about being an adult Third Culture Kid, so I was expecting to read more about living overseas in general. I still enjoyed the stories and filed away some wisdom for raising kids abroad. I would imagine this book resonates clearly with its target audience.
The book wasn't edited well, which didn't bother me. It did bother me that it occasionally reads as if no one else experiences grief, awkwardness, or instability except TCKs. While they definitely experience more of these things than most people, I wonder how many read her words and think that others can't be empathetic or that they don't need to be empathetic themselves. I wish she had recommended that TCKs seek support from qualified professionals when they struggle rather than bearing those struggles as a badge of honor that sometimes cripples them.
Regardless, it's an enjoyable read with interesting perspectives on faith and travel and will probably be helpful for me in parenting a TCK in the future.
I didn't realize that this book was about being an adult Third Culture Kid, so I was expecting to read more about living overseas in general. I still enjoyed the stories and filed away some wisdom for raising kids abroad. I would imagine this book resonates clearly with its target audience.
The book wasn't edited well, which didn't bother me. It did bother me that it occasionally reads as if no one else experiences grief, awkwardness, or instability except TCKs. While they definitely experience more of these things than most people, I wonder how many read her words and think that others can't be empathetic or that they don't need to be empathetic themselves. I wish she had recommended that TCKs seek support from qualified professionals when they struggle rather than bearing those struggles as a badge of honor that sometimes cripples them.
Regardless, it's an enjoyable read with interesting perspectives on faith and travel and will probably be helpful for me in parenting a TCK in the future.
March 1, 2015
Great stuff from a TCK perspective. Engaging, reflective, realistic, poignant, insightful, and especially helpful & encouraging for one who has grown up "between worlds." I want all my kids to read this book. Great job, Marilyn!
September 12, 2015
An excellent read for all, but especially for those who have lived cross culturally or call more than one location on earth "home".
July 8, 2023
Quite honestly, I can hardly put into words my thoughts on this collection of essays. Suffice it to say, this book was exactly what my tired, grieving, longing soul needed to hear in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of my life--transitioning back to my passport country.
On nearly every page, my heart leaped as Marilyn put into words the very things I have felt time and time again, and yet could not verbalize. "How can she read my heart so clearly?" I asked myself. There were also tears. Tears of sadness as I related to the ache of leaving behind family and friends and a home you have come to love so dearly, and yet cannot stay in. But there were also cleansing tears as I felt seen and understood in a new way and realized that there are others like me.
"She gets it," I told myself as I closed the book. "She gets it because she too was once a third-culture kid."
If you are a TCK or simply want to understand TCKs better, I would highly, highly recommend this book. It perfectly balances the often difficult reality of being a TCK with the hope and belonging we have in Jesus.
If you are a TCK, you will walk away feeling understood in a way you haven't before. And if you aren't a TCK, you will walk away with a better perspective of what this life between worlds is really like and how to best help your TCK friends navigate their transitions and reentries.
On nearly every page, my heart leaped as Marilyn put into words the very things I have felt time and time again, and yet could not verbalize. "How can she read my heart so clearly?" I asked myself. There were also tears. Tears of sadness as I related to the ache of leaving behind family and friends and a home you have come to love so dearly, and yet cannot stay in. But there were also cleansing tears as I felt seen and understood in a new way and realized that there are others like me.
"She gets it," I told myself as I closed the book. "She gets it because she too was once a third-culture kid."
If you are a TCK or simply want to understand TCKs better, I would highly, highly recommend this book. It perfectly balances the often difficult reality of being a TCK with the hope and belonging we have in Jesus.
If you are a TCK, you will walk away feeling understood in a way you haven't before. And if you aren't a TCK, you will walk away with a better perspective of what this life between worlds is really like and how to best help your TCK friends navigate their transitions and reentries.
March 10, 2018
So relatable!
As someone who lived outside of her passport country, underwent reentry, and left again this time bringing children, this deeply resonated. I derived meaning not just for myself, but also my children (who insist they are from Egypt. They’ve been here since 14 months old, so I guess there’s some truth there). This looks at the expat/TCK experience through the lens of a TCK/missionary kid who also took her children abroad. I really enjoyed!
As someone who lived outside of her passport country, underwent reentry, and left again this time bringing children, this deeply resonated. I derived meaning not just for myself, but also my children (who insist they are from Egypt. They’ve been here since 14 months old, so I guess there’s some truth there). This looks at the expat/TCK experience through the lens of a TCK/missionary kid who also took her children abroad. I really enjoyed!
January 13, 2019
I can't say enough good things about this book! To anyone who moved a lot, lived overseas, has a loved one who's lived overseas, has returned from living someplace very different, or just an American kid of divorce bouncing between worlds, THIS IS YOUR BOOK.
It covers everything from preparing to leave to reentry struggles. The author's story telling style is ready to read.
WARNING: You may end up highlighting so many things that you decide to tag it again
It covers everything from preparing to leave to reentry struggles. The author's story telling style is ready to read.
WARNING: You may end up highlighting so many things that you decide to tag it again
May 7, 2019
I mainly started reading this to learn about my cross cultural kids that I'm bringing up; but as a Third Culture adult I found it useful and interesting too, and just plain enjoyable. I wish I could describe things like this author does. I'm usually not a tea drinker but I always find myself wanting some when I'm reading anything by Marilyn Gardner.
November 11, 2018
"For the one whose heart is set on pilgrimage, goodbyes add up... So when she comes to you, don’t ask her where she’s from, or what’s troubling her. Ask her where she’s lived. Ask her what she’s left behind. Open doors. And just listen."
July 31, 2017
Great book for Third Culture Kids to understand how to process their own experiences of being raised in a host country and outside their parent's culture.
February 8, 2020
Glad I picked this up on a giveaway table. Have scanned a few pages of great descriptions and empathy.
Easy to digest in little pieces.
Easy to digest in little pieces.
March 21, 2021
This book was incredible. The author does an excellent job of putting her experiences and feelings into words. Anyone who has experienced cross-cultural moves will be able to relate.
June 21, 2016
Many thanks to Marilyn R. Gardner for the lovely handwritten note that she put in the front of my Goodreads giveaway copy.
Gardner grew up in Pakistan as a child of American missionaries and raised her own kids in Pakistan and Egypt before moving to the U.S. (Massachusetts). Between Worlds is split into seven different sections (ranging from Grief & Loss to Identity to Airports), with the sections split into essays of two or three pages each that deal with different musings or memories. Gardner's writing is very thoughtful and funny - I particularly liked an essay called "Learning to Speak Coffee," in which she nails a description of the incompetency and paralysis you feel when approaching day-to-day activities in an unfamiliar culture. She also presents a wonderful mix of self-criticism and self-acceptance throughout the book. For example, she admits that sometimes her family had a tendency to "exude a 'We're other, we're better,' scent" when they moved to the U.S., but she recognizes that with time and comfort that façade always fell away.
I have to say, I was unprepared for this book's emphasis on Christian faith. The Christian God is such an integral part of Gardner's worldview, and her frequent use of Biblical quotes as self-help was, well, unhelpful for me (an atheist). It's always good to read books from different perspectives, so I'm glad that I didn't know about this aspect of Between Worlds before I entered the giveaway. If I had, I might not have requested a copy, and would've missed out on an enjoyable reading experience that can pertain to people of all faiths (or none, as the case may be). However, I think the summary on the back cover should mention something about faith or God so that others aren't so unprepared.
Overall, this book has a very home-grown feel to it, in both good ways and bad. Good, in the beautiful illustrations by Gardner's daughter that open each new section, and good in the familiar tone that Gardner uses. Plenty of books, even some of the best ones, feel like they're speaking at you, whereas Between Worlds always speaks to you. However, there are numerous issues with plurals vs. possessives throughout the book. "Its" instead of "it's," "parents" instead of "parents'," and many other small errors were distracting because they made me wonder how carefully the book was edited. Clearly content is more important than mechanics, but all the same, the typos gave a slightly unprofessional tinge to an otherwise well-written book. Still, I'd recommend this to anyone who wants to gain a better understanding of the loss and fulfillment involved in a life spent on the move.
Gardner grew up in Pakistan as a child of American missionaries and raised her own kids in Pakistan and Egypt before moving to the U.S. (Massachusetts). Between Worlds is split into seven different sections (ranging from Grief & Loss to Identity to Airports), with the sections split into essays of two or three pages each that deal with different musings or memories. Gardner's writing is very thoughtful and funny - I particularly liked an essay called "Learning to Speak Coffee," in which she nails a description of the incompetency and paralysis you feel when approaching day-to-day activities in an unfamiliar culture. She also presents a wonderful mix of self-criticism and self-acceptance throughout the book. For example, she admits that sometimes her family had a tendency to "exude a 'We're other, we're better,' scent" when they moved to the U.S., but she recognizes that with time and comfort that façade always fell away.
I have to say, I was unprepared for this book's emphasis on Christian faith. The Christian God is such an integral part of Gardner's worldview, and her frequent use of Biblical quotes as self-help was, well, unhelpful for me (an atheist). It's always good to read books from different perspectives, so I'm glad that I didn't know about this aspect of Between Worlds before I entered the giveaway. If I had, I might not have requested a copy, and would've missed out on an enjoyable reading experience that can pertain to people of all faiths (or none, as the case may be). However, I think the summary on the back cover should mention something about faith or God so that others aren't so unprepared.
Overall, this book has a very home-grown feel to it, in both good ways and bad. Good, in the beautiful illustrations by Gardner's daughter that open each new section, and good in the familiar tone that Gardner uses. Plenty of books, even some of the best ones, feel like they're speaking at you, whereas Between Worlds always speaks to you. However, there are numerous issues with plurals vs. possessives throughout the book. "Its" instead of "it's," "parents" instead of "parents'," and many other small errors were distracting because they made me wonder how carefully the book was edited. Clearly content is more important than mechanics, but all the same, the typos gave a slightly unprofessional tinge to an otherwise well-written book. Still, I'd recommend this to anyone who wants to gain a better understanding of the loss and fulfillment involved in a life spent on the move.
June 2, 2023
“In the hall of an old Inn by the ocean is a sign that read 'Home is Where Our Story Begins'. But if home is where our story begins, what happens when we can't go back?" I've been asking myself this for years, even decades, I think. This was a wonderful read, full of reminiscing and nostalgia for me, reminders of my beautiful childhood in the Amazon. The author expresses MK feelings well, even though her story is quite different from my own. It took me many years to learn a lot of what she says about belonging and grief and cultures. I "lived in a culture in between" and had to learn how to put down roots after years of travel and uprooting. Some moments from your childhood stay with you forever, and I too have saudade for those moments, for something that "does not and cannot exist" anymore. I didn't realize how much I was defined by the places I've been and how much it affects my understanding of my identity. "Yet this is the beauty of a God of movement, a God of place. He is not limited by geography." I absolutely loved this book. It might take me a lifetime to accept that I'm a combination of worlds, but reading books like this will help me do just that.
"Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. That is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story.”
"Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. That is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story.”
March 14, 2023
This book is really, really wise. It’s written by an adult TCK, so a lot of what it says is most applicable to TCKs, but so much is also relevant to people who grew up in their passport country but then moved abroad and experienced all the change of a mobile life. I think a lot of what she says about grieving well, saying goodbye and starting over somewhere new, and things like that would apply even for moves within your passport country.
I found so many great little insights or things that resonated with me in each little essay, but the book as a whole only felt very loosely organized. It’s divided into thematic chapters, then each chapter has a bunch of mini essays that flow from one to the next without any necessary connection or flow between them, other than the general topic of the chapter. It made for a bit of a choppy reading experience at times (especially because the Kindle formatting for some of the titles wasn’t great), but that’s really my only criticism of the book.
I found so many great little insights or things that resonated with me in each little essay, but the book as a whole only felt very loosely organized. It’s divided into thematic chapters, then each chapter has a bunch of mini essays that flow from one to the next without any necessary connection or flow between them, other than the general topic of the chapter. It made for a bit of a choppy reading experience at times (especially because the Kindle formatting for some of the titles wasn’t great), but that’s really my only criticism of the book.
September 19, 2014
I won this book by entering a Goodreads Giveaway.
I really enjoyed reading this book of essays. It was a book I could set down and easily pick back up in a few days. I found it very interesting to hear about Marilyn's experiences in living overseas for most of her life and coming "home" to visit. She has lived a very interesting life and was seen as an outcast because of the life her parents chose for her. The tales of boarding school, vacations and everyday life that she led I found interesting. I would love to visit the places that she lived and visited. It is a great read for someone who would love to travel but may not have the means to do so, you can imagine what it would be like through her stories.
I really enjoyed reading this book of essays. It was a book I could set down and easily pick back up in a few days. I found it very interesting to hear about Marilyn's experiences in living overseas for most of her life and coming "home" to visit. She has lived a very interesting life and was seen as an outcast because of the life her parents chose for her. The tales of boarding school, vacations and everyday life that she led I found interesting. I would love to visit the places that she lived and visited. It is a great read for someone who would love to travel but may not have the means to do so, you can imagine what it would be like through her stories.
April 3, 2015
The author grew up in Pakistan and as an adult lived overseas as well. Her stories come from her own coming and going throughout the years. They are a set of reflections processing her experiences and the ways that God as provided and cared for her as a child and as a parent as she built relationships, said goodbye, grieved, navigated new cultural experiences abroad and in the US. Reading this book was wonderfully comforting. I am not a "third culture kid" but have lived outside of my passport country for a few years now and these stories felt very familiar. I'm really glad that I came across this book and recommend it to others.
April 13, 2015
This book is amazing. I haven't read any one else capable of understanding and describing with such precision he joys, pains, struggles and tensions of being missionaries, and in particular of being MK or TCK. Thank you Marylin Gardner for sharing your heart and wisdom, making us laugh and cry at the same time. This book is refreshing, a must read. Once you get to the last page you feel lifted up and encouraged, somehow understood. I will certainly advice it to many friends, parents and growing TCK, teachers, kids pastors... and will read it often for myself. I'm waiting the next one impatiently!
July 7, 2016
"Every good story has a conflict. Never being fully part of any world is ours. This is what makes our stories and memories rich and worth hearing. We live between worlds, sometimes comfortable in one, sometimes in the other, but only truly comfortable in the space between. This is our conflict and the heart of our story."
Very good book that talks through what it's like to grow up in a third culture. Insightful look as to how that can direct the outlook on the rest of your life. Definitely recommend if you, or someone you care about has grown up in a third culture, it gave words to a lot of things that are very difficult to explain.
Very good book that talks through what it's like to grow up in a third culture. Insightful look as to how that can direct the outlook on the rest of your life. Definitely recommend if you, or someone you care about has grown up in a third culture, it gave words to a lot of things that are very difficult to explain.
December 30, 2022
I was not expecting to find this book as healing and encouraging as I found it to be! The word "essays" in the title kept me from reading it for years, because I thought that sounded boring. Ironically I read it in two nights while staying up due to jet lag from returning to the field. I am not a TCK myself, but I can still relate to so much of what she says--how we experience so much grief and loss, and the loss of a sense of place and identity, and therefore self-confidence. In general it is very helpful; maybe have your teen TCKs read it before they leave the house. "God be with ye" for "good-bye" is an insight I'll hold on to forever.
#Lit Life 2 for 22 Essays this century
#Lit Life 2 for 22 Essays this century
April 8, 2017
A letter from "home" for the TCK, nomad, or wanderer
It's fitting that I read this on a flight "home" after an unexpected two-week visit to the other side of the world to be with my mother following emergency surgery. Such is the world of the Third Culture Kid (TCK), a world Marilyn Gardner brings to life in this collection of interconnected essays that marries the rich biographical details of her own story with thought-provoking insights into the larger story of those who experience life as a journey--the nomad, the immigrant, the TCK.
It's fitting that I read this on a flight "home" after an unexpected two-week visit to the other side of the world to be with my mother following emergency surgery. Such is the world of the Third Culture Kid (TCK), a world Marilyn Gardner brings to life in this collection of interconnected essays that marries the rich biographical details of her own story with thought-provoking insights into the larger story of those who experience life as a journey--the nomad, the immigrant, the TCK.
March 24, 2015
This book's essays, I think, grew out of her blog on issues affecting Third Culture Kids and Adult Third Culture Kids. She takes around 70 of these essays and brings them out in key themes that affect TCK lives like place, identity, grief, travel, and other issues. Having worked on a book about the lives of missionary kids (MKs, of which Marilyn is one) for the past 15 years, I found while my own book often expanded on these themes, her book crystalized these themes perfectly. A very good book for those of us who grew up "between worlds".
August 6, 2015
Window to My Soul
Although I am not a TCK, I raised four of them in three countries. This book, written by an ATCK, touches so many aspects of what it's truly like to live 'between worlds', that I will come back to it again and again for inspiration and an extra dose of wisdom as I apply Marilyn's to my own experiences. I would recommend this to any TCKs, cross-cultural workers, anyone who works with TCKs, and any spouse or friend of a TCK. I give it a five-star rating, because it touched my soul.
Although I am not a TCK, I raised four of them in three countries. This book, written by an ATCK, touches so many aspects of what it's truly like to live 'between worlds', that I will come back to it again and again for inspiration and an extra dose of wisdom as I apply Marilyn's to my own experiences. I would recommend this to any TCKs, cross-cultural workers, anyone who works with TCKs, and any spouse or friend of a TCK. I give it a five-star rating, because it touched my soul.
March 15, 2016
As somebody who plans to live abroad, this book spoke to me. While I sense that Marilyn Gardner has many, many fascinating stories to tell, in these essays, she focuses on what these stories mean. She tells us what it is like to be a third culture kid, to be a stranger in one's homeland, to find oneself in situations most Americans can scarcely imagine. And she tells this in a way that anyone can learn from, whether or not they have had any of the same experiences.
I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
February 8, 2015
While the book was written for TCKs (third culture kids) I am a mom of 3 TCKs and an expat for almost 9 years, I so get it. I don't fit in the US any more. I don't fit in my adopted country either. Marilyn shares her heart stories of growing up in Pakistan and then returning to the US for college. She marries and returns to her life outside the US to only return several years later.
A series of essays share her heart thoughts.
A book that helps me to realize I am not alone.
A series of essays share her heart thoughts.
A book that helps me to realize I am not alone.
July 14, 2016
The words "between worlds" is the perfect description of a TCK life, and Gardner has captured the beauty and pain of living that life. As an adult living abroad and raising TCKs, I appreciated her brutal honesty (to know what my kids will feel) and enjoyed her humor and wisdom. In the end, I feel she leaves us readers with the thought that this nomadic life is hard...but worth it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews