How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want

by Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

The Internet’s most popular sex coach answers every TMI question about sex, dating, and relationships in this guide to sexual satisfaction that also features well-researched studies, engaging quizzes, prompts, and more

Dubbed the “Internet’s Resident Sexpert” by Paper magazine and known as the “Queen of Sex” on TikTok, Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn believes every person has the right to an incredible and fulfilling sex life, a message she preaches to her more than 2.3 million followers on social media. How Do You Like It? introduces new trends, unique exercises, and nontraditional perspectives on sex, dating, and relationships and presents various in-depth methods of communication to use no matter where you are on your journey. Through intrapersonal, interpersonal, and societal lenses, Dr. Tara raises important questions like why do most people have low sexual self-esteem and why don’t we hold ourselves accountable for a mediocre sex life? With her tongue-in-cheek writing and fun personality, her answers are not only refreshing and unique but also informative and will help those struggling to understand themselves and their partners. This is the comprehensive sex education you never knew you needed.

Dr. Tara also reveals novel concepts in the sexual wellness space, from her own Myers-Briggs–inspired “Sexual Profile Quiz” to what’s exciting and trending in sex, porn, relationship types, and much more. So whether you’re in a monogamous, open, or polyamorous relationship or are curious about your sexual profile, Dr. Tara shows us that self-understanding, sexual communication, and erotic solutions will lead to long-term sexual fulfillment. How Do You Like It? gives readers the permission to uncover their own sexual desires and overcome toxic sex shaming while also equipping them with the tools needed to discover their true sexual identities and lead a fulfilling sex life.

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Hardcover

Published October 21, 2025

Reviews

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed) by Tara Suwinyattichaiporn
Rating: 4.6/5

Initial Impressions
Dr. Tara’s How Do You Like It? is a bold, inclusive manifesto for sexual self-discovery, blending academic rigor with the irreverent charm of a viral TikTok. As a tenured professor and social media “Sexpert,” she dismantles shame with a toolkit of quizzes, communication exercises, and trend analyses—all delivered in her signature cheeky yet compassionate voice.

Emotional Resonance & Reactions
Reading this felt like a liberating therapy session. Dr. Tara’s reframing of sexual self-esteem (Why settle for mediocre?) challenged my unexamined assumptions, while her Myers-Briggs-inspired Sexual Profile Quiz sparked a genuine aha! moment. The chapter on non-monogamy normalized diverse desires without glossing over practical complexities. However, some pop-culture references (e.g., TikTok trends) risk dating the material, and the sheer volume of exercises could overwhelm casual readers.

Strengths
-Inclusivity: Covers monogamy, polyamory, and solo exploration with equal respect, avoiding heteronormative or vanilla biases.
-Actionable Tools: Quizzes and prompts (like erotic solution frameworks) transform theory into practice.
-Tone Mastery: Balances humor (Queen of Sex wit) with poignant insights on shame and communication.

Constructive Criticism
-Depth vs. Breadth: While wide-ranging, some topics (e.g., porn’s psychological impact) beg for deeper dives.
-Structural Flow: Jumps between quizzes, essays, and trend lists can feel disjointed; clearer section transitions would help.
-Accessibility: Assumes baseline tech-savviness (e.g., social media slang); a glossary might aid older readers.

Final Verdict
This isn’t just a sex guide—it’s a rebellion against silence. Dr. Tara’s blend of scholarship and meme-worthy relatability makes How Do You Like It? essential reading for anyone ready to trade shame for agency.

Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for the review copy.

Rating: 4.6/5 (A joyous, if occasionally scattered, roadmap to erotic empowerment.)

[Sarah Bridges · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a fun and informative read. I discovered that I’m a DKMA. You should read it and take the quiz to find out your sexual profile. Dr Tara talks about the taboo of sex and how it’s up to us to change the conversation and stigma of sex. Unfortunately sex ed does not prepare us for the reality of sex and so many people find it hard to discuss.

I would strongly recommend this book even if you already feel comfortable talking about sex because it is full of entertaining and informative stories.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Sarah R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It taught me so much and was such an easy read. Highly recommend!!