This is an evil, gory, disgusting book, absolutely the worst guide you can find to using and preparing ranch dressing. It's not even culinary horror! It grabs you from the start, and shakes you till you agree to go places you never expected to go: behind the scenes working in restaurants, behind the scenes of family killings, behind the scenes of paraplegic sex. Take the author's warning seriously: this is extreme horror, in fact some scenes will make even veterans cringe, so if that's not your thing, AVOID THIS BOOK LIKE THE PLAGUE. That said, if you do, you'll miss out on a story full of twists, raunchy sex, non-stop action, and gross recipes. Hard to believe this is just the author's second work!
I promised Derek Thomas I would stop telling people not to reach Ranchman if they wanted to continue liking ranch dressing. So here's my review definitely NOT telling you not to read Ranchman if you want to like ranch dressing. Our main character is very serious about his condiments. Absolutely do not abuse them; he'll make sure you know what you did wrong. He's also stuck on his high-school sweetheart. And she on him. Even though they haven't been together for YEARS. There's a twist. There's always a twist. ☠️☠️☠️☠️/5. Definitely enjoyed (most) of this and highly recommend. There is a very aggressive SA scene. Beware. It was hard to read through that one.
What a ride! I love ranch, and I loved Ranchman. A dark and twisted journey full of smut, creative deaths, and plenty of obscure depravity. A must-read for all extreme horror fans. Yes, I will not be putting ranch on my pizza tonight, but maybe later this week. However, I will think twice before adding it. I read this in one sitting. 5 ranch bottles.