Farm Fatale: A Comedy of Country Manors

by Wendy Holden

Two urban couples seeking the rustic bliss of rural life head for the quaint village of Eight Mile Bottom, a rural utopia populated by eccentric residents, including a reclusive rock star and a ghost, where both couples find a host of romantic complications. By the author of Simply Divine. Original.

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, Romance, Womens Fiction, British Literature, Contemporary Romance, Mystery

339 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Wendy Holden grew up in Yorkshire, and studied English at Girton College, Cambridge. She worked in magazines for many years before joining Tatler's in 1997 as deputy editor, and later moved to the Mail on Sunday’s You magazine, which she left in 2000 to concentrate on writing. She regularly writes features for newspapers and magazines on a range of social, topical and lifestyle subjects and is also a television and radio contributor.

She has now published ten novels, Gallery Girl, Beautiful People, Bad Heir Day, Pastures Nouveaux, Fame Fatale, Azur Like It, The Wives of Bath, The School for Husbands, Filthy Rich, Farm Fatale, Gossip Hound, Simply Divine, all top 10 bestsellers.

Holden is married, and lives in England with her family.

Reviews

[Annie ⚜️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. I have to admit, I have to like at least one "main" character in the story to enjoy a book. Not the case here. They were all pretty awful except Rosie who, I don't know, lacked spirit and insure. The thing about awful characters is I want to know why they're so bad. No such enlightenment here. The characters were somewhat wooden. Also it was halfway through the book before any action got going. I guess this was supposed to be funny but for the most part it was just boring to me. I saw the reviews weren't great but the story was so up my alley I wanted it give it a shot. Ah, well.

[Juliana Graham · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, let's be honest. Firstly I picked this book up in error, thinking it was by an author I liked. A silly mistake to make, but the cover styles of Wendy Holden's books are very similar to those of Judy Astley. I like Judy Astley... In my haste in the library I grabbed this book and began to listen to it (talking book you see) on my way to and from work. I remember thinking to myself that it was not in the usual style of the author I thought it was (I know, I know, my mistake) but by the time I realised my error I had already got through a fair few chapters and I HATE to give up on a book once I've invested more than a few minutes in it.

So, I plodded on. Where to start on what is wrong with this book...? Firstly, the characters are the most one-dimensional, raging stereotypes I have had the misfortune to encounter since marking a 14 year old's creative writing project. In addition to this, they are not only stereotypes but also thoroughly dislikeable. I know that humorous books exaggerate characteristics to make situations amusing, but the characters here, with their bizarre names and excessive behaviour often descended into the farcical. The plot itself had potential - young couple move to the country, find things not quite as they expected, adventures ensue. However, everything was so overblown and any potentially funny situations were SO obvious that you could guess where a funny piece of dialogue or scene was going by the end of the first sentence. The main character, Rosie, was such a wet lettuce and it seemed to me that she would have ended up with any character that gave her the time of day, falling in and out of love according to how nice the current object of her desire was to her at any given moment.

I will never, ever read another Wendy Holden book. It took me so long to get through because I found it so tedious. Chick Lit at its worse and I'm no book snob, but I really don't get why anyone would find this book amusing! The only bit that made me smile was that the farmer had a cow called Jennifer Lopez. I once knew a farmer who also had a cow called Jenny, because she had a big bottom like J-Lo. That anecdote is funnier than anything you will find in this book... I rest my case.

[Ivonne Rovira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poor Rosie had given up on her dream of moving to the British countryside when her live-in boyfriend Mark, an underappreciated journalist, gets the assignment of writing a regular column on how — in Mark’s editor’s words — “moving from the city to the country is the millennium dream” and “what it’s really like to swap SW7 for rural heaven.”

Needless to say, the relocation to the village of Eight Mile Bottom ne’er runs smooth. Mark is no less self-absorbed in the village than he was in their apartment in the London suburb of Easthampstead. (After all, he moved for his own benefit, not because of what Rosie wanted.) But Rosie rises to the occasion and comes into her own. Farm Fatale combines both quite funny situations and some sweet bits in a convincing fashion without it sounding patched together.

At the same time, B-grade actress and trophy wife Samantha Villiers relocates to the same village, along with her ruthless, cynical and self-absorbed banker husband Guy Grabster. Samantha, a selfish prima donna given to embellishing her movie résumé, has succumbed to every passing fad, and that includes the new trend of country life. Samantha now envisions herself the lady of the manor at The Bottoms, a 17th century manor house, and the arbiter of life in Eight Mile Bottom. You’ll forsee that this grasping social climber will get her comeuppance, but, when it comes, you’ll still savor the satisfaction.

Farm Fatale, of course, constitutes a Cinderella story with Rosie in the starring role. I won’t ruin the novel for you by giving away who fills the role of Prince Charming, but I promise you’ll love to see Rosie happy at long last.

This is my first Wendy Holden novel; it won’t be the last.

[Irene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Perhaps my age is showing, but I found this a bit too much of a raunchy read. Trying to be funny, I found it rather vulgar in parts. It is also one of those books that have you rolling your eyes at the silly, stereotypical characters but who am I to talk? I read it all the way through to the end in order to find out what happened. I admit to skimming through most of the descriptions and the Samantha bits only to reach a rather unsatisfying ending. Rosie is mostly pathetic and it ended all rather abruptly as though the writer had to finish it for a deadline.
Don't spend money on this, but if you find it free at the hotel or poolside, it might keep you occupied for a few hours

[Beka · Rating 1 out of 5]

Literally worst book i have ever suffered through. The author spends half the time going off about furniture and crap. There is a typo on page 293 where the author miscalls a character named Matt, calling him Luke instead (and there is no character in the book of the name of Luke). Another typo is on page 336 where she misspells her own flipping character's name: Alan, as Alen. I wouldn't wish this book upon my worst enemy.

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading books about poisoning, strangulation, abduction and rabid dogs, I needed something light for my holiday. This did the trick. Although rarely laugh out loud, it held my attention, even if the characters were hard to believe and their behaviours were either psych 101 or just ridiculously out of the realms of anything normal!

[J.A. Kerr · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've didn't enjoy this as much as her others but a good solid read.

[Jessica Layman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a British comedy of manners through and through. I definitely think it's one of those that would have been much better if I was a British person in 2002 when this was published. While I was able to follow along with most of the cultural references, I did just assume some of them were funny and move on.

Like I mentioned, this is supremely a comedy of manners, meaning the characters, while interesting and ridiculous, because obviously, were not extraordinarily deep. I'm not sure there was a large amount of character growth from anyone, but is that really necessary in a comedy? I thought the plot was interesting enough, and it certainly captivated me because I was so interested in finding out what happened!

This is 3 stars because I think the author could have made it more timeless and not quite so specifically 2002. Also because, in the end, it wasn't the best written thing I've ever read, and the ending is a little over the top cheesy.

[William Stafford · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I'm in the mood for it, Wendy Holden's scathing satirical swipes at middle-class pretentions really hit the spot. This tale of city folk moving to the country with romantic notions about a better life is an absolute hoot from start to finish, and somehow we come to feel affection for the targets of Holden's poison pen, even the dreadful Samantha a small-time actress with big ideas and no talent. The book is populated with a wealth of amusing characters and, this being a rom-com, we actually care about who protagonist Rosie will end up with. Setting up her characters and assassinating them with deft strokes, Holden pulls off a hugely entertaining story, providing an antidote to this wicked world without having to leave your cynicism at the door. Delicious!

[Cynthia Singiser · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found most of the book very funny and entertaining. Love the British sense of humor. The ending was extremely disappointing in that the Rosie character could only find happiness when she found a man. Things were tied up too neatly at the end. The rest of it was messy and it should have ended that way too.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it, I liked many of the similes that Wendy used, I laughed in a few places. I think most non- British folk would not understand many of the dropped names or British phrases. The characters were interesting. One strange thing, if Rosie and Mark did not like the Postman just walking in the front door, why did they not keep it locked. I would.

[Catherine Chliaras · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extremely fun book!
Maybe someone wouldn't expect it, but Wendy Holden's writing is a great, genius, full of humour and overturns piece of literature infested with loads of lessons and precepts!
I couldn't put it down: Rosie, the village, and all the wanna-be boyfriends were hilarious!
Great work!

[LyndaIn Oregon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one just didn't do it for me.

Two London couples pick the same small village as their get-away-from-it-all destination. Largely unlikeable or clueless characters and an author who is inordinately pleased with her "inside" jokes drag everything down.

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

SHE GETS MARRIED TO MATT??? JACK GETS MARRIED AFTER TWO WEEKS?! GUYS EX WIFE TAKES HIM BACK???????????

I cannot believe this was the book that got me back into reading again I'm livid. Was a decent read up until the last 80 pages and now I want to throw things.

[Rory · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great little book. Love the characters and silly antics. Light and funny read.

[Leeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel was a romance. Set in the present time in the UK in a small village near London. Lots of humor. About life in a small village, journalists, artists and musicians.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Typical British romp. Heavy on drama.

[Deniselt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very dull, couldn’t get behind any of the characters, and I felt the humor was non existent

[Charlie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I painfully stuck at it. Complete and utter rubbish. Don't waste your time. You won't get it back.

[PJ Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun read. Had some really interesting and funny moments. Ending was a bit of a letdown.

[Sarah Briscoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bit of a slow start but really rather good. Laugh out loud parts. Perfect holiday read.

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-read of a book I haven't read in ages. Some of the references are kind of dated, and very British, but it's a fun satire.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book cover was right: It is a romp! A really fun read.

[Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this, just standard chick-lit, I could guess what was coming next half the time

[Maria Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it but it ended very suddenly!

[Amber Kuntz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn't end how I expected. Was hard to get into it at first.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found this in a random street library and so happy I did. Laughed and laughed 10/5 stars

[Jo K Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light-hearted book about town people moving to the country and the antic they get up to. It is situation comedy of errors and bad judgment.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked it and recommend it for writers at all levels.

[Elizabeth (Thoughts From an Evil Overlord) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wendy Holden has done it again! With Farm Fatale: A Comedy of Country Manors she had me cracking up as well as worrying about her heroine Rosie, and her semi-unfocused life. Illustrator Rosie lives in London with her boyfriend Mark, an ambitious reporter. Desperately wanting to move to a country village, Rosie is able to pull her plan together when Mark is given the opportunity to write his own column. They will find a country cottage and Mark will write about their experiences as Londoners learning the country way of life. A cottage built in 1649 with an overgrown garden becomes their home, surrounded by quirky yet friendly neighbors and visited daily by the nosiest postman in England. Rosie adapts well to their new home, bringing the garden back to life, finding the perfect illustrating job to complete in her rural world, and making friends all over Eight Mile Bottom. Mark is having a more difficult adjustment, unable to find topics worthy of his column, holing up in the cottage, and worrying about the criticisms of his editor.
Rosie and Mark grow apart, and Rosie grows close with a local farmer while Mark begins questioning the wisdom of staying in the countryside. A large social occasion in the village brings their relationship to a head, and in the days following Rosie and Mark begin building their separate lives.Farm Fatale is filled with funny characters and situations, including a wanna-be starlet and the local publican, who runs the village hen races. Wendy Holden gives us more thoughtful moments as Rosie contemplates jumping from one relationship to another, and she learns that the person the world sees is often not the person one is inside. I greatly enjoyed Wendy Holden's Farm Fatale, and would love another story about all the interesting characters of Eight Mile Bottom. I can't recommend this book more as a great example of fun, summer time beach reading!