I'm used to reading paranormal romance, so when I picked up Falcon Moon by Cassie Edwards, I wasn't expecting much in way of story, characterization, and writing. To be fair, I wanted to read a straight forward romance novel because I've thought about writing some of my own. However, if Falcon Moon is any indication of how easy it is to write romance, as well as publish it, then I'd rather stick to writing horror and alternative-history.
Cassie Edwards writes simply enough. There are no complex words or overly complex sentences, yet there are several run on sentences throughout the entire book. An entire paragraph can be made up of one sentence, and often I had to stop and read that sentence/paragraph out loud just to understand it. Edwards writes in a passive tense, so it's hard to get into the action and minds of her characters. Is the action happening now? Or did it happen then?
In writing, it's easy to throw in a lot of fluff words. The novel could be considerably shorter if the over abundance of "that" and "As you know..." were removed. Also, Edwards seems to have a fondness for exclamation points and ellipses, especially at inappropriate times.
Her generalizations of characters is laughable. Hardly ever was General Zamora, a minor antagonist, referred to as simply "the general," but instead became "the evil Mexican general" or "the Mexican general." After a few dozen times, the distinction of General Zamora's race should be ingrained into the reader's brain. To compliment this tacky abuse, Cassie Edwards seems to reiterate the fact that Falcon Moon is an Apache chief every chance she got. Wylena, Falcon Moon's paramour, is described as being sweet, and possessing nothing but "sweetness." Such lack-luster adjectives make reading tedious, and does little to truly characterize (or humanize) her main cast of characters. Even the Apache's camp--a "stronghold"--seemed to invoke images of a castle in my mind rather than a community of tents/dwellings. The generals' fort was only described as a fortress, again provoking images of an era long before this story takes place.
Often throughout, things are repeated by the characters just before or after Edwards has described the event. Several times in one chapter is enough to make your eyes roll at the hilarity.
Dialogue is sub-par, and too proper to be believable. Even Falcon Moon speaks as though schooled in a far away boarding school, where "don't" is a sin and "do not" is next to godliness. It would have been refreshing to see snippets of Spanish used by General Zamora and his cronies, or bits of Apache tossed in to breath life into a tribe so poorly represented in this book.
The plot is simple, and held no major twists. In fact, I'm not even sure there was one. Wylena is the stereo-typical maiden-in-distress who develops an affection for her captor, and in turn, he falls for her. Joshua, Wylena's holy, and sinless brother, is supposed to be the voice of reason, yet fails when Wylena and Falcon Moon ride of into the sunset on his very white stallion. (Cliche, anyone?) Jeb, Wylena's other brother (Joshua's twin), seduces Falcon Moon's sister yet sneaks around the countryside accused of being a scalp hunter. Where and why he decided to keep Falcon Moon's sister unharmed, makes no sense to me. It would have been more satisfying to me if Joshua had turned out to be the scalp hunter and Jeb the innocent. But even that fails, and the story comes to a disappointing close.
Perhaps the only well developed character is Bull Nose, though even he seems flat. After having been embarrassed by Falcon Moon, he sets his sights on bringing his chief down any way he can. This plan develops and Bull Nose takes it upon himself to steal and abuse helpless Wylena, even going so far as to scare her with tarantulas. Scared of spiders or not, a knife would have been more effective in my opinion. Wylena is so absurdly afraid of spiders that she is easily captured not once, but twice, by Bull Nose. Unfortunately for Bull Nose, things spiral out of control and he soon finds himself on his way to the "Happy Place."
I can't recommend this book for its thrilling reading, but I can recommend it for a bit of light reading and good laugh. The entire book is summed up on page 303, and is the best description of how laughable Cassie Edward's Falcon Moon really is: "Although most white people were hated with a passion for interfering in the lives of these wonderful people, she [Wylena] was magically being accepted, as her brother Joshua had been treated kindly by them [the Apache]."
Too bad it's all magic and stereo-types in Falcon Moon.