What do you think?
Rate this book
I Am A Soldier's Wife: The Life and Love of Toni Lidder
In one of her last messages to her husband, Toni on 8 December 2021, Geetika ‘I want to go to the Taj with you. Moonlit night.’ ‘Yes yes… let us do it first week next year,’ he replied almost an hour later, onboard a Mi-17V5 helicopter when the helicopter crashed near Coonoor. A decorated officer of 2 JAK RIF with ‘sharp military intellect’, Toni’s life was cut short, at only 52 years, just as he was set to take over a division in J&K, and his family was looking forward to spending more time together.
An army daughter herself, Geetika knew the perils of being married to an infantry soldier. But does anything prepare you for such a sudden, quick, cruel turn of events? How do you gather strength to respond to media at the funeral of your loved one, ‘I am a soldier’s wife… We must give him a smiling send-off’?
Life is tough for a soldier’s wife and is not often written about. Geetika’s book is a brave step in opening her heart and sharing the constant battle between emotions, courage, and integrity in the lives of army wives. This book is part love story, tribute, and family history, but above all, it’s a story of celebrating the person that Toni was to his family, friends, and paltan.
An army daughter herself, Geetika knew the perils of being married to an infantry soldier. But does anything prepare you for such a sudden, quick, cruel turn of events? How do you gather strength to respond to media at the funeral of your loved one, ‘I am a soldier’s wife… We must give him a smiling send-off’?
Life is tough for a soldier’s wife and is not often written about. Geetika’s book is a brave step in opening her heart and sharing the constant battle between emotions, courage, and integrity in the lives of army wives. This book is part love story, tribute, and family history, but above all, it’s a story of celebrating the person that Toni was to his family, friends, and paltan.
228 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 7, 2025
4 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
April 12, 2025
A real love story.
True heart break.
An enduring tale of strength and resilience.
What I admire the most about the army is the deep, unbreakable bonds it fosters - a family that goes beyond blood. The passing of Lidder Uncle came as a shock to many, including his big army family. Reading I Am A Soldier’s Wife felt deeply personal not just because I’ve known Aashna and lived the fauji life but because this book offers a raw, real, and unfiltered window into an army life lived with immense love, resilience and candour.
Geetika Aunty’s writing is not only beautiful, but deeply candid and affecting. She speaks openly about grief, love, career, infertility, and the realities of marriage - topics that are so often kept silent. It takes extraordinary courage to bare one’s soul the way Aunty has and in doing so, she offers strength to so many. Reading uncle-aunty’s incredible love story—with all its perfect imperfections—offered me both inspiration and perspective as I begin to explore and adjust to my own married life. She was Uncle’s rock through his amazing career, and he was hers - her hero, with all his human imperfections.
This is also an amazing read for anyone wanting a glimpse into army life i.e. the rhythm of postings every 2–3 years, the contrast between peace and field tenures and the resilience it demands.
I was truly enamoured by the grit and remarkable journey of the Lidders. The movie-like difficult realities an army officer faces head on at each stage of life and the immense amount of studying required every few years as they progress are things people outside the community often cannot fathom. On top of that, they carry the constant challenge of being away from their families, often longing for their presence, while still trying to fulfil their duties as much as possible. Excelling in his career, Lidder Uncle exemplified the very best of what it means to serve with integrity, intellect and a heart full of love.
Aunty’s narrative also further deepened my respect for the indispensable role of an army wife. Constantly uprooting and moving homes every 2-3 years, adjusting careers or often almost single-handedly taking care of children, managing their lives and helping them settle into new environments, all while supporting a husband who is stationed in challenging, high-risk positions. These are just a few of the immense responsibilities they shoulder with grace and resilience. Aunty truly played her part and continues to do so with unwavering strength and poise. The admiration, respect and affection I’ve always felt for darling Aashna made even more sense after seeing the path her parents have trodden.
The book also brought me a fresh perspective on my own parents’ fauji life - something I’ve mostly enjoyed and sometimes struggled with, but perhaps often underestimated in terms of the trials and tribulations they faced head on. I had so many flashbacks to my own childhood while reading about many of the same places we were also posted to over the years, and of course, the wonderful time as HC40, with everlasting bonds. It felt deeply heartening.
What happened to Toni Uncle was heart-breaking. So sudden. So Unimaginable. But the way Geetika Aunty and Aashna continue to move through life makes it feel like the man so full of love, laughter, and passion for his work continues to shine through their journeys. And the army family they built and nourished together, along with so many others who hold them dear, is here to stay for them.
This story, this life, this love will stay with me for a long time.
True heart break.
An enduring tale of strength and resilience.
What I admire the most about the army is the deep, unbreakable bonds it fosters - a family that goes beyond blood. The passing of Lidder Uncle came as a shock to many, including his big army family. Reading I Am A Soldier’s Wife felt deeply personal not just because I’ve known Aashna and lived the fauji life but because this book offers a raw, real, and unfiltered window into an army life lived with immense love, resilience and candour.
Geetika Aunty’s writing is not only beautiful, but deeply candid and affecting. She speaks openly about grief, love, career, infertility, and the realities of marriage - topics that are so often kept silent. It takes extraordinary courage to bare one’s soul the way Aunty has and in doing so, she offers strength to so many. Reading uncle-aunty’s incredible love story—with all its perfect imperfections—offered me both inspiration and perspective as I begin to explore and adjust to my own married life. She was Uncle’s rock through his amazing career, and he was hers - her hero, with all his human imperfections.
This is also an amazing read for anyone wanting a glimpse into army life i.e. the rhythm of postings every 2–3 years, the contrast between peace and field tenures and the resilience it demands.
I was truly enamoured by the grit and remarkable journey of the Lidders. The movie-like difficult realities an army officer faces head on at each stage of life and the immense amount of studying required every few years as they progress are things people outside the community often cannot fathom. On top of that, they carry the constant challenge of being away from their families, often longing for their presence, while still trying to fulfil their duties as much as possible. Excelling in his career, Lidder Uncle exemplified the very best of what it means to serve with integrity, intellect and a heart full of love.
Aunty’s narrative also further deepened my respect for the indispensable role of an army wife. Constantly uprooting and moving homes every 2-3 years, adjusting careers or often almost single-handedly taking care of children, managing their lives and helping them settle into new environments, all while supporting a husband who is stationed in challenging, high-risk positions. These are just a few of the immense responsibilities they shoulder with grace and resilience. Aunty truly played her part and continues to do so with unwavering strength and poise. The admiration, respect and affection I’ve always felt for darling Aashna made even more sense after seeing the path her parents have trodden.
The book also brought me a fresh perspective on my own parents’ fauji life - something I’ve mostly enjoyed and sometimes struggled with, but perhaps often underestimated in terms of the trials and tribulations they faced head on. I had so many flashbacks to my own childhood while reading about many of the same places we were also posted to over the years, and of course, the wonderful time as HC40, with everlasting bonds. It felt deeply heartening.
What happened to Toni Uncle was heart-breaking. So sudden. So Unimaginable. But the way Geetika Aunty and Aashna continue to move through life makes it feel like the man so full of love, laughter, and passion for his work continues to shine through their journeys. And the army family they built and nourished together, along with so many others who hold them dear, is here to stay for them.
This story, this life, this love will stay with me for a long time.
March 18, 2025
As I reflect on this book one year later, I feel compelled to offer my heartfelt appreciation. The Lidder Legacy is a powerful and deserving tribute. I still remember, as a civilian, hearing the news of the tragic chopper crash that claimed the lives of several soldiers, including our first CDS, General Bipin Rawat. This book delves into the life of Brigadier Lakhbinder Singh Lidder, brought vividly to life through the words of his partner, Geetika Lidder.
The tragic chopper crash of December 8, 2021, we lost great soldiers and families lost their loved ones. Through this book, Geetika ma’am continued to keep the ‘Lidder charm’ alive. The book is a reminder that leaders are born as ordinary people, they are shaped as officers in the Indian Army. I hope it helps to inspire many budding defence aspirants.
It takes immense courage to revisit such painful moments after the loss of a loved one, and Geetika’s strength shines through in her writing. Military life may prepare one for many challenges, but I believe no training can truly equip you to cope with the overwhelming grief that follows such a loss. Grief has its own timeline, and this book poignantly captures that journey.
The book has been divided into 24 chapters, discussing about the military achievements of Brid. Lidder. The book is not just about the trials of being married to someone in the military but also the resilience and strength it takes to endure constant separations, periods of uncertainty, and the fear of losing a loved one.
Excerpts from the book
“I believe in people coming into each other’s lives for a reason. As souls, we have all travelled through life in many forms – as siblings, friends, lovers, parents – each one giving us a new role. And in every life, we attract and interact with the same souls. They have scores to settle with each other – some must repay the kindness and deeds of their past life while others have to work harder to create balances, yet again. This is the circle and cycle of karma and our entire life is about closures.”
Resonating with every word extracted from this book which I picked up last week. In it’s entirety, the book speaks volumes about Late Brig. Lidder and how the Army prepares you for the unexpected.. yet grief takes its own time to absorb in our souls.
The tragic chopper crash of December 8, 2021, we lost great soldiers and families lost their loved ones. Through this book, Geetika ma’am continued to keep the ‘Lidder charm’ alive. The book is a reminder that leaders are born as ordinary people, they are shaped as officers in the Indian Army. I hope it helps to inspire many budding defence aspirants.
It takes immense courage to revisit such painful moments after the loss of a loved one, and Geetika’s strength shines through in her writing. Military life may prepare one for many challenges, but I believe no training can truly equip you to cope with the overwhelming grief that follows such a loss. Grief has its own timeline, and this book poignantly captures that journey.
The book has been divided into 24 chapters, discussing about the military achievements of Brid. Lidder. The book is not just about the trials of being married to someone in the military but also the resilience and strength it takes to endure constant separations, periods of uncertainty, and the fear of losing a loved one.
Excerpts from the book
“I believe in people coming into each other’s lives for a reason. As souls, we have all travelled through life in many forms – as siblings, friends, lovers, parents – each one giving us a new role. And in every life, we attract and interact with the same souls. They have scores to settle with each other – some must repay the kindness and deeds of their past life while others have to work harder to create balances, yet again. This is the circle and cycle of karma and our entire life is about closures.”
Resonating with every word extracted from this book which I picked up last week. In it’s entirety, the book speaks volumes about Late Brig. Lidder and how the Army prepares you for the unexpected.. yet grief takes its own time to absorb in our souls.
May 21, 2025
Book Name- “I am a soldier’s wife: The life and love of Toni Lidder”🇮🇳
Author- @liddergeetika
Publisher- @rolibooks
Genre- Biography
.
“He loved me and that was the most important thing. There was no song and dance about it. I hardly remember him to be the typical girls’ dream-come-true mushy hero. He was real and that was it.”
.
A relevant tribute to a great hero, as narrated by none other than his wife who has seen his life so closely. The tragic chopper crash of December 8, 2021, we lost great soldiers and families lost their loved ones. An evocative and outspoken narration of an army officer’s life. I loved the dedication page written by the author, it’s just so beautiful and heart warming. The challenges an officer faces are not only his own, in fact they are shared and faced equally by every member of the family. And despite of all the ups and downs, the officer is always ready to defend the borders, with a smile. A brilliant and strong officer as Brigadier Lidder was, he was always in the forefront to shoulder the responsibilities in the service of the nation. Salute to our armed forces and their families as the families sacrifice no less, if I may say the family sacrifices more. It’s Beautiful, touching,courageous, strong ,powerful to hide emotions, how gracefully expressed your life, your love ,your strength, your inside struggles. The book is not just about the trials of being married to someone in the military but also the resilience and strength it takes to endure constant separations, periods of uncertainty, and the fear of losing a loved one. His story is a reminder that true leadership is not about seeking power of glory, but about serving others, inspiring those around us and leaving a lasting impact on our organisations and communities. One of the best books i have read this year, it’s unique, provocative, pure and a story which will be with u for a long time.
Review- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Author- @liddergeetika
Publisher- @rolibooks
Genre- Biography
.
“He loved me and that was the most important thing. There was no song and dance about it. I hardly remember him to be the typical girls’ dream-come-true mushy hero. He was real and that was it.”
.
A relevant tribute to a great hero, as narrated by none other than his wife who has seen his life so closely. The tragic chopper crash of December 8, 2021, we lost great soldiers and families lost their loved ones. An evocative and outspoken narration of an army officer’s life. I loved the dedication page written by the author, it’s just so beautiful and heart warming. The challenges an officer faces are not only his own, in fact they are shared and faced equally by every member of the family. And despite of all the ups and downs, the officer is always ready to defend the borders, with a smile. A brilliant and strong officer as Brigadier Lidder was, he was always in the forefront to shoulder the responsibilities in the service of the nation. Salute to our armed forces and their families as the families sacrifice no less, if I may say the family sacrifices more. It’s Beautiful, touching,courageous, strong ,powerful to hide emotions, how gracefully expressed your life, your love ,your strength, your inside struggles. The book is not just about the trials of being married to someone in the military but also the resilience and strength it takes to endure constant separations, periods of uncertainty, and the fear of losing a loved one. His story is a reminder that true leadership is not about seeking power of glory, but about serving others, inspiring those around us and leaving a lasting impact on our organisations and communities. One of the best books i have read this year, it’s unique, provocative, pure and a story which will be with u for a long time.
Review- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
April 2, 2025
Highly recommended. Plz do read. I couldn’t stop tearing up while reading this because this is a real life story. A glorious life cut short because of an unfortunate incident. In the end it did made me wonder what would have been if this hadn’t happen..? As a fauji wife I could connect with so many things mentioned here. While reading this book I felt how fleeting life is. One moment we are making future plans and another moment everything comes crashing down. That one person from whom everything flows, the best friend, the confidant, the source of our Infinite joy is not there anymore. The mere thought is so terrifying. In our busy lives the memories we make and the beautiful moments we spend with our loved ones especially our spouse are the only things that will stay with us etched in our heart when they are not there. It is only those beautiful memories of the blissful life we once lived and the love which we shared will be reminisced again and again. So it is soo important to take a pause, breathe, be grateful to GOD almighty and appreciate the blessings of our lives and the things that we take granted for. From finding the littlest joy in the hustle bustle of a fauji life to the biggest trials and tribulations any fauji wife could go through everything has been shared in this book. Her grief, anguish, heartache could be felt profoundly. Mrs lidder has laid bare her heart in this tale. It is a beautiful heartfelt tribute to (Late) Brig L.S. Lidder. A must read ❤️
August 25, 2025
While watching news related to India's 79th Independence Day celebration, I am glad I came to know about this book. Once I started reading it, I couldn't keep it down. It is certainly one of the best books I have read, written from the bottom of her heart, it touches your heart in more than one ways. Even though it is essentially a story of eternal and pure love between two fine individuals, it is a story of bravery, dedication to the nation, valour, sincerity, hard work, committment, ability to handle frequent changes in your job description and the place where you stay and much more. I couldn't control my tears while reading the chapters about his death and it's immediate aftermath. She has honestly exposed her raw emotions and vulnerability to us all so that we can learn from it. Hats off to late Brigadier Tony Lidder and brave Mrs Geetika Lidder. Thank you for sharing your love story (between two pure souls) and your love towards our Motherland, India. We are richer after experiencing it. Take care Madam. We salute you and Late Brigadier Tony Lidder.
February 17, 2025
The book reflects on the author's courage and resilience following the tragic 2021 helicopter crash, which claimed the lives of her husband Brigadier Lidder, along with Chief of Defence Staff Bipin Rawat and 12 others on 8 December 2021. A moving read, this memoir is one for the ages – a testament for our armed forces, their families and all that they go through.
January 16, 2026
The writing shoots through the heart. It's a wonderful love story related to military life- separations, homecomings, postings, new people, familiar people, financial difficulties, uncertainties and fate. In the end all it does is reiterate the old age adage "life goes on and one has to move on , but the memories and legacies of the loved ones that we lost always remain."
Highly recommended.
Highly recommended.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews