Searching for Slippers: one mom's coming of age story

by Stacy Ross

Fairytales can be rewritten.

When you are constantly holding your breath every time the phone rings, when you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, when you are continually walking on eggshells... you can't help but crave for a lighter time and want for the fairytale.

In Searching for Slippers, Stacy Ross tells her story as a parent of a child with Borderline Personality Disorder. With a raw honesty rarely found in parents of children with mental illness, Stacy takes readers on a roller coaster ride of emotions and experiences on her journey to acceptance. Through it all, she has her own coming of age discovering that a life unplanned for was exactly what she needed to emerge a lighter yet stronger version of herself.

232 pages, Paperback

Published May 6, 2025

Reviews

[Briana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stacy joined our book club at BookTowne and it truly was an unforgettable experience. What a genuine and eloquent speaker, sharing a very brave personal story. I highly recommend reading this book! 📕

[Patrick Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book with a suspenseful plot that will tempt you to read it fast to find out how it's resolved, but you won't because the you will find the journey of reading it so enjoyable. The writing style draws you as if you were part of the family and you can really feel the author's raw emotions. Anyone who has been a parent will recognize the dilemmas of raising a child. How do I balance what I need with what my child needs? Did I do the right thing? Should it be this hard? When your child has a mental illness, the stakes are higher and the questions and self-doubt more poignant. The author does a wonderful job of making the reader laugh, feel happy, worry, and feel her angst as the story unfolds. Some of the author's confessions will both blow you away, and yet be reasonable, at the same time. This ends up being an uplifting story despite the setbacks and remarkable events. It is coming of age of both a mother and a child and a deep look at each's humanity.

[Sondra Nussbaum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed and I cried. What a wonderfully honest and thoughtful look at the challenges a mother faces raising a child with mental health concerns. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Rick B Buttafogo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: I would not have randomly picked up this book to read, but it was our book club pick for August AND the author, Stacy Ross, was going to be with us. I didn't have time to read it for our club, but attended because I wanted to hear her speak. I was immediately pulled in. Her story is simply unbelievable. If she wasn't there to speak of it first hand, you never would have thought it was real. Sadly...it is very real. She has totally redefined what it is to be a mother. If you think your plate is full (and it may be), then when you read this book, you will know what a full plate is. Stacy is the mom of a child with Borderline Personality Disorder. In addition, she has two other children, Leo and Emily (twins). When you have a child with special needs (putting it lightly), there is no question that child will require all of your energy most days. To raise that child, then have two more..I still don't know how she did it (does it). Drs, therapists, teachers, medicine, the day to day uncertainty, yet she persevered. The endless abuse from a child that could not help themselves, yet her commitment to mother Molly never faltered. Some parents would think their child ungrateful, and throw them out of the house. Stacy stayed the course while hearing her child say some of the cruelest things imaginable to her. Stacy shares her experiences with therapists that helped and those that abandoned her and her family. She speaks about the schools that helped, and the school districts that turned their backs on her just whent hey were most needed. The impacts on the entire family are numerous and they are shared within this memoir. If anyone reading this is from NJ (Monmouth County specifically which is where I am from), you will be shocked to hear how some of our most prestigious towns and their schools treated her and her child. It's a hard book to read. It is deeply heartbreaking but yet at the same time...it gives you an entirely new perspective on what it takes to be a mother. I have no children yet I sadly believe I would not have been able to do what Stacy did or continues to do as there is no cure for BPD. Make no mistake, Stacy and her family are of a very privileged means with her husband being a surgeon, allowing them to do what many are not able to. She is very aware of that yet it didn't give her the "fairy tale" life she always expected. Instead she got the life she got and has done the best she could do with all that has come her way. The book is 5 stars. It's short but intense. It's raw and a beautiful tribute to her child. Highly recommend it, and can't thank Stacy enough for sharing her story with us.

[Linda Goodman · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the moment they are born, we create stories about our children. We watch with joy when they hit their milestones. We write page after page about them in our “books”. They’re never perfect: there’s colic, strep throats, sibling rivalry, no friends, bullying. But there’s also that first step, first word. And babbling. One of my personal favorites. But sometimes, as we’re writing their stories, we’re shocked as we turn the page. How did they change? When did they change? We’re the parent. How could we not know everything about our children? And how can we help them?

Stacy’s story, told from her heart, is the story of a mother’s journey as she watches her eldest child descend into the world of Borderline Personality Disorder. With all her strength, Stacy tries to save her child and her family from this descent. “ Slippers” is the story of a mother’s attempt to control what has become an intolerable world for their family. As parents, we learn there is a point where we no longer have that control, and we need to let go of our children so they can fly. Or crash. Stacy maintains her quest for two decades as her BPD child gets older and needs to navigates the world on her own. Stacy is an optimist, but years of dealing with this mental illness takes its toll. Yet she continues her uphill ascent to help Molly/Fin be all that he can be. At the same time, her journey is one of letting go. Learning to live her life fully and bask in those glorious moments, finding those warm, comfy slippers that allow her to find peace within chaos.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s very possible I’ve heard every story before. I was lucky enough to have met Stacy when we were college freshmen, and we have told and retold our stories to each other endlessly over (the many) years. But reading Stacy’s retelling now is an entirely different experience. I am in awe of the raw honesty she pours onto the pages – allowing the world to see the not so pretty parts is not something girls (and now women) like us were ever very good at. My heart ached as I read it, hearing her voice in my head, and understanding so much more deeply all their family has weathered. At the same time, my heart burst with love and pride for my best friend whose intelligence, humor, compassion and tenacity created a life where her children, husband and friends all feel seen, heard and deeply cherished. I know Stacy’s bravery in revealing the behind-the-scenes reality of dealing daily with the chaos of a child with mental illness will resonate with so many, and let them know they are not alone.

[Lori Lopez · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a supporter of mental health education, i attended a talk with Stacy Ross & received the book Searching for Slippers. I had never met Stacy before. Her candor, honesty, & writing is so engaging. I do not have personal experience with mental illness of this nature but this book resonates on SO many levels as a parent. It accurately describes the highs, lows, fears & joys of raising a child; compounded with the challenges of mental illness shows how resilient, strong & vulnerable we can all be. Truly a read for anyone who wants to build on their own skills of empathy, compassion & open mindedness. The more we know the more we can become. Thank you!

[Carla Gabris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a fabulous read. I woke up every morning looking forward with anticipation to read about Stacy's journey as she navigated the complications of a loved one’s mental illness. As a psychologist, it was particularly elucidating to experience a first hand account of what parents experience both internally and within school and mental health systems. Stacy's voice as a devoted mother, tenacious in her pursuit to find the best care for her child while also maintaining self - love comes through loud and clear. I highly recommend this book for any parent , mental health professional or person on their own journey.
Carla Gabris, PhD

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had Stacy on my podcast a few months ago to talk about her process writing this book and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. After just finishing it, I am amazed at her openness and all she shared in this beautiful memoir. It's wonderfully written and honest. I just know so many people will be able to relate to Stacy's story. This book was such a lovely read from an amazing woman and author. Highly recommend it!

[Jill Stolz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautifully written story drew me in from page one. As a mom of an adult child who has struggled with serious mental health issues for over a decade, I could relate to the author’s emotional rollercoaster, coping mechanisms, and raw honesty in telling her story. I hope the word spreads about this wonderful book that sheds light on how mental illness affects a whole family. I highly recommend it!

[Adena Artale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I flew through these pages. As having someone in my life that has an undiagnosed mental illness, Stacy’s honesty in sharing her story felt like a hand holding mine.

This book was a raw, real and beautiful glimpse into raising a child with borderline personality disorder. Her vivid recollection of details and events made it very easy to put myself in that place and empathize for the entire family, including her child. Kudos.

[Sharon Kurtzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently finished this beautiful, page-turning memoir by Stacy Ross. This book gripped me right from its opening pages! I couldn’t put this book down. This honest story about a mother’s journey with a child grappling with mental illness is told straight from the heart. To say I highly recommend it is an understatement! This is a very special book that will stay with me long after I finished the last page.

[Gail Baer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very raw, honest, heartfelt memoir about a family’s struggle through their daughter’s serious mental illness. The bravery of this family is simply humbling. Also a huge perspective smack on the healthcare system in the United States. I will be thinking about this book for a long time.

[Judy Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazingly written book! You feel like you’re part of the story. Couldn’t put it down!! A must read!!

[malinda Mountzouris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just loved everything about this book. It is a mother’s story and there was so much love and sadness in the book. It was an easy read but so powerful. Highly recommend!

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was brave, insightful and eye opening. Stacy Ross doesn’t hold back in sharing what life was like for her as she was raising a child with a mental illness. With brutal honesty, she opens up her world, and I found myself in awe of her strength, clear thinking and desire to make things right for her child. Needless to say, things didn’t always go as she hoped but she doesn’t give up and I learned so much about facing each day with courage and strength.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

No words truly express how important this book is for all moms to read. It was an honor to read Stacy's book.

[Lisa Sussman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stacey gives us an honest window into what her life is like raising a child with mental illness. I couldn't put it down! She shares it all. Searching for Slippers beautifully written and compelling. It also is a much needed invitation for struggling parents to shed the stigma, connect and engage in conversations and break barriers of shame and isolation.