كيف يتعافى الطفل بداخلك؟ تغلب على صدمات الماضي والاهمال العاطفي في مرحلة الطفولة

by Simon Chapple, دينا المهدي (Translator)

"واءٌ كنتَ ضحيةً سابقةً أو الشخص الذي سيؤثِّرُ في حياةِ طِفلِه الآنَ، عليكَ بقراءةِ هذا الكتابِ لفَهمِ طبيعةِ أثرِ التربيةِ في نفوسِنا..
في هذا الكتاب:
• هل يعتمدُ تكوين شخصيَّتنا بالكاملِ على طريقةِ التربيةِ؟
• هل فعلًا كلّ شعورٍ مؤلمٍ في الحياةِ مصدرُه أيام الطفولةِ؟
• 15 حيلةً للوصولِ إلى السعادةِ والتعافِي من الإهمالِ العاطفِيِّ في مرحلةِ الطفولةِ.
• 10 طرقٍ محددةٍ لرسمِ خارطةِ طريقِ التعافِي لتُصبحَ شخصيةً طبيعيةً قادرةً على مَنحِ السعادةِ لنفسِها وللآخرينَ.
• دلائلُ وعلاماتُ أثَرِ الصدمةِ والإساءةِ والإهمالِ العاطفيّ.
• 11 تكتيكًا عمليًّا للتعامُلِ مع مشاعرِ الضِّيق وممارسةِ اليقَظةِ الذّهنيةِ وتدريبِ الوعْيِ.
• كيفَ يمكنُ للمرءِ أن يختارَ طريقًا مغايرًا تمامًا رغمَ سيطرةِ البيئةِ المحيطةِ على حياتِه ومُستقبلِه بشكلٍ كبيرٍ؟

كتابٌ مهمٌّ لكلِّ مَن عانَى قديمًا، خاصةً من أدركَ وجودَ المُعاناةِ دونَ فَهم سَببهَا.. ومَن اضطرّوا لكَبتِ تعبيرِهم عن شعورِ الحُزنِ، ومن سُلبوا طفولتَهم في الانخراطِ داخلَ حياةِ الكِبار."

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Counselling

384 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2025

Reviews

[Harriet Shearsmith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a good book for those interested in inner child work *however* there is quite a lot of excusing toxic parents and parental abuse - we can empathise without enabling and have compassion without being compliant. I also found the chapter surrounding victim mentality a little hard to read in places as I felt it ran a fine line between personal responsibility for healing and moving forwards and victim shaming. We can acknowledge we were victims of abuse without someone telling us there was “someone who had it worse” to shut us down and silence us. No professionals with experience in trauma led helping would recommend reminding yourself “someone else had it worse” every time you think of your experiences. It’s invalidating at best and the opposite of healing. I also found the chapter on spirituality a little … meh. It’s certainly provoked some thoughts for me and I really appreciated the acknowledgment that spirituality isn’t about religion.

All in all, a good book but very much written from the perspective of a privileged man who missed the mark in terms of trauma led healing a handful of times for me.

I STRONGLY recommend getting it in paperback because there is meant to be an accompanying workbook and I think that would have made all the difference to the experience of reading it!

[Mairéad · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 This helpful, practical guide to exploring your early childhood experiences, with a view to healing any negative effects they may have had, is a great place to start for anyone who is new to this kind of self reflection/discovery. Focusing on Childhood Emotional Neglect, an oft ignored area of psychological harm, the book is warm and supportive in it's tone making it an easy, enjoyable read despite the difficult memories and feelings it may trigger in the reader. Covering a broad range of strategies that could be helpful on your healing journey, suggesting additional resources for further support/help and sharing highly relatable, personal stories throughout, Simon Chapple does a great job of connecting with the reader and offering them a possible road map to a happier self. An interesting and worthwhile read, especially for anyone just beginning to explore this area.
Thanks to NetGalley and Sheldon Press for the free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[J. d'Merricksson · Rating 4 out of 5]

How To Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Chapple was a blessing to me. I finally felt seen. Chapple himself has gone through all the work he speaks about. In addition, he is a sobriety counselor.

The book covers what trauma is, what childhood emotional neglect (CEN), and how they shape adult behaviour. You'll learn how to connect with your inner child to begin healing the effects of trauma and neglect. I've read 'inner child' books before, and done some inner child work, but this time was different. I think mostly because the writing is engaging, and it's full of personal anecdotes. Other books didn't have quite the same personal aspects that made me feel validated.

Highly recommended!

*******Many thanks to Netgalley and Sheldon Press for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[Annie Maxwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

This took me a lot longer than most books to get through because there's a lot of valuable information that takes time to process.

A very common issue I've found with this book is that it contains a lot of excuses for people's behaviour. In the introduction alone, there is a lot of excuse making for parents saying 'they were put in a job that they wasn't qualified for' to excuse their bad behaviour. This is a very toxic way to think. Just because our parents struggled didn't give them a reason to take it out on their children. No one accidentally gets pregnant (rape is a rare case), and abortions exist. Our parents had a choice to get pregnant and have a child. In this generation, there are so many options for if you don't want a child like abortion and adoption. Also, regardless of that, it doesn't justify them abusing or neglecting a child. That child didn't have a choice but the parents did.

I like how interactive this book is with loads of exercises that you can do in your journal in every single chapter. I like how this book uses real life example to explain certain themes, which makes it easier to understand and helps you understand how it works in a real-life situation. The author provides good examples of positive self-talk and what to do and what not to do. There's incredible information on faking a version of yourself and limiting beliefs and how to heal and move past them. The author describes the effects of lying but justifies cheating as an 'mistake'.

I also didn't like the part about gratitude and reminding yourself that 'someone has it worse than you'. It's incredibly invaliding to what people are going through. Everyone's feelings and experiences are valid regardless of how big or small the issue is. If the issue is an issue to the person, then it is valid and should be dealt with according. I don't like this idea of invaliding what they're going through. That's what causes people to not reach out for help.

I feel like the author talks a bit too much about his own personal experiences, which isn't needed as much in this type of book. Multiple times in each chapter is about how it affected him, and whilst I understand the aim of this and trying to help readers understand, I think it was overdone. It is very clear the author is very privileged and likes to brag about his job and money wherever he can and miss the mark with childhood trauma. I would've liked a bit of illustrations in this book as it's not very aesthetically pleasing or a workbook aside this.

[MookNana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very thorough, helpful exploration of a subject that doesn't always get a lot of attention. Research and resources for those having experienced various forms of abuse in childhood are much more accessible and available than guidance for those who experienced childhood trauma or toxic patterns that might not have quite met the threshold of abuse, but nonetheless locked us into a lifetime of maladaptive coping behaviors.

The author very helpfully breaks down the various forms Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) can take and the different ways it can manifest itself in adults. Several exercises are recommended to move through the process of recognizing that CEN occurred, parsing its current effects, and addressing those unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. Working though this will hopefully result in a more self-aware, compassionate, and emotionally-aware life full of contentment!

Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!

[Maryah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very insightful yet easy-to-read (in terms of writing style) resource for anyone who's experienced childhood trauma. Although the writing is approachable, this isn't an easy ready and requires the reader to undertake a lot of (painful) introspection and self-reflection. The best way to describe this book is a written version of a peer-support worker.

My only bugbear is the lack of references; although the book includes a foreword from a psychotherapist, referring back to accredited studies or source materials on the different topics would have added that extra element of credibility particularly for those readers who are curious and may want to learn more about the research behind CEN, childhood trauma, etc.

[Adrianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for free on NetGalley so thank you to NetGalley and Sheldon Press for making this available!

This is a non-fiction book that talks about how to heal your inner child and how to cope with the effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and trauma. Throughout the book you learn things such as how to love yourself, discover your true self and how to make peace with events of the past.

I can’t express how much this book has helped me. I’ve got a whole list of notes and journaling prompts to help me on my recovery journey. The book is broken down into easy to manage sections and Simon regularly reassures you that there is no rush and you can come back to any section later when you are ready.

This book is a good place to start if like me you’re world was completely turned on it’s head when you went to therapy and we’re told that actually your childhood wasn’t all you thought it was. Some of the examples Simon gave could literally have been plucked from my head. I now feel like I have somewhere to start to rebuild my life because I find that’s the most tricky thing about becoming aware of your trauma, especially if it is more than one event that has caused it, is where to even begin tackling those emotions and feelings.

There are so many tactics and pieces of advice to equip you on this journey and Simon regularly repeats information (in a good way!) so that it sticks in your head. It’s also full of raw honesty and Simon talks about his own journey throughout which I think is incredibly admirable.

I would 100% recommend this book, I’m already wanting to get a physical copy so my husband can read it as well. One thing I will say is make sure you are ready because as Simon himself says, this isn’t an easy journey and you need to be willing to put yourself through some uncomfortable processes to come out the other side healed. This is all said in the book though so don’t worry! Thank you so much for this book Simon, you’ve helped yet another person!

[Lily Heron · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Heal Your Inner Child is a very good all-round starter for anyone beginning the journey towards healing childhood trauma. The book is suitable for general audiences, and therefore is less academic than some may be looking for, but it does not attempt to be academic, instead it presents a more personable approach to recovery. In particular, those who experienced emotional abuse and emotional neglect will find a lot to help them in this book, in my opinion. Sometimes I got some 'off' vibes from the book, in the sense that the author often plugs his sobriety course, and he seems somewhat anti-medication, but otherwise this is a helpful and interesting read.

disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from Sheldon Press via NetGalley and I am voluntarily leaving this honest review.

[Clara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a detailed, well-organised and thorough book to help readers who feel that something somewhere somehow feels wrong, and would like to find answers from their childhood. For readers who never imagined that they were abused or ill-treated during their childhood, it may never occur to them that their problems stem from their “non-problematic” childhood. Neglect when a child needs nothing less than full, unconditional love causes deep psychological harm. This book helps adults discover the root of their unease, and help them face it, then learn to overcome the hurt and manage the negative effects in life.

This book can also be a starting point for readers who had in fact been more severely abused, but are in deep denial of it, and so never seek help or even try to acknowledge that anything is wrong in their lives. This book can be the first step to start realising that something was wrong, and begin facing one’s trauma, and then digging deeper to the truth.

Disclosure: I received a free review copy via NetGalley.

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Described as "How to Heal Your Inner Child is a stepped and safe approach to confronting your past, with space for reflective and supportive strategies that will help you to foster self-compassion and break free from the destructive behaviours that have blighted your life.", and I have to say that it definitely does exactly that. This book is broken down into twenty six chapters (the stepped approach listed above) in a gentle guided way of walking someone down the path of healing, from the very beginning stages through the end stages, but even with the thought process that this is a continual journey that you may return to, time to time. This book is fantastic for someone who is just learning to identify their emotional responses to situations that they are looking for clarity on why they are acting the way they are acting, or reacting. For someone who has been down this particular journey, there are still nuggets of information that can be enlightening, so I still recommend taking the time to read it, especially for the journaling aspects of having you slow down and really taking the time to think about, reflecting, and maybe even identifying things that you might not have really given any thought about before. Normally I speed read through a book, but this one had me pausing to absorb what I just read, and letting the information just soak in, before I moved on. I think a lot of people would really find this as a helpful tool in their toolbox, in their path towards healing.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Dawn Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Chapple

9781529383638

410 Pages
Publisher: Nicholas Brealey US / Sheldon Press
Release Date: December 9, 2021

Nonfiction (Adult), Self-Help, Childhood Emotional Neglect, Trauma

When I started this book, I was hoping to find tips to help me deal with past traumas. I was not disappointed. I learned so much from this book. The author begins by. Describing and defining childhood emotional neglect and trauma. I liked how he described your inner child being stuck at the age of a particular trauma and how to reach/heal each incident.

This book is not an easy read if you have been traumatized but understand that to heal you must first identify what happened to you. I have been working with a coach for the past several months and refer to this book often. I now know how broken I was from my childhood, but I know that I am healing and will be whole.

[Muskan Modi]

This was a really helpful book. I picked it up during a state of extreme stress. I couldn't understand what was happening and how to figure things out. This book really gave me a perspective and how to go about my healing journey. It really did help me understand myself better. I'm thankful to the author for writing this book. I recommend everyone to read this book at least once in their lifetime.

[Aria Harlow · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting and informative read that would be a great read for anyone interested in trauma or that has been through a childhood trauma and wnats to heal from it.. The language wasn't complicated and it didn't read too much like a textbook which again would be very helpful and accessible to everyone. A great book.

[Renata · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is insigtful read about childhood emotional neglect and trauma with advices and practical exercises.
I enjoyed reading hacks for happiness.
I believe, everyone will find something at least to think about or to apply.

🙏#netgalley #SimonChapple #HowtoHealYourInnerChild

[Darryl Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was an amazing book. It was long but it was very helpful in so many aspects. Definitely a book you would want to return to. One of the most interesting and relatable books I've read in a long time. Well worth it.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a difficult read especially if you are not ready to accept trauma you experienced in childhood. However it was quite insightful and will definitely put you on the right track to healing.

[Courtney Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overview
Simon Chapple’s How to Heal Your Inner Child is a powerful and transformative guide to self-discovery and emotional healing. Drawing from his own experiences and extensive research on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and trauma, Chapple provides readers with a compassionate, practical, and accessible approach to reconnecting with their wounded inner child.
The book offers a blend of personal insights, therapeutic exercises, and actionable steps to help readers understand how childhood wounds shape adult behaviors, relationships, and emotional well-being. Whether you're struggling with unresolved trauma, self-doubt, or a lingering sense of emptiness, this book serves as both a gentle guide and a call to action for inner healing.

Why How to Heal Your Inner Child is a Must-Read
🌱 A Compassionate Approach to Healing
Chapple writes with warmth and understanding, making this book feel like a safe space for readers to explore their past experiences. He doesn’t rush the healing process but instead encourages readers to move at their own pace. The book is structured in a way that allows you to take small steps toward healing, making it both approachable and deeply impactful.
The list of reflective questions early in the book is particularly powerful, helping readers recognize patterns of emotional neglect they may not have realized existed.
Chapple’s personal experiences add depth to his insights, making the book feel authentic and relatable.

🌱 Insightful Exploration of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
Many people don’t realize that childhood emotional neglect can be just as damaging as more overt forms of trauma. Chapple explains:
How growing up in an emotionally distant or invalidating environment can shape self-worth, emotional regulation, and interpersonal relationships.
The ways in which childhood coping mechanisms—such as people-pleasing, emotional suppression, or perfectionism—can carry into adulthood and cause struggles with confidence, self-expression, and setting boundaries.
Why understanding the root causes of emotional pain is essential for long-term healing.
This book is an awakening for many, offering validation for emotions that may have been dismissed or ignored for years.

🌱 Practical Exercises for Self-Healing
Unlike books that focus solely on theory, How to Heal Your Inner Child provides hands-on exercises designed to help readers actively engage in their healing journey. These exercises include:
✅ Happiness hacks – Simple strategies to cultivate joy, gratitude, and emotional resilience.
✅ Inner child meditation & visualization techniques – Connecting with and comforting the wounded inner child.
✅ Journaling prompts – Encouraging self-reflection and emotional processing.
✅ Affirmations and mindset shifts – Helping readers rewire negative self-beliefs rooted in childhood experiences.
Each exercise is designed to be gentle but effective, helping readers regain a sense of emotional balance and self-compassion.

🌱 A Holistic Approach to Trauma Recovery
Chapple acknowledges that emotional healing is not just about working through memories—it’s also about taking care of your body and overall well-being. The book explores:
Emotional shifting techniques – Releasing stored trauma through mindfulness and self-awareness.
Homeopathy and holistic healing – Using natural remedies to support emotional and physical well-being.
The mind-body connection – Understanding how childhood trauma contributes to chronic stress, inflammation, and even physical health conditions.
By integrating these holistic strategies, Chapple presents a well-rounded approach to healing, emphasizing that emotional health and physical health are deeply interconnected.

Final Thoughts
How to Heal Your Inner Child is more than just a book—it’s a healing companion for anyone looking to break free from the lingering effects of childhood trauma. Chapple’s compassionate and insightful approach makes difficult topics feel accessible, and the practical exercises provide real tools for transformation.
For those who have ever felt unseen, unheard, or unworthy, this book is a reminder that healing is possible and that you deserve peace, love, and self-acceptance.

⭐ Rating: 5/5

📖 Recommended for:
✔️ Anyone struggling with emotional wounds from childhood
✔️ Those looking for practical tools to improve self-worth and emotional resilience
✔️ Readers interested in holistic approaches to healing (mind, body, and spirit)
✔️ Anyone who feels stuck in negative patterns and wants to break free
This book isn’t just about healing—it’s about reclaiming your joy, finding self-compassion, and stepping into the fullest version of yourself. Highly recommended for anyone ready to embark on a journey of deep emotional healing. 💙✨

[julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book for an honest review. I describe this book as a warm comforting blanket enveloping the reader as they recall often painful and triggering memories of childhood. The list of questions early on in the book resonated deeply with me and pulled me in deeper to explore. This book was an awakening for me - I had never realised that the experiences I had from a distant and unloving childhood had a name, and could impinge on all areas of my life. In fact, my own experiences were very similar to the author, who was very honest about his own childhood experiences.
The book then proceeds to give practical advice and tips to those suffering from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and advises where to go for further help if required. I read this book very quickly but will go back and work through all the exercises that the author advises in order to get the most out of it. Highly recommended and will continue to explore this subject.

[Abdullah Al]

Emotional shifting, homeopathy as well to release trauma from the past, and we'll talk about how homeopathy can release trauma, also remove emotional blocks as well as, of course, support the body systems by detoxifying well by healing the liver, reducing inflammation by healing the gut. Of course, leaky gut and liver toxicity are huge contributors to chronic inflammation which leads to degeneration in the body, oxidative damage to those myelin sheaths, those nerves in the central nervous system contributing to MS possibly. So really healing the body from a very root cause perspective and then healing the emotions and the traumas that were causing stress on the body leading to furthering of oxidative damage. Learn More Please Visit https://youtu.be/jVYRQmCw67M

[Zf · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid introductory summary of psychology techniques to assist in the healing journey for people navigating Childhood Early Neglect and Complex PTSD. The book feels casual and inviting, like talking to a friend or mentor who gives vulnerable and radically honest examples of their own life to guide you in yours and help you feel less alone. For those already in therapy and looking for a deeper dive into these issues, most of the book is too broad and not enlightening. Still, even for a seasoned self-help pro, there are a few journal exorcises to add to the tool box and the bullet points make it easy to find those gems or come back to them later.

[Stephen the Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simon Chapple has written a fascinating and thought provoking book about our inner childhood neglect and trauma that has ultimately impacted upon our adult selves. Through recognition of his own family background and relationships with his parents Simon explores how we can identify the causes and possible reasons for childhood neglect and begin to heal ourselves. Through tasks and various scenarios there is an exploration of the impacts upon adults and how we can take steps to improve our lives and for those close to us. Practical and plain talking this is an accessible self help book whilst acknowledging the need for professional support if needed. Worth exploring

[Mari · Rating 5 out of 5]

See on teema, mille peaks elus läbi töötama igaüks, et luua hea suhe enda ja teistega ning anda seda tarkust edasi lastele ja neis mitte traumasid tekitada. Üldse tundub, et sõnal trauma on liiga suur mõju. Tegelikult on siin raamatus ka juttu nii surtest kui väikestest. Väike on siis emotsionaalsest intelligentsusest tulnud puudujääk, kus keegi kellelegi ütleb, nt sa oled paks või ära tönni nagu plika või ei pööranud emotsioonidele üldse tähelepanu ja oli ära. Kui see keegi on laps ja ta pole väljaarenenud isiksus, siis see sisemine laps jääbki sees piinlema. Raamat pühineb autori enda kogemusel, aga on kaasanud testide tegemisse ka eksperte. Soovitan, kui oled valmis oma pimedamatesse nurkadesse vaatama. Pssst! See ei ole üldse nii hirmus ja pärast aina mõnusamaks läheb.

[Josolyn Weir · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

A decent read overall one I slowly puttered through. This is definitely one of those books where you take what resonates and leave behind what doesn’t. As someone who is already well-versed in mental health and therapeutic concepts, I didn’t find much new information here.

However, I can see it being quite beneficial for someone just beginning to explore trauma, inner child work, and emotional healing. It offers approachable insights and a gentle introduction to reflective practices. For readers newer to the topic, this could be a valuable starting point for those more experienced, it may feel more like a refresher than a revelation.

[Sienna Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to netgalley for letting me read this book!
First impressions of the book was that I really liked the cover and the title. I thought it stood out and made me interested in it.

The book was very informative and covers many areas. It was both easy to understand and learned a lot from it.

I think it's a great book or those with past trauma or childhood enotional neglect, and also for those who want to look more into it.
I personally haven't been through this but it has made me open my eyes and it allows me to look for certain signs of it for the future.

[B L Lewis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started off strong with so much helpful information. The information was so helpful that I walked around and shared it with people. Fast forward to today, I can honestly say it lost steam about 1/4th of the way in, and I didn't feel I learned anything new. I also felt like Chapple dragged it out too long. This could have been a very impactful 100 -150 page book; instead, it was a long, drawn-out 410-page book of commonly known ideas and resources. I had high hopes for this book, but I really didn't like it.

[Dr. B · Rating 3 out of 5]

My top5 thoughts:

1. This book has some interesting information peppered all over it, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
2. I also appreciated the practical advice and the real life examples.
3. The author was intentionally repeating himself to make sure his points get across; I personally don’t think this was necessary.
4. Although this was a thought-provoking read, if you’re not new to the self-help world, this book will barely add anything new to your knowledge but it will still push you to stop and think!
5. Will definitely recommend.

[Bep · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to say this was a disappointing read for me. The content is not ground breaking and I didn't learn anything I didn't already know - this will attract an audience with a level of knowledge I suspect but this is really for people at the beginning of self development journeys. Also noticed some on some pages, instead of the actual book title, it says "how to give up alcohol in 50 days". All round ingenious and a tad lazy in my view

[Karim Ossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

رحلة التعافي من آثار الطفولة سواء إهمال عاطفي او إساءة قد تبدو طويلة وتمتد لسنوات، لكن سايمون استطاع اختصار المحاولات والاجتهادات التي نعمل عليها في هذا الكتاب بعرض مناسب وطريقة سهلة التنفيذ
ارشح الكتاب بشدة للتعامل مع الأثر الذي خلفته الطفولة ولكن ليس لهذا فقط، سيمتعكم الكتاب بافكار لاكمال الرحلة والوصول للتعافي

[Sofija · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although repetitive and a bit too anecdotal at times, this book provides great insight for beginners that might not know where to start in self-therapy for CEN. Very methodical and has good opportunities for “homework” the reader can do.

[Amber Middlebrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took many notes, and there is a wealth of valuable material here to begin addressing trauma stemming from childhood emotional and physical neglect. It is important to remember that what remains subconscious can significantly influence our lives, often being perceived as fate.