I really wanted to enjoy this story, but the execution left me frustrated and confused. The timeline is jumpy and inconsistent, the worldbuilding is vague—especially for an Omegaverse book—and events often contradict one another or feel randomly inserted with no setup.
From the start, the pacing is all over the place. Chapter 1 begins two weeks before a tournament, with a few practices mentioned. Then suddenly we’re at departure with little warning. By Chapter 2, the characters refer to events that never happened. Chapter 3 ends with Sloane alone in her hotel room, falling asleep—only for Chapter 4 to open with her arriving at the hotel again and discovering she doesn’t have a room. It’s hard to track where we are, who is present, or when things are happening.
Even smaller details feel off. Sloane’s alarm goes off in the middle of the night or early morning for an interview, but she just turns it off and goes back to sleep. There’s no indication of what time it is, and scenes like this feel disconnected from any internal rhythm or logic.
The inconsistencies keep piling up: in Chapter 3, five people are in the van (Ryder, Finn, Mateo, Sloane, and the driver). But in Chapter 4, there’s suddenly a coach with them. Then the whole team is at the lodge? And somehow the rival team is there too, with zero explanation? It feels like scenes were revised or reshuffled without smoothing the transitions, leaving jarring gaps.
The worldbuilding is especially weak given the Omegaverse setting. The story directly references the Omegaverse—as in, literally says “in the omegaverse, anything can happen”—but doesn’t actually establish how things work in this version of that world. There’s no clarity around dynamics, instincts, or social rules, which makes major plot moments feel unearned and unrealistic.
That becomes a major problem during the heat scene. Sloane, an unclaimed omega, goes into heat while stuck in a loft—an open space—with a lodge full of stranded strangers. Logically, every alpha nearby should sense her distress, and genre norms suggest some kind of protective or possessive response. But that tension never materializes in a believable way. It feels like a setup for chaos without consequences, and it broke the immersion completely.
By Chapter 4, I had to stop. The story felt like it was being made up as it went along, with events added to push the plot forward rather than growing naturally from the world or characters. There’s definitely an interesting idea underneath it all, but it needed much tighter editing, stronger continuity, and actual world rules to make it work.