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Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things
'For so long we'd been on the same path together. But somehow, along the way, I turned around and Genevieve kept going.'
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Dreading the prospect of returning to her childhood home for the anniversary of her father’s death, she busies herself by seeking new friendships – book clubs, pub crawls, team sports, the works. But Charlie’s determination to surround herself with unfamiliar people forces her to confront her insecurities. What kind of life does she want? And who does she really want to spend it with?
For fans of Dolly Alderton and Zoë Foster Blake, Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is a bitingly witty yet moving take on the struggles of maintaining relationships and creating new ones as an adult – a story that ultimately celebrates the importance and complexities of best friends.
Praise for Jessica
'Fast-paced and funny'
'Jess Seaborn’s writing is a warm hug from the first page to the last'
'Compulsively readable, extremely interesting, and at times, laugh out loud funny'
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Dreading the prospect of returning to her childhood home for the anniversary of her father’s death, she busies herself by seeking new friendships – book clubs, pub crawls, team sports, the works. But Charlie’s determination to surround herself with unfamiliar people forces her to confront her insecurities. What kind of life does she want? And who does she really want to spend it with?
For fans of Dolly Alderton and Zoë Foster Blake, Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is a bitingly witty yet moving take on the struggles of maintaining relationships and creating new ones as an adult – a story that ultimately celebrates the importance and complexities of best friends.
Praise for Jessica
'Fast-paced and funny'
'Jess Seaborn’s writing is a warm hug from the first page to the last'
'Compulsively readable, extremely interesting, and at times, laugh out loud funny'
434 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 5, 2025
40 people are currently reading
757 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
September 17, 2025
Isn’t it Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn
★★★★★
Charlie’s life is a mess after her divorce leaves her friendless, so she dives headfirst into book clubs, pub crawls, and team sports to rebuild her social circle. Along the way, she’s forced to face her insecurities and figure out what – and who – she really wants in her life.
I was hooked on Charlie’s world from the start. Even with the drama that hits right out of the gate, I felt instantly connected to Charlie. It was if she was someone I already knew. She’s inviting, interesting, and so easy to spend time with on the page.
Jessica Seaborn nails that perfect balance of giving you enough insight into the characters while still keeping a little mystery. The short chapters and great pacing kept me turning pages without even realising how quickly I was flying through it.
This book really digs into friendship, parenthood, and just… being an adult. As kids, we think grown-ups have it all together (houses, careers, relationships) but in reality, it’s a juggling act that comes with a mountain of responsibilities.
I loved every second of this read, and it’s already sitting at the top of my favourites list for 2025.
💔📚🍷📻
Thanks to @netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.
Pour a hot drink, it’s book talk time.
Instagram
TikTok
★★★★★
Charlie’s life is a mess after her divorce leaves her friendless, so she dives headfirst into book clubs, pub crawls, and team sports to rebuild her social circle. Along the way, she’s forced to face her insecurities and figure out what – and who – she really wants in her life.
I was hooked on Charlie’s world from the start. Even with the drama that hits right out of the gate, I felt instantly connected to Charlie. It was if she was someone I already knew. She’s inviting, interesting, and so easy to spend time with on the page.
Jessica Seaborn nails that perfect balance of giving you enough insight into the characters while still keeping a little mystery. The short chapters and great pacing kept me turning pages without even realising how quickly I was flying through it.
This book really digs into friendship, parenthood, and just… being an adult. As kids, we think grown-ups have it all together (houses, careers, relationships) but in reality, it’s a juggling act that comes with a mountain of responsibilities.
I loved every second of this read, and it’s already sitting at the top of my favourites list for 2025.
💔📚🍷📻
Thanks to @netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.
Pour a hot drink, it’s book talk time.
TikTok
July 22, 2025
I really enjoyed this second novel by Jessica Seaborn, Isn't It Nice We Both Hate The Same Things - also, what a title! I think this one might not be what many people are expecting it to be. There's no romance - winning! - nor is it overly funny. Rather, it's just entirely real, and I loved it all the more for that.
"In the middle of the conversation, I realised that being an adult is just saying 'after this week things will slow down a bit' until we all die."
I would call this a crossroads story, in that it's character driven, and the main character driving it is at a crossroads. Six months after a marriage break-up, she's also finding the other parts of her life are being turned inside out: her career, her friendships, and her family relationships. All of which causes her to have a reckoning of sorts.
Reading this novel was a bit like hanging out with a good friend. I felt invested in Charlie's life for the duration, enjoyed her witty banter with her co-workers, was outraged on her behalf at the shoddy way she was dropped by her ex-husband's friends, and felt the deep sadness along with her over the widening rift with her sister and the acceptance of her best friend moving interstate.
I enjoyed the overall story arc and would recommend this one as the ultimate comfort read. It has all the feels and hits the right notes at the right time, all the way through.
4.5 stars. Thanks to @penguinbooksaus
for the copy.
"In the middle of the conversation, I realised that being an adult is just saying 'after this week things will slow down a bit' until we all die."
I would call this a crossroads story, in that it's character driven, and the main character driving it is at a crossroads. Six months after a marriage break-up, she's also finding the other parts of her life are being turned inside out: her career, her friendships, and her family relationships. All of which causes her to have a reckoning of sorts.
Reading this novel was a bit like hanging out with a good friend. I felt invested in Charlie's life for the duration, enjoyed her witty banter with her co-workers, was outraged on her behalf at the shoddy way she was dropped by her ex-husband's friends, and felt the deep sadness along with her over the widening rift with her sister and the acceptance of her best friend moving interstate.
I enjoyed the overall story arc and would recommend this one as the ultimate comfort read. It has all the feels and hits the right notes at the right time, all the way through.
4.5 stars. Thanks to @penguinbooksaus
for the copy.
September 14, 2025
2 1/2 rounded down. The lack of place really distracted me throughout this book. Especially when so much of the novel is about her leaving a small town to go to a city. I also didn’t like the main character - communicating with her was like pulling teeth, whether it was her ex husband, her friends or her family.
July 24, 2025
I absolutely loved Jessica’s debut novel ‘Perfect-ish’ and was very excited to read this, her second novel
In her early 30s, while Charlie is thriving in her radio producing career and very much in control, her private life is starting to crumble. Having recently left her husband Dave, the life they built together over ten years is very much over and while Dave is having a hard time coming to terms with it, so is the group of friends they once shared.. who have now shut her out
Charlie can’t really turn to her family as she has really distanced herself from her sister Naya and mum Penelope. Always finding excuses never to visit home
And while her best friend Genevieve is a constant support, her life is heading in a different direction to Charlie and this prompts Charlie to step outside her comfort zone and start a mid life quest for new friendships via activities like book clubs, karate, trying to find that connection she is missing
Jessica’s characters are so real and the story flows perfectly. I really connected with Charlie and her internal monologue. The banter between her and Genevieve is on point hilarious and her unlikely friendship with radio host, Graham provides fabulous conversations throughout. He is in her corner and is her one constant especially when she feels alone the most
A wonderfully written story about relationships, the struggles making them and keeping them as an adult. It is heartwarming, honest, real and very poignant. Bringing all the feels it is a must read
Thank you so much Penguin books for my ARC Copy to review
In her early 30s, while Charlie is thriving in her radio producing career and very much in control, her private life is starting to crumble. Having recently left her husband Dave, the life they built together over ten years is very much over and while Dave is having a hard time coming to terms with it, so is the group of friends they once shared.. who have now shut her out
Charlie can’t really turn to her family as she has really distanced herself from her sister Naya and mum Penelope. Always finding excuses never to visit home
And while her best friend Genevieve is a constant support, her life is heading in a different direction to Charlie and this prompts Charlie to step outside her comfort zone and start a mid life quest for new friendships via activities like book clubs, karate, trying to find that connection she is missing
Jessica’s characters are so real and the story flows perfectly. I really connected with Charlie and her internal monologue. The banter between her and Genevieve is on point hilarious and her unlikely friendship with radio host, Graham provides fabulous conversations throughout. He is in her corner and is her one constant especially when she feels alone the most
A wonderfully written story about relationships, the struggles making them and keeping them as an adult. It is heartwarming, honest, real and very poignant. Bringing all the feels it is a must read
Thank you so much Penguin books for my ARC Copy to review
October 14, 2025
For me this has been one of those ‘a reader lives a thousand lives’ books. I will never experience Charlie’s level of loneliness. I haven’t moved away for my career. I’m one of seven. I spent my 30s in my cafe, I have always had just enough people. So I love that I have walked in the fashionable shoes of someone coming to terms with lovely. I love that for a novel so concerned with loneliness that I laughed out loud all the time..really well done!
September 25, 2025
As someone who had to rebuild their friendship group twice in their 30s I thought I'd relate to a book about how hard it is to make adult friends. But the main character just came across as really immature and lacking any self awareness and I found her more annoying than relatable.
August 24, 2025
I liked the idea of this novel and the themes of friendship and life stages. However, the execution was not for me. The best bits were the text and group chats. The reason for leaving was so predictable. The characters poorly drawn - especially the group of friends. Also there was no sense of place - it was so generic. I don’t think I’d read another of her novels.
August 27, 2025
This was an easy read, but it was different to what I expected. I found it lacked a real sense of place, which made it harder to feel immersed. I also struggled with Charlie, who often came across as obnoxious and lacking self-awareness.
Entertaining overall, but not a standout for me.
Entertaining overall, but not a standout for me.
September 26, 2025
4.5 stars.
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Oh… this book was so good! After loving Seaborn’s debut, I was glad to see that this again had her signature writing style all over it. The entire storytelling was very conversational - it somewhat felt like taking a peek at someone’s inner thoughts in a diary, which made the entire story so easy to consume.
Charlie’s experiences were so relatable. It’s not often I see a book touching on the topic of non-romantic adult friendships, so this one came like a rare gem. It perfectly captured the feeling of loneliness and helplessness in an adult’s life, where circle of friends reduced, oftentimes shared with romantic partners, and disappeared altogether when the said romantic relationship dissolved.
The dialogues and contemplations were top notch, I didn’t want them to end. I was right there with Charlie throughout her self-finding journey. I found myself nodding a lot at relatable lines (and there were many of them) and I was completely absorbed. I loved that at the end of the day, this was an ode to a friendship love story.
Next book, please!
(Thanks to Penguin Australia for a gifted review copy)
See my bookstagram review.
Charlie, a prime-time radio producer in her early thirties, has always had a big group of friends – until she left her husband, and they all sided with him. Now she finds herself floundering in a sea of awkward run-ins and silent group chats. When her best friend Genevieve starts moving on with her life, too, Charlie realises how few significant people she has around her, and what a lonely place that can be.
Oh… this book was so good! After loving Seaborn’s debut, I was glad to see that this again had her signature writing style all over it. The entire storytelling was very conversational - it somewhat felt like taking a peek at someone’s inner thoughts in a diary, which made the entire story so easy to consume.
Charlie’s experiences were so relatable. It’s not often I see a book touching on the topic of non-romantic adult friendships, so this one came like a rare gem. It perfectly captured the feeling of loneliness and helplessness in an adult’s life, where circle of friends reduced, oftentimes shared with romantic partners, and disappeared altogether when the said romantic relationship dissolved.
The dialogues and contemplations were top notch, I didn’t want them to end. I was right there with Charlie throughout her self-finding journey. I found myself nodding a lot at relatable lines (and there were many of them) and I was completely absorbed. I loved that at the end of the day, this was an ode to a friendship love story.
Next book, please!
(Thanks to Penguin Australia for a gifted review copy)
See my bookstagram review.
June 21, 2025
Jessica Seaborn’s Isn’t it Nice We Want the Same Things is about relationships but in this novel romantic relationships take a backseat to relationships with mothers, sisters and friends.
At the start of the novel Charlie has left her marriage to Dave and is renavigating her social world as a consequence. She is painfully discovering that ‘their’ friends are in fact ‘his’ friends’. Her dream job as a radio producer is also causing stress as the show she is producing is struggling in the ratings. Her mother and sister are frustrated that she doesn’t visit her childhood home more regularly. Underneath all this is the unresolved trauma Charlie carries about her father’s sudden death when she was eight. The one constant in her life is her dear friend Genevieve but even this is changing.
Jessica Seaborn peoples her novel with believable, engaging characters. Her exploration of the ways life can change rings true. Charlie’s voice and spirit are compelling and the story unfolds with warmth. Both the comedic and poignant moments all feel very real. I am sure many readers will enjoy this charming and thoughtful book.
August 2, 2025
When I opened this book and the first thing I saw was the text exchange between two friends, trying to organise a catch up within their busy schedules, I felt as if Seaborn and personally looked at my phone 😂
The premise of the book intrigued me from when I first heard about it, a mid 30’s single woman, starting over in Sydney. I remember when I first moved to Sydney at the age of 22, trying to figure out how to find friends, the balance between work, social life and family life!
Our protagonist Charlie is trying to start her life after a marriage breakdown, she soon realises her friends were her husbands friends… she truely only has one bestie….. who ends up leaving her to. Charlie is a bit of a mess, but she does try to socialise, she tries to make new friends, new interests and distractions!
Charlie’s family dynamic is a bit messy, and sometimes I just wanted to shake her and say “GO VISIT YOUR MUM”. But her avoidance is explored further in the novel and I gained a better understanding of the family unit and I truly enjoyed how it was tied up.
I love how this is a love story but not in a stereotypical romantic way. It is a love story between friends, self love and learning to accept and move on be happy with/by yourself.
Some great reminders for us mid 30’s , and those going through similar situations.
I found Seaborn’s writing similar to Zoe Foster Blake!
The premise of the book intrigued me from when I first heard about it, a mid 30’s single woman, starting over in Sydney. I remember when I first moved to Sydney at the age of 22, trying to figure out how to find friends, the balance between work, social life and family life!
Our protagonist Charlie is trying to start her life after a marriage breakdown, she soon realises her friends were her husbands friends… she truely only has one bestie….. who ends up leaving her to. Charlie is a bit of a mess, but she does try to socialise, she tries to make new friends, new interests and distractions!
Charlie’s family dynamic is a bit messy, and sometimes I just wanted to shake her and say “GO VISIT YOUR MUM”. But her avoidance is explored further in the novel and I gained a better understanding of the family unit and I truly enjoyed how it was tied up.
I love how this is a love story but not in a stereotypical romantic way. It is a love story between friends, self love and learning to accept and move on be happy with/by yourself.
Some great reminders for us mid 30’s , and those going through similar situations.
I found Seaborn’s writing similar to Zoe Foster Blake!
August 19, 2025
Although I wanted to punch Charlie for majority of this book, she went through a lot of character development and came out as a better person by the end. I think this is a really good insight into the life of a divorced woman, especially if they’re the one who’s ended it. Spoiler alert, I’m furious you don’t find out the babies name at the end (at least in audiobook you don’t).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 19, 2025
A story about closing chapters, it is relatable and an easy background read. There is no ground breaking plot and reveal, though it does capture something about modern relationships. The prose is too detailed for my taste and could be a shorter read. I enjoyed the Australian narrator on the audio book.
September 7, 2025
Refreshing to read, especially if your life is a mess. Completely relatable and witty AF. A great book for girlies in their thirties who feel like they’ve missed the boat. Easy to read, finished in two days!
October 31, 2025
4 stars ⭐️
Inhaled this book, loved the writing and the relationships and how they intertwined with all the changes in careers, friendships, family and everything in between, such a great read and loved the different perspectives of some of the situations between Dave and charlie.
Inhaled this book, loved the writing and the relationships and how they intertwined with all the changes in careers, friendships, family and everything in between, such a great read and loved the different perspectives of some of the situations between Dave and charlie.
November 10, 2025
Isn’t it nice when you have no expectations from a book, haven’t read the blurb or anything and you thoroughly enjoy it?
Our main character Charlie is dealing with a lot of change and I guess loneliness too. Change with work, her friendships, her marriage, her family, everything is changing and she no longer knows where she truly fits in.
She had a beautiful friendship with Graham and I was so happy he was always there for her. I love these two.
I wasn’t sure where this story was heading and whether it was going to turn into a love story, but I kind of liked that. It was a bit unknown and uncertain, a bit like life really.
I wholeheartedly enjoyed and loved reading about Charlie’s story. I feel like we’ve all been there somewhere in our adult life so this story will be relatable for many people.
Something that hit me while I was reading was this simple question “are you calm?” Is anyone calm anymore?
Thank you so much @penguinbooksaus @netgalley for this early copy.
Our main character Charlie is dealing with a lot of change and I guess loneliness too. Change with work, her friendships, her marriage, her family, everything is changing and she no longer knows where she truly fits in.
She had a beautiful friendship with Graham and I was so happy he was always there for her. I love these two.
I wasn’t sure where this story was heading and whether it was going to turn into a love story, but I kind of liked that. It was a bit unknown and uncertain, a bit like life really.
I wholeheartedly enjoyed and loved reading about Charlie’s story. I feel like we’ve all been there somewhere in our adult life so this story will be relatable for many people.
Something that hit me while I was reading was this simple question “are you calm?” Is anyone calm anymore?
Thank you so much @penguinbooksaus @netgalley for this early copy.
July 19, 2025
Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn is out August 5th. It’s a sharp, well-written novel about adult friendships, fractured connections, and the messy art of starting over in your thirties.
Charlie, a breakfast radio producer, is newly divorced and freshly isolated—her old friends have taken her ex’s side, her best friend is drifting, and the loneliness is setting in. In an effort to rebuild her life (and avoid an emotionally loaded family trip), she throws herself into all the ways adults try to meet people—book clubs, pub crawls, team sports—and finds herself face to face with her own insecurities.
There’s a lot I found relatable here—the ache of friendships shifting with age, the difficulty in trying to make new connections in your thirties, and the awkward, aching moments of trying so hard to feel okay again. Seaborn’s style is simple but effective, and her take on adult friendships feels grounded.
That said… I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this book overall. The plot didn’t quite unfold how I expected, and while I usually love complicated characters, I found myself increasingly frustrated with Charlie. I wanted to root for her, but by the end, I wasn’t really rooting for anyone. Most of the characters felt a bit awful—and maybe that was the point? That we’re all a little bit terrible and love each other anyway? 🤔
I’ve been mulling over the book since I finished yesterday and I’m still not sure what this book was trying to say exactly—but maybe that’s the point too. That life, and friendship, and heartbreak are all a bit ambiguous. A bit murky. A bit hard to wrap up neatly.
It left me puzzled—but not unaffected. And sometimes that’s worth sitting with.
Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is out on August 5th and I’m keen to hear what others think. Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Random House Australia for an ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.
Charlie, a breakfast radio producer, is newly divorced and freshly isolated—her old friends have taken her ex’s side, her best friend is drifting, and the loneliness is setting in. In an effort to rebuild her life (and avoid an emotionally loaded family trip), she throws herself into all the ways adults try to meet people—book clubs, pub crawls, team sports—and finds herself face to face with her own insecurities.
There’s a lot I found relatable here—the ache of friendships shifting with age, the difficulty in trying to make new connections in your thirties, and the awkward, aching moments of trying so hard to feel okay again. Seaborn’s style is simple but effective, and her take on adult friendships feels grounded.
That said… I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this book overall. The plot didn’t quite unfold how I expected, and while I usually love complicated characters, I found myself increasingly frustrated with Charlie. I wanted to root for her, but by the end, I wasn’t really rooting for anyone. Most of the characters felt a bit awful—and maybe that was the point? That we’re all a little bit terrible and love each other anyway? 🤔
I’ve been mulling over the book since I finished yesterday and I’m still not sure what this book was trying to say exactly—but maybe that’s the point too. That life, and friendship, and heartbreak are all a bit ambiguous. A bit murky. A bit hard to wrap up neatly.
It left me puzzled—but not unaffected. And sometimes that’s worth sitting with.
Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things is out on August 5th and I’m keen to hear what others think. Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Random House Australia for an ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.
October 2, 2025
3.5 - 4 stars
An excellent title.
A good book!
The female friendships in this book!!!! Man oh man. So good!!!
An excellent title.
A good book!
The female friendships in this book!!!! Man oh man. So good!!!
October 8, 2025
I wanted to read another 500 pages of this. I inhaled it. The writer nailed friendships in your 30s, particularly as those around you are having kids etc & you find yourself single.
September 24, 2025
Really loved this one! Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things by Jessica Seaborn will be relatable to anyone who has felt that they’re on a different path to their friends. Seaborn explores the evolution of friendships in a really sincere and nuanced way in this book.
The story centres around Charlie, who is dealing with a lot: a divorce, the loss of her and her ex-husband’s shared friendship group, and worst of all her best friend (and pillar of her support network) moving to a different city.
This is a nice and easy summer read - it’s comforting in a lot of ways and I found it refreshing to read a book about a friendship fallout without the drama. There is no hysteria here, just normal characters navigating difficult circumstances as best they can. The writing is great and I was pleased to discover a voice in Aussie fiction that I hadn’t read before!
I would recommend this book to fans of Dolly Alderton, Genevieve Novak and Holly Bourne. Seaborn shares their funny and insightful writing style, so if you enjoyed books by any of those authors, you are likely to enjoy this.
4 ⭐️
Thank you to Penguin Random House Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The story centres around Charlie, who is dealing with a lot: a divorce, the loss of her and her ex-husband’s shared friendship group, and worst of all her best friend (and pillar of her support network) moving to a different city.
This is a nice and easy summer read - it’s comforting in a lot of ways and I found it refreshing to read a book about a friendship fallout without the drama. There is no hysteria here, just normal characters navigating difficult circumstances as best they can. The writing is great and I was pleased to discover a voice in Aussie fiction that I hadn’t read before!
I would recommend this book to fans of Dolly Alderton, Genevieve Novak and Holly Bourne. Seaborn shares their funny and insightful writing style, so if you enjoyed books by any of those authors, you are likely to enjoy this.
4 ⭐️
Thank you to Penguin Random House Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 15, 2025
This is a lovely page turner but Charlie is so needy and awfully naive for someone in their mid thirties that she did get tiresome. And … it is quite long so there is a lot of drama to get through … but it’s an easy read that will keep you interested.
July 22, 2025
Isn't It Nice We Both Hate The Same Things by Jessica Seaborn
☀️☀️☀️☀️⛅ (4.5 rounded up)
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for this ARC!
An earnest, poignant examination of life in your thirties through relationships with those we love, those we lose, and those we meet along the way.
When Charlie leaves her husband she quickly realises that many of her friendships come with a catch - they were his friends first. Processing the large scale loss is made harder by huge changes at work and with her best friend, and Charlie finds herself starting over again. The process is challenging and emotional and it is a hell of a journey to come along with as a reader, but I was committed and struggled to put the book down.
Charlie is a loveable and complicated protagonist. She felt so relatable as a woman of similar age - losing friendships and having career and family struggles are painfully real, and Seaborn balanced the different narratives effortlessly. I adored the focus on family and friends as primary relationships in our lives, especially the friendship between Charlie and Genevieve.
The biggest theme here is change, and how we often struggle to cope with it. Some changes are good, some are not, and perceptions of that can shift as time goes on. All of these variables exist in Seaborn's novel in thoughtful and believable ways. Charlie's growth over the course of the book is heartening and mature and inspiring.
For anyone struggling to feel settled in their thirties, especially during times of change or uncertainty, this is the book for you! I loved reading this and look forward to placing a physical copy on my shelf when it's released next month.
"It's not that I've missed Dave. I haven't. Not as my husband, anyway. Not in any way that makes me want him back. But as one of my best friends? Oh, yes, I've missed that. I miss him in the way I wear a lot of dark grey clothing, because he once pointed out that it suits me and contrasts with my blonde hair. I miss him in the way I complete a crossword before bed every night, because he introduced me to the app years earlier. I miss him in the way I still buy the same brand of washing powder we used to use.
I miss him in the way he changed my life, in all the littlest ways."
☀️☀️☀️☀️⛅ (4.5 rounded up)
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for this ARC!
An earnest, poignant examination of life in your thirties through relationships with those we love, those we lose, and those we meet along the way.
When Charlie leaves her husband she quickly realises that many of her friendships come with a catch - they were his friends first. Processing the large scale loss is made harder by huge changes at work and with her best friend, and Charlie finds herself starting over again. The process is challenging and emotional and it is a hell of a journey to come along with as a reader, but I was committed and struggled to put the book down.
Charlie is a loveable and complicated protagonist. She felt so relatable as a woman of similar age - losing friendships and having career and family struggles are painfully real, and Seaborn balanced the different narratives effortlessly. I adored the focus on family and friends as primary relationships in our lives, especially the friendship between Charlie and Genevieve.
The biggest theme here is change, and how we often struggle to cope with it. Some changes are good, some are not, and perceptions of that can shift as time goes on. All of these variables exist in Seaborn's novel in thoughtful and believable ways. Charlie's growth over the course of the book is heartening and mature and inspiring.
For anyone struggling to feel settled in their thirties, especially during times of change or uncertainty, this is the book for you! I loved reading this and look forward to placing a physical copy on my shelf when it's released next month.
"It's not that I've missed Dave. I haven't. Not as my husband, anyway. Not in any way that makes me want him back. But as one of my best friends? Oh, yes, I've missed that. I miss him in the way I wear a lot of dark grey clothing, because he once pointed out that it suits me and contrasts with my blonde hair. I miss him in the way I complete a crossword before bed every night, because he introduced me to the app years earlier. I miss him in the way I still buy the same brand of washing powder we used to use.
I miss him in the way he changed my life, in all the littlest ways."
August 6, 2025
Have you ever read a book where at every crucial moment you feel like this is you, that this story is about you? That you’ve been there and you know exactly how it feels like? This was that book for me. The moving across the world for a change. Or running away when everything goes down the hill or the feeling lonely and that I have no one or the absolute gut wrenching loss of friendships or that I don’t need help or that healing that I never knew I needed … this book had all the feels. I have lost count of how many times I cried and I laughed and sometimes both at the same time. It’s a heartfelt book about friendship, loss, grief, love, self discovery, and most importantly, forgiving yourself.
Charlie, in her thirties, is suddenly amidst a divorce and losing her friends, two things she’s never believed she would have to face. She already had ran away from home once when things got bad, she certainly can’t run again this time. However, struggling with facing all this, she finds new friends and new life experiences that prompts her to face her internal struggles. Things are changing around her too sudden and too fast, and she can’t keep up! Will this time too would she end up being alone and lonely?
I’d wish everyone a Genevieve in their lives. She is the best friend anyone could hope for! I wish I had taken the time to reconcile with friends that I have lost. I wish I had figured out how to keep them in my lives without trying to keep everything the same. Man this book is incredible. This book is going to heal something in all of us! So please go and get a copy, we need this book in all our lives 🫶🏼🫶🏼💕💕💕💕
Thank you @penguinbooksaus for the physical ARC copy!!
Charlie, in her thirties, is suddenly amidst a divorce and losing her friends, two things she’s never believed she would have to face. She already had ran away from home once when things got bad, she certainly can’t run again this time. However, struggling with facing all this, she finds new friends and new life experiences that prompts her to face her internal struggles. Things are changing around her too sudden and too fast, and she can’t keep up! Will this time too would she end up being alone and lonely?
I’d wish everyone a Genevieve in their lives. She is the best friend anyone could hope for! I wish I had taken the time to reconcile with friends that I have lost. I wish I had figured out how to keep them in my lives without trying to keep everything the same. Man this book is incredible. This book is going to heal something in all of us! So please go and get a copy, we need this book in all our lives 🫶🏼🫶🏼💕💕💕💕
Thank you @penguinbooksaus for the physical ARC copy!!
November 2, 2025
This book is well written, with a smooth flow and thoughtful prose. The author clearly has talent, and there were moments that felt genuinely relatable, particularly around, the unraveling of a relationship, heartbreak and loosing/making friends in your thirties. I could really see glimmers of my own experience reflected on the page, books like this have generally made me feel seen and less alone, I guess in a way their kind of comforting.
That said, unfortunately I didn’t find myself connecting deeply with the story. It felt a little forced at times, as though the narrative was being steered toward a specific outcome, it just felt a bit clunky, like it wasn’t unfolding naturally. While parts of it were familiar and even poignant, I never fully warmed to the main character, and I didn’t feel the title’s premise ever really came to life. I also kept waiting for something big to happen, some moment that would truly hook me, but it never quite arrived. The book was fine, just not one that drew me in or stayed with me once I finished.
I so wanted to love this one, the themes felt so close to my own life, and it should have been a book that spoke directly to me. But somehow, it just didn’t quite land. The emotion was there, the writing was good, but I never felt fully pulled in. Maybe it was timing, maybe it was me, or maybe it was that the story hit a little too close to home to be enjoyable. Whatever the reason, it left me feeling a bit flat rather than moved. Still, I can appreciate what the author was trying to do, to capture the ache of change, the loss of love, and the messy beauty of starting again.
That said, unfortunately I didn’t find myself connecting deeply with the story. It felt a little forced at times, as though the narrative was being steered toward a specific outcome, it just felt a bit clunky, like it wasn’t unfolding naturally. While parts of it were familiar and even poignant, I never fully warmed to the main character, and I didn’t feel the title’s premise ever really came to life. I also kept waiting for something big to happen, some moment that would truly hook me, but it never quite arrived. The book was fine, just not one that drew me in or stayed with me once I finished.
I so wanted to love this one, the themes felt so close to my own life, and it should have been a book that spoke directly to me. But somehow, it just didn’t quite land. The emotion was there, the writing was good, but I never felt fully pulled in. Maybe it was timing, maybe it was me, or maybe it was that the story hit a little too close to home to be enjoyable. Whatever the reason, it left me feeling a bit flat rather than moved. Still, I can appreciate what the author was trying to do, to capture the ache of change, the loss of love, and the messy beauty of starting again.
August 7, 2025
3.5 rounded up.
This is the story of Charlie, who leaves her husband for (initially) unstated reasons and then has to discover what her life could be like and what she wants her life to be like. I really liked the first two parts, where she is wrestling with friendships, family and the death of her father 20 years ago. The final section (entitled 'Dave' after her ex) takes a turn in tone, and Charlie does a lot of explaining what she has learnt -telling rather than showing.
Something that annoyed me (probably excessively) is that all sense of real place was stripped from this book. Charlie moves from 'her home town' to a city. Once of her friends then moved to another unnamed city, or at least presumably it's another city. Chalie was probably living in Sydney, and I noticed other reviewers make that presumption - there is a mention of a harbour. The lack of real place, when the author clearly knows where she is writing about felt quite distracting to me.
This would make a great bookclub book. It's not too heavy but raises interesting questions about friendship, family and love. Also, while I love the title I never worked out why this book is called that, so a book group might have some ideas.
Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Australia for the free DRC in exchange for an honest review.
This is the story of Charlie, who leaves her husband for (initially) unstated reasons and then has to discover what her life could be like and what she wants her life to be like. I really liked the first two parts, where she is wrestling with friendships, family and the death of her father 20 years ago. The final section (entitled 'Dave' after her ex) takes a turn in tone, and Charlie does a lot of explaining what she has learnt -telling rather than showing.
Something that annoyed me (probably excessively) is that all sense of real place was stripped from this book. Charlie moves from 'her home town' to a city. Once of her friends then moved to another unnamed city, or at least presumably it's another city. Chalie was probably living in Sydney, and I noticed other reviewers make that presumption - there is a mention of a harbour. The lack of real place, when the author clearly knows where she is writing about felt quite distracting to me.
This would make a great bookclub book. It's not too heavy but raises interesting questions about friendship, family and love. Also, while I love the title I never worked out why this book is called that, so a book group might have some ideas.
Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Australia for the free DRC in exchange for an honest review.
October 1, 2025
3.5 stars 🌟
I picked this book up after my local library hosted an author chat, and the title Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things made me expect a slightly different story than the one I got.
The novel captures the messy, drawn-out reality of divorce. Losing friends, hiding truths about an ex, and trying to rediscover yourself while the people around you move on. Her ex-husband’s friend’s group chat was unbearable (apart from Sean), and I kept wishing she’d cut them off sooner. At the same time, her best friend slipping away into motherhood and her sister’s growing family added another layer of loss. I really felt for her because missing a best friend is devastating, and it’s not selfish to grieve that.
I spent much of the book dying to know what her husband had done. When it’s finally revealed, it’s awful but a little anticlimactic, since she had already fallen out of love before then. To me, it felt like she was simply too young when she jumped into the relationship, and she eventually outgrew it.
The story did feel long and drawn out, but in a way that matched the emotional grind of moving on after divorce.
I picked this book up after my local library hosted an author chat, and the title Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things made me expect a slightly different story than the one I got.
The novel captures the messy, drawn-out reality of divorce. Losing friends, hiding truths about an ex, and trying to rediscover yourself while the people around you move on. Her ex-husband’s friend’s group chat was unbearable (apart from Sean), and I kept wishing she’d cut them off sooner. At the same time, her best friend slipping away into motherhood and her sister’s growing family added another layer of loss. I really felt for her because missing a best friend is devastating, and it’s not selfish to grieve that.
I spent much of the book dying to know what her husband had done. When it’s finally revealed, it’s awful but a little anticlimactic, since she had already fallen out of love before then. To me, it felt like she was simply too young when she jumped into the relationship, and she eventually outgrew it.
The story did feel long and drawn out, but in a way that matched the emotional grind of moving on after divorce.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 27, 2025
4.5 stars
Thank you so much to Penguin Australia for sending me a copy of this one. All thoughts are my own.
I LOVE how Jessica Seaborn writes characters. They feel so real and relatable to me even when I can’t actually relate at all. I can always put myself in their shoes, ponder how I’d feel too.
This book tackles loneliness in your 30s which—laughs nervously—welcome to my life. It hit home so many times in so many small, different ways. How difficult it is to make new friends as an adult, how hard it is to put the effort in to make those deeper connections, how scary it is to have no one physically close enough to reach for in a crisis. I felt all of it, every bit.
I loved Charlie’s journey over the course of this book. She goes through so much upheaval and has to learn how to be again, how to carve out a new place for herself separate from what she had before. I loved her slowly rearranging the pieces of her life, working out where she’d gone wrong, apologising for her mistakes, moving on.
A great sophomore book. I can’t wait to read more from this author.
Thank you so much to Penguin Australia for sending me a copy of this one. All thoughts are my own.
I LOVE how Jessica Seaborn writes characters. They feel so real and relatable to me even when I can’t actually relate at all. I can always put myself in their shoes, ponder how I’d feel too.
This book tackles loneliness in your 30s which—laughs nervously—welcome to my life. It hit home so many times in so many small, different ways. How difficult it is to make new friends as an adult, how hard it is to put the effort in to make those deeper connections, how scary it is to have no one physically close enough to reach for in a crisis. I felt all of it, every bit.
I loved Charlie’s journey over the course of this book. She goes through so much upheaval and has to learn how to be again, how to carve out a new place for herself separate from what she had before. I loved her slowly rearranging the pieces of her life, working out where she’d gone wrong, apologising for her mistakes, moving on.
A great sophomore book. I can’t wait to read more from this author.
August 9, 2025
firstly i want the record to state that the best characters were Graham and Naya as an eldest daughter/older sister, Naya was right sorry not sorry.
BUT ONTO THE ACTUAL REVIEW this book was absolutely immaculate at depicting female friendships in adulthood. i’m only in my early twenties i just graduated last year but even in uni and until now, maintaining friendships just feels different. worse for me becuase a lot of my best friends are actually in england where i studied for part of my degree, so communicating with them is always 10 times harder but honestly some people are just worth it. it’s funny how a lot of my best friends now i actually made from this little app and they all live on the other side of the world too lol.
i think charlie’s character was incredibly relatable especially as a friend, a lot of her emotions towards her friends i really felt for her. AS A SISTER HOWEVER 🤨🤨 her older sister naya absolutrly broke my heart becuase in a way i hope i know i woukd do the same things if i get put in those situations, and i really hope they don’t come true :( but also she was right in almost all the arguments🫡
this book is SO SO dolly alderton coded so definitely give it a read if you like stories girlhood and the best relationships with the women in your life💕
BUT ONTO THE ACTUAL REVIEW this book was absolutely immaculate at depicting female friendships in adulthood. i’m only in my early twenties i just graduated last year but even in uni and until now, maintaining friendships just feels different. worse for me becuase a lot of my best friends are actually in england where i studied for part of my degree, so communicating with them is always 10 times harder but honestly some people are just worth it. it’s funny how a lot of my best friends now i actually made from this little app and they all live on the other side of the world too lol.
i think charlie’s character was incredibly relatable especially as a friend, a lot of her emotions towards her friends i really felt for her. AS A SISTER HOWEVER 🤨🤨 her older sister naya absolutrly broke my heart becuase in a way i hope i know i woukd do the same things if i get put in those situations, and i really hope they don’t come true :( but also she was right in almost all the arguments🫡
this book is SO SO dolly alderton coded so definitely give it a read if you like stories girlhood and the best relationships with the women in your life💕
August 19, 2025
I don't think the title really matched the story, but I loved the story. The character development was top tier and the interpersonal relationships were written so insightfully. A+ for a novel about a single woman in her 30s with zero romance, and for a novel about divorce that didn't rely on rebound relationships to keep the narrative rolling.
I enjoyed every chapter of this fairly long book. Minor gripe: the characters kept squeezing each others' hands (I never do this but somehow everyone in this book did it all the time) and answering statements with "I'm sorry." (I would say both happened at least once a chapter and there were over 60 chapters.) Other than this the dialogue was pretty good, and the book was predominantly dialogue.
I think this is the best book I've ever read about modern life.
I enjoyed every chapter of this fairly long book. Minor gripe: the characters kept squeezing each others' hands (I never do this but somehow everyone in this book did it all the time) and answering statements with "I'm sorry." (I would say both happened at least once a chapter and there were over 60 chapters.) Other than this the dialogue was pretty good, and the book was predominantly dialogue.
I think this is the best book I've ever read about modern life.
November 19, 2025
I really liked Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things. I wasn’t quite sure what it was going to be when I picked it up, I just loved the title.
As someone who is divorced, this book really spoke to me. My ex had a lot of issues and when I left him, all our friends chose him. I really resonated with Charlie’s feelings when she was trying to talk with her friends and then realises they no longer want anything to do with her.
My ex (“what a snake”, as Charlie would say) ran straight to our “friends” when I left him and told them his side of the break-up, in which he insisted that I was the bad guy, the ruiner of lives, etc. I felt this same energy from Dave who has ruined Charlie’s life and been so checked out in their relationship that he’s not even aware she was unhappy.
Solid read overall and it was nice to read something so relatable.
As someone who is divorced, this book really spoke to me. My ex had a lot of issues and when I left him, all our friends chose him. I really resonated with Charlie’s feelings when she was trying to talk with her friends and then realises they no longer want anything to do with her.
My ex (“what a snake”, as Charlie would say) ran straight to our “friends” when I left him and told them his side of the break-up, in which he insisted that I was the bad guy, the ruiner of lives, etc. I felt this same energy from Dave who has ruined Charlie’s life and been so checked out in their relationship that he’s not even aware she was unhappy.
Solid read overall and it was nice to read something so relatable.
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