“Fantasies of dying have filled my mind for as long as I can remember. I can recall little of my eighteen years of life, but the memories I do have are tainted with the desire to die. I’m not even scared of dying an agonizing death, because at the end of the torment, there would be silence. Nothing. Peace. I’ve prayed every night of my life to God not to wake me up in the morning, but even He, the perfect example of a father, leaves me to suffer. Perhaps tonight my prayers will be answered.”
For the first eighteen years of her life, Olivia knew only pain. Held captive by her family, she survived by listening to the voice in her head, a voice that wasn’t hers, but one that helped her stay alive.
Escaping, beaten and bloodied, she is found barely alive by Essie, a young woman with wounds of her own, and Matt, her gentle-hearted husband. But healing isn’t linear. Olivia battles with self-harm, an eating disorder, and the devastating she is not alone in her own mind.
Inside her are Millie, the fierce protector, and Poppy, a joyful four-year-old clinging to safety. Together, they carry the trauma Olivia can’t yet speak aloud. And together, they begin to learn what hope feels like.
As Olivia rebuilds her life, she finds an unexpected connection with Jake, Matt’s younger brother, a man who sees every fractured part of her and never looks away.
This is a story of survival, found family, and the slow, aching beauty of recovery. Because healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were. It means becoming someone new, together.
This book contains sensitive themes that some readers may find upsetting or triggering. These include, but are not limited to; miscarriage, depictions of physical abuse, flashbacks of graphic childhood abuse (physical, emotional and sexual), self harm, suicide attempts, disordered eating (specifically anorexia and bulimia), knife crime and alcohol abuse. Olivia is the fictional story of a young woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder and as a consequence may be triggering to anyone who has experienced dissociation, depersonalisation or derealisation. Olivia DOES have a happy ending but please don't read this book if you think it will put your health at risk.
A good read. Sad to think a lot of it is based on someone's life experiences. My only criticism would be that a proofreader was needed before publishing as there were quite a lot of mistakes.
WOW! When i say you need to read this book. I really mean it! Every emotion you could possibly feel i felt! Its a real page turner with so many twists and turns. I loved all the character POVS ESSIE AND MATT ARE PURE GOALS can we start a Jake fanclub please? Olivia was captivating. I just cannot! I feel like i need to read all over again, to gain insight from every angle! x
This book is a beautiful but heartbreaking healing journey. Olivia has dissociative identity disorder and has escaped and is healing from the horrors of her past. This book is a heavy and emotional read but so worth it.
This book was a tough read but gave you a good insight to DID as a condition and how someone with the condition has to live. I found the jumping amongst the characters quite tough as I kept having to remember which one I was reading in first person. Otherwise I read it over 4 hours.