On stopping family violence

Quarterly Essay #97

by Jess Hill

What will it take to stop gendered violence?
Australian governments have promised to end gendered violence in a single generation. But this bold commitment to nation building has not yet been matched by the funding, innovation and resources necessary to achieve it. If anything, since governments made that commitment two years ago, gendered violence has only men are murdering women at an increased rate, coercive control and sexual violence are becoming more complex and severe, and governments are not doing nearly enough to stop perpetrators weaponising technology and systems. Australians have taken to the streets again this year to demand that governments act.


In this urgent essay, Jess Hill investigates Australia's National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children to find out what's working and what's not – and what we can do to turn things around.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics, Feminism, Australia

Paperback

Published March 17, 2025

Reviews

[Callum's Column · Rating 5 out of 5]

Family and domestic violence (FDV) is a wicked problem that primarily afflicts women and children. Thanks to the rise of feminist thought over the last fifty years, Australia has implemented a world-leading reform agenda aimed at eradicating FDV in a generation. Jess Hill is one of the pre-eminent intellectuals examining this issue, having published See What You Made Me Do in 2019. However, with more women being murdered by their partners than ever, this essay is a timely and powerful follow-up that critiques some of the thinking that underpins current policy responses. Its publication may be an inflection point in Australia's ongoing response.

A man commits FDV when he "feels shame; lacks non-violent alternatives to restore a positive sense of himself; he does not have the capacity for genuine remorse; and is socialised into male gender roles that emphasise violence (or status/control)". It is currently theorised that if gender-based attitudes improve, FDV will decline. However, 15 years since the implementation of national FDV-reduction policy, FDV rates persist. It is time to update current approaches by prioritising the prevention of child maltreatment and supporting recovery for those harmed; regulating industries like alcohol, pornography and gambling; and providing greater support to victim-survivors.

By using a trauma-informed lens—particularly for children—one may alter their trajectory away from enacting antisocial behaviour as adults. State institutions must be underpinned by this approach to ensure children affected by FDV receive the love and support they desperately need, breaking the intergenerational trauma that strongly correlates with the perpetration of violence. A social media ban for those under 16 is about to be implemented, but it would be worthwhile to extend that to pornography. Alcohol and gambling should not be advertised and be readily available, as usage of both, especially alcohol, massively increases ones proclivity to perpetuate violence.

Real reform is needed. From a politico-philosophical perspective, Hill is tacitly advocating for the prioritisation of positive freedom over negative freedom. Without adequate care for victim-survivors, perpetrators remain free to terrorise—not only during abuse itself, but afterward by leaving the victim-survivors with conditions like PTSD. The state must intervene meaningfully in the lives of those affected—especially children, the younger the better. This approach is often more cost-effective than waiting for the problem to get worse medically or legally. Most importantly, however, it improves overall wellbeing and saves lives.

[Ash]

Harrowing. I cannot in all good faith rate this long essay by Hill - not because it isn't brilliantly written - but simply because I have found a flaw in the Goodreads system. Awarding a star rating for a discursive essay on gendered violence is not something I am willing to do.
Hopefully this review will suffice. Needless to say this was one of the most chilling and depressing reads of 2025. Will things get better in Australia as far as violence against women is concerned? I highly doubt it.

[liv (≧▽≦) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was harrowing. I was fighting back tears at least 5 times while listening to this.
I have no words (rare) other than: Everyone NEEDS to read this! (free to listen with audible atm)

It's so important.

I particularly appreciated Hill shedding light on the hypocracies of Australia's largest industries, who say they care about violence against women, yet continue to lobby the government to stop regulations on things that DIRECTLY contribute to this violence (i.e alcohol and gambling). I don't want to say too much else because I urge everyone to just read this!

No quotes, listened on audio.

[Liam McMahon · Rating 5 out of 5]

when Jess Hill writes, you stop and read

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

As another reviewer mentioned, rating this essay feels trite and a bit crass, so take my rating with a grain of salt and consider that this is simply one of the most important and essential quarterly essays yet.

[Philip Hunt]

The multi-dimensional causes of violence against women and children has stymied progress. Jess Hill lays out the problems and challenges with optimism.

[Lucia Babette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrifying!

[kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will recommend this essay to everyone. A vital read, highlighting terrifying realities of family violence and how it disproportionately impacts the lives and safety of women and children.

[jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you care a lot about violence against women I reckon you should read this, I really learnt a lot from it.

[jd · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great critical essay of the problems and barriers Australia is facing with domestic and family violence. Hill is able to capture and portray the severe impact of DFV on women, and particularly children, through the voices of those with lived experiences. The experiences, challenges and severe barriers victim-survivors face to find safety, really captures the frequency and severity of violence Aus is facing. It was refreshing to hear a discussion on male offender rehabilitation, prevention and education as a serious form of desistance - as people, myself included, are evidently losing faith in the government's current national plan, its current focus on criminalisation, and the message for people to call out gender inequality and gender based violence - it's important, but its not the single solution to reducing violence against women and children, and that should be noted.

This essay is a great introductory piece, highlighting key areas, particularly how significantly we are failing children of family violence, how disconnected our systemic structures are to involve the influence of culture, poverty, experience and family disfunction and violence - our systems need to do better. From here, it would be great for discussions to advocate for effective violence prevention and intervention programs for men, how we can better support children and what exactly we need to be advocating to government for to reduce violence.

[Andrea Hurt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like all of Jess's writing, this Quarterly Essay is thoughtful, well researched and insightful. Highlighting the governments historic approach to family and domestic violence, it's fair to say they put all their eggs in one basket - prevention through changing attitudes. A basket noone can dare evaluate or critique. Acting almost as a further chapter to her previous book See What You Made Me Do, Jess digs not just into what the experts say is best practice in solving these sociatal issues, she begins to discuss the root cause. And this is where the strength of this piece lays. How can we solve the trauma cycle which creates a continuous loop of men's violence against those they supposedly love.

With a woman killed almost every week in Australia, it's fair to say what we are currently doing isn't working. Jess find examples where the system created by governments actually continues to traumatise children caught in horrific situations, which ultimately creates the next generation of abusers. But as always, Jess gives us hope of another way forward. A way of supporting people and breaking cycles. If only the policy makers and government put their money into these approaches rather than punishment, or hoping that calling your mates out for sexist jokes will solve deep rooted trauma.

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight into the current situation. Hill breaks down the subject in a coherent and understandable way - how did government initiatives come into being; what is their success (or otherwise), how it's measured etc. She also drills down into brain health, ie trauma, and how a trauma based response would also help people manage. I've shared some of these with friends and they've gone "oh my, that's how I feel'. People who have not had the opportunity to or ability to read such literature. It's tough enough when you're 'well' to go through any system, imagine trying to when simultaneously suffering coercive control, trauma etc. No wonder it feels like the system is against you, and then there are those who fall through the cracks. I also appreciate how she mentioned women can also perpetrate violence (mothers to their children) and how survivors of that feel forgotten. We do. Thank you. This should be compulsory reading for the 'powers that be'. I always thought 'what perpetrator is going to watch a 30 second commercial and change his/her ways?' no-one. We need and deserve more.

[Luke]

Hill summarised the literature within two camps when thinking of where to focus DFV interventions/prevention: the feminist camp in Australia who focus on patriarchal values; and the psychopathology camp who tend to focus on trauma and individual factors. She says that after seeing how our efforts have worker to date in Australia, we should be conscious to broaden to better address the psychopathology side of our efforts. As a feminist and psychologist who works with traumatised children, I couldn't agree more. I wish we were talking about this more in the federal election we're having as I write this now in April 2025.

What a well written essay! Even if you don't look at the content, you can see that academic literature, statistics, primary journalism telling people's stories, and informed opinion were masterfully weaved together. There is no surprise Jess Hill has emerged as the strongest voice in the Australian media I've been exposed to about DFV.

[Ant · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard to rate, like the previous book by Hill. It is a well researched and convincingly argued overview of a highly depressing state of affairs around domestic violence in Australia. There are opposing camps in how prevention is understood and Hill attempts to present their views. She calls for cease fire in the battle between the opinion leaders. While trying to remain impartial I think I know which side Hill is on. I am not sure the essay adds much to what I learnt from the previous book. I don’t feel like a clear path is in sight for how to prevent DV. Still it’s important to discuss DV and of course it makes sense for the opposing camps to utilise energy to come up with solutions rather than continue to argue.

[Freyja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoy is the wrong word for how I always feel about Jess Hill's writing. I read 'Look What You Made Me Do' earlier this year - this is a natural progression from its subject matter. Her findings are thought-provoking, and her suggestions feel simultaneously necessary and impossible. How can we, as women, teach men to care about us as people (not just as sisters, mothers, girlfriends, wives) when they are starting from a place of disinterest, defensiveness, and disrespect?

I would love to sit down and re-read this with a highlighter and pencil to consider practical strategies I can implement in my own life as a classroom teacher to embed respect and empathy toward women in learning for my male students.

[mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

read the essay on violence against women and children (didn’t read the correspondence at the end regarding the previous issue of the quarterly essay).

this was a really insightful essay and it challenged me to think about violence against women and children in a different way, especially the drivers of this violence. it was interesting and illuminating to see what interventions worked and why, and how the australian government is failing at their goal to eradicate violence against women and children. hopefully australia, and other countries in the world can implement interventions that actually work at stopping violence and murder of women and children.

[Jade Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard read. I don’t think it’s ever taken me quite this long to get through a Quarterly Essay before. But then again, it hit a lot harder and a lot more personal than any other QE.

This is an urgent and provocative analysis of family violence in Australia. Hill offers not only a comprehensive picture of WHAT is going on, but also HOW we can fix it. I fear that I often find myself calling the QE “essential reading” but I really, really mean it this time.

[Gab · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extremely important essay and one I think should be as widely read as possible. For years mens' violence against women and children has been increasing, in Australia and all over the world. In 2015 the Australian government introduced a policy to try to stop this. Unfortunately that policy hasn't worked and Jess Hill argues in this essay that perhaps the premise of why men hurt women and children is incorrect. The policy is based on the assumption that if gender equality was improved, then violence should stop. However, in Nordic countries, gender equality is the highest in the world and still they have a violence problem. Hill argues that another theory should be looked at - the trauma suffered by perpetrators in their childhood, not as a way of excusing behaviour but as a way of explaining it and potentially working towards correcting it. Not an easy essay to read, but one well worth reading.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another piece of excellent analysis by Jess Hill. I hope those in government and public policy are taking notice. The solutions are there but to make real progress requires a genuine commitment from everyone, including the sporting codes and Clubs, to quit the window dressing and work like hell to help these damaged boys and men.

[Tish · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read but also so heart breaking. We know the answers, as Jess has highlighted in this essay, to stopping violence against women and children. How expects aren't banging their heads against walls when policy makers don't make the right decisions despite mountains of evidence.

[Charlie W]

I don't feel right to give it a star rating, but this really is mandatory reading. despite my misgivings about many of the more liberal notions of legislative adjustment being the main thrust of change, there are very powerful lessons to be learned in Hill's writing.

[Dulcie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughtful & challenging. There is much to ponder in this QE; one of the best in sometime.

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh dear. Where to from here?

[James Worsfold · Rating 5 out of 5]

For someone one who is saddened and frustrated at the constant headlines, this essay is a powerful tool for understanding and to know what to advocate for. Get your local MP to read this.

[Amalia Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

extremely confronting but answers presented are encouraging if acted upon. harrowing

[Stanley Xue · Rating 4 out of 5]

haven't read much on the topic at all so learnt a lot from this essay
the correspondence in the following issue was interesting to wizz through too

[Deb Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mandatory reading for all Australians if we are to halt gender-based violence in this country.

[Roman Gage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding essay and reporting. Eye-watering statistics. I cried at two of the stories rerounted here. Hill's writing is urgently powerful. Please read.

[Tallulah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well. I hated that.