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271 pages, Paperback
First published November 11, 2025
“Meep meep, motherfucker.”And that, right there, is undoubtedly one of the best lines ever. It's right up there with Daniel Faust's “Now watch me pull a rabbit out of this fucking hat” if you ask me. (Okay, so maybe these lines don't sound that great taken out of context, so you'll just have to trust me on that one 😬.)
"Remind me, we'll plant you some corn for smut."
"Smut," said Selena blankly. Err...is this some kind of vegetable pornography?
"Corn smut!" said Grandma. "Not as fun as it sounds." She winked. "It's a mold thing, grows on corn. Looks like hell, and you can't grow it on that fancy corn they grow in Iowa. And corn breeds by the wind, so you don't get it within ten miles of those cornfields."
"Why do we want to grow mold?"
Grandma grinned like an elderly shark. "'Cause there's fancy restaurants in the city that'll pay a goddamn fortune for the stuff."