I Can't Believe I'm Still Single: Sane, Slightly Neurotic (but in a Sane Way) Filmmaker into Good Yoga, Bad Reality TV, Too Much Chocolate, and a ... Point Anyone Who'll Let Me Watch Football

by Eric Schaeffer

Eric Schaeffer has always believed that when the time was right and he was ready that he would find the Big One (an intelligent, sexy, loving wife). But his last girlfriend said no to his proposal, and since then he hasn't met anyone he wanted to have a second date with. This is a wild, sometimes raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always honest account of a semi-famous man's attempts at love.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

336 pages, Paperback

First published April 25, 2007

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I even finished the first chapter of Eric Schaeffer's book, my review was going to be two words: I can. Since I am a fan of his films, I feel I owe him more than that. How can I not mention that one of the chapters is titled, "So I'm allowed to have my tongue in your ass but can't pee with the door open”?

The book is a series of reminiscences Eric has about his past experiences with women, which are told alongside his present situation dating a woman he thinks might be “the one.” Based on the description of their first meeting, it doesn’t take a psychiatrist, or even Dr. Drew, to see the relationship is not going to work out between them.

I appreciate his brutal honesty about himself, but Eric Schaeffer frequently goes over into the “too much information” category. Perhaps this ‘laying himself out on the line’ will make some lucky girl jump up and scream, “Me! I’ll fuck you with a strap-on while telling you how worthless you are! And I won’t feel like a whore or a booty-call when I hop in a cab after we have sex, because I know you like to sleep alone.” For his sake, I hope he finds her.

All in all, the book was at times very funny, and often had me cackling and guffawing, but I wouldn’t touch that man with a ten-foot dildo.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off I really enjoyed this book; one of the things which I noticed quite early on was that there were a lot of references to the film If Lucy Fell, which obviously he wrote. Unsurprisingly as mentioned in the book's title Eric likes yoga, this usually leads to cultivating a more mindful approach to ones life, however at times he seems to bumble along quite mindlessly, but that's probably, because the most entertaining parts of his life, or anyone’s for that matter. Especially true if you are reading about it is when we fail to be mindful. So this kind of makes sense the juicy bits are always going to be a bit hap hazard.

He also lives in his own head unashamedly, which is a typical writer’s trait, and is to be expected. With regard to his still being single, Eric claims throughout the book to not liking to play games yet he continually engages in them, although it does appear to the reader to be subconscious. He's continually checking himself during the narrative before he speaks to any women, and then starts probing them for reactions to gain insight about what they might be thinking. It left me wandering has he spend a lot of time studying pick up. Where he uses possibly in fairness unknowingly, the classic push pull technique For example the wood chip story told only because he gives Amy a hook, and then makes her beg to hear its conclusion.

He does seem to put women up on pedestals throughout, screening every girl he meets as a potential wife. Only to then knock them of their pedestal; when they fail to live up to his slightly unrealistic expectation. I have to admire his honesty in writing this though he doesn't seem to gloss over events, or hold back about how he felt at certain times in his life, which was refreshing. He also likes Portishead. Good taste if you ask me. Never read a mention of the band in a book before.

Finally yes we get it you wrote Lucy Fell. He mentions this over and over through out the novel so be prepared. I enjoyed some of your other films so I suppose I will have to watch it now after reading your book.

[Jenn Bormann · Rating 4 out of 5]

He's a weird bird but this was a very entertaining read

[Sheila]

I couldn’t get through the first couple chapters.

I know why he’s single: he’s nuts and a huge pervert!

[magpie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no idea why, even though my ex-boss of all people once insinuated I was anything but prudish (he's a he, I'll just chalk it up to that for reasons he thought it appropriate), but I've always been drawn to and been a fan of Eric Schaeffer--as a person/character and of his movies. I'm actually more on the reserved side in many aspects (hey ex-boss, tattoos don't equal whore!), but wildly liberal at the same time and find absolutely nothing offensive about his work. In fact, I do know why I've been drawn to him, and this book solidifies that: he has a way with words. (I'm a wannabe writer, so makes sense.) He makes his neurosis palatable and enjoyable to people who can identify with it, and even those who can't. It's, at least on the surface, honest, and his story is funny and interesting.

The Showtime series based on the book, well, not as riveting. Neat to see him play him, but kind of like watching paint dry. My boyfriend has yet to make it past 10 minutes.

So, not five stars because it's the best book in the world. Just to give him credit for writing it all down and getting it out there and giving people who can handle it something fun to read.

[Miss Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was very hypnotic, I fell in love with his autopsy like honesty, and could relate to many of his insecurities. He is a very good writer with a very messy love life and he is well aware of his flaws, the main one being how desperate he is to have a girlfriend, even if he can't stand her. Along with portraying a bad dating pattern, he also tells the story of his film career, how he worked constantly writing screenplays and acting to have moments of great success and also moments of major rejection yet like with women he continued to move forward and try harder to be loved by the next date. That sort of courage really inspired me and his constant journey to be the best version of himself with all the yoga, therapy and support groups was wonderful to read, especially because he so perfectly portrayed how that process is a moment to moment battle. I wanted to hug and slap him at the same time for being the creator of his destruction.
Still the ending is very hopeful and did make me cry a bit for my own broken heart and ultimately it was nice to that we were in the same boat together.

[( he . yaus ) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Those like me, a unabating fan of his movies, will be delighted that his thoughts are in mass print. We will enjoy this book. We fans share a certain insight and acceptance to Eric's view of relationships and sexual proclivities. We fans appreciate his humor and his insights into life. But those who are new to Eric, those who have never even seen If Lucy Fell, please keep an open mind. This book maybe shocking in some parts, if not offensive to some eyes. But the journey he takes is worth the read, who knows, you may become a fan afterall.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up randomly b/c I thought I would get a kick out of the male perspective on 40 & single.

Um, well "kick" might not be the right word for the experience.

Didn't know any of the hoopla about the author until after I finished it, but the one "gift" of this book is that I had never heard of the pleasure tool "Sounds" before-call me naive.

The book ends up being a kind of advertisement for the unlauded joys of being single.

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, hmmmm - I did enjoy reading it. It had some funny moments, it is also vulgar, a little schizo in the writing style, and quirky. A lot of Scatological humor and stories - beware. It was almost if he was writing the book for him to read, not an audience. Some funny online dating moments, meeting the family, and dating people that are not right for you, and drug-talk.

Who wants to read it next- I have a copy!

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Given to me by a friend. So far, it's all over the place. I'm a little scared. ; )

------
Update:
When I first started reading this, I thought Schaefer was completely neurotic. I kept reading, and it turns out that he is, but it gets slightly better.
He's one of those despicable characters, which I'm okay with as long as he has a good story to tell. His story, however, was just a lot of complaining about how he'll never find love.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

So Schaeffer is a Narcissist - the book is simultaneously fun and scary!

I actually learned something...you have any idea what "rods" are used for? I'm sure it's not the way you're thinking - read this book and scare your male friends with some new sexual knowledge! (They probably will NOT thank you for this tip...just sayin')

[Tricia Lawrence · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well I can think of at least 100 reasons why his still single! While he did become more tolerable towards the end, his "character" in the book is jus tnot very likeable. I think it is the classic set your expectations way too high and then complain when nobody meets them. My feeling is "I can't believe I made it to the end of this book!"

[Titostud · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I were to obsess over every little detail of my relationship I would be alone. That said, the book has some really amusing chapters on his life growing in the long gone New York City of the late 60's/early 70's.

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fan of his blog (which sadly he hasn't updated in over a year), it was nice to see some of his funny blog stories repeated here. I've always enjoyed his frank honesty and there's plenty of it in the book. This is definitely not for everyone, but if you are a fan of his, this book is great.

[Jamey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun Crap

[Debba · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you like his movies, you'll enjoy his ever personal journey to being 45 & single.

[Curtis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eric Schaeffer is a unique individual. This book (as well as his current tv show) isn't for everyone. But underneath it all, Mr. Schaeffer simply wants to be loved just like everyone else.

[Darla]

I love all things Eric Schaeffer, so now, I'm gonna have to get this book.

[Brian Norton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the book after watching part of the first season of the TV series. I enjoyed the book but was disappointed that it lacked the heart the first season of the show had.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

He's creepy and weird. And super self-aware, while also being completely unaware of his own creepy weirdness. It's an entertaining paradox.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got to love the racy books. I read this and thought hmm I'm not so bad.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book certainly lives up to the description in the title.

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first I was almost turned off by his brutal honesty and neurosis - almost! By the end I realized I was smitten and wanting to do a cleanse...

[Kami Sunde · Rating 5 out of 5]

for the neurotic who lives in all of us. Come on, you know he's in there...