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Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill, Revised and Updated Edition: A Call to Action Against TV, Movie & Video Game Violence
Completely revised and updated, a much-needed call to action for every parent, teacher, and citizen to help our children and stop the wave of killing and violence gripping America's youth
Newtown, Aurora, Virginia Tech, Columbine. Thereis no bigger or more important issue in America than youth violence. Kids, some as young as ten years old, take up arms with the intention to murder. Why is this happening? Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano believe the root cause is the steady diet of violent entertainment kids see on TV, in movies, and in the video games they play—witnessing hundreds of violent images a day. Offering incontrovertible evidence based on recent scientific studies and research, they posit that this media is not just conditioning children to be violent and see killing as acceptable but teaching them the mechanics of killing as well.
Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill supplies the statistics, interprets the copious research that exists on the subject, and suggests the many ways to make a difference in your home, at school, in your community, in the courts, and in the larger world. In using this book, parents, educators, social-service workers, youth advocates, and anyone interested in the welfare of our children will have a solid foundation for effective action and prevention of future Columbines, Jonesboros, and Newtowns.
Newtown, Aurora, Virginia Tech, Columbine. Thereis no bigger or more important issue in America than youth violence. Kids, some as young as ten years old, take up arms with the intention to murder. Why is this happening? Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano believe the root cause is the steady diet of violent entertainment kids see on TV, in movies, and in the video games they play—witnessing hundreds of violent images a day. Offering incontrovertible evidence based on recent scientific studies and research, they posit that this media is not just conditioning children to be violent and see killing as acceptable but teaching them the mechanics of killing as well.
Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill supplies the statistics, interprets the copious research that exists on the subject, and suggests the many ways to make a difference in your home, at school, in your community, in the courts, and in the larger world. In using this book, parents, educators, social-service workers, youth advocates, and anyone interested in the welfare of our children will have a solid foundation for effective action and prevention of future Columbines, Jonesboros, and Newtowns.
212 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 5, 1999
37 people are currently reading
861 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
November 7, 2014
To start, I received this book as part of a Goodreads First Reads giveaway.
This is an alarmist book, plain and simple. Not worth the read. It attempts to blame the country's violence problem on television, movies, and video games, but what it ignores is the rest of the world. Certainly America produces violent entertainment, but the rest of the world consumes it as well and doesn't nearly have the amount of gun related deaths or injuries we do. Take Canada, for example. They have just as many guns, watch just as much American television and films, and play just as many violent video games. But yet they have an extremely small fraction of the gun related crime that America does. This book doesn't even attempt to explain that phenomena, and with that regard, they've done a very poor job pinning America's problem with violence solely on entertainment. The authors also ignore the vast amount of research that's been done concluding that violent entertainment isn't to blame for these incidents. Certainly America could scale back the violence depicted in entertainment, or better yet, put higher ratings on violent multimedia just as many European countries have, but the country's violence problem cannot be oversimplified and boiled down to TV and video games.
The authors should have explored both sides of the issue and payed more attention to scholarship, because their one sided, embarrassingly simple argument was not worth the effort to print a single copy of this book, let alone to publish it.
Would never buy. Would never recommend.
This is an alarmist book, plain and simple. Not worth the read. It attempts to blame the country's violence problem on television, movies, and video games, but what it ignores is the rest of the world. Certainly America produces violent entertainment, but the rest of the world consumes it as well and doesn't nearly have the amount of gun related deaths or injuries we do. Take Canada, for example. They have just as many guns, watch just as much American television and films, and play just as many violent video games. But yet they have an extremely small fraction of the gun related crime that America does. This book doesn't even attempt to explain that phenomena, and with that regard, they've done a very poor job pinning America's problem with violence solely on entertainment. The authors also ignore the vast amount of research that's been done concluding that violent entertainment isn't to blame for these incidents. Certainly America could scale back the violence depicted in entertainment, or better yet, put higher ratings on violent multimedia just as many European countries have, but the country's violence problem cannot be oversimplified and boiled down to TV and video games.
The authors should have explored both sides of the issue and payed more attention to scholarship, because their one sided, embarrassingly simple argument was not worth the effort to print a single copy of this book, let alone to publish it.
Would never buy. Would never recommend.
February 5, 2013
This book does a great job at bringing together a multitude of research correlating violent media consumption by children with increased aggression and violence. I think the authors make a strong case that young children should not be exposed to violent media and that older children should be slowly exposed to violence so they understand the "human condition".
The authors miss the mark by saying children should learn that violence is never the answer. Children should know that violence is a last resort and only to be used in certain situations but that when it is the right solution it is the only solution. Determining the age at which you teach your children this information can be debated but they need to have an understanding that violence is sometimes the only solution and that this is good and righteous.
The other area the authors miss the mark is their "call to action" against Hollywood. Parents need to monitor what their children consume and they are responsible for what their kids learn from TV. The authors push for legislation that would allow TV stations and Movie creators to be sued because they have taught children to be violent is misguided. If they want to point the finger they should point it at the parents. They are taking the blame off the person doing the violence (the child) and the people responsible for their behavior (the parents). The media children consume does affect their tendencies towards violence but the solution for this is in the home not through further government regulation. If the government is called to regulate everything that is potentially dangerous, we will have no liberty left in this country. I wish the authors made this more of a call to action for parents instead of a call to action for government "solutions".
The authors miss the mark by saying children should learn that violence is never the answer. Children should know that violence is a last resort and only to be used in certain situations but that when it is the right solution it is the only solution. Determining the age at which you teach your children this information can be debated but they need to have an understanding that violence is sometimes the only solution and that this is good and righteous.
The other area the authors miss the mark is their "call to action" against Hollywood. Parents need to monitor what their children consume and they are responsible for what their kids learn from TV. The authors push for legislation that would allow TV stations and Movie creators to be sued because they have taught children to be violent is misguided. If they want to point the finger they should point it at the parents. They are taking the blame off the person doing the violence (the child) and the people responsible for their behavior (the parents). The media children consume does affect their tendencies towards violence but the solution for this is in the home not through further government regulation. If the government is called to regulate everything that is potentially dangerous, we will have no liberty left in this country. I wish the authors made this more of a call to action for parents instead of a call to action for government "solutions".
May 18, 2012
Perhaps it's because I read "On Killing" right before I read this, but I didn't find any revelations here. While the authors have a good message in that we need to reduce violence in our society, the arguments in this book are very flawed.
They choose to look at some tragedies (Columbine, etc) and extrapolate that the perpetrators of such violence were only able to commit such acts because of the training they received from video games. Talk about an unfalsifiable hypothesis.
They also seem to ignore the fact that MILLIONS of other kids who grew up with such violence have turned out to be perfectly upstanding human beings and citizens. Of course this is not the place for an argument or debate but that was the main issue I had that was not answered.
I'm not here to defend violence in the media; far from it. But this book simply didn't do a good job of convincing me. Instead it came off as a really pretentious bashing of the video game industry.
Read Dave Grossman's book "On Killing" for a much better understanding.
They choose to look at some tragedies (Columbine, etc) and extrapolate that the perpetrators of such violence were only able to commit such acts because of the training they received from video games. Talk about an unfalsifiable hypothesis.
They also seem to ignore the fact that MILLIONS of other kids who grew up with such violence have turned out to be perfectly upstanding human beings and citizens. Of course this is not the place for an argument or debate but that was the main issue I had that was not answered.
I'm not here to defend violence in the media; far from it. But this book simply didn't do a good job of convincing me. Instead it came off as a really pretentious bashing of the video game industry.
Read Dave Grossman's book "On Killing" for a much better understanding.
December 18, 2016
This book is simply a-mazing! Now I finally understand what is going on. It is the TV violence that turns the stupid, yet peaceful herbivore named human into killing. Without this demonic influence the killing was unknown for the humans. Unless you count the ones that live in nature and have seen other savage beasts killing to eat. But normal humans have never ventured on the outside of the cement zoos built by the holy alien spirit and his biatch the gosh.
And the book is quite dated in its smart documentation and intelligent views: the Internet, the smartphones, everything that uses electricity does that. So the solution is easy: ban everything. Than pay Dave, because he is a great man.
And the book is quite dated in its smart documentation and intelligent views: the Internet, the smartphones, everything that uses electricity does that. So the solution is easy: ban everything. Than pay Dave, because he is a great man.
December 16, 2014
Enough is Enough! Parent Alert: It’s Time To “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill”!
I just finished reading “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill”: A Call To Action Against TV, Movie & Video Violence by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano. Parents, Guardians, and those entrusted with the well-being of our children, if you don’t read any other book in 2015, I implore you to read this one!
After hearing Lt. Col. Dave Grossman speak at the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists Annual Conference in May 2014, I couldn't wait to get my hands on the second edition of this book (available August 2014). Supported by the latest research as well as by six prestigious organizations – the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Medical Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry - Grossman and DeGaetano clearly make the case for “causal connection between media violence and aggressive behavior in some children”. However, the alarming and deleterious effects on the psychological, social, cognitive, and physical development of millions of children who are pervasively exposed to violent movies and TV, and/or who are engaging in violent video games are thoroughly defined and discussed. What I learned is horrifying. This book is not an easy read – but it is a MUST read.
Although every chapter of “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill” is incredibly important, I recommend jumping right into Chapter Three – Murder, Torture, Brutality: Dangerous “Games”, and Chapter Four – The Story I Tell Myself About Myself. Even with my background in psychology and my professional experience in the areas of trauma and abuse, I was blown away by the depth of Grossman’s and DeGaetano’s compelling understanding of the human mind and how the processes of reconditioning and re-scripting by exposure to violent media affect children differently at these developmental stages– ages 3-5; ages 6-10; ages 11- 14; ages 15-18. Parents or guardians, when it comes to violent media and how it influences and impacts a child’s psycho-social development and self-identity, the authors explain step by step how a child’s brain is harmfully “wired and fired”. Just a few of the terms that are part of the “wiring” are the following:
• Mastery and control
* Operant conditioning
• Desensitization
• Downward spiral
• Wishful identification
• Imitation to identification
Understanding these terms and many others provides awareness and insight into the damaging developmental consequences on our children, many of which go undetected until acts of aggression or of violence become part of a child’s repertoire of behaviors or anti-social attitudes.
Parents/guardians and for everyone who cares about our children, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano write, “The media has been called the third parent because of its pervasive, repetitive, and constant presence in the lives of our children. Mass media actually comes between and impacts every personal and societal relationship our children form. It’s ever present.”
Enough is enough! It is time to step it up! It is time to “Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill”! Grossman and DeGaetano are ready to help. Along with a wide range of resources, the authors provide readers with a plethora of age appropriate guidelines and practices to incorporate into their parenting.
Get this book! Get it today! Let’s all help our kids have a healthy life!
Author Holli Kenley, M.A., MFT
Cyber Bullying No More: Parenting a High Tech Generation
Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within
I just finished reading “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill”: A Call To Action Against TV, Movie & Video Violence by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano. Parents, Guardians, and those entrusted with the well-being of our children, if you don’t read any other book in 2015, I implore you to read this one!
After hearing Lt. Col. Dave Grossman speak at the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists Annual Conference in May 2014, I couldn't wait to get my hands on the second edition of this book (available August 2014). Supported by the latest research as well as by six prestigious organizations – the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Medical Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry - Grossman and DeGaetano clearly make the case for “causal connection between media violence and aggressive behavior in some children”. However, the alarming and deleterious effects on the psychological, social, cognitive, and physical development of millions of children who are pervasively exposed to violent movies and TV, and/or who are engaging in violent video games are thoroughly defined and discussed. What I learned is horrifying. This book is not an easy read – but it is a MUST read.
Although every chapter of “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill” is incredibly important, I recommend jumping right into Chapter Three – Murder, Torture, Brutality: Dangerous “Games”, and Chapter Four – The Story I Tell Myself About Myself. Even with my background in psychology and my professional experience in the areas of trauma and abuse, I was blown away by the depth of Grossman’s and DeGaetano’s compelling understanding of the human mind and how the processes of reconditioning and re-scripting by exposure to violent media affect children differently at these developmental stages– ages 3-5; ages 6-10; ages 11- 14; ages 15-18. Parents or guardians, when it comes to violent media and how it influences and impacts a child’s psycho-social development and self-identity, the authors explain step by step how a child’s brain is harmfully “wired and fired”. Just a few of the terms that are part of the “wiring” are the following:
• Mastery and control
* Operant conditioning
• Desensitization
• Downward spiral
• Wishful identification
• Imitation to identification
Understanding these terms and many others provides awareness and insight into the damaging developmental consequences on our children, many of which go undetected until acts of aggression or of violence become part of a child’s repertoire of behaviors or anti-social attitudes.
Parents/guardians and for everyone who cares about our children, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano write, “The media has been called the third parent because of its pervasive, repetitive, and constant presence in the lives of our children. Mass media actually comes between and impacts every personal and societal relationship our children form. It’s ever present.”
Enough is enough! It is time to step it up! It is time to “Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill”! Grossman and DeGaetano are ready to help. Along with a wide range of resources, the authors provide readers with a plethora of age appropriate guidelines and practices to incorporate into their parenting.
Get this book! Get it today! Let’s all help our kids have a healthy life!
Author Holli Kenley, M.A., MFT
Cyber Bullying No More: Parenting a High Tech Generation
Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within
April 6, 2017
Please note: I received this book through a Goodreads book giveaway.
I have been playing video games from a young age. I am also strongly against censorship (it is the parents’ responsibility to be involved in their children’s lives and what they are consuming media-wise). While I can totally understand and acknowledge that media violence is pervasive and over the top, I found this book to be a bit short-sighted, I felt that the argument was stated, but not argued as persuasively as possible. I never really learned anything new or surprising, and I feel that the information provided didn’t take a complete and in-depth look at the issue of media violence: please explain why this is such an issue in U.S. as compared to other places (Canada, Europe, etc.). Also, some of the suggestions given to discuss media violence with children are questionable, making me very skeptical. Here are some sample questions: “Top ten questions to ask your older child or teen about media violence:…keep asking these questions…be relentless. 4. How is buying that violent video game (or movie) making you a better person? 7. Write three sentences about what you learned from this violence movie (TV show, video game) and then answer this question: Do I like myself better or worse for watching (playing the video game)? 10. Are you a victim of media manipulation? Why or why not? How do you know?” I think a better strategy would be to talk to the child explaining your concerns and talk to them about media violence in ways that are not accusatory or hostile. Bottom line: while this book raises important points about the risks of media violence on children, it lacks a comprehensive study of the issue and suggests some questionable discussion strategies to use on children. For me it comes down to parents—they need to be aware and set guidelines as to what their children can watch or play. Each child is different, it’s up to the parents to know this and decide accordingly.
I have been playing video games from a young age. I am also strongly against censorship (it is the parents’ responsibility to be involved in their children’s lives and what they are consuming media-wise). While I can totally understand and acknowledge that media violence is pervasive and over the top, I found this book to be a bit short-sighted, I felt that the argument was stated, but not argued as persuasively as possible. I never really learned anything new or surprising, and I feel that the information provided didn’t take a complete and in-depth look at the issue of media violence: please explain why this is such an issue in U.S. as compared to other places (Canada, Europe, etc.). Also, some of the suggestions given to discuss media violence with children are questionable, making me very skeptical. Here are some sample questions: “Top ten questions to ask your older child or teen about media violence:…keep asking these questions…be relentless. 4. How is buying that violent video game (or movie) making you a better person? 7. Write three sentences about what you learned from this violence movie (TV show, video game) and then answer this question: Do I like myself better or worse for watching (playing the video game)? 10. Are you a victim of media manipulation? Why or why not? How do you know?” I think a better strategy would be to talk to the child explaining your concerns and talk to them about media violence in ways that are not accusatory or hostile. Bottom line: while this book raises important points about the risks of media violence on children, it lacks a comprehensive study of the issue and suggests some questionable discussion strategies to use on children. For me it comes down to parents—they need to be aware and set guidelines as to what their children can watch or play. Each child is different, it’s up to the parents to know this and decide accordingly.
March 26, 2016
Growing up in the Sixties and Seventies, our age group was sold on the Make Peace, Not War messages that were in the Media during that era. Flower children told us Love was the answer. We were greatly influenced by the media as young people are still today. Unless you are blind as a bat, it's hard not to be affected by the overwhelming evidence of violence and coldness in our young people today. Television programs based on fact, Killer Kids, can attest to the attitude of anger which has arisen with this generation. Never before have so many young people been killing their parents, their families and even their friends when they disagree. There is mounting evidence in Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano updated version of "Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill; A Call to Action Against TV, Movie & Video Game Violence" that children are greatly affected by what they see and hear. Lt. Grossman compares this media with the army's conditioning techniques used to overcome a soldiers' aversion to killing. This book will take an in depth view of how parent's must have greater involvement in censoring their child's books, movies and games. Learn how to take action to prevent future violence. It's never too late to get on board for a more positive future. I was given the opportunity to review this book for Blogging for Books.
December 5, 2016
"Stop teaching our kids to kill!"
So says retired Lieutenant Dave Grossman. Who has KILLED other people in his long line of service. And has TAUGHT other soldiers to KILL.
So he's an expert on being a murderer is what he's saying.
And so he begins his alarmist crusade against video games and movies, despite his own violent history in the marines.
does this make him a viable source, or a massive hypocrite and narcissist?
Think it over.
So says retired Lieutenant Dave Grossman. Who has KILLED other people in his long line of service. And has TAUGHT other soldiers to KILL.
So he's an expert on being a murderer is what he's saying.
And so he begins his alarmist crusade against video games and movies, despite his own violent history in the marines.
does this make him a viable source, or a massive hypocrite and narcissist?
Think it over.
May 8, 2018
I disagree with several of his conclusions, but his research and science is compelling.
As a voluntaryist, I have no problem with simulated violence that is consensual (magic tricks, paintball, playing Halo). Heck, I have very little issue with ACTUAL violence so long as it is consensual (football, boxing, religious self-flagellation, BDSM sexual encounters, kid's martial arts training).
But Grossman really does bring to light the absolute obsession the US culture has with violence. These video games are played in Europe, these war movies and spy thrillers are played over there too, and yet there is a marked difference in how our two otherwise very similar (relatively) cultures relate to real, non-consensual violence.
A shocking and instructive little dissertation here.
As a voluntaryist, I have no problem with simulated violence that is consensual (magic tricks, paintball, playing Halo). Heck, I have very little issue with ACTUAL violence so long as it is consensual (football, boxing, religious self-flagellation, BDSM sexual encounters, kid's martial arts training).
But Grossman really does bring to light the absolute obsession the US culture has with violence. These video games are played in Europe, these war movies and spy thrillers are played over there too, and yet there is a marked difference in how our two otherwise very similar (relatively) cultures relate to real, non-consensual violence.
A shocking and instructive little dissertation here.
Read
December 28, 2012Didn't finish this one. Nothing wrong with it, just found it fairly repetitive from Grossman's other work that I've read. Sad to say, too, but it's also really, really dated, which is most noticeable in how many mass killings hadn't yet happened when it was published...
January 6, 2015
Interesting if somewhat simplified look at the US culture of violence. I came into it skeptical but it was pretty persuasive. Since it was written nearly 20 years ago and nothing has changed, it was ultimately very depressing.
December 17, 2012
Good premise, poor argument. I expected better studies and arguments from Grossman; especially after reading "On Killing" (which was excellent).
January 2, 2015
Writing was so bad I could not finish.
September 7, 2015
302.230835 GRO 2014
My book review: It is no doubt to me that playing video game affect the ways we think, extremely careful about violent video game which do great harms to children mental development. there is huge difference between Sensational vs. Sensitive portrayals of violence. P167-169 a definition off harmful media violence
p39 (According to book Subliminal): The causal arrow in human thought process consistently tends to points from belief to evidence, not vice versa
p54 The Four effects of media violence
1) Increased aggression.
There are 3 basic reasons that many researchers believe violent video games have strong effect on aggression, even stronger than TV. First, video game playing is active process, while TV viewing is passive. Second, since players actually participate more in the violence with video game playing, they are more likely to identify with the perpetrators of violence. third, violent video games rewards violence behavior.
p56 Their findings showed that exposure to TV violence before age of eight was predictive of aggressive behavior at age nineteen.
p56 TV violence and aggression is most likely reciprocal: Early viewing of violence stimulates aggression, and behaving aggressively then leads to a heightened interested in violent TV content. Vicious cycle
---My words: I agree with all of these points.
2) Increased Fear
the mean world syndrome: the world and other people as more dangerous than they actually are.
3)Desensitization to real-life and screen violence
the desensitization effect has been called the bystander effect.
4)Increased appetite for violence.
p70 It's unnerving that we have come to accept sadism and psychopathic depictions as acceptable recreation
p70 The steady dip of video game violence throughout kids' days has brainwashed them to enjoy inflicting and reveling in others' pain.
4 reasons that video games (not only violent games) are good at p72-100
1) Video games provide satisfaction
Glued to Games: How Video Games Draw Us in and Hold Us Spellbound by Scott Rigby presents model called "Player Experience of Needs satisfaction(PENS) to explain the draw of video game. These games satisfy 3 real, intrinsic human needs that necessary for psychological health: autonomy(take action on own desire), competence (master skills), and relatedness(connections to others.
p76 As Rigby note, compared to many other activities in life, games are remarkably good candidate for need satisfaction, largely because of the immediacy, consistency, and density of intrinsic satisfactions they provide.
p80 Children and teens without enough fulfilling real-life experience can use video game as a substitute...Kids who live unsatisfying lives gravitates to the thrills of the virtual world....And for a lot of kids whose lives are in shambles it is easy to see how video games can come to their rescue. -- my words: the only counterpart of games is rich of real-life.
2)Violent video game addiction
p85 Jonathan Blow (Braid, The Witness) went so far as to call ..World of Warcraft, unethical and exploitative.
Hooked on Games: The Lure and Cost of Video Game and Internet Addiction by Andrew P. Doan
According to Endangered Minds: Why Children Dont Think And What We Can Do About It by Jane M. Healy, there are 4 basic elements that make video games so habit forming
1. The player experiences feeling of mastery and control. The less sense of power the child or teen feels in his or her life, the more this element may become important as an additive factor. Boys preferring violent games or girls playing video associated with low self-esteem.
2. The level of play is exactly calibrated to the player's ability level
3. The player receives immediate and continual reinforcement, which make the games particularly addictive.
4. The player can escape life and be immersed in a constructed reality that seems to be totally in his or her control.
p89 Sociological level: it is normal to feel Ok about inflicting pain on other people
Psychological level: a sense of self that is comfortable with being able to inflict pain on other people
Neurological level: wiring neuro circuits that associate feeling of satisfaction with inflicting pain on other people.
3)Violent video games are effective teachers and trainers.
p93 There are 3 things in order to shoot and kill effectively and efficiently,...Gun, the skill, and the will. Of these 3 factors, the military knows that the killing simulators take care of 2 by nurturing both the skill and the will to kill a fellow human being. The primary value of this simulation is in developing the will to kill by repeatedly rehearing the act until it feels natural.
4)Violent video games are especially good at desensitization
psychopath: want to get things from people and don't care about hurting them.
Sadist: look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for pleasure.
p98-100 Once the brain disconnects from empathy, compassion, it solidifies the link between pleasure and violence.
p128 Common expression in brain research "What get fired, get wired".
p152 Address peer pressure directly: What parents is to focus not so much on whether the child is missing out on a culturally induced childhood "necessity", but rather on building the child's sense of identity and resiliency.
Violent Games:
Typical ESRB rating: M
Duke Nukem, Doom, Postal, Mortal Combat, GTA, Fallout, Godfather
Also be aware toys come with these violent games, they are usually put in the same place as other kids toys.
Games rules: (My thoughts)
1. at least Check ESRB, even ESRB tends to underestimate violent contents.
2. Start game as late as possible.
The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) assigns rating information for computer and video games.
On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by Dave Grossman/355.0019 GRO 2009/eAudio
Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior by Leonard Mlodinow/154.2 MLO/CD 154.2 MLO
When the Media is the Parent by George Drinka
Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development Stages
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson...
1. Hopes: trust vs. mistrust (oral-sensory, birth – 2 years)
2. Will: autonomy vs. shame and doubt (muscular-anal, 2–4 years)
3. Purpose: initiative vs. guilt (locomotor-genital, preschool, 4–5 years)
4. Competence: industry vs. inferiority (latency, 5–12 years)
5. Fidelity: identity vs. role confusion (adolescence, 13–19 years)
6. Love: intimacy vs. isolation (young adulthood, 20–24, or 20–39 years)
7. Care: generativity vs. stagnation (middle adulthood, 25–64, or 40–64 years)
8. Wisdom: ego integrity vs. despair (late adulthood, 65 – death)
Violent Video games: Your child's favorite teacher (my words: it applied to all games) p91
1.Give clear objects. There isn't confusion about the purpose of learning
2. Effectively adapt to the child's prior knowledge. The child is always in a comfortable learning zone-not too hard, not too easy.
3. Pace the child according to his or her skill level, with levels of increasing difficulty so the child experiences competent before the next challenge. The child feels competent and and autonomous before new learning is introduced.
4. Provide practice, immediate feedback, and more practice based on that feedback. The child's feeling of competence and autonomy increase.
5. Reinforce both extrinsically (with points, better weapons, more money, etc.) and intrinsically (advancement to higher level of complexity). As the child's sense of belonging increases as he "levels up", he is more motivated to keep learning through the video game.
6. Go beyond mastery to overlearning, so that knowledge and skill become automatized and consolidated in memory. The child can now retrieve the knowledge and skills learned easily and quickly to use in new situations.
My book review: It is no doubt to me that playing video game affect the ways we think, extremely careful about violent video game which do great harms to children mental development. there is huge difference between Sensational vs. Sensitive portrayals of violence. P167-169 a definition off harmful media violence
p39 (According to book Subliminal): The causal arrow in human thought process consistently tends to points from belief to evidence, not vice versa
p54 The Four effects of media violence
1) Increased aggression.
There are 3 basic reasons that many researchers believe violent video games have strong effect on aggression, even stronger than TV. First, video game playing is active process, while TV viewing is passive. Second, since players actually participate more in the violence with video game playing, they are more likely to identify with the perpetrators of violence. third, violent video games rewards violence behavior.
p56 Their findings showed that exposure to TV violence before age of eight was predictive of aggressive behavior at age nineteen.
p56 TV violence and aggression is most likely reciprocal: Early viewing of violence stimulates aggression, and behaving aggressively then leads to a heightened interested in violent TV content. Vicious cycle
---My words: I agree with all of these points.
2) Increased Fear
the mean world syndrome: the world and other people as more dangerous than they actually are.
3)Desensitization to real-life and screen violence
the desensitization effect has been called the bystander effect.
4)Increased appetite for violence.
p70 It's unnerving that we have come to accept sadism and psychopathic depictions as acceptable recreation
p70 The steady dip of video game violence throughout kids' days has brainwashed them to enjoy inflicting and reveling in others' pain.
4 reasons that video games (not only violent games) are good at p72-100
1) Video games provide satisfaction
Glued to Games: How Video Games Draw Us in and Hold Us Spellbound by Scott Rigby presents model called "Player Experience of Needs satisfaction(PENS) to explain the draw of video game. These games satisfy 3 real, intrinsic human needs that necessary for psychological health: autonomy(take action on own desire), competence (master skills), and relatedness(connections to others.
p76 As Rigby note, compared to many other activities in life, games are remarkably good candidate for need satisfaction, largely because of the immediacy, consistency, and density of intrinsic satisfactions they provide.
p80 Children and teens without enough fulfilling real-life experience can use video game as a substitute...Kids who live unsatisfying lives gravitates to the thrills of the virtual world....And for a lot of kids whose lives are in shambles it is easy to see how video games can come to their rescue. -- my words: the only counterpart of games is rich of real-life.
2)Violent video game addiction
p85 Jonathan Blow (Braid, The Witness) went so far as to call ..World of Warcraft, unethical and exploitative.
Hooked on Games: The Lure and Cost of Video Game and Internet Addiction by Andrew P. Doan
According to Endangered Minds: Why Children Dont Think And What We Can Do About It by Jane M. Healy, there are 4 basic elements that make video games so habit forming
1. The player experiences feeling of mastery and control. The less sense of power the child or teen feels in his or her life, the more this element may become important as an additive factor. Boys preferring violent games or girls playing video associated with low self-esteem.
2. The level of play is exactly calibrated to the player's ability level
3. The player receives immediate and continual reinforcement, which make the games particularly addictive.
4. The player can escape life and be immersed in a constructed reality that seems to be totally in his or her control.
p89 Sociological level: it is normal to feel Ok about inflicting pain on other people
Psychological level: a sense of self that is comfortable with being able to inflict pain on other people
Neurological level: wiring neuro circuits that associate feeling of satisfaction with inflicting pain on other people.
3)Violent video games are effective teachers and trainers.
p93 There are 3 things in order to shoot and kill effectively and efficiently,...Gun, the skill, and the will. Of these 3 factors, the military knows that the killing simulators take care of 2 by nurturing both the skill and the will to kill a fellow human being. The primary value of this simulation is in developing the will to kill by repeatedly rehearing the act until it feels natural.
4)Violent video games are especially good at desensitization
psychopath: want to get things from people and don't care about hurting them.
Sadist: look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for pleasure.
p98-100 Once the brain disconnects from empathy, compassion, it solidifies the link between pleasure and violence.
p128 Common expression in brain research "What get fired, get wired".
p152 Address peer pressure directly: What parents is to focus not so much on whether the child is missing out on a culturally induced childhood "necessity", but rather on building the child's sense of identity and resiliency.
Violent Games:
Typical ESRB rating: M
Duke Nukem, Doom, Postal, Mortal Combat, GTA, Fallout, Godfather
Also be aware toys come with these violent games, they are usually put in the same place as other kids toys.
Games rules: (My thoughts)
1. at least Check ESRB, even ESRB tends to underestimate violent contents.
2. Start game as late as possible.
The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) assigns rating information for computer and video games.
On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by Dave Grossman/355.0019 GRO 2009/eAudio
Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior by Leonard Mlodinow/154.2 MLO/CD 154.2 MLO
When the Media is the Parent by George Drinka
Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development Stages
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson...
1. Hopes: trust vs. mistrust (oral-sensory, birth – 2 years)
2. Will: autonomy vs. shame and doubt (muscular-anal, 2–4 years)
3. Purpose: initiative vs. guilt (locomotor-genital, preschool, 4–5 years)
4. Competence: industry vs. inferiority (latency, 5–12 years)
5. Fidelity: identity vs. role confusion (adolescence, 13–19 years)
6. Love: intimacy vs. isolation (young adulthood, 20–24, or 20–39 years)
7. Care: generativity vs. stagnation (middle adulthood, 25–64, or 40–64 years)
8. Wisdom: ego integrity vs. despair (late adulthood, 65 – death)
Violent Video games: Your child's favorite teacher (my words: it applied to all games) p91
1.Give clear objects. There isn't confusion about the purpose of learning
2. Effectively adapt to the child's prior knowledge. The child is always in a comfortable learning zone-not too hard, not too easy.
3. Pace the child according to his or her skill level, with levels of increasing difficulty so the child experiences competent before the next challenge. The child feels competent and and autonomous before new learning is introduced.
4. Provide practice, immediate feedback, and more practice based on that feedback. The child's feeling of competence and autonomy increase.
5. Reinforce both extrinsically (with points, better weapons, more money, etc.) and intrinsically (advancement to higher level of complexity). As the child's sense of belonging increases as he "levels up", he is more motivated to keep learning through the video game.
6. Go beyond mastery to overlearning, so that knowledge and skill become automatized and consolidated in memory. The child can now retrieve the knowledge and skills learned easily and quickly to use in new situations.
May 24, 2019
Folks don’t think that video games matter. This research goes against all that. Yes it does. The brains of the young, immature not fully formed adult are not fully formed and they have a hard time comprehending certain things and it’s to their detriment and it is not their fault it is just the way it is. Read this it is an important book.
June 14, 2024
While it had some good points, unfortunately glorifying toxic positivity and seeking to defend it's view. I'm not sure if 12 Rules for Life is better than this, at least 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson (which would have a 4 star rating, first for Peterson's promotion of war that's why it's not 5 star, but it even have about five better points than this book.
July 22, 2018
Excellent book on the topic of violence and contributing social factors influencing children. Highly recommended.
September 28, 2018
A great read written by a great man, who truly cares about what is happening to kids today.
March 18, 2019
This book should be required reading for parents, educators, legislators, community leaders...
May 24, 2025
Wow. Powerful. Everyone should read.
May 28, 2015
I am all for protecting kids from extreme media, as long as they still have a chance to learn and prepare for the real world, but am not convinced that video games promote violence in the aggregate. To the contrary, violence levels have fallen since games became popular, and I think games, like theater, are one way for people to learn how to deal with complex issues like violence without engaging in them.
Humans are morally intelligent beings. Well built games allow us to develop, not degrade, our moral sensitivities. Desensitization is a problem with media violence in general, but games, like books, can also teach us to be more aware and sensitive to human issues and to deal with risk, including death.
Furthermore, think how many kids have been saved from serious injuries or death because they are locked in their bedrooms playing violent video games? How many soldiers have been more prepared to survive on the battlefield because they play war related games at home?
Games can be among our most sophisticated teachers. Beyond edutainment, most games teach us that we have physical limits. Yes, in some games you can jump off a cliff without real consequences, or crash a plane, and yes you may even get more than one life/chance if you do take that unnecessary risk and fail, but just as many games teach gut wrenching consequences of risk or violence, like the most recent Tomb Raider reboot.
There are also game experiences that teach us how to get along, to cooperate, to communicate, and to solve complex problems, in a way classrooms mostly fail to do or even call cheating.
Game developers have a great deal of power, as do directors of films, and can use that power for good or gratuitously, but I think most do try to create experiences that allow people to exercise their imaginations and moral intelligence, to experience moral consequences, good and bad, without causing moral harm in the real world, to learn lessons that can only be taught in second, sometimes disposable lives.
That said, games do pose dangers. Getting too wrapped up in virtual worlds can rob us of real world opportunities and relationships, as might any technology or hobby taken to an extreme. We only live once and ought to make the most of it, but to say games should not be part of that experience is like saying books are a distraction and unworthy of our time. I don't think any GoodReads member would agree with that.
For those who are suspicious of games, along with your reading and writing literacy, I recommend discovering ludoliteracy (game literacy), which can be just as rich a life experience if indulged in moderation. You don't have to play the violent games, or let your kids play them, but you might also be surprised that you and they can learn more than violence from them.
Humans are morally intelligent beings. Well built games allow us to develop, not degrade, our moral sensitivities. Desensitization is a problem with media violence in general, but games, like books, can also teach us to be more aware and sensitive to human issues and to deal with risk, including death.
Furthermore, think how many kids have been saved from serious injuries or death because they are locked in their bedrooms playing violent video games? How many soldiers have been more prepared to survive on the battlefield because they play war related games at home?
Games can be among our most sophisticated teachers. Beyond edutainment, most games teach us that we have physical limits. Yes, in some games you can jump off a cliff without real consequences, or crash a plane, and yes you may even get more than one life/chance if you do take that unnecessary risk and fail, but just as many games teach gut wrenching consequences of risk or violence, like the most recent Tomb Raider reboot.
There are also game experiences that teach us how to get along, to cooperate, to communicate, and to solve complex problems, in a way classrooms mostly fail to do or even call cheating.
Game developers have a great deal of power, as do directors of films, and can use that power for good or gratuitously, but I think most do try to create experiences that allow people to exercise their imaginations and moral intelligence, to experience moral consequences, good and bad, without causing moral harm in the real world, to learn lessons that can only be taught in second, sometimes disposable lives.
That said, games do pose dangers. Getting too wrapped up in virtual worlds can rob us of real world opportunities and relationships, as might any technology or hobby taken to an extreme. We only live once and ought to make the most of it, but to say games should not be part of that experience is like saying books are a distraction and unworthy of our time. I don't think any GoodReads member would agree with that.
For those who are suspicious of games, along with your reading and writing literacy, I recommend discovering ludoliteracy (game literacy), which can be just as rich a life experience if indulged in moderation. You don't have to play the violent games, or let your kids play them, but you might also be surprised that you and they can learn more than violence from them.
February 13, 2017
This book was interesting. It caught my attention as I was looking for a good, yet short non-fiction book to read. The book mainly talked about how media violence is affecting people who watch it. It claimed that most school shooters had at least one thing in common, it's that they were affected by media violence. It supported the fact that media violence desensitized people, and made them more comfortable with real violence.
I agree with the fact that media violence desensitizes people. At first, I did not agree with the fact that people who play violent games are more violent. I believed that this claim was true for some people, but not all. As I read more of the book, it talked about how our unconscious minds manly believe what they want to believe, and it is harder for us to listen to facts that oppose our own beliefs. That is the reason I did not believe that people are affected by media violence.
This book was OK I guess. I didn't really enjoy it, because it mainly revolved around on topic. Although I didn't like it, that doesn't mean you don't have to either. I would definitely recommend this book to parents. I hope that this book will help you with your child.
-AppleT2
I agree with the fact that media violence desensitizes people. At first, I did not agree with the fact that people who play violent games are more violent. I believed that this claim was true for some people, but not all. As I read more of the book, it talked about how our unconscious minds manly believe what they want to believe, and it is harder for us to listen to facts that oppose our own beliefs. That is the reason I did not believe that people are affected by media violence.
This book was OK I guess. I didn't really enjoy it, because it mainly revolved around on topic. Although I didn't like it, that doesn't mean you don't have to either. I would definitely recommend this book to parents. I hope that this book will help you with your child.
-AppleT2
January 16, 2016
I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
This book does mainly focus on America, yet it does not ignore the statistics of the rest of the world. In a previous review, someone points out that there is a 'phenomena' of low violence in countries like Canada, however, if you thoroughly read the book, you will see that this 'phenomena' is not worthy of the overdramatic label. Although, I would have liked to see more information focused in regards to the rest of the world rather than just a few other countries. Furthermore, upon a quick search of statistics online, one can find that Canada does not have just as many guns as America as mentioned in another review. In fact, the amount of civilian guns are significantly less. And Canada's death rate from gun violence is not that "extremely small" in comparison with the US as it would be to a country like Honduras. The book also points out that using murder rates to determine the level of violence can be misleading if not considered with other supporting information.
Also, while this book presents a large wealth of information in support of the fact that media violence influences aggressive behavior and emotions, it also mentions that it is not the only factor. Personally, I do think that media violence is largely at fault and is handled very irresponsibly.
Overall, I think this a great book and offers a lot of different perspectives on the effects that exposure to media violence and the lack of media literacy can cause. This book also contains many good examples on how to counter such influence with positive influences as well as offering a list of resources for you to gather more information.
I would seriously recommend this book to anyone with children or involved in the education and care of children.
This book does mainly focus on America, yet it does not ignore the statistics of the rest of the world. In a previous review, someone points out that there is a 'phenomena' of low violence in countries like Canada, however, if you thoroughly read the book, you will see that this 'phenomena' is not worthy of the overdramatic label. Although, I would have liked to see more information focused in regards to the rest of the world rather than just a few other countries. Furthermore, upon a quick search of statistics online, one can find that Canada does not have just as many guns as America as mentioned in another review. In fact, the amount of civilian guns are significantly less. And Canada's death rate from gun violence is not that "extremely small" in comparison with the US as it would be to a country like Honduras. The book also points out that using murder rates to determine the level of violence can be misleading if not considered with other supporting information.
Also, while this book presents a large wealth of information in support of the fact that media violence influences aggressive behavior and emotions, it also mentions that it is not the only factor. Personally, I do think that media violence is largely at fault and is handled very irresponsibly.
Overall, I think this a great book and offers a lot of different perspectives on the effects that exposure to media violence and the lack of media literacy can cause. This book also contains many good examples on how to counter such influence with positive influences as well as offering a list of resources for you to gather more information.
I would seriously recommend this book to anyone with children or involved in the education and care of children.
March 5, 2009
This books main purpose is to make the public aware of media violence and what can be done about it. We Americans have become so desensitized to violence we hardly recognize it anymore. Did you know a preschooler who watches two hours of cartoons a day is exposed to nearly ten thousand violent episodes each year? This is T.V marketed for preschoolers! So you can only imagine what our teens are being exposed to. Violence is made humorous, and is glamourized by characters who appear to be cool role models. The viewer rarely sees any consequences for these violent acts. But wait it does get worse. Now that these developing brains have solidified the link between pleasure and violence, lets train our youth to accurately pull the trigger. How you might ask. The same way the military trains with "First Person Shooter" killing simulators (video "games") Like: Doom, Postal, Duke Nukem, Mortal Combat,and 007 Golden Eye to name a few. Now they have the will and the skill.
After every school shooting parents ask why. Why are kids acting out in such violent ways? You never even heard of such violence when I was in High School. Now we know why. Lets stop making excuses. The least we can do is to talk to our children about media violence, and banning it from our homes. Stop blindly putting children in front of the baby sitter. This book encourages parents, teachers, doctors, police and anyone who is concerned with our children to stand up against media violence. We need better rating systems, so we can be properly informed. Graphic, stylized violence should be treated the same as guns, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, pornography, explosives and X-rated films, and should be made illegal to market or sell to children.
After every school shooting parents ask why. Why are kids acting out in such violent ways? You never even heard of such violence when I was in High School. Now we know why. Lets stop making excuses. The least we can do is to talk to our children about media violence, and banning it from our homes. Stop blindly putting children in front of the baby sitter. This book encourages parents, teachers, doctors, police and anyone who is concerned with our children to stand up against media violence. We need better rating systems, so we can be properly informed. Graphic, stylized violence should be treated the same as guns, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, pornography, explosives and X-rated films, and should be made illegal to market or sell to children.
December 28, 2015
Book Review: Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano
I got the book for free from blogging for books. I actually didn't know much about this book before I picked it. I thought it was a very interesting look at how violent media can effect children. It gives a lot of points on why if effects children and gives ideas on how to approach it in your household. As an educator it also brought up a couple things I need to take into account when assigning students homework that require internet use. I did appreciate that the authors drew on multiple studies and had various sources. This is something that has come up in conversation before and the book brings up a lot of common sense topics. Which leaves us to wonder why we are allowing such violent media free range in our households and society. This book has made me interested on reading more on this topics from both points of view to see the differences and evidence they pull. I would highly recommend this book for parents to check out. It brings up some valid points that we need to consider and look at for our children's sake.
I got the book for free from blogging for books. I actually didn't know much about this book before I picked it. I thought it was a very interesting look at how violent media can effect children. It gives a lot of points on why if effects children and gives ideas on how to approach it in your household. As an educator it also brought up a couple things I need to take into account when assigning students homework that require internet use. I did appreciate that the authors drew on multiple studies and had various sources. This is something that has come up in conversation before and the book brings up a lot of common sense topics. Which leaves us to wonder why we are allowing such violent media free range in our households and society. This book has made me interested on reading more on this topics from both points of view to see the differences and evidence they pull. I would highly recommend this book for parents to check out. It brings up some valid points that we need to consider and look at for our children's sake.
December 30, 2010
This book is a must read for anyone with children, especially for new parents and will also serve well for anyone who is concerned for our country as a whole. Extremely well researched, this will provide the history of the battle against media violence being shoved down our kids throats every day. What will the effects be if we don't learn to recognize the importance of this information? We wonder why our kids are becoming killers at such early ages and we are amazed at the frequency in recent years. Studies have been conducted since the early 50's, yet we hear almost nothing about it on the news or anywhere else. We are being eaten up from the inside and we don't even know it.
Reading this book brought to light, with detail and proven research, the horrors of what money does to those with power, or in positions of power and influence. Every peron should read this book and analize the sources included within. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano have put together something that can only be described as "essential." Read it, you won't regret the time spent doing so.
Reading this book brought to light, with detail and proven research, the horrors of what money does to those with power, or in positions of power and influence. Every peron should read this book and analize the sources included within. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano have put together something that can only be described as "essential." Read it, you won't regret the time spent doing so.
November 11, 2014
I found Mr. Grossman's book to have the same tone as his other works, in that it is very academic and professional in nature. It appears to be well researched and his conclusions are based exclusively on historical study, scientific data, and sound logic. An argument is made here, and being a Criminology major I tend to agree with his position and his conclusions. For those that want to learn about the psychology of deviant adolescent behavior up to and including mass murder, this book would fit the bill. This book does a really good job of providing insight into why kids kill, and gives the reader some great ideas that parents could use to keep their children on track.
Note...I have not read the previous un-updated version of this book. I got this book through a goodreads giveaway.
Note...I have not read the previous un-updated version of this book. I got this book through a goodreads giveaway.
May 21, 2015
This book was very informative on what is happening to young people in our society today as they're exposed to violent media. Anecdotes scattered among scientific findings, made the book an enjoyable read, while also providing convincing evidence of a serious danger that every parent and young person should be aware of. The last section provides practical tips for changing the trend of addiction to violent video games.
December 23, 2008
I am a fan of Grossman's work, and this book does dig deep, but I found it to be way off the mark, firstly because he backtracks on points he's made in his other books, and secondly, video games, television and movies are one facet of a the total environment that a child is exposed to.
Read
August 6, 2011This book gave some interesting opinions on the influence of violent television and computer games on children in today's society. Some opionions I agreed with others had to be taken with a grain of salt.
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