The Mediator's Toolkit, Second Edition: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes

by Gerry O'Sullivan

The acclaimed guide to formulating and asking penetrating, paradigm-shifting mediation questions to successfully resolve conflict, now completely revised and updated.


Knowing how to formulate and ask incisive questions is essential for effective mediation and conflict resolution. The Mediator's Toolkit, Second Edition, is the proven, practical guide to formulating and posing powerful questions that get to the core of an issue, challenge entrenched thinking, and shift perspectives.


This fully revised edition delivers advanced techniques while leveraging the latest neuroscientific research and psychological concepts to help mediation practitioners and participants gain increased insight.


Readers will benefit from a comprehensive analysis of the newly updated "S Questions Model," a process-driven conceptual framework which takes a deep dive into the four key dimensions of building impactful and robust mediation subject matter, structure, seeking information and shifting-thinking. The resulting toolkit



The scientific theories and concepts underpinning each aspect of the model
Safe and productive approaches for effectively managing blame, addressing toxic language, navigating highly charged emotions, encouraging effective listening, getting to underlying interests, and creating empowerment
Detailed background, use cases, examples, hazard warnings and key learnings for numerous categories of neutral, exploratory questions including those based on neurolinguistic programming, cognitive elements, journeys of inference, distinction and difference and many more.

This indispensable reference will radically sharpen, focus, and improve the dispute-resolution strategies and communication skills of qualified mediators and facilitators, students, lecturers, trainers, and anyone using questions to challenge assumptions, foster connectedness, and effect change in any context.

290 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 10, 2025

About the author

LinkedIn Profile:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gerryosul...

I have over 35 years of experience in training and conflict resolution work. Prior to concentrating on advanced Mediation Training for asking powerful questions, I delivered Mediators’ Institute of Ireland (MII) accredited mediation training for many years and reached advanced level membership with that Institute (themii.ie).

I hold a Diploma in Adult and Continuing Education and have provided training and mediation services for industry, public and semi-state bodies, inter-agency groups, organisational and workplace settings and in the local development and community sector.

Internationally:
I have delivered In-Person training in Palestine, Cuba, Germany and the U.K., as well as online training to other international regions.

Reviews

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is, by far, the most practical and insightful book I have read on mediation. It provides theories, specific examples and checklists on how to formulate questions to help clients move past obstacles to greater understanding and transformation. I will never mediate or coach in the same way again. Gerry O'Sullivan "gets" the magic behind mediation, and I am so grateful for her expertise.

[Paul O'Raw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had just purchased Gerry’s book when I received a request to mediate from an organisation, so I was able to put it to practical use immediately. In preparing for the joint mediation session, I found the layout of the book and the index very helpful in referring me to the sections I needed to help clarify my plan for the session. For example, chapter 16 on Underlying Interests; it reminded me of what I was trying to achieve and how to get there effectively and sensitively to both parties. It helped me facilitate the mediation - confident and prepared. In preparing yourself for mediation I think you will find yourself, like me, taking the book down off the shelf often.

[Gabriella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely worth reading. Incredibly interesting book to anyone who is interested about how to deal with people during mediation. The tips Mrs O'Sullivan gives are amazing and really practical. Highy recommended book.