Addict: A Tale Of Drugs And Recovery

by Milton Schorr

‘I wanted to be who I felt I was. Broken. A wreck. A nobody.’

There’s a moment where life happens. It’s the moment just before making a good decision, or a bad one. For Milton Schorr, just such a moment took place at the age of seventeen, when he found himself squatting on his haunches in a Cape Town flat with a heroin needle in his arm.

A friend sat with him, his thumb on the plunger, and a decision was to be made. Let the heroin slip inside, and take the road the drug offered, or turn away, and find a new life not defined by the endless quest for oblivion.

For Schorr, the path was already set, as it had been at his first taste of shoplifting, porn, cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, Mandrax, LSD, Ecstasy and sex. No decision is separate from any other, each one is a continuation of all that have gone before, and it is only by a monumental reckoning with the self that the course can be altered.

This book is the story of Milton Schorr’s life as a drug addict, both in active addiction and recovery. Today, two decades sober, he relates the pivotal points in his own journey toward death, and back to life.

260 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 5, 2025

About the author

Actor (Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Redeeming Love) and author, who's first novel Strange Fish is out now via Pilgrim's Press Books at www.pilgrimspressbooks.com.

Schorr has worked extensively with the MMA promotion EFC worldwide, directing and producing their monthly ‘Countdown’ documentary series, as well as directing their recent reality television show ‘The Fighter’ Season 2.

As a writer and actor he has received the Imbewu Scriptwriting award for his play ‘The Heroin Diaries’, and both the ‘iDidTht Best of Reel for Direction Craft’ and ‘Vimeo Staff Pick’ award for his short film ‘Surrender’ (Actor/Writer) along with director Porteus Xandau, and has appeared in various international film and television productions, such as Paul WS Anderson’s Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, Black Sails, various international TV series, and Tomb Raider (March 2018).

He has co-founded two theatre companies, authored six plays, directing and producing them and others in venues all throughout South Africa, and starred in numerous others.

The desire to inspire others is the vein that runs through all of his work, an aim achieved by sharing stories straight from the heart.

Reviews

[Anschen Conradie]

#Addict – Milton Schorr
#PenguinRandomHouse

Despite the many faces thereof, all addictions comprise of a constant and chronic need of an object of perceived comfort. Whether it be prescription medication, alcohol, prohibited substances, nicotine, or something entirely different, the compelling craving remains at the heart of the addiction.

Today, sober for two decades, Milton Schorr is known as a novelist (‘Strange fish’, 2021, and ‘A man of the road’, 2022) and actor (‘Resident evil’, 2002, and ‘Tomb Raider’, 2018) but this memoir narrates the road leading up to the present and reveals the history of a life that led to addiction and recovery. It is not a chronicle of facts, however, “…It is an account of what happened as I remember it.” (Author’s note, xi)

At the age of fifteen, the majority of teenagers daydream about fame and fortune. Not so in respect of the author: “I knew I wanted to be a heroin addict…” (1) The chasing of the dragon was the first step, but two years later his desire was fulfilled with the simple act of plunging a needle in the vein of his left arm. “Now I was the star, the human torch, inviting others to watch me burn.” (2)

Youthful reckless behaviour involving shoplifting, pornography, cigarettes, alcohol, burglary, and marijuana, evolved into Mandrax, LSD, Ecstasy, Crack, and the ultimate: the big H, the latter introducing the reality of withdrawal, the “…physical evidence that your friend is leaving” (112) and started the rollercoaster of addiction: “Addiction is…a hole that cannot be filled, no matter how many substances you stuff inside it.” (185)

It would be years before he was able to articulate that “…addiction is about the quest for distraction from the uncomfortable feelings inside; recovery is about facing them.” (196)

This memoir is a brutally honest account of the author’s journey, and the painful realizations that addiction can be treated, not cured, and that it is a true shapeshifter, appearing in many different forms.

Never patronizing or judgemental, it inspires and educates and closes with the profound summary of what life is like for so many: “Some days I am more recovered than others.” (249)

#uitdieperdsebek

[Thato Mapule · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir is imbued with incredible introspection and honesty. I never felt the author held back in detailing his harrowing experience with drug addiction - a journey defined by years of low self-esteem, a sense of abandonment, and the agonizing inability to extricate himself from poor decisions. Now twenty years clean, Milton shares his story with striking clarity and a transformative lack of shame. It is a shocking read, but one that feels deeply cathartic. By sharing this, it’s clear that nothing has a hold over him anymore - neither the drugs nor the shame of his addiction.

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[Jeremy Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in 1 day. The writing and story are so compelling and in places relatable to my own life I couldn’t put it down. Thank you Milton for writing this book.