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Oriented to Faith: Transforming the Conflict over Gay Relationships
Rather than embracing the conflict around gay relationships as an opportunity for the church to talk honestly about human sexuality, Christians continue to hurt one another with the same tired arguments that divide us along predictable political battle lines. If the world is to "know that we are Christians by our love," the church needs to discover better ways to live out the deep unity we share in Christ as we engage with politics and our world. In Oriented to Faith, Tim Otto tells the story of his struggle with being gay and what that taught him about the gospel. With an authentic and compelling personal voice, Tim invites us to explore how God is at work in the world, even amidst the most difficult circumstances, redeeming and transforming the church through this difficult debate. With gentle wisdom and compassionate insight, Tim invites all followers of Jesus to consider how we might work with God through these tensions so that all can be transformed by God's good news in and through Christ. "Tim Otto is the rare voice in the church's conversation about human sexuality who gives me hope that despite all the pain and confusion, we who bear with one another may learn what it means to be Christian." --Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, author of Strangers at My Door "Tim Otto brings a unique, wise, and honest perspective to the church's polarized debate on homosexuality. His strong love for the church and concern for its unity underlie this challenge to stay connected with Christians holding varying convictions on how best to love LGBTQ sisters and brothers. Tim has been a valued consultant in our fellowship's journey to hear one another well as we work from different perspectives on this divisive issue." --Sally Schreiner Youngquist, community leader of Reba Place Fellowship, Evanston, IL "Current debates about sexuality and religion are tearing communities of faith apart. Tim Otto has wrestled with the issues at stake, both theologically and personally, over many decades. He has something surprising, hopeful, and challenging to say to folks on all sides. Oriented to Faith invites us into a fuller imagination of what it might mean to be the beloved community. Throughout this book, Tim is a gentle and masterful host for the honest and tender conversations that families and churches must have today." --Mark Scandrette, author of Practicing the Way of Jesus Tim Otto is a pastor at the Church of the Sojourners, a live-together Christian community in San Francisco. He holds a Masters of Theological Studies from Duke Divinity School and a BS in Nursing from the University of San Francisco. Tim worked on the first AIDS ward in the United States as a registered nurse for fourteen years. He is coauthor of Inhabiting the Biblical Wisdom for a New Monasticism.
156 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 7, 2014
23 people are currently reading
306 people want to read
About the author
Tim Otto
4 books14 followersTim Otto is a pastor at The Church of the Sojourners, a live-together Christian community in San Francisco. Tim worked as a Registered Nurse on the first AIDS ward in the United States for fourteen years.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
December 9, 2014
A great book that can truly claim to be unique among so many others that beat this issue like a dead horse. First, let me say that my respect for Tim Otto is huge. In a nation full of Christians who love their religion so long as it doesn't require anything from them ("just say this little prayer with me and let's go to heaven!"), Tim Otto has made self-sacrifices as a gay Christian that make it impossible for anyone to question whether or not he's a "real Christian." The great strength of this book comes from its honest critique of both sides of the Christian church on the question of homosexuality:
"Do most conservative churches honor singleness and provide a healthy and vibrant body-life that makes celibacy thinkable for gays and lesbians? If not, we are being hypocrites. Do most liberal churches provide the mutual support and accountability that makes a lifelong fidelity for gays and lesbians more achievable? If not, we are being hypocrites. Because most churches don't live in a way that makes the ethic they are espousing possible, our churches are asking people to swim in air rather than providing the water to make swimming possible."
If this is an issue you're interested in, read this book. Not surprisingly, it comes from a tiny publisher, but I would guess that has more to do with controversy than content, as Otto is eloquent and honest throughout.
"Do most conservative churches honor singleness and provide a healthy and vibrant body-life that makes celibacy thinkable for gays and lesbians? If not, we are being hypocrites. Do most liberal churches provide the mutual support and accountability that makes a lifelong fidelity for gays and lesbians more achievable? If not, we are being hypocrites. Because most churches don't live in a way that makes the ethic they are espousing possible, our churches are asking people to swim in air rather than providing the water to make swimming possible."
If this is an issue you're interested in, read this book. Not surprisingly, it comes from a tiny publisher, but I would guess that has more to do with controversy than content, as Otto is eloquent and honest throughout.
December 10, 2014
The hot conversation around sexuality suddenly exploded in our congregation a few weeks back.
I was very grateful that C had already ordered Oriented to Faith for me when she saw our former pastor Sally Youngquist had blurbed it positively. Very grateful.
Tim Otto weaves his own story as a gay Christian in and around helpful reflections on the state of the acrimonious debate about LGBT folks and churches. He convincingly refuses to "take a side" and instead highlights the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of the seeming binary.
I especially appreciated the chapters on--well, honestly, I appreciated all of the chapters! Otto's reflections on the role of the economy in upsetting traditional family structures is great, but so are his five suggestions for a traditionalist church (like mine) for moving beyond a stalemated debate.
Fellow MCCanada pastors, read this book! Friends back in the States, also a good read for you.
More and more my heart is drawn to where Otto ends: with Jesus prayer for that we "all be one" and receive God's kingdom (rather than a rubber stamp divine approval for our conservative/progressive ideologies). May we make Jesus' joy complete!
I was very grateful that C had already ordered Oriented to Faith for me when she saw our former pastor Sally Youngquist had blurbed it positively. Very grateful.
Tim Otto weaves his own story as a gay Christian in and around helpful reflections on the state of the acrimonious debate about LGBT folks and churches. He convincingly refuses to "take a side" and instead highlights the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of the seeming binary.
I especially appreciated the chapters on--well, honestly, I appreciated all of the chapters! Otto's reflections on the role of the economy in upsetting traditional family structures is great, but so are his five suggestions for a traditionalist church (like mine) for moving beyond a stalemated debate.
Fellow MCCanada pastors, read this book! Friends back in the States, also a good read for you.
More and more my heart is drawn to where Otto ends: with Jesus prayer for that we "all be one" and receive God's kingdom (rather than a rubber stamp divine approval for our conservative/progressive ideologies). May we make Jesus' joy complete!
February 22, 2015
Good News. Third Way. Grace upon Grace. Surprising upending of tired dualities. Read it, no matter how made up you think your mind is, no matter how certain you are that you know God's will.
September 14, 2014
This is an excellent book that will likely challenge you whatever your stance ons ame- sex relationships. I highly recommend it.
November 18, 2016
With humility and vulnerability, Otto convicts and comforts the church struggling to figure out how to live as a family. A necessary read if we are ever going to move beyond the arguments.
April 4, 2022
I cannot recommend this book enough. Otto’s thoughts on sexuality, unity in the church and us belonging to one another are convicting and refreshing
March 2, 2024
At every turn, Otto calls us to faithfulness. His analysis of the polarized viewpoints is a needed corrective and fundamentally shifted me. Having lived in this conversation for 40 years, this is the #1 resource I recommend to others.
January 11, 2015
Truly, this is one of the best books I've ever read.
It is certainly no secret that this controversial issue has been discussed and debated to the point that it is driving wedges between Christians and non-Christians alike. I think for that reason alone, this is an important read for Christians of any sexual orientation.
Mr. Otto states up front that he is not going to give the reader an answer as to whether or not it's "right" or "wrong" to be gay. Instead, he presents different views as to what a family can look like from a historical perspective -- far, far different from our modern nuclear family -- and how a family can look from a Biblical perspective. He also gives a number of different ideas to encourage LGBT inclusion within the church that focus on making people in the LGBT community feel safe and loved. Additionally, he also explains the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of the debate, offering suggestions for improvement on both sides.
I highlighted dozens of passages in this book, because at the end of the day, I am not responsible for anyone else but myself. Instead of being concerned about what someone else is doing in his or her bedroom, I need to be concerned with how I show God's love to other people -- and that really is one of the messages this book is attempting to convey. The questions that the author poses to the reader are thought-provoking and deep, and are questions we should be asking of ourselves and our church communities.
It is certainly no secret that this controversial issue has been discussed and debated to the point that it is driving wedges between Christians and non-Christians alike. I think for that reason alone, this is an important read for Christians of any sexual orientation.
Mr. Otto states up front that he is not going to give the reader an answer as to whether or not it's "right" or "wrong" to be gay. Instead, he presents different views as to what a family can look like from a historical perspective -- far, far different from our modern nuclear family -- and how a family can look from a Biblical perspective. He also gives a number of different ideas to encourage LGBT inclusion within the church that focus on making people in the LGBT community feel safe and loved. Additionally, he also explains the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of the debate, offering suggestions for improvement on both sides.
I highlighted dozens of passages in this book, because at the end of the day, I am not responsible for anyone else but myself. Instead of being concerned about what someone else is doing in his or her bedroom, I need to be concerned with how I show God's love to other people -- and that really is one of the messages this book is attempting to convey. The questions that the author poses to the reader are thought-provoking and deep, and are questions we should be asking of ourselves and our church communities.
July 17, 2024
As an apprentice of Jesus, I develop the habit of mind-renewal by actively seeking out new perspectives, expanding my thinking, and embracing transformation. This book is a tool for that job.
Otto writes with disarming candor, sharing his own story as a gay Christian and extending bold invitations to the reader to imagine the full possibilities of life in the kingdom of God — even amidst the wearisome conflict over gay relationships.
In the introduction, Otto defuses the evangelical impulse to begin with the question of morality when considering homosexuality in the church. He offers an alternative question that guides the rest of the book: How is God working for the good? Creatively examining the core realities of life in God's kingdom, Otto reframes the conflict over sexuality as a doorway to paths of unity in each chapter.
The brilliance of this book is Otto’s prudence to gradually unfold the fruitful ways Christians can regard this embattled topic via the reader’s own self-reflection. Each chapter concludes with incisive questions for discussion, inviting the reader to explore the goodness often obscured by prosaic conflict. From Otto’s array of discussions emerges the truest form of Christian hope: the confidence that God is working, not in spite of great conflict, but through it.
Otto writes with disarming candor, sharing his own story as a gay Christian and extending bold invitations to the reader to imagine the full possibilities of life in the kingdom of God — even amidst the wearisome conflict over gay relationships.
In the introduction, Otto defuses the evangelical impulse to begin with the question of morality when considering homosexuality in the church. He offers an alternative question that guides the rest of the book: How is God working for the good? Creatively examining the core realities of life in God's kingdom, Otto reframes the conflict over sexuality as a doorway to paths of unity in each chapter.
The brilliance of this book is Otto’s prudence to gradually unfold the fruitful ways Christians can regard this embattled topic via the reader’s own self-reflection. Each chapter concludes with incisive questions for discussion, inviting the reader to explore the goodness often obscured by prosaic conflict. From Otto’s array of discussions emerges the truest form of Christian hope: the confidence that God is working, not in spite of great conflict, but through it.
June 3, 2015
It took me awhile to get through this, but not because it wasn't great (I just always have to force myself to read nonfiction over fiction). This was a very thoughtful account, both of the author's own journey with reconciling his homosexual orientation with his Christian faith, and of the theological issues surrounding the church and homosexuality. Otto was very good at making the case (without being "preachy") that Christians on different sides of the issue need to listen to each other and find ways to come together for the sake of the Gospel. An excellent book.
January 5, 2015
This is one of the best books on the topic that I have read. I love how the author doesn't just come out and give you his point of view. Instead he discusses a new way to live as a christian. I would recommend this book if you are struggling with what it means to be a member of God's family.
March 17, 2015
You cannot argue with someone's story. And Tim Otto tells his story well, straddling the LGBT issue between the liberal and conservative sides of the church well. While I sometimes wished he'd just pick a 'side,' his own experience and study can't be negated.
April 14, 2015
Those looking for answers to the question of whether same-sex relationships are potentially good in God's sight will be frustrated, but Tim has important counsel to both "affirming" and "non-affirming" churches, and has especially challenging exhortations on recovering the church as primary family.
April 23, 2019
I've read a fair number of books that address LGBTQ from the perspective of Christian faith. They tend to start to blend together. This book was a breath of fresh air. In particular, I think Otto rightly frames the conversation in term so of ecclesiological responsibility as opposed to the ethics of one's theological convictions. I also thought that Otto maintained both an extremely honest tenor as well as a humble one. I think someone could appreciate this book regardless of one's stance.
He does offer a kind of primer on exegesis of key passages that I thought was a bit wanting, but this did not detract from the richness of the majority of the book. Also, it is clear that Otto takes scripture seriously. I appreciate that.
I will add this to my list of recommendations for people who want to wrestle with this.
He does offer a kind of primer on exegesis of key passages that I thought was a bit wanting, but this did not detract from the richness of the majority of the book. Also, it is clear that Otto takes scripture seriously. I appreciate that.
I will add this to my list of recommendations for people who want to wrestle with this.
October 1, 2018
Amazing, intelligent, faith filled, loving
What if we focused less on whether conservative or liberal Christians are “right” on the issue of homosexuality—and instead ask how God might be using this conflict for good? What a provocative yet faith-filled question.
This isn’t a weasely middle ground proposal. It calls us to learn from the best of those with whom we disagree, to be critical about our own approaches, and to find a way to covenants unity and love by faith.
Tim doesn’t land on a single answer. There are faithful conservative, liberal, and mixed expressions of seeking to love LGBT brothers and sisters well. Hopefully, after this book, we will see more.
What if we focused less on whether conservative or liberal Christians are “right” on the issue of homosexuality—and instead ask how God might be using this conflict for good? What a provocative yet faith-filled question.
This isn’t a weasely middle ground proposal. It calls us to learn from the best of those with whom we disagree, to be critical about our own approaches, and to find a way to covenants unity and love by faith.
Tim doesn’t land on a single answer. There are faithful conservative, liberal, and mixed expressions of seeking to love LGBT brothers and sisters well. Hopefully, after this book, we will see more.
July 29, 2017
Tim Otto has the humility and credibility to write this rare book.
July 19, 2023
This has been the most helpful book I’ve read on sexuality in the church. Wise and beautifully written.
September 6, 2023
A helpful articulation of a potential path forward in the (often gridlocked) conversation around sexuality and the church.
August 26, 2024
an incredibly helpful primer for anybody grappling with the church's response to LGBT+ members. compassionate and comprehensive, even when it's challenging to read
July 13, 2015
You need to read this book. I'm tempted to just leave the review there, but you need to read this book.
Tim Otto is a Christian who is also gay. This book is a book on economics, politics, unity, reading the Bible, community, but most of all it's a theological memoir about a man who desires to serve God, but also has same-sex attraction. It can be very frank at times, but that also helps to make you realize that Tim is a real person, with real feelings, and real desires for love like the rest of us, but struggling with how it all ties into his faith.
Tim does very well at making the book more about how the church can better serve those with same-sex attractions than whether or not practicing homosexuality is sinful or not. Because I am one who holds to the "traditional position" concerning homosexuality, I don't agree with all of his interpretations concerning the verses that deal with homosexuality and marriage, but his section about how those that do hold the traditional position can work to welcome homosexuals into the church is great, and makes me realize how far I fall short in making all know they are welcome in the Lord's Body.
Again...read this book.
Tim Otto is a Christian who is also gay. This book is a book on economics, politics, unity, reading the Bible, community, but most of all it's a theological memoir about a man who desires to serve God, but also has same-sex attraction. It can be very frank at times, but that also helps to make you realize that Tim is a real person, with real feelings, and real desires for love like the rest of us, but struggling with how it all ties into his faith.
Tim does very well at making the book more about how the church can better serve those with same-sex attractions than whether or not practicing homosexuality is sinful or not. Because I am one who holds to the "traditional position" concerning homosexuality, I don't agree with all of his interpretations concerning the verses that deal with homosexuality and marriage, but his section about how those that do hold the traditional position can work to welcome homosexuals into the church is great, and makes me realize how far I fall short in making all know they are welcome in the Lord's Body.
Again...read this book.
February 10, 2015
In his desire to create a conversation regarding the issue of homosexuality in this book the author shares his own struggles and resolutions regarding his own sexual orientation. He writes in an authentic, sincere, vulnerable style, recounting the losses and gains, victories and defeats, etc., of negotiating his own life of faith, particularly in his relationship with his fellow Christians, both in the church and in the religious community that he is a member of in San Francisco. His style is highly readable. It is clearly with a good heart that he undertakes his goal of fostering a more open, positive conversation between Christians about this issue.
March 26, 2016
So much of the talk in Christian circles about gay relationships and marriage seems to be done in an echo chamber with people on either side of the issue interested only in staking out their own ground and seemingly no interest in listening to and loving the other. Written by a gay Christian guy, now living a celibate life and serving as a pastor in a small intentional community, this is a book I recommend particularly to those on the traditional side of the issue. I think this book might be helpful in opening up space for healthy conversation for those who don't insist on being right and on a crusade to defeat all opposition.
December 13, 2016
An important book that asks more questions (and very good ones) than it gives answers. Both the traditional and affirming sides are taken seriously and considered positively for the good each brings to the matter of same-sex relationships. Both are also critiqued for where they fall short.
Tim Otto, a gay Christian who has chosen celibacy out of faithfulness to his community, offers one of the most compelling paths forward for the American church I have yet to read. There is much to think about here.
Tim Otto, a gay Christian who has chosen celibacy out of faithfulness to his community, offers one of the most compelling paths forward for the American church I have yet to read. There is much to think about here.
December 13, 2016
I appreciated Tim's story and honesty. He shared his struggle, faith, and process. What I loved about this book was seeing the church in community shine. Regardless if it's a heterosexual single or SSA person who chooses celibacy, this book challenged the churches theology of singleness and sense of family for me in a way that pure theology talk wouldn't have done.
Grateful to have interacted with Tim's story.
Grateful to have interacted with Tim's story.
August 7, 2015
Finally
At last a book that speaks to my experience of being gay and Christian. There is so much more to the issue than who someone is attracted to. A well stated and presented call to the church to be family, community, and church to all people.
At last a book that speaks to my experience of being gay and Christian. There is so much more to the issue than who someone is attracted to. A well stated and presented call to the church to be family, community, and church to all people.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews