The Kindness Pact: 8 Promises to Make You Feel Good About Who You Are and the Life You Live

by Domonique Bertolucci

Happiness expert Domonique Bertolucci explores the way people treat themselves and the changes they need to make to have more self-confidence and feel more positive about their lives. Most people are terribly unkind to themselves. They make harsh judgments, engage in endless self-criticism, and are unforgiving of even the smallest of failings. At the same time, these people are often loving and kind parents, generous and encouraging friends, and supportive and committed colleagues. They give everyone else their best, only to give themselves their worst. The Kindness Pact introduces the reader to the eight promises—commitments they need to make to feel good about who they are and the life they live—and invite readers to be as kind to themselves as they are to others.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook

191 pages, Hardcover

First published January 2, 2015

Reviews

[Chava · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always good to hear some nice affirmations. This audiobook was read by the author and she has a lovely manner of reading her book. The book has some lovely humour in it and some nice wisdom. No great revelations, but still quite a nice book.

[Prabhani · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice boost of self love. With all this busy schedules remember to love and respect yourself.

The kindness pact by Dominique Bertolucci is a nice quick read to remind that you should be kinder to yourself.

It’s about 8 promises

1. Accept your imperfections.
2. Always do your best.
3. Stop comparing yourself.
4. Believe in your potential.
5. Silence your Inner Critic.
6. Challenge yourself.
7. Stop making excuses.
8. Love yourself.

I would rate 4/5 actually collection of great thoughts, nicely written except repeating over a bit. I would keep this book in my reach to read whenever I fall apart.

[Victor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finally sat down to read this one, but it’s very much the essence of self-help kind of book that I believe it’s not really my cup of tea, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its value… give it a try.

[Lyn Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, which was filled with practical and insightful perspectives.

I have enjoyed successfully putting some of the practices in place already.

[Si Hui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely something to be gained here. However knowledge learned is only as good as how it's applied to real life.

A summary:

The First Promise:
Accept your imperfections:
We are all flawed. Perfection does not exist. We have both good and bad. Strengths and weaknesses. Thats okay.

Decide at what you want to be brilliant at, and be okay with the rest.
Perfection is the enemy of happiness.

You don't need to do that. You are good as you are. You can be better but as you are you are enough.


The Second Promise:
Always do your best
Your best is good enough. Setting impossible goals will make you feel bad. The outcome is often not up to you. Doing your best is the most you can do and no matter your outcome and you'll feel fine.

The Third Promise:
Stop comparing yourself
Others have different strengths and weaknesses, different experiences and upbringings which will shape them differently to you.

The Fourth Promise:
Believe in your potential
Instead of worrying about your expectations, focus on what you can do and can achieve. Focus your energy and attention of what you can achieve.

The Fifth Promise:
Silence your inner critic
Do not speak more harshly to yourself than to a small child. Pay attention to what matters.

The Sixth Promise:
Challenge Yourself
Confidence, patience and self belief are like muscles you need to exercise to make stronger. Challenging yourself is a way of telling yourself that you believe in your ability.

The Seventh Promise:
Stop Making Excuses
Nobody is perfect. Sometimes things aren't going as well as they could but you have to examine these reasons. But you need to take responsibility so you can enjoy your life in a simpler way.

The Eighth Promise:
Love yourself
If you want to be confident and feel good about who you are and the life you live you need to love yourself. Love yourself like you love your closest friends.

[Martha.O.S · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an audiobook i picked up on BorrowBox, as listening to quite a long book, I felt I needed something shorter and easier before delving into the next long listen.

This was a nice choice, a book that reminds us that, in all our busyness, responsibilities etc, it’s important to also be kind to ourselves, which we can sometimes forget.

The book goes through 8 commitments that the author believes each person should make to themselves to feel good about their lives. Often, she argues, we show kindness to others and only engage in negative self-talk to ourselves, saying things we wouldn’t dream of saying to others. The commitments were: accepting our imperfections, not comparing ourselves to others, doing our best, challenging ourselves, silencing the inner critic, believing in our potential, not making excuses and loving ourselves. As such, they were nothing groundbreaking, but might make us more mindful of how we treat ourselves.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like many non-fiction self-help books, I’ve dipped into this book more than once, but it isn’t something I’ve read all in one go.

I really like how this book is set-up. It’s got an introduction to eight promises, and then each chapter details more about those promises:

The First Promise: Accept Your Imperfections
The Second Promise: Always Do Your Best
The Third Promise: Stop Comparing Yourself
The Fourth Promise: Believe in Your Potential
The Fifth Promise: Silence Your Inner Critic
The Sixth Promise: Challenge Yourself
The Seventh Promise: Stop Making Excuses
The Eighth Promise: Love Yourself

Each chapter offers you useful tips and insightful stories backing up the evidence. There’s cute little quotes throughout, and practical advice from the author. So if you’re feeling like you could be kinder to yourself, this is a great little book to pick up.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve just finished 2 books in a row published in the early 2010s in the self help genre and for the life of me I’m truly questioning myself asking why on earth I didn’t just publish my journals and notes to myself because that’s essentially what I’ve just read.

Anyway, nothing revolutionary or original for that matter.
The 8 Promises:
Accept your imperfections
Always do your best
Stop comparing yourself
Believe in your potential
Silence your inner critic
Challenge yourself
Stop making excuses
Love yourself

[Ashley Mills · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is a very nice sentiment, however it’s just a book full of repetitive positive affirmations that you could write for yourself. The book just repeats different ways of saying “you don’t expect perfection from others, so don’t expect it from yourself” - again a very nice sentiment but it’s repetitive and not exactly helpful. If you’re just looking for some nice quotes to tell yourself for affirmations, this book is for you.

[Kae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bought this back in 2018 and only just finished reading it today. The eight promises in this book are simple, yet we often forget them while going through life. It’s perfect for daily reading—just open to a random page, and you’ll find a reminder to carry with you for the day. The messages are easy to understand and apply without feeling overwhelming. I’d recommend this to anyone who needs a gentle reminder from time to time

[Jas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a surreal look into self help for the upper middle class. There are some good bits of advice in principle, but the anecdotes and examples are contained to her world view. In a section on acting on your feelings, she advises against both getting angry and aggressive to the barista, and eating ice cream - just go for a walk instead (in your Lululemon).

[Alisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really made me understand so many different concepts about life!!
Dominique Bertolucci made me feel satisfied with the life I live, and how to really live my life with happiness. I learned you need to try your best, and then, forget about the rest. Don’t worry about the outcome as long as you tried.
Great read on self-motivation:)

[Emily Guscott · Rating 2 out of 5]

An interesting book that had some very good points mentioned. However, I found that the author was more telling me what I already knew rather than giving me advice on how to do things. Will definitely have a look at her other books though.

[Beatriz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that’s surreal and it makes you want to read more. I liked Dominique Bertolucci’s books. Even the Happiness code book was a great read as well! So many gems in her books.
I love the quotes in this book. It make us think that being kinder goes a long way.

[Elis Griner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I forgot to review this back when I finished it. What can I say, Christmas is hectic. It's a short read full of good advice. I'll be reading it again in the future with the intention of annotating it.

[Fina Violita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the quotes inside

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little repetitive at times, but great reminders to be kind to ourselves.

[Jennie Dugan · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Kindness Pact" has a single overriding theme, to be kind to yourself. It's inspirational and has nuggets to carry with you, such as accepting yourself, believing in your potential and silencing your inner critic.
I recommend this book as an inspirational, motivational read that you can take in easily digestible bites.
Recommended for: People who want nuggets of motivation and inspiration, and who are maybe a tad hard on themselves.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lady, this was the wrong day, of the wrong week, of the wrong year, for you to tell me what to do in the guise of helping me. If you are interested in books in this genre that are a little less judgey and less classist-ey I recommend Buddhism for Mothers.

[Any Length · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very valid points for a kinder way to live and to treat ourselves as kindly as we would treat a child.
a good book to read and maybe get the workbook from Domonique's website.

[Kara Rowley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

[Karina]

Hmm, the author tells you not to compare your life to that of a celebrity.... and then uses quotes from celebrities to illustrate their points? I cannot go on.

On the positive side, the author is a good narrator!