Save the Males: Why Men Matter Why Women Should Care

by Kathleen Parker

Tell a woman we need to save the males and she’ll give you the name of her shrink. But cultural provocateur Kathleen Parker, who was raised by her father and who mothered a pack of boys, makes a humorous case for rescuing the allegedly stronger sex from trends that portend man’s cultural demise.

Save the Males is a shrewd, amusing, and sure-to-be-controversial look at how men, maleness, and fatherhood have been under siege in American culture for decades. Kathleen Parker argues that the feminist movement veered off course from its original aim of helping women achieve equality and ended up making enemies of men. With piercing wit, this nationally syndicated columnist shows us how the pendulum has swung from the reasonable middle to a place where men have been ridiculed in the public square and the importance of fatherhood has been diminished–all to the detriment of women, who ultimately suffer most.

The real losers, should we continue on our present course, are not just grown men and women but our children. Young people involuntarily drafted into the squabbles of their parents’ generation and raised in a climate of sexual hostility–also known as the “hookup culture”–may be fluent in porn, but their vocabulary is painfully limited when it comes to relationships.

While Parker gleefully skewers the silly side of the human experiment–like men in dresses and sperm shopping–she offers sobering statistics on the impact of the anti-male culture on the institution of the family and on relationships.

Exploring our burgeoning “slut culture” and the vividly narcissistic prevalence of vagina worship, Save the Males softens no edges. Parker tackles some of the more taboo subjects in today’s sexual politics and culture wars with perceptive analysis and a stinging sense of humor that will have America talking–and chuckling–about saving the males.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sociology, Politics, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

American newspaper columnist syndicated nationally by The Washington Post and published in more than 400 media outlets. Parker is a consulting faculty member at the Buckley School of Public Speaking. Parker was the 1993 winner of the H.L. Mencken Writing Award presented by the Baltimore Sun. She won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary for a selection of political opinion columns.

Reviews

[David · Rating 1 out of 5]

Holy crap, this is an awful book. I knew before I started it that Parker had a somewhat controversial thesis: feminism has a significant and deleterious effect on men. While most feminists are, well, pretty much every woman I know, there is a small but vocal minority that does in fact seem to hate men, or at the very least sees oppression by the patriarchy everywhere and blames men for every difficulty in life. Parker could have had, in my opinion, some legitimate issues to raise. But she blew it big time.

The first warning flag came when I noticed that the approving quotes on the book jacket are from Peggy Noonan, Bill Bennett, and George Will. Not a good sign. Then early on in the book, Parker approvingly cites "research" by the American Enterprise Institute, well known for picking results and then scrounging for data.

And it just goes downhill from there. Apparently, only violent rape, using physical force, is rape. Did you know that? Which is kind of odd, since not long after that, Parker introduces the idea of "emotional incest" in single-parent homes. She complains in incredulous tones about a teacher who used the pronoun "she" instead of "he" in situations of unspecified gender. Yes, that sounds odd. Which I think is a good thing - it sounds odd, and so makes you stop to think about it, and realize that always using "he" is quite odd too. And hopefully advance to using a gender-neutral pronoun ("they" works in singular too).

The problem is that while Parker does have some decent points, they are drowned out by seas of inanity and insanity. So many people have such strong feelings about gender relations that it's difficult to have a calm, sensible discussion about them, but sadly this book does nothing to change this.

Parker reiterates throughout the work that she's a feminist, women had it hard, men can be bad, etc. These constant qualifiers seem at best ineffectual, and more likely disingenuous. People who are actually moderate and pragmatic don't spend pages agonizing over very rare (and in any event harmless) things like vagina parties that turn into lesbian orgies. I mean, really.

[Brekke · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh, the premise was better than the follow through. I got a little lost in the sarcasm and deliberate over or under interpretation of facts.

I was particularly moved by a moment fairly early in the book where Parker is talking about Domestic Violence. She mentions that the Allstate website lists four women and their experiences. Parker quickly says that two of the women were totally justified for being there and then goes on to basically belittle the other two women and their stories because the men discussed in those cases were not physically violent. The stories include stories about these women not being able to drive their car or get a job due to intimidation or outright vandalism of property at the hands of the men in their lives. Parker spears these women for being in these relationships in the first place, totally ignoring the reasons that they may be in these relationships in the first place. And I do get her point that emotional and mental abuse is not exactly the same at Domestic Violence, but does that make it any less of a problem? No, it does not. Should these women who are bravely speaking out so others can get help in their mentally or emotionally abusive relationships be reviled by Parker? NO, NO THEY SHOULD NOT! At that moment in the text I needed to walk away from the book for a little.

I eventually did pick it up and finish. The point she is making is very valid. In a culture that pushes for equality for women shouldn't we also be insuring equality for men?

I also thought her commentary on the "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" shirts spot on. That would not fly at all if you replaced "boys" with "girls."

I guess I just feel the book would have been more effective had it been written with a more serious feel. I know that's not Parker's thing, but a whole book of this was just too irreverent for me.

An Addition: While discussing this book with a friend i stumbled across another problem I had with this book. Where are the solutions? Yes it sucks that divorced parents move thousands of miles away from each other and the kids suffer, but what other solution do you offer? I mean I guess getting people talking about it is a good thing, but I mean seriously. Why bring up and totally lambaste the problem, in a book no less, if you don't think you have a better answer than the one we're working with now?

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Feminism has gone so far as to render men nearly irrelevant, popular culture belittles them as stupid and clueless, and then people complain there's no chivalry any more. Is it any wonder? As western men struggle with the idea of what it is to be a man in today's world, Ms Parker paints a clear picture that shows the poor state of modern gender relations and explains how we got here. Instead of male-bashing, she shows how the more extreme feminists have not only undermined their own campaign, but managed to hurt women and children into the bargain. She also gives clear examples of feminist approaches that just don't work in practice, such as encouraging women in the army to engage in combat in the front lines of a war zone, and the rise of slut culture, seen by many as "empowering" so women can make their own choices, but actually hurting them in a more salacious manner. Her prose is erudite and witty, citing plenty of research to back up her claims. It's also nice to have a woman's perspective on this issue; a man who had produced a similar volume would probably have very little chance of publication. The only shortcoming in this book is that she offers no workable solutions other than a general call to our higher natures to respect others. Unfortunately, as history and life today shows us, this does not come automatically to the human being.

[Skylar Burris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I may have given this a higher rating if I hadn't already read so many sociological/political type books. But I have, and Kathleen Parker repeats a great many of the arguments and research I have already read in other books. She organizes it all in the direction of one premise: our culture need to focus on "saving the males" by revising the reversed double-standard that has arisen in the wake of feminism, approaching the education of boys differently than the education of girls, treating men with less hostility and presumption of guilt, depicting men more positively in media, and civilizing men better by encouraging women to raise their expectations and revise their own behaviors.

I more or less agree with her arguments, although I think she sometimes overstates her case. The advantage of Save the Males over most sociological/political books I have read is that the author is quite humorous, and this makes the book entertaining. (There are occasions, however, when I think perhaps she approaches serious topics with a little too much levity, so that her remarks border on the offensive, but most of the time she made me laugh.) The humor seems to abate about half way through the book, so that the second half is not nearly as amusing as the first.

If you've never read a book about the disadvantages of being male in a post-feminist culture, or if you've never read a book that suggests that the affects of feminism were not 100% positive for women, this is probably a good place to start. If you've read plenty on the subject, it might still at least be amusing, but you won't learn anything new or discover any original arguments.

Two quotes to give you a taste of her style:

"Women have done great things, no doubt. Radium! Madame Cure, you rule! But when it comes to the kinds of inventions and events that dot history's timeline, men deserve most of the credit….Martha Washington was a great woman, to be sure, but she did not, in fact, lead the American Revolution….We have to try to deal with that."

"For those of you who skipped their women's studies classes, first-wave feminism got women the vote; second-wave got them employed and divorced; third-wave is busy making them porn stars. More or less."

[Joanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

The thesis and conclusion almost saved this book, but not quite. Men matter, and women should care--everyone should care--I couldn't agree more. But for a book to drive this point home, I would highly recommend Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys instead (the only other book I've read on this topic).

Parker is a journalist, and perhaps that is why her book focused on the dramatic, the sensational, the headlines. I found her humorous approach fine at first, but it quickly became distracting as it escalated to a level of biting sarcasm and crude language that I didn't enjoy combing through to get at the heart of the matter. The disappointing lack of objectivity in her writing was a major blow to her credibility. She did, however, successfully stereotype various groups of both men and women in a very unflattering light based on a small, extreme subtype of the population, while at the same time criticizing others for doing the same thing. It's as if being controversial and offensive was as important to her as protecting boys and men.

Her basic points are legitimate, and I can only hope those who are introduced to the topic of saving males through her book will be able to sift through the detritus and develop an increased awareness of how we can be a force for good in the lives of boys and men.

[Carmen Liffengren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book pretty quickly, but there wasn't too much new information for me as I've read Christina Hoff Sommers's The War Against Boys and more recently, I've read Leonard Sax's Boys Adrift. Kathleen Parker does make all the arguments that boys are getting short-changed in a bitingly humorous manner and easily condenses a lot of info into a compact and concise 200 pages. Our boys are definitely falling behind mostly due to misguided feminism. Kathleen Parker indentifies the problems that boys are facing and how these problems affect our girls as well. Overall, a very good read to clarify the issues facing our boys and men in today's society.

[Jeffrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Save The Males by Kathleen Parker

To be fair, I admire some of Parker’s columns. She is a very talented writer and the book uses facts and research to support most of her claims. Yet, I feel that the subject itself was a mixed bag, as was the book. There is inequality between the sexes. There will most likely always be an inequality due to the simple fact that men and women are inherently different. Any argument that does not account for such a fact will be heavy-loaded with emotion and will lack reason. That said, I do believe that we are not where we need to be to make the sexes as equal as possible. Women, still get the low end in the work place. I will not mention pay disparities because I see that as a red-herring. What I see is that women are put in places or situations that few men would tolerate in the work place, whether it is fetching coffee, organizing parties or picnics or supplying birthday cards and cakes. I know that I use female workers to wrap my gifts (I ask as a friend, but it would never occur to me to ask a male co-worker). I admit this because I am for the most part, the least sexist conservative individual I know.
Parker’s thesis is correct; there is a war on men and on masculinity. Yet, as a male I do not feel the need for her defense. In one particular space she argues that men should be exempt from child support payments as long as they have no say on abortion. Well, I used that gambit as a freshman in college, a friend walked over and gave the best advice a young college man will get – Don’t forget your jimmy hat (meaning ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM). Men do have a say in the conception of a child. They can abstain from sex or take the necessary precautions to avoid disease and pregnancy. The constant battles over abortion need not be between the sexes, it is a matter that is unique in every case. She also argues about the need to make restraining orders and evictions harder to obtain. If this policy were implemented, it would mean more dead and or abused women in the short and long terms. A less naïve approach would be restraining orders that do not stay on the permanent record and do not curtail any constitutional freedoms (which in itself may be a violation of due process).
Overall, the book is a highly readable account from a conservative activist point of view. I disagree with a lot in the book, but Parker backs up much of her work with stats. I applaud her there. This is a book that should be read, if only to see the growing gap between us on these issues. I may not agree with her, but she brings up many important issues that need to be addressed as a society.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Whether you agree with Parker's thesis that a culture of feminism is harming American men, a problem remains with this book: she does not offer many solutions. Most of the book is complaints and examples of men in danger, but with no ways to fix them.

For example, Parker discusses how pornography and the "hook-up culture" hurt men, warping their brains and hindering their intimate relationships. But what can we do to fix this? And who is to blame for pornography's effects on men? The women who participate in pornography? Or the men who use it to the extent that it interferes with their relationships?

She also discusses an orientation program for college freshmen about drinking, partying, and date rape. A freshman boy leaves the program terrified, and tells his father he'll never go on a date again.

What's the solution here? We should stop teaching teenagers about date rape because it freaks them out? How would that help men again?

Later, Parker gets sick of writing the word "vagina." I don't know why. Apparently the word bothers her. So she starts referring to a vagina as "you know what" and "that v-word." If vaginas bother you so much, why devote so much ink to them? And if the word is okay for doctors, it's okay for me.

[Rachel Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot recommend this book enough, a MUST READ. Excellent chapters covering how men are being systematically eliminated from a society that is being increasingly feminised. "Deadbeat dad", "Sitcom Doofy Dad", absent "weekend dads", the unfairness of custody and the family courts - every word is so true.

Men need to be allowed to be MEN, and we should all stop wanting them to be shaved waxed plucked sensitive himbos, and let them go out to the shed and do manly stuff with tools, or let them have armpit hair and clean engine parts on the kitchen table now and again :D

[Nathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parker is far too conservative for my tastes, and though her thesis is appreciated, it smacks of a sort of morally-sanctioned ignorance - because she has a mandate, she can sound her warning tocsin and drown out the reality she seeks to deny. I was impressed that she doesn't come off as anti-woman, but her book is too one-sided, and more than that, it is dangerously naive. Still, what do you expect from a book that comes recommended by George F. Will and Bill Bennett?

[Stephen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's not a man's world any more. Far from it, Kathleen Parker writes: in America, men have not only been dethroned but imprisoned by a culture hostile to them. In Save the Males, Ms. Parker elaborates on the many ways in which the nature and contributions of men are scorned, abused, and discouraged by the prevailing culture, influenced as it is by 'third wave feminism'. The first wave feminism gave women the vote, second wave got them careers and divorces, and the third wave made them porn stars. Save the Males is less about men and more about the abuses of that third wave, which the author sees as not pro-women, but anti-male, and by virtue of the sexes' interrelatedness, anti-human. She raises a series of fair points, but the book's focus is wobbly.

Parker doesn't detail a campaign against men, but rather has a list of complaints about the various ways men are emasculated. Education is entirely girl-focused, she says: boys are forced to spend all day listening to soft-spoken women and denied rambunctious games of tag at recess. Women can merrily abort babies without ever consulting the fellows who contributed to the cause, divorce and child custody laws are outright malevolent to the male sex, and then there's porn! It...puts pressure on them to perform, or something. The list of attacks against men drifts into a list of ways society is degrading midway. As wretched as porn can be (and if you have doubts, read Chris Hedges' Empire of Illusion), the fact that it hurts men is somewhat tangential. More thoughtful are her remarks about women in the military: despite the fact that women can push buttons as well as men, we have yet to civilize warfare, which -- after plans go to hell -- is still an area where brute strength, testosterone-fueled ax-crazy risk-taking are needed. The desperate, primal struggles which erupt in Afghanistan and Iraq need frenzied, mighty men to deal with them. Even when women are tucked away into noncombat roles on the front, the unpredictable nature of war means they'll still get caught up in it -- and that's just not right. Regardless of our well-intentioned idealism, men and women at war are still men and women. Even if women weren't so physically inferior to men, says Parker, injection of sexual tension into combat zones would suggest keeping the military from being feminized. The tribal mentality that resurrects itself so mightily in combat will derail combat units' effectiveness when the men start worrying about their ladies being shot and raped. Given that the US has recently done away with its barring women from combat roles, that tension is worth pondering.

I'm not particularly convinced by Save the Males that we of the beard are in great need of saving, though Parker does raise a lot of points worth thinking about -- divorce, military policy, and to a degree, parenting. (Parker's assertion that boys need men to teach them to be men, and girls need women to teach them to be women, and thus that test-tube babies born to single mothers are deprived of half of their necessary gender acculturation, is at first glance intriuging: I'd never considered the idea that fathers teach boys how to act appropriately around women, and vice versa, but then I realized they don't, really, at least not outside 1950s sitcoms. And besides, who says we need to be taught to be men or women? If there are authentic gender roles, shouldn't they be as natural to us as breathing?) These ideas deserve more serious consideration, however, than they find here, in a book which contains one chapter on nothing but how women worship their vaginas.

[Rebecca Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not read this whole book...probably about 40-50 percent as I turned through each chapter. But I liked what I read. She has a very blunt and in-your-face writing style, but what she said really resonated with me. She writes about why society needs men to be men (and women to be women). The first section I read was one of the last chapters titled: sex, lies, and bunker blunders. (see what I mean...it is a little edgy) but she writes with some amazingly good reasons why women should not be in battle. She does not say that they should not be in the military, but she made some very convincing arguments why they have no business being in battle...not the least of which is the male/female interaction...one example being a man's innate desire to protect a female and another being the unique ability to get pregnant. She cites one report that states that during one 6 month period in Bosnia, a female had to be evacuated every three days (!) due to a pregnancy. She also writes about how pregnancy creates an unfair advantage...a woman can get pregnant to avoid deployment. My sister is a military wife and she has seen this first hand.
Another chapter is entitled: celebrity sluts and America's ho-down. Catchy, huh? This chapter was about the complete sexualization of America and it's effect on boys and girls alike. Very thought provoking and clearly written.
What really caught my eye was the front cover, so I picked it up to see what it was all about and I sure liked what I read!

[Barner · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kathleen Parker has a great style of writing: chatty, sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, serious but at the same time heavily sugared with humor. She also works in as many anti-Bush comments as she possible can. Parker's style makes the book a success; the subject matter is interesting and thought provoking while giving a frightening comment on today's society.

This writer has fun as she writes. An example would be her sarcastic comments on men now being an important part of the birthing process. And while she suggests that women are partly /mostly responsible for emasculating men, she makes a wonderful comment about her own father: "Being a father was far and away the manliest thing he ever did. Because ultimately, being a father means sacrifice and putting everyone else ahead of oneself.When we take away a man's central purpose in life...making him ridiculous and superfluous in the eyes of his children-we do nothing less than strip him of his manhood."

The thesis of the book is "save the males," We need them and sperm doners do not take the place of the real thing.

Her comments range from ADHD and ritilan, to girls becoming sex objects at the age of 5 (Jon Benet) to the open, flaunting sexuality of today.

The book is a good read: there is just so mcuh of it. I was not able to attend my book group's discussion. If I had, I am sure I would now have a greater appreciation of the book. I do, however, recommed it --or at least part of it.

[Andrew Rugg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Save the Males focuses on the current wave of feminist thought that seems more interested in being anti-male than pro-female. The book proves entertaining and often very clever. The author obviously knows how to turn a phrase. But it seems the book emphasizes the word play over more detailed analysis. The book reads more as a long rant than one that leaves the reader feeling educated and informed.

I find myself more than not sympathetic to the ideas presented here, but I wasn't blown away with the level of critical analysis. There were many claims left dangling where an obvious counter-argument presented itself.

When Ms. Parker critiques the goals of new wave feminists, she's at her strongest. Her chapter on women in the military is, in my opinion, the weakest. I did find myself muscling through a couple of particularly uninteresting parts throughout. But overall, the experience was rewarding.

The book also failed to accomplish it's chief goal. It seemed very intent of arguing what males should not be. It did not do such a great job in arguing what males should be. To claim, as the author does, that men and women can co-exist in the modern world with many shared responsibilities, but still acknowledge their differences remains an open question, especially considering the challenges Ms. Parker presents in her own book. At the very least, exploring what that world should look like deserved more attention. But alas, it's just easier to make fun on feminists.

[Morgan Sanchez · Rating 2 out of 5]

An irredeemable opinion piece on the negatives of feminism and cultural masculinity.

Parker's foray into the evils of feminism, affirmative action, and the consequences of the sexual revolution is laced with woman-hating opinions and vocabulary.

There are some uncomfortable accusations for women and rape, as well as some half-thoughts on what rape is and isn't that can be emotionally jarring and confusing to read. As well as this, Parker often starts out with a generalized point, and makes an emotional, opinionated mess about it, with no significant footnotes to further illustrate her points.

Parker explains various actions taken against men that robs them of their masculinity, but refuses to acknowledge the non-biological aspects of being male or female, and how gender roles are not as ingrained at birth as people of her generation believe.

The book is a study on traditional gender roles, backed up by personal experience rather than true science. While some of Parker's points do deserve additional scrutiny, such as the idea of affirmative action, a majority of the book is rambling to the point of insanity about how the culture refuses to acknowledge men as men.

A recommended read only to showcase the ideas and opinions of anti-female equality {not superiority}.

[VBergen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book was interesting and has good arguments, but at times is exaggerated and a it has way too much sarcasm.
Two points of the book were annoying:
- On women giving birth with their husbands, where the author says it is something women do without a man. Well, a friendly familiar face, encouraging words, and holding hands help when a woman is in pain and strangers surrounding her, sometimes cold unfriendly nurses or midwives put the hand inside and treat the woman like a plate or a piece of furniture instead of someone with pain and perhaps fear. On this subject, the author seems to be "that's nature. Svck it up".
- For Parker when a woman is in an abusive relationship she just has to open the door and leave because there are no bars in the window. There might be some heavy reasons behind for her to stay even if she is not happy, and simplifying it in such way is cold and superficial.
Nevertheless the book was good overall.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm probably a little obsessed with Kathleen Parker. I want to be Kathleen Parker when I grow up. I jokingly call her my girlfriend and my husband knows exactly who I mean.

So the fact that I like her book is no surprise and you should probably get an unbiased opinion before adding this to your to-read list. But, that said. this a great book on the destructive forces of feminism. I'm all for getting out of the kitchen and the right to vote - but not at the complete sacrifice of men. I look at my two little boys and wonder if I'm to buy into the full feminist mantra - at what point to these y-chromosome carriers transition into my mortal enemy.

Parker makes an excellent case for men and why we (women) should care.

[Mary Lou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes, yes, yes. In her conclusion, Parker writes about radical feminism and its "damage to both men and women - and especially children - while recognizing that sensible feminism isn't so much about advancing women as it is about advancing humankind. There's no such thing as a 'woman's issue' or a 'man's issue. If something is important, it's important to all." Nice summary. We're all in this together, and it's time we get back to a sensible middle ground that recognizes - and celebrates - the inherent differences between the genders and the balance that embracing those differences creates.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazingly insightful. It's not politically correct in anyway, just plain and simple logic. If you find yourself easily offended at simple truths, then you should avoid this book. However, I found it refreshing. The author's witty and realistic writings definitely give us something to think about. Are we blotting males from society? Do they deserve it for being..you know..men? Does we always need to be one upping each other? Can't both sexes be up? Ever? What is the cost for our changing social dynamic? With so many choices in this world, who is happily choosing men?

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

My husband read this book first and felt it would be a good read for me as well. I think I read it in about two days, which means that it kept my attention. It talks about how we (by "we" I mean some sections of society, like far left feminists) have come full circle from where women were struggling to prove that they are just as capable as men, to now acting like we don't need men at all. It had some very good points and as a strong-willed independent woman I thought it was very eye-opening.

[Galina Krasskova · Rating 3 out of 5]

thoughtful book, very nuanced discussions, including on abortion (very nuanced). I disagree with the author completely about women in combat (i think everyone male and female should be trained, ready, able, and experienced in military combat and many of the reasons she cites for not putting women in combat have to do with social conditioning) but otherwise it was a good read.

[Michele · Rating 1 out of 5]

An irritating morass of cliches and dubious claims. I fully believe men matter, but this book is irrelevant.

[Michelle Van Dyke · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out great. Eye opening stuff. Some things I've heard before like how men are portrayed as uncaring idiots on tv. Some things were new like boys need men in their lives by a certain age, that teachers, who are mostly female, unknowingly teach to and prefer girls, that female teachers naturally speak in a quieter voice than males so boys can't hear them or tune them out. This then gets labeled as ADD.
Ok so the male species is attacked. I get it. I agree. The book just goes downhill after this. It felt like a porn read. How women use men, cut off their gentils, the womens lib movement and how they openly talk about and show off private parts, encourage abortions without father having a say, the general double standard for women and unfairness child custody cases, disresp body parts etc etc. How a man can be accused of rape and a woman cannot. . Sex sex sex!!! Seriously, it was revolting. There are terrible things like this in the world but do you have to talk about it for the majority of the book?
Just the titles tell you.
Ch 4 gelding the American male
Ch 5 the vaginal diatribes and the sacred clitorati
Ch 6 celebrity sluts and American ho-down
Ch 7 sex, lies and bunker blunders.

That's it. Only 3 chapters that dont have sex as the main idea. I'm really disappointed. I liked it a lot in the first few chapters. I had to skim though a lot of the garbage in the middle. The author comes across as someone who hates women. I know she says women aren't to blame in some situations. But its 1 sentence! And about 40 paragraphs laying into the evil woman! Im not exaggerating here. I've counted. h. Oh and don't forget the women don't belong in combat part. That was actually something I agre with but again taking to death about the men feeling conflicted about naturally wanting to save the female soldier as well as get jealous when she sleeps w other soldiers etc etc..

[Eric Almeida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parker serves up a free-ranging and incisive critique of feminism in its late-twentieth and early-twenty-first century forms, particularly the anti-mail biases that now permeate the movement--- and hence, Western culture at large. Along the way she provides plenty of data and case studies to back up her arguments, but also leavens her material with humor to keep the balance light and fast-moving. This book is in no way misogynistic or ranting; it is adeptly and thoughtfully written, humane at its core and fun to read. Will American and other Western societies at some point take heed of the unfortunate realities that she so courageously highlights? One can only hope.

[Michael Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kathleen Parker is as persuasive and compelling as she is entertaining. She is not worried about political correctness- she calls out feminism and endorses traditional family values. Her arguments are all persuasive and backed with real-life examples.

[Darren Glazier · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the few 5 star ratings I’ve given. Written with great humor and clarity.

[Marshall · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pardon me for judging a book by its cover, but after 200 pages, I still have no idea what this book has to do with saving males. The most obvious questions to ask are, what are we saving males from? and how does one go about saving males? Is there some charity organization we should send money to, to help this endangered species?

In fact, I couldn't quite put my finger on what she was trying to say. Most of the book is just aimless rambling. To its credit, it's well-written and fun to read, but ultimately devoid of much substance. Its claims, when it actually makes them, are entirely without supporting evidence.

Toward the end, in the chapter, Celebrity Sluts and America's Ho-Down she launches a relentless attack against the evils of pornography and prostitution, and the ways they harm women. The funny thing about this is that it was impossible to tell whether this was a feminist argument or a traditionalist argument, as the position and arguments of both camps are the same. But again, I failed to see what the hell this had to do with saving males.

There were some passages I liked. I would like to end with my favorite, so as to not make this review completely negative. It's the very last words of the book:

"Maybe women should man the barricades and men should warm the milk. Maybe boys need to know more about Martha Washington's pickling processes, while girls should spend more time tossing truck tires. Maybe men are not necessary and women can manage just fine without them. Maybe human nature has been nurtured into submission and males and females are completely interchangeable.

"But I don't think so.

"When women say, 'No, honey, you stay in bed. I'll go see what that noise is'--I'll reconsider."

[Ganesh Rao · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting book that seriously ( and humorously) argues for re-examining men and masculinity in their proper perspectives for the betterment of human society. Kathleen correctly argues that though the feminist movement began with noble intentions ie to elevate the status of women in society and accord them rights that had been llong denied or suppressed by an over-the-top patriarchical system, that movement has morphed into what she calls radical feminism, which apprears to get legitimacy and its existence by belittling , humiliating and marginalising the role of men in society. Supported by research based evidence and opinions of a cross-section of society, she makes a case for rejecting radical feminism and adopting rational feminism instead, a world view that appreciates and accepts innate gender difference and is willing to carve out societal roles that are more in tune with it without the need to assert supremacy of one over the other and get into eternal unwinnable gender wars. She reserves her punch for very last in the chapter on women in combat and I cant help feeling that thats the crown of all her arguments. While the context is largely true of the USA ( and she states that too), one sees shades of this in our own society too, particularly the movement towards greater gender diversity ( for the sake of it), slut-walks and even laws that tend to favor women while inherently presuming all men as perpetrators and guilty. A thoroughly thought provoking read!

[Avi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hrm... I did enjoy a few parts of this book, and believe me, I *wish* I could say I liked it, but it was trashy. Some good data and source referencing in it, but a lots of anecdotes, rationalizations, glibness, and highly dubious assumptions (at best). No. No. This is not the book I wanted to read. Oh well. I wouldn't say it was a total waste of time though. I did learn some things from it... One of the statistics in it that I found impressive (but not surprising) was that "In 1999 the [National Fatherhood Initiative] conducted a study on how fathers were presented in 102 prime-time shows in which the father was a central character. In only four was the father portrayed as present and involved in his children's lives.... Often when fathers were present, they were characterized as deadbeats lowlifes, morons, or all of the above." A little googling expanding information on this study... "15 featured a father as a central character. Of these, the majority portrayed him as uninvolved, incompetent, or both." Interesting numbers, I thought.

Anyway, I found the book generally not so interesting. Not to mention frequently wrongheaded. If I could, I would have given it 1.5 stars... I don't think it's utterly worthless, but... I'm going to try some Warren Farrell instead, hopefully he'll be better...

[Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

I worry about the push in our culture to emasculate our men and de-feminize our women. In the name of equality we seem to be losing our unique identities.

It’s no wonder that the book Save the Males by Kathleen Parker caught my attention. Frankly, it’s a book I’d recommend only to those who are concerned with the de-gendering of America because it is both profane and sexually explicit. Nevertheless, Parker is right on target in many of her assertions and I managed to skim the less savory passages to get to the main ideas.

I recommend this insightful book to those who are troubled about the blurring of gender distinctions in our present day world.