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Sparent: From the Which Way's Up Series

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Sparent.

I am the Sparent.

I am the extra parent that no child wants in their lives.

I will always be the Sparent.

It is a role that I have come to embrace. A role that I am proud to hold. A position in which I thrive. Spare or not, I am exactly where I belong.

"As we were sitting in our third therapy appointment in three days (well, four if you count physical therapy to alleviate the neck pain from banging my head into the wall), I thought, “Oh my god…who has three therapists?!” Not us. Three would just be a start."

Sparent, by Jyl Barlow, is filled with the true tales of life in a blended family. Through laughter and tears, Sparent offers insight and wisdom that is easily applied to all types of families. Jyl is best known for giggling at inappropriate times, something she carries into her writing. As a humorist, Jyl’s writing has been compared to Erma Bombeck's. As a stepmother, she’s been compared to . . . well, that’s not important.

Sparent is the much-anticipated follow-up to Jyl’s award-winning memoir, What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting (Parenting Tales from the Most Unqualified Stepmom Ever).

128 pages, Paperback

Published February 15, 2025

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About the author

Jyl C.J. Barlow

2 books2 followers

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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Profile Image for Lacey.
264 reviews3 followers
June 12, 2025
I LOVED it! The stories were just the right amount of humor and truth (and humorous truth). And it was VERY relatable. VERY!! I saw my own kids and my own relationships mirrored in several of the stories. Well done!
Profile Image for Literary Titan.
750 reviews83 followers
February 27, 2025
Jyl CJ Barlow’s Sparent is a raw, heartfelt, and often hilarious dive into the messy, beautiful, and sometimes maddening world of step-parenting. Through a series of personal essays, Barlow recounts her experiences navigating blended family life, sometimes thriving and sometimes barely surviving. She shares the joys, the heartbreaks, the frustrations, and the small victories that come with being a “Sparent” (a spare parent). It’s a book full of love, vulnerability, and biting humor, making it a refreshingly honest take on modern family dynamics.

One of the things I loved most about Sparent was its unfiltered honesty. Barlow doesn’t sugarcoat anything. She talks openly about feeling like the “extra” parent, the one easily dismissed or overlooked. In the prologue, she bluntly states, “I am the Sparent. I am the extra parent that no child wants in their life.” That kind of truth hits hard, and throughout the book, she explores what it means to claim a space in a child’s life when biology isn’t on your side. There’s an emotional depth here that sneaks up on you. One moment, you’re laughing at her struggles with a moody teenager; the next, you’re tearing up as she describes the quiet heartbreak of waiting to be seen and valued.

Another standout aspect of the book is Barlow’s humor. She has this incredible way of turning even the most frustrating situations into laugh-out-loud moments. In “Summer Camp”, she perfectly captures the exhaustion of dealing with a teenage boy, lamenting how her once-snuggly sidekick has morphed into a surly, towering, hormonally-charged force of nature. “I love this boy. I will hunt you down if you hurt him. But good grief, how am I going to survive five more years of this?” That’s the magic of her writing, as she makes the chaos of parenting feel so relatable, even if you’re not a stepparent. If you’ve ever dealt with a teenager, you’ll recognize yourself in these pages.

But the book isn’t just humor, it’s also deeply introspective. In “Letting Her Fail,” Barlow recounts the agonizing decision to let her stepdaughter, Amelia, face the consequences of her own choices instead of swooping in to fix everything. She writes, “We have to let her fail,” Rich repeated. This was torture. The struggle of stepping back, of allowing a child to stumble so they can learn, is one of the most challenging parts of parenting. Barlow’s willingness to admit her doubts, fears, and occasional missteps makes her story all the more powerful.

Sparent is more than just a book about step-parenting; instead, it’s a book about love in all its complicated, imperfect glory. It’s about showing up, even when you’re not sure you’re wanted. It’s about finding joy in the chaos and laughing when you’d rather cry. It’s about realizing that love isn’t about biology; it’s about presence, patience, and persistence. If you’re a step-parent, you’ll feel seen. If you’re a parent, you’ll nod along. If you’re someone who loves a complicated, heartfelt story with plenty of humor, this one’s for you.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews

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