Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma: Skills to Regulate Emotions, Identify Triggers, and Thrive Together in Your Relationship

by Aimee Daramus PsyD

A compassionate guide to achieving mutual trust, safety, and togetherness. Trauma can negatively influence all aspects of a relationship—from emotional and physical intimacy to financial and physical health. These difficulties can manifest in a number of symptoms, including fear of rejection or abandonment, unhealthy boundaries, or an inability to accept love. Being in a relationship with a fellow trauma survivor multiplies these challenges, making it even harder to articulate and fulfill one another’s needs. What you both need is a safe space to heal and build a thriving relationship—together. In this powerful guide, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert synthesizes proven-effective therapies to bring immediate, trauma-informed relief to couples who share the collective weight of suffering. Working together, you’ll develop emotion regulation skills for cultivating a relationship built on mutual safety, trust, and togetherness. As you acknowledge your commonality, you’ll become more comfortable and compassionate toward each other. You’ll also pick up skills to protect you both against common perils like anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and sexual dysfunction. Learn essential skills to heal as a Set healthy boundaries De-escalate when things get heated Feel less stigmatized Heal generational trauma
  By understanding one another’s struggles, you and your partner will gain a new perspective on your relationship, enabling you both to truly connect and begin the healing process. If you’re ready to transcend your trauma and cultivate the relationship you desire, pick up this book and start your journey together.

Genres: Self Help

223 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 1, 2025

Reviews

[Jennifer Kanke · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I have been together since 1994 and I wish we would have had this book back then, so many things would have gone so much smoother. Not smooth, but at least smoother.

[Analie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book does contain some great tips for couples, like creating a "stepdown playlist" and helping a partner gradually challenge their fears. Unfortunately it became more and more generic, until it sounded like it was written by AI. There were also multiple encouragements to rely on gaming as a coping skill and a brief shout out for BDSM, which was a turn off. Recommend the first 60 pages.

[bookreader_nix · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to New Harbinger Publication for providing a complimentary copy of this title in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Do you have unhealed trauma? Are you married or in a relationship? Does your partner have trauma? Generational trauma is a thing, too, but have you been impacted or healed from it? This book provides ways in which you can improve the relationships you have with family, friends, romantic partners, employers, employees, etc. by understanding that everyone has some sort of trauma they are carrying around with them. Sometimes it's easy to forget that everyone has some sort of baggage and have an emotionally triggering response during a fight or an argument, etc. The author also encourages working on your own trauma and safeguarding your own mental health while understanding the other person's trauma is impacting them.

This book is for everyone. The title sounds like it's for couples, but this book goes in depth on non-romantic relationships as well. I know this has personally changed the way I look at my partner's trauma response and how to effectively interact with them while they're triggered.