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The War Within
Meredith Moser served as an Army nurse in Vietnam. She went to Saigon in 1967 looking to help those in need. She didn't expect to meet the love of her life along the way. Forty-seven years later, a summer vacation with her granddaughter, Jordan Gonzalez, puts Meredith on a collision course with someone from her past and sends Jordan on a journey toward an uncertain future. When Meredith comes face-to-face with Natalie Robinson, a woman whose heart she once broke, can a love once lost be regained? When Jordan meets Natalie's niece Tatum, wheelchair-bound as a result of injuries she suffered when her Marine unit came under fire in Afghanistan, will her anti-war beliefs prevent her from falling in love?
319 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 14, 2014
About the author
Yolanda Wallace
18 books94 followersYolanda Wallace is not a professional writer, but she plays one in her spare time. She has written seven novels, and her short stories have appeared in multiple anthologies. She and her partner live in beautiful coastal Georgia, where they are parents to four children of the four-legged variety — a boxer and three cats.
Yolanda Wallace also writes under the pen name Mason Dixon.
Yolanda Wallace also writes under the pen name Mason Dixon.
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
July 27, 2023
A class book that covers two eras with ease and confidence so you can lie back and enjoy a thrilling and entertaining tale. Thank you. Also brilliant 2nd time round.
November 11, 2015
The War Within is a lovely written book which is basically two stories in one. Meredith and Natalie's long, long, long awaited romance and that of Jordan (Meredith's granddaughter) and Tatum (Natalie's niece).
We share Meredith's story as she recounts her time serving as an Army nurse in the Vietnam War. From the lives she and her fellow nursing comrades saved to the missions and various postings throughout 'Nam. The story also sheds light on Meredith's insecurities about her new found feelings for fellow nurse, Natalie, and the stigma associated with lesbianism in the armed forces during that era. For this reason alone, Meredith breaks Nat's heart by walking away from her and choosing to 'stick with tradition' by getting married and starting a family like she had always planned.
47 years later, Meredith and Jordan embark on their yearly summer vacation together. Jordan randomly selects Natalie's hometown of Jekyll Island, Georgia where Meredith reconnects with the 'love of her life', Natalie. Can these two Army veterans in their early seventies share a HEA? You'll have to read the book to discover for yourself ;-)
As for Jordan and Tatum, I'd love a sequel to this book featuring these two as their relationship progresses and further explore the hurdles set out in this book. I'd love to read about Tatum's experiences serving as a Marine in Afghanistan and compare it to that of Meredith's and Natalie's time in the military.
The writing style is very easy to follow and the era switching between past and present is without confusion.
On a side note, the close bond between Meredith and Jordan shines off the pages. It reminds me of the special relationship I shared with my grandmother (God rest her soul).
We share Meredith's story as she recounts her time serving as an Army nurse in the Vietnam War. From the lives she and her fellow nursing comrades saved to the missions and various postings throughout 'Nam. The story also sheds light on Meredith's insecurities about her new found feelings for fellow nurse, Natalie, and the stigma associated with lesbianism in the armed forces during that era. For this reason alone, Meredith breaks Nat's heart by walking away from her and choosing to 'stick with tradition' by getting married and starting a family like she had always planned.
47 years later, Meredith and Jordan embark on their yearly summer vacation together. Jordan randomly selects Natalie's hometown of Jekyll Island, Georgia where Meredith reconnects with the 'love of her life', Natalie. Can these two Army veterans in their early seventies share a HEA? You'll have to read the book to discover for yourself ;-)
As for Jordan and Tatum, I'd love a sequel to this book featuring these two as their relationship progresses and further explore the hurdles set out in this book. I'd love to read about Tatum's experiences serving as a Marine in Afghanistan and compare it to that of Meredith's and Natalie's time in the military.
The writing style is very easy to follow and the era switching between past and present is without confusion.
On a side note, the close bond between Meredith and Jordan shines off the pages. It reminds me of the special relationship I shared with my grandmother (God rest her soul).
September 30, 2017
In my humble opinion, this is the best book Yolanda Wallace has written. It's an excellent blend of past and present that flows together seamlessly. If you've read many of my reviews, you know I'm a sucker for military women stories and this is a great one. I cannot imagine what it would be like to serve while risking life and also risking your career for loving the "wrong" sex. Things aren't perfect yet but thank God we've come a long way.
This novel also deals with loving someone who has a disability and some of the obstacles that come with that. The story will make you think about that issue and might just help us think about how we view those who are disabled.
This book has a riveting story. It has romance (2 in fact!). It deals with some tough issues and promotes self examination by the reader. Those things are what make up a 5 star book for me.
This novel also deals with loving someone who has a disability and some of the obstacles that come with that. The story will make you think about that issue and might just help us think about how we view those who are disabled.
This book has a riveting story. It has romance (2 in fact!). It deals with some tough issues and promotes self examination by the reader. Those things are what make up a 5 star book for me.
March 13, 2016
Provoking, gripping and insightful!
I'm not a combat veteran myself so I don't recognize it but I have now a greater appreciation of what the soldiers in the field went through, what this war was like for so many people. But this book is not simply a book about war but also about two awesome love stories. It's about grief, terror, survival, self-effacement and love. It's provoking, gripping, insightful. The fear of a lesbian soldier to get caught, the consequences thereof, the dishonorable discharge. Unimaginable but sadly it was reality. It saddened me to see and feel the hatred and bigotry of Lois and Steve. This war affected the lives of Meredith and Natalie in a huge way, it affected their love for each other and also the lives of Jordan and Tatum. I loved how the author captured the personal stories. They were incredible moving and touching. It was heartbreaking to see how the life of Billie in recent years had expired, it brought tears to my eyes. This book is very well composed and beautifully told. Four women bound by love. I loved it and I can highly recommend it.
I'm not a combat veteran myself so I don't recognize it but I have now a greater appreciation of what the soldiers in the field went through, what this war was like for so many people. But this book is not simply a book about war but also about two awesome love stories. It's about grief, terror, survival, self-effacement and love. It's provoking, gripping, insightful. The fear of a lesbian soldier to get caught, the consequences thereof, the dishonorable discharge. Unimaginable but sadly it was reality. It saddened me to see and feel the hatred and bigotry of Lois and Steve. This war affected the lives of Meredith and Natalie in a huge way, it affected their love for each other and also the lives of Jordan and Tatum. I loved how the author captured the personal stories. They were incredible moving and touching. It was heartbreaking to see how the life of Billie in recent years had expired, it brought tears to my eyes. This book is very well composed and beautifully told. Four women bound by love. I loved it and I can highly recommend it.
March 1, 2017
This is the fourth book I’ve read by this author. And to think, this all started from me asking for and receiving ‘24/7’ through Netgallery (and the publisher). Who knows if I would have otherwise ever gotten around to reading something by Wallace, eh?
Characters
I could very well be confusing myself, but I believe this book has two points of view. And it’d be a much different type of book if those two points of view were the opposite sides of a coupling. Since the point of views are that of Meredith Moser and Jordan Gonzalez (this is the first time I noticed that Jordan’s last name is Gonzalez; took me looking at the description to catch that point); grandmother and granddaughter.
Meredith Moser: The book starts with Meredith in her, I believe, 70s. In the late 1960s, Meredith was a nurse in Vietnam. Where she met George Moser, and Natalie Robinson (along with others, but those are the two important ones).
Jordan Gonzalez: Jordan is around 20 years of age, a junior at college, someone who has changed their college major something like at least 3 times, and, as her mother puts it, has ‘causes of the week’. She’s the kind of woman, Natalie that is, who enjoys protesting and protests, even if, she might get arrested during these protests. She’s also the kind of woman who (1) respects her grandfather George and grandmother Meredith despite her own anti-war sentiments, and their own status as military veterans; (2) the kind of woman who wears t-shirts with protest slogans on them on vacation, like the time she came face to face with Tatum Robinson while wearing an anti-war shirt – though, weirdly, Tatum never pointed out her choice of apparel (as far as I recall).
Natalie Robinson: Natalie, unless I’m confusing myself, does not have her own thoughts and feelings exposed to the reader, no she’s seen, mostly, through the eyes of Meredith – both directly, and indirectly through Meredith’s stories that she tells Jordan during their summer drive. Natalie, like Meredith, is also in her 70s. She’s still actively working, as a nurse at a nursing home. Some of whose patients are actually younger than she is. Unlike Meredith, Natalie was as open as she could be as a lesbian in the military in 1967. As in, she didn’t hide her own nature from herself, nor keep herself from going to gay bars.
Tatum Robinson: Tatum is Natalie’s niece. If her age was given, I didn’t pick up on it. She’s at least old enough to have spent time in the military – long enough to have served in Afghanistan, get injured, and is forced to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair. She works at a hotel on the nightshift. I forget if her title is actually ‘night manager’, though I’ve a vague sense that it might be. She, like Natalie, also does not have her own point of view and must be seen through the eyes of another – in this case mostly through the eyes of Jordan.
Setting and Plot
“Each year, Jordan would spread a map of the United States, close her eyes and point” – thus random chance puts Jordan & Meredith on the path that leads them to Natalie Robinson and Tatum Robinson.
And so, this book takes place in a car driving long distance; in Vietnam through stories told by Meredith to Jordan on this drive; and in Jekyll Island Georgia (and, I believe, a scene or two in Savannah Georgia).
The scenes in Vietnam take place in 1967, in Saigon, and other locations inside Vietnam. There’s danger, death, tension, and romance in this Vietnam. The danger coming both from enemy combatants seen (those openly running around with guns) and unseen (those leaving bombs in various locations; many of which were supposed to be places of relaxation for the US (and other) forces); and from their own military – both by regulations (if the military finds out you are gay/lesbian they will dishonorably discharge you), and by those who do not mean well (some ‘friends’ appear to be on active look out for those who might be gay/lesbian and enjoy reporting on them to authorities).
Through the stories told of Meredith’s experiences in Vietnam we learn many things. (1) Natalie is and has always been a lesbian; (2) Meredith’s sexuality was clouded and unknown, even to herself – while in Vietnam Meredith came to find two loves of her life, one in the form of a man, George Moser, and one in the form of a woman, Natalie Robinson. Meredith had always dreamed of finding a good man, marrying, and having a family. Apparently she had both never found a man that was acceptable to her, until coming to Vietnam and meeting George; nor realized she might have any feelings for a woman, in a sexual/romantic way, again until arriving in Vietnam and meeting Natalie. Meredith meets both at roughly the same time. Meredith had a choice to make, go against her own desires for a family, and against societal and military pressure and pursue Natalie, or go with her desires for a family, and keep from fighting society and the military, and pursue George. Her decision is not exactly a spoiler – I mean, she is telling this story to her granddaughter while driving to that island in Georgia.
So, the plot. It alternates between the past and the present – at least while on the drive to Jekyll Island. Once there, Meredith pursues her old flame, while Jordan pursues her own thing – working for some extra money, and pursuing women (while also being somewhat . . .conflicted about learning of her grandmother’s feelings).
Romance
The romance is split into two couples. Meredith and Natalie; Jordan and Tatum. Plus something of George and Meredith’s romance is seen through Meredith’s story of her time in Vietnam.
Meredith and Natalie’s time together probably fell just slightly within a ‘good range’ in terms of detail/number of pages/etc. Tatum and Jordan’s relationship, though, seemed somewhat short-changed by the nature of having their story appear as if an appendage to Meredith and Natalie’s tale. Which is unfortunate as I felt like I might have, to a certain extent, liked Jordan and Tatum as individuals and as a couple.
Overall
I enjoyed the book. I like being in the present, so books with flashbacks can annoy me, but once I realigned my brain, the ‘stuff’ that occurred in Vietnam was quite interesting.
Let me expand upon that a tiny bit – by ‘present’ I mean present in the story. If it’s 1918 in the ‘present’ in the book, I don’t particularly wish to ‘flash back’ to 1908. Or, specifically in terms of this book, if it’s 2014, I do not really want to ‘flash back’ to 1967. I read the book in 2016. My present is 2016. I’ve no problem reading a book set in 2014, or 1967. Reading a book set in 2014 that flashes back to 1967 is what I have trouble with. Though, as I noted, I was able to get over my annoyance to enjoy the book. (All of this reminds me of seeing the film Lawrence of Arabia. You know what happens at the beginning of the film? They show Lawrence crashing his motorcycle and dying. Meaning the whole rest of the bloody film is a fucking flashback – I already knew he was dead; it was a movie about a bloody British dude who was running around Arabia while it was still under the control of the Ottoman Empire during WWI. Did I really need to see him die on a motorcycle to have me connect with the fact I’m looking at someone’s story from the, to me, distant past? Mmphs).
Right, distracted myself there. I liked the book. It was good. Might have been better if more time/space had been allotted to Jordan and Tatum’s relationship, but everything seemed to otherwise work.
March 25 2016
Characters
I could very well be confusing myself, but I believe this book has two points of view. And it’d be a much different type of book if those two points of view were the opposite sides of a coupling. Since the point of views are that of Meredith Moser and Jordan Gonzalez (this is the first time I noticed that Jordan’s last name is Gonzalez; took me looking at the description to catch that point); grandmother and granddaughter.
Meredith Moser: The book starts with Meredith in her, I believe, 70s. In the late 1960s, Meredith was a nurse in Vietnam. Where she met George Moser, and Natalie Robinson (along with others, but those are the two important ones).
Jordan Gonzalez: Jordan is around 20 years of age, a junior at college, someone who has changed their college major something like at least 3 times, and, as her mother puts it, has ‘causes of the week’. She’s the kind of woman, Natalie that is, who enjoys protesting and protests, even if, she might get arrested during these protests. She’s also the kind of woman who (1) respects her grandfather George and grandmother Meredith despite her own anti-war sentiments, and their own status as military veterans; (2) the kind of woman who wears t-shirts with protest slogans on them on vacation, like the time she came face to face with Tatum Robinson while wearing an anti-war shirt – though, weirdly, Tatum never pointed out her choice of apparel (as far as I recall).
Natalie Robinson: Natalie, unless I’m confusing myself, does not have her own thoughts and feelings exposed to the reader, no she’s seen, mostly, through the eyes of Meredith – both directly, and indirectly through Meredith’s stories that she tells Jordan during their summer drive. Natalie, like Meredith, is also in her 70s. She’s still actively working, as a nurse at a nursing home. Some of whose patients are actually younger than she is. Unlike Meredith, Natalie was as open as she could be as a lesbian in the military in 1967. As in, she didn’t hide her own nature from herself, nor keep herself from going to gay bars.
Tatum Robinson: Tatum is Natalie’s niece. If her age was given, I didn’t pick up on it. She’s at least old enough to have spent time in the military – long enough to have served in Afghanistan, get injured, and is forced to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair. She works at a hotel on the nightshift. I forget if her title is actually ‘night manager’, though I’ve a vague sense that it might be. She, like Natalie, also does not have her own point of view and must be seen through the eyes of another – in this case mostly through the eyes of Jordan.
Setting and Plot
“Each year, Jordan would spread a map of the United States, close her eyes and point” – thus random chance puts Jordan & Meredith on the path that leads them to Natalie Robinson and Tatum Robinson.
And so, this book takes place in a car driving long distance; in Vietnam through stories told by Meredith to Jordan on this drive; and in Jekyll Island Georgia (and, I believe, a scene or two in Savannah Georgia).
The scenes in Vietnam take place in 1967, in Saigon, and other locations inside Vietnam. There’s danger, death, tension, and romance in this Vietnam. The danger coming both from enemy combatants seen (those openly running around with guns) and unseen (those leaving bombs in various locations; many of which were supposed to be places of relaxation for the US (and other) forces); and from their own military – both by regulations (if the military finds out you are gay/lesbian they will dishonorably discharge you), and by those who do not mean well (some ‘friends’ appear to be on active look out for those who might be gay/lesbian and enjoy reporting on them to authorities).
Through the stories told of Meredith’s experiences in Vietnam we learn many things. (1) Natalie is and has always been a lesbian; (2) Meredith’s sexuality was clouded and unknown, even to herself – while in Vietnam Meredith came to find two loves of her life, one in the form of a man, George Moser, and one in the form of a woman, Natalie Robinson. Meredith had always dreamed of finding a good man, marrying, and having a family. Apparently she had both never found a man that was acceptable to her, until coming to Vietnam and meeting George; nor realized she might have any feelings for a woman, in a sexual/romantic way, again until arriving in Vietnam and meeting Natalie. Meredith meets both at roughly the same time. Meredith had a choice to make, go against her own desires for a family, and against societal and military pressure and pursue Natalie, or go with her desires for a family, and keep from fighting society and the military, and pursue George. Her decision is not exactly a spoiler – I mean, she is telling this story to her granddaughter while driving to that island in Georgia.
So, the plot. It alternates between the past and the present – at least while on the drive to Jekyll Island. Once there, Meredith pursues her old flame, while Jordan pursues her own thing – working for some extra money, and pursuing women (while also being somewhat . . .conflicted about learning of her grandmother’s feelings).
Romance
The romance is split into two couples. Meredith and Natalie; Jordan and Tatum. Plus something of George and Meredith’s romance is seen through Meredith’s story of her time in Vietnam.
Meredith and Natalie’s time together probably fell just slightly within a ‘good range’ in terms of detail/number of pages/etc. Tatum and Jordan’s relationship, though, seemed somewhat short-changed by the nature of having their story appear as if an appendage to Meredith and Natalie’s tale. Which is unfortunate as I felt like I might have, to a certain extent, liked Jordan and Tatum as individuals and as a couple.
Overall
I enjoyed the book. I like being in the present, so books with flashbacks can annoy me, but once I realigned my brain, the ‘stuff’ that occurred in Vietnam was quite interesting.
Let me expand upon that a tiny bit – by ‘present’ I mean present in the story. If it’s 1918 in the ‘present’ in the book, I don’t particularly wish to ‘flash back’ to 1908. Or, specifically in terms of this book, if it’s 2014, I do not really want to ‘flash back’ to 1967. I read the book in 2016. My present is 2016. I’ve no problem reading a book set in 2014, or 1967. Reading a book set in 2014 that flashes back to 1967 is what I have trouble with. Though, as I noted, I was able to get over my annoyance to enjoy the book. (All of this reminds me of seeing the film Lawrence of Arabia. You know what happens at the beginning of the film? They show Lawrence crashing his motorcycle and dying. Meaning the whole rest of the bloody film is a fucking flashback – I already knew he was dead; it was a movie about a bloody British dude who was running around Arabia while it was still under the control of the Ottoman Empire during WWI. Did I really need to see him die on a motorcycle to have me connect with the fact I’m looking at someone’s story from the, to me, distant past? Mmphs).
Right, distracted myself there. I liked the book. It was good. Might have been better if more time/space had been allotted to Jordan and Tatum’s relationship, but everything seemed to otherwise work.
March 25 2016
May 16, 2015
A genuine, very moving and heartfelt novel, The War Within is not only aptly titled, it is everything and more the stirring cover promises. I have to admit the best parts (for me) are the ones that deal with the Vietnam War flashbacks and Meredith's growing realization of her deep and romantic feelings for another woman, but, truly, the entire book is terrific and I highly recommend it as both a compelling and very sincere read! :)
August 3, 2016
A NetGalley read in exchange for an honest review...
A strong 3.5 stars. Strongly defined characters who mature both in age and emotionally, interesting peek into the past. I would've like to see a bit more to demonstrate the HEA, but then I'm a sucker for an epilogue. Here are some disjointed thoughts:
You would think that 4 main characters and a handful of secondary characters would be cumbersome and confusing. But they're handled with precision and are so distinct that it's easy to discern each voice.
This line, "These women seemed to be trying to make time stand still."
The startling abruptness of the storyline was jarring, as I imagine war is. The violence and distrust, how everyone was on edge. Gah. Horrible, wonderful tension. And the scenes in Vietnam were graphic. Hoo boy, were they graphic. The first half of the story was hard to read--it was so emotional!--I had to put it down and go do something else before coming back to it. The second half, while not all puppies and flowers, was at least a different kind of tension.
I don't know how it was before I came out. Reading this made me so thankful for those who came before me, trailblazing even if they were only trying to be themselves, for themselves. And I know how lucky I am to live in a time and place where I don't have to hide who I am and who I love.
A strong 3.5 stars. Strongly defined characters who mature both in age and emotionally, interesting peek into the past. I would've like to see a bit more to demonstrate the HEA, but then I'm a sucker for an epilogue. Here are some disjointed thoughts:
You would think that 4 main characters and a handful of secondary characters would be cumbersome and confusing. But they're handled with precision and are so distinct that it's easy to discern each voice.
This line, "These women seemed to be trying to make time stand still."
The startling abruptness of the storyline was jarring, as I imagine war is. The violence and distrust, how everyone was on edge. Gah. Horrible, wonderful tension. And the scenes in Vietnam were graphic. Hoo boy, were they graphic. The first half of the story was hard to read--it was so emotional!--I had to put it down and go do something else before coming back to it. The second half, while not all puppies and flowers, was at least a different kind of tension.
I don't know how it was before I came out. Reading this made me so thankful for those who came before me, trailblazing even if they were only trying to be themselves, for themselves. And I know how lucky I am to live in a time and place where I don't have to hide who I am and who I love.
March 26, 2019
Loved the story and the complicated relationship between the characters. Or maybe situation? The end though, was perfect for ending.
July 27, 2015
Meredith (a Vietnam medical vet) is a grandmother to Jordan, who is an outspoken opponent of war and student at Berkeley. They are preparing to go on a road trip together which is what they do yearly over the summer to live and work in a new place of Jordan's choosing. I thought it was an interesting concept and really liked their interactions from the start, though it seemed highly unlikely Jordan would pick out the town where Meredith's former flame lived. It's possible I missed a reference in the narrative as to why she picked that place in particular, but I don't recall it. I could be wrong about that though.
Really well-developed story with Meredith's past that is told to her granddaughter during their travels. You learn about Meredith's evolving relationships with her future husband George as well as a woman she considers the love of her life. However, this book is primarily about the acceptance of yourself as well as learning to live with the judgment of others. The second half is more focused on Jordan and her need to determine if she is capable of living with people's perceptions and her ability to be satisfied living with a disabled veteran and the challenges associated with that. There's a lot of growth exhibited by the main and secondary characters, although I would have been happier with a little more transition for Jordan, in particular. She started the story being very gung ho about being anti-war and very outspoken then quickly changed course after moving to this new town with her grandmother and meeting Tatum, a local veteran. I genuinely liked the person she became during this summer, but I would have liked witnessing more of an arc. Aside from that, very well done with believable characterizations and conflicts.
This is a story of love and loss. However, it is more about the decisions we make in life and how those decisions involve not just our happiness but our fear of recrimination. It's about our ability to be self-aware enough to see our own shortcomings, and what we are prepared to live with in the face of imperfect circumstances. I've only read one other Yolanda Wallace book at this point, but I will definitely be picking up another one, as I enjoyed what she was able to accomplish with this one.
Really well-developed story with Meredith's past that is told to her granddaughter during their travels. You learn about Meredith's evolving relationships with her future husband George as well as a woman she considers the love of her life. However, this book is primarily about the acceptance of yourself as well as learning to live with the judgment of others. The second half is more focused on Jordan and her need to determine if she is capable of living with people's perceptions and her ability to be satisfied living with a disabled veteran and the challenges associated with that. There's a lot of growth exhibited by the main and secondary characters, although I would have been happier with a little more transition for Jordan, in particular. She started the story being very gung ho about being anti-war and very outspoken then quickly changed course after moving to this new town with her grandmother and meeting Tatum, a local veteran. I genuinely liked the person she became during this summer, but I would have liked witnessing more of an arc. Aside from that, very well done with believable characterizations and conflicts.
This is a story of love and loss. However, it is more about the decisions we make in life and how those decisions involve not just our happiness but our fear of recrimination. It's about our ability to be self-aware enough to see our own shortcomings, and what we are prepared to live with in the face of imperfect circumstances. I've only read one other Yolanda Wallace book at this point, but I will definitely be picking up another one, as I enjoyed what she was able to accomplish with this one.
January 30, 2018
The flashbacks are the highlight of the book. Fast moving, obvious tension. And props for having a character with a disability and a romance between older women.
However, the book felt too short and rushed! I wanted more more more.
I wanted to hear about the obvious problems the younger couple were going you face: a relationship and facing what that means, the commitment, the responsabilities. I wanted to know what were the implications of their decisions: what would they do about school or moving across the country?
Everyone just magically gets over their issues. No struggle, no pain, no growth. Too neatly tied into a bow.
However, the book felt too short and rushed! I wanted more more more.
I wanted to hear about the obvious problems the younger couple were going you face: a relationship and facing what that means, the commitment, the responsabilities. I wanted to know what were the implications of their decisions: what would they do about school or moving across the country?
Everyone just magically gets over their issues. No struggle, no pain, no growth. Too neatly tied into a bow.
April 26, 2015
“The truth is, I don’t know who I am. I guess I’m what you call a work in progress. I know what I want to be, but I don’t want to be defined solely by a title. Nurse. Wife. Mother. I want to be all those things, but I don’t want any of them to make me stop being Meredith.”
Meredith Moser from The War Within by Yolanda Wallace
The plot of The War Within is split between the present and a retelling of events during the Vietnam War. Meredith Moser was an Army nurse in Vietnam, which is where she met Natalie Robinson. They were two of the best and bravest, and they fell in love with each other. However, it was not an easy time to love another woman, and Meredith chose to marry an Army mechanic that she also loved (he just wasn’t the love of her life). She got the chance to be a wife and mother like she had always dreamed of, and 47 years later she finds herself on summer vacation with her granddaughter, Jordan. Meredith, now a widow, realizes that they are headed for Natalie’s hometown, and she can’t stop wondering if they could have a second chance. Jordan is surprised to find out that the grandfather she loved dearly wasn’t her grandmother’s love, but she and her grandmother share something in common—Jordan dates women. However, her most recent girlfriend dumps her over the phone claiming that Jordan is too shallow. Jordan realizes that she is a little lost right now: she isn’t sure what she wants to major in at University, and where she stands on some major issues (she likes to participate in protests). The last thing she was expecting was to find her eye caught by Tatum, a wheel-chair bound war veteran. Can grandmother and granddaughter find love in the same small town? Is there a possibility for second-chances in love?
I requested this book from Net Galley in preparation for attending the Bold Stroke Books Festival in Nottingham, England, as I had only read two books from that publisher. I was able to read an excerpt of the story before requesting (you can access this here). By chance I requested another book with a lesbian relationship and military at the same time (Taking Fire by Radclyffe). I thought that Taking Fire would be my favorite of the two books; however, this book blew me away, and it was the clear winner!
I absolutely loved this book, especially with how it showed that love is not always clear-cut. There are different degrees of love, different abilities to love, and there are choices involved. Both Meredith and Jordan face choices in their love lies, and they each have to weigh the social stigmas and what they want in life against love. The book really showed that sometimes there are sacrifices that need to be made to achieve what you want!
I really loved the flashbacks which showed the historical lesbians, but it was hard for me to remember it wasn’t WWII (as my only previous readings of lesbians serving in the military during a war is from WWII). The Vietnam War made an excellent background for the story as it is historical, but not so far in the past. However, for me there was a timing issue that made me forget that it wasn’t WWII; Vietnam is a tight fit for the family spacing of Meredith and Jordan, but there are just enough years for it to work (my family has generation gaps closer to Natalie and Tatum, where there is a university aged person and an aunt/uncle that served in Vietnam rather than a grandparent). While I am not as familiar with the Vietnam War, the horrors of it and the good parts (the camaraderie, and the new chances) were fascinating to read about. It really struck me how awful the war was with what Meredith, Natalie, and the other nurses faced, especially holding hands and listening to the dying. However, the most poignant historical aspect was the danger of living when a rumor could end everything.
The story was really helped by the strength of the main characters, Meredith, Natalie, and Tatum. I had a little trouble relating to Jordan, especially as I expected to have a lot in common with her. However, she really grew up in the course of the story. It was really interesting to see her come to terms with being attracted to a woman in a wheelchair. While I was a little disappointed that the wheelchair factored into her decisions (“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it, but I like to think I would be dating the person, not the disability.”), I thought it was rather mature of her to consider the consequences before she really pursued Tatum. Mostly Jordan made a great foil to her grandmother Meredith. Jordan is able to show how times have changed and that the fact that she is attracted to women is not seen as such a big deal, but that love is still never easy.
Meredith, the younger one from the war, but she was brave in that she never shied away from scary things, whether that was helping trauma victims or figuring out her sexuality. While her choice of George over Natalie (“Your grandfather was a good man and the best friend I’ve ever had, but he wasn’t the love of my life”) sort of broke my heart, I can understand her wanting to follow the goals that she has held her whole life (being a wife and mother). I respect that she made her decision and didn’t drag the whole thing out, which is what many stories would have done.
The character that I really related to was Natalie. She was unable and unwilling to hide who she was, but she would protect others (like Meredith) from having to live the life she did. The descriptions of her were fascinating: “The kind of women you don’t want to hang around with unless you’re looking for a dishonorable discharge. The kind that usually gets weeded out after the men in white coats play Twenty Questions during the recruiting process.” I really respect her ability to forgive Meredith for the choice she made; I don’t know that I would have handled the love of my life waltzing back into my life 40 years later and wanting a second chance.
I was surprised that I liked George so much. I didn’t expect from the story summary to like him, and even though he wasn’t actually in very much of the book, I really liked him. It was clear why Meredith loved him, and why Natalie respected and befriended him. He was unlike the other military men, and kept Natalie’s secrets and protected Meredith. Honestly, I would have loved a little more about George, especially his friendship with Natalie. I think it was fascinating that Natalie mentions that she and George “have a bad habit of being attracted to the same woman.” Yet unlike other love triangles, they respected Meredith, and allowed her to make her choice and didn’t fight each other over her. Instead, they both loved Meredith enough to just want whatever she wanted. It was refreshing.
Honestly I was cheering for all of the characters at the end, and didn’t want the book to end. There was a surprise bit at the end that I really appreciated, and honestly I didn’t see it coming. I can’t wait to re-read this book. There was just so much about the book that really resonated with me.
Final Verdict: A surprisingly good read that keeps you hooked until the very end and cheering for all the characters.
This review was originally posted: https://francesandlynne.wordpress.com...
Meredith Moser from The War Within by Yolanda Wallace
The plot of The War Within is split between the present and a retelling of events during the Vietnam War. Meredith Moser was an Army nurse in Vietnam, which is where she met Natalie Robinson. They were two of the best and bravest, and they fell in love with each other. However, it was not an easy time to love another woman, and Meredith chose to marry an Army mechanic that she also loved (he just wasn’t the love of her life). She got the chance to be a wife and mother like she had always dreamed of, and 47 years later she finds herself on summer vacation with her granddaughter, Jordan. Meredith, now a widow, realizes that they are headed for Natalie’s hometown, and she can’t stop wondering if they could have a second chance. Jordan is surprised to find out that the grandfather she loved dearly wasn’t her grandmother’s love, but she and her grandmother share something in common—Jordan dates women. However, her most recent girlfriend dumps her over the phone claiming that Jordan is too shallow. Jordan realizes that she is a little lost right now: she isn’t sure what she wants to major in at University, and where she stands on some major issues (she likes to participate in protests). The last thing she was expecting was to find her eye caught by Tatum, a wheel-chair bound war veteran. Can grandmother and granddaughter find love in the same small town? Is there a possibility for second-chances in love?
I requested this book from Net Galley in preparation for attending the Bold Stroke Books Festival in Nottingham, England, as I had only read two books from that publisher. I was able to read an excerpt of the story before requesting (you can access this here). By chance I requested another book with a lesbian relationship and military at the same time (Taking Fire by Radclyffe). I thought that Taking Fire would be my favorite of the two books; however, this book blew me away, and it was the clear winner!
I absolutely loved this book, especially with how it showed that love is not always clear-cut. There are different degrees of love, different abilities to love, and there are choices involved. Both Meredith and Jordan face choices in their love lies, and they each have to weigh the social stigmas and what they want in life against love. The book really showed that sometimes there are sacrifices that need to be made to achieve what you want!
I really loved the flashbacks which showed the historical lesbians, but it was hard for me to remember it wasn’t WWII (as my only previous readings of lesbians serving in the military during a war is from WWII). The Vietnam War made an excellent background for the story as it is historical, but not so far in the past. However, for me there was a timing issue that made me forget that it wasn’t WWII; Vietnam is a tight fit for the family spacing of Meredith and Jordan, but there are just enough years for it to work (my family has generation gaps closer to Natalie and Tatum, where there is a university aged person and an aunt/uncle that served in Vietnam rather than a grandparent). While I am not as familiar with the Vietnam War, the horrors of it and the good parts (the camaraderie, and the new chances) were fascinating to read about. It really struck me how awful the war was with what Meredith, Natalie, and the other nurses faced, especially holding hands and listening to the dying. However, the most poignant historical aspect was the danger of living when a rumor could end everything.
The story was really helped by the strength of the main characters, Meredith, Natalie, and Tatum. I had a little trouble relating to Jordan, especially as I expected to have a lot in common with her. However, she really grew up in the course of the story. It was really interesting to see her come to terms with being attracted to a woman in a wheelchair. While I was a little disappointed that the wheelchair factored into her decisions (“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it, but I like to think I would be dating the person, not the disability.”), I thought it was rather mature of her to consider the consequences before she really pursued Tatum. Mostly Jordan made a great foil to her grandmother Meredith. Jordan is able to show how times have changed and that the fact that she is attracted to women is not seen as such a big deal, but that love is still never easy.
Meredith, the younger one from the war, but she was brave in that she never shied away from scary things, whether that was helping trauma victims or figuring out her sexuality. While her choice of George over Natalie (“Your grandfather was a good man and the best friend I’ve ever had, but he wasn’t the love of my life”) sort of broke my heart, I can understand her wanting to follow the goals that she has held her whole life (being a wife and mother). I respect that she made her decision and didn’t drag the whole thing out, which is what many stories would have done.
The character that I really related to was Natalie. She was unable and unwilling to hide who she was, but she would protect others (like Meredith) from having to live the life she did. The descriptions of her were fascinating: “The kind of women you don’t want to hang around with unless you’re looking for a dishonorable discharge. The kind that usually gets weeded out after the men in white coats play Twenty Questions during the recruiting process.” I really respect her ability to forgive Meredith for the choice she made; I don’t know that I would have handled the love of my life waltzing back into my life 40 years later and wanting a second chance.
I was surprised that I liked George so much. I didn’t expect from the story summary to like him, and even though he wasn’t actually in very much of the book, I really liked him. It was clear why Meredith loved him, and why Natalie respected and befriended him. He was unlike the other military men, and kept Natalie’s secrets and protected Meredith. Honestly, I would have loved a little more about George, especially his friendship with Natalie. I think it was fascinating that Natalie mentions that she and George “have a bad habit of being attracted to the same woman.” Yet unlike other love triangles, they respected Meredith, and allowed her to make her choice and didn’t fight each other over her. Instead, they both loved Meredith enough to just want whatever she wanted. It was refreshing.
Honestly I was cheering for all of the characters at the end, and didn’t want the book to end. There was a surprise bit at the end that I really appreciated, and honestly I didn’t see it coming. I can’t wait to re-read this book. There was just so much about the book that really resonated with me.
Final Verdict: A surprisingly good read that keeps you hooked until the very end and cheering for all the characters.
This review was originally posted: https://francesandlynne.wordpress.com...
December 23, 2021
Amazing,
This is simply a wonderful book.As a woman then same age as some of the characters living through that hard time this book is so well written. The joy of watching this generation of women to be so free was such a contrast.A balance so well done by this author. Trip down memory lane. Highly recommend.
This is simply a wonderful book.As a woman then same age as some of the characters living through that hard time this book is so well written. The joy of watching this generation of women to be so free was such a contrast.A balance so well done by this author. Trip down memory lane. Highly recommend.
July 24, 2014
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review.
This was a well-written love story! There are four main characters but the author does a great job giving each one a unique voice and not getting the reader confused (cause lets be honest sometimes any amount over two main characters can get confusing). The story is a mix between present time and flashbacks. The transfer between the two is flawless! Can't wait to read more from the author!
This was a well-written love story! There are four main characters but the author does a great job giving each one a unique voice and not getting the reader confused (cause lets be honest sometimes any amount over two main characters can get confusing). The story is a mix between present time and flashbacks. The transfer between the two is flawless! Can't wait to read more from the author!
December 22, 2018
Even though this author doesn't think of herself as a full time author, she did very well with this one. It is hard to tell a story from multiple view points spanning years and years and still connect all the lines and add others to make it relatable to a larger audience. Suffice it to say, I really liked this one!
May 10, 2021
In her Acknowledgments Yolanda Wallace states that this was her most challenging book to write, as a Viet Nam veteran I want to thank you for keeping the history of a forgotten war in the public mind and giving us old ladies life and voice. Keep challenging yourself because the result is wonderful and moving.
This is a beautiful love story about a time in herstory that was difficult for any lesbian or gay in uniform. The need to hide and the fear of discovery traumatized so many of us, that it lasted a lifetime. We can die for America but we just can't be ourselves in the country we protect.
Even though the DOD has stood by its "no women in combat" b.s., there are thousands of women from all wars that were in combat. I've never quite understood how the DOD or the federal government define combat but in my definition if a woman is close enough to be killed or injured by the enemy then she's in combat.
Nurses are the true heroes of any war because they keep us alive after the docs run to the next soldier. As a physician I can state that I don't have what it takes to be a nurse. So to every nurse that has ever worn a uniform, I will Never Forget.
This is a beautiful love story about a time in herstory that was difficult for any lesbian or gay in uniform. The need to hide and the fear of discovery traumatized so many of us, that it lasted a lifetime. We can die for America but we just can't be ourselves in the country we protect.
Even though the DOD has stood by its "no women in combat" b.s., there are thousands of women from all wars that were in combat. I've never quite understood how the DOD or the federal government define combat but in my definition if a woman is close enough to be killed or injured by the enemy then she's in combat.
Nurses are the true heroes of any war because they keep us alive after the docs run to the next soldier. As a physician I can state that I don't have what it takes to be a nurse. So to every nurse that has ever worn a uniform, I will Never Forget.
November 27, 2022
The story of an old relationship & a new one
“Sometimes other people’s versions of happiness and ours are two very different things. That’s when you have to say, ‘Screw them,’ and live for yourself, not someone else.”
+ • + • + • +
During their annual summer vacation, a grandmother & her granddaughter revisit the past as they figure out their futures.
“Sometimes other people’s versions of happiness and ours are two very different things. That’s when you have to say, ‘Screw them,’ and live for yourself, not someone else.”
+ • + • + • +
During their annual summer vacation, a grandmother & her granddaughter revisit the past as they figure out their futures.
September 24, 2024
Sweet story but i kept pondering over a 47yr gap. Damn, that is a lifetime.
May 14, 2021
Another lovely lesbian loving love story from this author.
September 21, 2021
I read this during a steamy August heat wave, and the Meredith/Natalie romance really resonated. But I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the disability representation in the Jordan/Tatum side of the novel.
Does NOT pass the Fries test.
Bought this on sale from the publisher. Thanks Bold Strokes Books!
Does NOT pass the Fries test.
Bought this on sale from the publisher. Thanks Bold Strokes Books!
April 23, 2017
Pretty well-written, and there was more complexity to the relationships than I expected. The familial connection between Grandma Meredith and Jordan was just as important, if not moreso, than the eventual romance each of them gets involved with. I didn't know how much I needed a grandmother and granddaughter bonding over their love of women! And I loved the premise that each summer they would choose a road trip destination by Jordan closing her eyes and poking at the map randomly. There's a sense of freedom and adventure to it, but also of growth and responsibility, because of the way they each found jobs and volunteer positions in their new locale rather than just lounging about. It definitely made me wish I was in their shoes!
We really need more stories where women in their seventies fall in love with each other, and where characters actually act like grownups and set realistic boundaries.
I did have some misgivings, the first being about how military service was romanticized - Jordan's anti-war stance was not built on a very solid foundation, so it became something for her to grow out of rather than a serious critique about the way the U.S. conducts itself. My other issue was Tatum's disability being used as character growth for Jordan. It would have been way more interesting for this kind of story to be told from Tatum's perspective and not have all these instances of a character being all 'oh no a disabled body!! can i deal with this?!?!?'
We really need more stories where women in their seventies fall in love with each other, and where characters actually act like grownups and set realistic boundaries.
I did have some misgivings, the first being about how military service was romanticized - Jordan's anti-war stance was not built on a very solid foundation, so it became something for her to grow out of rather than a serious critique about the way the U.S. conducts itself. My other issue was Tatum's disability being used as character growth for Jordan. It would have been way more interesting for this kind of story to be told from Tatum's perspective and not have all these instances of a character being all 'oh no a disabled body!! can i deal with this?!?!?'
August 24, 2014
Liked the characters, loved the story.. My only complaint is at the beginning of the book the characters are referred to by last name (military style) and later in the book by first name, made have to rethink who was talking. Messed up the continuity for me.
October 9, 2014
A journey through time, and generations.
March 12, 2016
Good and enjoyable, but didn't really grab me.
April 7, 2017
A fun story about a grandmother and granddaughter who both face the challenges of the legacy of war and the pressures of heteronormativity. Cunningly, the author uses flashbacks to Vietnam and a character who served in Afghanistan to interlock different generations' experiences of American wars, and deals with issues of sexuality and social acceptance without falling into standard tropes about coming out. All the characters are sympathetic and likeable, even when they're making foolish decisions, and the story flows along smoothly. Congratulations to the librarians at the Library of Birmingham for helping me find this, too: I probably wouldn't have known it existed if they hadn't created and clearly labelled an LGBT shelf.
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