Gulabi, of the village of Gayab, is twenty two and a half years old and not at all eager to marry the assortment of potential bridegrooms paraded before her. So, with hard-won permission from her parents, she earns herself six months’ respite in which to find a man for herself—by coming to Mumbai, fourteen suitcases in tow. The big bad city, where Gulabi finds herself trying desperately to win over her Bemba (for those not in the know—like me—‘Engineer’+ ‘MBA’) landlord with brinjal fry. When the brinjal fry yields no returns, Gulabi (helped by her friend, the Bemba’s other tenant, Tanya) goes to a dodgy astrologer. A man who offloads on her various charms, from roses and candles to a parrot named Richandfamous, to some advice: buy a pumpkin and kiss it.
Sadly, Gulabi’s pumpkin gets accidentally switched in a busy marketplace, and what Gulabi brings back home, wrapped in a plastic bag, is not a pumpkin but a head. A human head, and one Gulabi has no clue about. But she’s a good girl, so she takes it upon herself to find out whose head this is, and to take revenge on behalf of the headless one.
Much of which, of course, sounds more macabre than anything else. But Jane De Suza’s Super Spy Gulabi, her butchering of the Queen’s English, her antics, her dress sense, her unwavering resolve to win her Bemba—are a laugh riot through and through. I didn’t find the ‘detective’ work in this book exceptional, but what makes it stand out is the humour, which is completely whacky and OTT. Sample this:
No, Miss Tanya cannot cook. She cannot stitch. She cannot knit. She cannot knead. I am sure she cannot pull milk from cow. But she can tell mans to go make babies by himself in seventeen different languages. She is teaching me.
No knowledge is wasted.
Just cut n’ pasted.
… or perhaps she was born as a set of triplets, the other two separated from her at birth and waiting in some hospital’s blood donation unit to re-unite with her.
Yes, funny. Gulabi’s English perhaps gets just too tedious at times, but the situations are hilarious, and de Suza’s writing is a hoot. Plus, I loved the fact that while this is total farce, Gulabi is still a heroine, not an utterly brainless buffoon: she’s sassy, sensitive, quick-witted, and she can hold her own against the villains or make a daring escape, even if she ends up on top of a secretary named Eeeks.
Do read. Not if you’re looking for the thriller of the year, but if you want a good laugh. This is it. I do hope de Suza carries this series forward—I want to see Gulabi go places. Even if all she’s doing is solving the case of the missing earthworms.