Cybill Disobedience : How I Survived Beauty Pageants, Elvis, Sex, Bruce Willis, Lies, Marriage, Motherhood, Hollywood, and the Irrepressible Urge to Say What I Think

by Cybill Shepherd, Aimee Lee Ball

In a candid, no-holds-barred memoir, the former supermodel-turned-actress chronicles her thirty-year Hollywood career, from her turbulent childhood and modeling success to her film and television stardom, detailing her romantic flings, motherhood, and personal relationships along the way. 150,000 first printing. Tour.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Ebooks, Humor

294 pages, Hardcover

First published April 4, 2000

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best Hollywood biography I have read so far! A deeply personal and upfront, first person narrated, look at Cybil from cradle to 21st century. I loved details around 'The Last Picture Show' and 'Taxi Driver' as well as a lot of good material on 'Moonlighting' and 'Cybil'. The book also covers Elvis Presley; gender politics; racism; growing up in the South and of course, love and marriage(s). A fine Four Star, 8 out of 12 read for this lifelong true star.

2010 read

[Tabitha Ormiston-Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am so glad this book was a free download. If not, I don't think I would ever have recovered from my rage at paying money for it. I bought it because I am always fascinated by other people's work and I thought it would be all about what it's like being a television actor. Instead, it started with a blow-by-blow of Ms Shepherd's teenage backseat fumblings and progressed to the main part of the book which was chiefly concerned with her congratulating herself on wrecking people's marriages. I must admit the actual writing was competent enough, but the material left me feeling as if I'd been rolling about in a sewer. Apart from the unnecessary detail about Ms Shepherd's amours, the constant name-dropping became quite tedious. I always thought that if one were famous oneself one wouldn't need to namedrop. I also think that dragging a person's name into a book, completely irrelevantly to the main subject, just so as to make some scurrilous allegation about the person, especially when he is dead and can't retaliate, is plain tacky. Finally, I really think that the only appropriate venue in which to accuse one's grandfather of being a child molester is a police station.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was not a happy read. I was really disappointed. I found her to be bratty and self absorbed. Just not likable at all. And the bits on sex were embarrassing in that she seemed so desperate to come off as sexy. I never believed the hype surrounding her that she was a bitch to work with, since it seems that is the “story” on almost all successful actresses, but after reading her side… I actually believe she really was impossible to work with.

[Mariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, a masterpiece. The paragon to which all other tell-all books should be compared.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book lacks any literary quality, and I feel a mild guilty pleasure for having read it... I will assuage my guilt by recommending it as summertime reading.

It's what I imagine it may be like if I were to wind up at a nice restaurant with Cybil Shepherd and over a long meal with _a lot_ of drinks, she talked about herself endlessly, and I egged her on the whole time while typing everything she said and buying us both more drinks.

So relax in your sand chair and listen to Cybil, but don't take this to your book group expecting a rousing debate about the genre... or a debate about her time on The L Word. No coverage of how she wound up there, except that she has a long history of making a spot for herself as a woman in the industry, and wants to support other women doing the same. I say, "Go Cybil!"

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kindle for iPhone...and free!

OK, when you can't get along with ANYONE, you have to start to think it might be you, right? Not if you are Cybill Shepherd! If you can read this without rolling your eyes at least seventeen times, I'll buy you a Coke.

[Karah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light-hearted read. I expected a book of this description from Cybill Shepherd. She pretends no guilt about invading other people's marriages. Nor she does deny having long periods of lackluster projects in her career. She holds her looks in high esteem. Many women do, that's not unusual. It was disheartening when she confirmed the absence of friendship with Christine Baranski. I recall reading that there was a rivalry between them so it wasn't shocking.

This would be good to pass the time at the airport or at the doctor's office.

[Israel Yanez · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was free at the Kindle store... don't judge. Well, the prologue seemed to promise an amusing read, but after that I couldn't get past a couple more chapters. The stories of sexual escapade were as boring as they were self-absorbed. Good thing this was a free e-book I could simply delete from my iPad. Goodreads needs an option for "didn't finish because it stank"

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Love her or hate her... Cybill apparently doesn't care, as she lets it all hang out in this memoir. I admire her frankness while being put off by her total self-absorption. Pretty sure she earned that rep for being hard to work with.

This is your basic guilty pleasure trashy read. Quick and dirty. If you got it free on Kindle, as I did, more power to ya.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book that's not my usual reading material. But I picked it up cheap, started to read and before I knew it finished it...

I was attracted in part because I remember the furore over the production of Moonlighting, but also the series in the 1980's with some fondness. It is therefore a little sobering to read what's in here now, especially with the recent sad news of Bruce Willis's health issues.

This is definitely an adults-only kind of book. Ms Shepherd doesn't hold back on many details, which the book's subtitle summarises nicely. And whilst you are always aware that you are reading an account which is from one particular perspective, it is rather refreshing to read a ranty, gossipy account where details are not sanitised nor held back too much.

You have to commend the writer for her unflinching, warts-and-all account of Hollywood in the 1960's - 80's. Much of it is about how Cybill railed against the challenges Hollywood put in front of her - and, let's be honest, those she put in front of herself.

I must admit that the more I read of Hollywood the more I am simultaneously mesmerised and repulsed.

Ms Shepherd knows her movies and is not afraid to point that out. She's also to be applauded for her stance on many issues, from women's rights to human rights issues, and shows us what it must have been like for a young woman in the film industry in the 1960s and beyond.

In the end, an interesting read, if perhaps a salutary one. "How to make it in Hollywood" - this provides both a lesson and perhaps one way not to do so.

[anabea · Rating 4 out of 5]

(3.75 rounded up)

Cybill Shepherd's career was shaped by the worst of Hollywood misogyny, deemed cold, unlikable, talentless, a beauty with no substance, yet she managed to prove them wrong.

This memoir is honest, real and at the same time dishy, with a distinct voice that makes it feel like you're sitting down with her while she tells you the story of her life.
I've only watched Cybill in two projects, The Heartbreak Kid and Moonlighting, both which shaped her career and where she gave excellent performances.

RE: Moonlighting, which I've watched the first three seasons of for the first time this year, I am thankful to know that Cybill fought tooth and nail for Maddie Hayes, and while she couldn't win most of those fights in the, as she described, "boys’ club", I'm glad to know she was pulling for this character I now hold so dear to my heart and consider the soul of the show.

Now knowing about her efforts in defending reproductive rights and using her privilege and voice to speak out against the racism in her hometown of Memphis, I admire her not only as an actor and professional, but as a person.

To those whose takeaway from this memoir was that Cybill Shepherd is an "unlikable, sex-crazed diva", I hate to say it, but you just might hate women.

[Martin, I stand with ISRAEL · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible. Just horrible. She is a very promiscuous, paranoid, and nasty person. I loved Moonlighting and that is why I purchased this book for 99 cents. I over paid. She hardly mentions Moonlighting in the book.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this reminded me of those rare occasions when I start watching a movie without any preconceptions.
I recently started watching "Moonlighting" reruns on Hulu, and was interested in what Cybill Shepherd would write about her experiences on set.
What I read was not for the faint of heart. Shepherd owns it all. And hey, why not?! But, wow, just wow.

[Shoshana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first read Cybill's autobiography a little over 20 years ago when I was in college and first got into her TV series Moonlighting. I didn't remember much though, so I decided to re-read it in preparation for seeing her perform live in Los Angeles in October. My overall thought was that I wish this book had been written today, though I'm glad it was written when it was because I don't think Cybill could have written this today. Not only would we have chapters from the last 20 years of her life, which would not be as exciting from a career perspective but I would have loved to read about from a personal perspective, but we'd also probably get a more comprehensive book as we're now in the age of celebrity memoirs that are given more attention and care. We'd also probably get an audiobook. But, just as I felt when I saw her perform last month in a reduced capacity, I'll take and appreciate what I can get and what she's able to give us.

Her story really took off for me when she left Memphis for New York to start her modeling career. I'm not into modeling, but I was intrigued by this young woman in late 1960s New York thrust into a high profile modeling career simultaneously taking literature classes at various NYC colleges, all the while navigating very adult relationships in her late teens. Many people know how her story takes off from there--she met with director Peter Bogdanovich for her breakout part in the Last Picture Show (she went to the meeting at the Essex house reading War and Peace), and he was convinced to cast her later after seeing her Glamour cover. She then moves through the ups and downs of being an actress in Hollywood (with a brief break in Memphis where she married her first husband and had her first child).

It was interesting to read this again after reading Tom Lake, a fictional story of a young woman who also falls into an acting career in Hollywood and the theater, but while that character quits to run a cherry farm in Michigan (and is quite happy about it), Cybill kept going, even when it seemed like she should quit. She took time to do theater across the country to practice her craft, she took time to focus on something she truly loved--singing--and recorded albums and did shows in New York, and she took the jobs she could get. I said in my review of the Moonlighting Oral History book that Moonlighting was a miracle. I meant that it was a miracle that it existed at all, but it was a miracle for Cybill too, as not only did it rejuvenate her career but it gave her the opportunity to really showcase what she could do both comedically and dramatically, which led to her own sitcom, which showcased that even more.

I also said in my review of the Moonlighting Oral History book that it seemed like we were missing Cybill's perspective on what went down, even though she was featured in the book. We get some of that perspective here, and I'm glad she spoke up about some of the ways she was mistreated while also acknowledging that they all could have done better, herself included. It was also fascinating to read about her experience working on the Cybill show. I haven't read as much about what happened behind the scenes of that show (I suppose there's less out there about it), and I'm glad we have her perspective on it.

She's also very frank about her relationships, including both her marriages and a serious relationship she had toward the book's end where she felt her most vulnerable. Yeah, Elvis is in there as well. She never apologizes for being a very sexual person. These relationships drive much of her life and also much of her mistakes and growth.

I'm also glad I read this after listening to Barbra Streisand's book as well because I see a lot of parallels in terms of the creation of an artist and the setbacks. Barbra succeeded far more than Cybill, and maybe how people perceived them based on their looks played a role in that, but Cybill also adapted a book into a screenplay, she worked hard at her craft, she took risks, she knew her Hollywood history, she knew what would be funny and work in a scene and she spoke up about it. Her comedy was both witty and physical, much like Lucille Ball and other classic Hollywood actresses. And she loved and continues to love music and singing--I was inspired when I saw her in October by the fact that she was doing a 90-minute set when most people would have retired. She does not care about expectations, has never cared, and is just going to do what she's going to do and live her life.

[Jaime Soria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read quite a few reviews of this book before deciding to purchase, and some of them referred to this book as "smut." After reading those reviews, I had very low expectations, and was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed it. It has a similar feel to other Hollywood autobiographies I've read, so maybe those same reviewers would feel everyone in Hollywood is "smutty." Which might be true come to think of it. And I will give consideration to the word "smut" to describe Cybill's enormous list of sexual partners, including several married men. Ick. Her apparent lack of remorse was a bit upsetting.
However, if you're able to look past all of that, there is a lot more to her story. She provided an excellent look at how difficult it was being a working woman in the 1970's, especially one who was trying to launch an acting career. As females, we are still struggling today for equal pay and equal treatment in the workplace, but her stories demonstrate just how far we've come. Besides a general unequalness in pay, and lack of intelligent, strong female roles available, many of her male costars attempted to knock her down a peg by saying and doing awful things to her. Most could not handle working with an outspoken, opinionated female and frequently reported her as "difficult to work with." I enjoyed when she made Joey Bishop uncomfortable during their dinner show after he began mumbling obscenities at her under his breath during performances. "What did you just say? I didn't quite catch it." she asked, momentarily flummoxing him until he could get back on track with his lines. For those readers who are upset that Cybill recounted detailed stories about what people did and said to her, maybe those individuals shouldn't have been saying and doing those things in the first place. A good lesson in Hollywood is to be nice to everyone you meet and work with, because you never know when the guy bringing your coffee will write a tell-all autobiography.
And finally, how could I not love this quote from her: To this day, I believe that any excuse to discriminate against any group of human beings violates their civil rights. Regardless of their skin color, religion, sex, or sexual preference, all people must be treated equally. To do otherwise is un-American. Well said Ms. Shepherd.
I was ready to bring this down a star for multiple spelling and grammatical errors, which tend to drive me insane while reading, but it occurred to me that those errors may only be in the Kindle version I was reading, so I will leave this at...4 stars, very entertaining!

[John · Rating 2 out of 5]

After recently reading a few heavy tomes I was looking to take a break with something lighter. So I picked Cybill Disobedience from my long waiting list, where it had found its way after I cleared my parents house. I had always liked Cybill Shepherd - this sassy, sexy trouble-maker (a description shared by the back cover) - since seeing The Heartbreak Kid as a teenager (the original, not the awful recent remake) and thought it was time I learnt something of her life story.

The book moves along at a blistering pace, racing between events on the family homes, the film set, and the bedroom (or the trailer) in what feels like a true reflection of the way Shepherd actually lives her life: an in-the-moment immediacy that shuts out past and future combined with a resilient let-bygones-be-bygones capacity to always move on with few regrets. In this sense, the long sub-title to the book pretty much says it all.

Nevertheless, as you read, what also emerges is a self-conscious self-absorption that is the source of her combative humour but also a certain proud cold aloofness that led to a naive belief that it’s ok to speak your mind at all times. Not surprisingly, she states “I was never a company girl”. Speaking her mind has usually trumped considerations of her wider self-interest.

The book is no different: it is brutally honest but, notwithstanding the various titillating indiscretions, it remains a rather arid read that leaves readers feeling that they still know little about the real Shepherd. The predominant “take-away” is a renewed revulsion for the revolting milieu of Hollywood; and mild admiration for anyone willing to put themselves through it and stick with it in search for whatever they believe they seek.

[Madelon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't read a lot of biography, and I don't read a lot of celebrity biography, but this was really a hard book to put down. I found it to be refreshingly honest, and that from a woman who describes herself as the consummate liar throughout her life.

I didn't know that Cybill Shepard was a singer. Now I do. I've checked out her voice in Amazon music and iTunes. I may be acquiring some of this music, bluesy, blowsy, Memphis music in the very near future.

I think the impetus to reading this comes from the sister telling me years ago that she though I looked like Cybill Shepherd, which got me watching Moonlighting, so I felt it would be apropos to read something about my namesake Maddie (even though I spell it Maddy).

There is a lot of honesty in this book by the liar, but not a lot of sensationalism. She is pretty forthright about her many conquests without naming a whole lot of names. I suppose if you pored over old celebrity magazines and trash newspapers, you could figure out who The Director was, or who The Suit was, but really who gives a damn. I came away from this feeling like I could sit down with Cybill wearing jeans and sneakers and sip some sweet tea chatting about this and that or just enjoying a companionable silence.


My sister comparing me to Cybill Shepherd is indeed a compliment in every possible way. Thanks for the Good Read, Cybill.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love celebrity bios-and auto bios. And I have watched (and enjoyed) Cybill Shepherd since her breakout success in The Last Picture Show. Plus I adore Bruce Willis. So how could I not love Cybill Disobedience : How I Survived Beauty Pageants, Elvis, Sex, Bruce Willis, Lies, Marriage, Motherhood, Hollywood, and the Irrepressible Urge to Say What I Think?

Less than pedestrian writing and often too much information-both in the sense of too much intimate detail and in the sense of just more than was interesting to read.

I came away from the book still liking Shepherd's work and with a greater respect for her intelligence. But I would have liked more information on the world and craft of film and television, less childhood memories, and less detail about her sexual choices.

But the sections on her television work made the book generally worthwhile.

Especially since it was a free Kindle giveaway.

[David Jay · Rating 2 out of 5]

This has happened to me before. I pick up a celebrity autobiography, the celebrity in question being someone that I've always liked for one reason or another. With Cybill Shepherd, she has always seems very smart, and funny, and politically aware and savvy. (But I've had this exact same thing happen with Rosie O'Donnell, Patti Lupone, the list goes on and on). I read the book and discover, ok, this person (let's say Cybill) may in fact be smart and funny and politically aware, but WOW, she is an incredible narcissist and I find it shocking that she choose to write a book about herself and be so honest (and so lacking in self awareness) about what a dysfunctional and unpleasant person she seems to be. Noone seems to get along with you and you think its them? Always?? You sleep with married man after married man (or man after man while you are in committed relationships) and then say, oh well, you know how I am, or something to that effect. Every new bit of information that was gleaned from this book was sad or gross or both. Well written, lots of gossip, but just didn't enjoy spending that time in Cybill's company.

[Kitty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wouldn't call myself a HUGE Cybill Shepherd fan, but I did watch and enjoy Moonlighting, and I was mildly curious about her life. Cybill's story is certainly interesting, and from the looks of it, she certainly didn't "play it safe" with this book. She shares the good, the bad, and the ugly - about herself, and everyone else. There are a few references to people that she doesn't give names to, but there are plenty that she does name: including Peter Bogdanovich, Bruce Willis, Christine Baranski, Orson Welles, and Elvis Presley (to name a few). She gives her whole story, from early childhood to present day. And she gives a LOT of explicit details. In fact, it was one of the most sexually explicit books I've read. In general, it was probably more than I ever wanted to know about her, but it did hold my attention, and it's likely to be a memoir I won't soon forget.

[Sull · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some mediocre autobiographies you keep reading to see if the author learns any lessons. This book began oddly, with the author rushing to a singing engagement on foot when her city taxi is caught in a traffic jam, then batting away distracting requests from her children so that she can break free and get herself onstage. NOT an appealing beginning somehow, from a mother who claims to enjoy her kids.

And things went downhill after that, with a few exceptions, into rambling petty squabbles with boyfriends, husbands, producers, directors, co-stars. Few insights, few-to-no moments of clarity, no lessons learned. Depressing book.

[Deb · Rating 1 out of 5]

First of all, the lack of decent language was a real put-off about this book. It's a very selfish book, and I expected more of Cybill Shepherd. Apparently, there's a basis to the reason no one wants to hire her any longer.

I could not finish it as it was so poorly written.

[David Nazz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Might be the worst book I have ever read. Ms. Shepherd spent her life making mostly low quality art and having sex with almost anyone she could. She lived a meaningless life. Glad she is not my mother.

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great, dishy celeb memoir from one of my favorite actresses.

[Carla Remy · Rating 3 out of 5]

All honesty, I skimmed it. I really just wanted to read the Moonlighting parts. But there was interesting stuff throughout. I think it's cool that Cybill hates high heels.

[Adi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesanta pentru cei carora le-a placut Moonlighting - detaliaza cariera ei de model si actrita. Nu stiam ca a jucat in Taxi Driver.

[Vikas Datta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a delightful account...

[Paul Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've always enjoyed the work of Cybill Shepherd as an actress. It doesn't hurt that she is quite beautiful, but I've always liked her sassy personality.

That personality is on full display in her memoir, appropriately entitled Cybill Disobedience and co-authored by Aimee Lee Ball. There are many things missing from this work, including an awareness of her own entitlement, sympathy for the wives she cuckolded in a life rife with sexuality, and very little concern (or even acknowledgment) of her fans. However, she shows a striking degree of awareness of her art that I certainly did not suspect before reading this work. She truly understands both the fashion and entertainment industry, even if many of those lessons were painfully learned.

Even though she seems to show a degree of self-awareness as to why she has been generally vilified in Hollywood, I would think that that very self-awareness, as exhibited in the title, would lead to a greater understanding as to why her two television shows ultimately failed. I don't think, even at the end of the book, that she believes or even cares that it may have been her own fault and her own abrasive personality that brought down two extremely good and very popular shows.

She certainly hasn't been an angel throughout her career. Though she acknowledges breaking up marriages by having sex with somebody's husband, she really doesn't seem to get that this is a bad thing. I am a little old fashioned in this regard and I find that complete lack of guilt goes totally unacknowledged throughout the book.

Anyway, it is an interesting memoir, just for the promiscuity and for her insights on the culture of television and film.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I saw this book in my Little Free Library I didn't realize she had a memoir that came out in 2000. I know her career has advanced since then and wanted to know more than the usual that I already know, i.e., her movies, Moonlighting, and some things about her private life. She had a show Cybill. I guess I never watched it since I don't remember it.

The book starts out with the prologue in 1999 with her cabaret act, again, something I didn't know about or that she even sang. I can tell that there's much to learn about her in this book.

She was definitely a tomboy growing up and eschewed dresses and girly things and wanted to play with her brother and his train sets and wear overalls until her mother incinerated them. Her father always wanted a boy and encouraged boys sports and taught her how to toss a football and play baseball.

She had an affair with Elvis too after he saw The Last Picture Show and wanted to meet her. It didn't last too long. She really didn't like him I think and his lifestyle plus Peter Bogdanovich found out about it after she stopped seeing Elvis anyway. She had a very interesting conversation when they were in bed.

She name drops a lot of celebrities and how they really were in real life personally and how they helped her in her acting career and most of that is due to her life with Peter. She had a voracious sexual appetite it seems. She didn’t hold back in anything and even named names she had sex with except for one who she called Roark. Now I’m curious.

I found this book entertaining but I read some of the reviews and they were harsh and critical.

[Gayle (OutsmartYourShelf) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Growing up, one of my weekly TV viewing highlights were the repeats of 'Moonlighting' shown on British tv. The quick wit back-&-forth between David Addison & Maddie Hayes was a treat, until they brought Bert Viola onto the scene. I decided to read Shepherd's autobiography on a whim & it was OK.

'Moonlighting' itself takes up a very small part in the book (a couple of chapters at the most) & the majority of it is about Shepherd's love life. I agree with her about the dearth of onscreen roles for women of a certain age, & her refusal to be shamed for not living her life how she was expected to was refreshing to read, but the revolving door of men got old very quickly.

It started to feel just a bit tawdry after a while, & I cannot believe that she was annoyed with the estranged wife of one man for not wanting her on set - I mean, you had an affair with her husband & he left her for you, why would you think she wants to see your face every day? Still, you lose them how you get them.

Note: I was taught that Cybele was pronounced Kai-BEE-lee & nothing like Cybill. I would think it has roots in 'Sybil' from the Greek Delphi prophetess.