Board Stiff

Xanth #38

by Piers Anthony

Be careful what you wish for...

"I'm actually a smart girl who would make any man an excellent wife. But no man sees that. No man is interested in my mind or personality, just my whatevers. So here is my I'm board stiff. I want Adventure, Excitement, and Romance.”

So begins Piers Anthony's 38th Xanth novel, in which Irrelevant Candy, looks at her reflection in the water of the shallow well and sees luxuriant midnight black hair to her breathtakingly slender waist, matching dark eyes in a lovely face. A torso coming yea-close to absolute perfection. She was man's desire. That was part of the problem.

And in the shallow magic of a wishing well, she asks her wish to be granted. Something happens. A sudden whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her clothing. She is changing, somehow. Then she falls flat on the ground.

Literally. She has been transformed into a flat, stiff board with two knotholes for eyes.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Science Fiction Fantasy, Ebooks, Magic, Speculative Fiction

295 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 26, 2013

About the author

Though he spent the first four years of his life in England, Piers never returned to live in his country of birth after moving to Spain and immigrated to America at age six. After graduating with a B.A. from Goddard College, he married one of his fellow students and and spent fifteen years in an assortment of professions before he began writing fiction full-time.

Piers is a self-proclaimed environmentalist and lives on a tree farm in Florida with his wife. They have two grown daughters.

Reviews

[Lemurkat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Piers Anthony's books have been getting steadily more and more painful ever since the unfortunately titled "The Color of her Panties" (it was plaid, by the way). Now they seem to have devolved into an old man's sexual fantasy and are rife with sexism and tedious, drawn out and erratic plots that do not flow and where everything works out awfully convenient for the characters.

Firstly, I wish to discuss the sexism. From this book, I get the opinion that Piers Anthony believes: a, men are only interested in sex, and have tendencies to seeking it even when it is non-consensual, b, a woman's main purpose in life is to find her Happily Ever After or, failing that, have some sort of sexual experience so she knows what it is like. Seriously, there is not a single chapter - probably not even a _page_ in this book in which men are not being stunned by glimpsing a panty, girls aren't going naked, using seduction to distract/destroy/suceed in whatever event that they are in. The fact that these books were once considered young adult astounds me.

Brief summary: The main character makes a wish in the wishing well, gets turned into a board (cos she's bored, right, haha, yeh...) and gets picked up by a man called Ease, whose talent is to make things easy - which probably explains why the plot is so contrived as well, anyhow, she decides he's handsome enough to be her "adequate man", and she is his perfect woman. Now, they have never met, and she is quite ready to settle for someone whom she considers "adequate" despite the fact that she really hasn't traveled far from home. So, he picks her up, to use as a weapon and goes on an adventure. Usual visit to Good Magician Humphrey (yawn) sent on quest with female companion - this time a transformed basilisk, called Astrid.

Okay, Astrid was a good character, despite her desire to snog beings she found repulsive cos it was the best she could hope for. Her eyes could kill and her scent could stun. Not exactly good wife material. She and board-lady, whose name is Kandy, struck up a pretty good friendship, cos when Ease sleeps, Kandy assumes her human form, as long as she in in physical contact with him. This man spent the entire book clutching a board every time he went to sleep. Anyway, I was kind of hoping there might be a real break from the norm and Kandy might decide that she'd rather have a perfect (even if slightly poisonous) woman than an adequate man, but no such luck. Astrid was brave, generous and eventually got a rather pathetically convenient HEA. *sigh*.

So, Ease and his board (Kandy), Astrid, Com Pewter (in Android form), some chick with anti-grav hair, her equally hairy bf (hair shirt, ugh) and D. Metria band together to save Xanth from a pun-destroying virus. To facilitate this, and make the plot even more convenient, Astrid has a dress - the Sequins of Events - which turns transparent every time she loses a sequin and when it is returned, they are taken somewhere convenient where they have to solve some problem to further the plot. Overall, it was the sort of story line that would make most critiquers cry. Along the way are cameos from a number of previous characters and many rather strange random bits, including a computer related bit that was *almost* clever, and some of which are related to reader suggestions. Eventually it builds to a rather pointless ending and the puns are saved. Woohoo. Let us celebrate. Oh and does Kandy finally get her HEA with Ease? Well, let's just say = predictable.

At least in this book the character doesn't run into people who randomly give their name and talent before walking on by and vanishing from the story forever ("Hi, my name is Merry and I can make people happy. I am on a quest to cheer people up, have a nice adventure, bye!"), most of those that give their talent also use their talent to further the plot, albeit occasionally in a small and rather unnecessary fashion.

So, with all these cons, why do I read Xanth novels at all? Why was I so excited when I was approved the pre-release copy via NetGalley? I have no idea, it wasn't like I was not expecting this, having read the majority of earlier books and watched the sad descent from the entertaining light fantasy of earlier titles into the sexism and innuendo, not to forget the formulaic plots, of the latter. Will I read another? Probably. There is a part of me that wonders: will they get better, and I guess the other part of me is wondering: how far will they go? Will they ever approve me another Piers Anthony on NG after I show them this review? Probably not...

Special thanks to NetGalley and Premium Digital Publishing for the review eARC. I am grateful, really.

[Viking Jam · Rating 1 out of 5]

http://koeur.wordpress.com/2013/12/11...

Rating: 1.5/5.0

Review: This was one of the most painful reading experiences I have ever had. A fantasy novel, set in the land of puns. Recognizing that puns by nature are extremely nauseating in there use as a comedic vehicle, the author creates this hideous pun-novel that is neither creative nor funny. It is like hanging out with my Dad (whom was born in the early 1930′s) wherein the use of puns is deemed a gift of great proportions. ITS NOT! ITS NOT FUNNY!!! ITS NOT INTERESTING! Whoa there, sorry, had a flashback moment.

I really liked the beginning of this novel, what with the wishing pool and some of the character development. Then we run into another problem with this novel. There was a constant use of the female form as a story-line vehicle and sub-plot. Page after freakin’ page was of this Basilisk, turned hottie human, whose dress goes translucent when it drops a sequin, then starts a new “event”. Sequins of Events….get it? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!…..fug…… Anyway, this play on the female form is relentless and sadly, demeaning. Every woman in the novel has this great bod whom constantly reveals her panties to the detriment of the surrounding men, where they immediately go blank and dumb like rutting Bucks in a field of does. There is this constant play between the characters of a perverse nature with no evident consummation. Piers Anthony strikes me as a severe reprobate verging on the perv.

This novel wears on you real fast. And as a bonus, it is extremely long. The cover art really sucks. A frickin’ stone well with toadstools. Really? That’s the best you got?

Please skip this novel. For yourself, your sanity and your dignity.

[Ionia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gave this book five stars, but would have given it more if the powers that be on the certain sites and Goodreads would have let me. Wait...I make the rules on this blog. I gave this book ten stars because I said so. (I apologise for when this review gets copied to those above mentioned sites.)

It has been far too long since I was able to revel in the world of Xanth. With the hilarious characters, riddles (love them) and the overall strangeness that is Piers Anthony, it is hard to go wrong. This book starts out with a few laughs and you get ever more of them as it progresses. There are those who are huge supporters of the riddles and then those who are not as much. I support thee riddles. It just wouldn't be the same without them.


You can sort of figure out how the first couple of chapters are going to go, but after that it becomes a total mystery. There are so many new characters and places in this book that a Xanth fan will hardly know what to do with themselves. As always, the humour is the forefront of the novel and carries it well.

The main male lead is somewhat of a meathead, but of the loveable variety. He is the kind of guy you both want to bonk over the head and hug at the same time. I also thought he was a perfect love interest for the female lead.

The main female character is where the board in "Board Stiff" relates and is a charmer all the way around. She is sarcastic, witty and full of life. You never get "bored" listening to her thoughts and travelling along with her throughout the story. I loved that she was able to be a brute and a softie at the same time.


It would be hard to pick a favourite part of this book. There are so many places where you want to poke the person next to you and say "Hey...you have to read this." I was impressed by this return to Xanth. It truly reminded me why I love this series so long. Also, it may comfort some other authors with reeeeealllly long series planned that it can be done and it can be done well.

This is one I have to recommend to all of you. If you haven't checked out any of the other Xanth books, please do so.

[Diamond Cowboy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a wierd little book about a super moddle type turning in to a board with knots for eyes. She lives in this state for a long while.

[Anastaciaknits · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure exactly how to review this book, except to spell out the good and the bad like I usually do.

I want to say I'm biased; I love Piers Anthony & I love the Xanth books, but unfortunately, that's not really true, either. I USED to love Anthony & I LOVED the books as a kid; still love the earlier ones - I even reread them ever so often.

But seriously - Anthony's a dirty old man - 78.

In one way, the books are clean, though they aren't as clean as his earlier books. He doesn't spell out adult scenes or use adult language, instead writing "bleep" or "bleeping". It's amazing, however, how often his characters lose their clothing, show their underclothes, refer to sex, or otherwise get involved in adult situations. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't remember his characters in earlier Xanth novels actually engaging in adult behavior, just casual mentions of "summoning the stork". Board Stiff is very different.

Regular Xanth readers will want to know about the puns. Once again, I have to say, I enjoyed how he used puns in his earlier books, but after the first dozen or so, he seems to just try to cram as many puns as possible into a given book, without trying to have them actually make sense.

Most of them in this book aren't that bad, and I don't think there's as many puns as some books, but a lot of them just don't really fit into the story. There's a particularly bad one involving women who miscarry that's just horrifying - to me, there's just certain things you don't make fun of, and certain miscarriages is one of those topics. It's just crass, especially when it was just so random. There's several other puns that are equally as bad.

But what about the story line and the plot? In a way, this book has a better plot than some of the other books, but most of the adventures are triggered by a sequin falling off of a dress - as in, a sequence of events (I hear a groan). It was funny the first few times, but Anthony repeatedly uses this plot device in every chapter, to get the characters to the next part of the story.

My other big pet peeve was EVERY new character the "quest" group met up with, had to be reintroduced to the group and to their mission. I'm not a writer & don't pretend to be, but you're telling me Anthony couldn't figure out another way? He couldn't have just written, just once, "And Ease caught so and so up on their adventures so far"?

My last complaint is typical - you know how the book is going to end, and it ends exactly that way, and all in the 2 pages.

So what's my rating? Well... after all of my complaint, I still enjoyed reading Board Stiff. It's a fun, Xanth romp after all, and that's what it's meant to be, a fun, fast, don't take things too seriously and just enjoy it kind of book. You are supposed to read a Xanth book & groan throughout it, but if it makes you forget about life for a little while, then the book is doing its job. I'll continue to read Xanth books, maybe not every one, but every one I happen to come across by random chance, and I'll continue to appreciate the books for what they are.

I received a review copy of this book from Edelweiss/the publisher.

[Marion Buehring · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book.

Although it took me almost 3 months, I did finish reading this book. I just had a really hard time accepting the 14th century view of women. It's decent for a fantasy and the world building is good but not great. Other than that, disappointing.

[David Caldwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a long time fan of the Xanth series. I remember buying the original trilogy back in the early eighties. I have stuck with the series in all of its ups and downs. I plan on sticking with the series as long as they are being put out by Piers Anthony. Unfortunately, The series is hitting a low point. In fact, it is probably the lowest point of the series.

The synopsis will sound familair. A young woman goes to a wishing well to make a wish for adventure and romance. She is turned into a board. Then a young man comes to the same wiching well and makes his wish. He ends up taking the board (the young woman can still think and see her suroundings). After a visit to Humfrey, the Magician of Information, the man sets out with his board on a Quest to save Xanth. Because of a mix-up, he basically has to wander around looking for Quest Companions and a solution for the Quest. There are a lot of problems, puzzles, and puns. The Companions manage to work together to solve everthing thrown in their way while finding time to help others and find a little romance (all with minimal violence and not breaking the dread Adult Conspiracy).

There has been an ongoing debate among readers of the Xanth series about the amount of puns. Some love them, some hate them. Personally, I am okay with them as long as they don't hurt the story. In this story, the puns have become so numerous that in more than one section, they are just rolled out as a list. Some chapters seem to be included for the sole purpose of getting to those lists. The chapters don't feel like the parts of a story so much as loosely stitched scenes with little bearing on each other. They are like a staircase in a way. I felt you could actually skip one every so often and it wouldn't matter. The only one that really mattered was the one that you were standing on at the time. Unlike earlier Xanth stories, there was a lack of cohesion to the story. Just scenes that really don't lead anywhere and then an ending that just sort of happened.

The characters are woefully lacking in development. Very shallow with the main differnce being their Talents. The Talents are either used as a get out of jail free card or are forgotten alltogether. There are other little inconsistencies as well. Things that are mentioned in one part are forgotten later in the story and then suddenly remembered. One example is Astrid says she isn't going to tell anyone that she is a transformed basilisk. Then she tells the first person the group meets(in front of the entire group). A little later she "reveals" her nature to Ease (who was there when she told the first time). There seemed to be some confusion whether something qualified as a pun or magic (basically a way to use puns when they should not have worked).

The story comes across as a mix of teenage boy thinking of sex and Xanth cliches. All men are strong, handsome, sex-craved but complete gentlemen at the same time, and easily controlled by women. All women are young, beautiful, and dream of catching a man (usually by being naughty). All problems look like they are physical problems but are solvable by a careful application of logic (or magic). This time most of the scenes seem to be (extremely) thinly veiled commentary of Piers Anthony's own beliefs.

Xanth books used to be a reliable quick read. They were always fun well plotted stories, even if they tended to be on the silly side. Even when I was short on time, I could usually burn through one in a day or two. This one took between a week and two weeks to read. Like I said, I will stick with the series. I just wish that this slump ends soon. I would only recommend this installment to die-hard Xanth fans that want to complete their collection.

[▫️Ron S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Xanth has become a truly unique animal.
The series is quasi-crowdsourced through correspondence with fans, and it doesn't seem to have any quality aspirations beyond continuing in a comfortable manner that meets fan expectations.
Who's to say that isn't a wonderful thing? A give and take gift that has gone on for over 45 years - created by a man in his late 80's. It's like visiting an amusement park that you've formed a relationship with.
On the downside, his views on men and women are of a base antiquated and nuance-free sort.

In this installment - we have a sort of traveling clip-show of visits with characters from previous editions, on a mission that can turn on a dime. So... a pretty common theme in Xanth.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

Board Stiff is the thirty-eighth book in the Xanth series by Piers Anthony. Candy is a beautiful woman who is so bored with the direction her life has taken. She seeks adventure, excitement, and romance. When she makes a wish at a wishing well, she gets far more than she every imagined. So, be careful for what you wish for- because it may come true.

The Xanthe Series is quite a really long series that has spanned many decades. I remember reading the first few books back in the very early 1980’s and was totally captivated by the epic fantasy that unfolded before my eyes. I collected all the books as each new one was released and have revisited them a few times over the years.
I can honestly say that although these books didn’t blow me away as they did the first couple of times I read them- I still really enjoyed all the adventure, magic, swords & sorcery like, epic fantasy that Mr. Anthony is renowned for.
He has imbued his stories with plenty of humour, a playfulness, lots of fun, action, some history, conspiracies, secrets, surprising developments, and much, much more. We meet so many varied and original characters along the way- the books are full of wonderful fictional beasts and paranormal creatures. From centaurs, to demons, dragons, fauns, gargoyles, goblins, golems, harpies, merfolk, elves, nymphs, ogres, zombies, and curse fiends- and a few more I am sure have slipped my mind.
The world of Xanthe is wonderfully rich and vividly descriptive. It is really well written and is so easy to imagine, it came to life before my eyes. Each ‘person’ in Xanthe is born with their own unique magical ability, which is called a ‘talent’. We follow along on many epic adventures and explore the world as the story unfolds.
I have many fond memories of reading this book/series and it’s definitely a series that’s worth exploring- especially for any epic fantasy lover who loves some fun and humour served with their adventure.

Thank you, Mr. Anthony!

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started reading the Xanth books literally decades ago. Most of my friends did, too. When I saw a new one out, I thought, "Why not? Might be a nice bit of nostalgia."

How, how had I forgotten how much of his writing was based on puns? So many, many, many puns.

Ironically, the storyline is about a group on a Quest to save Xanth from a pun destroying virus. I wanted them to fail. Anthony even mentioned in the post-book note that a lot of people are done with the puns. Count me in that group.

Along with the over use of puns, there was too much repetition (we get it, men get distracted by seeing women's panties) and very quick resolution to the love lives of the Quest characters.

File this one under "You can't go home again."

[Shanna Hurd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the most active of heroines...

I. Kandy makes an unfortunate wish at a wishing well and is turned into a board. She ends up being wielded as a tool/weapon by the hero, and can only become a ghost-like human when he is asleep. She does have some ability to communicate to others using her thoughts, but is mostly just a board.

There is still adventure, romance, and of course, puns, but all in all not as exciting as some of the books. The ending was just a too easy for my tastes.

[Ginny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great Xanth novel. Great storyline and I love puns. Thank you Mr. Anthony for your talent of telling a great story with puns.

[Leeanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review originally appeared on my blog, Leeanna.me.

==

BOARD STIFF is the 38th entry in the Xanth series. If you’re new to the world of Xanth, don’t worry -- this isn’t a series you have to read in order. You could pick up this book as your entry to the series and not be lost at all. The books in the series are mostly stand-alone adventures, and if you need to know something from a previous book, you get filled in quickly.

The plot revolves around a Quest to save Xanth’s puns from a pun-destroying virus. Ease, a typical male, goes to the Good Magician to ask for the perfect weapon, the perfect adventure, or the perfect woman. He undertakes the Quest as his service, and accompanying him is a wide array of characters, including a basilisk transformed to human form. What he doesn’t know (but the reader does) is that Ease is about to get everything he wants, he just has to realize he has it all.

For also accompanying Ease is a wooden board. The wooden board is actually a woman, Irrelevant Kandy, who asked a magical wishing well for Adventure, Excitement, and Romance. As a board and Ease’s weapon, Kandy can influence his thoughts, keeping him from being too much of a stupid dude. That’s where the title, BOARD STIFF, comes from.

For the most part, BOARD STIFF is a pretty good Xanth book. I’ve been a Xanth fan for a long time (since 1995 or 1996), and generally prefer the earlier books in the series. They’re more about the land of Xanth and its people rather than the latter books, some of which are chock full of puns. And yes, I know puns are part of the magic of Xanth -- I just don’t want to read a veritable list of them. That said, I think BOARD STIFF has an okay balance. There were a few points when I took a break from the book (pun overload), but for the most part, the plot kept me reading. It’s not the first time Xanth has been in danger, but I wasn’t sure how the group would save it.

In this book, I liked Com Pewter quite a bit. He gets pulled into the Quest, and though in the past he was just an annoying machine for other characters to deal with, in BOARD STIFF, he’s a lot more interesting. He becomes more human-like, learning what friends are. I liked him more than Ease or Kandy, both of whom were a bit too preoccupied with their dream partner, as well as matters relating to the Adult Conspiracy.

If you’re new to Xanth, you could dive right in with this book. There’s more than enough explanation of how things work, and that was one of my minor complaints. Every time the characters met someone new, or went to a new place, they introduced themselves and their various missions over and over. I don’t need multiple reminders of who everyone is and what they’re doing. Or multiple reminders that a basilisk, even in human form, is dangerous. And so on.

Overall, if you’re a Xanth fan, you’ll probably enjoy BOARD STIFF. It follows the usual story: someone with a question visits the Good Magician, sets off on a quest to save Xanth, and discovers the answer to their question on the journey. The main parts of BOARD STIFF are resolved by its end, although some of the story is left open for Xanth #39 to continue.

==

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

See more of my reviews:

[Rakib Khan · Rating 3 out of 5]

First things first, I got this book from NetGalley, so thank you netgalley and Premier Digital Publishing for this opportunity.
This is my first experience with the world of Xanth, I have been meaning to check out this series for a long time and even have the hard copy of the 1st book but somehow never got around to it. I knew this had to be a funny fantasy and a standalone book as well, but that was about the only thing I had to expect from this book. So after finishing this I have to say the book was funny and a quick read but it had many flaws too, which made the journey a bit boring as well as too predictable at times.

The main female character Kandy is a good-looking girl who is quite bored with life, wants adventure and romance and also is annoyed at how men seems to eye her, so she makes a wish on a well and ironically gets turned into a-yeah you guessed it, I know-stiff board. Then she is picked up by a man called Ease who also came to make a wish, Ease picks her up as a weapon, goes to the good magician and gets on a adventure. Through which we also meet other characters, a basilisk turned human Astrid; android version of a machine called Com Pewter; girl with a serious hair problem and a man with gross hair. The characters are quite one dimensional, as all the males are always eying the girls and all the girls just want a man to settle down with, the only interesting character was the android who unfortunately loses his edge later on. Another thing I need to mention is the fact that every other page somehow the girls turn naked, sometimes due to really ridiculous reasons, this fact reminded me of the shameless fan-service that mangas & animes get now a days, which to be honest is very sad.

As far as I can tell, one thing is for certain, as a world Xanth is quite extraordinary and versatile. There is an interesting magic system; mythological creatures like Centaurs, Harpy's, Goblins, Trolls and even Dragons; there is even some space travel in the story. The journey settings as a whole was quite interesting and always kept me wondering what to expect next.

There are some other flaws as well, the fact that every time someone new came all the characters kept introducing each other which was excruciatingly boring. The ending was too predictable and somewhat disappointing with a lack of flare. And the most sad fact is although the book was quite short after about reading 2/3rd way through I kept wondering when is it gonna end.

Xanth as a world was interesting and I will definitely check out the first few books of the series, but the characters were really dull and the story was too predictable for this book which makes me unsure whether I want to check out the next installments of the series.
This book gets a disappointing 2.5 out of 5 stars.

[Dani Shuping · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC provided by NetGalley

Once upon a time there was a man who lived in the mundane world, a world lacking magic and heroes and magicians and talking lakes, that began writing stories to introduce young readers to these things. And brought magic into the world of many a reader…including myself. Piers Anthony was the writer who introduced me to the SciFi/Fantasy world. The Incarnations of Immortality, the Adept Series, the early Xanth series…they gave me something to latch onto and look forward to when going to the library. I could count on finding worlds that I could get lost in and dream of places that I could fit in.

I write all of the above to say just how much Piers writing has meant to my life. And although I haven’t read the last 12+ books in the Xanth series I jumped at the chance to read an ARC of the next book. I missed the Xanth world and wanted to get back into it, but…as the catch phrase for the book says “Be careful what you wish for…”

I had left the world of Xanth behind because it was getting to heavily punnish. Yes Xanth is built on puns (the author openly jokes about it throughout the books) but the earlier books in the series had a serious depth to them, something that made me feel at home. But in this latest book, I found puns galore for the very beginning. Even the action/adventure for the book is built upon puns, but little depth. And while the characters do grow throughout the course of the story, it’s the same lessons that they always learn. For example the main female lead has gone by I. Candy, which causes everyone to just stare at her instead of actually talking to her and turns herself into a board, because she says that she is “board stiff” (instead of bored.) While younger readers will enjoy the puns, older readers might get a bit tired of them.

While I still like Mr. Anthony’s earlier books and will continue to revisit them, I think I will leave the later Xanth books to the wayside, for others that might enjoy them, as this book just isn't for me. For continuing fans of the Xanth series you will find everything you expect in this book: puns, an adventure, and memorable characters who will learn a lesson or three along the way. For first time readers of Xanth, you can easily jump into this book and not be lost, but I would recommend starting with the earlier ones to get the full story of the characters and the world. I give the book 3 out of 5 stars.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

As one of my friends aptly pointed out (talking about Xanth after the first few books), Piers Anthony definitely gives off a bit of a “creepy uncle” vibe. Nearly everything relates to sex somehow. In a romance novel with steamy adult sex scenes, I might see the appeal. In this book, it was more of a juvenile snickering at sex. Some people might find it funny, but it just didn’t work for me. I also discovered that I don’t find puns especially funny. Occasionally, they made me laugh. More often than not, it took me a minute to get them and when I did, I didn’t feel like it was worth the effort. It just pulled me out of the story.

Fortunately, even though Anthony’s writing style wasn’t my favorite, I did generally enjoy the story. The characters end up in new and exciting places every chapter. I was constantly surprised by the creativity of the world building. There were also a few instances where Anthony’s humor did work for me. Any book that uses humor to convey an anti-censorship and pro-Unix message is alright by me! In fact, the story would have completely overcome my reservations about the writing were it not for one thing. Everything was too easy. The characters occasionally have to be clever to solve a problem, but for the most part, the way their quests works is by serendipity. They happen to end up in the right places with the right tools to make each challenge pretty simple. Insta-love is also apparently part of how Xanth works. So, while I would recommend giving this series a try to see if Anthony’s sense of humor happens to match your own, I’m not sure I’ll be going out of my way to read the previous 37 books in the series.

This review first published on Doing Dewey.

[Laksamee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I devoured the Xanth books when I was in middle school. Man from Mundania to this day is one of my favorite rereads. However, I stopped reading the books as they got so pun filled that the plot seemed to be lost. What fun is an adventure if there's always an obvious magical solution? So I returned with some trepidation to Board Stiff and regret to find that it remains as pun filled and lacking as ever. I enjoyed falling back into the world of Xanth, even though my last Xanth read was Zombie Lover (#22) the rules were still the same, the Good Magician was still providing Answers and the tree still had delicious foods hanging off them. But what drew me to the stories originally was the romantic plotlines that would develop over the course of the book. With Board Stiff the heroine, Kandy, is turned into a plank of wood and then picked up as a tool by the hero, Ease. But instead of learning each other Kandy just immediately knows she is meant to be with Ease. For pity sake, she reverts to naked human form when Ease is asleep and what does she do, she makes out and gets Ease to cuddle with her. It makes no logical sense, and while I realize Xanth is a fantastical place the fact that the story moves along in these illogical jumps makes it less enjoyable. I love the world, I love the puns, but they can't make up for the lack of engaging and stimulating story.

[Hope · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won this book from Goodreads' First Reads program.

A couple decades ago I read all the Xanth books I could find. They were fun, pun-filled adventures. That remembered pleasure fueled my excitement to sign up for and win this ARC from Goodreads.

The reality of the book shattered my nostalgia for the series.

Over the last two decades I have grown in many ways. For instance, 20 years ago I wasn't aware of the ocean of sexism throughout this series. From the first page, reading this was a slog through the Swamp of Eternal Stereotypes. I can forgive a lot in a fun adventure story. I can forgive a weak plot, poor characterization, even a bit of stereotyping when it's in service to humor. Apparently, 20 years ago, I could forgive a whole lot of hurtful stereotypes. That last is no longer the case.

Clearly, this book and this series appeals to a lot of people. While I worry about the passive absorption of sexist, stultifying stereotypes, it's ultimately up to each reader to decide if this book is one to spend time with despite it's prejudicial problems.

[Tiamatty · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most recent Xanth book is one of the more disappointing. The series has long since fallen into familiar patterns, but this one just ends up being formulaic. There's the required elements - the visit to Humfrey and the presence of puns - but the number of required elements seem to have gone up. Now, each books also seems to have an obligation to include Demon involvement, the pun-clearing squad, and other things that never fail to show up. Even a lot of the jokes wind up being recycled, like men falling asleep after sex, or women talking about how they differ from men, and making the same points that previous books have made. The characters themselves feel recycled, too, having personalities little different from earlier characters. There are some interesting situations the characters wind up in, but with the characters being so generic, it's difficult to be all that interested.

I like the Xanth books. I've read them all. But Anthony has been increasingly phoning them in.

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I haven’t read a Xanth novel in eons, and it was fun to revisit this beloved world. The requisite puns, flirtations, riddles, and quests are present in force. It is, as always, the lightest of fare - don’t expect deep characters or complex turmoil, though there is development within our primary characters. I couldn’t help wishing throughout that the central couple would not end up together, but that is never in doubt. He is slow of brain and roving of eye; she is quick-witted and practical. In Mundania, where we are less likely to believe in destiny, they would never have been a satisfactory match.

One moment of shock was the Isle of Missed, where women who “had been missed” by love reside. Definitely a lack of judgement to include Miss Shapen, Miss Carry, and their like as offhand puns! “Not being able to make the stork deliver” and “not being very pretty” resulting in lonely women are hardly jokes worth printing. That was disappointing.

[Margaret Stevens · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy the way this author writes. I adore puns, but I don't seem to make too many of them. I enjoy when someone else likes them as much as I do and has the ability to use them well. This is a light-hearted romp through Xanth that folks who have read the other books will enjoy. Even if you haven't read the others, this book can point the way to them. Mr. Anthony is a gentleman and always gives credit where credit is due. If you doubt that, buy the book and read the pages after the end where the author notes puns sent to him by readers and acknowledging his use of them. I know of very few authors who are that scrupulous about acknowledging help with their craft. I hope you enjoy groaning your way through the book; I certainly did!

[Jeff · Rating 1 out of 5]

I used to read Piers Anthony, back in the days when his books weren't just excuses for bad puns. I thought I'd give him another chance, but as far as I can tell they've only gotten worse over the years. The plots and characters are barely sketched in as an excuse for endless, extremely labored and contrived puns. "He delivered a round-house blow. It was in the shape of a round house." Kill me now.

DNF

[Richard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoy humor, and puns in particular, but this is just ridiculous: EVERYTHING is a pun. It gets old fast. And of course, I enjoy sex, too, but this takes the sex jokes and innuendo to extremes, also getting tiresome. It's like hanging out with a bunch of sex-starved, humor-challenged, immature high school kids. And the plot drags on too long, at least the writing is decent.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I still have Fire Sail to read before completing the series currently held on my Kindle.
As with the previous ones in the series, there is a quest, the Adult Conspiracy, and many puns to be navigated.
My grandfather is the one who got me started on this series. I can not read these back to back because my mind can't handle the puns too close together.

[Keith Beasley-Topliffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A virus is destroying the puns of Xanth and a group of questers is trying to stop it.

This is the 38th Xanth book, so you should have a fair idea what to expect. This one does have some surprises, including some intergalactic travel! Plus a little more sex than usual. Still, lots of fun and character growth as they work through the quest.

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and funny, as always.

[Jiří Pavlovský · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sérii Xanth jsem četl v mládí v polštině. Ještě dodnes mám asi šestnáct dílů doma, tak jsem se rozhodl, že se do tohohle světa zkusím vrátit. A teď nevím, jestli je tahle kniha tak nudná sama o sobě (ono bylo autorovi v době jejího psaní už sedmdesát osm let, takže měl na nějaké tvůrčí vyčerpání nárok), nebo byla taková celá série, a tehdy mi to jen tak nepřišlo.
Abych vysvětlil, Xanth je série, která se odehrává ve fantasy světě založeném na tom, že každý člověk má svůj vlastní originální magický talent… a na slovních hříčkách. Dodnes si vzpomínám na scénu z počítačové hry z tohohle světa, kde jste měli zavřené dveře a žádný klíč. Naštěstí jste měli zavařovačku (a jar), kterou jste použili na dveře, čím se staly pootevřenými (ajar) a bylo to. Takhle se tam řeší všechno. Plus jsou celé knihy o párování podivných dvojic (obvykle je aspoň jeden z dua kostlivec, zombie, troll či harpyje) a magii kalhotek. Xanth ovládá prepuburtální erotika na úrovni shonen mang, čili mužům při spatření spodního prádla téměř exploduje hlava (taky se jeden díl jmenuje Barva jejích kalhotek) a svět ovládá velká Konspirace dospělých, která usilovně tají tajemné obřady mající za účel přivolávání čápů.
V téhle knize se hrdinka špatně formulovaným přáním u studny změní v prkno. Skutečné prkno. A nosí ji pak jako zbraň nic netušící objekt jejich milostných tužeb, aby spolu vyrazili na misi za záchranu světa. Objevil se virus, který likviduje slovní hříčky a hrdinové na něj musí najít protilék. Což by mohlo být i zajímavé, jenže jak neexistuje žádný protihráč a vlastně ani jasné nebezpečí, tak se to celé rozpadne do vzájemně ne moc propojených scén, ve kterých se vždycky objeví nějaká hrozba, která je bleskově a jednoduše vyřešena, a děj se posune zase dál. Jo a během té hrozby se ženské postavy obvykle aspoň jednou svléknou (což berou jakou součást toho, že autorovi táhne už na osmdesát).
Problém je i to, že jak mezi hrdinkou a objektem jejích tužeb neexistuje skoro žádná interakce, tak tu není ani žádné pouto a chemie. A vůbec, love interest, který by měl být v příběhu druhou nejdůležitější postavou, je v románu téměř neviditelný. Jeho místo vyplňuje spousta jiných postav, žádná extra zajímavá. Mnohé mají navíc hodně silné schopnosti, takže na cestě v podstatě nenarazí na žádnou překážku – a ve chvíli, kdy se mají vyřešit jejich osobní problémy, se zničehonic objeví něco nebo někdo, co je vyřeší a je vystaráno.
Čili, knihou jsem se prokousával skutečně „bored stiff“ a dalo mi dost práci ji dočíst. Ten kontrast mezi mými příjemnými vzpomínkami a touhle knihou je až takový, že si říkám, že bych měl zkusit ještě něco staršího, abych zjistil, která z těch dvou emocí je ta správná.
P.S. Unavenost knihy se patrně přenesla i na vydavatele – moc se nevidí, že by bylo vzadu na obálce špatně napsané jméno hlavní postavy.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review originally published in < a href="http://www.lookingforagoodbook.com&qu... For a Good Book. Rated 3.0 of 5

I've never before read a Xanth novel. As a regular reader of fantasy and science fiction I have been aware of this series. How could I not ... this is the 38th book in the series. Thirty-eight! That's a remarkable accomplishment. So when this was available I decided now was as good a time as any to foray into the Land of Xanth.

The young woman named Irrelevant Kandy is looking at her reflection in the water of a well. She sees the classic beauty that men see, but she sighs with frustration because she has a brain and personality but men never see that. Aloud she complains that she's "board stiff" and "wants Adventure, Excitement, and Romance." The wise wishing well hears her use of "board" rather than "bored" and grants her wish, turning her into a stiff plank with knothole eyes. She is picked up by a young knight who will take the stiff board on his adventures. Kandy is still able to communicate (somewhat telepathically) with her knight (though it's pretty difficult to explain who and where she is) and together they set out to abolish puns in Xanth.

Oh my. What to say about this.

The book is 250 pages of fantasy puns. On more than one occasion while reading this I thought "The 17 year old me would have LOVED this." The old man me, though, tended to roll my eyes and think, "Did they really just go for that really bad pun?"

I'm not used to reading light, humorous fantasy. I definitely prefer works with a bit of a bite to them, though I recognize that some readers enjoy something quick and fun from time to time.

There is a story - a plot - here, which is pretty classic fantasy adventure, but for the most part I found this to be a one-note novel and that note is 'puns.'

Looking for a good book? Board Stiff by Piers Anthony is the 38th book in the popular Xanth series. Your enjoyment of the book may well depend on how much you enjoy a constant barrage of puns.

I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher, through Edelweiss, in exchange for an honest review.

[Alexander Theofanidis · Rating 1 out of 5]

This series started with really good books and nice puns and ended up... like printed excrements. Pitty.

Others wrote:

In the land of Xanth, where everyone has a unique magical talent, adventures come easily to most. But two inhabitants find themselves quite bored . . . until they’re inadvertently thrust together on a mission to save Xanth from an anti-pun virus that could turn their world into just another Mundania.

Irrelevant Kandy is gorgeous, but thanks to a mental typo and an ornery wishing well, she’s now an actual board—with mind control powers. So much for her big plans for adventure, excitement, and romance. And Ease has his own problems, namely that everything is just too easy. He craves a challenge.

Fortunately, Humfrey the Good Magician is more than happy to provide them with a quest. The duo—along with a basilisk bodyguard in the form of a young woman and nefarious android Com Pewter—is tasked with saving the puns of Xanth. But who could have released a virus that would destroy Xanth’s essence, and can Kandy and Ease figure out how to stop it in time?

[Ryk Stanton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am kind of embarrassed I ever read this series and loved it as much as I did. Of course, that was way back in the beginning. The first three or four books were captivating to my then-adolescent mind - funny, exciting, surprising. But this book? I'm glad I read it for free from the library's Hoopla app. Actually, I said "read," but i should say "read and abandoned." I went into this knowing the weakness of the Xanth blueprint, and I sincerely wanted to enjoy some light, pun-filled reading. But I just couldn't make myself finish. I thought I did well to her halfway through.

I had had the idea I would go back and read the fifteen or sixteen books I missed over the past couple decades, but I do not think that is very likely now.

Shame, really - I did so want to enjoy this book by this author, who pretty much single-handedly turned me into a lover of fantasy novels and wordplay.