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Unplayable Lies
Forty-one essays on golf. Half of the essays are brand new, the others are all reworked and rewritten, based on pieces that were originally published in Golf Digest . Often biting, usually cranky, always hilarious and surprising—this is Dan Jenkins at his best, writing about the sport he loves the most.
"I've always wanted to do something for the golfer who has everything. I thought about a suede golf cart, or maybe a pair of cashmere Footjoys. Then I settled on writing this book." So begins Dan Jenkins's latest—and funniest—collection of golf essays. The book consists of thirty-eight essays, all of them, as Dan says in the first essay, are "literally throbbing with opinion."
In this book Dan delves into the greatest rounds of golf he's ever seen; the funniest things said on a golf course; the rivalries on tour and in the press box; the game's most magical moments—and its most absurd. Unplayable Lies is an ode to the game Jenkins loves. But it is Dan Jenkins, so nothing—even the game of golf—can escape his wrath, his critical eye, or his acerbic pen. The best way to describe it is to turn the book over to Mr.
In "Titanic and I"—probably the most hilarious and surprising essay in the book, telling true stories of Titanic gambler, golf hustler, accused murderer, legendary storyteller—Dan explains how Titanic would win a wager by saying he could knock a bird off a telephone "Titanic would drop a ball on the ground and take out his four-wood, waggle it, and pretend to aim at the bird on the wire. When some sucker would bet him he couldn't do it, Ti would pull out a gun he carried and shoot the bird off the wire."
In "The Greatest Rounds": "Show me a man who doesn't know what Arnold did in the last round of the '60 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, and I'll show you a soccer fan in Paraguay."
This is a perfect follow up to His Ownself . It even has an Introduction by Sally Jenkins, one of the country's top sportswriters and Dan's own darling daughter.
"I've always wanted to do something for the golfer who has everything. I thought about a suede golf cart, or maybe a pair of cashmere Footjoys. Then I settled on writing this book." So begins Dan Jenkins's latest—and funniest—collection of golf essays. The book consists of thirty-eight essays, all of them, as Dan says in the first essay, are "literally throbbing with opinion."
In this book Dan delves into the greatest rounds of golf he's ever seen; the funniest things said on a golf course; the rivalries on tour and in the press box; the game's most magical moments—and its most absurd. Unplayable Lies is an ode to the game Jenkins loves. But it is Dan Jenkins, so nothing—even the game of golf—can escape his wrath, his critical eye, or his acerbic pen. The best way to describe it is to turn the book over to Mr.
In "Titanic and I"—probably the most hilarious and surprising essay in the book, telling true stories of Titanic gambler, golf hustler, accused murderer, legendary storyteller—Dan explains how Titanic would win a wager by saying he could knock a bird off a telephone "Titanic would drop a ball on the ground and take out his four-wood, waggle it, and pretend to aim at the bird on the wire. When some sucker would bet him he couldn't do it, Ti would pull out a gun he carried and shoot the bird off the wire."
In "The Greatest Rounds": "Show me a man who doesn't know what Arnold did in the last round of the '60 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, and I'll show you a soccer fan in Paraguay."
This is a perfect follow up to His Ownself . It even has an Introduction by Sally Jenkins, one of the country's top sportswriters and Dan's own darling daughter.
- GenresSportsNonfiction
272 pages, Hardcover
First published March 17, 2015
58 people are currently reading
106 people want to read
About the author
Dan Jenkins
80 books54 followersDan Jenkins was an American author and sportswriter, most notably for Sports Illustrated.
Jenkins was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, where he attended R.L. Paschal High School and Texas Christian University (TCU), where he played on the varsity golf team. Jenkins worked for many publications including the Fort Worth Press, Dallas Times Herald, Playboy, and Sports Illustrated. In 1985 he retired from Sports Illustrated and began writing books full-time and maintained a monthly column in Golf Digest magazine.
Larry King called Jenkins "the quintessential Sports Illustrated writer" and "the best sportswriter in America." Jenkins authored numerous works and over 500 articles for Sports Illustrated. In 1972, Jenkins wrote his first novel, Semi-Tough.
His daughter, Sally Jenkins, is a sports columnist for the Washington Post.
Jenkins was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, where he attended R.L. Paschal High School and Texas Christian University (TCU), where he played on the varsity golf team. Jenkins worked for many publications including the Fort Worth Press, Dallas Times Herald, Playboy, and Sports Illustrated. In 1985 he retired from Sports Illustrated and began writing books full-time and maintained a monthly column in Golf Digest magazine.
Larry King called Jenkins "the quintessential Sports Illustrated writer" and "the best sportswriter in America." Jenkins authored numerous works and over 500 articles for Sports Illustrated. In 1972, Jenkins wrote his first novel, Semi-Tough.
His daughter, Sally Jenkins, is a sports columnist for the Washington Post.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
March 28, 2016
If you still have your own teeth, then you are too young to read this book. Written by an octogenarian for octogenarians. The only thing missing is a picture of an old man yelling "get off my lawn"!
October 16, 2024
Brilliant on most fronts and truly enjoyable. Dan does have an obvious “good ole boy” bias toward guys like Hogan, Crenshaw, etc. and can be a jerk. But otherwise funny and a great writer with unique insights into the game of golf.
March 30, 2019
Solid collection - Jenkins knows his golf. I could read him on golf history all day and all night. Some of his satire misses the mark but most of it is funny. Interesting line in here about Ernest Hemingway
February 11, 2018
I had read the occasional Dan Jenkins article in golf magazines and found his writing enjoyable and insightful, thus my interest in reading this book. Although I enjoyed his pieces centered around the history of the game (along with his opinions thereof), I didn't particularly care for his attempt at humorous fiction. I found those pieces to be too numerous and not particularly funny. Overall a disappointment for me.
April 17, 2015
How could you not love it?
He gets to say or write anything he wants. He has "been there and done that" with everything and everyone Golf. Other than being jealous, reading everything he writes is the best way to live it vicariously. Can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work.
He gets to say or write anything he wants. He has "been there and done that" with everything and everyone Golf. Other than being jealous, reading everything he writes is the best way to live it vicariously. Can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work.
March 2, 2017
It was a fun, easy read through golf history. I enjoyed the articles and selections that actually covered some history. The 'humorous' articles weren't my cup of tea. Just not my brand of funny. Still a worthwhile golf read, though.
March 25, 2015
the chapters when Dan talks about REAL golf history are good...
April 20, 2019
When I heard Dan Jenkins died, I wanted to read something by him again. Semi-Tough was my favourite sports novel when I was in my 20s. Lots has changed since then and his red-neck outlook on life is no longer so amusing to me, but I do continue to think he was a great humour writer. I did skip over a lot of the sexist stuff, not so funny.
June 3, 2021
(2 1/2). The full breadth of Dan Jenkin's tongue in cheek humor, unparalleled wit and amazing golf history are all on full display in this little collection. Some of these stories I have encountered in other publications, but many were new to me as well. It is hard not to laugh out loud some of the time. Truly for light hearted golf nuts, this is a very entertaining read. Good stuff.
December 5, 2023
A collection of essays that Dan has written overtime is put together in the book Unplayable Lies. Simply put, when he sticks to the facts and talks about some of the things he has seen, the book is interesting. When he writes satirical essays about Golf, quite frankly, he is not funny, nor do I think he ever was.
May 26, 2025
41 short articles on the golf game that he was around for a lifetime. Dan Jenkins has covered all things golf for decades. Great stories, some true and some not. He says what he wants to without restraint. Entertaining, enlightening, and educational even for the most knowledgeable golf player and/or fan.
July 15, 2020
Amusing, factual, informative narrative of Dan Jenkins' storied, sportswriter career. UNPLAYABLE LIES (The Only Golf Book You'll Ever Need) may not take strokes off my game, but it certainly brought back cherished memories of golf's major players and classic tournaments. Well done, Dan Jenkins!
September 9, 2021
A fun read full of wit and humor. Some of it went past me and as some other reviewers have said some of the satire is a bit unfair. I laughed a lot at the description of today’s junior golfer, and other descriptions. An avid golf fan will enjoy this book.
April 7, 2019
Moderately entertaining. Some of it funny. Some of it boring. Some of it just plain statistics. Three stars is a bit generous.
August 26, 2019
He's a great writer, descriptive, funny, creative. I did have a hard time knowing which of the stories were made-up and which were real; I kept having to ask my husband!
September 10, 2019
Jenkins is hilarious
Lifetime of golf views through the lens of true reporting and love for the sport and a few absurd anecdotes
Lifetime of golf views through the lens of true reporting and love for the sport and a few absurd anecdotes
October 10, 2019
Dan Jenkins is a freaking legend!
July 22, 2021
All the golf trivia you could ever want!
You can use this book to be able to answer any quiz on golfers and their achievements. Enjoy another Jenkins book!
You can use this book to be able to answer any quiz on golfers and their achievements. Enjoy another Jenkins book!
January 11, 2023
very funny and entertaining book
So sad that the author is no longer with us, but, his legacy lives on. I highly recommend this book.
So sad that the author is no longer with us, but, his legacy lives on. I highly recommend this book.
February 14, 2017
Good review of past and present golfers, especially Hogan, Nicklaus, and Woods. Each is rated on their ability to use different clubs. Hogan was the most accurate, Nicklaus on length and accuracy, Woods chipping and putting. And Lord Byron on his consecutive wins was just hard to beat.
June 11, 2015
Jenkins is sometimes hysterical. The last essay Talking Heads, which is a parody of TV announcers and sponsors is one of those as are a couple of others. Sometimes he simply tries too hard and goes over the top with the send ups. However, when he is reporting on golf, he has some truly memorable anecdotes and some great observations. One in particular which recurs in several pieces is that the fact that Hogan really won a fifth US Open despite the fact that golf historians credit him with only four, the fifth being during WWII. Jenkins also gives us his all time rankings based on an interesting theory of "majors" which is one way to compare across decades. Nicklaus is still number one but Hagen comes out second which makes for interesting debate. All in all, a very entertaining if somewhat fact-repetitive collection. He clearly shows his prejudices, against Curtis Strange, in favor of Greg Norman etc, but who doesn't have prejudices?
January 31, 2023
DJ is sorely missed
If you are any kind of a sports fan but most especially golf or football, Jenkins stuff is pure unadulterated gold. Any book, any article, any interview, anytime he was both brilliant and a laugh riot. Hopefully he is enjoying that grease sandwich in the pro shop and tearing it up at Goat Hills.
If you are any kind of a sports fan but most especially golf or football, Jenkins stuff is pure unadulterated gold. Any book, any article, any interview, anytime he was both brilliant and a laugh riot. Hopefully he is enjoying that grease sandwich in the pro shop and tearing it up at Goat Hills.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews