Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain

by Toni Collier

Discover how to find healing from the pain and heartbreak in your life when you allow God and His people to come alongside you.

Author and founder of Broken Crayons Still Color, Toni Collier shows you that it's not only possible to heal from the things that have broken you but that you can build a strong, life-giving community to support you, be with you in the valleys, and speak love and truth into your life as God puts you back together again.

There's no avoiding pain in this world. Whether it's in the form of betrayal, trauma, illness, grief, or abandonment, we've all experienced the kind of pain that completely consumes us and transforms how we show up in the world. Whatever pain is felt, we're often left feeling alone, ashamed, and unsure where to turn for help. We're not sure we can trust others again, we pull back from social engagement, and we feel as if our hearts may never recover. But it doesn't have to be this way.

In Don't Try This Alone, Toni Collier shares how you can have hope in the midst of your most difficult days when you let others in. Opening up about her own experiences of walking through heartbreak, betrayal, and suffering, she shows you the importance of being vulnerable and allowing others to come alongside you as you heal—instead of trying to do it on your own—and gives you practical advice for how to actually heal.

Don't Try This Alone will encourage and guide you

Discover that healing is a hard, nonlinear, but worthwhile journeyUnderstand why being alone in your pain is dangerousIdentify problematic thoughts and the misguided responses from others that keep you trapped in toxic patternsRecognize the qualities of safe people 

Toni teaches you that in every tough circumstance, the way forward is always with God and his people. The hard stuff is coming, but we can get through it if we don't do it alone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Personal Development, Christian Living, Christian

Kindle Edition

Published August 19, 2025

About the author

Toni Collier is the founder of a global women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color and helps women process through brokenness and get to healing and hope. Toni is a speaker, host of the Still Coloring podcast, and author of several books: Don't Try This Alone, Brave Enough to be Broken, and a children's book, Broken Crayons Still Color. Toni is teaching people all over the globe that you can be broken and still worthy, or feel unqualified and still be called to do great things.

Reviews

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was filled with encouragement and hope. While I know that Toni had to walk through a serious valley to write this book, the inspiration she will provide others through her words will be the lifesaver that they need;their beacon of hope in their own tribulation. This book was encouragement on how to find good friends, how to be a good friend, and how to be open, vulnerable and honest with your needs. I love Toni’s heart and honesty. I can’t wait for others to glean words of wisdom from her!

I was given an advanced readers copy of this book but all opinions are my own.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened. This is a good book for someone not in community who is dealing with trauma/hurt. It would be a good resource for starting out and trying to build community. It is a very practical read. One thing I disagreed with is her point that when someone is hurting, the community is there to make them feel seen, not offering scripture. I think it has to be done the correct way, but scripture is fundamental in healing, and sometimes it takes your community reminding you the truths of scripture when you can't see past the hurt.

[Kaily White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest and encouraging!

[Tosha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toni Collier’s Don’t Try This Alone was a good read encouraging deep community. I appreciated the vulnerability she shared through her story in these pages. I liked how there were practical tips on how to go below the surface level and how we should be intentional in friendships. There was a lot of Bible references and scriptures throughout which was encouraging and it was clear that God was throughout it all and He’s truly in the midst of our pain and victories. I appreciated how the book also reminded the reader to be the friend they want to be. I felts seen and heard through this book and am encouraged to build deeper community in my life.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked a lot that was in this book. however, there are two areas I wish were fleshed out better. One, the author states things that God will do. She makes the statement several times, "How do I know this is true? Because it happened to me." Testimony is not the best way to prove a truth statement. I wish the author pointed back to scripture to prove her point. There is strength in scripture. Two, she shares a story that happened at a Christian conference where the audience was asked to pair up and prophesy over each other. The author admits she didn't know what to say. So she just said words of encouragement. The man ended up sharing something that ended up coming up over and over in her healing story and was a huge comfort and a source of strength. The issue is that everyone was asked to prophesy. The Bible clearly says some have the gift of prophecy. Assuming everyone had the gift is irresponsible. Also, prophecy is not something you turn on and turn off. You don't just do it in a crowd of strangers on the command from someone on stage. It's not a party trick. The author never pointed out the problem with what was going on in the room. I don't know if she agreed with it. She didn't address it. I do believe that God can use situations like this to still bring about the good for his child even if a group is misusing the spiritual gifts.
Because of these 2 issues, I'll be careful to whom I recommend this book. Having said that, I did get a lot of helpful tips on how to encourage someone who needs to move into community.

[Savanna Winchel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vulnerability, presence, encouragement, prayer, and growth. This is what not trying this alone, but rather healing together looks like. A continuous process not an end goal.

This book was great!! Content was wise and biblical. I would recommend this book to a friend, and I may even read it again. However, the reason I am giving it a 4.5 out of 5 stars is due to the fact I felt the book was a bit cliché at times and could have been a lot more concise. Overall, wonderful read. It is so sweet the Lord brought this book into my life at this time, as he simultaneously brought a group of women into my life to help me not do this alone. Especially when I am in a season for the first time in my life actually struggling to trust people due to hurt. The Lord is faithful and good.

[Lakisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational! Get yourself a good community!

[Ginny Yurich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book about building community