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335 pages, Paperback
First published February 20, 2025





“So what do you do?” Other Dude asks Joey.
“He’s in construction,” I answer, sending Joey a wink. “Knows his way around the ol’ nuts and bolts. Really good at… screwing?” That doesn’t sound right. “At least, I assume,” I go on quickly. “I haven’t experienced it firsthand yet, but I’m hoping one day Joey will show me his equipment.”
“He’s like… If niceness were a man,” I say. “His eyes are warm like brownies. And he’s all muscly in a kinda soft way? Like a loaf of challah. Add some chocolate sprinkles on top for his hair, and there you have it.”
I mean, who says stuff like that?! 😩
“This truly doesn’t bother you? Talking about gay sex?”
“No?” I say slowly. “People are people, man. Sex is sex. I guess I don’t see why talking about other dudes’ dicks and assholes should bother me when I have my own. Singular dick and asshole, obviously. I’m not, like, doubling up down there. Whoa, could you imagine?”
BRAD BRADLEY FOR PRESIDENT!!
“Yep!” I say cheerfully. “Ready to eat my butt?”
Joey’s eyes flare wide.
“Shit, that wasn’t right,” I mutter. It only takes a second to click. “Ah. Ready to eat my dust?”
“Did you just combine that with the phrase ‘kick my butt’?” Joey asks.
“Sure did.”
🤣🤣
“I just open my mouth, and words fall out. It’s a curse.”
“Don’t get too close, dude. I’m contaminated.” His smile is a slow thing. “It’s fine, Brad. I’d have to ingest them to have a reaction.” “Oh, okay. Phew,” I puff out. “In that case, don’t lick me and we should be good.”
“Where are we going?” “A small steakhouse nearby. Is that all right?” “Are you kidding me? I love meat in my mouth.”
I’ll be the best wingman Joey has ever had. Mark my words. By the time I’m through with him, he’ll be head over heels in love.
“I don’t have a perfect answer,” he says. “All I know is I understand cum gutters now because of you, and I’m pretty sure I’d like to test yours out if you’d let me.”
“At least you’re in my Heaven,” I mumble. “What?” Joey asks around a laugh, starting his reps. “Just that I’m fairly certain you’re a literal angel, and I’ve never been between a guy’s thighs before, but I’m a little jealous of that empty space between yours.”
“Ten ways to accidentally fall in love. And every step led me to you.”