Coffee House Lies: 100 Cups of Flash fiction

by Carly Berg

These fun-sized stories are just right for a coffee break, public commute, waiting room, bedtime story, or any other time you want a quick trip without leaving the farm.

The 100 stories in this quirky collection range from a few sentences to a few pages. Included are stories nominated for the 2013 Pushcart Prize, Micro Award, and Wigleaf Long List. Nearly all of them have been published before individually, in numerous print and online magazines and anthologies.

Tales vary from realistic to humorous to surreal, and family-friendly to adult. Repeating themes include: people-as-animals, people losing themselves and finding themselves (and sometimes wishing they hadn't), childhood in the psychedelic seventies, reality TV, marriage, twisted religion, and of course the gotta have 'em he-done-me wrongs. Enjoy!

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Flash Fiction, Humor, Contemporary

316 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

MY LIFE AS A DUST DEVIL (2025)
A young girl's hardscrabble with humor coming-of-age story (for grown-ups). Star Garza somehow makes it through, with her loony mother, across the desert and hills of New Mexico.
https://www.amazon.com/My-Life-as-Dus...

NOMADS NEST, POPULATION: 12 (2025)
This novel-in-stories portrays some of the fallout of today's disconnected, mobile lifestyle. The residents of six apartments above a truck stop in rural Alberta, Canada, live, love, fight and run in place with each other, all as they're just passing through.
https://www.amazon.com/Nomads-Nest-Po...

ST. LOUIS SISTERS: A 1970s RETELLING OF LITTLE WOMEN (2024)
These sisters aren't quite as sweet and innocent as in the 1800s original, in this spicy, updated version of Little Women (for grown-ups).
https://www.amazon.com/St-Louis-Siste...


TALKS WITH DEAD AUNTS: AND OTHER TALES FROM THE ISLA AJAJA (2024)
The linked stories in this over the top collection are loosely modeled on Galveston, Texas.
https://www.amazon.com/Talks-Dead-Aun...

COFFEE HOUSE LIES: 100 CUPS OF FLASH FICTION (2014)
The short-short, far-ranging stories in this collection have been put together into a book, after rights to them reverted back from the various litmags they first appeared in.
https://www.amazon.com/Coffee-House-L...

HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL WHEN YOU JUST...CAN'T (2025)
For those who just don't seem to ever make it to "The End." This short guide lays out three big boosts that provide that something extra to get you there. It's like training wheels for writers.
https://www.amazon.com/Write-Novel-Wh...

STORY PROMPTS THAT WORK: 52 DETAILED, TESTED STORY STARTERS FOR SHORT STORIES AND FLASH FICTION (FOR ADULTS AND TEENS (2016)
You couldn't really get lost with these, even if you tried...
https://www.amazon.com/Story-Prompts-...

WRITING FLASH FICTION: HOW TO WRITE VERY SHORT STORIES AND GET THEM PUBLISHED (2015)
This popular, slim guide shows aspiring writers how get something polished and out on submission within hours or days, rather than only after weeks, months or years.
https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Flash-...

Reviews

[Archit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Officially peculiar set of stories.



And peculiar in a good sense. Carly Berg is one queer talent in the literature arena.

Coffee House Lies is a compilation of 100 bursts of imaginations across the skies of the minds.

Flash Fiction indeed.

The stories are strange, not normal and extraordinary. I've read dozens of short story anthologies this year.

And by far this is the most different one!

They range from being bizarre to that of a normal routine human mind to that of a remarkable streak of literature. Very sharp and quirky, humorous and sarcastic, these stories will depend upon the taste of the readers.
Different IQ folks will comprehend differently. The wavelength fluctuations of Carly's Wanderlusted mind is so colossal that she ends up writing this towering stories in such short pages.

I savoured seeing the world through the eyes of different people. And their obsessions.
One story was a case of OCD with the color Pink. Well, we all are cases of OCD with varied interests. Only some people are branded with the tag of patients and while the others continue to be called Freaks that changed the society.



Carly Berg has that sense of letting her pen do the talking freely. I bet you she is not the one to use backspace and crisscross some lines in a proofreading session. Nope, you read what she wrote on the first instance. Funny, weird, out-of-the-box, fearlessly honest - I am running out of adjectives in my pipeline.

You can read this while waiting for the boarding pass on an airport and look around for characters that match the description in the book. Some body is obsessed with their spouse, someone with a color and someone who is looking for unhappiness amongst all the joys of the world - right in that brew of people.

Yes, it is so strikingly vivid a book in terms of character description.

Verdict : Thou shalt not skip reading this!

[Mike Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flash fiction – short, concise stories as little as one page, and rarely more than four or five – is a form that has become newly popular with digital publishing. Carly Berg must be one its best exponents. She’s written a guidebook called Writing Flash Fiction that contains some excellent advice on writing in general. After reading it, I wanted to see whether she was any good herself. Having now read Coffee House Lies, I can report that she is, very.

These stories all, in some way, reflect the human condition. They can be bizarrely funny, as in Rock, Paper, Scissors – betrayal comes to light in a hair salon, and is punished, with scissors. Or Saint Jude, about a woman with poor judgement: “They gave an ounce of charity with a pound of moralizing, which made her so mad that one day she came home with the church’s most sacred holy relic in her brassiere.” Other stories are rather thoughtful; for example, in Laid to Rest, a woman carefully tends the graves she has made of people who are still alive – the graves are for her relationships with them. My favourites: Everyone Wants to Steal My Man, a masterpiece of revelation; Paris Blue, in which a maid in the Deep South takes elegant revenge on an awful mistress; and Loss of Habitat, a curious story that may make you think about people and animals and how their fates can be oddly similar.

Part of Berg’s secret is craftsmanship. Her chapter on writing skills in Writing Flash Fiction reveals how aware she is of what makes a good story: avoid exposition, sloppy dialogue, etc. (she gives examples). All that is put into practice here, to good effect. Not one of these stories has an ounce of spare fat. She also has a real feel for language. The last part of Coffee House Lies has a number of very short pieces, sometimes just a few lines; this is from Breathing Underwater:

The family danced beneath the Mississippi
Father and Mother slapped in pretty water rhythm,
Watershadow sister mimed the Mother.

... Mother-daughter swimslap dancers hardened to steamships,
windmill arms to waterwheels.
Hooted twin foghorns,
steamed off down the river.

Berg’s writing is very American. This didn’t bother me (I live in the US at the moment, anyway), but there’s the odd turn of phrase and cultural reference that might puzzle some people. Also, with so many stories in a book, there’s bound to be the odd misfire, and one or two are just too cryptic (I couldn’t figure out one called Triple Penis, Going to Hollywood).

I don’t think that matters. For every story that went over my head, there were two more that had me chuckling, or nodding in recognition. Coffee House Lies is really very good. It’s also a book for the way people read now – load it on your tablet, phone or phablet, and grab a sandwich and a story at lunch; or bite off one of these pieces to chew on the train or while waiting in a check-in line or a supermarket queue. These are snacks that satisfy.

[Douglas Goldfine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem! Delightful, insightful, thought provoking, and hilarious. Flash fiction isn't for everyone, but if you like short short stories, you won't be disappointed. Many of the stories have a touch of the surreal. A few of my favorites:

In The Shirt Off His Back, the work shirt of a woman's ex-husband returns home in human form and they get along much better that way.

In Bringing Back Beulah, a group of little girls in the 1970's have a séance to bring back a departed great aunt, and are sorry they did.

In Oysteresque, a woman who thinks she's an oyster gives birth.

In The Face of a Saint, Mother Theresa shows up in a trailer park and isn't really all that saintly.

...And many more.

[Gerard Bianco · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coffee House Lies: 100 Cups of Flash Fiction is a treasure trove of 100 interesting, imaginative stories. The author’s writing is bold and she takes big chances with her storytelling. What can, at first, appear to be careless enthusiasm, is really the result of the author’s courageous effort to produce an interesting and unique story.

Flash fiction is a genre which can, often times, cave in on itself. Those who are not familiar with this style of literature will either hate these stories or love them. Those who are familiar with this style of storytelling will see that these stories are clever, and uncommon. There are a hundred stories in the collection and therefore not everyone is going to appreciate each and every story. Some may find there are stories that appear to be senseless. Other stories will move the reader in ways they never expected, and other stories will titillate the pallet of the most discerning reader.

Either way, Coffee House Lies is one collection of stories you will not easily forget. I highly recommend you take a sip of this author’s brew.

[Mehreen Ahmed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mehreen's review

These stories range from trivial to the sublime. Each having its own merit, they would most likely appeal to readers depending on the mood and wavelength. Some stories are intriguing with an element of surprise in the end, The Horse Head Earrings for instance. Others are more common with more predictable endings. One way or the other, I think as an anthology of short stories, the book would render as an enjoyable read overall.

[Darrell Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the name implies this is a book of 100 pieces of flash fiction. This makes it tough to grade. I could have rated each one and divided by 100, but I am way to lazy for that. Taken individually, I ran across a number of them that I would give a 5 star to, as well as a few that I could almost hear the whooshing sound as they flew over my head. I'm sure with those someone else would have clicked and loved them but they had me lost. Luckily, a book with 100 super short stories, you can catch the next one.
Taken as a book, I ask the question, will a reader be entertained enough to be glad they read this? I have to answer, Yes. As I said, there were a number of 5 star stories in here, and a few that will stay with me forever.
I also didn't run across any really bad stories, just a few that had me scratching my head, wondering what I missed. Even those were well written and I assume it was just me not getting it.
I would rate this a strong 4 and a half, if that button existed. Since it doesn't I'll round up to five.

[J.B. Markes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was gifted a copy of Coffee House Lies in return for my honest opinion. I’ve never been a fan of flash fiction, but Carly Berg has made me reconsider. Each story in Coffee House Lies is, of course, brief, but don’t let that fool you; the author takes you to some rather dark places and leaves you there for days to come. Her style is refreshingly modern and she chooses her words so carefully that I felt I was reading poetry at times. Her themes are real and dirty, sometimes frightening but always beautiful.

I like how she lays herself bare to the reader, inviting us to share in her triumphs and failures as a writer, wife, and Southern woman. Her quirks are consistent and lovable, particularly her somewhat irrational hatred of redheads.

Although I didn’t quite “get” each and every story, the writing is masterful. It’s worth the read, and you’ll find yourself rereading the stories that really resonated with you to pick up on nuances you missed the first time through. A great read, even if you don’t like flash fiction.

P.S. My favorite was “Macaroon.”

[Connie Lacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m new to flash fiction but I understand the draw. And this collection by Carly Berg is quirky enough to hold your attention. Some memorable stories in this volume, including “Oysteresque,” about a woman who creates pearls. Or at least, that’s her story. I enjoyed seeing the world through different women’s eyes, getting a peek at very different lives that veer from the bored to the fantastic. These are little nuggets of fiction that convey a lot in a few words, like “Bringing Back Beulah,” about a little girl keen to bring back her dead Great Great Aunt Beulah in a basement séance. Many of them are thought-provoking. Some included people I felt I might’ve met in real life.
I received a free copy of the book in exchange for a non-reciprocal review.

[Larry Manch · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Coffee House Lies' offers some great reading in short bursts - flash fiction. The stories are unusual, interesting, well crafted, and well worth reading. Ms. Berg put some interesting imagination into these short pieces; a fertile mind for telling stories. If you want to know who really killed Marilyn Monroe and JFK, you have to read Ms. Berg's take on it. Highly recommended. This book will keep you entertained for quite awhile.

[Conny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a First Read Winner of this book and I really enjoyed the fun sized stories in it. It is the perfect book for when you just have a few minutes, like on your coffee break, and you want a quick story or you can spend hours and just loose yourself in all the different, funny, twisted and surreal works of flash fiction. I think this will also make a perfect gift for any book lover. I even caught my husband picking it up and reading a couple of quick stories.

[Narantsogt Baatarkhuu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book that drew me back to reading when I strayed away a bit. Bite-sized flash fictions that will haunt you or crack you up, and the best part is you can read'em while you're waiting in a line or commuting in a bus. Plus, the author's got a flair of style, e.g. Jesus Penis Guacamole. If you're wondering about this exclamation, you should probably read this book.

[M. Wiggins · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Thought balloon forms, fills.’

This collection of flash fiction and shorts is amazing, a head-trip of impressive creativity. Some of my favorites: ‘The Shirt Off His Back’, ‘Paris Blue’, ‘Your Valentine’, ‘Calliope: A Tale of Writerly Suffering’, ‘Til Death, Apart’ – and there were so many other clever stories and snapshots I liked and admired that to list them all would resemble the Table of Contents! Berg is a talented writer, slicing open pieces of life, dissecting them in imaginative ways, and then presents each one in rich detail. For anyone looking to read a collection of flash fiction, I highly recommend Carly Berg’s, “Coffee House Lies: One Hundred Cups of Flash Fiction”.

[Nanci · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was my first experience with flash fiction and I am not a fan. I flat out did not find the stories funny or amusing. Most reviewers have given 4 or 5 stars, but I just totally did not find the stories to have any merit. So many won awards, so I guess I just am missing something. Too odd for me.

[Robin Peacock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coffee House Lies. Carly Berg.
This is an anthology in its purest form. The author has collected dozens of her own short stories, flash fiction, into a single volume and presented them in a seemingly random order to the reader. There seems to be no thread or vein that ties these works together; they are all so very different it is difficult to categorize many of them at all.
I found some of them interesting, some amusing, some surreal and some simply nonsensical to the point of absurdity. Edward Lear excelled at literary nonsense but I fear the author is not quite of the same caliber although she has flashes of inspiration in a few of the stories. She sideswipes us with extremes of emotion, absurd realities and thoroughly entertaining nonsense that leaves you lost at sea, adrift on a fragile raft of ideas that will simply not stand still. At several points the raft was in grave danger of foundering and I had to struggle to continue.
I could not read more than a few stories at a time; I was confused and befuddled if I tried to read more than about four at a time. Unlike a novel that generally leads you somewhere, this book has you jumping randomly from such varied fantasies that it is hard to assimilate so much variation in one sitting.
If you like flash fiction, then this is for you. I like my novels to have a more traditional structure but in this instance, because I was generally entertained by the book, I feel I should be generous and award it 4 stars.

[Rajalakshmi Prithviraj · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learnt the art of writing flash fiction from Carly Berg through her book by the same name. And from this collection of hers, I have learnt the power that very short stories have.

Coffee House Lies is a flash fiction collection of very short stories which can be read anywhere, any time. In fact, each story is refreshingly different, hence you feel like continuing; its like 'let me read one more!!'.

Carly has ensured that each story is like a different cup of coffee, differing in taste, aroma and presentation. The stories range from being creamy and hot as a cappuccino, strong as an espresso, chocolatey as a mocha, icy cold as a frappe and at times both hot and cold like Viennese coffee.

Well-written, these stories capture almost all variants of an imaginative mind. They also appeal to all possible emotions - joy, peace, sorrow, disgust, anger, courage, love, humour, astonishment, and the like. Left to myself, I could go on and on raving about these stories.

To sum up, even if you dare me to pick my favourites, I can't, because each story has become a personal favourite of mine. And yes, this comes straight from the heart because, neither am I related to Carly nor do I know her personally. Its only her stories which are increasing my admiration for her.

P.S- Carly you and your stories rock!!!

[Gloria Piper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Berg's flash fiction is a collection of surprise packages, little stories that vary from vignettes and statements to poems. They flash by in a sentence to maybe a couple pages, word pictures made to provoke emotion.

They have a feel of free-writing, where you put pen to paper, relax the mind, and let whatever words surface to spill onto the paper. Among the spillage lurks a story. Flash fiction, gleaned from truth of the writer's soul. This allows for a dream logic that admits a wide range of approaches. Whimsy, humor, discontent, anger or pain.

A sense of negativity haunt these stories, often told with dark humor, often earthy.

I'm not much into short stories, particularly ones filled with demonic or foolish characters. Like any game or joke book, they must be parceled out for occasional reading. Too much is like gorging on a rich dessert. It can get a bit tedious. Naturally you can expect to love some stories and hate others. The choice is yours. They are well written, thoughtful, and can carry special meaning for the reader.

[Fulluri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique, lucid and entertaining

Ms. Berg's stories can be best described in three words: they are UNIQUE, LUCID and thoroughly ENTERTAINING. Each story takes you to a different world and keeps you enchanted till the end. Sometimes the tone is quite casual ("She could go to Hollywood or anywhere, who gave a shit."), sometimes painfully realistic and bleak ("After downing four shots of vodka, she surrendered to blissful oblivion. Like many misunderstood souls, she required these mood-altering substances to keep from losing her damn mind.") and yet at other times oddly humorous ("It got dead quiet when he toppled and fell."). All in all, it has at least one story that would appeal to you regardless of your tastes. Now I am not going to tell you the names of the stories from which I quoted those passages. Why? I want you to do yourself a favor and read the whole book! Only drawback is the table of contents: it is not hyperlinked well to the actual content and the page numbers are also inaccurate.

[Bonnye Reed · Rating 5 out of 5]

XXX I received this Kindle Flash novel from Carly Berg in exchange for a review. Thank you, Carly Berg, for sharing your work with me.

This was my first experience with 'flash fiction'. I love short stories, but wasn't sure you could contain a whole story in a couple of pages. I was so wrong. These flash stories are a hoot. Most leave you laughing, a few leave you thinking.... Several have multiple endings, a couple no ending at all - make it up yourself. Kibbles and Bits is only 50 words and sharply defines too many of my days! A few were a bit more risque than I am comfortable with - just skipped them. All of them leave you with the knowledge that you are not alone in this world - there are kindred spirits out there somewhere. Carly Berg is one.... I recommend this book to every woman I know - and will be buying a print copy to leave in my doctor's waiting room. Talk about stress reduction!

[Lynn Helton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of very short stories on a variety of themes. There are twists and turns, even in such short tales, and a lot of creativity. Many of the stories explore themes of relationships, particularly relationships in trouble. I enjoyed the variety of ways to deal with situations that the stories presented, many completely fantastical. To me, some of the stories seemed more like poems, and there are some incredible descriptions, such as "dryer-sheet scented afternoon" - I could almost smell it; and "the sun steamed water, inflating August". I also enjoyed the ironies and humor present in many of the stories.

Overall, this is an entertaining read, imaginative and creative. It's perfect to pick up when you've just got a short time to read - you can still finish a complete story or two. Of course, some of the stories appeal more than others - but there's something here for just about anyone who enjoys short tales.

[Francis Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carly Berg stories start with a sudden burst and as a reader you are immediately drawn in. It seems from the start that you are going to be led on a surreal sometimes disturbing journey? Ever had a conversation with your ex-husband’s shirt…? All is surprisingly plausible in these short witty stories. It is hard to decipher the motives behind these stories, the real world the author lives in, but this only makes me want to read more and more, to delve deeper into the mind of the author. Not many would write a story with the word “penis” in its title …Carly Berg shows no such restraint and we can only admire her for her audacity and wild imagination. I loved these stories brimming with eccentricity. I liked the richness of vocabulary and the choice of expression. Each story has Carly Berg’s powerful mark stamped on them. A thoroughly entertaining read.

[Ann Venkat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is full of surprises and unexpected twists. I started reading the first few stories, then skipped ahead to a few titles that sparked my interest. The stories are fun, eclectic and totally unique and cover myriad genres. I finally ended up reading the entire book cover-to-cover, to make sure I did not miss any stories. :)
This light-hearted book is perfect for traveling, waiting rooms or just curling up in bed on a rainy day!
You may not enjoy all the stories since the author has put in so much variety but I dare you to go thru' the whole book without finding at least 8-10 that piqued your interest and fascinated you! My favs were 'The gift', 'pink!', 'Sock Hop' and 'Cinderalla redux'.
I rarely read short stories, but this one is definitely up there with fabulous authors like Jeffery Archer and Wodehouse. Definitely recommend!

[J.C. Wing · Rating 5 out of 5]

The stories included in Carly Berg’s Coffee House Lies are quirky, entertaining, disturbing, funny, depressing … and insanely creative. I have not read much flash fiction, but I do believe Berg has made me a fan of the genre.

The book kicks off with one of my favorites; The Shirt Off His Back, followed by another amusing tale titled Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye. After these first few stories, I found myself very curious to read another, and another. Not all of them were to my taste, but there is no denying that even the few I liked a little less than the others were finely crafted and very well written.

Carly Berg’s voice is an honest one, her narration almost poetic. This is such an engaging collection of stories, and the book is so aptly named. Coffee House Lies was a very pleasant surprise indeed.

[Danielle Urban · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carly Berg is a talented writer whose words come off the pages and bring to life the stories. The stories range in size and kind. However, readers will be amazed at each individual story. Some tug at your heart while others make you laugh out loud. I was lured deeply from page one and could not put the book down. After reading the Coffee House Lies, I am left in total awe of this writer's talent. No matter what she writes, I feel curious and always love the new adventure waiting in my hands. I highly recommend this book to readers worldwide. It's definitely a must have and will be read over and over again. Brilliantly well-written and magnificently stunning are her stories. Overall, I loved reading this and know you will too. I look forward to reading more by Carly Berg in the future.

[Gillian Felix · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am glad I was asked to review this book. Carly Berg is truly a creative mind. These short stories hit the spot for me, they are quick witty and some of them had me thinking what if?

I would recommend this book to anyone who love reading short stories. They are filled with humor and creativity. Some of the stories are like fables for adults. Very entertaining and fun. Of course I enjoyed some more than others. The author writes very well and you really get into the characters and the story even though they are so short which proves that Carly Berg has a rear talent that can tell great stories using few lines. I love that it was not wordy.

[Florian Armas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coffee House Lies, is not a novel. You can read it from the first story to the last, upside down, from left to right; it doesn’t matter, you will still enjoy the process. There is humour and dark humour, unexpected endings, a long experience of life, and many hidden things to discover, some happy and some sorrow. I tried hard to make a real review, but my endeavour came to a conclusion with a bunch of short, scattered thoughts, not much different to the stories themselves. In the end three flashes stuck to my mind: The Shirt Off His Back, The Horse Earrings and Everyone Wants to Steal My Man.

[Ankush Agarwal · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first thing which strikes, is the captivating book cover. It's both beautiful and interesting and truly reflects the genre inside. Most of the stories are perfect for a quick read with an encapsulating and often a twist-in-the-tale ending. I must say, I am amazed, to see how Carly has given such interesting endings (almost like Jeff Archer's endings) to stories, which are just a few paragraphs long (and sometimes, just a few lines OR even just a few words). @Carly - Do you write Twitter stories as well? I'm sure, they'll be a hit. Also, it is interesting to ...

[Liselott · Rating 4 out of 5]

These 'Cups of flash fiction' are at the best if you read them in the same way you are having an espresso.
I don't have one espresso after another nor do I sip it. So if you got an hour to read, go back to your novel instead.
Of course you can read it in a sitting but its not called flash fiction for nothing. Coffee House Lies is perfect for when you are out and about and you got a minute or two wherever you are, plus the cover in itself is just absolutely beautiful.

[Emma Jaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

A definite toilet book, which is a compliment, believe it or not.
These stories are designed to be read in short 'sittings' and range from the head scratching, to the sublime, thought provoking and heart warming. Each makes you think, maybe a little, maybe a lot, but always about the vast and varied imagination of the author. Her ability to cut out detail, yet still convey a story is quite astounding. I particularly liked 'the shirt off his back' but 'Oysterque' was a real headscratcher.

[Frank Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

These entertaining little stories will give you a shock every time you read one. This book is perfect for a fast paced world and offers short bursts of entertainment filled with humor, surprise, and sometimes a little horror. They are wonderfully thought-provoking. Each one is vastly unique, yet they all compliment each other in a special way. Frankly, I was pleasantly and repeatedly invigorated throughout the whole book.

[Lea Clark · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a first reads book. I was very disappointed. The stories seemed to end without any conclusion. I kept wondering if there was some deeper connection that I was missing. I ended up with the feeling that I was reading a high school class free write assignment.