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How to Weep in Public: Feeble Offerings on Depression from One Who Knows
In her darkly funny memoir meets brother-in-arms guide to the depression life, comedian Jacqueline Novak provides the first and only book for depression sufferers -- short term visitors or lifers -- that promises not to offer any help overcoming depression...only comfort, company, and tips for life inside the grey fog.
Advice that ranges from practical (Chapter 17: Do Your Crying on a Cat) to philosophical (Chapter 21: Make Peace With Sunshine) punctuates a laugh-out-loud memoir tracing the depression thread from Novak's average suburban childhood to her current adult New York City existence, an imperfect but healthy-ish life in which Novak is mostly upright but still rarely does laundry.
At heart, How to Weep in Public provides a no-pressure, safe-zone for the reader to curl up inside. Keep this book on the shelf to be returned to it as needed – after all, depression is recurring. Jacqueline will be waiting to you tell you “You can fight another day.” No, not as in “fight on another day” but “fight this some other day.”
Whether you’re coping with the occasional down day, or thriving fully in Picasso’s blue period, How to Weep in Public is the perfect place to regroup during a dark stint. So sit back, relax, and let Jacqueline Novak show you how to navigate the shadowy corridors of your troubled mind or the cheese display at the supermarket when food is the only thing that can save you.
Advice that ranges from practical (Chapter 17: Do Your Crying on a Cat) to philosophical (Chapter 21: Make Peace With Sunshine) punctuates a laugh-out-loud memoir tracing the depression thread from Novak's average suburban childhood to her current adult New York City existence, an imperfect but healthy-ish life in which Novak is mostly upright but still rarely does laundry.
At heart, How to Weep in Public provides a no-pressure, safe-zone for the reader to curl up inside. Keep this book on the shelf to be returned to it as needed – after all, depression is recurring. Jacqueline will be waiting to you tell you “You can fight another day.” No, not as in “fight on another day” but “fight this some other day.”
Whether you’re coping with the occasional down day, or thriving fully in Picasso’s blue period, How to Weep in Public is the perfect place to regroup during a dark stint. So sit back, relax, and let Jacqueline Novak show you how to navigate the shadowy corridors of your troubled mind or the cheese display at the supermarket when food is the only thing that can save you.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published January 13, 2015
253 people are currently reading
3929 people want to read
About the author
Jacqueline Novak
2 books106 followersJACQUELINE NOVAK is a stand-up comic who has been featured at comedy festivals across the country, and was named a New Wave Woman by Pandora. Novak’s comedy album, Quality Notions, is available on iTunes. Novak lives in New York, NY.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews
March 18, 2016
At first I wasn't sure going into this book that I was liking it. It seemed too much for a comedic book about depression. I have read my fair share of them and they are great, but I needed to wade into the book to get a better idea of what was going on.
I have clinical depression, suicidal tendencies, ocd, panic disorder and agoraphobia, and those are just the mental issues. I get tired of people treating people with mental disorders like they are nothing, faking it.. blah blah. Walk in my shoes and then shut your mouth, but I can say I have some really sweet friends about it and some are right here on goodreads, we email and txt so it's all good.
In this book, the author was talking about things happening from birth that could have brought on your depression later on in life. I was like what? But then later on there were some things that I thought about all of my life. Funny that!
The author also talks some on anxiety and panic, which it seems all of these things lead from one to the other.
There are a lot of laughs in this book. I mean the author IS a comedian, but I digress. I think she had a funny way of putting things and that's a good thing.
--->EXCERPT<---
And my final piece of advice for creating safe spaces:
get yourself an easel and canvas and stick them inside your car. This will give you permission to pull over in all sorts of odd places. All you need to do is take our your equipment and set it up next to your car, and, of course, people will assume you're an artist.
At that point, you can do whatever you want, even sleep. If anyone questions you, just say you're waiting for the right light.
↑ that's crazy, but sounds like a good idea for those that can actually leave the house :-)
So I think if you have some mental issues and want to read a funny book with some good ideas, or just want to read a funny book with good ideas, I think you will like this book!
*I would like to thank Blogging For Books for a print copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.*
I have clinical depression, suicidal tendencies, ocd, panic disorder and agoraphobia, and those are just the mental issues. I get tired of people treating people with mental disorders like they are nothing, faking it.. blah blah. Walk in my shoes and then shut your mouth, but I can say I have some really sweet friends about it and some are right here on goodreads, we email and txt so it's all good.
In this book, the author was talking about things happening from birth that could have brought on your depression later on in life. I was like what? But then later on there were some things that I thought about all of my life. Funny that!
The author also talks some on anxiety and panic, which it seems all of these things lead from one to the other.
There are a lot of laughs in this book. I mean the author IS a comedian, but I digress. I think she had a funny way of putting things and that's a good thing.
--->EXCERPT<---
And my final piece of advice for creating safe spaces:
get yourself an easel and canvas and stick them inside your car. This will give you permission to pull over in all sorts of odd places. All you need to do is take our your equipment and set it up next to your car, and, of course, people will assume you're an artist.
At that point, you can do whatever you want, even sleep. If anyone questions you, just say you're waiting for the right light.
↑ that's crazy, but sounds like a good idea for those that can actually leave the house :-)
So I think if you have some mental issues and want to read a funny book with some good ideas, or just want to read a funny book with good ideas, I think you will like this book!
*I would like to thank Blogging For Books for a print copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.*
January 28, 2016
I liked Novak's concept for this book of making a parody of self help books. She creates a humorous book about how to best embrace your depression and the thralls of your listless sadness. However, she keeps playing for laughs and is so impersonal that this book gets old fast. I would rather hear more about Novak's actual life than lots of sarcastic superficial humor. (I reviewed this book for BUST and gave it three boobs).
January 25, 2022
Killer book by one of my favorite comedians about how to lean into your depression and give a big ole fuck you to the world around as best as possible. If you happen to find yourself in a city where her standup special, On Your Knees, is playing I can’t recommend highly enough. She has this Shakespearean ability to weave words together about things like blowjobs and I love that about her. This book’s climax similarly stunned me and I want to consume endless Jacqueline content. (See eg Poog podcast). Listened to the author read this herself so didn’t take many notes but particularly loved this phrasing: What is the mouth but an altitudinous vagina - Freud on having gum cancer and killing himself.
January 24, 2021
I had such high expectations coming in to my reading of this book that it could never have lived up. For context, I have a history of being floored by Jacqueline Novak. Her one-woman comedy show "Get on Your Knees" was the most brilliant comedy I've ever witnessed - I loved it so much I saw it twice during its run at the Lucille Clifton theater in Manhattan last year. She is highly observant and intelligent - she questions things we've all accepted and makes us question them too, doubled over with laughing recognition at how right she is. Her material and her delivery of it are inextricable - she brings a literary sensibility to her comedy, weaving wonderfully evocative sentences peppered with "SAT words" and avoiding cheap crassness - even as all the while she's describing blowjobs & musing on the ways in which we describe male anatomy, like how we call it "rock hard" when the soft appendage is closer to the fragility of a flower - blooming and shrinking. I was desperate for a recording to be released on a streaming service as a special, ready to shout from every rooftop for everyone I know to watch it. When COVID cancelled her tour, I got a sweatshirt AND a t-shirt commemorating the show to support her from afar. I've started listening to her podcast Poog. So when I finally embarked on her book, I was ready to be blown away again.
Sadly, I was not. There was plenty of good - as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety myself, I related to a lot of the small moments she describes, smiling in recognition. Her rough transition from high-achieving high school student to real world success, the advice that friends who are as or more depressed than you make you feel like a "real ace," how libraries & Starbucks are the perfect reentry point to the world for antisocial depressos, all mirrored my own experience. The way she describes self-sabotage, how you can have energy for certain entirely optional tasks you create for yourself but not for doing the bare minimum of the activities expected of you, how you trick yourself into thinking you're getting ready to leave for something by thinking about what you're wearing, what you need to do to get ready, instead of just getting ready and you end up being late, were all spot-on. It started strong. At some point though (I think after she moves home with her parents - Part 3 and 4), it started to feel like she was holding us at a distance - describing her low points but in a detached surface-level self-mocking way, never getting raw and real. The satire and sarcasm started to drown out the sincerity. I had just finished two other remarkable memoirs - Bess Kalb's and Chanel Miller's - that had managed to be original, funny, sad, relatable, and real. Based on Novak's previous work, I expected this to round out that trifecta. But the tight arc of the narrative that had you leaving her one-woman show smiling at the genius of it was absent here -it felt more like a collated series of observations, a stack of file folders of thoughts instead of a bound book. And then I was frequently looking at the chapter list to see how much longer I had before it was done - which is never a good sign.
Still - if I had this to listen to in the worst throes of my depression - also living at home as a young college graduate, also finding things exhausting that other people could do without issue, spending majority of day time in bed, I may have hugged it to my chest. She doesn't pretend to be better than you, the reader- or "better" from her depression, despite having written and published a book. It might have made me cry with relief, hearing that someone I admired, someone who is highly perceptive, who is also interested enough in the world around her that she picks up and inspects from all angles every idiosyncratic little thing about humanity, had fought through much worse depression than I. I don't think it'd have gotten me out of bed though - but that's not Novak's goal - she's offering to be in the bed wrapped in a blanket beside you. What did get me out of bed? an odd combination of reruns of Sex and the City (Carrie is dressing cute and doing her laundry; so shall I today) and the drama of the Ravens journey to the Superbowl that year- with Ray Lewis' motivational locker room speeches (not a Ravens fan, can't explain why watching them play got me to feel invested in anything again). As far as books about depression, this is the only one so far I'd consider recommending to a depressed friend. I once tried to read Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon which is wonderfully written but I had to give up because it was TOO painfully real - I was worried I would fall back into the abyss. I also read My Year of Rest and Relaxation and HATED it -found the main character utterly unsympathetic and unrelatable. I'd recommend listening to this over reading - as noted, Novak is a stand-up comedian, and her delivery is important to the tone of the book.
Sadly, I was not. There was plenty of good - as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety myself, I related to a lot of the small moments she describes, smiling in recognition. Her rough transition from high-achieving high school student to real world success, the advice that friends who are as or more depressed than you make you feel like a "real ace," how libraries & Starbucks are the perfect reentry point to the world for antisocial depressos, all mirrored my own experience. The way she describes self-sabotage, how you can have energy for certain entirely optional tasks you create for yourself but not for doing the bare minimum of the activities expected of you, how you trick yourself into thinking you're getting ready to leave for something by thinking about what you're wearing, what you need to do to get ready, instead of just getting ready and you end up being late, were all spot-on. It started strong. At some point though (I think after she moves home with her parents - Part 3 and 4), it started to feel like she was holding us at a distance - describing her low points but in a detached surface-level self-mocking way, never getting raw and real. The satire and sarcasm started to drown out the sincerity. I had just finished two other remarkable memoirs - Bess Kalb's and Chanel Miller's - that had managed to be original, funny, sad, relatable, and real. Based on Novak's previous work, I expected this to round out that trifecta. But the tight arc of the narrative that had you leaving her one-woman show smiling at the genius of it was absent here -it felt more like a collated series of observations, a stack of file folders of thoughts instead of a bound book. And then I was frequently looking at the chapter list to see how much longer I had before it was done - which is never a good sign.
Still - if I had this to listen to in the worst throes of my depression - also living at home as a young college graduate, also finding things exhausting that other people could do without issue, spending majority of day time in bed, I may have hugged it to my chest. She doesn't pretend to be better than you, the reader- or "better" from her depression, despite having written and published a book. It might have made me cry with relief, hearing that someone I admired, someone who is highly perceptive, who is also interested enough in the world around her that she picks up and inspects from all angles every idiosyncratic little thing about humanity, had fought through much worse depression than I. I don't think it'd have gotten me out of bed though - but that's not Novak's goal - she's offering to be in the bed wrapped in a blanket beside you. What did get me out of bed? an odd combination of reruns of Sex and the City (Carrie is dressing cute and doing her laundry; so shall I today) and the drama of the Ravens journey to the Superbowl that year- with Ray Lewis' motivational locker room speeches (not a Ravens fan, can't explain why watching them play got me to feel invested in anything again). As far as books about depression, this is the only one so far I'd consider recommending to a depressed friend. I once tried to read Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon which is wonderfully written but I had to give up because it was TOO painfully real - I was worried I would fall back into the abyss. I also read My Year of Rest and Relaxation and HATED it -found the main character utterly unsympathetic and unrelatable. I'd recommend listening to this over reading - as noted, Novak is a stand-up comedian, and her delivery is important to the tone of the book.
March 26, 2016
My husband bought me this after another weekend where I slumped around our house like a blob. A blob that cried a lot and said mean things about herself.
It was meant as a gift. And I am pretty grateful for it.
This book really hit home for me. I am a depresso. A high-functioning one, sometimes, as I have maintained a facade with my full-time job. But still a depresso through and through.
It was meant as a gift. And I am pretty grateful for it.
This book really hit home for me. I am a depresso. A high-functioning one, sometimes, as I have maintained a facade with my full-time job. But still a depresso through and through.
August 8, 2022
loved it! Eloise at the plaza style but for adult depression.
November 15, 2024
I’m a big fan of Novak’s podcast that she co-hosts with her friend Kate Berlant and have been listening for 2 years so I was already familiar with Jacqueline’s perspective and comedic voice. I approach Novak wanting to like her and wanting to have fun and it is always hit or miss for me.
I hate to be that person whose biggest gripe with a book is it’s lack of relatability but Novak’s unchecked privilege is just so apparent and off putting as a “depresso” myself and I find the repeated term “depresso” unnecessarily condescending. As someone who had depression as a child and an inflated sense of self, and as someone who is currently in the midst of one of their worst depressive episodes in early adulthood, I’m arguably the perfect person to read this book. However it is so clear that despite depression being a very real and profound illness and struggle, it is Novak’s primary (dare I say only) solid claim to struggle. Even when she essentially had a drug dependency in college, it’s not really framed as something she struggled with. We don’t even learn if or when she stopped smoking.
She is straight and cis gender with supportive and loving parents and from a vaguely affluent background. A vagueness that only people who grew up rich would think to not clarify because money or the concept of labor is elusive and a secondary or tertiary detail to them. I hate to put this all on a person I don’t know but, really? Your advice for depressed people who can barely work a full shift is to order delivery for all 3 meals every day? Girl, on whose dime? It is a fallacy that groceries are cheaper than delivery because sure groceries can be expensive but you can also get more than 1 or 2 meals out of them. Coming from a fellow depressive.
With regards to food, the story about the juice cleanse and the colon washing with the stomach pressing and this fetishization of having a flat stomach is horrifying. That is disordered eating and poor body image behavior that is presented completely unchecked and with no self awareness. And that’s the issue I have most with Jacqueline in general and this book; no self awareness. Her wisdoms and points of humor seem coincidental when it feels like there’s no real base.
Clearly Novak is educated and literate but makes no attempt to present any real analytical framework even for her understanding of life, depression, brain chemicals, or human behavior of which she speaks. I don’t even think Novak is under read but there’s a disconnect from materialism and Novak’s life wisdoms.
I would have rather enjoyed just a classic memoir about her life and maybe a through line with her experiences with depression. Stories about her life were the most interesting until there was a self important tone that overtook the novel to try and peddle some advice like “live in your childhood home” with no consideration that the root of depression could stem from a terrible childhood and bad relationship with parents.
Novak tried to avoid talking about her stand up career in this aside from one small mention but I would have actually loved to know how someone who once slept 28 hours straight and missed work, booked herself gigs. Drove long distances. Was Novak ever too tired to perform but did it out of obligation or did she sleep through that too? So much untapped and unanswered there.
An issue that I have with her 2024 special, I have here. She cares far too much about men and penises and heterosexual sex. Her takes on sex are awful and her perspective on sex workers is awful-er. I’m not sure what to do with my want to like her but my disdain for her overwhelming heterosexual attitude towards sex. Null of pleasure and so often presented as transactional.
I read this book. Good thing, bad thing. Who knows.
I hate to be that person whose biggest gripe with a book is it’s lack of relatability but Novak’s unchecked privilege is just so apparent and off putting as a “depresso” myself and I find the repeated term “depresso” unnecessarily condescending. As someone who had depression as a child and an inflated sense of self, and as someone who is currently in the midst of one of their worst depressive episodes in early adulthood, I’m arguably the perfect person to read this book. However it is so clear that despite depression being a very real and profound illness and struggle, it is Novak’s primary (dare I say only) solid claim to struggle. Even when she essentially had a drug dependency in college, it’s not really framed as something she struggled with. We don’t even learn if or when she stopped smoking.
She is straight and cis gender with supportive and loving parents and from a vaguely affluent background. A vagueness that only people who grew up rich would think to not clarify because money or the concept of labor is elusive and a secondary or tertiary detail to them. I hate to put this all on a person I don’t know but, really? Your advice for depressed people who can barely work a full shift is to order delivery for all 3 meals every day? Girl, on whose dime? It is a fallacy that groceries are cheaper than delivery because sure groceries can be expensive but you can also get more than 1 or 2 meals out of them. Coming from a fellow depressive.
With regards to food, the story about the juice cleanse and the colon washing with the stomach pressing and this fetishization of having a flat stomach is horrifying. That is disordered eating and poor body image behavior that is presented completely unchecked and with no self awareness. And that’s the issue I have most with Jacqueline in general and this book; no self awareness. Her wisdoms and points of humor seem coincidental when it feels like there’s no real base.
Clearly Novak is educated and literate but makes no attempt to present any real analytical framework even for her understanding of life, depression, brain chemicals, or human behavior of which she speaks. I don’t even think Novak is under read but there’s a disconnect from materialism and Novak’s life wisdoms.
I would have rather enjoyed just a classic memoir about her life and maybe a through line with her experiences with depression. Stories about her life were the most interesting until there was a self important tone that overtook the novel to try and peddle some advice like “live in your childhood home” with no consideration that the root of depression could stem from a terrible childhood and bad relationship with parents.
Novak tried to avoid talking about her stand up career in this aside from one small mention but I would have actually loved to know how someone who once slept 28 hours straight and missed work, booked herself gigs. Drove long distances. Was Novak ever too tired to perform but did it out of obligation or did she sleep through that too? So much untapped and unanswered there.
An issue that I have with her 2024 special, I have here. She cares far too much about men and penises and heterosexual sex. Her takes on sex are awful and her perspective on sex workers is awful-er. I’m not sure what to do with my want to like her but my disdain for her overwhelming heterosexual attitude towards sex. Null of pleasure and so often presented as transactional.
I read this book. Good thing, bad thing. Who knows.
March 6, 2018
Once again, I find myself with much to say about a book I didn't like...I hope one day I'll have something to say about books I DO like. (But, haha, as a depressed person, I tell myself “you can't talk about this book you liked as eloquently as everyone else already has”...but I digress)
I've written about my own mental health struggles before and came across this book when I was searching for more writing inspiration. Unfortunately, nothing about this book feels honest. It's supposed to be funny, but I didn't laugh once. (And depression IS often very funny! I have to laugh at some of my own absurd depressive habits I've developed over the years.) The writing style is far too stream-of-consciousness and the author can't seem to focus on one idea for a whole chapter. Furthermore, much of the humour is so dark and inappropriate that I can't help but feel like it's dangerous for someone with depression to read, even if it is meant to be a parody of self-help books. The whole thing just comes across as very contrived. Jenny Lawson's “Furiously Happy” and Allie Brosh's “Hyperbole and a Half” are much better examples of what I feel this book is trying to achieve. Try those instead if you're looking for stories about depression with a humorous approach.
I've written about my own mental health struggles before and came across this book when I was searching for more writing inspiration. Unfortunately, nothing about this book feels honest. It's supposed to be funny, but I didn't laugh once. (And depression IS often very funny! I have to laugh at some of my own absurd depressive habits I've developed over the years.) The writing style is far too stream-of-consciousness and the author can't seem to focus on one idea for a whole chapter. Furthermore, much of the humour is so dark and inappropriate that I can't help but feel like it's dangerous for someone with depression to read, even if it is meant to be a parody of self-help books. The whole thing just comes across as very contrived. Jenny Lawson's “Furiously Happy” and Allie Brosh's “Hyperbole and a Half” are much better examples of what I feel this book is trying to achieve. Try those instead if you're looking for stories about depression with a humorous approach.
July 21, 2024
“But this is what it means to be genuine with yourself and others. It’s accepting your depression and living with yourself where you are, not where you want to be. It means knowing the limits of your ability to behave in the way that the rest of the world does.”
I happened upon this book after watching the author’s stand-up comedy special, Jacqueline Novak: Get on Your Knees. For the hour and change it was on, I was glued to the television. The stories she told, her energy, and the way she expressed herself were the total package. Instant relatability. I had high hopes it would be the same with her writing, but that was not the case.
This memoir is like a spoof on self-help books mixed with a private journal. It is the author giving her tips and tricks on how to live with depression, but not really. It is more like her taking the dark bits of it, and bringing light to them via her brand of dark humor. Whatever it is and/or it is trying to be, did not land. There were brief flashes of something more, but those flashes were not enough. It needed to have a better flow, and more focus on a thing versus all of the things.
Would I recommend the book? No.
Would I recommend the comedy special? Hell yes.
I happened upon this book after watching the author’s stand-up comedy special, Jacqueline Novak: Get on Your Knees. For the hour and change it was on, I was glued to the television. The stories she told, her energy, and the way she expressed herself were the total package. Instant relatability. I had high hopes it would be the same with her writing, but that was not the case.
This memoir is like a spoof on self-help books mixed with a private journal. It is the author giving her tips and tricks on how to live with depression, but not really. It is more like her taking the dark bits of it, and bringing light to them via her brand of dark humor. Whatever it is and/or it is trying to be, did not land. There were brief flashes of something more, but those flashes were not enough. It needed to have a better flow, and more focus on a thing versus all of the things.
Would I recommend the book? No.
Would I recommend the comedy special? Hell yes.
November 27, 2023
"Because this book gave you nothing, it is the book that keeps on giving. It will never stop giving you nothing."
Less than 300 pages long, and yet the reading experience felt endless. Very much in the vein of the many pointless books written in the mid-2010's that felt designed specifically for an Urban Outfitters table display. Probably should have read on audiobook, since Jacqueline Novak's comedy is so specific to her spoken cadence and tone.
The expectations are clear from the get go, so my disappointment is my own fault. Still, I wish the humor had translated for me and that we'd gotten 100% more insight into Jacqueline's actual lived experiences.
Will be sticking to Poog.
P.S. Britton, this review is dedicated to you, boo 😘
Less than 300 pages long, and yet the reading experience felt endless. Very much in the vein of the many pointless books written in the mid-2010's that felt designed specifically for an Urban Outfitters table display. Probably should have read on audiobook, since Jacqueline Novak's comedy is so specific to her spoken cadence and tone.
The expectations are clear from the get go, so my disappointment is my own fault. Still, I wish the humor had translated for me and that we'd gotten 100% more insight into Jacqueline's actual lived experiences.
Will be sticking to Poog.
P.S. Britton, this review is dedicated to you, boo 😘
May 7, 2022
Very funny and had me laughing out loud.
- Reviewed by Eric M.
- Reviewed by Eric M.
January 21, 2024
I love Jacqueline’s brain. It felt very pertinent to be reading this after just having moved back in with my parents in my mid twenties.
March 1, 2016
I received a copy of this book through bloggingforbooks.com in exchange for an honest review.
"Truthfully, with your feed blistering and boots wet, you are not in a place to combat your mood anyway."
This book is a sort of how-to guide of getting the most (awful things) out of your depression. It has anecdotes from the author on why this (bad) advice works and how struggling with depression is different for each person.
What I enjoyed is how witty and honest this book is. There's a whole chapter on being genuine that I enjoyed that talks about turning anger outward if anger is the only true feeling that you have. Some of the advice is a bit too silly for me (the humor is a bit too self deprecating at times for my taste) but I think the book talks a lot about the things someone can feel (or not feel) with depression.
Some of the advice is real but most of it isn't. The author talks about everything from medication to sex in terms of healing. The openness and it-doesn't-matter-what-other-people-think vibe of this book are really what make it a solid 3.5 stars.
Good for some laughs and short enough it doesn't get too heavy.
"Truthfully, with your feed blistering and boots wet, you are not in a place to combat your mood anyway."
This book is a sort of how-to guide of getting the most (awful things) out of your depression. It has anecdotes from the author on why this (bad) advice works and how struggling with depression is different for each person.
What I enjoyed is how witty and honest this book is. There's a whole chapter on being genuine that I enjoyed that talks about turning anger outward if anger is the only true feeling that you have. Some of the advice is a bit too silly for me (the humor is a bit too self deprecating at times for my taste) but I think the book talks a lot about the things someone can feel (or not feel) with depression.
Some of the advice is real but most of it isn't. The author talks about everything from medication to sex in terms of healing. The openness and it-doesn't-matter-what-other-people-think vibe of this book are really what make it a solid 3.5 stars.
Good for some laughs and short enough it doesn't get too heavy.
January 26, 2024
"...for creating safe spaces: get yourself an easel and canvas and stick them inside your car. This will give you permission to pull over in all sorts of odd places. All you need to do is take out your equipment and set it up next to your car, and of course, people will assume you're an artist.
"At that point, you can do whatever you want, even sleep. If anyone questions you, just say you're waiting for the right light" (178).
"At that point, you can do whatever you want, even sleep. If anyone questions you, just say you're waiting for the right light" (178).
Read
December 3, 2019Despite the author’s vehement denial of her book being self help, I found this to be actually quite helpful. Excited to see her stand up show in NYC next month.
May 24, 2023
This year, I'm not finishing books if I'm not enjoying them.
September 23, 2024
i think the how-to bit got tired but as always it feels weird to rate someone’s interpretation of depression
September 14, 2024
wish I had read this years ago, but I was too depressed. life’s great ironies
October 25, 2016
Okay, I read a few reviews about this in a few different magazines and I was intrigued. I was hoping to find a book that would be accessible to my clients (I'm a therapist) who suffer from depression. However, I was a bit put off as this is satire and dark humor all the way. For someone who is truly and deeply troubled, I can't help but wonder if this would take them even closer to the edge. It is basically a book by a "depresso," as she calls herself, poking fun at herself and giving tips on how to stay depressed. So, it's cute and funny, but also not. So, I'm not sure who this is for - someone who is not depressed to make fun of those who are? Those who are depressed to poke fun at themselves (which who wants that?) or those who have been in a depression and now have come out the other side (most likely this has got to be the one). There were times that this was funny and clever and incredibly "oh man, I can't believe she wrote that" but overall, I just found it kind of sad.
April 6, 2016
I suffer from anxiety and depression, among other things and I love to read books that have a humorous take on these subjects. I thought the author did an amazing job putting a humorous spin on depression. The stories included were definitely an added bonus. Overall I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to others who suffer from depression.
(I received a copy from BloggingForBooks.com in exchange for an honest review)
(I received a copy from BloggingForBooks.com in exchange for an honest review)
January 26, 2022
I’m my eyes, Jacqueline Novak can do no wrong. So naturally I loved this and will give anything she does 5 stars. I appreciated the dialogue around depression outside of how to fix it. It’s refreshing to read something that normalizes something so many people go through and even makes it kinda funny. Listening to how Jacqueline’s experience with depression is still ongoing and likely will be for her entire life is the kind of approach I would like to see more “self-help” books take
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June 16, 2016Novak has the goods!
October 13, 2021
Jaqueline Novak's "How to Weep in Public" is a sort of paradox humoristic depression self-help book in the form of an autobiography. It is a kind of ironic step-by-step guide on how to be depressed at different life stages, based on the authors life. A "look at my life and the steps I took and genetic material I bring to the table that explain my unhappiness...haha"
For that kind of book to really add value, it needs to do a combination of three things; the jokes must land, the autobiographical part needs to be captivating, the depression passages need to provide some insights about depression. It doesn't need all three aspects, but at least one or two.
Unfortunately, the book fails at every single one of those three things. You will not learn anything new about depression. The autobiographical part tends to be excruciatingly boring. The humoristic part is all over the place, but never funny. Just take this segment about Sigmund Freud's assisted suicide as an example:
"He'd no doubt interpret other people's self-destructive behaviour as subconscious suicide, so I think his actual one deserves the title. At the very least, let's give him a taste of his own medicine and suggest that he brought about his own oral cancer as an expression of his vaginal hatred. (What is the mouth but a roomy, higher altitudinous vagina?)"
The book desperately tries to be something like Paul Watzlavik's "The Situation is Hopeless, but not Serious" (german title: Anleitung zum Unglücklichsein), The Situation Is Hopeless But Not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness, but fails miserably every step of the way.
For that kind of book to really add value, it needs to do a combination of three things; the jokes must land, the autobiographical part needs to be captivating, the depression passages need to provide some insights about depression. It doesn't need all three aspects, but at least one or two.
Unfortunately, the book fails at every single one of those three things. You will not learn anything new about depression. The autobiographical part tends to be excruciatingly boring. The humoristic part is all over the place, but never funny. Just take this segment about Sigmund Freud's assisted suicide as an example:
"He'd no doubt interpret other people's self-destructive behaviour as subconscious suicide, so I think his actual one deserves the title. At the very least, let's give him a taste of his own medicine and suggest that he brought about his own oral cancer as an expression of his vaginal hatred. (What is the mouth but a roomy, higher altitudinous vagina?)"
The book desperately tries to be something like Paul Watzlavik's "The Situation is Hopeless, but not Serious" (german title: Anleitung zum Unglücklichsein), The Situation Is Hopeless But Not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness, but fails miserably every step of the way.
January 15, 2020
Very funny. A look at depression by someone who's obviously been there. I especially enjoyed the chapter about colonics. Since I live in a woodsy corner of a flyover state, it's hard to find a good hose-wielding pooper cleaner 'round these parts. But wouldn't you know it, one showed up in a little tourist trap town about an hour away. Unfortunately, he was also a meth manufacturer who died in a shootout with the FBI and his business, complete with wall-sized murals of the many types of poop in various depressed poop chutes, burned up along with a good-sized chunk of the town. So I never got to avail myself of his services. Which may have something to do with my own depression. Which may explain why I liked this book so much.
May 30, 2017
Novak has a way of encapsulating the depressed mine and subverting the many preconceived notions we have about being depressed.
My favorite section is when she talks about people who try to leave depression go to Starbucks to give the illusion of being with people. I often find myself at Starbucks, but if anyone disturbs me I will be very upset at the social interaction.
I highly recommend this to anyone who is depressed, knows someone who is working through depression, or really anyone in need of a great laugh.
My favorite section is when she talks about people who try to leave depression go to Starbucks to give the illusion of being with people. I often find myself at Starbucks, but if anyone disturbs me I will be very upset at the social interaction.
I highly recommend this to anyone who is depressed, knows someone who is working through depression, or really anyone in need of a great laugh.
June 4, 2017
A different way to approach depression that's entertaining and oddly realistic. Yes, Novak says, it's okay to spend days in bed feeling like a piece of garbage. It's okay to doubt if your medication works at all. You'll inevitably feel like shunning all forms of human interaction and that's normal. But each little step you take to feel better is monumental too. I loved the way Novak approached this book as a kind of satire on self-help books and, dare I say it, it made me feel a little better? But, thanks to Novak's disclaimer, I do not hold her liable for that fact.
March 15, 2023
I think I’d give this a 2.5 overall. I love Jacqueline and her podcast, so I wanted to give her book a read. She’s a great writer and her notions are top tier, I just didn’t relate to the subject matter enough for it to resonate with me. That being said, I still got something out of it - mainly that the way we view things is entirely up to us and ‘should’ is a fallacy.
February 27, 2024
I spent the next eight hours, trying to make him fall in love with me. But he, like a few key crushes, before him was unable to see past my desperation. People have such an unfair prejudice against the violently clingy lover. Just because my love is bleeding out of every orifice doesn’t mean I’m not worth loving.
March 1, 2017
This is a pretty funny and well-written book with an expansive vocabulary and arresting images. As a lifetime card-carrying depresso and obsesso, I am familiar with several of the strategies for coping with the big D. The one that hit right where I live is the advice that when you are so depressed you can hardly read anything, read true crime. It's always worked for me: an instant immersion into a story that has nothing to do with your own problems, but is desperately and intensely engaging, forcing you to take your attention away from your own problems. By the time you're finished, you have often forgotten your own problems, or at least they don't seem so deathly serious as someone else getting murdered and stuffed into the crawl space.
I was amazed to a degree with the author's description of how to handle your worst moments: stay at home, stay in your room or in your bed, have a hotplate so you can cook tomato sauce and then drink it straight from the container. Order all your meals in. Never wash your clothes, just buy new ones when the old ones wear out. I've never been reduced to crying in public, and how to do it so your mascara doesn't run or by holding a napkin up to your cheek in a restaurant to catch quick tears without having them run down your face. I've also never walked around naked in the house because I'm not expecting visitors (although I WAS able to scare away two Jehovah's Witnesses in my underwear by telling them I wasn't dressed; shortest JW visit ever; highly recommend as a strategy).
The book says it can be a continuous resource for us depressos, which for me was truest in the sense that I've never been nearly as depressed as the author, and reading it made me feel like a comparatively non-depressed person. I am in awe of her being able to get up on the stage as a standup comedian, because that's far beyond anything I could ever do when scraping the bottom.
It's a highly cynical and therefore hilarious book, keenly perceptive of dreadful social situations and full of tips on how to neatly extricate yourself from them.
I'd recommend it highly to any depressed person--or perhaps as a gift to totally cheerful, exuberant acquaintances so they can see what hell we go through (in the words of Dorothy Parker, "What fresh hell is this?") and quit telling us to "buck up," or saying, "What do you have to be depressed about?" It's a medical condition, you naïve smileys, rather than a bad choice or a disappointing day.
I loved this book!
I was amazed to a degree with the author's description of how to handle your worst moments: stay at home, stay in your room or in your bed, have a hotplate so you can cook tomato sauce and then drink it straight from the container. Order all your meals in. Never wash your clothes, just buy new ones when the old ones wear out. I've never been reduced to crying in public, and how to do it so your mascara doesn't run or by holding a napkin up to your cheek in a restaurant to catch quick tears without having them run down your face. I've also never walked around naked in the house because I'm not expecting visitors (although I WAS able to scare away two Jehovah's Witnesses in my underwear by telling them I wasn't dressed; shortest JW visit ever; highly recommend as a strategy).
The book says it can be a continuous resource for us depressos, which for me was truest in the sense that I've never been nearly as depressed as the author, and reading it made me feel like a comparatively non-depressed person. I am in awe of her being able to get up on the stage as a standup comedian, because that's far beyond anything I could ever do when scraping the bottom.
It's a highly cynical and therefore hilarious book, keenly perceptive of dreadful social situations and full of tips on how to neatly extricate yourself from them.
I'd recommend it highly to any depressed person--or perhaps as a gift to totally cheerful, exuberant acquaintances so they can see what hell we go through (in the words of Dorothy Parker, "What fresh hell is this?") and quit telling us to "buck up," or saying, "What do you have to be depressed about?" It's a medical condition, you naïve smileys, rather than a bad choice or a disappointing day.
I loved this book!
March 9, 2021
i love jacqueline more than any celeb in this world but this fell flat and every chapter felt the same :( like it was all the same saracastic joke over and over and its not her fault but the white russian after master cleanse story has come up IN EVERY PIECE OF MEDIA SHES EVER DONE. i still am a fullblown nov-head tho. just didnt love this book
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