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Something New: Tales from a Makeshift Bride
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Graphic Novels & Comics (2016)When cartoonist Lucy Knisley and her boyfriend John broke up, Lucy wondered if she would ever find love again. Three years later, she did--when John returned to New York, walked back into Lucy's life, and proposed.
This is not that story. It is the story of the "happily ever aftermath"--the wedding.
In this funny and moving memoir, Knisley--a working artist skeptical of the very institution of marriage--rolls up her sleeves and gets to work putting her personal artistic stamp on a tradition almost as old as humanity itself. From the venue (building a barn) to the reception (constructing a photo booth) to her wedding dress (sewing her own veil), Knisley channels her artist's ingenuity into every element of the wedding planning process, finally emerging from the creative chaos to stand, certain and joyful, at the altar with the man she loves.
This is not that story. It is the story of the "happily ever aftermath"--the wedding.
In this funny and moving memoir, Knisley--a working artist skeptical of the very institution of marriage--rolls up her sleeves and gets to work putting her personal artistic stamp on a tradition almost as old as humanity itself. From the venue (building a barn) to the reception (constructing a photo booth) to her wedding dress (sewing her own veil), Knisley channels her artist's ingenuity into every element of the wedding planning process, finally emerging from the creative chaos to stand, certain and joyful, at the altar with the man she loves.
292 pages, Paperback
First published May 6, 2016
103 people are currently reading
8634 people want to read
About the author
Lucy Knisley
53 books2,211 followersBeginning with an love for Archie comics and Calvin and Hobbes, Lucy Knisley (pronounced "nigh-zlee") has always thought of cartooning as the only profession she is suited for. A New York City kid raised by a family of foodies, Lucy is a graduate of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago currently pursuing an MFA at the Center for Cartoon Studies. While completing her BFA at the School of the Art Institute, she was comics editor for the award-winning student publication F News Magazine.
Lucy currently resides in New York City where she makes comics. She likes books, sewing, bicycles, food you can eat with a spoon, manatees, nice pens, costumes, baking and Oscar Wilde. She occasionally has been known to wear amazing hats.
She can be reached via e-mail at lucylou@gmail.com.
(copied from http://www.lucyknisley.com/about on 12/31/08)
Lucy currently resides in New York City where she makes comics. She likes books, sewing, bicycles, food you can eat with a spoon, manatees, nice pens, costumes, baking and Oscar Wilde. She occasionally has been known to wear amazing hats.
She can be reached via e-mail at lucylou@gmail.com.
(copied from http://www.lucyknisley.com/about on 12/31/08)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,145 reviews
September 19, 2019
My reviews of Lucy Knisley’s previous works have revealed some ambivalence on my part: She’s great when writing about travel or food, but at a certain point a little more emotional investment is required, by both the writer/artist and the reader. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need to know every gory detail of a writer’s life, but I feel like Knisley alludes to heavier things—depression in her family, her parents’ divorce, the (apparently not great) way her father treats his girlfriends—and then quickly dashes back to something less interesting, something that goes down more easily and is as facile as a not-very-good TV drama. The problems she does talk about are usually pretty minor in the grand scheme of things, and as a result she often comes off, to me, as entitled and whiny, and her books can be unsatisfyingly callow. I thought 2014’s An Age of License was her worst offender to date, and it made me reluctant to read subsequent books. However, I recently read Displacement (2015) and thought it was a little better in this regard, so I was prepared to give Something New a try.
Unfortunately, this book has all of the problems typical of Knisley’s work, without much else to make it appealing. At the beginning, we learn Lucy and her beloved boyfriend John had broken up because they disagreed about whether to have kids. Lucy then spends four years dating around, including a brief relationship with a delightful Swedish dude who she kicks to the curb because she needs her space. At the end of the four years, John comes around to Lucy’s feelings about kids and proposes immediately. Oh, thank God Lucy got proposed to while she was still 29! Can you imagine if she had made it to 30 still single?!? To be fair, Lucy doesn’t allude to her age in this way, but she does make it seem as if her four years of relative singlehood were one of the worst experiences a person could ever have ever. How many people can seriously sympathize with this, particularly in a twentysomething? Honestly, Lucy, if this is the biggest problem you can dredge up, you have it pretty good.
But don’t worry, Lucy can dredge up more problems! These have to do with the fact that she and John decide to have a wedding (as opposed to getting married at city hall) because Lucy is afraid to defy her parents’ wishes. (Um… if you can’t stand up to your parents, you may not be mature enough to get married. Just saying.) But the PROBLEM with having a WEDDING, you see, is that there is just SO much PRESSURE to have a certain kind of ceremony! Who can possibly withstand it? Poor Lucy and John, “forced” to have a lovely wedding that is almost entirely paid for by other people. It’s so tough, y’all, it really is.
Lucy and John deal with the “pressure” to have a storybook wedding by making many of the wedding-related items themselves, including decorations, favors, etc. They get the food at a discount because Lucy’s mom, a retired chef and caterer, knows so many people in this line of work. The venue is free because Lucy’s mom has a barn built on her property for them to use (oh, thank God!). It’s hard to know what the purpose of all this is. Ostensibly Lucy is trying to let other brides know that they don’t have to conform to societal expectations of what a wedding “should” be and can do things their own way. But how many brides have the creative skills, the funds, and the connections Lucy does? She’s like a twentysomething Martha Stewart on crack. If I were planning a wedding, this book would intimidate me just as much as any wedding magazine, and possibly more.
But I’m not planning a wedding, and honestly, only people planning a wedding could find a 300-page graphic memoir about wedding planning interesting—and that’s being charitable; I’m sure there are plenty of people planning a wedding who would find this just as mind-numbing as I did. There’s just not enough new here to be interesting, and far too much whining to engender much sympathy.
True to Knisley’s usual MO, she does touch on an actual interesting problem: the fact that marrying someone of the opposite sex tends to result in an erasure of bisexuality. Unfortunately, she dwells on this for approximately three seconds before moving on to other concerns, such as the fact that her mother wants to pay for a band for the wedding, while Lucy wants recorded music. Oh, the humanity.
What bothered me most about this book is that Knisley clearly thinks she’s writing some revolutionary manifesto against the wedding industry here, but she just isn’t. Like many other American brides, she spends a lot of money and time on her wedding, essentially making it the focus of her life for a year. She sets a very high standard that not a lot of brides can live up to, but seems oblivious to this. And that obliviousness is my major problem with this work. There are books that are subversive and there are books that are trite, but the last kind of book I want to read is a book that thinks it’s subversive but is just so tiresomely trite.
I won this book from the publisher, First Second, in a Shelf Awareness giveaway. Thank you and I’m sorry, First Second. I ordinarily love your stuff, but I just couldn’t love this.
Edited on September 19, 2019: Much as I disliked this book, I'm going to do the author a solid and mention that I also got a review copy of her subsequent book, Kid Gloves, and I liked it much, much better than this one. If you're thinking of reading this one, read that one instead! See my review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Unfortunately, this book has all of the problems typical of Knisley’s work, without much else to make it appealing. At the beginning, we learn Lucy and her beloved boyfriend John had broken up because they disagreed about whether to have kids. Lucy then spends four years dating around, including a brief relationship with a delightful Swedish dude who she kicks to the curb because she needs her space. At the end of the four years, John comes around to Lucy’s feelings about kids and proposes immediately. Oh, thank God Lucy got proposed to while she was still 29! Can you imagine if she had made it to 30 still single?!? To be fair, Lucy doesn’t allude to her age in this way, but she does make it seem as if her four years of relative singlehood were one of the worst experiences a person could ever have ever. How many people can seriously sympathize with this, particularly in a twentysomething? Honestly, Lucy, if this is the biggest problem you can dredge up, you have it pretty good.
But don’t worry, Lucy can dredge up more problems! These have to do with the fact that she and John decide to have a wedding (as opposed to getting married at city hall) because Lucy is afraid to defy her parents’ wishes. (Um… if you can’t stand up to your parents, you may not be mature enough to get married. Just saying.) But the PROBLEM with having a WEDDING, you see, is that there is just SO much PRESSURE to have a certain kind of ceremony! Who can possibly withstand it? Poor Lucy and John, “forced” to have a lovely wedding that is almost entirely paid for by other people. It’s so tough, y’all, it really is.
Lucy and John deal with the “pressure” to have a storybook wedding by making many of the wedding-related items themselves, including decorations, favors, etc. They get the food at a discount because Lucy’s mom, a retired chef and caterer, knows so many people in this line of work. The venue is free because Lucy’s mom has a barn built on her property for them to use (oh, thank God!). It’s hard to know what the purpose of all this is. Ostensibly Lucy is trying to let other brides know that they don’t have to conform to societal expectations of what a wedding “should” be and can do things their own way. But how many brides have the creative skills, the funds, and the connections Lucy does? She’s like a twentysomething Martha Stewart on crack. If I were planning a wedding, this book would intimidate me just as much as any wedding magazine, and possibly more.
But I’m not planning a wedding, and honestly, only people planning a wedding could find a 300-page graphic memoir about wedding planning interesting—and that’s being charitable; I’m sure there are plenty of people planning a wedding who would find this just as mind-numbing as I did. There’s just not enough new here to be interesting, and far too much whining to engender much sympathy.
True to Knisley’s usual MO, she does touch on an actual interesting problem: the fact that marrying someone of the opposite sex tends to result in an erasure of bisexuality. Unfortunately, she dwells on this for approximately three seconds before moving on to other concerns, such as the fact that her mother wants to pay for a band for the wedding, while Lucy wants recorded music. Oh, the humanity.
What bothered me most about this book is that Knisley clearly thinks she’s writing some revolutionary manifesto against the wedding industry here, but she just isn’t. Like many other American brides, she spends a lot of money and time on her wedding, essentially making it the focus of her life for a year. She sets a very high standard that not a lot of brides can live up to, but seems oblivious to this. And that obliviousness is my major problem with this work. There are books that are subversive and there are books that are trite, but the last kind of book I want to read is a book that thinks it’s subversive but is just so tiresomely trite.
I won this book from the publisher, First Second, in a Shelf Awareness giveaway. Thank you and I’m sorry, First Second. I ordinarily love your stuff, but I just couldn’t love this.
Edited on September 19, 2019: Much as I disliked this book, I'm going to do the author a solid and mention that I also got a review copy of her subsequent book, Kid Gloves, and I liked it much, much better than this one. If you're thinking of reading this one, read that one instead! See my review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
December 8, 2021
In Something New: Tales From a Makeshift Bride, cartoonist Lucy Knisley shares all the details of her wedding planning while exploring her own feelings about weddings in general. Until she got engaged, Knisley couldn’t relate to wedding fever. Weddings struck her as unnecessary and consumerist, with antiquated sexist traditions. Her feelings changed somewhat when she had to plan her own wedding and realized that going to the courthouse for a quick, no-frills ceremony wasn’t something she really wanted.
At almost 300 pages, Something New is dense with details. It starts with the meet-cute of Knisley and her husband-to-be, John; through the uncertainties of their relationship; then through their engagement, wedding, and a tiny bit of their honeymoon. Knisley’s drawings are cheerful, clean, and brightly colored, with legible text. For those statements that don’t naturally lend themselves to illustration, she thinks outside the box, and this is where she shines as a cartoonist–when she has to tap into that inventive side.
If there’s one thing the book gets across it’s that wedding planning is a lot of work. The planning consumed her and John’s lives, and many pages are devoted to showing that–as well as their stress, frustration, and worry. Fortunately, their efforts paid off; they made their wedding their own and saved money wherever they could without cutting corners.
Something New also has some deeper moments. “Makeshift bride” is an imprecise descriptor for Knisley; she was a “hesitant bride.” She grappled with her feelings as a bisexual, feminist, and atheist contributing to a one-size-fits-all wedding industry that champions traditional gender roles and encourages conformity. These are thought-provoking observations: Why, in the 21st century, do sexist traditions, such as dad walking the bride down the aisle to “give her away,” persist? Why is asking for “permission” from the father to marry the daughter considered the proper thing to do? Why do wedding traditions remain sacrosanct in an ever-evolving world where so much else about gender roles and sexism is being confronted and reformed? In the end, Knisley adhered to a few traditions that are unsexist or altered some to be unsexist, but mostly, she and John eliminated a lot and really personalized their wedding. This graphic novel is a love letter to this momentous time in her life, and her joy comes through loud and clear.
Readers who have planned their own wedding (or are in the process) are the obvious audience for Something New, as are fans of Knisley herself. This is primarily a mini-memoir of this time in the author’s life. But it’s not only that. The soft pink-and-blue cover art belies a memoir that has surprisingly introspective and insightful sections. There’s more than meets the eye with Something New and the added heft will make it appealing to a wider audience.
At almost 300 pages, Something New is dense with details. It starts with the meet-cute of Knisley and her husband-to-be, John; through the uncertainties of their relationship; then through their engagement, wedding, and a tiny bit of their honeymoon. Knisley’s drawings are cheerful, clean, and brightly colored, with legible text. For those statements that don’t naturally lend themselves to illustration, she thinks outside the box, and this is where she shines as a cartoonist–when she has to tap into that inventive side.
If there’s one thing the book gets across it’s that wedding planning is a lot of work. The planning consumed her and John’s lives, and many pages are devoted to showing that–as well as their stress, frustration, and worry. Fortunately, their efforts paid off; they made their wedding their own and saved money wherever they could without cutting corners.
Something New also has some deeper moments. “Makeshift bride” is an imprecise descriptor for Knisley; she was a “hesitant bride.” She grappled with her feelings as a bisexual, feminist, and atheist contributing to a one-size-fits-all wedding industry that champions traditional gender roles and encourages conformity. These are thought-provoking observations: Why, in the 21st century, do sexist traditions, such as dad walking the bride down the aisle to “give her away,” persist? Why is asking for “permission” from the father to marry the daughter considered the proper thing to do? Why do wedding traditions remain sacrosanct in an ever-evolving world where so much else about gender roles and sexism is being confronted and reformed? In the end, Knisley adhered to a few traditions that are unsexist or altered some to be unsexist, but mostly, she and John eliminated a lot and really personalized their wedding. This graphic novel is a love letter to this momentous time in her life, and her joy comes through loud and clear.
Readers who have planned their own wedding (or are in the process) are the obvious audience for Something New, as are fans of Knisley herself. This is primarily a mini-memoir of this time in the author’s life. But it’s not only that. The soft pink-and-blue cover art belies a memoir that has surprisingly introspective and insightful sections. There’s more than meets the eye with Something New and the added heft will make it appealing to a wider audience.
January 1, 2018
I also really enjoyed this book!
I don't think I loved it as much as I wanted to or more than her other novel, Relish but it holds a special place in my heart because, well, weddings!
I am a wedding photographer so I love weddings and I get how stressful planning they can be.
I do however feel when your planning a wedding it's all me, me , me buts your big day, it makes sense but still this book kind of screamed that.
I also felt like she said she wasn't like a typical bride about 1000 times and ending up caring even more than most of my brides...so def very typical.
I think I just wanted to love this one a little more.
I don't think I loved it as much as I wanted to or more than her other novel, Relish but it holds a special place in my heart because, well, weddings!
I am a wedding photographer so I love weddings and I get how stressful planning they can be.
I do however feel when your planning a wedding it's all me, me , me buts your big day, it makes sense but still this book kind of screamed that.
I also felt like she said she wasn't like a typical bride about 1000 times and ending up caring even more than most of my brides...so def very typical.
I think I just wanted to love this one a little more.
first-second-publications
May 3, 2016We love this graphic novel!
One of the features of the graphic novel industry is that it's tough to find books that are actually meant for an audience of women in their twenties and thirties. There are a few of them out there (and many of those books are awesome!), but it's great to have Lucy Knisley closing that gap -- and creating books that are meant for the kind of readers that make up 4/5ths of the staff at First Second.
Yay that! And yay Lucy, for creating engaging, hilarious, heartwarming stories for us.
One of the features of the graphic novel industry is that it's tough to find books that are actually meant for an audience of women in their twenties and thirties. There are a few of them out there (and many of those books are awesome!), but it's great to have Lucy Knisley closing that gap -- and creating books that are meant for the kind of readers that make up 4/5ths of the staff at First Second.
Yay that! And yay Lucy, for creating engaging, hilarious, heartwarming stories for us.
May 10, 2019
I ended up liking this book alot. The last half of it went fast. I appreciate some of her research on Weddings customs around the world and I like some of the new ideas she put in place here and what she chose to do at hers.
For me, I had a hard time getting through the beginning. It felt so long, so long. I like Lucy's stories, but she has a lot of words on the page. There is nothing wrong with that, but it takes more time to read. I ended up avoiding this because it felt so long. I'm so glad I stuff with it. I had to get past the half-way mark for this to really engage me for whatever reason. I'm sure it has more to do with me than the story.
I thought this was a great diary of Lucy's wedding. It was very touching in many places. I'm so glad she got such a lovely day. She is a very interesting person. I'm glad I made it through.
For me, I had a hard time getting through the beginning. It felt so long, so long. I like Lucy's stories, but she has a lot of words on the page. There is nothing wrong with that, but it takes more time to read. I ended up avoiding this because it felt so long. I'm so glad I stuff with it. I had to get past the half-way mark for this to really engage me for whatever reason. I'm sure it has more to do with me than the story.
I thought this was a great diary of Lucy's wedding. It was very touching in many places. I'm so glad she got such a lovely day. She is a very interesting person. I'm glad I made it through.
July 4, 2016
Yes, I actually read all of a 290 page book about Knisley's wedding (!!), which would be of interest more to those going to be married, or just married. And women, primarily, I am guessing. The artwork is as it always has been in her four books so far, fun, sweet, adorable, colorful, the main attraction of all her books, and it's better than ever, maybe, in this one. But she skirts larger, deeper issues she just hints at for a focus on all the arrangements, about the emotional freaking out over people not replying to their invitations, about buying the right and affordable dress, and so on. And did she mention enough HOW MUCH she loves her new husband and finds him sexy and adorable? She claims to be a rebel against the wedding industry, but aren't many? most? dismayed by a lot of traditional approaches to weddings?
Okay, as a middle-aged man I am not the primary audience for this text, which I personally found just all right, in terms of the content, but I won't kick it to the curb just because it wasn't written for me, or because it is about the Joy and Strangeness of Getting Married, so I'll add a star to in part acknowledge all the (largely women) readers who love this one. I prefer Relish to all her others so far, though.
Okay, as a middle-aged man I am not the primary audience for this text, which I personally found just all right, in terms of the content, but I won't kick it to the curb just because it wasn't written for me, or because it is about the Joy and Strangeness of Getting Married, so I'll add a star to in part acknowledge all the (largely women) readers who love this one. I prefer Relish to all her others so far, though.
July 4, 2016
Good thing I still enjoy reading graphic novels that I don't even like.
I finished this book and didn't know what the point of it is until I read the "thank you" section which describes it as "a wedding story about how nuts weddings are, but, at the same time, how great." The main problem with the book is that the author spends a lot of time criticizing the wedding industry and societal expectations to spend money and look perfect, while squarely adhering to and promoting the new unachievable standard of hosting a unique, completely DIY event. She tries to give the impression of being thrifty and not complying with needless and sexist traditions, while still having a gigantic wedding, three engagement parties, a bridal shower, and tons of (what I would consider) extras. This would have been fine if it were a more emotional memoir which better expressed who she was, where she and her fiancé were coming from, and how they arrived at the wedding they had--instead of simply a chronicle of the process. I think she tried to do this but it doesn't land. Basically if you have planned a wedding, you have already experienced this book. Maybe you were surprised how fast Facebook ads targeted you when you changed your relationship status; maybe you weren't.
Another gripe is that too many of the panels simply illustrate the narration instead of adding to it. For instance the picture of the calendar with Saturday circled (although actually Friday is circled).
I finished this book and didn't know what the point of it is until I read the "thank you" section which describes it as "a wedding story about how nuts weddings are, but, at the same time, how great." The main problem with the book is that the author spends a lot of time criticizing the wedding industry and societal expectations to spend money and look perfect, while squarely adhering to and promoting the new unachievable standard of hosting a unique, completely DIY event. She tries to give the impression of being thrifty and not complying with needless and sexist traditions, while still having a gigantic wedding, three engagement parties, a bridal shower, and tons of (what I would consider) extras. This would have been fine if it were a more emotional memoir which better expressed who she was, where she and her fiancé were coming from, and how they arrived at the wedding they had--instead of simply a chronicle of the process. I think she tried to do this but it doesn't land. Basically if you have planned a wedding, you have already experienced this book. Maybe you were surprised how fast Facebook ads targeted you when you changed your relationship status; maybe you weren't.
Another gripe is that too many of the panels simply illustrate the narration instead of adding to it. For instance the picture of the calendar with Saturday circled (although actually Friday is circled).
September 1, 2018
This was the greatest graphic novel I've laid my hands on. It was so much fun!
Lucy Knisley takes this opportunity to walk us through her relationship with John and the road to their wedding and the aftermath. It was such a creative way to illustrate (pun intended! hah) her and the nuances and frustrations that come with that. I appreciate Lucy's honesty about her previous relationships and how having children was a pivotal decision in her life.
I loved the drama, the personal touches she incorporated into her wedding, and her aversion to the norm. This was funny and clever and I couldn't wait to keep turning those pages. I also loved the little mini breaks in between chapters and the real pictures that were added in. This really felt like a personal labor of love and I enjoyed every moment. This would be great for someone that is looking to explore the world of graphic novels without superheroes.
Lucy Knisley takes this opportunity to walk us through her relationship with John and the road to their wedding and the aftermath. It was such a creative way to illustrate (pun intended! hah) her and the nuances and frustrations that come with that. I appreciate Lucy's honesty about her previous relationships and how having children was a pivotal decision in her life.
I loved the drama, the personal touches she incorporated into her wedding, and her aversion to the norm. This was funny and clever and I couldn't wait to keep turning those pages. I also loved the little mini breaks in between chapters and the real pictures that were added in. This really felt like a personal labor of love and I enjoyed every moment. This would be great for someone that is looking to explore the world of graphic novels without superheroes.
July 24, 2017
I am divorced and, as you'd probably guess, I have complicated feelings about weddings. So it's probably no surprise that I have complicated feelings about this book. If anyone is ever going to try to do a frothy but warm look at wedding culture and one wedding in particular, Knisley is well suited for it. She is charming, self-aware, able to provide a lot of perspective, and the graphic memoir format works very well for the subject matter.
I really appreciated the variety of approaches Knisley took to the issue (the section on being bisexual and marrying an opposite-sex partner in particular struck a chord with me) and the immediacy of the story which she wrote as she was wedding planning.
But any book about a person's wedding written with that immediacy is going to lack a sense of remove and critical thought. Distance is useful when writing about these things, it helps us understand a bigger context of those memories. There are times when she discusses her wedding and planning where it feels like Knisley has blinders on both at the time and during the writing. And, well, it's hard to avoid the issue of privilege when you talk about wedding planning. That to be able to hold a big wedding relatively cheaply isn't always about your own personal priorities but about who you know and how big their pockets are. That piece of the puzzle is a very large one and Knisley leaves it almost entirely unexamined besides encouraging people to go to their family and friends for help, ignoring the fact that many people don't have those support systems to provide that help. The idea of having a "personal" wedding is embraced rather than examined as well.
Of course I'm going to be a nitpicker. I look back at my own wedding and while there are things I am happy about, I am disappointed in myself that I let myself get as wrapped up in it as I did and I did not get very wrapped up in it at all. (40 guests, no alcohol, no bachelorette party, no centerpieces, etc.) The very idea that coming together around weddings as a society is a good thing is something I cannot necessarily endorse.
But with all that said, I was very charmed by Knisley, though ironically it was when the wedding itself was less at the forefront that she seemed at her best to me.
I really appreciated the variety of approaches Knisley took to the issue (the section on being bisexual and marrying an opposite-sex partner in particular struck a chord with me) and the immediacy of the story which she wrote as she was wedding planning.
But any book about a person's wedding written with that immediacy is going to lack a sense of remove and critical thought. Distance is useful when writing about these things, it helps us understand a bigger context of those memories. There are times when she discusses her wedding and planning where it feels like Knisley has blinders on both at the time and during the writing. And, well, it's hard to avoid the issue of privilege when you talk about wedding planning. That to be able to hold a big wedding relatively cheaply isn't always about your own personal priorities but about who you know and how big their pockets are. That piece of the puzzle is a very large one and Knisley leaves it almost entirely unexamined besides encouraging people to go to their family and friends for help, ignoring the fact that many people don't have those support systems to provide that help. The idea of having a "personal" wedding is embraced rather than examined as well.
Of course I'm going to be a nitpicker. I look back at my own wedding and while there are things I am happy about, I am disappointed in myself that I let myself get as wrapped up in it as I did and I did not get very wrapped up in it at all. (40 guests, no alcohol, no bachelorette party, no centerpieces, etc.) The very idea that coming together around weddings as a society is a good thing is something I cannot necessarily endorse.
But with all that said, I was very charmed by Knisley, though ironically it was when the wedding itself was less at the forefront that she seemed at her best to me.
June 8, 2017
Something New is Lucy Knisley's memoir of meeting her future husband and getting married. Ordinarily that wouldn't be my thing but I really liked her previous book Relish and I spotted this at the library and picked it up. I liked it and I thought it worked because of Knisley's art and her humor. It's a good looking book: I love the cover and her crisp drawing style. I also love the little interludes throughout the book: a combination memoir/recipe/tribute to poutine or weird German matrimonial traditions. Even throughout the more straightforward narrative parts she always inserts funny asides or cutaways (she imagines herself falling off a dock in her wedding dress drily uttering "nards!" as she plunges into the water).
It's one of the first graphic novels I've read that took me a few days to get through: as Knisley reminds us more than once it's around 300 pages. But the art and humor mostly sustain the momentum. It might have benefited from some editing. The scenes around the actual wedding and the lead up felt a bit flat and overly sentimental. I can sympathize with Knisley wanting to keep a kind of diary of who and what happened but it lost a bit of the spark here.
As an aside how does editing work with graphic novels? I mean, it's not just words that are getting cut. Maybe it's hard for an editor to break it to the author that pages and pages of painstakingly drawn panels have to be scrapped. And then all the pages have to be rearranged!? I'm sure that's not how it works. They probably just make a rough storyboard and edit that. Right? I'm getting stressed out just thinking about it.
It's one of the first graphic novels I've read that took me a few days to get through: as Knisley reminds us more than once it's around 300 pages. But the art and humor mostly sustain the momentum. It might have benefited from some editing. The scenes around the actual wedding and the lead up felt a bit flat and overly sentimental. I can sympathize with Knisley wanting to keep a kind of diary of who and what happened but it lost a bit of the spark here.
As an aside how does editing work with graphic novels? I mean, it's not just words that are getting cut. Maybe it's hard for an editor to break it to the author that pages and pages of painstakingly drawn panels have to be scrapped. And then all the pages have to be rearranged!? I'm sure that's not how it works. They probably just make a rough storyboard and edit that. Right? I'm getting stressed out just thinking about it.
June 22, 2016
Adore this author :)
July 20, 2017
Extremely cute! Still glad I didn't have my own wedding (my god are they expensive and stressful), but reading about Lucy Knisley's was a really sweet and entertaining experience. If only I had her creative talent...I could throw some killer DIY parties. Alas, I'll stick with my spreadsheets.
May 23, 2016
Not the best thing that Knisley's done, in my opinion, but still generally enjoyable. Probably having fairly recently lived through my sister's wedding might have given me some perspective that helped the book. I'm not sure I would have liked it at all otherwise.
November 13, 2019
What a great graphic memoir about trying to plan a wedding that fits who you are but doesn't break the bank. Knisley's drawings, like her words, are precise, with just enough detail. Topics range from fun facts about wedding traditions around the world to fighting with your mom about her inviting the whole neighbourhood to making crafty decorations to how to reconcile a bisexual feminist identity with the hetero/sexist institution of marriage. I somehow didn't know or forgot Knisley was bisexual until I was already reading this, so that was a lovely and unexpected surprise!
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March 9, 2016I got married 9 years ago (holy crap) and it was a totally low-key, I-hate-planning-stuff event. I asked my mom and my friends who'd be in the wedding how they would feel about flying to Vegas to do it. And...that's what everyone did, except for my husband and I, who drove immediately after our college graduation in Iowa out to Vegas. We planned a wedding at one of the hotels in a beautiful outside garden, and by "planned," I mean someone did it all, and I had to point at some colors and flower styles. I remember hating the flowers immensely and also not caring because all of my friends and family were in Las Vegas to party with us. That...is the entire wedding story. It cost almost nothing, my wedding dress was a bridesmaid's dress and cost under $200, and we didn't have a cake (and we DID have an open bar no one took advantage of because the table wine was a hit).
All of this preface is to say I really liked this book because I didn't relate to any of it! I enjoyed watching it from the outside, much in the way that John recalls the honeymoon-photo-shoot experience he and Lucy witnessed. I didn't need any of the advice in here, but I found the anecdotes to be funny and fun, and I thought the big "take away" at the end was worth the ride there.
I loved how Knisley incorporated photographs, as well as small tradition tidbits into the collection, giving it something a little more personal. I mean, a graphic memoir IS personal, but then when you get to see a picture of the thing she drew, there's another layer there.
People who love wedding stories will love this. Those who are in the thick of being married now might not, though those who are beyond (like myself!) can enjoy it, too. This is nicely inclusive, as it would be, since our world is many colored, gendered, romantic, and more.
All of this preface is to say I really liked this book because I didn't relate to any of it! I enjoyed watching it from the outside, much in the way that John recalls the honeymoon-photo-shoot experience he and Lucy witnessed. I didn't need any of the advice in here, but I found the anecdotes to be funny and fun, and I thought the big "take away" at the end was worth the ride there.
I loved how Knisley incorporated photographs, as well as small tradition tidbits into the collection, giving it something a little more personal. I mean, a graphic memoir IS personal, but then when you get to see a picture of the thing she drew, there's another layer there.
People who love wedding stories will love this. Those who are in the thick of being married now might not, though those who are beyond (like myself!) can enjoy it, too. This is nicely inclusive, as it would be, since our world is many colored, gendered, romantic, and more.
September 1, 2016
I don't feel like really reviewing this, so a small blurb will have to do. I always enjoy reading Lucy Knisley's stuff, it's like catching up with her. I don't think I'm at all objective though. She writes these autobiographical comics and books so I feel like I'm catching up with her life as she's living it, for going on eleven years now. It's really sort of unique what she does, documenting her life as it happens, for public consumption. I see other reviewers taking her style and interpreting it as overly privileged or not hard hitting or analytical enough. Those people should probably stop reading her stuff, she's not going to deliver what they seem to be looking for. I also get really annoyed when people dismiss a book as "bad" when their only criticism is "this isn't the book I wanted to read." Two different complaints there, and I wish people would recognize it. This is Lucy's documentation of her wedding. She is self-reflective and honest about what her actual feelings were at the time. YMMV.
pre-publication review: I didn't know she and John had gotten married! The last I heard, they had just gotten back together because he changed his mind about having kids, and I was so happy for them because she was so sad when they broke up <3 <3 I feel like I know Lucy Knisley because I've been following her on the interwebs for almost ten years now. I'm so excited to read this!
pre-publication review: I didn't know she and John had gotten married! The last I heard, they had just gotten back together because he changed his mind about having kids, and I was so happy for them because she was so sad when they broke up <3 <3 I feel like I know Lucy Knisley because I've been following her on the interwebs for almost ten years now. I'm so excited to read this!
March 19, 2019
I loved the beginning and end of this book, but got bogged down in the middle. I think this is as much do to my own interests as to the book's quality. I am not and never plan to be married, so the minutia of wedding planning was a bit repetitive and not for me. However! I loved the beginning which fills in the gap of Lucy and John's relationship which I knew I was missing after skipping from An Age of Licence directly to Kid Gloves. I was delighted by Lucy's thoughts on being a bisexual woman marrying a man, and how that can lead to an erasure of queer identity. I also enjoyed the last chunk of the book which details her wedding day itself. It made me more enthusiastic to attend weddings of my family and loved ones in the future. And the book is gorgeously drawn and colored, as is all her work.
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May 17, 2016Calling all Lucy Knisley fans! As we know from her past graphic memoirs and travelogues, the mysterious ex-boyfriend John is the one Lucy’s been pining after for so many years. Thankfully, John shows up big time in this new graphic novel as Lucy plans her wedding. Hooray! A sweet, heartfelt memoir of the ups and downs of planning a DIY wedding, complete with outdoor wedding tips (bring a pair of galoshes), gifts for the wedding party and guests (if only we had Lucy’s drawing ability), and the background story to how Lucy and John get together again (I’m a sucker for a happy ending). A deeply satisfying read; a perfect choice as wedding season begins.
– Karina Glaser
from The Best Books We Read In April: http://bookriot.com/2016/04/29/riot-r...
– Karina Glaser
from The Best Books We Read In April: http://bookriot.com/2016/04/29/riot-r...
June 16, 2016
Lucy Knisley is a great illustrator, that much has always been true, but her graphic novels are very hit or miss. When she's on--as with Displacement and Relish--she's one of the premiere graphic memoirists. When she's off--as with the Age of License and Something New--she can't separate the compelling story from her life experiences. I'm probably not the ideal audience for a bride's-eye-view of wedding planning, but that doesn't really exempt the work from being an incredible slog. It looks and feels like an incredible amount of work, but despite all the technical proficiency, the characters feel totally hollow. There's an aloofness that doesn't really play in a story about two people cementing their love. There is very little in the way of WHY these people are getting married, only that they are, and that despite wanting to eschew the huge, expensive wedding in favor of doing something more low key, they kowtow to their parents and do the wedding anyway. The biggest fault is that Knisley is trying to do too much (much like she does with her wedding!). The panels are loaded with visual metaphors ("Wedding planning is like a speeding train" with image of the couple hanging onto a speeding train, putting together a playlist for the wedding music is illustrated by the couple building a tower of blocks, a discussion about modern weddings pulling from a grab bag of traditional influences from around the world is illustrated by a literal grab bag, etc) that further detach the narrative from reality. The story is DENSE, too. Hence the aforementioned slog. It just keeps going on and on, over-indulgently delving into every little bit of minutiae without any sense of economy. All head, and not enough heart. It's all very twee and precious and at times feels straight from the pages of "Stuff White People Like." It's the same pitfall from the Age of License, where the author cannot escape the orbit of her privileged worldview. AND YET, I still can't write off Lucy Knisley and I'm excited to read the memoir she ultimately writes about pregnancy and childbirth.
January 5, 2016
I have enjoyed all of Lucy's graphic memoirs. In her latest Lucy chronicles the process of planning a wedding while working out her feelings about getting hitched. As one who didn't want to spend the big bucks for a wedding (this was 43 years ago!), I loved Lucy's DIY approach to keeping the costs down while making it a meaningful experience, and also keeping it a fun experience for her guests. Lucy's drawings are perfect and the included photos from the planning and wedding enhanced the visual experience. Fans of Lucy Knisley won't be disappointed and if readers cry at weddings (like I do), a tissue might be in order.
September 30, 2022
She's such a fun, thoughtful writer.
May 14, 2016
I am 10 days late at writing this review. This wonderful graphic novel was released on May 3rd, but I wanted to read it slowly and savor every moment. I want to thank Gina from First, Second Publishing for allowing me the opportunity to review this gorgeous new graphic novel. 5 stars!!
Lucy Knisley writes/illustrates comics, graphic novels...memoirs. I first read her Relish: My Life in the Kitchen back in March 2016 and fell in love with Lucy's story. Her life, her illustrations her wit. She is funny and human and I loved all the food. I realized after reading Relish and then French Milk, that Lucy really, really likes food. Which I can totally appreciate. I come from a family of Yummers! My grandma and her 3 siblings ate with a hearty German appetite. Every few years or so since they were in their twenties they got together for a "Yummers" photo them bent over rubbing their hands together...instead of saying "cheese" they'd say "Yum". So reading Lucy's tales of food growing up just made me appreciate mine even more. Especially since the Yummers are down to 2 from 4 :( .
In Something New: Tales from a Makeshift Bride you get a look at all the challenges in love of a mid-twenties college girl to a late twenties almost bride. How and when Lucy met John her husband and what all happened in between. It was definitely a fate kind of thing. The way they kept crossing paths and then just saying "F-it" I love you too much, let's get married.
I adore wedding shows and wedding stories. I get sappy and teary over the whole endeavour cause it's just so sweet. My personal wedding was $100 in a courthouse with my sister as the only witness and her wind up disposable camera. I will forever remember the wind wind click in the background while the guy marrying us made us repeat the vows. It was so silly, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Now....re-newing my vows is different and I wouldn't mind getting a little fancy with that. How to convince my husband is another story. Reading this graphic novel about Lucy's wedding planning and its fruition and then the wedding itself was just so fun.
If you like being that nosy body and reading about other people's lives I'd pick up this book. If you like getting real information about wedding planning, traditions and superstitions read this book. If you like beautifully drawn illustrations, funny dialogue and a down to earth real life story of a bride to be read this book.
Lucy Knisley writes/illustrates comics, graphic novels...memoirs. I first read her Relish: My Life in the Kitchen back in March 2016 and fell in love with Lucy's story. Her life, her illustrations her wit. She is funny and human and I loved all the food. I realized after reading Relish and then French Milk, that Lucy really, really likes food. Which I can totally appreciate. I come from a family of Yummers! My grandma and her 3 siblings ate with a hearty German appetite. Every few years or so since they were in their twenties they got together for a "Yummers" photo them bent over rubbing their hands together...instead of saying "cheese" they'd say "Yum". So reading Lucy's tales of food growing up just made me appreciate mine even more. Especially since the Yummers are down to 2 from 4 :( .
In Something New: Tales from a Makeshift Bride you get a look at all the challenges in love of a mid-twenties college girl to a late twenties almost bride. How and when Lucy met John her husband and what all happened in between. It was definitely a fate kind of thing. The way they kept crossing paths and then just saying "F-it" I love you too much, let's get married.
I adore wedding shows and wedding stories. I get sappy and teary over the whole endeavour cause it's just so sweet. My personal wedding was $100 in a courthouse with my sister as the only witness and her wind up disposable camera. I will forever remember the wind wind click in the background while the guy marrying us made us repeat the vows. It was so silly, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Now....re-newing my vows is different and I wouldn't mind getting a little fancy with that. How to convince my husband is another story. Reading this graphic novel about Lucy's wedding planning and its fruition and then the wedding itself was just so fun.
If you like being that nosy body and reading about other people's lives I'd pick up this book. If you like getting real information about wedding planning, traditions and superstitions read this book. If you like beautifully drawn illustrations, funny dialogue and a down to earth real life story of a bride to be read this book.
May 22, 2016
I had expected this book to offer a humorous, visual look at wedding traditions through the lens of one couple's wedding. It did do that to some extent, but I was left feeling a little unfulfilled by the story and a little unimpressed by the method of delivery. It reminded me a little of Fun Home, but whereas Fun Home is full of conflict and heart, and the drawings serve to enhance the story, this graphic memoir seemed somehow... unimportant.
I'm totally fine with reading something fun and light and fluffy about weddings, but my problem with this book comes with all its complaining and attempts at making important statements. I'm currently engaged. I think about weddings a lot, and I like to think I'm more of a nontraditional bride, choosing to keep certain traditional elements I like and disregard the antiquated ones I don't care for. No big deal. So I think my issue with this book is that it kept criticizing the rationale for weddings, the customs, and, most of all, the dreaded patriarchy . I don't get it; if she hates those things, why does she participate in them? No one seems to be forcing her, but she complains about it anyway. It's like Knisley can't deal with any aspect of the wedding process without focusing on how gosh darn hard it is to be a "raging queer feminist" (her words, p.144) and also want a wedding/kids.
I guess I'm surprised by how hard this whole thing seemed for her. I feel as if we live in a time where the American wedding tradition has already changed so much. Sites like Offbeat Bride encourage brides to turn their weddings into whatever they want, and in the communities I subscribe to, I see all kinds of weddings that defy convention. Non-diamond rings, no rings, black dresses, informal sundresses, pantsuits, city hall weddings, backyard weddings, <10-guest weddings, etc. In Knisley's place, it seemed like there really was no stress or conflict, but she chose to find it anyway. (For someone who seems so skeptical of the wedding tradition in general, she sure spent a lot of time in the book freaking out over making her own ties for the groomsmen because "the fabric had to match.") Honestly, in her position, the only thing I would have been stressed about would be announcing my sudden engagement to a man whom I wasn't dating, who had broken up with me years before.
Other than that, her life seems like a piece of cake. Or, in her case, lemon bars.
I'm totally fine with reading something fun and light and fluffy about weddings, but my problem with this book comes with all its complaining and attempts at making important statements. I'm currently engaged. I think about weddings a lot, and I like to think I'm more of a nontraditional bride, choosing to keep certain traditional elements I like and disregard the antiquated ones I don't care for. No big deal. So I think my issue with this book is that it kept criticizing the rationale for weddings, the customs, and, most of all, the dreaded patriarchy . I don't get it; if she hates those things, why does she participate in them? No one seems to be forcing her, but she complains about it anyway. It's like Knisley can't deal with any aspect of the wedding process without focusing on how gosh darn hard it is to be a "raging queer feminist" (her words, p.144) and also want a wedding/kids.
I guess I'm surprised by how hard this whole thing seemed for her. I feel as if we live in a time where the American wedding tradition has already changed so much. Sites like Offbeat Bride encourage brides to turn their weddings into whatever they want, and in the communities I subscribe to, I see all kinds of weddings that defy convention. Non-diamond rings, no rings, black dresses, informal sundresses, pantsuits, city hall weddings, backyard weddings, <10-guest weddings, etc. In Knisley's place, it seemed like there really was no stress or conflict, but she chose to find it anyway. (For someone who seems so skeptical of the wedding tradition in general, she sure spent a lot of time in the book freaking out over making her own ties for the groomsmen because "the fabric had to match.") Honestly, in her position, the only thing I would have been stressed about would be announcing my sudden engagement to a man whom I wasn't dating, who had broken up with me years before.
Other than that, her life seems like a piece of cake. Or, in her case, lemon bars.
July 6, 2016
4.0 Stars
This is another excellent graphic novel by Lucy Knisley, who has become one of my favourite authors. The full-colour illustrations are drawn in her classic, cartoony style which is always super cute. She also included photographs of her wedding at the end of the each chapter, which added a level of realness to her story. The writing was exactly what I have come to expect from Knisley: insightful and humorous. She was a somewhat reluctant bride and initially questioned the institution of traditional weddings. Once she comes comes to term with wedding planning, she proceeds to work through the wedding details, chapter by chapter. Some of the most interesting section included ways to save money and personalize their wedding through create DYI projects.
Personally, five years after my own wedding, I am no longer particularly interested in the wedding details such as venues and music. If I had read this book pre-wedding, I likely would have rated this story even higher. This graphic memoir would make a fantastic gift for an engagement party or a bridal shower.
This is another excellent graphic novel by Lucy Knisley, who has become one of my favourite authors. The full-colour illustrations are drawn in her classic, cartoony style which is always super cute. She also included photographs of her wedding at the end of the each chapter, which added a level of realness to her story. The writing was exactly what I have come to expect from Knisley: insightful and humorous. She was a somewhat reluctant bride and initially questioned the institution of traditional weddings. Once she comes comes to term with wedding planning, she proceeds to work through the wedding details, chapter by chapter. Some of the most interesting section included ways to save money and personalize their wedding through create DYI projects.
Personally, five years after my own wedding, I am no longer particularly interested in the wedding details such as venues and music. If I had read this book pre-wedding, I likely would have rated this story even higher. This graphic memoir would make a fantastic gift for an engagement party or a bridal shower.
January 9, 2018
This was maybe more than I needed to know about her particular wedding, but the drawings are super charming and her husband seems really nice?
July 4, 2017
This warmed my heart and made me oh-so happy.
February 12, 2017
3.5
Let me first start by stating that I do not think that getting married means you've won the golden ring, or that you needed to be be coupled in any manner to be worthy of respect or value. I do personally know women who had a crisis because they were not married by thirty, and dang it, but forty was the absolute latest this sorry state would be allowed to continue until something drastic would be done. Not my jam, but to each their own.
This graphic memoir explores the trails, tribulations, expectations, stereotypes, and joys of being a bride and deciding to have a DIY wedding. The author has clearly matured in her storytelling skills, and in this book dives more deeply into the themes explored. However, she still seems to shy away from taking deep dives, which leaves me, the reader, wanting more. I have to keep reminding myself that she is brave for putting as much of herself out there as she's currently comfortable doing. There are humorous and poignant moments in this story, and I appreciated her resistance to many of the cultural/religious/societal/capitalist norms, but it's her day, and she can have it any way she dang well chooses. The illustrations are typical of her signature style, and are colorful and cute.
At 300 pages this is a long time to spend with the author and her wedding planning, yet I do think that she bucks the mainstream commercialism surrounding weddings and for that I'll round up my rating.
Let me first start by stating that I do not think that getting married means you've won the golden ring, or that you needed to be be coupled in any manner to be worthy of respect or value. I do personally know women who had a crisis because they were not married by thirty, and dang it, but forty was the absolute latest this sorry state would be allowed to continue until something drastic would be done. Not my jam, but to each their own.
This graphic memoir explores the trails, tribulations, expectations, stereotypes, and joys of being a bride and deciding to have a DIY wedding. The author has clearly matured in her storytelling skills, and in this book dives more deeply into the themes explored. However, she still seems to shy away from taking deep dives, which leaves me, the reader, wanting more. I have to keep reminding myself that she is brave for putting as much of herself out there as she's currently comfortable doing. There are humorous and poignant moments in this story, and I appreciated her resistance to many of the cultural/religious/societal/capitalist norms, but it's her day, and she can have it any way she dang well chooses. The illustrations are typical of her signature style, and are colorful and cute.
At 300 pages this is a long time to spend with the author and her wedding planning, yet I do think that she bucks the mainstream commercialism surrounding weddings and for that I'll round up my rating.
March 17, 2016
I received an ARC of this from NetGalley
I am a HUGE fan of Lucy's work and was so excited to get a copy of this! It did not disappoint and I think it might be my favorite book of hers.
I am a HUGE fan of Lucy's work and was so excited to get a copy of this! It did not disappoint and I think it might be my favorite book of hers.
August 12, 2019
I meant to read this a few years ago, and never got around to it. I'm actually glad I didn't get around to it then, because now was probably a better time to read it. It was more relevant to me now than it would have been then. A co-worker actually recommended it to me recently, which is what prompted me to actually bring it home and read it, and I'm grateful to her for the recommendation.
Knisley's perspective about her relationship and planning her wedding is refreshing and honest. The way she addresses the balance that she and her fiancee needed to find between planning something that represented them and also feeling pressure from others to plan their wedding a certain way was spot on. I actually applaud her and John for being able to keep their own wedding so original and specific to them, because planning this HUGE party that represents and is about YOU but that you also want to make the other people in your life happy is no easy feat.
I think some of my favorite moments were the ones when Knisley would take a step back and remind herself that all of this chaos was because she and John loved each other. And she was just lucky to have him, and be able to plan this big event with him. That hit especially close to home for me, as I plan my second wedding (a thing I never thought I'd be doing...). Because this time around for me in particular, it's not about the spectacle of the wedding itself, it's about getting to start a life with this man that I love and am so lucky to have found.
Knisley also spends a fair amount of time talking about the research she had done to understand where so many of our common wedding traditions (wearing white, spending the night before the wedding apart, the whole old-new-borrowed-blue thing, etc.) come from, as well as the research she had done to find some other wedding traditions in other cultures. It was eye-opening to see where some of these things originated, and to think about how so few of us actually seem to question them -- in fact, are often just pressured to continue on with them blindly. I really loved the thought that Knisley put into understanding the traditions, and then creating a wedding that was meaningful to her and her husband-to-be.
She also talks about the ways that brides-to-be in particular are inundated with ads that tell them they need to do this or try that to be as beautiful and skinny as possible for their wedding day. Future husbands receive none of those targeted ads to lose weight or try a miracle face cream. I appreciated that she tackled this in particular - and LOVED that she pointed out that wedding magazines are almost ENTIRELY ads! That is still a thing that boggles my mind, and that I feel like no one ever talks about the absurdity of. I need practical advice for crying out loud!
This was a great book for me at this exact moment in my life. I really admire Knisley as a bride/writer/person, and I enjoyed getting to know her and John throughout the course of the book. I even left with a few tips and ideas for my own impending wedding.
Knisley's perspective about her relationship and planning her wedding is refreshing and honest. The way she addresses the balance that she and her fiancee needed to find between planning something that represented them and also feeling pressure from others to plan their wedding a certain way was spot on. I actually applaud her and John for being able to keep their own wedding so original and specific to them, because planning this HUGE party that represents and is about YOU but that you also want to make the other people in your life happy is no easy feat.
I think some of my favorite moments were the ones when Knisley would take a step back and remind herself that all of this chaos was because she and John loved each other. And she was just lucky to have him, and be able to plan this big event with him. That hit especially close to home for me, as I plan my second wedding (a thing I never thought I'd be doing...). Because this time around for me in particular, it's not about the spectacle of the wedding itself, it's about getting to start a life with this man that I love and am so lucky to have found.
Knisley also spends a fair amount of time talking about the research she had done to understand where so many of our common wedding traditions (wearing white, spending the night before the wedding apart, the whole old-new-borrowed-blue thing, etc.) come from, as well as the research she had done to find some other wedding traditions in other cultures. It was eye-opening to see where some of these things originated, and to think about how so few of us actually seem to question them -- in fact, are often just pressured to continue on with them blindly. I really loved the thought that Knisley put into understanding the traditions, and then creating a wedding that was meaningful to her and her husband-to-be.
She also talks about the ways that brides-to-be in particular are inundated with ads that tell them they need to do this or try that to be as beautiful and skinny as possible for their wedding day. Future husbands receive none of those targeted ads to lose weight or try a miracle face cream. I appreciated that she tackled this in particular - and LOVED that she pointed out that wedding magazines are almost ENTIRELY ads! That is still a thing that boggles my mind, and that I feel like no one ever talks about the absurdity of. I need practical advice for crying out loud!
This was a great book for me at this exact moment in my life. I really admire Knisley as a bride/writer/person, and I enjoyed getting to know her and John throughout the course of the book. I even left with a few tips and ideas for my own impending wedding.
July 5, 2016
I liked the first half of this quite a bit. Then...it kind of turns into advice on how to do a wedding. With drawings. Good drawings, but they're kind of drawings of pins from Pinterest, to be a jerk about it.
I liked the parts early on, about her life and relationship, but when we got down to hardcore wedding planning, this almost felt like wedding-in-a-box, how to re-create this particular wedding, and the story kind of up and left.
Also, there are a lot of parts in these between-chapter sections that get repeated later in the book. Stuff about certain weird traditions. Or there's a part where she describes how she made ties for groomsmen, which includes a little text that says something like "Don't do this. Just buy ties." And then, a few pages later, the characters discuss how they made their wedding cheaper, and one of the things is making ties. Well, which one is it? Do we make the ties or not?
It felt, in the second half, less tight. Less interesting. It really, really turned into an album and a how-to, and I didn't love that part the way I enjoyed the parts that were about her relationship. I think these parts just didn't work for me, so much. I have to say that I felt like I was part of the audience for the first half, but I should have excused myself from the book somewhere in the middle. Maybe it's a better fit for people who have planned a wedding or are planning a wedding or have thought about it, at least in the abstract. People who aren't me, to make it brief.
Also, one of the big problems in her relationship earlier on was that she really wanted to have children, and her boyfriend didn't. And he kind of talked her out of it, or said rational things that made her sort of talk herself out of it, I don't know, it was confusing. Not in a bad way. I think the author herself would say she was confused by what she wanted and how that differed from what her partner wanted. But then they get married, and it's like that issue was just sort of...resolved.
It's a weird thing to me because, hey, if you don't want to talk about a personal issue in your book, that's cool, but then I think you can just leave it out of your memoir entirely. If you do want to talk about it, that's awesome, but I think I want to hear the resolution. Because it's not like a thing of picking colors for a wedding. If they fought about that and then everything was blue, I'd be like, "Oh, I guess they settled on blue." Getting married when the partners disagree on having kids, that's a big deal. And how they overcome, skirt, ignore, whatever the issue, was something I was really interested in. But it just wasn't there. Unless I missed something.
Everyone's got the right to include what they want in their memoir. It's their right as a creator. I think it's also my right as a reader to be disappointed that a big issue, which caused a lot of distance early on, isn't resolved. This wasn't like a throwaway or something. It changes the whole course of the relationship. And then it's just like, Whatever.
I'll be honest, I was also a bit chapped whenever it came up that the patriarchy wants weddings and brides to be this or that way.
There are traditions with weddings that seem patriarchal to me. Ask anyone I've been to a wedding with, they'll tell you my feelings on the daddy/daughter dance (summary: gross. Or sexy. Depends on how open that open bar has been up to that point and how deeply sad I'm feeling). I don't think the dad really has to give the daughter away. I also usually find the religious readings to be pretty off-putting. I feel like you have to work pretty hard and maybe do a little creative editing to get a 3-minute readaloud of a super old book that doesn't include smiting OR something about subservience. Shit, it's hard to read Huckleberry Finn without hitting an N-word, which is just about the worst thing you're going to hear anymore. And that book is like, I don't know, HUNDREDS of years newer than the Bible. Good luck with that.
As far as the patriarchy ruling the realm of weddings, I'm kinda unconvinced.
Let me say, my ring of choice, for me, is cheapass silicone, and for $60 bucks I could get 10 of them, which is perfect because I can guarantee you I won't be able to hang onto a ring for 40 years, which is hopefully how long a marriage would last for me. When I'm in my 70's, marriage is off, by the way. That's when I could go at any time, and it's time for a fuck spiral that ends in the grave (I'm sure my partner would feel the same, but we're still in the honeymoon phase, so phrases like "fuck spiral to the grave" still have a bubbly, romance-y quality to them).
I guess I feel like there is pressure for brides to be thinner than they are normally, prettier, dressed a certain way, that everything goes right at the wedding, and to sport some expensive jewelry and throw a garter out into the crowd and all that business.
I'm struggling to say this, so fuck it, I'm just going to say it: I think these traditions, in 2016, are choices perpetuated by women. I'm NOT talking about relationship choices, not dating choices, I'm talking about wedding choices.
I don't see men reading bridal magazines. I don't see a lot of Pinterest wedding boards made by men. I think centerpieces are silly and suspect most men agree. I don't think grooms have a ton of concern for the hairstyle of choice the bride sports. I don't know a groom who told his bride a target weight for wedding day. In fact, I think that idea is fucking crazy. Sure, I want my body to be pretty cut on my wedding day. I WILL be getting married in a TuxSpeedo, after all. It's only fair to the guests who came so far to get the very best.
But my bride, whatever. I don't think I would marry someone and expect them to look totally different when we got married. I didn't want to marry this person but, you know, a couple notches more fancy and made-up and thin. I wanted to marry this person I wanted to marry.
If there's a patriarchal thing going on with weddings today, I don't think it's anything to do with rings and dresses and dollars. I think the patriarchal thing is that men feel like they don't have to be involved. It's not an expectation.
I guess that we're really straying outside the territory of the book, so here's what I want to end on.
I agree that a lot of weird wedding shit started with patriarchy, began as that. But where we differ is in who's perpetuating it. But hey, this is opinion, and I didn't rate the book poorly because of this difference in opinion. I rated this book poorly because I felt like it was half a book I enjoyed, half a book that has a specific audience of which I'm not a part.
And for the record, if someone tells you to spend a certain amount on a ring or tells you to weigh a certain amount, you're marrying a monster.
And if they tell you No TuxSpeedo, you're marrying a true monster, one who feeds on the lack of fun being had at a party.
I liked the parts early on, about her life and relationship, but when we got down to hardcore wedding planning, this almost felt like wedding-in-a-box, how to re-create this particular wedding, and the story kind of up and left.
Also, there are a lot of parts in these between-chapter sections that get repeated later in the book. Stuff about certain weird traditions. Or there's a part where she describes how she made ties for groomsmen, which includes a little text that says something like "Don't do this. Just buy ties." And then, a few pages later, the characters discuss how they made their wedding cheaper, and one of the things is making ties. Well, which one is it? Do we make the ties or not?
It felt, in the second half, less tight. Less interesting. It really, really turned into an album and a how-to, and I didn't love that part the way I enjoyed the parts that were about her relationship. I think these parts just didn't work for me, so much. I have to say that I felt like I was part of the audience for the first half, but I should have excused myself from the book somewhere in the middle. Maybe it's a better fit for people who have planned a wedding or are planning a wedding or have thought about it, at least in the abstract. People who aren't me, to make it brief.
Also, one of the big problems in her relationship earlier on was that she really wanted to have children, and her boyfriend didn't. And he kind of talked her out of it, or said rational things that made her sort of talk herself out of it, I don't know, it was confusing. Not in a bad way. I think the author herself would say she was confused by what she wanted and how that differed from what her partner wanted. But then they get married, and it's like that issue was just sort of...resolved.
It's a weird thing to me because, hey, if you don't want to talk about a personal issue in your book, that's cool, but then I think you can just leave it out of your memoir entirely. If you do want to talk about it, that's awesome, but I think I want to hear the resolution. Because it's not like a thing of picking colors for a wedding. If they fought about that and then everything was blue, I'd be like, "Oh, I guess they settled on blue." Getting married when the partners disagree on having kids, that's a big deal. And how they overcome, skirt, ignore, whatever the issue, was something I was really interested in. But it just wasn't there. Unless I missed something.
Everyone's got the right to include what they want in their memoir. It's their right as a creator. I think it's also my right as a reader to be disappointed that a big issue, which caused a lot of distance early on, isn't resolved. This wasn't like a throwaway or something. It changes the whole course of the relationship. And then it's just like, Whatever.
I'll be honest, I was also a bit chapped whenever it came up that the patriarchy wants weddings and brides to be this or that way.
There are traditions with weddings that seem patriarchal to me. Ask anyone I've been to a wedding with, they'll tell you my feelings on the daddy/daughter dance (summary: gross. Or sexy. Depends on how open that open bar has been up to that point and how deeply sad I'm feeling). I don't think the dad really has to give the daughter away. I also usually find the religious readings to be pretty off-putting. I feel like you have to work pretty hard and maybe do a little creative editing to get a 3-minute readaloud of a super old book that doesn't include smiting OR something about subservience. Shit, it's hard to read Huckleberry Finn without hitting an N-word, which is just about the worst thing you're going to hear anymore. And that book is like, I don't know, HUNDREDS of years newer than the Bible. Good luck with that.
As far as the patriarchy ruling the realm of weddings, I'm kinda unconvinced.
Let me say, my ring of choice, for me, is cheapass silicone, and for $60 bucks I could get 10 of them, which is perfect because I can guarantee you I won't be able to hang onto a ring for 40 years, which is hopefully how long a marriage would last for me. When I'm in my 70's, marriage is off, by the way. That's when I could go at any time, and it's time for a fuck spiral that ends in the grave (I'm sure my partner would feel the same, but we're still in the honeymoon phase, so phrases like "fuck spiral to the grave" still have a bubbly, romance-y quality to them).
I guess I feel like there is pressure for brides to be thinner than they are normally, prettier, dressed a certain way, that everything goes right at the wedding, and to sport some expensive jewelry and throw a garter out into the crowd and all that business.
I'm struggling to say this, so fuck it, I'm just going to say it: I think these traditions, in 2016, are choices perpetuated by women. I'm NOT talking about relationship choices, not dating choices, I'm talking about wedding choices.
I don't see men reading bridal magazines. I don't see a lot of Pinterest wedding boards made by men. I think centerpieces are silly and suspect most men agree. I don't think grooms have a ton of concern for the hairstyle of choice the bride sports. I don't know a groom who told his bride a target weight for wedding day. In fact, I think that idea is fucking crazy. Sure, I want my body to be pretty cut on my wedding day. I WILL be getting married in a TuxSpeedo, after all. It's only fair to the guests who came so far to get the very best.
But my bride, whatever. I don't think I would marry someone and expect them to look totally different when we got married. I didn't want to marry this person but, you know, a couple notches more fancy and made-up and thin. I wanted to marry this person I wanted to marry.
If there's a patriarchal thing going on with weddings today, I don't think it's anything to do with rings and dresses and dollars. I think the patriarchal thing is that men feel like they don't have to be involved. It's not an expectation.
I guess that we're really straying outside the territory of the book, so here's what I want to end on.
I agree that a lot of weird wedding shit started with patriarchy, began as that. But where we differ is in who's perpetuating it. But hey, this is opinion, and I didn't rate the book poorly because of this difference in opinion. I rated this book poorly because I felt like it was half a book I enjoyed, half a book that has a specific audience of which I'm not a part.
And for the record, if someone tells you to spend a certain amount on a ring or tells you to weigh a certain amount, you're marrying a monster.
And if they tell you No TuxSpeedo, you're marrying a true monster, one who feeds on the lack of fun being had at a party.
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