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The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal
Practically everything we do in life involves negotiation.
Many important issues—the political future of nations, the scope of business, the purchase of a house—hinge on negotiation. But negotiation is also an integral part of our everyday lives, whether you are resolving a quarrel, creating a family budget, or simply deciding where to eat lunch. Yet it’s easy to believe we’re usually at a disadvantage—that others are born negotiators, while we are not.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Negotiation is a skill that just about everyone can learn to do well. Some people enjoy it. Others do not. But everyone can cultivate it and learn how to handle common challenges such as these:
Salary negotiations: Few situations are as awkward as salary negotiations when you’re being offered a new job. The employer has the upper hand, but there are reasonable steps you can take to ensure that you are treated fairly and get the going rate for your position.
Sharp tactics: Aggressive negotiators are often not as sharp as they seem, since many rely on standard tricks that are easy to spot—if you know what to look for. Be alert for nibbling, limited authority, and double-talk tactics, among other gambits, and know how to counter them.
Haggling: Haggling is what many people hate about negotiation. But it’s possible to turn a win/lose confrontation into a mutually satisfying agreement by focusing on the interests of the two sides, which can be complementary.
Good negotiating goes beyond succeeding in the marketplace; these skills are crucial for solving conflicts of all types, getting fractious groups to work together, counseling friends in distress, persuading people to give to a charity, and generally getting anyone to accept your point of view—and they enable you to do it in ways that enhance rather than strain relationships.
Wouldn’t a course that equips you with such valuable knowledge pay for itself many times over?
The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal is exactly that course, taught by an expert negotiator, mediator, business school teacher, and former corporate attorney: Seth Freeman, an adjunct professor at New York University Stern School of Business and at Columbia University. In 24 engaging and practical lectures, Professor Freeman teaches you how to approach all phases of a negotiation and deal with a wide range of problems. You’ll learn how to negotiate effectively in both competitive and collaborative situations, always being “hard on the problem and soft on the person”—which is the key to achieving a mutually beneficial outcome.
Many important issues—the political future of nations, the scope of business, the purchase of a house—hinge on negotiation. But negotiation is also an integral part of our everyday lives, whether you are resolving a quarrel, creating a family budget, or simply deciding where to eat lunch. Yet it’s easy to believe we’re usually at a disadvantage—that others are born negotiators, while we are not.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Negotiation is a skill that just about everyone can learn to do well. Some people enjoy it. Others do not. But everyone can cultivate it and learn how to handle common challenges such as these:
Salary negotiations: Few situations are as awkward as salary negotiations when you’re being offered a new job. The employer has the upper hand, but there are reasonable steps you can take to ensure that you are treated fairly and get the going rate for your position.
Sharp tactics: Aggressive negotiators are often not as sharp as they seem, since many rely on standard tricks that are easy to spot—if you know what to look for. Be alert for nibbling, limited authority, and double-talk tactics, among other gambits, and know how to counter them.
Haggling: Haggling is what many people hate about negotiation. But it’s possible to turn a win/lose confrontation into a mutually satisfying agreement by focusing on the interests of the two sides, which can be complementary.
Good negotiating goes beyond succeeding in the marketplace; these skills are crucial for solving conflicts of all types, getting fractious groups to work together, counseling friends in distress, persuading people to give to a charity, and generally getting anyone to accept your point of view—and they enable you to do it in ways that enhance rather than strain relationships.
Wouldn’t a course that equips you with such valuable knowledge pay for itself many times over?
The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal is exactly that course, taught by an expert negotiator, mediator, business school teacher, and former corporate attorney: Seth Freeman, an adjunct professor at New York University Stern School of Business and at Columbia University. In 24 engaging and practical lectures, Professor Freeman teaches you how to approach all phases of a negotiation and deal with a wide range of problems. You’ll learn how to negotiate effectively in both competitive and collaborative situations, always being “hard on the problem and soft on the person”—which is the key to achieving a mutually beneficial outcome.
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First published January 1, 2014
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June 19, 2015
Great course - I'll put my notes here, but they are no replacement for listening through the whole course.
* INTERESTS not positions
* Skilled listening - the most important negotiating skill
* Power of information - do your research - Preparation- Jewel in the crown of negotiation. Get this right (and merely doing it is not enough) and your performance in the negotiation dramatically improves. -Gavin Kennedy
* Creative options - it's never just a "no" - there are always options and ways to make value-enhanced tradeoffs
* Display personal warmth - be hard on the problem, soft on the person - build credibility and rapport
* Appeal to shared interests - have empathy, not sympathy
* Demonstrate candor, competence and concern
* Use trust mechanisms (i.e. contractual terms) when trust is low
* Develop your BATNA in advance to build leverage
* Distributive bargaining (i.e. salary) - you can still be creative in a distributive negotiation. See Topics, Targets, & Tradeoffs grid
* Saying no to a deal can also be the best outcome - know your opportunity cost
* If you are negotiating with someone with limited power, appeal to someone with greater power or influence
* I FORESAW IT - the way to prepare for a negotiation
*
* I FORESAW IT sums up many of the key factors which a negotiator needs to consider in preparing for a negotiation. In essence, the mnemonic asks you to do six things: (1) consider what you each really want and why, (2) learn as much as possible about the situation, (3) think creatively, (4) empathize, (5) develop alternatives to agreement, and (6) identify your targets and priorities.
* Interests- Mine, hers, ours. Beyond our respective demands, why do we each want what we say we want? Rank the answers in order of importance. Include intangible interests such as face-saving. Don’t skimp on common interests (that is, shared goals you can achieve by working together)- expert negotiators spend far more time on this than average negotiators do.
* Factual Research- Knowledge counts. What are the market prices? What do the relevant documents say? What do industry experts say? What published information is there about the matter? The other person? What is the history of the relationship? What are the cultural norms? The legal constraints? What does spreadsheet analysis reveal? How is the other person’s organization set up? Err on the side of exhaustive learning.
* Options- Brainstorm possible deal terms. That is, think of as many negotiable solutions to the problem as possible, even if they seem silly. Think of solutions that might satisfy each side’s interests. Get help from a trusted friend or colleague. Don’t critique until you’ve generated at least six for each topic you wish to discuss. Excellent negotiators generate twice as many options as average negotiators do. Then review and refine your options and select the one(s) you feel would be your first preference.
* Reactions and Responses- Do this last. Once you develop offer(s) using the rest of the mnemonic, practice proposing your offer(s) to the other negotiator and try predicting her reactions to your proposal and to the situation generally. What will she feel she’ll lose if she says “yes,” and gain if she says “no”? Then consider how you might respond. Consider her interests- how will she satisfy her interests by saying “yes” and hurt them by saying “no”? Are there Independent criteria you can use to show the proposal is fair? Role playing can produce real surprises and insights.
* Empathy and Ethics- Empathize. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Speak or write a paragraph in his voice about the situation. What problem does he have? Why do you seem difficult? What hang ups are you bringing to the negotiation? How would you like to be treated if you were in his place? If you are working with someone from another culture, try learning about her culture and her history. Empathizing is perhaps the hardest and most important task. A related concern is the ethical and spiritual dimension. What likely ethical dilemmas will you face? How will you deal with them? What limits will you set? It may help (perhaps in ways that have nothing to do with money) to pray for wisdom, patience, strength, and understanding. It may also help to pray for the other person (especially if relations are strained).
* Setting and Scheduling- (a) Where will you negotiate? By phone? By letter? In person? Where are you each more comfortable? If you meet, where? Your place? Theirs? A neutral place? Why? Will you meet in private or in public? (Negotiating in the public eye often makes it harder for each negotiator to make concessions without losing face.) Have a change of setting in mind in case you reach an impasse- often this can help change the result. Palestinian and Israeli negotiators reached agreement in 1993 in part by meeting secretly in a Norwegian diplomat’s living room where food was served and children were running around. Will you meet via phone? Email? (Phone negotiations tend to fail more than face to face do; email negotiations tend to fail even more.) (b) When will you negotiate? Before something else happens? After? Why? Timing can be crucial. If there are several parties, with whom will you meet first? Then whom? What time of day will you negotiate? (If possible, avoid negotiating when you are tired.)
* Alternatives to Agreement- If there’s no deal, what will you do instead? What will she? List the different possible alternatives separately for each side. For example, if you’re negotiating to buy my car and we can’t agree, what exactly will you do instead? Take the bus? Buy a new car you saw at the local dealership yesterday? Try to improve your alternatives with research. Rank yours; which is your best alternative? Your worst? Rank hers. Which is her best? Her worst? (If she says “no,” she may be running the risk of winding up with her worst alternative. Tactfully noting this risk may encourage her to say yes.) Alternatives matter. All the negotiating technique in the world won’t matter if the other person has a great offer from someone else and you need her business desperately.
* Who- Who can influence the outcome of the talks? Who will you deal with? Is there someone else who would be better to deal with instead? Is there someone you might deal with if you reach an impasse? (e.g. managers often have much more latitude than clerks). Who do you each answer to? What do they want? Who else should you involve in the process? Should you use agents? Mediators? Who else may influence the negotiations? Spouses? Customers? Name them. Learn as much as you appropriately can about them. Also, are there coalitions you can form? Other coalitions you need to block? If several people are involved (say, a board of directors or a work team), is there a likely ally whom you should talk to first?
* Independent Criteria- What objective standards can you appeal to so the other person feels your offer is fair and reasonable? Look for something the other person is likely to trust that’s out of your control: e.g., blue book estimates of fair market value, Consumer Reports ratings, a jointly chosen accountant’s appraisal, industry statements about standards and practices, verifiable precedent, existing contract terms, or a fair decision rule such as ‘I cut/you choose’. Independent criteria let you say, in effect, “don’t take my word for it; let’s turn to something we both trust.” They are far more persuasive than saying, “well, I think I’m making you a very fair offer.”
* Topics, Targets, and Tradeoffs- This last letter is where you turn your preparation work into a focused one page guide to the talks. In essence, you set an agenda, develop goals for each, prioritize, and add some promising creative options. Here’s how:
*
* (a) Topics. Write down the topics you’ll talk about (such as salary, hours, vacation time). Look beyond the obvious for hidden topics worth discussing (such as start date).
* (b) Targets. For each topic, set two targets- the outcome you’d like best (your top target) and least (your walkaway target). (For example- “Salary: 50K – 40K”). Your top target should be ambitious but realistic, based on your factual research into market values and the other person’s alternatives. Your walkaway target should be fairly firm and roughly equal to the value of your best Alternative to a negotiated agreement.
* (c) Tradeoffs. (1) Look for tradeoffs between topics by ranking topics. Which matters most to you? Would you give up lots of X (say, salary) if you could have lots of Y (say, vacation time)? Ranking topics is particularly valuable when there are lots of them. (2) Look for tradeoffs within a single topic- that is, look for creative options that would really satisfy you both for that topic. Review the list Options you created earlier select the options you’d accept (say, salary plus a loan) or offer (say, regular hours plus a monthly business trip).
* Now put together three possible agreements. (1) First, design an opening offer. Do this by jotting down the best possible deal you can realistically imagine by listing your upper Target for each Topic. Then add to that deal a reasonable cushion so you can make concessions. Write down the cushioned proposal. (2) Second, write down the worst possible deal you will accept by writing down the best deal you have been offered elsewhere, or, if you have none, by listing the lower Target for each Topic. (Later, compare any tentative deal to this one to make sure you’re not accepting a bad one.) (3) Lastly, write down at least one other possible deal- preferably a creative solution. You might describe a deal that gives you lots of your favorite Topic and less of your least favorite; or a deal that uses Tradeoffs within Topics. (Have such deal(s) ready in case an impasse arises during talks.)
* Use prolonged and respectful questions. Get to their why.
* Throughout the conversation, continually repeat back to them what you heard them say. This let's them know they've been heard and presents the opportunity to clear up misunderstanding
* When negotiating with a Goliath, use partners to enhance your offer.
* Offer negotiating coaching. Don't be afraid to ask "dumb" questions as long as you are prepared.
* The chapter on negotiating with children is full of great tips for handling children and for teaching them how to negotiate themselves. Give them choices that you are indifferent to so they feel like they have choice/power (i.e. Do you want to set the table now, or clean up the table after dinner? Very young - "stop and go" for brushing hair)
* INTERESTS not positions
* Skilled listening - the most important negotiating skill
* Power of information - do your research - Preparation- Jewel in the crown of negotiation. Get this right (and merely doing it is not enough) and your performance in the negotiation dramatically improves. -Gavin Kennedy
* Creative options - it's never just a "no" - there are always options and ways to make value-enhanced tradeoffs
* Display personal warmth - be hard on the problem, soft on the person - build credibility and rapport
* Appeal to shared interests - have empathy, not sympathy
* Demonstrate candor, competence and concern
* Use trust mechanisms (i.e. contractual terms) when trust is low
* Develop your BATNA in advance to build leverage
* Distributive bargaining (i.e. salary) - you can still be creative in a distributive negotiation. See Topics, Targets, & Tradeoffs grid
* Saying no to a deal can also be the best outcome - know your opportunity cost
* If you are negotiating with someone with limited power, appeal to someone with greater power or influence
* I FORESAW IT - the way to prepare for a negotiation
*
* I FORESAW IT sums up many of the key factors which a negotiator needs to consider in preparing for a negotiation. In essence, the mnemonic asks you to do six things: (1) consider what you each really want and why, (2) learn as much as possible about the situation, (3) think creatively, (4) empathize, (5) develop alternatives to agreement, and (6) identify your targets and priorities.
* Interests- Mine, hers, ours. Beyond our respective demands, why do we each want what we say we want? Rank the answers in order of importance. Include intangible interests such as face-saving. Don’t skimp on common interests (that is, shared goals you can achieve by working together)- expert negotiators spend far more time on this than average negotiators do.
* Factual Research- Knowledge counts. What are the market prices? What do the relevant documents say? What do industry experts say? What published information is there about the matter? The other person? What is the history of the relationship? What are the cultural norms? The legal constraints? What does spreadsheet analysis reveal? How is the other person’s organization set up? Err on the side of exhaustive learning.
* Options- Brainstorm possible deal terms. That is, think of as many negotiable solutions to the problem as possible, even if they seem silly. Think of solutions that might satisfy each side’s interests. Get help from a trusted friend or colleague. Don’t critique until you’ve generated at least six for each topic you wish to discuss. Excellent negotiators generate twice as many options as average negotiators do. Then review and refine your options and select the one(s) you feel would be your first preference.
* Reactions and Responses- Do this last. Once you develop offer(s) using the rest of the mnemonic, practice proposing your offer(s) to the other negotiator and try predicting her reactions to your proposal and to the situation generally. What will she feel she’ll lose if she says “yes,” and gain if she says “no”? Then consider how you might respond. Consider her interests- how will she satisfy her interests by saying “yes” and hurt them by saying “no”? Are there Independent criteria you can use to show the proposal is fair? Role playing can produce real surprises and insights.
* Empathy and Ethics- Empathize. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Speak or write a paragraph in his voice about the situation. What problem does he have? Why do you seem difficult? What hang ups are you bringing to the negotiation? How would you like to be treated if you were in his place? If you are working with someone from another culture, try learning about her culture and her history. Empathizing is perhaps the hardest and most important task. A related concern is the ethical and spiritual dimension. What likely ethical dilemmas will you face? How will you deal with them? What limits will you set? It may help (perhaps in ways that have nothing to do with money) to pray for wisdom, patience, strength, and understanding. It may also help to pray for the other person (especially if relations are strained).
* Setting and Scheduling- (a) Where will you negotiate? By phone? By letter? In person? Where are you each more comfortable? If you meet, where? Your place? Theirs? A neutral place? Why? Will you meet in private or in public? (Negotiating in the public eye often makes it harder for each negotiator to make concessions without losing face.) Have a change of setting in mind in case you reach an impasse- often this can help change the result. Palestinian and Israeli negotiators reached agreement in 1993 in part by meeting secretly in a Norwegian diplomat’s living room where food was served and children were running around. Will you meet via phone? Email? (Phone negotiations tend to fail more than face to face do; email negotiations tend to fail even more.) (b) When will you negotiate? Before something else happens? After? Why? Timing can be crucial. If there are several parties, with whom will you meet first? Then whom? What time of day will you negotiate? (If possible, avoid negotiating when you are tired.)
* Alternatives to Agreement- If there’s no deal, what will you do instead? What will she? List the different possible alternatives separately for each side. For example, if you’re negotiating to buy my car and we can’t agree, what exactly will you do instead? Take the bus? Buy a new car you saw at the local dealership yesterday? Try to improve your alternatives with research. Rank yours; which is your best alternative? Your worst? Rank hers. Which is her best? Her worst? (If she says “no,” she may be running the risk of winding up with her worst alternative. Tactfully noting this risk may encourage her to say yes.) Alternatives matter. All the negotiating technique in the world won’t matter if the other person has a great offer from someone else and you need her business desperately.
* Who- Who can influence the outcome of the talks? Who will you deal with? Is there someone else who would be better to deal with instead? Is there someone you might deal with if you reach an impasse? (e.g. managers often have much more latitude than clerks). Who do you each answer to? What do they want? Who else should you involve in the process? Should you use agents? Mediators? Who else may influence the negotiations? Spouses? Customers? Name them. Learn as much as you appropriately can about them. Also, are there coalitions you can form? Other coalitions you need to block? If several people are involved (say, a board of directors or a work team), is there a likely ally whom you should talk to first?
* Independent Criteria- What objective standards can you appeal to so the other person feels your offer is fair and reasonable? Look for something the other person is likely to trust that’s out of your control: e.g., blue book estimates of fair market value, Consumer Reports ratings, a jointly chosen accountant’s appraisal, industry statements about standards and practices, verifiable precedent, existing contract terms, or a fair decision rule such as ‘I cut/you choose’. Independent criteria let you say, in effect, “don’t take my word for it; let’s turn to something we both trust.” They are far more persuasive than saying, “well, I think I’m making you a very fair offer.”
* Topics, Targets, and Tradeoffs- This last letter is where you turn your preparation work into a focused one page guide to the talks. In essence, you set an agenda, develop goals for each, prioritize, and add some promising creative options. Here’s how:
*
* (a) Topics. Write down the topics you’ll talk about (such as salary, hours, vacation time). Look beyond the obvious for hidden topics worth discussing (such as start date).
* (b) Targets. For each topic, set two targets- the outcome you’d like best (your top target) and least (your walkaway target). (For example- “Salary: 50K – 40K”). Your top target should be ambitious but realistic, based on your factual research into market values and the other person’s alternatives. Your walkaway target should be fairly firm and roughly equal to the value of your best Alternative to a negotiated agreement.
* (c) Tradeoffs. (1) Look for tradeoffs between topics by ranking topics. Which matters most to you? Would you give up lots of X (say, salary) if you could have lots of Y (say, vacation time)? Ranking topics is particularly valuable when there are lots of them. (2) Look for tradeoffs within a single topic- that is, look for creative options that would really satisfy you both for that topic. Review the list Options you created earlier select the options you’d accept (say, salary plus a loan) or offer (say, regular hours plus a monthly business trip).
* Now put together three possible agreements. (1) First, design an opening offer. Do this by jotting down the best possible deal you can realistically imagine by listing your upper Target for each Topic. Then add to that deal a reasonable cushion so you can make concessions. Write down the cushioned proposal. (2) Second, write down the worst possible deal you will accept by writing down the best deal you have been offered elsewhere, or, if you have none, by listing the lower Target for each Topic. (Later, compare any tentative deal to this one to make sure you’re not accepting a bad one.) (3) Lastly, write down at least one other possible deal- preferably a creative solution. You might describe a deal that gives you lots of your favorite Topic and less of your least favorite; or a deal that uses Tradeoffs within Topics. (Have such deal(s) ready in case an impasse arises during talks.)
* Use prolonged and respectful questions. Get to their why.
* Throughout the conversation, continually repeat back to them what you heard them say. This let's them know they've been heard and presents the opportunity to clear up misunderstanding
* When negotiating with a Goliath, use partners to enhance your offer.
* Offer negotiating coaching. Don't be afraid to ask "dumb" questions as long as you are prepared.
* The chapter on negotiating with children is full of great tips for handling children and for teaching them how to negotiate themselves. Give them choices that you are indifferent to so they feel like they have choice/power (i.e. Do you want to set the table now, or clean up the table after dinner? Very young - "stop and go" for brushing hair)
April 18, 2023
Great course , I have read getting to yes more than a year back and this one I felt covered even more. A lot of negotiation is common sense and it comes naturally with experience from all the mistakes we have done in the past and what we have to be careful about but having a framework nevertheless helps more to deal with new scenarios in life and profession. I am not detailing the content as others here have done it quite well.
October 6, 2014
As much a book about morality, and empathy, as it is about negotiating techniques.
June 20, 2019
Refreshingly doesn’t just teach you to be a shark, but a well-rounded person without being embarrassed about money or terms in negotiations. Can be long winded, but the info is useful. Narrator makes a bunch of flubs, but this actually lends to the genuine nature of the book. [AUDIBLE]
Want to read
May 16, 2023Recommended by ben meer newsletter
April 3, 2015
Audiokniha The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal je nejlepším úvodem do vyjednávání, jaký si může čtenář přát. Právě dnes pořádáme think-tank na téma jednání s klienty a ze všeho, co jsem k tématu v posledních měsících nastudoval, bych doporučil nejvíc právě techniky a strategie z této knihy. Expert na vyjednávání Seth Freeman jde ve stopách klasiky Getting to YES, když oponuje populární představě ledoBorce s vyhrnutými rukávy. Jeho ideální vyjednavač je především kreativní analytik, empatik, který umí mlčet, naslouchat a ovládat své emoce v duchu hesla „soft on the person, hard on the problem.“ Úplně famózní jsou Fremanovy doporučení k pozičnímu vyjednávání (typicky přetahování o ceně) a jeho vlastní metodika I FORESAW IT, jakýsi checklist nejlepších praktik v logickém sledu. Tahle kniha je zkrátka sama o sobě parádní deal!
June 13, 2017
Read this before buying your next car
March 27, 2020
Watch a detailed review along with my favorite ideas and takeaways at:
https://youtu.be/omuz8cNZyEw
https://youtu.be/omuz8cNZyEw
May 1, 2023
positions vs interests
- deeply learning about your counterpart's interests rather than relying on their positions can lead to better outcomes
the other negotiator
- it's easy to misread people, so improve attention rather than relying on "reading" people
- asking simple, open ended questions before asking more narrow questions ("funneling") helps avoid making false assumptions
- role simulation develops empathy for the other side
listening
- passive listening
- dumb listening: listen without thinking or talking too much, without mentally rehearsing your reply while the other person is talking
- active listening: repeat the gist back, because in some of the most high stakes situations can't afford to misunderstand
- skilled questioning: getting past the fear of looking stupid
research
- doing research and setting a goal ahead of time can improve the outcome than just blindly trying for the best outcome
creativity
- innovate or perish
building rapport
- ask questions, test for understanding, summarize
- signal the message ahead of time
- being explicit about concerns signals trustworthiness
- trust mechanisms: watching, bridge,
- greedy negotiators are often not trusted next time
- concessions can increase trust
leverage
- best alternative to a negotiated agreement (batna) reveals leverage and perspective
- allude to batna, but not reveal too much detail
- similarly in litigation, holding back some information can trap the other party, i.e. in whistleblowing
making offers
- strategies: midpoint (if counterpart offers A, and you want B>A, then you ask for 2B - A), independent criteria (third party), soft offer (initially set price but say that you're open to negotiation)
- conventional wisdom: never make the first offer without information to prevent asking for less than your counterpart was prepared to first offer
- rely on market data, consider any reasonable offer, make a broad range
- however, the one who makes the first offer biases the conversation by creating an anchor
- the solution is to research for more information
- skilled negotiators have a range: best target and worst acceptable price
- feigning indifference (acting as if you're happy to walk away) can backfire if your bluff is called. bluffing can have backwards effect on trust and credibility
- nonlinear bargaining: package deal with tradeoffs between different topics
handling tactics
- nibbling
- limited authority: determine the other party's authority early on in the conversation; change who you're talking to
- commitment: quietly drop the commitment; change who you're negotiating with; make creative alternatives
- time: delay and rushing: ask for more time or trade for it; find creative ways to satisfy the interest behind the other side's delay
- deeply learning about your counterpart's interests rather than relying on their positions can lead to better outcomes
the other negotiator
- it's easy to misread people, so improve attention rather than relying on "reading" people
- asking simple, open ended questions before asking more narrow questions ("funneling") helps avoid making false assumptions
- role simulation develops empathy for the other side
listening
- passive listening
- dumb listening: listen without thinking or talking too much, without mentally rehearsing your reply while the other person is talking
- active listening: repeat the gist back, because in some of the most high stakes situations can't afford to misunderstand
- skilled questioning: getting past the fear of looking stupid
research
- doing research and setting a goal ahead of time can improve the outcome than just blindly trying for the best outcome
creativity
- innovate or perish
building rapport
- ask questions, test for understanding, summarize
- signal the message ahead of time
- being explicit about concerns signals trustworthiness
- trust mechanisms: watching, bridge,
- greedy negotiators are often not trusted next time
- concessions can increase trust
leverage
- best alternative to a negotiated agreement (batna) reveals leverage and perspective
- allude to batna, but not reveal too much detail
- similarly in litigation, holding back some information can trap the other party, i.e. in whistleblowing
making offers
- strategies: midpoint (if counterpart offers A, and you want B>A, then you ask for 2B - A), independent criteria (third party), soft offer (initially set price but say that you're open to negotiation)
- conventional wisdom: never make the first offer without information to prevent asking for less than your counterpart was prepared to first offer
- rely on market data, consider any reasonable offer, make a broad range
- however, the one who makes the first offer biases the conversation by creating an anchor
- the solution is to research for more information
- skilled negotiators have a range: best target and worst acceptable price
- feigning indifference (acting as if you're happy to walk away) can backfire if your bluff is called. bluffing can have backwards effect on trust and credibility
- nonlinear bargaining: package deal with tradeoffs between different topics
handling tactics
- nibbling
- limited authority: determine the other party's authority early on in the conversation; change who you're talking to
- commitment: quietly drop the commitment; change who you're negotiating with; make creative alternatives
- time: delay and rushing: ask for more time or trade for it; find creative ways to satisfy the interest behind the other side's delay
August 21, 2019
fight flight preparation, not leisure, inquire-what do you want to do with it, listen and share re interests, share creative options, focus on other needs interests, build trust understanding respect to be heard, avoid phony disingenuous dialogue be serious, empathize know your enemy via art of war, funneling start with broad open questions tell me more type then explore more detail in second round questions, muslim values faith traditions to collaborate with other groups for good, skilled listening 'talk to me' slow down and listen vs thinking at 4x speaking, active listening repeat what heard air traffic control surgery, escalation engage by repeating what you hear via fair fight rule listen for concern and repeat what you hear voiced as concern, respond with tell me more, mirror to build rapport, solar straight in front open arms eyes on, do not have fear of looking dumb and ask dumb questions, telling ain't selling, learn what is working and not what causes happen when not working, paraphrase what you have heard, develop min 6 brainstorm options in preparation which may lead to variations of one or more, survive via adapt add value cut costs, intentional respect careful words find what to agree not disparaging disagreements, separate people from the problem-love person respect person understand their issue concern, go slow to go fast not business related focus on other person what's going on, concern competence candor, let me ask a question, generous do best, be humble re questions, doubts drive deals, role play both, French used to confrontation US negotiation, works to live and vice versa.
April 11, 2022
The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal by Seth Freeman contains over 12 hours of great lectures. Discussed are negotiations of various types and complexity ranging from car buying deals to major business deals and even negotiations within the family or vacation hotels. Overall, the author's message is one of approaching all negotiations well prepared in order to maximize the outcome. Additionally, he stresses being humble and striving for win-win situations. Listening to this lecture series is definitely worth the time.
April 4, 2018
Re-enforced what I know plus gave me good tips and techniques to improve my negotiation skills.
I enjoyed his examples from personal, political and business lives.
I will try to practice his advice “be soft on the person and hard on the problem.” And remember that preparation is always key.
I’m glad I spent the time on the course because it’s a good chunk of time. I wish more people spent time preparing for a negotiation- me included!
I enjoyed his examples from personal, political and business lives.
I will try to practice his advice “be soft on the person and hard on the problem.” And remember that preparation is always key.
I’m glad I spent the time on the course because it’s a good chunk of time. I wish more people spent time preparing for a negotiation- me included!
August 5, 2018
This was the best teaching on negotiation I've had. It covered the classic books but also added some great nuances. And it brought to life ways to apply negotiation skills in personal and professional setting. He even managed to show where generosity and negotiation can come together--when to push for more and also how to get a better deal by being a better person. I recommend this for everyone, not just professionals who negotiate deals.
September 25, 2018
Although some of the anecdotes are ones I've already heard multiple times from other books, for the most part this is good knowledge related to negotiating. The author delves into a wide variety of situations, from international disputes to getting children to sit still. He uses many stories and tries to provide concrete steps for how to implement the skills he teaches. I recommend this book.
August 5, 2020
Very good business knowledge. This course is only a manual. The real value will only occur when you put these ideas into practice. Negotiation is an art and it takes practice. Fortunately, all people negotiate every day so we have a lot of experience with this and the tips in this book are easy to pick up; even by the layman.
June 14, 2018
After reading this book, I too was able to pull off level handed handshakes as seen on the cover. I kid, even though it was a bit dry at times the take away ( similar but less engaging than "how to win friends and influence people") pointed to good concepts when interacting with others.
July 4, 2019
Powerful information we can all adopt and use. We're so foolish if we do not. The last sixth of the book takes a decidedly spiritual turn, which I enjoyed and I know be true, but was not as grounded as the rest.
November 4, 2019
Great course that pretty much everyone should take. I often recommend The Secrets of a Power Negotiator but this is equally as good in a different format. It is not about how you can best your opponent but how you can create a win-win-win scenario.
abandoned
August 2, 2025I thought this book would be applicable to my sales job, however, it seems to be more for people using their rational minds to represent their large companies than it is for impulsive and emotion-based purchases with one’s own money.
July 26, 2018
While I didn't take a lot home with this audiobook there was a few good things. I didn't feel any chapter was a waste of my time either.
August 6, 2018
Highly recommend this book. Great instructor. Great practical information to apply to real life experiences.
April 25, 2019
Read for POLI 4090. Very useful for all of life.
October 11, 2019
Interesting!
Read
February 28, 2020Fantastic book a great compliment to never split the difference
March 5, 2020
Solid one!
March 30, 2020
OK, main idea expressed here (not taking positions) are familiar from the other book, sadly don't remember which one.
May 26, 2020
Amazing quality and enganging.
"Let me tell you story..." Haha... I love it!
"Let me tell you story..." Haha... I love it!
July 21, 2020
The guy who narrates this constantly stutters and cuts himself off mid sentence.
Very hard to get engrossed in his writing
Very hard to get engrossed in his writing
February 13, 2025
So good. Highly recommended. I want to listen to it each year!
January 5, 2015
This was a very good lesson which I'll surely return to in the future. Some notes I took:
Focus on interests, not positions. That's where you'll find common ground
Ask why the hold their positions. Follow up with "what do you mean?"
Respect, face-saving, and being heard are three things that every negotiator wants
Fairness trumps economics*
Wisdom: people shout when they think they aren’t being heard
Telling ain't selling
Do your research
Find a way for the other person to save face
Appeal to comon interests
Seek 5% less than the best you can do
You have to do the dance of concessions. It's why you don't open with your best offer. Refusing to budge comes off as bad faith
Never make the first offer, especially when you don't know much
IFORSAWIT
Beware of Anchoring (artificially high first offers)
Don't use bluffing as a substitute for homework
Set limits in advance to avoid "escalation psychology"
Don't confuse concessions with bargains
Prepare to sidestep "killer questions"
If we agree/If me don't agree. Shows the consequences of both
*Freeman uses a study wherein they offered subjects $1000. The caveat: the subjects had to find a partner willing to split it with them. It could be split any way, meaning the subjects could keep $999 as long as their partner was willing to accept just a dollar. Freeman says conventional economic wisdom is people should be willing to accept just the dollar. After all, it's a dollar they wouldn't otherwise have had. People balked. The subjects had to give away as much as half to get the partners to help because it was "unfair" that the study subjects should get $999 while they only get a buck. Freeman interprets this as desiring fairness even when it goes against our economic interests. Surely there's some truth to that, but I'm not certain this study gets to the heart of it. Rather, the study subjects were trying to "purchase" the cooperation of the partners. The partners were hardly motivated to indulge the subject's greed for a dollar.
Focus on interests, not positions. That's where you'll find common ground
Ask why the hold their positions. Follow up with "what do you mean?"
Respect, face-saving, and being heard are three things that every negotiator wants
Fairness trumps economics*
Wisdom: people shout when they think they aren’t being heard
Telling ain't selling
Do your research
Find a way for the other person to save face
Appeal to comon interests
Seek 5% less than the best you can do
You have to do the dance of concessions. It's why you don't open with your best offer. Refusing to budge comes off as bad faith
Never make the first offer, especially when you don't know much
IFORSAWIT
Beware of Anchoring (artificially high first offers)
Don't use bluffing as a substitute for homework
Set limits in advance to avoid "escalation psychology"
Don't confuse concessions with bargains
Prepare to sidestep "killer questions"
If we agree/If me don't agree. Shows the consequences of both
*Freeman uses a study wherein they offered subjects $1000. The caveat: the subjects had to find a partner willing to split it with them. It could be split any way, meaning the subjects could keep $999 as long as their partner was willing to accept just a dollar. Freeman says conventional economic wisdom is people should be willing to accept just the dollar. After all, it's a dollar they wouldn't otherwise have had. People balked. The subjects had to give away as much as half to get the partners to help because it was "unfair" that the study subjects should get $999 while they only get a buck. Freeman interprets this as desiring fairness even when it goes against our economic interests. Surely there's some truth to that, but I'm not certain this study gets to the heart of it. Rather, the study subjects were trying to "purchase" the cooperation of the partners. The partners were hardly motivated to indulge the subject's greed for a dollar.
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