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Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things
'For so long we'd been on the same path together. But somehow, along the way, I turned around and Genevieve kept going.'
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Dreading the prospect of returning to her childhood home for the anniversary of her father’s death, she busies herself by seeking new friendships – book clubs, pub crawls, team sports, the works. But Charlie’s determination to surround herself with unfamiliar people forces her to confront her insecurities. What kind of life does she want? And who does she really want to spend it with?
For fans of Dolly Alderton and Zoë Foster Blake, Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is a bitingly witty yet moving take on the struggles of maintaining relationships and creating new ones as an adult – a story that ultimately celebrates the importance and complexities of best friends.
Praise for Jessica
'Fast-paced and funny'
'Jess Seaborn’s writing is a warm hug from the first page to the last'
'Compulsively readable, extremely interesting, and at times, laugh out loud funny'
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Dreading the prospect of returning to her childhood home for the anniversary of her father’s death, she busies herself by seeking new friendships – book clubs, pub crawls, team sports, the works. But Charlie’s determination to surround herself with unfamiliar people forces her to confront her insecurities. What kind of life does she want? And who does she really want to spend it with?
For fans of Dolly Alderton and Zoë Foster Blake, Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is a bitingly witty yet moving take on the struggles of maintaining relationships and creating new ones as an adult – a story that ultimately celebrates the importance and complexities of best friends.
Praise for Jessica
'Fast-paced and funny'
'Jess Seaborn’s writing is a warm hug from the first page to the last'
'Compulsively readable, extremely interesting, and at times, laugh out loud funny'
434 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 5, 2025
41 people are currently reading
908 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
September 17, 2025
Isn’t it Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn
★★★★★
Charlie’s life is a mess after her divorce leaves her friendless, so she dives headfirst into book clubs, pub crawls, and team sports to rebuild her social circle. Along the way, she’s forced to face her insecurities and figure out what – and who – she really wants in her life.
I was hooked on Charlie’s world from the start. Even with the drama that hits right out of the gate, I felt instantly connected to Charlie. It was if she was someone I already knew. She’s inviting, interesting, and so easy to spend time with on the page.
Jessica Seaborn nails that perfect balance of giving you enough insight into the characters while still keeping a little mystery. The short chapters and great pacing kept me turning pages without even realising how quickly I was flying through it.
This book really digs into friendship, parenthood, and just… being an adult. As kids, we think grown-ups have it all together (houses, careers, relationships) but in reality, it’s a juggling act that comes with a mountain of responsibilities.
I loved every second of this read, and it’s already sitting at the top of my favourites list for 2025.
💔📚🍷📻
Thanks to @netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.
Pour a hot drink, it’s book talk time.
Instagram
TikTok
★★★★★
Charlie’s life is a mess after her divorce leaves her friendless, so she dives headfirst into book clubs, pub crawls, and team sports to rebuild her social circle. Along the way, she’s forced to face her insecurities and figure out what – and who – she really wants in her life.
I was hooked on Charlie’s world from the start. Even with the drama that hits right out of the gate, I felt instantly connected to Charlie. It was if she was someone I already knew. She’s inviting, interesting, and so easy to spend time with on the page.
Jessica Seaborn nails that perfect balance of giving you enough insight into the characters while still keeping a little mystery. The short chapters and great pacing kept me turning pages without even realising how quickly I was flying through it.
This book really digs into friendship, parenthood, and just… being an adult. As kids, we think grown-ups have it all together (houses, careers, relationships) but in reality, it’s a juggling act that comes with a mountain of responsibilities.
I loved every second of this read, and it’s already sitting at the top of my favourites list for 2025.
💔📚🍷📻
Thanks to @netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.
Pour a hot drink, it’s book talk time.
TikTok
July 22, 2025
I really enjoyed this second novel by Jessica Seaborn, Isn't It Nice We Both Hate The Same Things - also, what a title! I think this one might not be what many people are expecting it to be. There's no romance - winning! - nor is it overly funny. Rather, it's just entirely real, and I loved it all the more for that.
"In the middle of the conversation, I realised that being an adult is just saying 'after this week things will slow down a bit' until we all die."
I would call this a crossroads story, in that it's character driven, and the main character driving it is at a crossroads. Six months after a marriage break-up, she's also finding the other parts of her life are being turned inside out: her career, her friendships, and her family relationships. All of which causes her to have a reckoning of sorts.
Reading this novel was a bit like hanging out with a good friend. I felt invested in Charlie's life for the duration, enjoyed her witty banter with her co-workers, was outraged on her behalf at the shoddy way she was dropped by her ex-husband's friends, and felt the deep sadness along with her over the widening rift with her sister and the acceptance of her best friend moving interstate.
I enjoyed the overall story arc and would recommend this one as the ultimate comfort read. It has all the feels and hits the right notes at the right time, all the way through.
4.5 stars. Thanks to @penguinbooksaus
for the copy.
"In the middle of the conversation, I realised that being an adult is just saying 'after this week things will slow down a bit' until we all die."
I would call this a crossroads story, in that it's character driven, and the main character driving it is at a crossroads. Six months after a marriage break-up, she's also finding the other parts of her life are being turned inside out: her career, her friendships, and her family relationships. All of which causes her to have a reckoning of sorts.
Reading this novel was a bit like hanging out with a good friend. I felt invested in Charlie's life for the duration, enjoyed her witty banter with her co-workers, was outraged on her behalf at the shoddy way she was dropped by her ex-husband's friends, and felt the deep sadness along with her over the widening rift with her sister and the acceptance of her best friend moving interstate.
I enjoyed the overall story arc and would recommend this one as the ultimate comfort read. It has all the feels and hits the right notes at the right time, all the way through.
4.5 stars. Thanks to @penguinbooksaus
for the copy.
September 14, 2025
2 1/2 rounded down. The lack of place really distracted me throughout this book. Especially when so much of the novel is about her leaving a small town to go to a city. I also didn’t like the main character - communicating with her was like pulling teeth, whether it was her ex husband, her friends or her family.
September 25, 2025
As someone who had to rebuild their friendship group twice in their 30s I thought I'd relate to a book about how hard it is to make adult friends. But the main character just came across as really immature and lacking any self awareness and I found her more annoying than relatable.
August 27, 2025
This was an easy read, but it was different to what I expected. I found it lacked a real sense of place, which made it harder to feel immersed. I also struggled with Charlie, who often came across as obnoxious and lacking self-awareness.
Entertaining overall, but not a standout for me.
Entertaining overall, but not a standout for me.
July 24, 2025
I absolutely loved Jessica’s debut novel ‘Perfect-ish’ and was very excited to read this, her second novel
In her early 30s, while Charlie is thriving in her radio producing career and very much in control, her private life is starting to crumble. Having recently left her husband Dave, the life they built together over ten years is very much over and while Dave is having a hard time coming to terms with it, so is the group of friends they once shared.. who have now shut her out
Charlie can’t really turn to her family as she has really distanced herself from her sister Naya and mum Penelope. Always finding excuses never to visit home
And while her best friend Genevieve is a constant support, her life is heading in a different direction to Charlie and this prompts Charlie to step outside her comfort zone and start a mid life quest for new friendships via activities like book clubs, karate, trying to find that connection she is missing
Jessica’s characters are so real and the story flows perfectly. I really connected with Charlie and her internal monologue. The banter between her and Genevieve is on point hilarious and her unlikely friendship with radio host, Graham provides fabulous conversations throughout. He is in her corner and is her one constant especially when she feels alone the most
A wonderfully written story about relationships, the struggles making them and keeping them as an adult. It is heartwarming, honest, real and very poignant. Bringing all the feels it is a must read
Thank you so much Penguin books for my ARC Copy to review
In her early 30s, while Charlie is thriving in her radio producing career and very much in control, her private life is starting to crumble. Having recently left her husband Dave, the life they built together over ten years is very much over and while Dave is having a hard time coming to terms with it, so is the group of friends they once shared.. who have now shut her out
Charlie can’t really turn to her family as she has really distanced herself from her sister Naya and mum Penelope. Always finding excuses never to visit home
And while her best friend Genevieve is a constant support, her life is heading in a different direction to Charlie and this prompts Charlie to step outside her comfort zone and start a mid life quest for new friendships via activities like book clubs, karate, trying to find that connection she is missing
Jessica’s characters are so real and the story flows perfectly. I really connected with Charlie and her internal monologue. The banter between her and Genevieve is on point hilarious and her unlikely friendship with radio host, Graham provides fabulous conversations throughout. He is in her corner and is her one constant especially when she feels alone the most
A wonderfully written story about relationships, the struggles making them and keeping them as an adult. It is heartwarming, honest, real and very poignant. Bringing all the feels it is a must read
Thank you so much Penguin books for my ARC Copy to review
January 13, 2026
Wish there was a 1.5 star. The character was so unaware and such a poor communicator that she irritated me the whole book. I couldn't tell if she was meant to be like that but she genuinely made her own life so hard. She judged people but was awful herself. What did the husband do trope was dragged out and unfulfilling. I pushed through to the end.
January 24, 2026
One of those books that just lands when you need it - so relatable! Probably not a universal 5-star, but for me right now, it is.
October 14, 2025
For me this has been one of those ‘a reader lives a thousand lives’ books. I will never experience Charlie’s level of loneliness. I haven’t moved away for my career. I’m one of seven. I spent my 30s in my cafe, I have always had just enough people. So I love that I have walked in the fashionable shoes of someone coming to terms with lovely. I love that for a novel so concerned with loneliness that I laughed out loud all the time..really well done!
August 24, 2025
I liked the idea of this novel and the themes of friendship and life stages. However, the execution was not for me. The best bits were the text and group chats. The reason for leaving was so predictable. The characters poorly drawn - especially the group of friends. Also there was no sense of place - it was so generic. I don’t think I’d read another of her novels.
October 2, 2025
Took me 5 days longer to finish than it should have.
Dragged and went nowhere. RIP.
Dragged and went nowhere. RIP.
September 26, 2025
4.5 stars.
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Oh… this book was so good! After loving Seaborn’s debut, I was glad to see that this again had her signature writing style all over it. The entire storytelling was very conversational - it somewhat felt like taking a peek at someone’s inner thoughts in a diary, which made the entire story so easy to consume.
Charlie’s experiences were so relatable. It’s not often I see a book touching on the topic of non-romantic adult friendships, so this one came like a rare gem. It perfectly captured the feeling of loneliness and helplessness in an adult’s life, where circle of friends reduced, oftentimes shared with romantic partners, and disappeared altogether when the said romantic relationship dissolved.
The dialogues and contemplations were top notch, I didn’t want them to end. I was right there with Charlie throughout her self-finding journey. I found myself nodding a lot at relatable lines (and there were many of them) and I was completely absorbed. I loved that at the end of the day, this was an ode to a friendship love story.
Next book, please!
(Thanks to Penguin Australia for a gifted review copy)
See my bookstagram review.
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Oh… this book was so good! After loving Seaborn’s debut, I was glad to see that this again had her signature writing style all over it. The entire storytelling was very conversational - it somewhat felt like taking a peek at someone’s inner thoughts in a diary, which made the entire story so easy to consume.
Charlie’s experiences were so relatable. It’s not often I see a book touching on the topic of non-romantic adult friendships, so this one came like a rare gem. It perfectly captured the feeling of loneliness and helplessness in an adult’s life, where circle of friends reduced, oftentimes shared with romantic partners, and disappeared altogether when the said romantic relationship dissolved.
The dialogues and contemplations were top notch, I didn’t want them to end. I was right there with Charlie throughout her self-finding journey. I found myself nodding a lot at relatable lines (and there were many of them) and I was completely absorbed. I loved that at the end of the day, this was an ode to a friendship love story.
Next book, please!
(Thanks to Penguin Australia for a gifted review copy)
See my bookstagram review.
June 21, 2025
Jessica Seaborn’s Isn’t it Nice We Want the Same Things is about relationships but in this novel romantic relationships take a backseat to relationships with mothers, sisters and friends.
At the start of the novel Charlie has left her marriage to Dave and is renavigating her social world as a consequence. She is painfully discovering that ‘their’ friends are in fact ‘his’ friends’. Her dream job as a radio producer is also causing stress as the show she is producing is struggling in the ratings. Her mother and sister are frustrated that she doesn’t visit her childhood home more regularly. Underneath all this is the unresolved trauma Charlie carries about her father’s sudden death when she was eight. The one constant in her life is her dear friend Genevieve but even this is changing.
Jessica Seaborn peoples her novel with believable, engaging characters. Her exploration of the ways life can change rings true. Charlie’s voice and spirit are compelling and the story unfolds with warmth. Both the comedic and poignant moments all feel very real. I am sure many readers will enjoy this charming and thoughtful book.
August 2, 2025
When I opened this book and the first thing I saw was the text exchange between two friends, trying to organise a catch up within their busy schedules, I felt as if Seaborn and personally looked at my phone 😂
The premise of the book intrigued me from when I first heard about it, a mid 30���s single woman, starting over in Sydney. I remember when I first moved to Sydney at the age of 22, trying to figure out how to find friends, the balance between work, social life and family life!
Our protagonist Charlie is trying to start her life after a marriage breakdown, she soon realises her friends were her husbands friends… she truely only has one bestie….. who ends up leaving her to. Charlie is a bit of a mess, but she does try to socialise, she tries to make new friends, new interests and distractions!
Charlie’s family dynamic is a bit messy, and sometimes I just wanted to shake her and say “GO VISIT YOUR MUM”. But her avoidance is explored further in the novel and I gained a better understanding of the family unit and I truly enjoyed how it was tied up.
I love how this is a love story but not in a stereotypical romantic way. It is a love story between friends, self love and learning to accept and move on be happy with/by yourself.
Some great reminders for us mid 30’s , and those going through similar situations.
I found Seaborn’s writing similar to Zoe Foster Blake!
The premise of the book intrigued me from when I first heard about it, a mid 30���s single woman, starting over in Sydney. I remember when I first moved to Sydney at the age of 22, trying to figure out how to find friends, the balance between work, social life and family life!
Our protagonist Charlie is trying to start her life after a marriage breakdown, she soon realises her friends were her husbands friends… she truely only has one bestie….. who ends up leaving her to. Charlie is a bit of a mess, but she does try to socialise, she tries to make new friends, new interests and distractions!
Charlie’s family dynamic is a bit messy, and sometimes I just wanted to shake her and say “GO VISIT YOUR MUM”. But her avoidance is explored further in the novel and I gained a better understanding of the family unit and I truly enjoyed how it was tied up.
I love how this is a love story but not in a stereotypical romantic way. It is a love story between friends, self love and learning to accept and move on be happy with/by yourself.
Some great reminders for us mid 30’s , and those going through similar situations.
I found Seaborn’s writing similar to Zoe Foster Blake!
December 14, 2025
2.5 ✨
rounded up because I’m a people-pleaser
okay, first of all — did I miss something? i couldn’t quite connect the title to the story.
what I liked
- main theme was around friendship rather than finding romantic love
- mc working in radio, i found it interesting
not so good
- no sense of place was bizarre. i think it was set in sydney (unless I’m dreaming it?). but everywhere else was so vague. mc’s small home town? No idea. The state - I assumed wa based on distance and a character catching the ‘red eye’ flight. where did genevieve move to? somewhere interstate where it was humid - queensland?
- frustrating that the reason why the mc divorced her husband was drawn out for sooo long. seemed pointless
- mc was annoying… actually most of the characters were to be honest
- the ending, why? iykyk
rounded up because I’m a people-pleaser
okay, first of all — did I miss something? i couldn’t quite connect the title to the story.
what I liked
- main theme was around friendship rather than finding romantic love
- mc working in radio, i found it interesting
not so good
- no sense of place was bizarre. i think it was set in sydney (unless I’m dreaming it?). but everywhere else was so vague. mc’s small home town? No idea. The state - I assumed wa based on distance and a character catching the ‘red eye’ flight. where did genevieve move to? somewhere interstate where it was humid - queensland?
- frustrating that the reason why the mc divorced her husband was drawn out for sooo long. seemed pointless
- mc was annoying… actually most of the characters were to be honest
- the ending, why? iykyk
August 19, 2025
Although I wanted to punch Charlie for majority of this book, she went through a lot of character development and came out as a better person by the end. I think this is a really good insight into the life of a divorced woman, especially if they’re the one who’s ended it. Spoiler alert, I’m furious you don’t find out the babies name at the end (at least in audiobook you don’t).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 19, 2025
A story about closing chapters, it is relatable and an easy background read. There is no ground breaking plot and reveal, though it does capture something about modern relationships. The prose is too detailed for my taste and could be a shorter read. I enjoyed the Australian narrator on the audio book.
September 7, 2025
Refreshing to read, especially if your life is a mess. Completely relatable and witty AF. A great book for girlies in their thirties who feel like they’ve missed the boat. Easy to read, finished in two days!
October 31, 2025
4 stars ⭐️
Inhaled this book, loved the writing and the relationships and how they intertwined with all the changes in careers, friendships, family and everything in between, such a great read and loved the different perspectives of some of the situations between Dave and charlie.
Inhaled this book, loved the writing and the relationships and how they intertwined with all the changes in careers, friendships, family and everything in between, such a great read and loved the different perspectives of some of the situations between Dave and charlie.
November 10, 2025
Isn’t it nice when you have no expectations from a book, haven’t read the blurb or anything and you thoroughly enjoy it?
Our main character Charlie is dealing with a lot of change and I guess loneliness too. Change with work, her friendships, her marriage, her family, everything is changing and she no longer knows where she truly fits in.
She had a beautiful friendship with Graham and I was so happy he was always there for her. I love these two.
I wasn’t sure where this story was heading and whether it was going to turn into a love story, but I kind of liked that. It was a bit unknown and uncertain, a bit like life really.
I wholeheartedly enjoyed and loved reading about Charlie’s story. I feel like we’ve all been there somewhere in our adult life so this story will be relatable for many people.
Something that hit me while I was reading was this simple question “are you calm?” Is anyone calm anymore?
Thank you so much @penguinbooksaus @netgalley for this early copy.
Our main character Charlie is dealing with a lot of change and I guess loneliness too. Change with work, her friendships, her marriage, her family, everything is changing and she no longer knows where she truly fits in.
She had a beautiful friendship with Graham and I was so happy he was always there for her. I love these two.
I wasn’t sure where this story was heading and whether it was going to turn into a love story, but I kind of liked that. It was a bit unknown and uncertain, a bit like life really.
I wholeheartedly enjoyed and loved reading about Charlie’s story. I feel like we’ve all been there somewhere in our adult life so this story will be relatable for many people.
Something that hit me while I was reading was this simple question “are you calm?” Is anyone calm anymore?
Thank you so much @penguinbooksaus @netgalley for this early copy.
December 8, 2025
It was an ok read.
January 16, 2026
What a waste of time. Weakly drawn characters and a who-cares storyline.
January 5, 2026
An easy read with engaging plot lines, loses a star because the main characters lack of self awareness was very frustrating at times (but maybe that was the point)
October 2, 2025
3.5 - 4 stars
An excellent title.
A good book!
The female friendships in this book!!!! Man oh man. So good!!!
An excellent title.
A good book!
The female friendships in this book!!!! Man oh man. So good!!!
December 26, 2025
DNF but not terrible enough to be 1 star, just not good and not for me
October 8, 2025
I wanted to read another 500 pages of this. I inhaled it. The writer nailed friendships in your 30s, particularly as those around you are having kids etc & you find yourself single.
September 24, 2025
Really loved this one! Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn will be relatable to anyone who has felt that they’re on a different path to their friends. Seaborn explores the evolution of friendships in a really sincere and nuanced way in this book.
The story centres around Charlie, who is dealing with a lot: a divorce, the loss of her and her ex-husband’s shared friendship group, and worst of all her best friend (and pillar of her support network) moving to a different city.
This is a nice and easy summer read - it’s comforting in a lot of ways and I found it refreshing to read a book about a friendship fallout without the drama. There is no hysteria here, just normal characters navigating difficult circumstances as best they can. The writing is great and I was pleased to discover a voice in Aussie fiction that I hadn’t read before!
I would recommend this book to fans of Dolly Alderton, Genevieve Novak and Holly Bourne. Seaborn shares their funny and insightful writing style, so if you enjoyed books by any of those authors, you are likely to enjoy this.
4 ⭐️
Thank you to Penguin Random House Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The story centres around Charlie, who is dealing with a lot: a divorce, the loss of her and her ex-husband’s shared friendship group, and worst of all her best friend (and pillar of her support network) moving to a different city.
This is a nice and easy summer read - it’s comforting in a lot of ways and I found it refreshing to read a book about a friendship fallout without the drama. There is no hysteria here, just normal characters navigating difficult circumstances as best they can. The writing is great and I was pleased to discover a voice in Aussie fiction that I hadn’t read before!
I would recommend this book to fans of Dolly Alderton, Genevieve Novak and Holly Bourne. Seaborn shares their funny and insightful writing style, so if you enjoyed books by any of those authors, you are likely to enjoy this.
4 ⭐️
Thank you to Penguin Random House Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 15, 2025
This is a lovely page turner but Charlie is so needy and awfully naive for someone in their mid thirties that she did get tiresome. And … it is quite long so there is a lot of drama to get through … but it’s an easy read that will keep you interested.
July 22, 2025
Isn't It Nice We Both Hate The Same Things by Jessica Seaborn
☀️☀️☀️☀️⛅ (4.5 rounded up)
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for this ARC!
An earnest, poignant examination of life in your thirties through relationships with those we love, those we lose, and those we meet along the way.
When Charlie leaves her husband she quickly realises that many of her friendships come with a catch - they were his friends first. Processing the large scale loss is made harder by huge changes at work and with her best friend, and Charlie finds herself starting over again. The process is challenging and emotional and it is a hell of a journey to come along with as a reader, but I was committed and struggled to put the book down.
Charlie is a loveable and complicated protagonist. She felt so relatable as a woman of similar age - losing friendships and having career and family struggles are painfully real, and Seaborn balanced the different narratives effortlessly. I adored the focus on family and friends as primary relationships in our lives, especially the friendship between Charlie and Genevieve.
The biggest theme here is change, and how we often struggle to cope with it. Some changes are good, some are not, and perceptions of that can shift as time goes on. All of these variables exist in Seaborn's novel in thoughtful and believable ways. Charlie's growth over the course of the book is heartening and mature and inspiring.
For anyone struggling to feel settled in their thirties, especially during times of change or uncertainty, this is the book for you! I loved reading this and look forward to placing a physical copy on my shelf when it's released next month.
"It's not that I've missed Dave. I haven't. Not as my husband, anyway. Not in any way that makes me want him back. But as one of my best friends? Oh, yes, I've missed that. I miss him in the way I wear a lot of dark grey clothing, because he once pointed out that it suits me and contrasts with my blonde hair. I miss him in the way I complete a crossword before bed every night, because he introduced me to the app years earlier. I miss him in the way I still buy the same brand of washing powder we used to use.
I miss him in the way he changed my life, in all the littlest ways."
☀️☀️☀️☀️⛅ (4.5 rounded up)
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for this ARC!
An earnest, poignant examination of life in your thirties through relationships with those we love, those we lose, and those we meet along the way.
When Charlie leaves her husband she quickly realises that many of her friendships come with a catch - they were his friends first. Processing the large scale loss is made harder by huge changes at work and with her best friend, and Charlie finds herself starting over again. The process is challenging and emotional and it is a hell of a journey to come along with as a reader, but I was committed and struggled to put the book down.
Charlie is a loveable and complicated protagonist. She felt so relatable as a woman of similar age - losing friendships and having career and family struggles are painfully real, and Seaborn balanced the different narratives effortlessly. I adored the focus on family and friends as primary relationships in our lives, especially the friendship between Charlie and Genevieve.
The biggest theme here is change, and how we often struggle to cope with it. Some changes are good, some are not, and perceptions of that can shift as time goes on. All of these variables exist in Seaborn's novel in thoughtful and believable ways. Charlie's growth over the course of the book is heartening and mature and inspiring.
For anyone struggling to feel settled in their thirties, especially during times of change or uncertainty, this is the book for you! I loved reading this and look forward to placing a physical copy on my shelf when it's released next month.
"It's not that I've missed Dave. I haven't. Not as my husband, anyway. Not in any way that makes me want him back. But as one of my best friends? Oh, yes, I've missed that. I miss him in the way I wear a lot of dark grey clothing, because he once pointed out that it suits me and contrasts with my blonde hair. I miss him in the way I complete a crossword before bed every night, because he introduced me to the app years earlier. I miss him in the way I still buy the same brand of washing powder we used to use.
I miss him in the way he changed my life, in all the littlest ways."
December 26, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
Three and a half stars rounded down to three.
Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn follows Charlie, a 30-something radio producer, who finds herself lonely and adrift after leaving her husband, losing mutual friends, and feeling her best friend drift away; the witty, moving novel explores her quest to build new friendships while navigating insecurities, guilt, and the complexities of adult relationships. It's a story about female friendship, connection, and the challenges of finding your people in your thirties, celebrating the importance of shared gripes and real bonds.
Since I'm so behind on writing my reviews, I'm going to do somewhat less than I would normally do when writing a review. Just until I catch up (just 20 or so more to go...) So what I am going to do now is just talk about what I think the best thing about the book is and what the worst thing about the book is. I'll start with the best thing: this was an easy read. The chapters were short and it made it easy for me to think “oh just one more chapter…” and before I knew it, I had read five. It was also interesting reading about Charlie’s difficulties and how she managed them. It was a kind of fly on the wall perspective that I enjoyed.
What I liked the least: Charlie wasn’t particularly likeable. So many times I wanted to reach through the book and slap her. People are definitely allowed and should be encouraged to feel their feelings and wallow if they need to. Charlie took this and ran with it. She became someone who didn’t give a shit about anyone other than herself. Not her best friend, not her family, not anyone or anything other than herself. In fact honestly maybe she was like this the whole tome. She had a small amount of character growth, but it could have been a lot more than what it was. This annoyed me for quite a long part of the book and it isn’t so fun to read a book when you dislike and are annoyed and frustrated with the main character. She wasn’t sympathetic to me at all (apart from right at the start). I’ll still try the author’s other book though. It’s worth a chance and this book did have promise.
Three and a half stars rounded down to three.
Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn follows Charlie, a 30-something radio producer, who finds herself lonely and adrift after leaving her husband, losing mutual friends, and feeling her best friend drift away; the witty, moving novel explores her quest to build new friendships while navigating insecurities, guilt, and the complexities of adult relationships. It's a story about female friendship, connection, and the challenges of finding your people in your thirties, celebrating the importance of shared gripes and real bonds.
Since I'm so behind on writing my reviews, I'm going to do somewhat less than I would normally do when writing a review. Just until I catch up (just 20 or so more to go...) So what I am going to do now is just talk about what I think the best thing about the book is and what the worst thing about the book is. I'll start with the best thing: this was an easy read. The chapters were short and it made it easy for me to think “oh just one more chapter…” and before I knew it, I had read five. It was also interesting reading about Charlie’s difficulties and how she managed them. It was a kind of fly on the wall perspective that I enjoyed.
What I liked the least: Charlie wasn’t particularly likeable. So many times I wanted to reach through the book and slap her. People are definitely allowed and should be encouraged to feel their feelings and wallow if they need to. Charlie took this and ran with it. She became someone who didn’t give a shit about anyone other than herself. Not her best friend, not her family, not anyone or anything other than herself. In fact honestly maybe she was like this the whole tome. She had a small amount of character growth, but it could have been a lot more than what it was. This annoyed me for quite a long part of the book and it isn’t so fun to read a book when you dislike and are annoyed and frustrated with the main character. She wasn’t sympathetic to me at all (apart from right at the start). I’ll still try the author’s other book though. It’s worth a chance and this book did have promise.
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