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12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid: Leading Your Kids to Succeed in Life
You’re deeply committed to helping your kids succeed. But you’re concerned—why are so many graduates unprepared to enter the workforce and face life on their own? You’re doing your best to raise healthy children, but sometimes you wonder, am I really helping them? Tim Elmore shows you how to avoid twelve critical mistakes parents unintentionally make. He outlines practical and effective parenting skills so you won’t fall into common traps, such as… Find out why thousands of organizations have sought out Tim Elmore to help them develop young leaders—and how you can improve your parenting skills and help your kids soar.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2014
42 people are currently reading
373 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
January 31, 2020
The title of this book is not great, but don’t let that dissuade you from this gem! It’s has literally changed my parenting. Elmore is continually cautioning parents to play the “long game” in their parenting tactics. Keeping an eye on your end goal is what will educate your daily parenting decisions and set your kids up for success in the real world one day.
October 6, 2014
ARC generously provided by publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
This has some very useful information especially dealing with parenting children of the i gen. The title leads you to believe this will be a book with a cut and dry list of 12 don'ts while parenting. However, that is not the case. This book is filled with all types of information to help while raising children in todays time and most of it will hit home and make you think. This is a Christian based book which I really enjoyed the references, however it may be a turn of to some. However, as I said I found it to be very helpful.
The book is broken down by the 12 main mistakes parents make and how to fix them. Overparenting is the main theme of the mistakes. I have to say that I agreed with the author on all the points especially the ones dealing with children not being able to fail or learning to live with the consequences of their actions. It believe that the children being raised today don't know how to problem solve because they have always had their problems fixed for them by their parents.
I found all of the information to be very helpful and informative.
This has some very useful information especially dealing with parenting children of the i gen. The title leads you to believe this will be a book with a cut and dry list of 12 don'ts while parenting. However, that is not the case. This book is filled with all types of information to help while raising children in todays time and most of it will hit home and make you think. This is a Christian based book which I really enjoyed the references, however it may be a turn of to some. However, as I said I found it to be very helpful.
The book is broken down by the 12 main mistakes parents make and how to fix them. Overparenting is the main theme of the mistakes. I have to say that I agreed with the author on all the points especially the ones dealing with children not being able to fail or learning to live with the consequences of their actions. It believe that the children being raised today don't know how to problem solve because they have always had their problems fixed for them by their parents.
I found all of the information to be very helpful and informative.
November 7, 2017
Some summaries and notes from the book:
Elmore describes 12 mistakes that parents typically make. 1. we won't let them fail. 2. we project our lives on them. 3. we prioritize their happiness 4. we are inconsistent. 5. we remove the consequences. 6. we lie about their potential and don't explore their true potential. 7. we won't let them struggle or fight. 8. we give them what they should earn instead. 9. we praise the wrong things. 10. we value removing all pain. 11. we do it for them. 12. we prepare the path for the child instead of the child for the path.
In Chapter 2 it talks about that parents must help their kids find their interests, strengths, burdens, expertise, and influence. The most interesting one is "their burdens" which means what moves them with empathy and compassion. Influence is also interesting because it is talking about where the kids exercise the most influence with other people.
The book also talks about one of the most effective ways of aligning their identity with their activity is to help them tell an interesting story. If the story and their family or at home is not interesting, they will go out and find one that is more interesting. One of the things you can work with is to continually tell stories about yourself and your family. For example one of the games they share is called "did you know". In this game you talk about stories about your family that they might not have heard. For example how your grandparents met, interesting things about aunts and uncles they might not know, how you got your first job, how Mom and Dad got engaged, and of course stories of failure and missteps along the way.
He describes how we must communicate two sets of messages to kids during the first two decades of their lives. The childhood messages are: you are loved, you are unique, you have gifts, you are safe, you are valuable. The Adolescent messages are: life is difficult, you are not in control, you are not that important, you are going to die, your life is not about you.
He describes how we should have fewer rules and more equations in our family. It just means that if anyone does this, then that will happen. So in general you only need three or four rules for your family but you communicate many equations. When kids are making decisions, you should create fair agreements, including the outcomes of keeping agreements or failing to do so. When the child makes a choice, you sit down and debrief the action the outcome (and let them make the judgment whether they want it to happen again or not).
It helps to expose your children to people who help them discover their strengths. It can also be useful to provide a right passage experience for them at the proper age. Some parents encourage their kids to take a gap year after they finish High School. These all things that will help them develop an identity and allow them to pursue their passion with perseverance.
He describes the audiovox Car Connection, a cigarette lighter size device you plug into the on board diagnostics port in a vehicle. The Car Connection can do a number of things, like when to tell you to rotate your tires or change your oil. It can also tell you whether the driver is traveling too fast or braking too hard. You can also use it to block texting and talking from the phone for the driver. It has GPS location tracking that pings a satellite every 5 minutes and displays its location on the web.
He repeatedly describes the importance of children having age appropriate jobs as they grow up. For example, one parent made up a flyer to be passed around the neighborhood. It let people know that he and his kids were available to mow lawns, rake leaves, trim hedges, clean up, and paint. His kids placed flyers on their neighbor's front doors. The children learned a lot about responsibility, working for different bosses, and earned some money besides.
Here are some tips he provides to lead kids into responsible maturity. One. Praise them for effort, not for their intelligence Beauty. Too. Reward character virtues such as honesty more than performance early on. 3. Teach them to enjoy the process as much as the product. 4. Make sure the size and content of your praise matches their effort. V. Be sure your affirmation is sincere, thoughtful, and genuine. Six. Empower them by helping them own a personal set of values to live by. 7. Identify an affirm unique features that differentiate your kids. 8. Provide experiences for them to discover and build their primary strengths. 9. Furnish a platform for them to serve others using their strengths and Gifts. 10. Tell them you enjoy watching them perform regardless of the outcome. 11. The younger they are the more immediate your feedback for them must be. 12. Equip them to take risks and learn that failure is okay as long as they tried. 13. Build a secure home for them but one that does not revolve around them. 14. When in doubt, always praise was in their control. 15. Clarify your unconditional love for them regardless of their performance.
He explains that is important how we choose to help our children. Instead of doing something for them, he describes the easy path. E equals encourage them first (to keep trying). A equals ask questions next (help them understand the problem). S equals simulate a problem (walk them through a similar problem and let them apply the skill to the new one). Y equals yolk than with a peer (put them with a peer who understands the problem better than them).
Is important to lead our children instead of doing things for them. 1. Don't think control, think connect 2. Don't think inform, think interpret (teach them how to interpret information) 3. Don't think entertain, think equip 4.Don't think do it for them, thank help them do it 5. Don't think impose, thank expose (make the opportunity enticing enough for them to choose it) 6. Don't think prescriptive think descriptive (let them figure out how they are going to meet general goals, don't outline the steps for them). 7. Don't think protect, think prepare 8. Don't think tell, think ask 9. Don't think cool, think real (be authentic with them). 10. Don't think lecture, think Lab
Elmore describes 12 mistakes that parents typically make. 1. we won't let them fail. 2. we project our lives on them. 3. we prioritize their happiness 4. we are inconsistent. 5. we remove the consequences. 6. we lie about their potential and don't explore their true potential. 7. we won't let them struggle or fight. 8. we give them what they should earn instead. 9. we praise the wrong things. 10. we value removing all pain. 11. we do it for them. 12. we prepare the path for the child instead of the child for the path.
In Chapter 2 it talks about that parents must help their kids find their interests, strengths, burdens, expertise, and influence. The most interesting one is "their burdens" which means what moves them with empathy and compassion. Influence is also interesting because it is talking about where the kids exercise the most influence with other people.
The book also talks about one of the most effective ways of aligning their identity with their activity is to help them tell an interesting story. If the story and their family or at home is not interesting, they will go out and find one that is more interesting. One of the things you can work with is to continually tell stories about yourself and your family. For example one of the games they share is called "did you know". In this game you talk about stories about your family that they might not have heard. For example how your grandparents met, interesting things about aunts and uncles they might not know, how you got your first job, how Mom and Dad got engaged, and of course stories of failure and missteps along the way.
He describes how we must communicate two sets of messages to kids during the first two decades of their lives. The childhood messages are: you are loved, you are unique, you have gifts, you are safe, you are valuable. The Adolescent messages are: life is difficult, you are not in control, you are not that important, you are going to die, your life is not about you.
He describes how we should have fewer rules and more equations in our family. It just means that if anyone does this, then that will happen. So in general you only need three or four rules for your family but you communicate many equations. When kids are making decisions, you should create fair agreements, including the outcomes of keeping agreements or failing to do so. When the child makes a choice, you sit down and debrief the action the outcome (and let them make the judgment whether they want it to happen again or not).
It helps to expose your children to people who help them discover their strengths. It can also be useful to provide a right passage experience for them at the proper age. Some parents encourage their kids to take a gap year after they finish High School. These all things that will help them develop an identity and allow them to pursue their passion with perseverance.
He describes the audiovox Car Connection, a cigarette lighter size device you plug into the on board diagnostics port in a vehicle. The Car Connection can do a number of things, like when to tell you to rotate your tires or change your oil. It can also tell you whether the driver is traveling too fast or braking too hard. You can also use it to block texting and talking from the phone for the driver. It has GPS location tracking that pings a satellite every 5 minutes and displays its location on the web.
He repeatedly describes the importance of children having age appropriate jobs as they grow up. For example, one parent made up a flyer to be passed around the neighborhood. It let people know that he and his kids were available to mow lawns, rake leaves, trim hedges, clean up, and paint. His kids placed flyers on their neighbor's front doors. The children learned a lot about responsibility, working for different bosses, and earned some money besides.
Here are some tips he provides to lead kids into responsible maturity. One. Praise them for effort, not for their intelligence Beauty. Too. Reward character virtues such as honesty more than performance early on. 3. Teach them to enjoy the process as much as the product. 4. Make sure the size and content of your praise matches their effort. V. Be sure your affirmation is sincere, thoughtful, and genuine. Six. Empower them by helping them own a personal set of values to live by. 7. Identify an affirm unique features that differentiate your kids. 8. Provide experiences for them to discover and build their primary strengths. 9. Furnish a platform for them to serve others using their strengths and Gifts. 10. Tell them you enjoy watching them perform regardless of the outcome. 11. The younger they are the more immediate your feedback for them must be. 12. Equip them to take risks and learn that failure is okay as long as they tried. 13. Build a secure home for them but one that does not revolve around them. 14. When in doubt, always praise was in their control. 15. Clarify your unconditional love for them regardless of their performance.
He explains that is important how we choose to help our children. Instead of doing something for them, he describes the easy path. E equals encourage them first (to keep trying). A equals ask questions next (help them understand the problem). S equals simulate a problem (walk them through a similar problem and let them apply the skill to the new one). Y equals yolk than with a peer (put them with a peer who understands the problem better than them).
Is important to lead our children instead of doing things for them. 1. Don't think control, think connect 2. Don't think inform, think interpret (teach them how to interpret information) 3. Don't think entertain, think equip 4.Don't think do it for them, thank help them do it 5. Don't think impose, thank expose (make the opportunity enticing enough for them to choose it) 6. Don't think prescriptive think descriptive (let them figure out how they are going to meet general goals, don't outline the steps for them). 7. Don't think protect, think prepare 8. Don't think tell, think ask 9. Don't think cool, think real (be authentic with them). 10. Don't think lecture, think Lab
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 12, 2019
Awesome, awesome book. So many good parts in the book that I think this should be mandatory reading for all patents. Besides being a book with traditional advice on raising kids it puts it a modern context. it is a changing world and in many ways a half changed world, we have to acknowledge that fact. We cant raise our kids the same way our parents raised us because that world no longer exists. Embrace the world they live and the world they are entering and prepare them.
Biggest take aways
- The game you are in is to raise self functional adults. Not to make them happy or make them love you. Raise adults that wont need you.
-Do cool shit to motivate them. You can tell them all you what but we get inspired and motivated by seeing other do it. You record a podcast, you build that drone. Seeing you do it will push them to want to be part of your journey.
1 - Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults.
2- They don’t need us for information, but for interpretation
3- This is the most connected generation in history—but perhaps the one that has experienced the least community.
4-As parents, we’ve given them lots of possessions but not much perspective. • As educators, we’ve given them plenty of schools but not plenty of skills. • As coaches, we’ve taught them how to win games but not how to win in life. • As youth workers, we provide lots of explanations but not enough experiences. • As employers, we’ve mentored them in profit and loss but haven’t shown them how to profit from loss.
5-We teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are.
6-As they age, your role will change from supervisor to consultant.
7-Models. We must model a lifestyle we hope our children want to embrace. No words can replace an example. We can’t expect kids to live by standards we have not adopted. And if it doesn’t work at home, we have no right to export it.
8-This is why I often tell kids that it doesn’t matter if they start at the bottom of the career ladder as long as they’re on the right ladder.
9- Author Malcolm Gladwell, in his speech “American Obsession with Precociousness,” pointed out that few childhood prodigies ever become successful. That’s because there’s a huge difference between talent and the application of talent
10-The answer is simple: Our culture doesn’t want people with willpower. As Seth Godin writes in Stop Stealing Dreams, “Industrialists don’t need employees with willpower, and marketers loathe consumers who have it.
11- The truth is, kids can do more than we could ever imagine. We often don’t see it because we just haven’t led them well. The key is to harness their imagination and willpower.
12-Smart says that resourcefulness is the new metacompetency as employees enter the workforce. Think about it. Information is ubiquitous, so we no longer need people who know a lot. Information is readily available. You can search and find answers to almost any problem if you know where to look. That’s why the virtue of resourcefulness is now the most important skill to build and find. I’m talking about people who know how to find answers, ones who can identify and solve problems because they can find solutions far beyond our current practice.
Biggest take aways
- The game you are in is to raise self functional adults. Not to make them happy or make them love you. Raise adults that wont need you.
-Do cool shit to motivate them. You can tell them all you what but we get inspired and motivated by seeing other do it. You record a podcast, you build that drone. Seeing you do it will push them to want to be part of your journey.
1 - Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults.
2- They don’t need us for information, but for interpretation
3- This is the most connected generation in history—but perhaps the one that has experienced the least community.
4-As parents, we’ve given them lots of possessions but not much perspective. • As educators, we’ve given them plenty of schools but not plenty of skills. • As coaches, we’ve taught them how to win games but not how to win in life. • As youth workers, we provide lots of explanations but not enough experiences. • As employers, we’ve mentored them in profit and loss but haven’t shown them how to profit from loss.
5-We teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are.
6-As they age, your role will change from supervisor to consultant.
7-Models. We must model a lifestyle we hope our children want to embrace. No words can replace an example. We can’t expect kids to live by standards we have not adopted. And if it doesn’t work at home, we have no right to export it.
8-This is why I often tell kids that it doesn’t matter if they start at the bottom of the career ladder as long as they’re on the right ladder.
9- Author Malcolm Gladwell, in his speech “American Obsession with Precociousness,” pointed out that few childhood prodigies ever become successful. That’s because there’s a huge difference between talent and the application of talent
10-The answer is simple: Our culture doesn’t want people with willpower. As Seth Godin writes in Stop Stealing Dreams, “Industrialists don’t need employees with willpower, and marketers loathe consumers who have it.
11- The truth is, kids can do more than we could ever imagine. We often don’t see it because we just haven’t led them well. The key is to harness their imagination and willpower.
12-Smart says that resourcefulness is the new metacompetency as employees enter the workforce. Think about it. Information is ubiquitous, so we no longer need people who know a lot. Information is readily available. You can search and find answers to almost any problem if you know where to look. That’s why the virtue of resourcefulness is now the most important skill to build and find. I’m talking about people who know how to find answers, ones who can identify and solve problems because they can find solutions far beyond our current practice.
July 8, 2017
Well presented ideas on parenting that are well worth reading about. Practical situations that are easy to relate to for an everyday parent are given as examples to support a few basic principles every parent would be wise to consider. For some it may be obvious - for others such principles may not be so obvious. For this second group this book might provide a lot of useful food for thought. They are presented in an easily read and understandable way. Although some might find items repeating throughout the book somewhat annoying, it didn't spoil my reading. The main theme is important enough to justify a couple of repetitions.
I would recommend parents reading about these ideas as early as possible in their parenthood - and try try to use it.
I found this book very useful and will likely read portions of it again in some time.
I would recommend parents reading about these ideas as early as possible in their parenthood - and try try to use it.
I found this book very useful and will likely read portions of it again in some time.
February 26, 2019
All of his advice is sound, it's just repetitive. He could have made his point then moved on, but instead he repeated his previous advice in subsequent chapters. But of he were succinct, the book would be a pamphlet and that just wouldn't do.
The author clearly has real life experience with lots of kids in groups and as individuals. I value his perspective more so than clinicians and researchers. I also enjoyed his anecdotes.
I recommend this book for parents or adults leading children - especially for those folks hesitant to force their kids to fight their own battles.
The author clearly has real life experience with lots of kids in groups and as individuals. I value his perspective more so than clinicians and researchers. I also enjoyed his anecdotes.
I recommend this book for parents or adults leading children - especially for those folks hesitant to force their kids to fight their own battles.
May 17, 2024
Humble, authentic parenting insights
Parenting is the most humbling hat I wear, yet also the most rewarding. So appreciate your insights and lessons. Recommend reading at any level of parenting.
Parenting is the most humbling hat I wear, yet also the most rewarding. So appreciate your insights and lessons. Recommend reading at any level of parenting.
June 21, 2018
I have read A LOT of parenting books this is at the top of my list
February 23, 2021
Letting your kids fail, and trust but verify are my two big takeaways from this book.
November 9, 2022
Great advice for parents and individuals that work with children, youth, and young adults.
March 6, 2025
This book is filled with practical wisdom to guide parents in raising well adapted and prepared kids. It is one that I want to read again.
July 1, 2014
More reviews (and no fluff) on the blog http://surrealtalvi.wordpress.com/
This is a surprisingly good book packed with very useful and up to date observations on the iY gen child (i for ipad/iphone/etc. and y for Gen Y). Most of the book is focused on parents and the repercussions of how parenting has evolved after the fin de siecle. So while the title sounds very simple the book is anything but simplistic; there is a lot here to really make you think you twice about your parenting. Note, however, that this is a Christian themed book with bible references, quotes, scriptures, etc. Honestly, I wish it wasn't because the information contained herein is very universal and the Christian references will distance non-Christians from some good information. As well, the Christian themes can be removed so the book is universal to all religions in America without impacting the important information/advice/observations within.The book is broken down by the 12 main mistakes and then some recommendations/things to remember afterwards. Almost all of them have to do with overparenting, which the author feels is the main shortcoming of the modern parent. Children aren't allowed to fail, develop their own lives or personalities, or become equipped to deal with the harsh realities of life as an adult. The result, as noted by the author, is the sheer amount of children never graduating university/college and increasing numbers returning to live at home. At heart, the author makes great points that the needs of the future and adult life are sacrificed to concentrate on the moments during childhood.
I was very impressed with the points asserted and honestly agreed with every one of them. I could see my own faults in there and areas I needed to change, improve, and (most especially) step back from to let my daughter develop, learn to adapt and thrive, and face hardships as well as the best times so she is prepared for all circumstances as an adult.
The book really focuses on Americans but the author notes that there are similar circumstances in a lot of English-speaking countries such as Canada and Britain. Almost an epidemic of overparenting combined with schools and society feeling the need to 'level the playing field' by deciding to not give honest assessments, grades, or mentoring. As such, kids grow up in a bubble that catastrophically pops once they are out in society and there is no mommy or daddy to guide their every move.
Although the information in the book is a solid five stars, I did rate down 1 star for the numerous plugs for the authors book(s), lectures, and organizations (they may be great, but when interspersed throughout the book, it feels more like a marketing tool or infomercial). They cheapened an otherwise well thought out and informative look at modern parenting and how we are likely setting our children up for horrible failure in the future.
Reviewed from an ARC.
August 11, 2016
As my children approach school age, I'm finding myself drawn to books like these--how to help them without hindering them. Elmore presents a very easy to follow and instructional book for parents in my position. Let's face it, there are some out of control parents over there--those who just don't let their kids grow up (and this can pose some real problems in adulthood. I know a few of these "kids" and, whoa, it's not pretty, folks!)
This book is very well organized. I will say that it is a little formulaic, but that works well here. Elmore tackles 12 issues by defining them, exploring them, and then offering suggestions for parents. I would say that very little of what he says is surprising, but the way he phrases it makes the reader realize that they might possibly be treading on thin ice and this might be the time to turn things around.
This book is put out by a Christian publisher and it came to me under the "Christian / Parenting" banner. I will say that Elmore keeps his faith-based talk to a very bare minimum. True, what he advocates is in line with what many consider "Christian" parenting principles, but it is really more common sense than anything. I don't think that a non-Christian would have any issue or would be bothered by the contents or language of this book.
My only complaint is that Elmore sometimes goes just a bit too far. For example, he frequently talks about how parents go to great lengths to protect their children and he does give some examples--not letting them walk to school on their own (if it is nearby) or advocating that play structures be removed from playgrounds. But he also includes things such as insisting kids wear seat belts and bike helmets. I get it about overreaction to "treacherous" playgrounds, but I do think it is just common sense (and good parenting) to make sure your kids wear seat belts and bike helmets. So, my advice to a reader would be to go in to this book willing to take his hyperbole with a grain of salt.
All in all this is a solid parenting book--and one I wish had come out 35 or 40 years ago.
I received an electronic copy of this book in return for an honest review. I received no other compensation for this post.
This book is very well organized. I will say that it is a little formulaic, but that works well here. Elmore tackles 12 issues by defining them, exploring them, and then offering suggestions for parents. I would say that very little of what he says is surprising, but the way he phrases it makes the reader realize that they might possibly be treading on thin ice and this might be the time to turn things around.
This book is put out by a Christian publisher and it came to me under the "Christian / Parenting" banner. I will say that Elmore keeps his faith-based talk to a very bare minimum. True, what he advocates is in line with what many consider "Christian" parenting principles, but it is really more common sense than anything. I don't think that a non-Christian would have any issue or would be bothered by the contents or language of this book.
My only complaint is that Elmore sometimes goes just a bit too far. For example, he frequently talks about how parents go to great lengths to protect their children and he does give some examples--not letting them walk to school on their own (if it is nearby) or advocating that play structures be removed from playgrounds. But he also includes things such as insisting kids wear seat belts and bike helmets. I get it about overreaction to "treacherous" playgrounds, but I do think it is just common sense (and good parenting) to make sure your kids wear seat belts and bike helmets. So, my advice to a reader would be to go in to this book willing to take his hyperbole with a grain of salt.
All in all this is a solid parenting book--and one I wish had come out 35 or 40 years ago.
I received an electronic copy of this book in return for an honest review. I received no other compensation for this post.
February 12, 2016
I love Tim Elmore. In his latest book, Tim outlines 12 mistakes parents can avoid. Here's the 12:
1. We won't let them fail. (When we remove the possibility of failure, we dilute kids' motivation.)
2. We project our lives on them. (When we project, kids are pressured to be someone they're not.)
3. We prioritize being happy. (When happiness is the goal instead of a by-product, it is elusive and disappointing.)
4. We are inconsistent. (When we are inconsistent, we send mixed signals and breed insecurity and instability in kids.)
5. We remove the consequences. (When we remove consequences for actions, we fail to prepare kids for the future.)
6. We lie about their potential and don't explore their true potential. (When we distort, disillusionment results from dreams that don't match kids' gifts.)
7. We won't let them struggle or fight. (When we eliminate the struggle, kids are conditioned to give up easily without trying.
8. We give them what they should earn. (When we give them too much, they don't learn the art of working and waiting.)
9. We praise the wrong things. (When we affirm kids' look or smarts instead of their virtues, their values become skewed.
10. We value removing all pain. (When we take away pain, kids' ability to endure hardship or loss atrophies.)
11. We do it for them. (When we do things for kids, they can become lazy, unmotivated to grow, and disabled.)
12. We prepare the path for the child instead of the child for the path. (When we prepare the path, kids' childhoods work fine but their adulthood looks bleak.)
This book is full of parenting wisdom. Highly recommend.
1. We won't let them fail. (When we remove the possibility of failure, we dilute kids' motivation.)
2. We project our lives on them. (When we project, kids are pressured to be someone they're not.)
3. We prioritize being happy. (When happiness is the goal instead of a by-product, it is elusive and disappointing.)
4. We are inconsistent. (When we are inconsistent, we send mixed signals and breed insecurity and instability in kids.)
5. We remove the consequences. (When we remove consequences for actions, we fail to prepare kids for the future.)
6. We lie about their potential and don't explore their true potential. (When we distort, disillusionment results from dreams that don't match kids' gifts.)
7. We won't let them struggle or fight. (When we eliminate the struggle, kids are conditioned to give up easily without trying.
8. We give them what they should earn. (When we give them too much, they don't learn the art of working and waiting.)
9. We praise the wrong things. (When we affirm kids' look or smarts instead of their virtues, their values become skewed.
10. We value removing all pain. (When we take away pain, kids' ability to endure hardship or loss atrophies.)
11. We do it for them. (When we do things for kids, they can become lazy, unmotivated to grow, and disabled.)
12. We prepare the path for the child instead of the child for the path. (When we prepare the path, kids' childhoods work fine but their adulthood looks bleak.)
This book is full of parenting wisdom. Highly recommend.
June 22, 2015
I believe this is a very good book. I currently live outside the united states, so I was unaware of many of the difficulties currently going on there. However, I did grow up there until after college when I moved away.
I believe this book does a very good job explaining all the possible downfalls and pitfalls of parenting as concerns our children. I also believe it explains in very good details some of the things we need to consider, some of the things we need to do, and some of the things we need to prepare for.
This book is definitely worth reading, and thinking deeply about. If you are a parent, you will not regret buying and reading this book.
I believe this book does a very good job explaining all the possible downfalls and pitfalls of parenting as concerns our children. I also believe it explains in very good details some of the things we need to consider, some of the things we need to do, and some of the things we need to prepare for.
This book is definitely worth reading, and thinking deeply about. If you are a parent, you will not regret buying and reading this book.
November 27, 2014
12 Huge Mistakes Parents can Avoid
By Tim Elmore
Useful parenting tips and ideas for parents of the 'Y' generation children.
This books is based on Christian principles, and ideas, not a list of dos and don't, but principles and information.
Elmore covers 12 main mistakes parents make and how to avoid them. Over Parenting is the central theme that runs throughout the book.
The book is helpful, and will give pointers for any modern parent.
By Tim Elmore
Useful parenting tips and ideas for parents of the 'Y' generation children.
This books is based on Christian principles, and ideas, not a list of dos and don't, but principles and information.
Elmore covers 12 main mistakes parents make and how to avoid them. Over Parenting is the central theme that runs throughout the book.
The book is helpful, and will give pointers for any modern parent.
July 26, 2015
Nice read. I was glad to see we do a LOT of things right, as parents. It is however, important to see where we can improve, especially when it comes to letting them take more risks and make more decisions for themselves. We also have to work at 'instant gratification' that our youngest has gotten used to. A nice addition to this book would be a workbook to help parents work through some of the concepts in this book.
February 6, 2015
I really liked Tim Elmore's wisdom and perspective. I did find the examples at the beginning if each chapter to be a but extreme and got weary of reading them. Nonetheless, I would recommend this book.
November 7, 2014
Our school gave all parents this book to read. A great perspective. I always enjoy reading books like this.
May 7, 2015
Great book for anyone who leads young people
May 3, 2015
This was vey helpful and informative
June 8, 2015
Excellent encouragement for parents. Elmore gives great ideas for rethinking our approach to parenting & leading our children into healthy adulthood.
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