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Fisher & Church #1
The Meaning Of You
We’d shared a forever love. The kind they write stories about. A once in a lifetime chance at something special. For fourteen years Davis was my world. We were growing old together, fifties and counting. Then it was all ripped away in the blink of an eye.
We’d told each other everything, or so I thought. But secrets have a way of bubbling to the surface and it turned out Davis kept a few of his own. Hidden laptops, clandestine meetings, cryptic emails. The husband I’d believed in was a lie.
Or was he?
I have to find out. And Madigan Church is right there to help me. A complicated man. A man I wasn’t expecting. An attraction I can’t deny. Confusing. Challenging. Madigan makes me feel things I’m not ready for. Want things I don’t deserve. Not now. Maybe not ever again.
But with every step into the twisted mystery, the danger escalates. Neither of us is safe. Not from the truth, and not from what’s growing between us.
Because we aren’t the only ones on the hunt. Somewhere amongst my late husband’s secrets is something worth stealing, maybe even worth killing for.
And time is running out.
Author’s This story features the death of a spouse who is not a main character.
‘The Meaning of You’ is the first book in a romantic suspense series following the same couple. There are no cliffhangers.
We’d told each other everything, or so I thought. But secrets have a way of bubbling to the surface and it turned out Davis kept a few of his own. Hidden laptops, clandestine meetings, cryptic emails. The husband I’d believed in was a lie.
Or was he?
I have to find out. And Madigan Church is right there to help me. A complicated man. A man I wasn’t expecting. An attraction I can’t deny. Confusing. Challenging. Madigan makes me feel things I’m not ready for. Want things I don’t deserve. Not now. Maybe not ever again.
But with every step into the twisted mystery, the danger escalates. Neither of us is safe. Not from the truth, and not from what’s growing between us.
Because we aren’t the only ones on the hunt. Somewhere amongst my late husband’s secrets is something worth stealing, maybe even worth killing for.
And time is running out.
Author’s This story features the death of a spouse who is not a main character.
‘The Meaning of You’ is the first book in a romantic suspense series following the same couple. There are no cliffhangers.
348 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 24, 2025
172 people are currently reading
459 people want to read
About the author
Jay Hogan
25 books917 followersHeart, humour and keeping it real.
I am a two times Lambda Literary Award Finalist—2020 for DIGGING DEEP and 2024 for THE ART OF HUSBANDRY.
I have also received the The Romance Writers of New Zealand 2021 Romance Book of The Year Award for OFF BALANCE.
I am a New Zealand author writing mm romance and romantic suspense primarily set in my home country. I write character driven romances with lots of humour, a good dose of reality, and a splash of angst. I’ve travelled extensively, lived in many countries, and in a past life I worked as a critical care nurse and a counsellor. My family love and somehow put up with me, and my gorgeous Cocker Spaniel thinks I spend too much time at my desk but keeps my feet warm.
Join my reader group to keep up with my news.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/hogan...
You can also find me at:
https://www.jayhoganauthor.com where you can buy my audiobooks direct at a discount.
https://www.facebook.com/JayHoganAuthor
I am a two times Lambda Literary Award Finalist—2020 for DIGGING DEEP and 2024 for THE ART OF HUSBANDRY.
I have also received the The Romance Writers of New Zealand 2021 Romance Book of The Year Award for OFF BALANCE.
I am a New Zealand author writing mm romance and romantic suspense primarily set in my home country. I write character driven romances with lots of humour, a good dose of reality, and a splash of angst. I’ve travelled extensively, lived in many countries, and in a past life I worked as a critical care nurse and a counsellor. My family love and somehow put up with me, and my gorgeous Cocker Spaniel thinks I spend too much time at my desk but keeps my feet warm.
Join my reader group to keep up with my news.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/hogan...
You can also find me at:
https://www.jayhoganauthor.com where you can buy my audiobooks direct at a discount.
https://www.facebook.com/JayHoganAuthor
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 160 reviews
April 15, 2025
Well Jay Hogan made it hard for me to review this book and do justice to the incredible opening story it tells (no cliffhanger though and a solid HFN) because of the sheer complexity of both the relationship development but also the suspense element.
What I will say is set your expectations correctly and do not expect a steamy relationship with plenty of on page activity because this book isn't it.
I have no doubt it'll eventually get to that point but, ultimately, this book is about loss and finding the strength to move on.
The suspense element is deeply embedded into the potential for a new relationship too because it directly revolves around Nick Fisher's dead husband and what he'd got himself embroiled in while researching for his next novel.
Jay also does something in this book that I usually hate with a passion.
I won't spoil what that is but she left me eating my inbuilt distrust of this specific storytelling method because it provides a unique insight into what's going to come next and, while it was incredibly painful to read knowing what happens, it's acts as a powerful opening to the narrative.
The rest of the story is the slowest of slow burns, rightly so, these are two mature men with baggage stretching to the ceiling but also two men who are connecting while navigating the fall out of Nick's husband's actions.
You go into things with open eyes, the Blurb after all lays out that Nick's husband Davis is dead, but it's more complicated than that and the plotline Jay's woven into this book is complex and intricate but incredibly compelling too.
Obviously this is just book one and while somethings are wrapped up here, others provide the ongoing narrative which will be followed in the next book, so while there isn't a cliffhanger, there are still loose threads to be pulled on further.
I loved this book, while both men frustrated me at times, I also understood and empathised with them both completely. Their actions make total sense, there's big risks involved not only in what they're doing investigating Davis' actions, but also in risking their hearts in a potential new relationship.
There's a side order of fabulous secondary characters and I love that Jay's also chosen two careers that you don't often read about - a conservator of rare books/manuscripts etc and a forensic accountant. Both of them have stories to tell regarding that which I found utterly fascinating.
This book has angst through the roof, so if that's your thing, it delivers in spades, but it never seeps over into the unbearable level where you just want to slap someone and tell them to see a therapist or get a grip!
Here you get two grumpy ones, one of them even more closed off than the norm, you get two silver foxes who struggle with their own value while easily acknowledging that of the other, and you get two hearts reaching out and connecting at a bone deep level which frightens them both.
Nick's attraction to Madigan never takes away from what he thought was his forever love with Davis and I appreciated that so much. There's no competition between what was and what could be and I'm so very much looking forward to seeing what happens next!
#ARC kindly received from the author, I am voluntarily leaving a review
What I will say is set your expectations correctly and do not expect a steamy relationship with plenty of on page activity because this book isn't it.
I have no doubt it'll eventually get to that point but, ultimately, this book is about loss and finding the strength to move on.
The suspense element is deeply embedded into the potential for a new relationship too because it directly revolves around Nick Fisher's dead husband and what he'd got himself embroiled in while researching for his next novel.
Jay also does something in this book that I usually hate with a passion.
I won't spoil what that is but she left me eating my inbuilt distrust of this specific storytelling method because it provides a unique insight into what's going to come next and, while it was incredibly painful to read knowing what happens, it's acts as a powerful opening to the narrative.
The rest of the story is the slowest of slow burns, rightly so, these are two mature men with baggage stretching to the ceiling but also two men who are connecting while navigating the fall out of Nick's husband's actions.
You go into things with open eyes, the Blurb after all lays out that Nick's husband Davis is dead, but it's more complicated than that and the plotline Jay's woven into this book is complex and intricate but incredibly compelling too.
Obviously this is just book one and while somethings are wrapped up here, others provide the ongoing narrative which will be followed in the next book, so while there isn't a cliffhanger, there are still loose threads to be pulled on further.
I loved this book, while both men frustrated me at times, I also understood and empathised with them both completely. Their actions make total sense, there's big risks involved not only in what they're doing investigating Davis' actions, but also in risking their hearts in a potential new relationship.
There's a side order of fabulous secondary characters and I love that Jay's also chosen two careers that you don't often read about - a conservator of rare books/manuscripts etc and a forensic accountant. Both of them have stories to tell regarding that which I found utterly fascinating.
This book has angst through the roof, so if that's your thing, it delivers in spades, but it never seeps over into the unbearable level where you just want to slap someone and tell them to see a therapist or get a grip!
Here you get two grumpy ones, one of them even more closed off than the norm, you get two silver foxes who struggle with their own value while easily acknowledging that of the other, and you get two hearts reaching out and connecting at a bone deep level which frightens them both.
Nick's attraction to Madigan never takes away from what he thought was his forever love with Davis and I appreciated that so much. There's no competition between what was and what could be and I'm so very much looking forward to seeing what happens next!
#ARC kindly received from the author, I am voluntarily leaving a review
April 26, 2025
I was not expecting to cry so much! This book seriously slapped me with the emotions and I just said thank you, more please 😂😂
I loved that this was older MCs. I loved that this was a serious slow burn. I loved that there wasn't a single sex scene - the chemistry and tension was so good, the build up to them finally kissing was perfect, and I think I would have been disappointed if they'd jumped into a sexual relationship.
The mystery was really interesting and had my attention throughout. I also really enjoyed how we got to see what had caused Davis's accident because the prologue is in his POV - I don't think I've read that kind of format before but I loved it.
Cannot wait for book two!
I loved that this was older MCs. I loved that this was a serious slow burn. I loved that there wasn't a single sex scene - the chemistry and tension was so good, the build up to them finally kissing was perfect, and I think I would have been disappointed if they'd jumped into a sexual relationship.
The mystery was really interesting and had my attention throughout. I also really enjoyed how we got to see what had caused Davis's accident because the prologue is in his POV - I don't think I've read that kind of format before but I loved it.
Cannot wait for book two!
Read
February 22, 2025
‘The Meaning of You’ is the first book in a romantic suspense series following the same couple.
My kryptonite!! *adds immediately to tbr*
My kryptonite!! *adds immediately to tbr*
May 10, 2025
4.5 stars
Main characters in their 50s? Suspense? First of multiple books about the same couple? Count me in!
Mini blurb: Nick’s husband suffered a horrible accident 18 months ago and in the wreckage of his life, he met Madigan, but secrets and bad guys are surrounding them, and they must figure out their feelings for each other and who is trying to hurt them.
Fifty-five years a bachelor, and when I finally fell hard for a man, it had to be one of the really complicated ones.
I finished this book on Tuesday, and I feel like I need to send Jay Hogan a thank you card because somehow, this was the book that finally broke my year and a half long reading slump. I’ve read about 7 books in the last year and in half and they were all very far in between and nothing consistent but since I finished this book, I have now read two other books, and I finally feel motivated to read again. So, thank you so much for this book, I will always be eternally grateful to you!
I had a really shitty start of the year and all I was looking for what a book that would make me feel a ton of emotions and this book delivered everything I wanted it to. I was looking for a romance that was both high in feelings and in action, and this is exactly what I got. I read this book in two sittings, only stopping because my Kindle fell in my face as I fell asleep while reading. I did not want to put this book down for any reason.
”You have the power to hurt me more than anyone before you.”
I adored the romance in this book. Nick and Madigan were just so delightful together, I loved how they grounded each other and helped each other through everything that was thrown at them. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Jay Hogan just writes the most fleslhed out characters I have had the pleasure of reading, and it was the same for Nick and Madigan. And I just loved reading about them as characters but also reading all their scenes together. They had such good chemistry, and I loved seeing their interactions and how they bounced off each other, it was just so delightful to read and put the biggest smile on my face as I was reading.
Also, the mystery in the one? It was just so fun to follow, and I loved how it was super well developped and an integral part of the book. I had the best time following along and reading through everything to see if I could decode the clues and figure it out.
Main characters in their 50s? Suspense? First of multiple books about the same couple? Count me in!
Mini blurb: Nick’s husband suffered a horrible accident 18 months ago and in the wreckage of his life, he met Madigan, but secrets and bad guys are surrounding them, and they must figure out their feelings for each other and who is trying to hurt them.
Fifty-five years a bachelor, and when I finally fell hard for a man, it had to be one of the really complicated ones.
I finished this book on Tuesday, and I feel like I need to send Jay Hogan a thank you card because somehow, this was the book that finally broke my year and a half long reading slump. I’ve read about 7 books in the last year and in half and they were all very far in between and nothing consistent but since I finished this book, I have now read two other books, and I finally feel motivated to read again. So, thank you so much for this book, I will always be eternally grateful to you!
I had a really shitty start of the year and all I was looking for what a book that would make me feel a ton of emotions and this book delivered everything I wanted it to. I was looking for a romance that was both high in feelings and in action, and this is exactly what I got. I read this book in two sittings, only stopping because my Kindle fell in my face as I fell asleep while reading. I did not want to put this book down for any reason.
”You have the power to hurt me more than anyone before you.”
I adored the romance in this book. Nick and Madigan were just so delightful together, I loved how they grounded each other and helped each other through everything that was thrown at them. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Jay Hogan just writes the most fleslhed out characters I have had the pleasure of reading, and it was the same for Nick and Madigan. And I just loved reading about them as characters but also reading all their scenes together. They had such good chemistry, and I loved seeing their interactions and how they bounced off each other, it was just so delightful to read and put the biggest smile on my face as I was reading.
Also, the mystery in the one? It was just so fun to follow, and I loved how it was super well developped and an integral part of the book. I had the best time following along and reading through everything to see if I could decode the clues and figure it out.
May 23, 2025
4.5 stars rounded up.
Jay Hogan changes lanes for her latest book, the first in a romantic suspense series featuring two guys in their fifties who become the unwitting targets of some dangerous people when one of them discovers some unsettling facts about his late husband. The Meaning of You is a terrific read – a compelling page-turner in which the author perfectly balances both elements of the story, skilfully weaving an intriguing and suspenseful mystery together with a beautifully developing romantic relationship.
For eighteen months, forensic accountant Nick Fisher has been living in the most awful kind of limbo. Davis, his husband of thirteen years, was seriously injured in a car accident and has been existing in a persistent vegitative state ever since, his mind and soul locked in a useless body that, if there were truly a merciful God, would’ve given up its hold on him eighteen months before. It’s absolutely not what Davis would have wanted – but Nick can do nothing but watch and wait and struggle, every day, with the weight of the guilt he feels over their final phone conversation on the day of the accident.
Nick visits the care facility almost daily and is about to make his way to Davis’ room when a man, his nose in a book, almost bumps into him in the reception area. The receptionist introduces Nick to Madigan Church, whose aunt has recently moved into Golden Oaks, and Nick takes in the man’s gorgeous green eyes, his shy smile, and the hot nerdy vibes coming from him even as he’s slammed with a surge of guilt for noticing.
They don’t see each other again for several weeks, but the next time their paths cross, Madigan learns that Davis has passed away. He offers Nick a sympathetic ear any time he needs one, but Nick is prickly and clearly used to being self-sufficient, and Madigan is certainly not going to intrude or push the guy into something he doesn’t want. But as the weeks pass and he hears nothing from or of Nick, he can’t help being concerned, so, although reluctant to encroach on Nick’s privacy, he decides to go to his house to check that he’s okay.
The welcome he gets isn’t what he expected. He arrives to find the back door is hanging wide open, almost off its hinges, and voices – plural – coming from inside. He takes a few cautious steps into the house when he’s grabbed and slammed against the wall, unable to avoid the punch aimed at his head. It doesn’t land, however, and instead, an angry Nick demands to know what he’s doing there. Nick had come home from a meeting to find his house had been broken into; the police have just left and as far as he can tell, only a few small items were taken – a tablet, a couple of speakers – but the TVs, cash and expensive jewellery were left alone. It doesn’t make sense – and when Nick mentions in passing that this is the second time the house has been broken into – the first was just after Davis’ accident - Madigan can’t help feeling that’s more than a bit suspicious.
A month later, Nick is going through some of Davis’ papers when he finds receipts for a laptop and phone, paid for using a newly acquired credit card he, Nick, knew nothing about. Davis already had a laptop and phone, so it makes no sense – and why would he have bought them without saying anything? Nick immediately jumps to the obvious conclusions, but Jay Hogan is far too good and smart an author to tread that path, and what follows is a thoroughly intriguing mystery as Nick and Madigan start putting the pieces together – with the help of Nick’s brother-in-law, Samuel, a police officer – to realise that Davis had become mixed up in something he shouldn’t have and paid a terrible price. But even as they’re reaching their own conclusions about what happened, someone in the shadows is waiting to finish the job they started.
The suspense plot here is well-thought out and superbly executed; Jay Hogan skilfully builds the tension and lays out the clues for readers to follow while also dropping the odd red-herring to keep us on our toes. At the same time, she sets a corker of a romance in motion between these two, world-weary men who have experienced love and joy and heartbreak and loss, and who have to decide whether they’re willing to risk their hearts – or if they’re too set in their ways to want to go there again.
Nick is the grumpiest of grumps, and what Madigan calls being “self-contained and resolute” (read: stand-offish and pigheaded) can make him difficult to like at times. As we get to know more about him and his past, it becomes easier to understand why he would want to wall himself off and why he likes the idea of not having to deal with emotions, but he is a bit of a shit to Madigan at times and he does blow hot and cold for perhaps a bit longer than I’d have liked. He doesn’t really know what he wants – he knows Davis would want him to find someone else and be happy with them, but isn’t sure he can handle the possibility of loss and pain all over again.
Madigan, on the other hand, is like a warm blanket in human form. Kind, gentle and caring with a lot of love to give, he’s not had a lot of luck with relationships, the couple of long-term ones he’s had ending when his partner would inevitably begin to complain about him being ‘old before his time’ because he’s a homebody and prefers a quiet life. Five years earlier, and fed up with trying to make a relationship work on someone else’s terms, Madigan has decided he’s had enough of dating. It’s not that he doesn’t want someone to share his life – he very much does – but he’s not actively looking for it any more. Having someone as complicated, attractive and self-contained as Nick Fisher suddenly enter his life certainly throws the cat among the pigeons, but given what Nick has been through, and the way he pushes Madigan away one minute, only to seem to want his company the next, Madigan has to be very honest with himself about the risk to his heart Nick represents.
There’s a small but skilfully drawn cast of secondary characters, including Samuel, Madigan’s apprentice-turned-friend, Gazza, and feisty aunt Shirley, who all rally round when the shit hits the fan.
The Meaning of You is, as I said at the outset, the first in a same-couple series, and we reach a strong HFN by the end with the promise that the romance will continue in the next book. Don’t go in to this one expecting to find the author’s usual brand of earthy sexiness, because while these two have chemistry up the wazoo, there’s no bed-hopping here, and I appreciated that; Nick and Madigan have a lot of baggage between them and I liked that they are both aware of it and, realising they have real potential as a couple, want to take the time to get things right.
The Meaning of You is a poignant, beautifully written story about love, loss and moving on, combined with an emotional romance and an intriguing mystery plotline. Jay Hogan continues to prove herself to be one of the best romance authors around, and this book clearly demonstrates not only her talent but her versatility. I thoroughly enjoyed it and am really looking forward to finding out what the future has in store for Fisher & Church.
Jay Hogan changes lanes for her latest book, the first in a romantic suspense series featuring two guys in their fifties who become the unwitting targets of some dangerous people when one of them discovers some unsettling facts about his late husband. The Meaning of You is a terrific read – a compelling page-turner in which the author perfectly balances both elements of the story, skilfully weaving an intriguing and suspenseful mystery together with a beautifully developing romantic relationship.
For eighteen months, forensic accountant Nick Fisher has been living in the most awful kind of limbo. Davis, his husband of thirteen years, was seriously injured in a car accident and has been existing in a persistent vegitative state ever since, his mind and soul locked in a useless body that, if there were truly a merciful God, would’ve given up its hold on him eighteen months before. It’s absolutely not what Davis would have wanted – but Nick can do nothing but watch and wait and struggle, every day, with the weight of the guilt he feels over their final phone conversation on the day of the accident.
Nick visits the care facility almost daily and is about to make his way to Davis’ room when a man, his nose in a book, almost bumps into him in the reception area. The receptionist introduces Nick to Madigan Church, whose aunt has recently moved into Golden Oaks, and Nick takes in the man’s gorgeous green eyes, his shy smile, and the hot nerdy vibes coming from him even as he’s slammed with a surge of guilt for noticing.
They don’t see each other again for several weeks, but the next time their paths cross, Madigan learns that Davis has passed away. He offers Nick a sympathetic ear any time he needs one, but Nick is prickly and clearly used to being self-sufficient, and Madigan is certainly not going to intrude or push the guy into something he doesn’t want. But as the weeks pass and he hears nothing from or of Nick, he can’t help being concerned, so, although reluctant to encroach on Nick’s privacy, he decides to go to his house to check that he’s okay.
The welcome he gets isn’t what he expected. He arrives to find the back door is hanging wide open, almost off its hinges, and voices – plural – coming from inside. He takes a few cautious steps into the house when he’s grabbed and slammed against the wall, unable to avoid the punch aimed at his head. It doesn’t land, however, and instead, an angry Nick demands to know what he’s doing there. Nick had come home from a meeting to find his house had been broken into; the police have just left and as far as he can tell, only a few small items were taken – a tablet, a couple of speakers – but the TVs, cash and expensive jewellery were left alone. It doesn’t make sense – and when Nick mentions in passing that this is the second time the house has been broken into – the first was just after Davis’ accident - Madigan can’t help feeling that’s more than a bit suspicious.
A month later, Nick is going through some of Davis’ papers when he finds receipts for a laptop and phone, paid for using a newly acquired credit card he, Nick, knew nothing about. Davis already had a laptop and phone, so it makes no sense – and why would he have bought them without saying anything? Nick immediately jumps to the obvious conclusions, but Jay Hogan is far too good and smart an author to tread that path, and what follows is a thoroughly intriguing mystery as Nick and Madigan start putting the pieces together – with the help of Nick’s brother-in-law, Samuel, a police officer – to realise that Davis had become mixed up in something he shouldn’t have and paid a terrible price. But even as they’re reaching their own conclusions about what happened, someone in the shadows is waiting to finish the job they started.
The suspense plot here is well-thought out and superbly executed; Jay Hogan skilfully builds the tension and lays out the clues for readers to follow while also dropping the odd red-herring to keep us on our toes. At the same time, she sets a corker of a romance in motion between these two, world-weary men who have experienced love and joy and heartbreak and loss, and who have to decide whether they’re willing to risk their hearts – or if they’re too set in their ways to want to go there again.
Nick is the grumpiest of grumps, and what Madigan calls being “self-contained and resolute” (read: stand-offish and pigheaded) can make him difficult to like at times. As we get to know more about him and his past, it becomes easier to understand why he would want to wall himself off and why he likes the idea of not having to deal with emotions, but he is a bit of a shit to Madigan at times and he does blow hot and cold for perhaps a bit longer than I’d have liked. He doesn’t really know what he wants – he knows Davis would want him to find someone else and be happy with them, but isn’t sure he can handle the possibility of loss and pain all over again.
Madigan, on the other hand, is like a warm blanket in human form. Kind, gentle and caring with a lot of love to give, he’s not had a lot of luck with relationships, the couple of long-term ones he’s had ending when his partner would inevitably begin to complain about him being ‘old before his time’ because he’s a homebody and prefers a quiet life. Five years earlier, and fed up with trying to make a relationship work on someone else’s terms, Madigan has decided he’s had enough of dating. It’s not that he doesn’t want someone to share his life – he very much does – but he’s not actively looking for it any more. Having someone as complicated, attractive and self-contained as Nick Fisher suddenly enter his life certainly throws the cat among the pigeons, but given what Nick has been through, and the way he pushes Madigan away one minute, only to seem to want his company the next, Madigan has to be very honest with himself about the risk to his heart Nick represents.
There’s a small but skilfully drawn cast of secondary characters, including Samuel, Madigan’s apprentice-turned-friend, Gazza, and feisty aunt Shirley, who all rally round when the shit hits the fan.
The Meaning of You is, as I said at the outset, the first in a same-couple series, and we reach a strong HFN by the end with the promise that the romance will continue in the next book. Don’t go in to this one expecting to find the author’s usual brand of earthy sexiness, because while these two have chemistry up the wazoo, there’s no bed-hopping here, and I appreciated that; Nick and Madigan have a lot of baggage between them and I liked that they are both aware of it and, realising they have real potential as a couple, want to take the time to get things right.
The Meaning of You is a poignant, beautifully written story about love, loss and moving on, combined with an emotional romance and an intriguing mystery plotline. Jay Hogan continues to prove herself to be one of the best romance authors around, and this book clearly demonstrates not only her talent but her versatility. I thoroughly enjoyed it and am really looking forward to finding out what the future has in store for Fisher & Church.
July 22, 2025
Audio:
5 stars for Gary Furlong! The audio is on Jay Hogan’s website.
Book: 3 stars
I enjoyed the suspense and the mystery, but the romance left a lot to be desired. I will probably pick up book 2 when it comes out on audio.
5 stars for Gary Furlong! The audio is on Jay Hogan’s website.
Book: 3 stars
I enjoyed the suspense and the mystery, but the romance left a lot to be desired. I will probably pick up book 2 when it comes out on audio.
April 23, 2025
Another 5-star knockout from Jay Hogan!
Honestly, Jay doesn't miss for me. I have loved all of her books- and this one was a hugely anticipated new release for me, being her first foray into romantic suspense. IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!
I knew from the prologue this book was going to be something special. Right from the start, I was drawn in to the mystery-- turning pages as fast as I could go to get to the bottom of what really happened. This story focuses on Nick, who is suffering as he navigates life after his husband Davis' death, and Madigan, a set-in-his-ways book conservator who happens to cross Nick's path during his darkest time.
This book feels so real- so vulnerable- so relatable. This one is not a fluffy romance read- instead, it is a study in grief and loss- Nick's husband Davis feels as real of a character as both Nick and Madigan-- and the path to living again is one that is riddled with pain for Nick, meaning that romance is on the back burner here as healing takes precedence.
I found the suspense aspect of this to be so well done-- Nick has uncovered clues that lead him to believe Davis' death was not an accident, and the more he tries to discover the truth, the more danger he finds himself in. Both men are in their 50s, meaning we have less of the insta-love of youth, and more of a mature, realistic (and sometimes messy-- painful--) slow burn happening as Madigan tries to be there for Nick, initially as a friend, while he battles the demons of grief.
Do not expect a steam-up-the-sheets fest from this book-- this is book one in a series, and while I can guess we will arrive at this point with these two in future installments, this book instead focused on friendship, healing, and..... a big dose of SEXUAL TENSION, which in my eyes is often preferable to insta-action. The slow fall into feelings was so beautifully written here. We have an attraction from the first time they saw one another, but Nick is really so deep in it that he can't see past his own grief. To his credit, Madigan understood all of that, and the friendship they formed was one that ended up being so important for Nick as he gravitated over and over again to Madigan without even being totally sure why.
For all of you romantic suspense lovers, the ending of this book was hold-your-breath exciting as the men find themselves in danger and pieces of the big mystery start slotting into place. I could not put it down-- and the feelings that start bubbling to the surface between the two at this point were honestly delicious. Nothing beats a good dose of "my man is in danger and I will stop at nothing to protect him...... even if up until this point I wasn't even sure that I could admit I had feelings."
This book has left me so excited for the next one... I am totally enthralled by not only the unfolding romance, but by the mystery surrounding Davis and his secrets, and also by the side characters and what the future holds for them.
Bravo to Jay for another winner- and thank for for the opportunity to read an ARC!
Honestly, Jay doesn't miss for me. I have loved all of her books- and this one was a hugely anticipated new release for me, being her first foray into romantic suspense. IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!
I knew from the prologue this book was going to be something special. Right from the start, I was drawn in to the mystery-- turning pages as fast as I could go to get to the bottom of what really happened. This story focuses on Nick, who is suffering as he navigates life after his husband Davis' death, and Madigan, a set-in-his-ways book conservator who happens to cross Nick's path during his darkest time.
This book feels so real- so vulnerable- so relatable. This one is not a fluffy romance read- instead, it is a study in grief and loss- Nick's husband Davis feels as real of a character as both Nick and Madigan-- and the path to living again is one that is riddled with pain for Nick, meaning that romance is on the back burner here as healing takes precedence.
I found the suspense aspect of this to be so well done-- Nick has uncovered clues that lead him to believe Davis' death was not an accident, and the more he tries to discover the truth, the more danger he finds himself in. Both men are in their 50s, meaning we have less of the insta-love of youth, and more of a mature, realistic (and sometimes messy-- painful--) slow burn happening as Madigan tries to be there for Nick, initially as a friend, while he battles the demons of grief.
Do not expect a steam-up-the-sheets fest from this book-- this is book one in a series, and while I can guess we will arrive at this point with these two in future installments, this book instead focused on friendship, healing, and..... a big dose of SEXUAL TENSION, which in my eyes is often preferable to insta-action. The slow fall into feelings was so beautifully written here. We have an attraction from the first time they saw one another, but Nick is really so deep in it that he can't see past his own grief. To his credit, Madigan understood all of that, and the friendship they formed was one that ended up being so important for Nick as he gravitated over and over again to Madigan without even being totally sure why.
For all of you romantic suspense lovers, the ending of this book was hold-your-breath exciting as the men find themselves in danger and pieces of the big mystery start slotting into place. I could not put it down-- and the feelings that start bubbling to the surface between the two at this point were honestly delicious. Nothing beats a good dose of "my man is in danger and I will stop at nothing to protect him...... even if up until this point I wasn't even sure that I could admit I had feelings."
This book has left me so excited for the next one... I am totally enthralled by not only the unfolding romance, but by the mystery surrounding Davis and his secrets, and also by the side characters and what the future holds for them.
Bravo to Jay for another winner- and thank for for the opportunity to read an ARC!
December 23, 2025
This was…okay…ish?
The MCs are interesting people. The backstory is heartbreaking. The side characters are fully fleshed and great. The suspense is not bad.
But I just don’t really care. About any of it.
The MCs are interesting people. The backstory is heartbreaking. The side characters are fully fleshed and great. The suspense is not bad.
But I just don’t really care. About any of it.
April 8, 2025
OMFG i absolutely fucking adored this book! This is a beautiful emotional gritty read with characters who've lived life!
The mystery and intrigue is woven through the story but adds so much depth to the relationship and just gah!
The mystery and intrigue is woven through the story but adds so much depth to the relationship and just gah!
September 24, 2025
I read romantic suspense before, of course. But I think this is the first where the story will span for more than one book. I highly enjoyed it!
I loved the complicated nature between Nick Fisher and Madigan Church, especially with they first met when Nick's husband, Davis, was in persistent vegetative state for 18 months - and later died. AND we, the readers, actually got a prologue chapter from Davis' perspective!
I also loved that the whole "secret" that Davis kept wasn't an affair - so easy to make it stereotypical like that. In fact, it made me think about the DANGER of crime authors doing their research! Like, seriously! It can be very dangerous!
Anyway, yes, I LOVED the progress of Nick and Mads relationship. I loved their characteristics. I loved their circle of family and friends. I hope Shelby, the cat, get more pages. And I definitely going to jump to book #2. Because I NEED TO KNOW the answer of
I loved the complicated nature between Nick Fisher and Madigan Church, especially with they first met when Nick's husband, Davis, was in persistent vegetative state for 18 months - and later died. AND we, the readers, actually got a prologue chapter from Davis' perspective!
I also loved that the whole "secret" that Davis kept wasn't an affair - so easy to make it stereotypical like that. In fact, it made me think about the DANGER of crime authors doing their research! Like, seriously! It can be very dangerous!
Anyway, yes, I LOVED the progress of Nick and Mads relationship. I loved their characteristics. I loved their circle of family and friends. I hope Shelby, the cat, get more pages. And I definitely going to jump to book #2. Because I NEED TO KNOW the answer of
April 17, 2025
Woah that Prologue- totally unexpected and kicks off the action and emotion that is a distinct theme across this gripping book! What a series starter!
This book has bone deep grief and mourning initially, written beautifully, almost uncomfortable in it’s vulnerability, asking you to sit with Nick and his loss. But even then the connection between him and Madigan holds you, as it slowly unfurls building an intimate friendship at first almost comforting in its telling.
The author articulates their story perfectly, it’s a soft gentle build up, at first tentative in even their inner acceptance of what they are feeling is far more than friendship. Mads is reluctant to step out if the tight narrow comfortable cocoon he’s built for himself and Nick is still very much mourning Davis and is unsure of what he can offer. But their connection is strong and Mads is the one Nick runs to when everything is careening out of control around him. Suspense is masterfully built alongside this intimacy and clues of the circumstances of Davis’s death sum up into far more than either if them bargained for. It’s a roller coaster of emotions even there as they discard one theory after another until the last catches up to them and they are in severe danger.
Expect the book to end leaving you wanting more where Mads and Nick’s relationship is concerned and more questions than answers where the mystery plot is concerned.
I did love the found family so inherent in this story from Jerry to Samuel to Gaza and Aunt Shirley. All characters are layered and loveable. Nick and Mads are pretty opposite one ornery and prickly the other a calm steady presence. I also loved reading mature characters with so much depth, still learning and growing together, valuing the sir chance at love.
Highly recommend reading this beautiful slow burn story and I’m dying for the next instalment to see what Nick and Mads get upto.
Expect:
* double silver fox
* Humour and banter
* Hurt comfort
* Suspense and mystery
* Grief and loss
* Opposites attract
* Slow burn
This book has bone deep grief and mourning initially, written beautifully, almost uncomfortable in it’s vulnerability, asking you to sit with Nick and his loss. But even then the connection between him and Madigan holds you, as it slowly unfurls building an intimate friendship at first almost comforting in its telling.
The author articulates their story perfectly, it’s a soft gentle build up, at first tentative in even their inner acceptance of what they are feeling is far more than friendship. Mads is reluctant to step out if the tight narrow comfortable cocoon he’s built for himself and Nick is still very much mourning Davis and is unsure of what he can offer. But their connection is strong and Mads is the one Nick runs to when everything is careening out of control around him. Suspense is masterfully built alongside this intimacy and clues of the circumstances of Davis’s death sum up into far more than either if them bargained for. It’s a roller coaster of emotions even there as they discard one theory after another until the last catches up to them and they are in severe danger.
Expect the book to end leaving you wanting more where Mads and Nick’s relationship is concerned and more questions than answers where the mystery plot is concerned.
I did love the found family so inherent in this story from Jerry to Samuel to Gaza and Aunt Shirley. All characters are layered and loveable. Nick and Mads are pretty opposite one ornery and prickly the other a calm steady presence. I also loved reading mature characters with so much depth, still learning and growing together, valuing the sir chance at love.
Highly recommend reading this beautiful slow burn story and I’m dying for the next instalment to see what Nick and Mads get upto.
Expect:
* double silver fox
* Humour and banter
* Hurt comfort
* Suspense and mystery
* Grief and loss
* Opposites attract
* Slow burn
July 22, 2025
My review of the ebook edition of this one is HERE (this is a shortened version with comments about the narration added.)
Jay Hogan changes lanes for her latest book, the first in a romantic suspense series featuring two guys in their fifties who become the unwitting targets of some dangerous people when one of them discovers some unsettling facts about his late husband. The Meaning of You is a compelling listen in which the author skilfully weaves an intriguing and suspenseful mystery together with a beautifully developing romantic relationship.
The suspense plot here is well-thought out and superbly executed; Jay Hogan skilfully builds the tension and lays out the clues for listeners to follow while also dropping the odd red-herring to keep us on our toes. At the same time, she sets a corker of a romance in motion between these two, world-weary men who have experienced love and joy and heartbreak and loss, and who have to decide whether they’re willing to risk their hearts – or if they’re too set in their ways to want to go there again.
Nick is the grumpiest of grumps, and what Madigan calls being “self-contained and resolute” (read: stand-offish and pigheaded) can make him difficult to like at times. As we get to know more about him and his past, it becomes easier to understand why he would want to wall himself off and why he likes the idea of not having to deal with emotions, but he blows hot and cold towards Madigan for longer than I’d have liked. Madigan, on the other hand, is like a warm blanket in human form. Kind, gentle and caring with a lot of love to give, he’s not had a lot of luck with relationships, the couple of long-term ones he’s had ending when his partner would inevitably begin to complain about him being ‘old before his time’ because he’s a homebody and prefers a quiet life. Having someone as complicated, attractive and self-contained as Nick Fisher suddenly enter his life - who pushes him away one minute, only to seem to want his company the next - Madigan has to be very honest with himself about the risk to his heart Nick represents and realise he has to be prepared to walk away if he has to.
As this is the first in a same-couple series, don’t go in expecting lots of sex and/or an HEA, because while these guys have chemistry by the bucket-load there’s no bed-hopping here, which makes sense. Nick and Madigan have a lot of baggage to sort out, and I liked that they are both aware of it and, realising they have real potential as a couple, want to take the time to get things right.
Gary Furlong is a terrific vocal actor who can always be relied upon to deliver an excellent performance, and he’s at his very best here. Perhaps even better than ‘best’. He’s been narrating for Jay Hogan for several years now, so he absolutely gets her style and really knows how to bring out the humour and the pathos in her writing while delivering an expressive and nuanced performance. Given the nature of this story, there are a lot of intense emotions – some overt, some understated and/or unsaid - and all those moments are perfectly – and expertly – judged. The two leads are superbly characterised, too, Nick’s lower-pitched growly tone aptly depicting his anger and frustration with life, while the lighter notes of Madigan’s voice show him as more easy-going, and the growing connection between them comes through really strongly. The secondary cast is appropriately and consistently voiced and the differentiation is excellent; shout out to his portrayal of Madigan’s feisty aunt Shirley and the obviously loving relationship between them.
The Meaning of You is a poignant and beautifully written story about love, loss and moving on, combined with an emotional romance and an intriguing mystery plotline. Add in the flawless performance by Gary Furlong, and you’ve got a superlative audio experience.
Jay Hogan changes lanes for her latest book, the first in a romantic suspense series featuring two guys in their fifties who become the unwitting targets of some dangerous people when one of them discovers some unsettling facts about his late husband. The Meaning of You is a compelling listen in which the author skilfully weaves an intriguing and suspenseful mystery together with a beautifully developing romantic relationship.
The suspense plot here is well-thought out and superbly executed; Jay Hogan skilfully builds the tension and lays out the clues for listeners to follow while also dropping the odd red-herring to keep us on our toes. At the same time, she sets a corker of a romance in motion between these two, world-weary men who have experienced love and joy and heartbreak and loss, and who have to decide whether they’re willing to risk their hearts – or if they’re too set in their ways to want to go there again.
Nick is the grumpiest of grumps, and what Madigan calls being “self-contained and resolute” (read: stand-offish and pigheaded) can make him difficult to like at times. As we get to know more about him and his past, it becomes easier to understand why he would want to wall himself off and why he likes the idea of not having to deal with emotions, but he blows hot and cold towards Madigan for longer than I’d have liked. Madigan, on the other hand, is like a warm blanket in human form. Kind, gentle and caring with a lot of love to give, he’s not had a lot of luck with relationships, the couple of long-term ones he’s had ending when his partner would inevitably begin to complain about him being ‘old before his time’ because he’s a homebody and prefers a quiet life. Having someone as complicated, attractive and self-contained as Nick Fisher suddenly enter his life - who pushes him away one minute, only to seem to want his company the next - Madigan has to be very honest with himself about the risk to his heart Nick represents and realise he has to be prepared to walk away if he has to.
As this is the first in a same-couple series, don’t go in expecting lots of sex and/or an HEA, because while these guys have chemistry by the bucket-load there’s no bed-hopping here, which makes sense. Nick and Madigan have a lot of baggage to sort out, and I liked that they are both aware of it and, realising they have real potential as a couple, want to take the time to get things right.
Gary Furlong is a terrific vocal actor who can always be relied upon to deliver an excellent performance, and he’s at his very best here. Perhaps even better than ‘best’. He’s been narrating for Jay Hogan for several years now, so he absolutely gets her style and really knows how to bring out the humour and the pathos in her writing while delivering an expressive and nuanced performance. Given the nature of this story, there are a lot of intense emotions – some overt, some understated and/or unsaid - and all those moments are perfectly – and expertly – judged. The two leads are superbly characterised, too, Nick’s lower-pitched growly tone aptly depicting his anger and frustration with life, while the lighter notes of Madigan’s voice show him as more easy-going, and the growing connection between them comes through really strongly. The secondary cast is appropriately and consistently voiced and the differentiation is excellent; shout out to his portrayal of Madigan’s feisty aunt Shirley and the obviously loving relationship between them.
The Meaning of You is a poignant and beautifully written story about love, loss and moving on, combined with an emotional romance and an intriguing mystery plotline. Add in the flawless performance by Gary Furlong, and you’ve got a superlative audio experience.
May 1, 2025
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.25 stars
The Meaning of You starts a new series from Jay Hogan and I was all in right from the prologue, which is told from Davis’ point of view. That is all we get from Davis until tragedy strikes. Nick is left grieving and when he starts going through Davis’ belongings, he sees things that don’t add up. When Nick and Madigan meet, Nick is not a good friend to Madigan. He’s lost and grumpy and really can’t see anyone else’s feelings. He also feels guilty that he feels something for Madigan and he has no intention of examining that further.
The highlight for me was the relationship between Nick and Madigan and watching their personal interactions. There is a second book for Madigan and Nick and as the main storyline will continue into that book, maybe more questions will be answered there. I will look forward to watching their relationship develop more.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
4.25 stars
The Meaning of You starts a new series from Jay Hogan and I was all in right from the prologue, which is told from Davis’ point of view. That is all we get from Davis until tragedy strikes. Nick is left grieving and when he starts going through Davis’ belongings, he sees things that don’t add up. When Nick and Madigan meet, Nick is not a good friend to Madigan. He’s lost and grumpy and really can’t see anyone else’s feelings. He also feels guilty that he feels something for Madigan and he has no intention of examining that further.
The highlight for me was the relationship between Nick and Madigan and watching their personal interactions. There is a second book for Madigan and Nick and as the main storyline will continue into that book, maybe more questions will be answered there. I will look forward to watching their relationship develop more.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
April 30, 2025
3.5 - While I did like the first 40%, it just didn’t hold much interest for me. The emotions throughout the first part of the book were so thoughtfully written and compelling. Unfortunately, I lost interest and the mystery didn’t hold my attention.
I did like the MCs. I just wanted more emotion throughout the book. I suppose it was a bit unbalanced for my liking.
I did like the MCs. I just wanted more emotion throughout the book. I suppose it was a bit unbalanced for my liking.
April 29, 2025
Meaning of You by Jay Hogan is book 1 of Fisher & Church series. Nick Fisher’s husband, Davis, was in an automobile accident that put him into a persistent vegetative state. For the past eighteen months, Nick has been stuck in this weird in-between place where his husband is not gone but is not here either. He meets Madigan Church at the nursing home where Davis and Madigan’s aunt reside. This was a phenomenal beginning to the series and I could not put it down. There is a mystery around Davis’s accident and Nick and Madigan are smack in the middle of it.
It was so refreshing to see mature characters having feelings for each other (one more open than the other). I loved both characters so much for different reasons. Nick had gone through so much and he loved his husband more than anything. The fact that he was attracted to another man messed him up and his internal dialogue and his behavior made so much sense. It was so real.
Madigan was sweet and patient and the man that Nick needed (even if he didn’t want to admit it). I understand where both men were coming from. The side characters were great and I look forward to seeing what happens with Lee. Is he safe? Will Nick and Mads be able to rescue him? I know that the road will not be easy for them. Nick is still grieving even if he does care for Madigan. The writing is so beautiful and I cannot wait to see where Jay takes us next.
I received an ARC from Neon Rainbow Reviewers for my honest review
It was so refreshing to see mature characters having feelings for each other (one more open than the other). I loved both characters so much for different reasons. Nick had gone through so much and he loved his husband more than anything. The fact that he was attracted to another man messed him up and his internal dialogue and his behavior made so much sense. It was so real.
Madigan was sweet and patient and the man that Nick needed (even if he didn’t want to admit it). I understand where both men were coming from. The side characters were great and I look forward to seeing what happens with Lee. Is he safe? Will Nick and Mads be able to rescue him? I know that the road will not be easy for them. Nick is still grieving even if he does care for Madigan. The writing is so beautiful and I cannot wait to see where Jay takes us next.
I received an ARC from Neon Rainbow Reviewers for my honest review
June 26, 2025
New favorite by Jay Hogan!
I loved the Mackenzie Country series—it was emotional (but not the most angsty), romantic, and fun.
I am salivating for the FISHER & CHURCH series because it’s all of those things, except with MORE angst and an added element of suspense and danger that kept me on the edge of my seat from page one.
We all know that I enjoy books that are well-written. Jay Hogan’s voice and sense of self allows their writing to be incredibly complex and nuanced. The characters feel so real, the story fully jumping off the page and straight into your heart.
I really loved that a majority of the characters were 50+! Just like in Hollywood, or literally anywhere, people forget that anyone from any age can have feelings or exist as it is. That representation was so so lovely. And so important. Life happens at every and any age.
The romance!!!!! IT WAS SO EARNED. It was handled so delicately because of what goes down (no spoilers here!) and it felt so perfect and like I said, completely and utterly earned. This is definitely more of a slow burn; however, the chemistry is jumping off the page from the beginning.
I’m so invested in where the rest of the stories go. I cannot wait for September when book 2 is released!!!
Thank you Jay Hogan for the ARC!! 🫶🏼
I loved the Mackenzie Country series—it was emotional (but not the most angsty), romantic, and fun.
I am salivating for the FISHER & CHURCH series because it’s all of those things, except with MORE angst and an added element of suspense and danger that kept me on the edge of my seat from page one.
We all know that I enjoy books that are well-written. Jay Hogan’s voice and sense of self allows their writing to be incredibly complex and nuanced. The characters feel so real, the story fully jumping off the page and straight into your heart.
I really loved that a majority of the characters were 50+! Just like in Hollywood, or literally anywhere, people forget that anyone from any age can have feelings or exist as it is. That representation was so so lovely. And so important. Life happens at every and any age.
The romance!!!!! IT WAS SO EARNED. It was handled so delicately because of what goes down (no spoilers here!) and it felt so perfect and like I said, completely and utterly earned. This is definitely more of a slow burn; however, the chemistry is jumping off the page from the beginning.
I’m so invested in where the rest of the stories go. I cannot wait for September when book 2 is released!!!
Thank you Jay Hogan for the ARC!! 🫶🏼
May 19, 2025
Ok, so this was great to read. I went into it somewhat reluctantly because I wasn't sure about the premise but the two MCs won me over. The mystery bit is interesting without making it over the top (so far) and it's easy to follow, leaving room for the MCs relationship to evolve. Looking forward to the next book.
April 29, 2025
Interesting Thriller
This was such an entertaining and interesting thriller of a story. It was very emotional at times but it all made for a great story. I can't wait for book two.
I received an ARC and this is my unbiased opinion
This was such an entertaining and interesting thriller of a story. It was very emotional at times but it all made for a great story. I can't wait for book two.
I received an ARC and this is my unbiased opinion
abandoned
June 18, 2025I really wanted to enjoy this as I love murder/mystery with romance but I'm just not invested at over 40% in.
September 10, 2025
4.5⭐⭐⭐⭐✨
This was so good! I can't wait for book 2.
This was so good! I can't wait for book 2.
December 14, 2025
*audio on hoopla*
i- rtc because why would jay make this a three part series? like my heart can’t take it. i need to know what’s going on lol.
i- rtc because why would jay make this a three part series? like my heart can’t take it. i need to know what’s going on lol.
April 24, 2025
4.5 stars
I'm always excited for a new series by Jay Hogan And when I found out that this one was a the start of romantic suspense series that would be following the same couple my excitement skyrocketed. (Seriously those are my favorite 🥰) The Meaning of You introduces Nick, who is going through one the most heartbreaking struggles, and Madigan , a man who discovers he's much more lonely than he thought. A slooow burn romance between men in their 50's filled with hurt/comfort, grief, love after loss, good story pacing and an unexpected danger two men never could have imagined being in. I can't wait for more Morigan and Nick in the future ! 💙
Favorite Qoutes:
I’d always been a sucker for intellect, a highly underrated sexual turn- on, in my humble opinion, and I’d bet my bottom dollar this guy had it in spades.
“Hi, I’m Madigan Church. Book conservator, introverted social disaster, bibliophile, and reasonably nice guy, I’m told, all things considered.”
“Nice to meet you, Madigan Church. I’m Nick Fisher. Forensic accountant, ditto the social- disaster part but for very different reasons, current emotional mess, and according to the few friends— who for reasons known only to themselves have stuck around my cranky arse— not a reasonably nice guy and definitely a work in progress.”
I fell into his soft smile, and that razor- sharp pain in my chest dulled a little, just enough to know I wouldn’t be calling Madigan Church to talk . . . ever. He was far too dangerous. Besides, I wanted the pain. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to drown in my memories and my guilt until I couldn’t fucking breathe.
How Madigan and I . . . connected in some strange way that wasn’t too dissimilar to Davis and me. Same, same, but so very different. Sliding doors. Entering and leaving. It was intriguing and disturbing to say the least, and crazy at best.
Nick Fisher was anything but zen. In fact, Nick Fisher was the antithesis of zen. Irritating, opinionated, prickly, hard to read, confusing, and . . . grieving, I reminded myself. He was very much grieving.
I blinked and looked down, stunned at the force of my craving to do exactly that. To protect this man. To keep him safe until the world was a gentler place for him to breathe again.
“It’s not just a name,” he said, almost sternly. “It’s your name. And that means it’s important because you’re important. Because you matter, Madigan. And you get to choose how people address you.”
I wasn’t a kid anymore and I didn’t do flustered, but Nick Fisher was giving me emotional whiplash. An arsehole one minute and a freaking mallow puff the next.
All I knew was that Nick Fisher troubled my heart in ways I didn’t understand. In ways that completely fucking terrified me.
We fit together like we were made to. Sharp angles and soft curves learning to mesh and ride the other. He felt good in my arms. Too good. So fucking good.
The questions I’d ached over, the doubts and the guilt, all fading into a single kiss. The mysterious world of Madigan Church was mine for the taking.
“I love these smile lines.” He tipped my head down to kiss the corners of both eyes, then let me go. “You put on this big grumpy act, but those lines tell a different story. They speak of a big heart and big emotions. Whatever you feel— sadness, laughter, fear, anger— it’s all supersized and maybe a bit scary. So, you lock it down, shut the door, and set those spikes in place. But you don’t fool me, Nick Fisher.” He looked me in the eye and tapped my forehead. “I see you in there.” One of his hands moved to cover my heart. “And I feel you in here. You’ve got so much more to give and you’re gonna be okay.”
Hold on, baby. Hold on. We’re coming. I shook my head at the endearment because, really? It was never a name I’d used with Davis. He’d hated it. But with Mads it fit somehow. He was blunt and independent to a fault, sure, but in many ways, he felt more vulnerable than Davis ever had. This is crazy.
Nick Fisher had some explaining to do, dragging all this shit into my nice orderly life. I was a book conservator, for fuck’s sake, not Jack fucking Ryan.
I'm always excited for a new series by Jay Hogan And when I found out that this one was a the start of romantic suspense series that would be following the same couple my excitement skyrocketed. (Seriously those are my favorite 🥰) The Meaning of You introduces Nick, who is going through one the most heartbreaking struggles, and Madigan , a man who discovers he's much more lonely than he thought. A slooow burn romance between men in their 50's filled with hurt/comfort, grief, love after loss, good story pacing and an unexpected danger two men never could have imagined being in. I can't wait for more Morigan and Nick in the future ! 💙
Favorite Qoutes:
I’d always been a sucker for intellect, a highly underrated sexual turn- on, in my humble opinion, and I’d bet my bottom dollar this guy had it in spades.
“Hi, I’m Madigan Church. Book conservator, introverted social disaster, bibliophile, and reasonably nice guy, I’m told, all things considered.”
“Nice to meet you, Madigan Church. I’m Nick Fisher. Forensic accountant, ditto the social- disaster part but for very different reasons, current emotional mess, and according to the few friends— who for reasons known only to themselves have stuck around my cranky arse— not a reasonably nice guy and definitely a work in progress.”
I fell into his soft smile, and that razor- sharp pain in my chest dulled a little, just enough to know I wouldn’t be calling Madigan Church to talk . . . ever. He was far too dangerous. Besides, I wanted the pain. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to drown in my memories and my guilt until I couldn’t fucking breathe.
How Madigan and I . . . connected in some strange way that wasn’t too dissimilar to Davis and me. Same, same, but so very different. Sliding doors. Entering and leaving. It was intriguing and disturbing to say the least, and crazy at best.
Nick Fisher was anything but zen. In fact, Nick Fisher was the antithesis of zen. Irritating, opinionated, prickly, hard to read, confusing, and . . . grieving, I reminded myself. He was very much grieving.
I blinked and looked down, stunned at the force of my craving to do exactly that. To protect this man. To keep him safe until the world was a gentler place for him to breathe again.
“It’s not just a name,” he said, almost sternly. “It’s your name. And that means it’s important because you’re important. Because you matter, Madigan. And you get to choose how people address you.”
I wasn’t a kid anymore and I didn’t do flustered, but Nick Fisher was giving me emotional whiplash. An arsehole one minute and a freaking mallow puff the next.
All I knew was that Nick Fisher troubled my heart in ways I didn’t understand. In ways that completely fucking terrified me.
We fit together like we were made to. Sharp angles and soft curves learning to mesh and ride the other. He felt good in my arms. Too good. So fucking good.
The questions I’d ached over, the doubts and the guilt, all fading into a single kiss. The mysterious world of Madigan Church was mine for the taking.
“I love these smile lines.” He tipped my head down to kiss the corners of both eyes, then let me go. “You put on this big grumpy act, but those lines tell a different story. They speak of a big heart and big emotions. Whatever you feel— sadness, laughter, fear, anger— it’s all supersized and maybe a bit scary. So, you lock it down, shut the door, and set those spikes in place. But you don’t fool me, Nick Fisher.” He looked me in the eye and tapped my forehead. “I see you in there.” One of his hands moved to cover my heart. “And I feel you in here. You’ve got so much more to give and you’re gonna be okay.”
Hold on, baby. Hold on. We’re coming. I shook my head at the endearment because, really? It was never a name I’d used with Davis. He’d hated it. But with Mads it fit somehow. He was blunt and independent to a fault, sure, but in many ways, he felt more vulnerable than Davis ever had. This is crazy.
Nick Fisher had some explaining to do, dragging all this shit into my nice orderly life. I was a book conservator, for fuck’s sake, not Jack fucking Ryan.
April 12, 2025
Fantastic romantic suspense.
Every now and then I find myself reading a book and thinking “how do I write a review that gives this masterpiece the accolades it deserves.” This is one such book. Jay Hogan has written a brilliant romantic suspense novel that kept me turning the pages wanting more. More of the story, more of the grieving irritable grump Nick and the introverted bibliophile Madigan, more of the intrigue and more of the bits that made me laugh and the bits that gave me so many feels.
Circumstances have these two wonderful mid fifties silver foxes crossing paths and so begins a page turning story with intrigue, drama, suspense and romantic tension as Nick and Madigan navigate through these elements to get what they both want, a chance at love. It’s certainly not an easy pathway with plenty of external and internal angst filled bumps along the way but rest assured, Nick and a Madigan do get a very satisfying HFN. Nick and Madigan have more adventure heading their way and I will try and be as patient as possible waiting for the next instalment.
Every now and then I find myself reading a book and thinking “how do I write a review that gives this masterpiece the accolades it deserves.” This is one such book. Jay Hogan has written a brilliant romantic suspense novel that kept me turning the pages wanting more. More of the story, more of the grieving irritable grump Nick and the introverted bibliophile Madigan, more of the intrigue and more of the bits that made me laugh and the bits that gave me so many feels.
Circumstances have these two wonderful mid fifties silver foxes crossing paths and so begins a page turning story with intrigue, drama, suspense and romantic tension as Nick and Madigan navigate through these elements to get what they both want, a chance at love. It’s certainly not an easy pathway with plenty of external and internal angst filled bumps along the way but rest assured, Nick and a Madigan do get a very satisfying HFN. Nick and Madigan have more adventure heading their way and I will try and be as patient as possible waiting for the next instalment.
April 28, 2025
Rating: 4.5
Steam: 2
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: romantic suspense, MM
Tropes / tags: hurt / comfort, mystery, slow burn
The Meaning of You was a powerful and intriguing start to Jay Hogan's new series!
I probably should have been better prepared for the emotional impact of this one, I have to admit it caught me a little bit off guard. The very first chapters that focused more on Nick and Davis were heartbreaking, and Nick's grief and spiralling after losing Davis was difficult to read. I loved to see Nick and Madigan's connection in those moments though, Madigan trying to be there for Nick and checking in on him.
Nick was ornery at best, and while it was frustrating at times, I loved his grumpiness. Madigan had a ton of patience, but wasn't afraid to call Nick out when needed, and he was clear with his boundaries. While they shared a bit of an instant connecting, it took quite some time before anything intimate happened between them. Their relationship development was a magnificent slow burn with a lot of tension, along with some hesitation. I really liked them together and felt all giddy at the first signs of affection between them.
The suspense plot started in the prologue, and it built slowly but steady until it really took off later on. It was easy to become intrigued by the story along with the discoveries Nick made while going through Davis' things. I can't wait to learn more about what he was up to and what's really going on, as well as seeing more of Nick and Madigan's relationship!
The Meaning of You was an intricate story with complex characters, and I enjoyed every page of it! A fantastic start to the Fisher & Church series, and I honestly couldn't be more psyched for the next part of Nick and Madigan's story. I highly recommend this one if you're in the mood for a great romantic suspense ending with a HFN (no cliffhanger, I promise).
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I received an advanced copy of this book, and these are my honest thoughts and opinions.
Steam: 2
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: romantic suspense, MM
Tropes / tags: hurt / comfort, mystery, slow burn
The Meaning of You was a powerful and intriguing start to Jay Hogan's new series!
I probably should have been better prepared for the emotional impact of this one, I have to admit it caught me a little bit off guard. The very first chapters that focused more on Nick and Davis were heartbreaking, and Nick's grief and spiralling after losing Davis was difficult to read. I loved to see Nick and Madigan's connection in those moments though, Madigan trying to be there for Nick and checking in on him.
Nick was ornery at best, and while it was frustrating at times, I loved his grumpiness. Madigan had a ton of patience, but wasn't afraid to call Nick out when needed, and he was clear with his boundaries. While they shared a bit of an instant connecting, it took quite some time before anything intimate happened between them. Their relationship development was a magnificent slow burn with a lot of tension, along with some hesitation. I really liked them together and felt all giddy at the first signs of affection between them.
The suspense plot started in the prologue, and it built slowly but steady until it really took off later on. It was easy to become intrigued by the story along with the discoveries Nick made while going through Davis' things. I can't wait to learn more about what he was up to and what's really going on, as well as seeing more of Nick and Madigan's relationship!
The Meaning of You was an intricate story with complex characters, and I enjoyed every page of it! A fantastic start to the Fisher & Church series, and I honestly couldn't be more psyched for the next part of Nick and Madigan's story. I highly recommend this one if you're in the mood for a great romantic suspense ending with a HFN (no cliffhanger, I promise).
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I received an advanced copy of this book, and these are my honest thoughts and opinions.
September 3, 2025
This is a mystery / suspense romance, featuring Nick Fisher and Madigan Church, and is book one in the Fisher & Church series.
After losing his husband of fourteen years, Nick discovers Davis had secrets - hidden laptops, cryptic emails, and a dangerous truth someone is willing to kill for. With Madigan by his side, Nick is pulled into a twisting mystery where attraction and danger collide, forcing him to question love, trust, and survival.
A real slow burn with the romance taking a backseat to the mystery. Nick’s grief felt raw and real, and I loved how steady and supportive Madigan was with him. The suspense kept me guessing the whole way through, and the twists, secrets, and danger kept me hooked.
Things to expect in this book are:
Book 1 in series
MM romance
Mystery / suspense
Slow burn
Hurt / Comfort
Widower
Secrets
Protective MC
Cat dad
Kidnapping
New love after loss
HEA
After losing his husband of fourteen years, Nick discovers Davis had secrets - hidden laptops, cryptic emails, and a dangerous truth someone is willing to kill for. With Madigan by his side, Nick is pulled into a twisting mystery where attraction and danger collide, forcing him to question love, trust, and survival.
A real slow burn with the romance taking a backseat to the mystery. Nick’s grief felt raw and real, and I loved how steady and supportive Madigan was with him. The suspense kept me guessing the whole way through, and the twists, secrets, and danger kept me hooked.
Things to expect in this book are:
Book 1 in series
MM romance
Mystery / suspense
Slow burn
Hurt / Comfort
Widower
Secrets
Protective MC
Cat dad
Kidnapping
New love after loss
HEA
June 18, 2025
Nick • Madigan
….
“I see you in there.” - “And I feel you in here.” ♾️.
….
Yeah Jay - anticipation is everything, I can’t wait for the second part <3.
….
“Nite, Madigan. Drive safely, please.” // “Will you?” // “That maybe our courage lies in not needing an answer. Being content to leave the book open and wonder.” // “Then I committed that gentle face and those pretty eyes to memory…” // “True, but I’m not wasting excellent wine or whisky on your jaded palette.” // “He smiled gently. The kind of smile that wrapped around your heart like cotton wool. The kind that promised you a soft place to fall if only you’d take a chance.” // “I wasn’t sure what to think about the chances of something so fragile surviving, but there it was.” // “The mysterious world of Madigan Church was mine for the taking.” // “Anticipation is everything.” …
….
….
“I see you in there.” - “And I feel you in here.” ♾️.
….
Yeah Jay - anticipation is everything, I can’t wait for the second part <3.
….
“Nite, Madigan. Drive safely, please.” // “Will you?” // “That maybe our courage lies in not needing an answer. Being content to leave the book open and wonder.” // “Then I committed that gentle face and those pretty eyes to memory…” // “True, but I’m not wasting excellent wine or whisky on your jaded palette.” // “He smiled gently. The kind of smile that wrapped around your heart like cotton wool. The kind that promised you a soft place to fall if only you’d take a chance.” // “I wasn’t sure what to think about the chances of something so fragile surviving, but there it was.” // “The mysterious world of Madigan Church was mine for the taking.” // “Anticipation is everything.” …
….
October 3, 2025
I did enjoy this book a lot and I think it was very well written, but I'm going to wait a while before starting book 2, even though we've barely reached a hfn at the end of this one. There was some funny banter here and there, but mostly this story felt very heavy. Understandable, since Nick became a widower during the story, but it made the story very sad. Since this book ended only 3 months after Davis' death (though Nick had been sort of grieving a lot longer, since Davis had been in a coma for 18 months), we never made it out of the heavy grief period. Nick felt a lot of guilt and fear about his connection with Madigan, so even at the end there's no joyous coming together, but them moving forward with Davis still playing a very large role. Again, understandable, but I need some fluffy kittens right now to get over this.
April 30, 2025
4.5 stars
August 6, 2025
First, I am a huge fan of every book written by Jay Hogan. But I haven’t been so moved by a book in a very long time! From the first page, I was captivated. Crying in the first 30 minutes of listening… sheesh. Gary Furlong does a fantastic job, as usual.
This first book ended with a very satisfying yet intriguing ending. I can hardly wait for the second in the series. I hope everyone reads (or listens to) this one!
This first book ended with a very satisfying yet intriguing ending. I can hardly wait for the second in the series. I hope everyone reads (or listens to) this one!
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