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You Might Feel a Little Pressure: Finding Wonder After Miscarriage
"Mary Adkins has done the written an unflinching memoir about loss that shimmers with life.”
—Greg Marshall, author of Leg
When Mary Adkins became pregnant with her second kid at thirty-nine, she was thrilled. Instead of a smooth pregnancy, she’d lose three pregnancies over nine months, a journey that would lead her to question more than just her fertility. Having long believed that hard work equals success, she found herself facing an ideological If sheer effort couldn't produce her greatest want— another baby—where did she go from here? And if she couldn't control this, what else was out of her control?
Honest, insightful, and even funny, You Might Feel a Little Pressure explores how an unfulfilled dream can change what we think we know and grief can lead to places brighter than we imagined.
“Mary Adkins pulls a stunning kind of hat trick with this memoir. One of the most hopeful and life-affirming stories about loss I have ever read, I inhaled every page as though it were oxygen. I will never forget the way reading it made me expansive, unafraid, surprisingly whole and human. What a gift.” —Simone Gorrindo, author of The Wives
“In this frank account of pregnancy loss and infertility, Mary Adkins gives us an intimate view into more than just reproduction. Weaving together threads on body image, achievement, and life purpose, You Might Feel a Little Pressure becomes a portrait of what it’s like to be a woman in today’s society. It is at once personal and universal, shocking and comforting—Adkins will not only hold up a mirror to your own life but hold your hand through it.” —Jessica Zucker, PhD, psychologist, & author of I Had a Miscarriage and Normalize It
—Greg Marshall, author of Leg
When Mary Adkins became pregnant with her second kid at thirty-nine, she was thrilled. Instead of a smooth pregnancy, she’d lose three pregnancies over nine months, a journey that would lead her to question more than just her fertility. Having long believed that hard work equals success, she found herself facing an ideological If sheer effort couldn't produce her greatest want— another baby—where did she go from here? And if she couldn't control this, what else was out of her control?
Honest, insightful, and even funny, You Might Feel a Little Pressure explores how an unfulfilled dream can change what we think we know and grief can lead to places brighter than we imagined.
“Mary Adkins pulls a stunning kind of hat trick with this memoir. One of the most hopeful and life-affirming stories about loss I have ever read, I inhaled every page as though it were oxygen. I will never forget the way reading it made me expansive, unafraid, surprisingly whole and human. What a gift.” —Simone Gorrindo, author of The Wives
“In this frank account of pregnancy loss and infertility, Mary Adkins gives us an intimate view into more than just reproduction. Weaving together threads on body image, achievement, and life purpose, You Might Feel a Little Pressure becomes a portrait of what it’s like to be a woman in today’s society. It is at once personal and universal, shocking and comforting—Adkins will not only hold up a mirror to your own life but hold your hand through it.” —Jessica Zucker, PhD, psychologist, & author of I Had a Miscarriage and Normalize It
303 pages, Paperback
Published March 22, 2025
About the author
Mary Adkins
6 books43 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author with this name on GR.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
April 30, 2026
This book provided the catharsis I needed as I dealt with all the emotions that came with weekly lab draws and an elevated hCG that hung on for weeks before finally coming back down to zero. The only reason I ever put it down was because it was evoking emotions I knew I needed to pause to process, or because it was feeling so on-the-nose relatable in making me feel less alone that I wanted to savor reading it for as long as possible. Not to mention, Adkins writes in a colloquial style that I would emulate if I was a writer. Overall: it made me laugh, it made me cry, and it helped me refocus on what matters.
March 25, 2025
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is a memoir I'll be thinking about for a long time. The writing is stunning, and I couldn't put this book down. Even if you haven't struggled with fertility, there are so many parts of Mary's story that women can connect with.
May 24, 2025
Mary Adkins’ memoir is like hugging a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
It’s joyful, important, powerful, and sad. Her words stay with you long after you’re done reading, and somehow she brings you through the ups and downs of her trauma, not like a rollercoaster, but a dance. It’s moving, and it’s relatable. It’s humorous, and it’s honest. It’s true to the disappointing healthcare experiences for women and the incessant “mind-fuck” of the fertility journey.
Every woman can see themselves in this story, which to me, centered on what it feels like to begin listening to and owning your body after a lifetime of shunning it, shaming it, sharing it. To accept what our body needs, wants, and is communicating. And to live in it now instead of what you want it to be or to deliver in the future.
Mary shared her world with us, her precious moments with her son, the friends who carried her when she couldn’t walk alone, and her husband who took every wave with her, hand-in-hand. Somehow this book by someone who claims not to know what she believes, made ME believe in something more… something beyond. Just like her sister in the book, I believed her ghost story. I’m now keeping my eyes peeled for signs from another dimension, another fold in the multi-verse.
My favorite lines appeared in the final chapter including:
“It was the expectation that gave rise to the disappointment. The reality was, in fact, far from disappointing; it was magical.”
“Productivity as a lifestyle had lost its appeal. I saw that it had never actually worked to help me avoid the ache of being alive. I’d just managed to distract myself with it.”
“When people said, ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I wanted to say back, ‘And I’m sorry for yours because it’s coming. And it’s going to be like waking up to find out that you live on a different planet, and you’ll be in the company of every human who has ever lived long enough to get here.”
The last of these three examples is, perhaps, my favorite, because it’s jarring and comforting all at once. To be human is to grieve. In fact, there is nothing more human. And to know that we are in good company… something Mary reminds us by writing and publishing a groundbreaking book about miscarriage when others have shied away from the topic… is priceless. I consumed this book in a matter of three nights. I thank her for her words, her bravery, her magic.
It’s joyful, important, powerful, and sad. Her words stay with you long after you’re done reading, and somehow she brings you through the ups and downs of her trauma, not like a rollercoaster, but a dance. It’s moving, and it’s relatable. It’s humorous, and it’s honest. It’s true to the disappointing healthcare experiences for women and the incessant “mind-fuck” of the fertility journey.
Every woman can see themselves in this story, which to me, centered on what it feels like to begin listening to and owning your body after a lifetime of shunning it, shaming it, sharing it. To accept what our body needs, wants, and is communicating. And to live in it now instead of what you want it to be or to deliver in the future.
Mary shared her world with us, her precious moments with her son, the friends who carried her when she couldn’t walk alone, and her husband who took every wave with her, hand-in-hand. Somehow this book by someone who claims not to know what she believes, made ME believe in something more… something beyond. Just like her sister in the book, I believed her ghost story. I’m now keeping my eyes peeled for signs from another dimension, another fold in the multi-verse.
My favorite lines appeared in the final chapter including:
“It was the expectation that gave rise to the disappointment. The reality was, in fact, far from disappointing; it was magical.”
“Productivity as a lifestyle had lost its appeal. I saw that it had never actually worked to help me avoid the ache of being alive. I’d just managed to distract myself with it.”
“When people said, ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I wanted to say back, ‘And I’m sorry for yours because it’s coming. And it’s going to be like waking up to find out that you live on a different planet, and you’ll be in the company of every human who has ever lived long enough to get here.”
The last of these three examples is, perhaps, my favorite, because it’s jarring and comforting all at once. To be human is to grieve. In fact, there is nothing more human. And to know that we are in good company… something Mary reminds us by writing and publishing a groundbreaking book about miscarriage when others have shied away from the topic… is priceless. I consumed this book in a matter of three nights. I thank her for her words, her bravery, her magic.
July 1, 2025
This was the FIRST book I’ve quickly read, cover to cover, in 4 years. I’ve been described as a “collector” of books. I become excited and read the first 10-50 pages, then put it on the shelf as “something I’ll come back to”… but I never do. This book only made its home on my bookshelf once I had finished reading it!
As a person who hasn’t attempted to start or build a family, there was still so much to take away from this memoir. Mary has accomplished many things in her life - attending Duke for undergrad, earning her law degree from Yale, and working at a respected law firm in New York. All of these tasks required setting a goal and following the steps to reach success. She easily had her first child, a son named Finn, but expanding her family from 3 to 4 proves to be a challenge. She’s suddenly faced with uncertainty, something she can’t control, a goal that isn’t prescriptive on how to achieve the desired outcome. Mary’s story has made me think about the “hustle.” Personally as a woman working her way up the academic medicine ladder, it made me think about the ambition that’s required if one ever wants “seniority” or to be recognized. Is it worth the long hours, sometimes saying no to things in my personal life? Where and what do I truly find joy in and how can THAT be the focus of my time?
Thank you, Mary, for telling your story, for opening details of your home, of your family, of your mind and your personal struggles and triumphs. It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to continue sharing it with friends/family members/patients who may be experiencing a similar thing that are seeking a book they may connect with!
As a person who hasn’t attempted to start or build a family, there was still so much to take away from this memoir. Mary has accomplished many things in her life - attending Duke for undergrad, earning her law degree from Yale, and working at a respected law firm in New York. All of these tasks required setting a goal and following the steps to reach success. She easily had her first child, a son named Finn, but expanding her family from 3 to 4 proves to be a challenge. She’s suddenly faced with uncertainty, something she can’t control, a goal that isn’t prescriptive on how to achieve the desired outcome. Mary’s story has made me think about the “hustle.” Personally as a woman working her way up the academic medicine ladder, it made me think about the ambition that’s required if one ever wants “seniority” or to be recognized. Is it worth the long hours, sometimes saying no to things in my personal life? Where and what do I truly find joy in and how can THAT be the focus of my time?
Thank you, Mary, for telling your story, for opening details of your home, of your family, of your mind and your personal struggles and triumphs. It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to continue sharing it with friends/family members/patients who may be experiencing a similar thing that are seeking a book they may connect with!
March 24, 2025
Mary Adkins YOU MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE PRESSURE reads like a coffee chat with your best girlfriend, the one with perfect hair and life, when she finally shares all her biggest secrets. Mary Adkins’ writing style is spunky, direct, candid and so relatable. I found myself nodding as I read. Yup, I’d say to myself. I’ve felt that way too. I deeply related to her genius book title. We know the pressure of self-image, and equating our worth to our personal appearance and the lengths we will go in order to ring that bell in our head. But, Mary Adkins’ story of miscarriage, for me, who has not gone through one, is the story of finding our core truth. How do we define what is a successful life? As a writer, she pulls no punches. You want to get a feel who the author was when she first miscarried? You will never, ever forget her first pages. I gasped when I realized what she was doing, then gasped even louder, again and again. I recognized myself in that moment of, what, denial? Containing my rage with a shell of pragmatism? By the time Mary Adkins tells me that her solution for her insatiable hunger (to plan and achieve) was always one hour ahead of living in her present, I thought the author had read my mind. After reading YOU MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE PRESSURE, I fully understood why any of us feel not just a little pressure, but an overwhelming amount of pressure to live in a future that was not precisely what I planned for it to be. Loved this book.
April 22, 2025
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is one of the most powerful and affecting books I've read in a long time. Mary Adkins writes with such raw honesty and emotional clarity that it feels like she's sitting across from you, sharing her story over coffee.
This book is a lifeline for women who've experienced any form of loss—whether it's the loss of a child, identity, belief, or even just the person they once were. Adkins doesn’t shy away from pain; instead, she meets it head-on with truth, vulnerability, and a surprising dose of humor. Her storytelling is both poetic and grounded, making it incredibly easy to connect with her journey on a deeply personal level.
What truly sets this book apart is the emotional resonance it leaves behind. Adkins invites us to feel everything with her—grief, confusion, rage, hope, even joy—and that’s a rare and beautiful gift. It’s the kind of book that stays with you long after the last page, shifting your perspective and offering comfort in unexpected ways.
If you’ve ever felt alone in your loss or uncertain about how to move forward, this book will meet you right where you are. It’s tender, wise, and utterly unforgettable!
This book is a lifeline for women who've experienced any form of loss—whether it's the loss of a child, identity, belief, or even just the person they once were. Adkins doesn’t shy away from pain; instead, she meets it head-on with truth, vulnerability, and a surprising dose of humor. Her storytelling is both poetic and grounded, making it incredibly easy to connect with her journey on a deeply personal level.
What truly sets this book apart is the emotional resonance it leaves behind. Adkins invites us to feel everything with her—grief, confusion, rage, hope, even joy—and that’s a rare and beautiful gift. It’s the kind of book that stays with you long after the last page, shifting your perspective and offering comfort in unexpected ways.
If you’ve ever felt alone in your loss or uncertain about how to move forward, this book will meet you right where you are. It’s tender, wise, and utterly unforgettable!
March 25, 2025
Mary Adkins's memoir hit me right in the heart with its honest take on loss and the struggle to accept what we can't control. Following her journey through three miscarriages in just nine months, I found myself nodding along as she questioned the whole "work hard and you'll succeed" mindset we all get sold. What I loved most was how she takes this deeply personal experience and turns it into something anyone who's had life flip their plans upside down can relate to. Her writing feels like a conversation with a friend who's finally saying all the things we're afraid to admit about disappointment and uncertainty. This book will stay with me for a long, long time - it's the kind of raw, thoughtful storytelling that makes you examine your own life while feeling less alone in your struggles. It will definitely be one that I'll be going back to reread again and again. (Crossing my fingers it will be out on audio some day soon, too!!)
March 25, 2025
Thankfully, I myself have never struggled with miscarriage, but I found my mother’s heart aching right along with Mary’s as she took me on her very personal journey in You Might Feel a Little Pressure. She writes for all womanhood, finding endless ways to connect with female readers—regardless of their own specific life experiences—through her anecdotal and vulnerable writing style. She offers us something truly unique, but oftentimes squelched, about the female voice through her storytelling—a boldness I venture to guess many of us wish we could muster in the midst of challenging times. Her memoir left me feeling seen, understood, and overwhelmingly connected to women everywhere. I’ve always been a fan of Mary’s fiction work (Palm Beach, When You Read This, and Privilege), but her memoir is truly next-level, a transformative marker in my life I will not soon forget.
March 25, 2025
You Might Feel A Little Pressure by Mary Adkins offers a raw, honest, and sometimes heartbreaking portrayal of what it’s like to struggle with fertility. She doesn't shy away from the difficult moments—the pain, the frustration, or the hard truths about herself, the medical system, or unrealistic cultural standards for women. Reading this story was like having your “perfect” friend open up and share her most vulnerable, human moments with you.
What really stayed with me though, is grounded hope, a sensation of connectedness and meaning. "What if the point wasn’t fleeing the ache but experiencing simple joy within the ache?” I could feel this story in my body, I could feel the truth of the experience, the necessity of wrapping words around the grief and the hope.
This is a book I will keep on hand and give as a gift when the time is right.
What really stayed with me though, is grounded hope, a sensation of connectedness and meaning. "What if the point wasn’t fleeing the ache but experiencing simple joy within the ache?” I could feel this story in my body, I could feel the truth of the experience, the necessity of wrapping words around the grief and the hope.
This is a book I will keep on hand and give as a gift when the time is right.
February 9, 2026
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is a brave and luminous book, written from a place most people are taught to keep silent. Mary Adkins approaches miscarriage not as a single event but as a landscape of bodies, marriages, medical systems, and private longings and she walks it with remarkable clarity and tenderness. What moved me most was the way she refuses both sentimentality and despair, choosing instead a language of wonder: wonder at what the body endures, at how love bends without breaking, at how grief can exist beside humor and ordinary days. The memoir feels like a conversation many readers have been waiting for permission to have. Adkins writes with intelligence, warmth, and a steady moral attention to the unseen lives of women, and the result is a book that offers companionship rather than answers exactly what is needed.
March 24, 2025
This book reads like a girlfriend’s innermost guide to fertility and adulthood - with immense vulnerability and heart. I would’ve loved this in my twenties as a big sister book- and also to share with all of my friends as the ultimate book club memoir to start these kinds of conversations earlier.
But I so appreciate this story now, in my forties, finding the overlap in our experiences and learning how another like-minded person navigated her grief and discovery in motherhood. I loved how Mary’s friends showed up for her, I loved how she befriended death and found the wonder in her life in the present; and I loved her ideas and how she shared her stories.
I finished this feeling like I’d just had a nice long hug and heart-to-heart with a dear friend. ❤️ Highly recommended!!
But I so appreciate this story now, in my forties, finding the overlap in our experiences and learning how another like-minded person navigated her grief and discovery in motherhood. I loved how Mary’s friends showed up for her, I loved how she befriended death and found the wonder in her life in the present; and I loved her ideas and how she shared her stories.
I finished this feeling like I’d just had a nice long hug and heart-to-heart with a dear friend. ❤️ Highly recommended!!
March 23, 2025
I never experienced a miscarriage, so I wasn't sure how much I'd relate to this book. However, even though the specifics of my life are different, I found myself completely engrossed in the story of grief, identity, and achievement addiction (and recovery). There are so many amazing insights that have lingered with me since I finished reading. It was so beautiful to watch the ways the author discovered to connect with her lost little ones, and that's something I think any mom can relate to. Highly recommend this to any memoir fan!
April 1, 2025
I don’t have the words to say how powerfully this memoir has affected me. I am an older woman who had only mild expectations. So, I am shocked that I couldn’t skim through it, as I do so many books. She grabbed me. Somehow, she plunged me into the depths with her, and then brought me up to laugh and cry. Then, down we went again. At one point, I thought I needed to quit reading because she is so raw. And then, I surfaced with her into some kind of light and peace that left me both filled and sad that it was over. What an amazing story. I just ordered copies for my book club.
March 25, 2025
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is a brave and beautiful window into the author’s life. Yes, it’s a book about miscarriage, but it’s also about the pressures all women face in life, pressure to be perfect, to succeed, to check all the right boxes at the right time. I hadn't expected to relate to so much of Mary’s story, but I did, and I think most women can. I cried and laughed while reading it. I loved this memoir.
March 25, 2025
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is literally everything a memoir should be—raw and real and smart and vulnerable—literally everything. Adkins’ voice shines through every single page, and I was captivated by her story. This is an essential read for not only other women who might be experiencing miscarriage themselves but also for their friends, spouses, partners, and family, to create a ripple effect of support. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your very powerful story.
March 26, 2025
What an incredible book! Mary's vulnerability shines through in this heartfelt memoir about infertility, love, life, and loss. So many women have suffered great loss, and Mary is brave enough to share her story with us. Immersed in the prose, I found myself lost in time, unable to put the book down. If you, or someone you know has dealt with these issues, you must read this poignant memoir! It's eye-opening and incredibly important for women to tell their stories.
May 26, 2025
I could not put this book down. It is a memoir about miscarriage, yes, but also about life, about being known, about feeling seen. And, it is riveting. Yes, I said a memoir about miscarriage is riveting!
Mary's heartprints are everwhere in this book--in every thought, on every page.
This is a memoir for women who have miscarried, it is also a story for EVERY woman.
If I could give it more than five stars, I absoultey would.
Mary's heartprints are everwhere in this book--in every thought, on every page.
This is a memoir for women who have miscarried, it is also a story for EVERY woman.
If I could give it more than five stars, I absoultey would.
May 26, 2025
With complete transparency and vulnerability, Adkins lays her heart out to her readers. Those that have experienced miscarriage will find comfort in reading of Mary’s experience. Those that desire children but have had their dreams shattered need our comfort and support.
Thank you Mary Adkins for sharing your journey.
Thank you Mary Adkins for sharing your journey.
July 22, 2025
You Might Feel a Little Pressure is a beautiful book: funny, deep, painful and inspiring all at once. Yes, it deals with miscarriage and fertility, but more broadly, it's also about constructing a life and making peace with our own vulnerability.
March 28, 2025
A wonderful book, beautifully and bravely written. You don’t have to have had a miscarriage or ever been pregnant to find meaning, humor, and an impact from beginning to end.
June 21, 2025
This book is such a powerful exploration of grief. I read it on a road trip and couldn’t put it down. It had me from the very first line:
“My pregnancy app told me he was the size of a blueberry when the life in him snuffed out, and so that’s what I keep thinking about: blueberries.”
From beginning to end, it touched my heart. I’m honestly just so grateful this book exists. I’ve known several women who’ve experienced miscarriage, and even though I’ve read hundreds of books and browsed through thousands more, I’ve never come across one that truly talks about it. But this one does, and it does so in a way that’s original, unforgettable, and impactful.
It’s such an important topic, and one that’s far too often overlooked, which is heartbreaking considering that at least 20% of pregnant women (likely more) experience miscarriage at some point.
If you’re thinking about reading this book, do it. It’s gripping, honest, emotional and an amazing read.
“My pregnancy app told me he was the size of a blueberry when the life in him snuffed out, and so that’s what I keep thinking about: blueberries.”
From beginning to end, it touched my heart. I’m honestly just so grateful this book exists. I’ve known several women who’ve experienced miscarriage, and even though I’ve read hundreds of books and browsed through thousands more, I’ve never come across one that truly talks about it. But this one does, and it does so in a way that’s original, unforgettable, and impactful.
It’s such an important topic, and one that’s far too often overlooked, which is heartbreaking considering that at least 20% of pregnant women (likely more) experience miscarriage at some point.
If you’re thinking about reading this book, do it. It’s gripping, honest, emotional and an amazing read.
April 17, 2025
Mary bravely shares her journey through pregnancy loss, tackling a subject that so many experience but few talk about openly.
For anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, knows someone who has, or simply wants to better understand this profound form of grief, this memoir offers insight, compassion, and the comfort of knowing you are not alone.
For anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, knows someone who has, or simply wants to better understand this profound form of grief, this memoir offers insight, compassion, and the comfort of knowing you are not alone.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews