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Girls Play Dead: Acts of Self-Preservation
National Magazine Award winner and author of the New York Times Notable Demon Camp, Jen Percy returns with a devastating exploration of womanhood and survival in this groundbreaking work of narrative nonfiction.
What does it mean to endure as a woman? Percy, who has written extensively on trauma responses and PTSD, revisits these subjects using her personal experience, including sexual assault, to examine a broader social and cultural history of trauma. Beginning with her childhood in rural Oregon, Percy dissects the moments that shaped her girlhood. She learns from her mother, who teaches her wilderness survival strategies (and who eventually joins a cult), and she interrogates the biological basis for “freezing,” or tonic immobility, that is instinctual for humans in moments of physical danger. Percy’s writing chronicles women venturing into fantasies, cults, and hypnosis in order to cope with suffering and abuse.
This is a book about women forced to play dead, and others fighting for their lives. It follows women in bunkers preparing for the apocalypse when the apocalypse might be embodied by the person darkening their door and women imprisoned for killing their attackers, all in an effort to better understand how people get stuck in inescapable circumstances—of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and vigilantism. Percy depicts the thrilling grit it takes to escape such evil and overcome moments of paralysis when women are so often conditioned by the myth of “fight or flight.”
In electrifying prose, reminiscent of Joan Didion and Robert Kolker, Percy combines personal and cultural history, psychology, and reportage to deliver an astonishing examination of the malignant forces women face in the everyday, and the depths forged by the American character to confront them.
What does it mean to endure as a woman? Percy, who has written extensively on trauma responses and PTSD, revisits these subjects using her personal experience, including sexual assault, to examine a broader social and cultural history of trauma. Beginning with her childhood in rural Oregon, Percy dissects the moments that shaped her girlhood. She learns from her mother, who teaches her wilderness survival strategies (and who eventually joins a cult), and she interrogates the biological basis for “freezing,” or tonic immobility, that is instinctual for humans in moments of physical danger. Percy’s writing chronicles women venturing into fantasies, cults, and hypnosis in order to cope with suffering and abuse.
This is a book about women forced to play dead, and others fighting for their lives. It follows women in bunkers preparing for the apocalypse when the apocalypse might be embodied by the person darkening their door and women imprisoned for killing their attackers, all in an effort to better understand how people get stuck in inescapable circumstances—of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and vigilantism. Percy depicts the thrilling grit it takes to escape such evil and overcome moments of paralysis when women are so often conditioned by the myth of “fight or flight.”
In electrifying prose, reminiscent of Joan Didion and Robert Kolker, Percy combines personal and cultural history, psychology, and reportage to deliver an astonishing examination of the malignant forces women face in the everyday, and the depths forged by the American character to confront them.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 172 reviews
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December 25, 2025I find this hard to rate - it feels very personal and assigning it a star value does quote feel right. The writing was good and I liked the non-linear structure, I felt like it worked very well for the blend of memoir and non-fiction. The author jumps around and intersperses her own memories with others' memories and academic research. It feels like my favourite kind of memoir (not really a memoir but a reflection of the world around you and interpreting your own experiences as a part of the greater whole).
I highly recommend this, but with the warning that this is a tough book that is best enjoyed slowly. It made me think a lot about my own experiences.
Some of my favourite quotes:
"And I found comfort in this idea of self-betrayal - it felt so true for many of my experiences, but hardly discussed. Sometimes we don't understand our own boundaries, much less articulate them. There can be a part of ourselves that is agential but also deeply lost and uncertain about what is normal."
This quote hurt^^
"There were times that I felt uncomfortable, or I didn't want to do what was being asked of me next. But I did. I went along with it, or I didn't say no, or I didn't leave, or I didn't want to be rude, or I thought I was overreacting, or l didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or I felt frozen and like I was no longer a part of the world. Times when I didn't make a fuss or whatever."
"Moths grew wings with patterns like the faces of snakes or owls. Rabbits grew fur that changed with the seasons. Lizards could amputate their tails to get away. I learned there were costs to self-preservation, that keeping ourselves safe meant we had to give something up. I learned the horned lizard spurted blood from its eyes to scare predators. It made itself monstrous to stay alive. It gave up beauty."
"Shame is when you stare at your past self, and she stares right back at you."
I highly recommend this, but with the warning that this is a tough book that is best enjoyed slowly. It made me think a lot about my own experiences.
Some of my favourite quotes:
"And I found comfort in this idea of self-betrayal - it felt so true for many of my experiences, but hardly discussed. Sometimes we don't understand our own boundaries, much less articulate them. There can be a part of ourselves that is agential but also deeply lost and uncertain about what is normal."
This quote hurt^^
"There were times that I felt uncomfortable, or I didn't want to do what was being asked of me next. But I did. I went along with it, or I didn't say no, or I didn't leave, or I didn't want to be rude, or I thought I was overreacting, or l didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or I felt frozen and like I was no longer a part of the world. Times when I didn't make a fuss or whatever."
"Moths grew wings with patterns like the faces of snakes or owls. Rabbits grew fur that changed with the seasons. Lizards could amputate their tails to get away. I learned there were costs to self-preservation, that keeping ourselves safe meant we had to give something up. I learned the horned lizard spurted blood from its eyes to scare predators. It made itself monstrous to stay alive. It gave up beauty."
"Shame is when you stare at your past self, and she stares right back at you."
June 14, 2026
This book explores the “freeze” response—the reason so many women find themselves unable to fight back in cases of sexual assault. It builds on that theme and looks at this response in other contexts, but what I found most fascinating was when the author spoke to experts about what’s happening in the body when this response happens. I wasn’t aware of the biological mechanisms that were at work in these cases before reading this. I was both intrigued and frustrated to hear about the difficulties of explaining this response in court. There was some Jungian psychology in this book that I didn’t totally vibe with, but overall, I found this to be a fascinating examination of misogyny and trauma, and I would definitely recommend it.
November 17, 2025
“There were times that I felt uncomfortable, or I didn’t want to do what was being asked of me next. But I did. I went along with it, or I didn’t say no, or I didn’t leave, or I didn’t want to be rude, or I thought I was overreacting, or I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or I felt frozen and like I was no longer a part of the world. Times when I didn’t make a fuss or whatever. … I also didn’t want this to be something I didn’t want. Rape, I mean.”
Thank you, with all my heart, to Doubleday Books for sending me a copy of this incredible book.
This book. It was the vast amount of important information, the stories of victims themselves, and the vulnerability and gorgeous writing of the author, Jen Percy, that helped heal something within myself. It inspired this need to bolster those stories through my own platform, however small. And as I’ve said, this ever-present message of “it is not our fault”, felt crucial to the narrative, both personal and public.
I learned so many things from this book about the phenomena that happen in the wake of assault and trauma that I, even 41 years old and deep into healing, hadn’t really had illuminated. I was still frustrated with myself for handling things a certain way… but there is science to say “even that isn’t your fault”. It was comforting. But aside from how the book relates to me it is full of examples outside my experience. It focuses on incarcerated Black women who fought back against their attackers, and how Black women experience even greater depths of judgement and blame when they report or suffer from assault, no matter how they react. It doesn’t shy away from the other racial issues like the white woman accusing the Black man of assault, and how that dynamic hurts individuals and communities. It’s striping away the idea that one must be a perfect victim, of any kind, and showcasing the need for new procedures and accommodations in helping victims recover and seek justice. As the title suggests, it is in understanding the “acts of self-preservation” taken on by victims (voluntarily or involuntarily) that need room to be known and considered.
Highly recommend this one. It’s difficult but very intelligent and moving.
Thank you, with all my heart, to Doubleday Books for sending me a copy of this incredible book.
This book. It was the vast amount of important information, the stories of victims themselves, and the vulnerability and gorgeous writing of the author, Jen Percy, that helped heal something within myself. It inspired this need to bolster those stories through my own platform, however small. And as I’ve said, this ever-present message of “it is not our fault”, felt crucial to the narrative, both personal and public.
I learned so many things from this book about the phenomena that happen in the wake of assault and trauma that I, even 41 years old and deep into healing, hadn’t really had illuminated. I was still frustrated with myself for handling things a certain way… but there is science to say “even that isn’t your fault”. It was comforting. But aside from how the book relates to me it is full of examples outside my experience. It focuses on incarcerated Black women who fought back against their attackers, and how Black women experience even greater depths of judgement and blame when they report or suffer from assault, no matter how they react. It doesn’t shy away from the other racial issues like the white woman accusing the Black man of assault, and how that dynamic hurts individuals and communities. It’s striping away the idea that one must be a perfect victim, of any kind, and showcasing the need for new procedures and accommodations in helping victims recover and seek justice. As the title suggests, it is in understanding the “acts of self-preservation” taken on by victims (voluntarily or involuntarily) that need room to be known and considered.
Highly recommend this one. It’s difficult but very intelligent and moving.
November 24, 2025
Girls Play Dead is packed with horrific stories from women who have been assaulted or abused on a scale of just one time to their whole entire lives. Each one unique, yet all completely awful. And the worst part is, these instances are not one-and-done, but the aftermath can last a lifetime.
Jen Pearcy begins the book by talking about her mother teaching her to survive in the wilderness, specifically how to avoid a bear attack by playing dead. This symbolism for the way many women survive attacks by human men is so powerful, because when it comes down to it assault can be just as vulgar and devastating as an attack by a whole bear. She goes on to share her own stories of sexual harrassment and assult as well as similar stories by other women, and how each woman dealt with their situation differently.
Many women experienced tonic immobility, an involuntary state of paralysis and unresponsiveness, a response often seen in animals being attacked. Even if their bodies don't go so far as to literally freeze, it's not uncommon for women to simply submit even after explicity saying 'no' because in some ways it feels as if a lack of fight will be safer in the end. Or that if you don't put up a fight, you won't have to face the harsh realities of the assault being a technical rape. No matter how a person defaults in an abusive situation, the fact of the matter is that the harm never should have been done in the first place.
Books like these are hard to stomach because unfortunately sexual assault and harrassment happen so often in our world and to the majoirty of women at some point in their lives. And as I said before, these things don't just go away once the trauma is over. All of the women in this book were still dealing with it months and years later, even their entire lives. Jen interviewed women with instense anxiety, some even to the point of agoraphobia who couldn't leave their home. Some of them an a twisted attempt to take their power back and take matters into their own hands just started sleeping with anyone and everyone, using it as a form of self harm, even. One woman with siezures believed she was epileptic, and when she went to the doctor's office they couldn't find anything wrong with her. It was triggers of her trauma giving her actual medical seizures. And in other cases, some women struggle to have sex ever again even under normal circumstances.
Either way, so many women in our world are struggling with complex trauma and the common denominator is what? Men who have no sense of self control, who take what they want, and don't know the word 'no.' Men who you may never suspect, either.
The moral of the story is this: We have to start raising young men to know what kindness and self control and respect are in order to heal the world in the area of sexual violence!
TW: child neglect, psychological abuse, cult, sexual harassment and assault, agoraphobia
Jen Pearcy begins the book by talking about her mother teaching her to survive in the wilderness, specifically how to avoid a bear attack by playing dead. This symbolism for the way many women survive attacks by human men is so powerful, because when it comes down to it assault can be just as vulgar and devastating as an attack by a whole bear. She goes on to share her own stories of sexual harrassment and assult as well as similar stories by other women, and how each woman dealt with their situation differently.
Many women experienced tonic immobility, an involuntary state of paralysis and unresponsiveness, a response often seen in animals being attacked. Even if their bodies don't go so far as to literally freeze, it's not uncommon for women to simply submit even after explicity saying 'no' because in some ways it feels as if a lack of fight will be safer in the end. Or that if you don't put up a fight, you won't have to face the harsh realities of the assault being a technical rape. No matter how a person defaults in an abusive situation, the fact of the matter is that the harm never should have been done in the first place.
Books like these are hard to stomach because unfortunately sexual assault and harrassment happen so often in our world and to the majoirty of women at some point in their lives. And as I said before, these things don't just go away once the trauma is over. All of the women in this book were still dealing with it months and years later, even their entire lives. Jen interviewed women with instense anxiety, some even to the point of agoraphobia who couldn't leave their home. Some of them an a twisted attempt to take their power back and take matters into their own hands just started sleeping with anyone and everyone, using it as a form of self harm, even. One woman with siezures believed she was epileptic, and when she went to the doctor's office they couldn't find anything wrong with her. It was triggers of her trauma giving her actual medical seizures. And in other cases, some women struggle to have sex ever again even under normal circumstances.
Either way, so many women in our world are struggling with complex trauma and the common denominator is what? Men who have no sense of self control, who take what they want, and don't know the word 'no.' Men who you may never suspect, either.
The moral of the story is this: We have to start raising young men to know what kindness and self control and respect are in order to heal the world in the area of sexual violence!
TW: child neglect, psychological abuse, cult, sexual harassment and assault, agoraphobia
March 17, 2026
really difficult to read at times but ultimately fascinating and eye opening. women are super humans. on top of all the rage i feel is a peculiar sense of hope
January 6, 2026
Everyone should read this book
January 31, 2026
Incredibly difficult and incredibly important read.
Part memoir, part research--pulling from history, mythology, wildlife biology, neurology, and other modalities to explore how our bodies & brains respond to trauma.
It will break your heart; it looks at the complex ways our systems strategize to survive, to cope, to forget. This book particularly examines stories of sexual assault, the freeze response, and tonic immobility.
Along with "Know My Name," this is essential reading for men and women alike.
Part memoir, part research--pulling from history, mythology, wildlife biology, neurology, and other modalities to explore how our bodies & brains respond to trauma.
It will break your heart; it looks at the complex ways our systems strategize to survive, to cope, to forget. This book particularly examines stories of sexual assault, the freeze response, and tonic immobility.
Along with "Know My Name," this is essential reading for men and women alike.
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February 1, 2026En raison du sujet abordé, il me semble presque inapproprié d’attribuer une note à ce livre.
C’est un récit profondément éprouvant.
Si vous êtes une femme, ou toute autre personne, ayant vécu un traumatisme, je vous recommande de l’aborder avec beaucoup de prudence et de faire preuve d’une grande bienveillance envers vous-même au fil de la lecture.
Les témoignages sont difficiles à recevoir, parfois même douloureux, mais leur mise en mots reste essentielle. Il est important qu’ils existent, qu’ils soient entendus et qu’on puisse en parler.
C’est un récit profondément éprouvant.
Si vous êtes une femme, ou toute autre personne, ayant vécu un traumatisme, je vous recommande de l’aborder avec beaucoup de prudence et de faire preuve d’une grande bienveillance envers vous-même au fil de la lecture.
Les témoignages sont difficiles à recevoir, parfois même douloureux, mais leur mise en mots reste essentielle. Il est important qu’ils existent, qu’ils soient entendus et qu’on puisse en parler.
Read
June 6, 2026Absolutely devastating. Impossible to not feel a new urgency - a desperation - to hide my daughter from the horrors of this world.
December 23, 2025
This book is a beautiful display of the complexity that is surviving a sexual trauma and living with the aftermath. Jen Percy stitches many stories together to fit into the overarching narrative that no victim and no story fits in the perfect box previously built by a patriarchal society. The stories told here are cutting, gritty, emotional, and accurate descriptions of what can happen to women who are trying to live with the results of a personally invasive event(s). The stories were interwoven with facts based in scientific research, making it feel infinitely more real. I’m grateful to have picked this book up, and grateful to Jen Percy to putting out a work that speaks to the more “unconventional” stories of sexual assault, harassment, and abuse.
April 11, 2026
This book certainly won’t be for everyone, but it should be.
April 19, 2026
Really good & also very difficult to read.. talented writer & storyteller but obv the subject matter was tough
January 6, 2026
I found this book fascinating, incredibly valuable, and deeply disturbing. Any book that dives into the topic of rape and sexual assault the way this book does is bound to be unpleasant, but I think it’s worth pushing through this particular book because the information that it shares is so vitally important. As a victim of rape myself, I always had a lot of questions and felt a lot of confusion when I look back at that period of time—why did I react the way I did during the rape? Why did my body feel the effects long after they should have stopped? Why didn’t I report it? Why do I still live with a bit of lingering fear and general distrust of men, 10 years later? This book helped me look at my own rape through a different lense and I felt stronger and less alone knowing that everything I did that I felt was “weird” or outright “wrong” were either natural body reactions, or just me trying to survive the unthinkable.
I think this book could be really valuable to everyone, regardless of what trauma you do (or do not) carry, and I wish men would read this book to gain more compassion towards women and their struggles. I’d recommend this book, though, to anyone who wants to better their understanding on how rape and sexual abuse impact women, from the moment the rape starts (and sometimes even before) and forward into the rest of their lives. As long as you can handle the trauma written about within, please make this book one of your next reads.
I think this book could be really valuable to everyone, regardless of what trauma you do (or do not) carry, and I wish men would read this book to gain more compassion towards women and their struggles. I’d recommend this book, though, to anyone who wants to better their understanding on how rape and sexual abuse impact women, from the moment the rape starts (and sometimes even before) and forward into the rest of their lives. As long as you can handle the trauma written about within, please make this book one of your next reads.
May 21, 2026
Overall Rating: 4.5/5⭐️ (with the understanding this book made my cry and crushed my soul)
I never know how to rate books like these. Beautifully written, devastating, and the kind of book that opens conversations we desperately need to be having. Be aware of the trigger warnings before reading. Though I cried through most of this book, it was incredibly validating and necessary. Percy captures the many ways people learn to survive: dissociation, fawning, self-erasure, silence, and how those patterns can quietly shape entire lives.
I never know how to rate books like these. Beautifully written, devastating, and the kind of book that opens conversations we desperately need to be having. Be aware of the trigger warnings before reading. Though I cried through most of this book, it was incredibly validating and necessary. Percy captures the many ways people learn to survive: dissociation, fawning, self-erasure, silence, and how those patterns can quietly shape entire lives.
May 8, 2026
4/29/2026
89 pages in & already convinced this is a 5 star. i feel pretty sure that this book will be important to me so i scrapped all my plans for the day to read it, probably to the detriment of my final history essay that is due this weekend. will update when finished
5/7/2026
phenomenal read. i really love the style of writing that blends investigative journalism with memoir or op-ed type writing, and percy is clearly a beautiful creative writer, even in this work of nonfiction. i like that she was willing to consider topics that are usually taboo, and to allow some stories to remain complicated and unsatisfying. sometimes there is no good answer, even if there is a right or better answer, and this book did an excellent job of addressing grey areas, as well as complex emotional & psychological responses to trauma that often make survivors feel ashamed or confused. it is a book about rape survivors, primarily, but she really worries about surviving as a lifelong matter; not just making it out the other end of an awful attack alive, but being able to make a life you love and be a person you are proud of days, months, years down the line. made me think hard, great read.
89 pages in & already convinced this is a 5 star. i feel pretty sure that this book will be important to me so i scrapped all my plans for the day to read it, probably to the detriment of my final history essay that is due this weekend. will update when finished
5/7/2026
phenomenal read. i really love the style of writing that blends investigative journalism with memoir or op-ed type writing, and percy is clearly a beautiful creative writer, even in this work of nonfiction. i like that she was willing to consider topics that are usually taboo, and to allow some stories to remain complicated and unsatisfying. sometimes there is no good answer, even if there is a right or better answer, and this book did an excellent job of addressing grey areas, as well as complex emotional & psychological responses to trauma that often make survivors feel ashamed or confused. it is a book about rape survivors, primarily, but she really worries about surviving as a lifelong matter; not just making it out the other end of an awful attack alive, but being able to make a life you love and be a person you are proud of days, months, years down the line. made me think hard, great read.
December 26, 2025
A horrifying, debilitating read. Is neither a bad book nor a great one, but tremendously painful in the way it gives voice to women’s sexual victimization. I don’t know that I’m better for having read this.
December 31, 2025
This is very hard to read, but important. As someone who has experienced sexual assault, you might better understand how and why you responded the way that you did—but societally, everyone should read to become better informed before they try to make any judgements about the validity of a victim’s story and trauma. There is a kind of punishment for freezing and taking it, and carceral punishment for women who fight back—how does anyone but the perpetrators of sexual violence win?
February 4, 2026
Nothing I write will do justice to my feelings or the impact GIRLS PLAY DEAD had on me.
This book should be mandatory reading in all high schools.
Every police officer should read this book, especially those who investigate sex crimes and deal with trauma victims.
Jen Percy discusses issues such as “tonic immobility,” the “freeze” aspect of the fight/flight/freeze response. Freezing is not compliance. Yet assault victims are often brushed aside and not believed because they didn’t fight or run.
We get a clear look at the sometimes subtle, sometimes egregious role gender conditioning plays in every woman’s life.
And we meet women who have been failed every step of the way by our social and justice system.
This is not an easy read, but it is absolutely an important one.
*Thanks to Doubleday Books (#DoubledayPartner) for the free copy!*
This book should be mandatory reading in all high schools.
Every police officer should read this book, especially those who investigate sex crimes and deal with trauma victims.
Jen Percy discusses issues such as “tonic immobility,” the “freeze” aspect of the fight/flight/freeze response. Freezing is not compliance. Yet assault victims are often brushed aside and not believed because they didn’t fight or run.
We get a clear look at the sometimes subtle, sometimes egregious role gender conditioning plays in every woman’s life.
And we meet women who have been failed every step of the way by our social and justice system.
This is not an easy read, but it is absolutely an important one.
*Thanks to Doubleday Books (#DoubledayPartner) for the free copy!*
February 15, 2026
I honestly think everyone needs to read this book. It is so informative and really takes you on a deep dive exploring the bodies reaction to trauma. Whether it is a physical response like Tonic Immobilization which seems to be one of bodies most primitive forms of dealing with trauma or the psychological loops our mind explores in order to make sense of our experiences, Jen Percy takes careful time exploring our bodies most complex and challenging emotional responses.
Trauma is not linear and our mind/bodies response to it is not always going to make perfect sense. There is not a set way that the body will respond so it is quite a shame that both our legal system and society as a whole box in the specific way you must respond in order to be taken seriously and treated with dignity.
Percy takes careful time exploring the many aspects of trauma responses using the lived experiences of the people she has interviewed. There are many different stories she writes about from people of all different backgrounds yet there is a common theme of fear and the feeling of hopelessness in the stories that is all to common and that I’m sure many readers can relate to. I hope this book helps people understand the complexity of trauma responses and validates the emotions of people who may not feel they are heard.
Definitely a very hard read as the topics explored are very complex and difficult to digest however they are so so important to understand.
Trauma is not linear and our mind/bodies response to it is not always going to make perfect sense. There is not a set way that the body will respond so it is quite a shame that both our legal system and society as a whole box in the specific way you must respond in order to be taken seriously and treated with dignity.
Percy takes careful time exploring the many aspects of trauma responses using the lived experiences of the people she has interviewed. There are many different stories she writes about from people of all different backgrounds yet there is a common theme of fear and the feeling of hopelessness in the stories that is all to common and that I’m sure many readers can relate to. I hope this book helps people understand the complexity of trauma responses and validates the emotions of people who may not feel they are heard.
Definitely a very hard read as the topics explored are very complex and difficult to digest however they are so so important to understand.
February 3, 2026
I am convinced that during the Stone Age I must have been wounded by the love of some man, because a certain secret fear of mine dates from that time.
Be that as it may, one warm night, I was sitting and chatting politely with a civilized gentleman who was wearing a dark suit and had very correct fingernails. I was, as the writer Sérgio Porto would say, feeling perfectly at ease, and eating some guava. Then the man says: "Shall we go for a little ride?" No. I'm going to tell the naked truth. What he said was: "Shall we go for a paseito?"
I didn't have time to find out the nature of that paseito, because I immediately heard, coming from thousands of centuries, the rumble of the first stone in an avalanche: my heart. Who was it? Who, in the Stone Age, took me out for a paseito from which I never returned, because I'm still there?
I don't know what hidden terror lies in the monstrous delicacy of that word paseito.
—Clarice Lispector, "In Favor of
Fear"
... he kissed my eyes, and, mimicking the new bride newly wakened, I flung my arms around him, for on my seeming acquiescence depended my salvation.
—Angela Carter, "The Bloody
Chamber"
everyone needs to read this.
Be that as it may, one warm night, I was sitting and chatting politely with a civilized gentleman who was wearing a dark suit and had very correct fingernails. I was, as the writer Sérgio Porto would say, feeling perfectly at ease, and eating some guava. Then the man says: "Shall we go for a little ride?" No. I'm going to tell the naked truth. What he said was: "Shall we go for a paseito?"
I didn't have time to find out the nature of that paseito, because I immediately heard, coming from thousands of centuries, the rumble of the first stone in an avalanche: my heart. Who was it? Who, in the Stone Age, took me out for a paseito from which I never returned, because I'm still there?
I don't know what hidden terror lies in the monstrous delicacy of that word paseito.
—Clarice Lispector, "In Favor of
Fear"
... he kissed my eyes, and, mimicking the new bride newly wakened, I flung my arms around him, for on my seeming acquiescence depended my salvation.
—Angela Carter, "The Bloody
Chamber"
everyone needs to read this.
February 11, 2026
This book is incredibly emotional and thought-provoking. Percy gives voice to experiences so many women go through but were never taught the words to explain them. Education around abuse is so important. If schools don’t educate our children on these subjects, then we as a society need to step up and make sure we’re educating our youth. More education means more tools for recognizing danger and hopefully improves the chances of finding a way out.
This book is heavy, but wow.. it’s given me words to define things I didn’t know were definable. We need to be talking about this more.
I’ll be recommending this book to everyone I know, men and women alike. Everyone has something to learn from this book, whether it’s defining personal experiences/trauma, recognizing it in your friends, family, partners, etc., understanding why people stay in harmful situations, or how society (more times than not) overlooks and minimizes these experiences.
I’m going to continue the ‘self help’ type books after this one. It’s provoked something in me, and I feel the need to learn more about our bodies and how they react to trauma.
This book is heavy, but wow.. it’s given me words to define things I didn’t know were definable. We need to be talking about this more.
I’ll be recommending this book to everyone I know, men and women alike. Everyone has something to learn from this book, whether it’s defining personal experiences/trauma, recognizing it in your friends, family, partners, etc., understanding why people stay in harmful situations, or how society (more times than not) overlooks and minimizes these experiences.
I’m going to continue the ‘self help’ type books after this one. It’s provoked something in me, and I feel the need to learn more about our bodies and how they react to trauma.
February 19, 2026
Percy has created a book that is foundational on the topic of SA survivors and what it means to live life as one; they’re destined to be misunderstood in the systems that we have meant for their own justice.
Although the conversations with survivors are wildly unsettling, Percy weaves their narratives in and out of metaphor, doctoral examination, and her own personal experiences to create a book that is genuinely life-changing for someone who knew too little before reading it.
Although the conversations with survivors are wildly unsettling, Percy weaves their narratives in and out of metaphor, doctoral examination, and her own personal experiences to create a book that is genuinely life-changing for someone who knew too little before reading it.
February 13, 2026
6 out of 5 stars.
A striking phenomenology of sexual assault. an incredibly difficult but important read, that should be a required reading for all healthcare providers and law enforcement.
A striking phenomenology of sexual assault. an incredibly difficult but important read, that should be a required reading for all healthcare providers and law enforcement.
February 21, 2026
This book rocked my world for a bit. It was triggering, yes, but I learned so much from reading this, and addressed my own bias and deepened my knowledge and came to understand more of other women’s pain and suffering. The chapter on seizures blew. Me. Away.
March 25, 2026
extremely relatable and validating 10/10
i will never read this again i cried so hard i past out for 16 hours
i will never read this again i cried so hard i past out for 16 hours
December 24, 2025
Thankfully, our law enforcement agencies and our courts are more aware of this phenomenon. It remains difficult for people to understand - why didn't you fight back? why didn't you scream? It seems counterintuitive to many that a valid survival tactic is to freeze during an attack. Percy looks at the history and the experts who helped to bring this to broader knowledge.
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May 7, 2026reading & listening to this book was a harrowing experience for me. it took me a long time to get through, mostly because i had to stop multiple times to catch my breath and make my way back to my body from, as percy describes it, down below.
November 18, 2025
Gut wrenching. Its hard to write reviews on things like this. I didn’t like the format? but the content was very interesting and well written. I didn’t necessarily need the authors memoir style that was randomly sprinkled throughout. I would have liked her story to be it’s own section but I also appreciate the difficulty of sharing these deeply personal experiences.
December 15, 2025
muy bien escrito, buen equilibrio entre historias y data, una prosa estupenda, duro.
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March 13, 2026edit: wait wait wait wait, are we all just ignoring the fact she reported a rape victim for perjury? after reading an entire book about how the "freeze" response is constantly used against women in court? that's actually insane of her. I had to remove my 5 Star rating because Percy's actions are so out of line there.
complicated relationship with this book.
it's like Chicken Soup for the Soul, but every story is scary and reminds you that sexual violence is deeply ingrained in every fiber of society, and every woman you know has been a victim of it.
I was expecting some feel-good science to justify my own "freeze" response during the assaults I have experienced. and WITHOUT A DOUBT, it does explain the regularity of this response and the social conditions and medical reasonings behind it.
but
This book is very, very dark.
Through no fault of the author, as it's not gratuitous in the least. The reality of living as a woman in 2026 is dystopian-ly terrifying. this book is nonfiction, and it terrified me. I was not prepared for this book, and I will need time to recover from it.
I would also recommend it to everyone I know.
complicated relationship with this book.
it's like Chicken Soup for the Soul, but every story is scary and reminds you that sexual violence is deeply ingrained in every fiber of society, and every woman you know has been a victim of it.
I was expecting some feel-good science to justify my own "freeze" response during the assaults I have experienced. and WITHOUT A DOUBT, it does explain the regularity of this response and the social conditions and medical reasonings behind it.
but
This book is very, very dark.
Through no fault of the author, as it's not gratuitous in the least. The reality of living as a woman in 2026 is dystopian-ly terrifying. this book is nonfiction, and it terrified me. I was not prepared for this book, and I will need time to recover from it.
I would also recommend it to everyone I know.
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