Stress Fracture: A Memoir of Psychosis

by Tara Meissner

Stress Fracture: A Memoir of Psychosis This psychology memoir is about the things that break us and how we heal. It offers a raw view a 33-year-old wife and mother swallowed by psychosis. The episode includes meeting Jesus Christ, dancing with Ellen DeGeneres, and narrowly escaping eternity in the underworld. Casually called a nervous breakdown, psychosis is an entrapment outside of self where hallucinations and delusions anchor. Family, doctors, and fellow patients witness a nonverbal, confused, distraught shell of a woman. In the security of a psychiatric care center, the week-long psychosis broke and spit out a bipolar patient in the cushioned place of middle class medicine. Outpatient recovery consumed the better part of year with psychiatric treatment and spiritual contemplation. Left scarred and damaged, health returns allowing her to tentatively embrace a grace and peace earned through acceptance of bipolar disorder.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Memoir

270 pages, Paperback

First published June 22, 2014

About the author

Tara is a former journalist and a lifelong creative writer.

Reviews

[Amanda Linsmeier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely read memoirs but I'm so glad I read this. Ms. Meissner's account of her psychotic break was riveting, sad, shocking, and eye-opening. I found myself feeling a range of emotions while reading. The author writes well, and educates even among the stories that were disturbing. At times I even laughed- yes, there's even a hint of humor among the more serious content. As someone who does not have Bipolar, or have family members who are affected (errr, at least that I know of), I still got something from this book. I could relate to the author as a mother, a woman, someone who has struggled with finding who she is. For example, I was so mad for her in the part of not making weight in basic training! It was one of many times I felt something intense while reading. I will definitely recommend this to others who I feel might enjoy it. It certainly seems that among the mental health community this could be a missing piece of the puzzle- a first-hand account of someone experiencing a breakdown, which the author points out, is pretty rare.

[Diane Yannick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several times a year I just have to read a book about mental illness. I am always ready to explore that fine line between sanity and insanity. I grew up in fear of causing my mother another nervous breakdown. She had them regularly and I was usually to blame. I've been trying to figure out how I did this ever since childhood. I've also been trying to avoid going down that path, I guess.

I'm glad that I read this book as the author took us into her world of psychosis without trying to pretty it up. Bipolar disease has become a frequent diagnosis but certainly can present with a wide variety of symptoms and intensity. Tara Meissner made me see how intense and totally believable the hallucinations can be. She seriously struggled to untangle her psychotic experience from reality. She dealt with the frustration of others who tried to discount her experience. Although many couldn't help her process this illness, her husband was wise and patient. Her children gave her the much needed inspiration to find a way out of her darkness.The hell that pharmaceuticals can create was clearly outlined. Doctors truly don't know how each person's body is going to react to psychiatric drugs, especially when they combine multiple heavy duty medications. For many, these cocktails make it impossible for the patient to advocate for herself. Fortunately Tara recognized the warning signs and refused to lose herself to drug induced lethargy and passivity.

I thought more editing was needed, especially in the chapter which dealt with global assessment. For me, verbiage like this was overblown: "The disease....came uninvited to destroy my footholds. It was the tide that washed away a sandcastle, the wind that eroded the stone, the sun that faded the colors, or the locusts that devoured the crops." Too much for me. Yet passages like this that described her mounting mania were spot on: "I understood that I was a prophet. I had to share the knowledge that came to me with the world. I wrote and drew arcs and made heavy concentric circles around key clues of insight. I drew rainbows with the equal signs connecting it to the word promise. I wrote heavy......." Her meetings with Jesus and Ellen Degeneres were described with amazing clarity.
It must have been tough yet hopefully cathartic for Tara to revisit a world she never wants to revisit.

[Shelley Kubitz Mahannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ms. Meissner writes a vivid and compelling memoir that chronicles the events surrounding her psychotic break and eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder. What makes this book important is that it openly discusses Meissner's "nervous breakdown" and directly addresses the taboo that society puts on mental illness. This is a brave book and it is beautifully written.

[Sandra Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read

Straight forward, read. This is a topic, that makes many people uncomfortable. By writing about this, it lessens the stigma about mental illness.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most of us will never have to (or get to) experience psychosis, but Ms. Meissner allows us an actual tour. The way she describes events are detailed, and fascinating. Her use of language is better in some parts of the book than others, but overall is excellent. She has put together a full account of her most difficult days and she has done so quite eloquently! I believe she's coming to a place of seeing some humor in a devastating, yet incredible piece of her history. I wonder if she realizes now what a gift she's given to other people through writing this book!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undoubtedly this was a painful book to right and at times it was painful to read, but it is an important and well written memoir. Tara bares all and by extension offers insights into mental illness. Just because we cannot see it, does not mean it is not there. I hope I am more open and understanding after reading this.

[Kiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very open and honest account of mental illness from the perspective of a mother with three young sons. Some very sad parts and some hilarious, laugh out loud parts! It was a quick read that I much enjoyed!

[Dnicebear · Rating 4 out of 5]

What's the difference between saying nervous breakdown and psychosis? Is psychosis an injury? Ms Meissner gives us lots of chance to consider both the breaking and the healing of mental health, and the language of each, through detailed memories of her own experiences.

As she begins to recover, Ms Meissner doesn't want her memories to be hallucinations or delusions. "'They were real,' I said, 'It really happened.' ...I wanted to be special and chosen rather than helpless and crazy. I wanted there to be a value in the visions I experienced, which I eventually would come to accept as nonsense." (p. 137)

Then there is the task of living with this 'category' of mental illness. "I was programmed not to sympathize with the mentally ill, but rather to laugh at it as a pseudo sickness. And, at all costs, to avoid association with those who were mentally ill. ...when I told some people what happened, they shushed me; they didn't want to hear about it. They thought mental illness and inpatient therapy was embarrassing and should have been kept private." (p 144)

I'm grateful for the amazing support that brought Ms Meissner through her psychosis and to the place of being able to write about it.

[Marcie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tara Meissner does a phenomenal job of sharing her very personal experience of what it is like to have a psychotic break and end up in a psychiatric hospital and her couragous recovery. This book should be a must read at the high school level to help end the stigma about mental health in general. I honestly believe educating the student would bring about a massive shift in the world of psychiatry. It is because of such negative stereotypes that many psychiatric patients do not want to believe their diagnosis and refuse treatment. The sad end result of such denial results is generally a very stressed dysfunctional family in which divorce is very common.
It takes an enormous amount of strength and insight to look at and accept this disorder as part of one's own life and the author do this with grace and dignity. As a result the author is able to regain control over her life and write this book to help others do the same. Way to go Tara, I bow to you.

[Deborah Blanchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very compelling read for me. Suffering from bipolar disorder myself, I could understand how she felt. There are different types of bipolar disorder with varying degrees of severity. This was an extraordinary case and obviously quite severe. I found the book to be very well written , with a good flow to it. I commend Tara for her courage to tell her story. It takes guts to put your life out there for people to read. This is an important book for everyone, including professionals, to read. It provides great insight into the lives of those who live with mental health issues and the effects it has on friends and family.A MUST READ!

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a memoir about a woman diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It follows her life up until her breakdown and time spent in a psychiatric hospital and then her return home and everything she went through for a year after her diagnosis. It also shows how family and friends of hers were affected by this. This gave me more insight into a person with a mental disorder. I found it interesting and very well written.

[Barb · Rating 3 out of 5]

The strength of this memoir lies in the honest and powerful prose the author uses to describe her psychotic break. The chapters dealing with her inpatient stay are particularly intense. Some aspects of the book would benefit from a bit more editorial polish but that doesn't take away from its message about what it's like to live with mental illness and to thrive in spite of it.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book poignantly, realistically depicts the effects of mental illness on a family. The author's unflinching account of her manic episode, bipolar disorder diagnosis and subsequent rebuilding of her life is riveting. A must read!

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on Goodreads. It is the story of a woman's mental illness and how it she managed to cover it up until having a bread and being put in an institution. She told how she coped and how her famiy coped with her illness

[Michael Oswald · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oddly, I felt like this book was written for me. It's kind of creeping me out.

[Amoreena Petersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

For a memoir this was really well written and very interesting. I like reading about mental illness but this is the first time I've actually read about bipolar disorder.

[Peggy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meissner's memoir describes her harrowing psychotic break, caused by her undiagnosed bipolar disorder. She begins with her childhood, describing behaviors that retrospectively appear to be clues to the disease waiting. Meissner explores the disease as she writes, combining a literary command of plot, characterization, and language with a journalist's commitment to the facts. In Stress Fracture, Meissner depicts a human caught in a state of profound suffering, who nonetheless never stops seeking help, answers, and treatment, all of which are, thankfully, found.

[Tom Farrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this memoir of a psychotic break, the author draws us into the medical challenges she faced. The fast-paced narrative kept me engaged throughout. Despite the personal crisis, the underlying promise of healing carried me along. The support from family and friends was an inspiration. This memoir should be required reading to gain a full understanding of the medical remedies available and how to address the serious personal issues that arise from the illness.

[Alyssa Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful in understanding the experience of psychosis for someone who hasn't been through it themselves.

[Jeanie Kenkel · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story is good but the editing is poor, and the language is simple.