Voices from Inside: A Memoir in Verse

by Catherine Crosby

When your mother seeks shelter in her childhood home of the Kingston Polygamist Cult (known as The Order), you know things are bad.

Faced with escalating abuse from a drug-addicted father, Catherine Crosby and her sisters have no choice but to seek asylum in The Order with their mother. Catherine’s memoir in verse showcases her experience of healing despite having dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder), CPTSD, and living through religious trauma.

Catherine’s diagnosis later in life came as a surprise, yet it helped everything make sense. Dissociative identity disorder worked to help her appear “normal” and kept itself hidden, even from her, for years, showing that one can thrive despite having a rough start. Her memoir in verse shows that the words and actions of others may harm us, but the power of our own words can set strong boundaries and help us heal.

294 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 14, 2025

About the author

Catherine Crosby is a Utah native and book dragon. She grew up in various locations across Utah, but most of her childhood was spent in Bountiful. She has an English education degree and a reading endorsement that she uses to help middle school students become confident readers. She lives on the Wasatch Front with her husband and two dogschildren. She enjoys spending time with her and grandchildren, and one of their favorite activities is their monthly family cook-off. Catherine loves reading, writing, gardening, and traveling. She is the curator of Little Free Library #88672, and her favorite flowers are dahlias.

You can find her on Instagram @buildinglifelongreaders

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never been comfortable rating someone's memoir or life story. Giving a star rating reminds me too much of the book "You Are Special" by Max Lacado. The book about puppets who are given dots and star stickers, depending on people's opinions. That being said, my five stars should reflect my opinion that everyone should read this book. Especially if you feel alone in your struggles with self worth or have inner voices shouting at you, making you question your own worth. Catherine shares her life's experiences in a very vulnerable, but empowering way. I found myself highlighting many areas. Be prepared with tissues. I found myself crying multiple times. I even sobbed over a shared recipe in the book. But I also found myself motivated as a Mom, to step it up and be better for my kids in areas I have let slip. Catherine gives insight into her unique experience with DID, sharing her Alter's POV's over the years. Each perspective expressed, line by line, gave more understanding of how someone with DID (keeping in mind that everyone's experience with DID will be unique) struggles everyday to simply exist. She courageously continues forward, enduring through the years from one minute to the next. One of my favorite quotes she wrote is:
"We remain hidden until the day that never comes when people accept others whose minds are unlike their own."

[Cayli Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I highlighted this book within an inch of its life. There are so many quotable moments that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I went into this book knowing what to expect and I still feel gut punched.

“Maybe newborn me already knew I must stay silent to survive.” This absolutely gutted me. Babies deserve the best, they deserve to be kids and learn by well..being kids.

“His kids didn’t hide when he came home from work.” Another part of the story that really gave me pause. I want to slap the shit out of the man that hurt these little girls.

“Even if you have a bad start you create your fate.” There are time where my traumas tell me the lie that this is my life and I deserved what I got. That I don’t deserve to be happy, that I don’t deserve the life I fought for. This quote rings so true that even thought we go through things entirely out of our control one of the greatest accomplishments is to not allow our demons to control our lives, our endings are our own to write.

“You can’t put old heads on young shoulders.” As a parentified child this hit me in maybe a different way. My parents thought being young gave them an edge but it just put them on edge. Poor, always fighting for survival while the kids helped raise each other. My traumas make me fight like hell to keep my kids young heads on young shoulders for as long as possible because that’s the bare minimum of what they deserve.

There was so much more to this book I could go on and on. I always value books where the author bares their whole soul for the world to view. It’s vulnerable, strong and incredibly eye opening to other human experiences.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before they die, those who never read live only one” Thanks to authors who share their words, experiences and trauma we get to see the world through different eyes each time. The more we understand one another the more we appreciate one another. I really appreciated getting a different world view while validating similar experiences. Well written, well thought out and again we see the beautiful resilience of the human spirit.

[Linda Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a captivating memoir. The verse is so cleverly written, and inspiring. It’s raw and emotional. I did laugh out loud at one point. It’s profound and intensely personal. I was moved by Catherine’s story. There’s a clear, strong message. Recommend.

[Jacelin Clayton · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was all written in verse/poem form which was really impressive! However I think I like more of a typical memoir as it is easier to follow along the story line. I was hoping to hear more about the actual religion too! Super quick read.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happy birthday to my book baby!

[Vesta Lycan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional book! Heart breaking, but so many people would benefit from reading this book.