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The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality
Ronald Rolheiser makes sense of what is frequently a misunderstood spirituality. In posing the question "What is spirituality?" Father Rolheiser gets quickly to the heart of common difficulties with the subject, and shows through compelling anecdotes and personal examples how to channel that restlessness, that deep desire, into a healthy spirituality.
This book is for those searching to understand what Christian spirituality means and how to apply it to their own lives. Rolheiser explains the nonnegotiables--the importance of community worship, the imperatives surrounding social action, the centrality of the Incarnation, the sustenance of the spiritual life--and how spirituality necessarily impacts every aspect of human experience. At the core of this readable, deeply revealing book is an explanation of God and the Church in a world that more often than not doubts the credibility of both.
This book is for those searching to understand what Christian spirituality means and how to apply it to their own lives. Rolheiser explains the nonnegotiables--the importance of community worship, the imperatives surrounding social action, the centrality of the Incarnation, the sustenance of the spiritual life--and how spirituality necessarily impacts every aspect of human experience. At the core of this readable, deeply revealing book is an explanation of God and the Church in a world that more often than not doubts the credibility of both.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published July 20, 1999
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 233 reviews
August 19, 2014
When it's good, it's very very good, and when it's bad, it's horrid.
It's mostly good. :)
It's mostly good. :)
February 15, 2018
I've got some mixed feelings about this book. A dear priest friend of mine gave this to me to read back in college several years back, and I lost track of it. Recently, I picked it up again when I was perusing through my books to grab another one to read.
There's good, and there's bad. Another review here mentioned that, "when it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's horrid." I think those words are true here in regards this book. When I'm leaping for joy after having finished a book because I not longer have to read that book, I don't consider that a wonderful thing. It's important that we reflect on the book itself and ask ourselves, "was I the intended audience for this writer?"I think it's only fair and just to review it according to the answer we have for that question.
I want to say that the author intended this to be read by anyone, but perhaps more beneficial to particular individuals in certain places on their "spiritual" journey. As a practicing and active Catholic who tries to immerse oneself in apologetics, philosophy, and theology, I didn't find this book particularly beneficial for myself.
It was not enthralling or exciting. It was rather boring to read, in my opinion. There was much redundancy and repetition, which made me slug along even slower. The last time I was this bored reading a book immersed in spirituality was the Confessions by St Augustine (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong) and that book took me like 5 years to read.
I think part of the bore was that the author seemed to stretch awfully far to make connections and conclusions, such as sex being the primordial energy in the universe, calling God a mother, and the like. I also get bummed when I see a Catholic priest make incorrect references to to quotes (such as the classic quote attributed to St Francis).
I think the book would likely best suit someone of a secular walk who has some interest in the Christian thought of parts of spirituality. The author had many gems and one liners, one of which I liked: "It is not so much that we misunderstand what the incarnation means, it is more that we grasp only the smallest tip of the great iceberg. We miss its meaning by not seeing its immensity." (pg 75). Lines like this show up time and again throughout the read, and admittedly, kept me engaged just enough to plow through and try to find more.
There's good, and there's bad. Another review here mentioned that, "when it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's horrid." I think those words are true here in regards this book. When I'm leaping for joy after having finished a book because I not longer have to read that book, I don't consider that a wonderful thing. It's important that we reflect on the book itself and ask ourselves, "was I the intended audience for this writer?"I think it's only fair and just to review it according to the answer we have for that question.
I want to say that the author intended this to be read by anyone, but perhaps more beneficial to particular individuals in certain places on their "spiritual" journey. As a practicing and active Catholic who tries to immerse oneself in apologetics, philosophy, and theology, I didn't find this book particularly beneficial for myself.
It was not enthralling or exciting. It was rather boring to read, in my opinion. There was much redundancy and repetition, which made me slug along even slower. The last time I was this bored reading a book immersed in spirituality was the Confessions by St Augustine (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong) and that book took me like 5 years to read.
I think part of the bore was that the author seemed to stretch awfully far to make connections and conclusions, such as sex being the primordial energy in the universe, calling God a mother, and the like. I also get bummed when I see a Catholic priest make incorrect references to to quotes (such as the classic quote attributed to St Francis).
I think the book would likely best suit someone of a secular walk who has some interest in the Christian thought of parts of spirituality. The author had many gems and one liners, one of which I liked: "It is not so much that we misunderstand what the incarnation means, it is more that we grasp only the smallest tip of the great iceberg. We miss its meaning by not seeing its immensity." (pg 75). Lines like this show up time and again throughout the read, and admittedly, kept me engaged just enough to plow through and try to find more.
June 15, 2012
This was a book recommended by a wise and thoughtful friend and it did not disappoint. I have used it for my morning devotionals and both the author's craft and content have been a rich source of delight and stimulation. I awarded this book five stars but a better measure might be the copious margin notes, underlining, and large number of colored reminder tags now peeking out from the text.
Rolheiser writes from a Roman Catholic point of view but is remarkably open handed. This is not to suggest the author does not advance a theological point of view. However, the author chooses to search for and occupy that ground common to all Christ followers. As a non-Roman Catholic, I found his critique of both Protestant and Catholic approaches to spiritual practice fair, open-handed, and quite helpful.
A particularly notable feature of this book is Rolheiser's emphasis upon an ecclesiology centered Spiritual Practice. While others have suggested we need religion rather than spirituality--perhaps a glib caveat spurred by the our current hyper-individualistic culture--Rolheiser's book clearly suggests this push to choose between spirituality and religion is unnecessary--heretical even.
A well written book, a book of practical help I will recommend to my students and friends, and a book of wisdom to which I shall return.
Rolheiser writes from a Roman Catholic point of view but is remarkably open handed. This is not to suggest the author does not advance a theological point of view. However, the author chooses to search for and occupy that ground common to all Christ followers. As a non-Roman Catholic, I found his critique of both Protestant and Catholic approaches to spiritual practice fair, open-handed, and quite helpful.
A particularly notable feature of this book is Rolheiser's emphasis upon an ecclesiology centered Spiritual Practice. While others have suggested we need religion rather than spirituality--perhaps a glib caveat spurred by the our current hyper-individualistic culture--Rolheiser's book clearly suggests this push to choose between spirituality and religion is unnecessary--heretical even.
A well written book, a book of practical help I will recommend to my students and friends, and a book of wisdom to which I shall return.
April 15, 2025
I suspect if I were reading this book twenty years ago, or even seven, I'd give it five stars, so perhaps that's what it truly deserves. It's advertised as more of a primer to the Christian life, a relatively advanced introduction. That's a life I've been living for a while, so reading the book is less an experience of successively concussive revelations and more of affirmation, of validation, of the soul and its memories saying yes. There are also revelations, or helpful reframings. I've thought for weeks now about Rolheiser's claim that people who don't go to church are theists, not Christians, because the church is the Body of Christ, and if you aren't going to church you aren't getting to know Christ. But there are many other lovely moments. Highly recommended for a Christian at any stage.
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July 10, 2013Finished reading it today.
One gem to share. "Spirituality is about what we do with the fire inside us....."
One gem to share. "Spirituality is about what we do with the fire inside us....."
July 6, 2024
This book challenged me on a personal level and also gave me many things to think about. Some ideas came together in these pages and hopefully will grow into several good things.
“We are better persons when we carry tension, as opposed to always looking for its easy resolution.”
I was challenged by this thought, because I’m generally looking for easy resolutions.
“We are better persons when we carry tension, as opposed to always looking for its easy resolution.”
I was challenged by this thought, because I’m generally looking for easy resolutions.
June 4, 2024
Complicated; I really loved a lot of what he had to say, but there was some stuff I very much disagreed with. I would compare it to a really good hamburger where I just needed to remove the pickles; enjoyed overall. :)
January 21, 2023
Such a providential time to read this book - perhaps the best spiritual book I’ve read since Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen (Spirit is alive and well on my silent retreat book selections!!) I loved and resonated with much of the content, but enjoyed the chapters on spirituality of justice & peacemaking and spirituality of sexuality the most. We all should live out our calling to be mystics!!
June 21, 2024
I don't agree with everything Rolheiser says (or maybe I haven't thought enough about his ideas?), but this is a great work. Plenty of helpful frameworks for spirituality, which he defines as what we do with our "holy longing". I think his chapters on the essentials of Christian spirituality, the Incarnation, Sexuality and the final chapter on how to sustain our growth in God are very strong. They're worth reading even if you don't read the rest of the book.
December 27, 2011
This book had some great insights. Rolheiser begins by defining Spirituality in very broad terms and showing how everyone - religious or not - HAS a Spiritual side. There is a very interesting part where he compares three women: Mother Teresa, Princess Diana and Janis Joplin, showing how they may seem very different, but it really all comes down to how they dealt with their Spirituality. This part comes at the beginning and really got me into the book.
He then focuses specifically on the components of a healthy Christian Spiritual life. He talks about the "non-negotiable" pillars of Christian Spirituality and makes some very good points as to why he considers them so.
There is also a wonderful part where he talks about how a person can be happy or unhappy in ANY state or stage in life. If you think you are unhappy because you don't have something - you're wrong. Lots of people who have it are very unhappy - and lots of people who don't are very happy. It's about surrendering to the Spirit - allowing it to descend and give you the grace to live happily with any life situation. This was one of my favorite parts of the book because the idea was new to me - I'd never heard anyone put it quite the way this author does.
Overall, I really enjoyed the book. Rolheiser is a very good writer. I had heard of him before but never had the chance to read any of his work. I had to read this book for a class, but now I'm just glad that I read it for myself, and would gladly read any of this other books. I'd recommend this one to anyone who would like a better understanding of what Spirituality is...and what it is not.
He then focuses specifically on the components of a healthy Christian Spiritual life. He talks about the "non-negotiable" pillars of Christian Spirituality and makes some very good points as to why he considers them so.
There is also a wonderful part where he talks about how a person can be happy or unhappy in ANY state or stage in life. If you think you are unhappy because you don't have something - you're wrong. Lots of people who have it are very unhappy - and lots of people who don't are very happy. It's about surrendering to the Spirit - allowing it to descend and give you the grace to live happily with any life situation. This was one of my favorite parts of the book because the idea was new to me - I'd never heard anyone put it quite the way this author does.
Overall, I really enjoyed the book. Rolheiser is a very good writer. I had heard of him before but never had the chance to read any of his work. I had to read this book for a class, but now I'm just glad that I read it for myself, and would gladly read any of this other books. I'd recommend this one to anyone who would like a better understanding of what Spirituality is...and what it is not.
December 4, 2008
An intelligently written book about Jesus and Christianity. I like this book because it offers up Christianity in a positive light, not commercialized, no hint of any social conservatism/right of center politics, and most importantly no littering of fundamentalist views. The Holy Longing speaks about spirituality in regards to Christianity instead of 'religion,' which is why I gave this book a change and I'm glad that I did. There is no phony Christian agenda evident, just a book about discovering your OWN personal relatoinship with God.
July 29, 2010
Perhaps one of the best spiritual books ever written. This book really provides a persuasive argument for the human need for spirituality and a sound foundation for anyone who wants to practice an authentic Christian faith, especially the Catholic faith. It gave me a vocabulary and appreciation for the faith I have been practicing and challenged me to go deeper on several levels. Great and easy read that can transform you very quickly!
January 5, 2016
This is a great book to offer people who have lost their Christian way or are interested to Christianity. The author is a Roman Catholic priest and brings in the joy and fullness of faith of the Catholic faith in certain parts. His perspective of certain issues has really opened my eyes. I do find a stretch to some of his conclusions to Biblical readings but his stories paint a great picture and helped me relate to his points to Christianity.
June 15, 2025
This book contains perhaps my favorite chapter of any book I’ve read. Transformation in our lives follows the cycle of Easter
1. Good Friday - the loss of life
2. Easter Sunday - the reception of new life
3. The Forty Days - a time for readjustment to the new and grieving the old
4. Ascension - letting go of the old and letting it bless you; the refusal to cling
5. Pentecost - the reception of new spirit for the new life that one is already living
Or, as Rolheiser repeats in more colloquial language
1. Name your deaths
2. Claim your births
3. Grieve what you have lost and adjust to the new reality
4. Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing
5. Accept the spirit of the life that you are in fact living
What a beautiful way to apply the Easter story to everyday life.
1. Good Friday - the loss of life
2. Easter Sunday - the reception of new life
3. The Forty Days - a time for readjustment to the new and grieving the old
4. Ascension - letting go of the old and letting it bless you; the refusal to cling
5. Pentecost - the reception of new spirit for the new life that one is already living
Or, as Rolheiser repeats in more colloquial language
1. Name your deaths
2. Claim your births
3. Grieve what you have lost and adjust to the new reality
4. Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing
5. Accept the spirit of the life that you are in fact living
What a beautiful way to apply the Easter story to everyday life.
November 4, 2017
By far, this is one of the best books I have read. Rolheiser presents a look at spirituality in a way that, until now, was unfamiliar to me. I cannot think of anyone I know who would not benefit from reading this book. I want to send it to all of my friends. It is lovely. Received an assignment to read certain chapters each week for a theology class and I couldn’t help but to jump ahead and finish it way before it was due. Hated to put it down to attend to my other assignments.
August 31, 2025
كتاب جيدا جدا يقدم المسيحية من منظور عملي وواقع معاصر
اجمل ما فيه انه يخاطب جميع الفئات
و اكثر ما اعجبني هو فصل A Spirituality Of Ecclesiology
تعريفه للكنيسة و ضرورية وجودها في الحياة الروحية وتقديمها بشكل مختلف.
Highly Recommended
اجمل ما فيه انه يخاطب جميع الفئات
و اكثر ما اعجبني هو فصل A Spirituality Of Ecclesiology
تعريفه للكنيسة و ضرورية وجودها في الحياة الروحية وتقديمها بشكل مختلف.
Highly Recommended
November 19, 2020
Exceptional, well written, balanced, so inspiring, with a deep vision about the dynamics into the life of the spirit... I do recommend it fully!
November 18, 2023
This book really challenged me intellectually and spiritually in the ways I think about spirituality. I may not agree with every little assumption or statement Rolheiser makes, but I genuinely am thankful for this book and the way that much of it rang true in my own heart. It’s refreshing to read a spiritual book that paints Biblical concepts in a way that is new and intellectually stimulating.
August 24, 2025
Beautiful insights for Christians seeking a Christ-centered spirituality.
August 11, 2024
The top review says “When it’s good it’s good, when it’s bad, it’s horrid. It’s mostly good.” I agree. It’s not for everyone. It’s not for immature believers. It’s a lot of meat and a few bones that tend to pop up in many catholic writers. But, a deep look on desire and spirituality that I personally much gleaned from.
August 9, 2025
My son gave me this book. Beautifully convicting and encouraging. The chapter on the Paschal Mystery alone is so meaningful.
September 26, 2009
Though I found a some important things with which to disagree in this book, overall I found it a very compelling and enriching approach to Christian spirituality. Rolheiser's writing is very lucid and wise. He defines spirituality along the lines of things all people experience within themselves. It's "more about whether or not we can sleep at night, than about whether or not we go to church." It's what shapes our actions, what we do with our desire (eros), whether or not we can shape it in a creative, life-giving way; whether "the disciplines and habits we choose to live by ... lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds and souls, and ... in the way we are related to God, others and the cosmic world." "The opposite of being spiritual is to have no energy, is to have lost all zest for living..." Rolheiser says that, "Our soul is not something we have, it is more something we are. It is the very life pulse within us, that which makes us alive ... It is also the adhesive that holds us together, the principle of integration and individuation within us." I couldn't help but notice the similarity between this and the way Dallas Willard describes the soul in his book Renovation of the Heart: Putting On the Character of Christ.
I'm always a little annoyed when Christian writers on spirituality seem to apologize for their Christian point of view as Rolheiser seems to do on p. 41 when he says that, "God speaks in many and diverse ways and no one person or religion has a monopoly on the truth." This statement is fine with me on the face of it. There are plenty of things one can learn from other religions. But I wonder how far people who talk like this take this reasoning in practice. Does he think he has good reasons for being a Christian and not a Buddhist or Muslim? Would he suggest that adherents of other religions take a similarly relativistic view of their own faith? While it's all fine and humble not to think of one's religion as having a complete monopoly on the truth, I wouldn't care much to listen to anyone who didn't have at least enough confidence in their religion to believe that it's the hub of truth, if not the whole wheel. It may be difficult to place a high value on both the pursuit of truth and a loving acceptance of others who don't accept our view of it, but that's the line I see Jesus walking in the Gospels. The way in following him is a narrow one. Whether or not Rolheiser believes this, his book is very valuable for Christians who do. His nonnegotiable essentials of Christian Spirituality describe a very balanced and mature spirituality with Christ as the center and the incarnation of Christ in the lives of believers as the vehicle of his ministry in the world today.
Rolheiser helpfully applies Christian spirituality to several areas of life that are "key spiritualities within a spirituality. In these he illuminates how we can work out our spirituality in our relationship to the church, in the face of suffering and death, in doing justice and peacemaking, in our sexuality, and in caring for our own spiritual life. I found the chapters on suffering and death and sexuality to be especially helpful and insightful. There are some very good words in the chapter on justice and peacemaking, but I had a little bit of trouble with Rolheiser's faith in the transformation of systems to accomplish those aims. To me, all systems seem inherently flawed and limited. The transformation of systemic evil into good depends more on the health of the moral fiber of the community and the character of the individuals who make it up. It's easy to see examples systemic injustice. I don't think I've ever seen systemic justice. A system can't make us good. How can a system change the inherent problem that Rolheiser sees with abortion (p. 171) where "a whole culture ... has chosen to dissociate sex from marriage and procreation ... wherein sex is an extension of dating, abortion will always happen."?
In spite of minor reservations, I value Rolheiser's perspective on Christian spirituality very much. This is a book I will turn to again for refreshment and spiritual sustenance.
I'm always a little annoyed when Christian writers on spirituality seem to apologize for their Christian point of view as Rolheiser seems to do on p. 41 when he says that, "God speaks in many and diverse ways and no one person or religion has a monopoly on the truth." This statement is fine with me on the face of it. There are plenty of things one can learn from other religions. But I wonder how far people who talk like this take this reasoning in practice. Does he think he has good reasons for being a Christian and not a Buddhist or Muslim? Would he suggest that adherents of other religions take a similarly relativistic view of their own faith? While it's all fine and humble not to think of one's religion as having a complete monopoly on the truth, I wouldn't care much to listen to anyone who didn't have at least enough confidence in their religion to believe that it's the hub of truth, if not the whole wheel. It may be difficult to place a high value on both the pursuit of truth and a loving acceptance of others who don't accept our view of it, but that's the line I see Jesus walking in the Gospels. The way in following him is a narrow one. Whether or not Rolheiser believes this, his book is very valuable for Christians who do. His nonnegotiable essentials of Christian Spirituality describe a very balanced and mature spirituality with Christ as the center and the incarnation of Christ in the lives of believers as the vehicle of his ministry in the world today.
Rolheiser helpfully applies Christian spirituality to several areas of life that are "key spiritualities within a spirituality. In these he illuminates how we can work out our spirituality in our relationship to the church, in the face of suffering and death, in doing justice and peacemaking, in our sexuality, and in caring for our own spiritual life. I found the chapters on suffering and death and sexuality to be especially helpful and insightful. There are some very good words in the chapter on justice and peacemaking, but I had a little bit of trouble with Rolheiser's faith in the transformation of systems to accomplish those aims. To me, all systems seem inherently flawed and limited. The transformation of systemic evil into good depends more on the health of the moral fiber of the community and the character of the individuals who make it up. It's easy to see examples systemic injustice. I don't think I've ever seen systemic justice. A system can't make us good. How can a system change the inherent problem that Rolheiser sees with abortion (p. 171) where "a whole culture ... has chosen to dissociate sex from marriage and procreation ... wherein sex is an extension of dating, abortion will always happen."?
In spite of minor reservations, I value Rolheiser's perspective on Christian spirituality very much. This is a book I will turn to again for refreshment and spiritual sustenance.
September 29, 2025
“She had a powerful energy, but it was a very disciplined one”
“we are not restful creatures who sometimes get restless, fulfilled people who sometimes are dissatisfied, serene people who sometimes experience disquiet. Rather, we are restless people who occasionally find rest, dissatisfied people who occasionally find fulfillment, and disquieted people who occasionally find serenity. We do not naturally default into rest, satisfaction, and quiet but into their opposite”
“Desire is always stronger than satisfaction.”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth”
“Thus, not only God in heaven is being petitioned and asked to act. We are also charging ourselves, as part of the Body of Christ, with some responsibility for answering the prayer. To pray as a Christian demands concrete involvement in trying to bring about what is pleaded for in the prayer.”
“Spirituality concerns what we do with desire”
“someone who can will the one thing”
“Every choice is a renunciation”
“To choose one thing is to turn one’s back on many others”
“Spirituality is about what we do with the fire inside of us, about how we channel our eros. And how we do channel it, the disciplines and habits we choose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds, and souls, and to a greater integration or disintegration in the way we are related to God, others, and the cosmic world”
“the human person as evolution become conscious of itself.”
“not separate from nature, but merely that part of nature that can think, feel, and act self-consciously”
“The opposite of depression is delight, being spontaneously surprised by the goodness and beauty of living”
“Rare, in our culture, is the person who has found just the right balance between self-assertion and self-effacement, between egoism and altruism, between self-development and commitment, between creativity and sacrifice, between being too hard on herself or being too easy on herself, between being too high or too low, between clinging dependence and unhealthy independence”
“What is wrong with pornography is that it overstimulates our archetypal erotic energies, leaving us no choice but to act out those energies (as a mythical god or goddess might, without restraints and limits) or to go into a depression, namely, to turn on the cooling mechanisms inside of us, restrain those energies, and then sizzle in inchoate frustration as they slowly cool.”
“conspiracy against the interior life”
“not conducive to interiority and depth”
“narcissism means excessive self-preoccupation; pragmatism means excessive focus on work, achievement, and the practical concerns of life; and restlessness means an excessive greed for experience”
“THE DIVORCE BETWEEN RELIGION AND EROS”
“I’m too full of life to ever be truly religious. I love life too much, am too sexual, too physical, too red-blooded, and too much rooted in this earth and what it offers to ever be really spiritual”
“God became a piece of bread, a cup of cool water, a warm tunic, a hut, and in front of the hut, a woman nursing an infant. ‘Thank you, Lord,’ the pauper whispered. ‘You humbled yourself for my sake. You became bread, water, a warm tunic and a wife and a child in order that I might see you”
“God is still here, in the flesh, just as real and just as physical, as God was in Jesus.”
“us. In the body of believers and in the Eucharist, God still has physical skin and can still be physically seen, touched, smelled, heard, and tasted.”
“he Christian God can be seen, heard, felt, tasted, and smelled through the senses. The Christian God has some skin.”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth. We are praying through all of these. Thus, not only God in heaven is being petitioned and asked to act. We are also charging ourselves, as part of the Body of Christ, with some responsibility for answering the prayer. To pray as a Christian demands concrete involvement in trying to bring about ”
“God is here and God does love you. When I touch you, God will touch you”
“giving incarnational flesh, skin, to his prayer”
“Your touch is Christ’s touch”
“watch my face and there you will see the face of someone who loves you”
“a compromised institution, one with too much blood on its hands, spiritual fat on its body, and too many skeletons in its closet”
“A healthy sexuality is the single most powerful vehicle there is to lead us to selflessness and joy”
“Sexuality as an Awareness of Having Been Cut Off”
“Latin, secare means (literally) “to cut off,” “to sever,” “to amputate,” “to disconnect from the whole.” To be “sexed,” therefore, literally means to be cut off, to be severed from, to be amputated from the whole”
“Sexuality is an all-encompassing energy inside of us. In one sense, it is identifiable with the principle of life itself. It is the drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immorality, joy, delight, humor, and self-transcendence”
“Sex is the energy inside of us that works incessantly against our being alone.”
“Sexuality is as much about having friends as it is about having lovers”
“that, in our sexuality and our creativity, we are ultimately trying to make love to everyone.”
“In heaven, unlike life here on earth where that is not possible, our sexuality will finally be able to embrace everyone”
“In loving, the ultimate wound is not to be able to marry everyone”
“If we go the route of promiscuity, eventually, we will embrace no one”
“Our restlessness is the source of all of our energies”
“Once we have accepted that we are fundamentally dis-eased in that nothing in this life will ever fully complete us, we need then give up our messianic expectations and demands”
“We will stop demanding that our spouses, families, friends, and jobs give us what only God can give us”
“What did Christ try to reveal through the way he incarnated himself as a sexual being?”
“the first task of a man and a woman in marriage, or in any deep relationship, is to console each other for the fact that they cannot not disappoint each other.”
“what we really need from each other in deep relationships is precisely a confessor, someone before whom we can stop having to lie”
“A loneliness will always exist”
“Do not lie, be weak if you must, but sin boldly! If we are honest, eventually God, truth, and love will find us.”
“To have a living faith today one must at some point in his or her life make a deep, private act of faith”
“What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction”
“invites us always to be in that space where God can help us after we have sinned, namely, in a state where we honestly admit our sin.”
“Be careful not to lie, not to distort the truth, because the real danger is that, by lying, you begin to distort and warp your own hearts”
“What becomes unforgivable about that is not that God does not want to forgive, but that you no longer want to be forgiven”
“warning against sustained dishonesty and rationalization”
“beyond the rational. Only an older, premodern language—with words that speak of angels and demons, blessings and exorcisms, and of sacred rivers beyond time—can give some help to the imagination here; because, indeed, something real happens in ritual.”
“people who go to mass daily are there in order to not fall apart.”
“I go there to stay alive. I go there because, if I don’t, I will eventually destroy myself”
“Eucharist is these things, but it is more: It is also a ritual, a container, a sustainer, a coming together which keeps us, in ways that we cannot explain rationally, from falling apart”
“predictable, repetitive, simple, straightforward, and brief.”
“not novelty, but rhythm; not the current, but the timeless; and not the emotional, but the archetypal.”
“we see what’s inside us. I think about God all day and when I look out that is what I see”
“To have the courage to let ourselves be embraced when we are sinful and bitter is to, first of all, know a God who—as Jesus, Julian of Norwich, Rembrandt, and Henri Nouwen assure us—is both a blessing Father and a caressing Mother, who sees with the eyes of the heart”
“we are not restful creatures who sometimes get restless, fulfilled people who sometimes are dissatisfied, serene people who sometimes experience disquiet. Rather, we are restless people who occasionally find rest, dissatisfied people who occasionally find fulfillment, and disquieted people who occasionally find serenity. We do not naturally default into rest, satisfaction, and quiet but into their opposite”
“Desire is always stronger than satisfaction.”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth”
“Thus, not only God in heaven is being petitioned and asked to act. We are also charging ourselves, as part of the Body of Christ, with some responsibility for answering the prayer. To pray as a Christian demands concrete involvement in trying to bring about what is pleaded for in the prayer.”
“Spirituality concerns what we do with desire”
“someone who can will the one thing”
“Every choice is a renunciation”
“To choose one thing is to turn one’s back on many others”
“Spirituality is about what we do with the fire inside of us, about how we channel our eros. And how we do channel it, the disciplines and habits we choose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds, and souls, and to a greater integration or disintegration in the way we are related to God, others, and the cosmic world”
“the human person as evolution become conscious of itself.”
“not separate from nature, but merely that part of nature that can think, feel, and act self-consciously”
“The opposite of depression is delight, being spontaneously surprised by the goodness and beauty of living”
“Rare, in our culture, is the person who has found just the right balance between self-assertion and self-effacement, between egoism and altruism, between self-development and commitment, between creativity and sacrifice, between being too hard on herself or being too easy on herself, between being too high or too low, between clinging dependence and unhealthy independence”
“What is wrong with pornography is that it overstimulates our archetypal erotic energies, leaving us no choice but to act out those energies (as a mythical god or goddess might, without restraints and limits) or to go into a depression, namely, to turn on the cooling mechanisms inside of us, restrain those energies, and then sizzle in inchoate frustration as they slowly cool.”
“conspiracy against the interior life”
“not conducive to interiority and depth”
“narcissism means excessive self-preoccupation; pragmatism means excessive focus on work, achievement, and the practical concerns of life; and restlessness means an excessive greed for experience”
“THE DIVORCE BETWEEN RELIGION AND EROS”
“I’m too full of life to ever be truly religious. I love life too much, am too sexual, too physical, too red-blooded, and too much rooted in this earth and what it offers to ever be really spiritual”
“God became a piece of bread, a cup of cool water, a warm tunic, a hut, and in front of the hut, a woman nursing an infant. ‘Thank you, Lord,’ the pauper whispered. ‘You humbled yourself for my sake. You became bread, water, a warm tunic and a wife and a child in order that I might see you”
“God is still here, in the flesh, just as real and just as physical, as God was in Jesus.”
“us. In the body of believers and in the Eucharist, God still has physical skin and can still be physically seen, touched, smelled, heard, and tasted.”
“he Christian God can be seen, heard, felt, tasted, and smelled through the senses. The Christian God has some skin.”
“When we pray “through Christ” we are praying through the Body of Christ, which then includes Jesus, the Eucharist, and the body of believers (ourselves) here on earth. We are praying through all of these. Thus, not only God in heaven is being petitioned and asked to act. We are also charging ourselves, as part of the Body of Christ, with some responsibility for answering the prayer. To pray as a Christian demands concrete involvement in trying to bring about ”
“God is here and God does love you. When I touch you, God will touch you”
“giving incarnational flesh, skin, to his prayer”
“Your touch is Christ’s touch”
“watch my face and there you will see the face of someone who loves you”
“a compromised institution, one with too much blood on its hands, spiritual fat on its body, and too many skeletons in its closet”
“A healthy sexuality is the single most powerful vehicle there is to lead us to selflessness and joy”
“Sexuality as an Awareness of Having Been Cut Off”
“Latin, secare means (literally) “to cut off,” “to sever,” “to amputate,” “to disconnect from the whole.” To be “sexed,” therefore, literally means to be cut off, to be severed from, to be amputated from the whole”
“Sexuality is an all-encompassing energy inside of us. In one sense, it is identifiable with the principle of life itself. It is the drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immorality, joy, delight, humor, and self-transcendence”
“Sex is the energy inside of us that works incessantly against our being alone.”
“Sexuality is as much about having friends as it is about having lovers”
“that, in our sexuality and our creativity, we are ultimately trying to make love to everyone.”
“In heaven, unlike life here on earth where that is not possible, our sexuality will finally be able to embrace everyone”
“In loving, the ultimate wound is not to be able to marry everyone”
“If we go the route of promiscuity, eventually, we will embrace no one”
“Our restlessness is the source of all of our energies”
“Once we have accepted that we are fundamentally dis-eased in that nothing in this life will ever fully complete us, we need then give up our messianic expectations and demands”
“We will stop demanding that our spouses, families, friends, and jobs give us what only God can give us”
“What did Christ try to reveal through the way he incarnated himself as a sexual being?”
“the first task of a man and a woman in marriage, or in any deep relationship, is to console each other for the fact that they cannot not disappoint each other.”
“what we really need from each other in deep relationships is precisely a confessor, someone before whom we can stop having to lie”
“A loneliness will always exist”
“Do not lie, be weak if you must, but sin boldly! If we are honest, eventually God, truth, and love will find us.”
“To have a living faith today one must at some point in his or her life make a deep, private act of faith”
“What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction”
“invites us always to be in that space where God can help us after we have sinned, namely, in a state where we honestly admit our sin.”
“Be careful not to lie, not to distort the truth, because the real danger is that, by lying, you begin to distort and warp your own hearts”
“What becomes unforgivable about that is not that God does not want to forgive, but that you no longer want to be forgiven”
“warning against sustained dishonesty and rationalization”
“beyond the rational. Only an older, premodern language—with words that speak of angels and demons, blessings and exorcisms, and of sacred rivers beyond time—can give some help to the imagination here; because, indeed, something real happens in ritual.”
“people who go to mass daily are there in order to not fall apart.”
“I go there to stay alive. I go there because, if I don’t, I will eventually destroy myself”
“Eucharist is these things, but it is more: It is also a ritual, a container, a sustainer, a coming together which keeps us, in ways that we cannot explain rationally, from falling apart”
“predictable, repetitive, simple, straightforward, and brief.”
“not novelty, but rhythm; not the current, but the timeless; and not the emotional, but the archetypal.”
“we see what’s inside us. I think about God all day and when I look out that is what I see”
“To have the courage to let ourselves be embraced when we are sinful and bitter is to, first of all, know a God who—as Jesus, Julian of Norwich, Rembrandt, and Henri Nouwen assure us—is both a blessing Father and a caressing Mother, who sees with the eyes of the heart”
October 26, 2020
Ronald Rolheiser wants us to redefine spirituality. Most of us think of spirituality as something that happens in the locus of our mind through our beliefs, Rolheiser believes that spirituality is better understood as our desire, “an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostalgia…”
“Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with that desire… Spirituality is about what we do with our unrest.” While Rolheiser’s language might feel raw, he is in a strong tradition going back to Augustine of those who believe that the seat of the Christian life is found in our affections rather than our minds. Rolheiser goes so far as to talk about spirituality as channeled eros. In Kierkegaard’s words, a saint is someone who “can will the one thing.”
Our tendency, Rolheiser says, is to will many things, fracturing the object of our desire among many things. Written in 1999, Rolheiser’s words are all the more important today, "What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction with sports, sit-coms, and talk shows. These are the anti-mystical forces of our time.” When we are able to desire one thing, the only thing that can satisfy those desires, God himself, we have our eros satisfied.
After building this argument, Rolheiser spends the rest of the book talking about how we are do that. He walks through the church, the incarnation, working for justice, and even sexuality as means to the healthy and properly focused Christian life.
The modern reader might be surprised how significant a place Rolheiser gives the church in his exploration of spirituality. It is a refreshing counter-point to most writing on spirituality today. He says, “Spirituality, for a Christian, can never be an individualistic quest, the pursuit of God outside of community, family, and church.” And again, Without church, we have more private fantasy than real faith."
Rolheiser is an engaging writer. He’s honest, memorable, and pulls from a deep theological well. For instance, about sexuality he says, “[Sex] either gives life or it takes it away. It can never be casual, but is either a sacrament or a destructive act.”
That said, Rolheiser’s mysticism is problematic at times, he presses the church as the body of Christ to a place that most Protestants (myself included) would be uncomfortable with. For instance, “Jesus is referring to his body precisely insofar as it is not simply his sinless, glorified body in heaven, nor simply a sterilized, white communion wafer in a church. What we are being asked ‘to eat’ is that other part of his body, the community, the flawed body of believers here on earth.”
In addition, Rolheiser’s mystical leanings also tend to have him flattening or, at times, altogether eliminating the clear injunctions in the New Testament to proclaim our faith. He follows the (apocryphal) advice, “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” Unhelpful and unbiblical advice, to be sure.
That said, I understood why a number of my friends are so influenced by Rolheiser. He has a unique and poetic way of clarifying challenging issues and sparking the affections of our hearts toward Christ and his church.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live
“Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with that desire… Spirituality is about what we do with our unrest.” While Rolheiser’s language might feel raw, he is in a strong tradition going back to Augustine of those who believe that the seat of the Christian life is found in our affections rather than our minds. Rolheiser goes so far as to talk about spirituality as channeled eros. In Kierkegaard’s words, a saint is someone who “can will the one thing.”
Our tendency, Rolheiser says, is to will many things, fracturing the object of our desire among many things. Written in 1999, Rolheiser’s words are all the more important today, "What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction with sports, sit-coms, and talk shows. These are the anti-mystical forces of our time.” When we are able to desire one thing, the only thing that can satisfy those desires, God himself, we have our eros satisfied.
After building this argument, Rolheiser spends the rest of the book talking about how we are do that. He walks through the church, the incarnation, working for justice, and even sexuality as means to the healthy and properly focused Christian life.
The modern reader might be surprised how significant a place Rolheiser gives the church in his exploration of spirituality. It is a refreshing counter-point to most writing on spirituality today. He says, “Spirituality, for a Christian, can never be an individualistic quest, the pursuit of God outside of community, family, and church.” And again, Without church, we have more private fantasy than real faith."
Rolheiser is an engaging writer. He’s honest, memorable, and pulls from a deep theological well. For instance, about sexuality he says, “[Sex] either gives life or it takes it away. It can never be casual, but is either a sacrament or a destructive act.”
That said, Rolheiser’s mysticism is problematic at times, he presses the church as the body of Christ to a place that most Protestants (myself included) would be uncomfortable with. For instance, “Jesus is referring to his body precisely insofar as it is not simply his sinless, glorified body in heaven, nor simply a sterilized, white communion wafer in a church. What we are being asked ‘to eat’ is that other part of his body, the community, the flawed body of believers here on earth.”
In addition, Rolheiser’s mystical leanings also tend to have him flattening or, at times, altogether eliminating the clear injunctions in the New Testament to proclaim our faith. He follows the (apocryphal) advice, “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” Unhelpful and unbiblical advice, to be sure.
That said, I understood why a number of my friends are so influenced by Rolheiser. He has a unique and poetic way of clarifying challenging issues and sparking the affections of our hearts toward Christ and his church.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live
April 29, 2019
“Spirituality is, ultimately about what we do with that desire...about what we do with the fire inside of us...how do we channel it, the disciplines and habits we chose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds, souls...in the way we are related to God [and] others...”
Very Helpful.
Very Helpful.
January 30, 2023
While I don’t agree with all of Rolheiser’s theological points—particularly his soteriology—and at times, the author’s personal denominational biases make the work less than ecumenical, this is a book that ought to be on every Christian’s shelf.
What sets Rolheiser’s book apart is that he is concerned with the base desires and yearnings that undergird all quests for spiritual formation.
Rolheiser first convinces his readers that all are on a spiritual journey. That spirituality isn’t reserved only for the pious or those cloistered in the Ivory Tower. Rather, spirituality is inherently earthy, tangible, guttural. Perhaps the greatest section of this book deals with the full implications of the Incarnation on a Christian spirituality. This book brings the spiritual journey out of the clouds and onto the ground of every day life.
What sets Rolheiser’s book apart is that he is concerned with the base desires and yearnings that undergird all quests for spiritual formation.
Rolheiser first convinces his readers that all are on a spiritual journey. That spirituality isn’t reserved only for the pious or those cloistered in the Ivory Tower. Rather, spirituality is inherently earthy, tangible, guttural. Perhaps the greatest section of this book deals with the full implications of the Incarnation on a Christian spirituality. This book brings the spiritual journey out of the clouds and onto the ground of every day life.
December 16, 2018
Overall I loved it. Being protestant I don't agree with all positions or ways of thinking about every subject, but that being said... WOW. I LOVED it. The opening on DESIRE and EROS and placing those in deeply important places in our Christ-following categories is HUGE. Your spirituality is what you do with your desire. So Good. The way he writes engages your doubt and your secularism and confronts them while inviting your whole humanity into the process. Really excellent. The chapter on the spirituality on sexuality is worth the price alone. Be discerning but please read this.
January 14, 2024
In his book, Rolheiser fearlessly explores the complexities of human existence. Chapter Seven provides a compassionate approach to grieving, drawing inspiration from the gospel story. Chapter Ten fearlessly addresses the taboo subject of masturbation from a Christian perspective. Tailored for Christians, especially those in later stages of life, this book offers profound insights into life's challenges, blending spiritual guidance with practical reflections. Rolheiser's honest exploration makes it a valuable companion for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the human condition.
January 30, 2024
oh man. a friend recommended this and i'm not sure why now. chapter 6 in particular is hot garbage. it reminds me of the WFH argument right now that's like "you have to come back to the office to see people and interact with others" only his version is "attending church is the only way you'll ever be part of a community that's also a family and also a marriage (?)" hard pass buddy. also severely not trauma informed.
on the other hand, he has a lot of thoughtful things to say about listening to your mystical heart and quotes some of my absolute favorites.
on the other hand, he has a lot of thoughtful things to say about listening to your mystical heart and quotes some of my absolute favorites.
September 13, 2013
As is frequently the case, this book came to me just at a time when I needed it the most. Father Rolheiser's loving, intelligent writings are the perfect antidote for the "crazy Christians" who seem to be the public face of faith in the US right now. His God is loving, intelligent, and expansive--I will return to this book many times when I need a "tune-up" from cynicism and reassurance that ignorance and intolerance are never a part of following Christ.
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