What do you think?
Rate this book
"Dirty Northern Bastards!" And Other Tales from the Terraces: The Story of Britain's Football Chants
"This is a book about football and Britain, and Britain and football. You can't fully understand one without the other; and if you haven't got a sense of humour it's not worth even trying.
"My name's Tim Marshall and it's been a week since my last match. I support a football club. That's not just five words; it' s a life sentence."
Why do so many of us attend football grounds, rain or shine, week in week out, to bellow at our fellow countrymen?
Because we love it.
Football chants are the grassroots of the game, from the Premier League all the way down to the Conference and beyond. They're funny. And they're sharp. And in the UK they run very deep.
In this witty and insightful account, Tim Marshall tells the story of British football through the songs and chants that give it meaning.
This is a book about the fans, written for the fans, with all the flair and banter that bring the beautiful game to life. No other sport has a culture quite like it.
Comes with a special weblink so you can hear the chants online at FanChants.com
"My name's Tim Marshall and it's been a week since my last match. I support a football club. That's not just five words; it' s a life sentence."
Why do so many of us attend football grounds, rain or shine, week in week out, to bellow at our fellow countrymen?
Because we love it.
Football chants are the grassroots of the game, from the Premier League all the way down to the Conference and beyond. They're funny. And they're sharp. And in the UK they run very deep.
In this witty and insightful account, Tim Marshall tells the story of British football through the songs and chants that give it meaning.
This is a book about the fans, written for the fans, with all the flair and banter that bring the beautiful game to life. No other sport has a culture quite like it.
Comes with a special weblink so you can hear the chants online at FanChants.com
244 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2014
31 people are currently reading
465 people want to read
About the author
Tim Marshall
21 books2,634 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Tim Marshall was Diplomatic Editor and foreign correspondent for Sky News. After thirty years' experience in news reporting and presenting, he left full time news journalism to concentrate on writing and analysis.
Originally from Leeds, Tim arrived at broadcasting from the road less traveled. Not a media studies or journalism graduate, in fact not a graduate at all, after a wholly unsuccessful career as a painter and decorator he worked his way through newsroom nightshifts, and unpaid stints as a researcher and runner before eventually securing himself a foothold on the first rung of the broadcasting career ladder.
After three years as IRN's Paris correspondent and extensive work for BBC radio and TV, Tim joined Sky News. Reporting from Europe, the USA and Asia, Tim became Middle East Correspondent based in Jerusalem.
Tim also reported in the field from Bosnia, Croatia and Serbia during the Balkan wars of the 1990s. He spent the majority of the 1999 Kosovo crisis in Belgrade, where he was one of the few western journalists who stayed on to report from one of the main targets of NATO bombing raids. Tim was in Kosovo to greet the NATO troops on the day they advanced into Pristina. In recent years he covered the conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, and Syria.
He has written for many of the national newspapers including the Times, the Guardian, the Daily Telegraph, and the Sunday Times.
Bio photo credit © Jolly Thompson.
Tim Marshall was Diplomatic Editor and foreign correspondent for Sky News. After thirty years' experience in news reporting and presenting, he left full time news journalism to concentrate on writing and analysis.
Originally from Leeds, Tim arrived at broadcasting from the road less traveled. Not a media studies or journalism graduate, in fact not a graduate at all, after a wholly unsuccessful career as a painter and decorator he worked his way through newsroom nightshifts, and unpaid stints as a researcher and runner before eventually securing himself a foothold on the first rung of the broadcasting career ladder.
After three years as IRN's Paris correspondent and extensive work for BBC radio and TV, Tim joined Sky News. Reporting from Europe, the USA and Asia, Tim became Middle East Correspondent based in Jerusalem.
Tim also reported in the field from Bosnia, Croatia and Serbia during the Balkan wars of the 1990s. He spent the majority of the 1999 Kosovo crisis in Belgrade, where he was one of the few western journalists who stayed on to report from one of the main targets of NATO bombing raids. Tim was in Kosovo to greet the NATO troops on the day they advanced into Pristina. In recent years he covered the conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, and Syria.
He has written for many of the national newspapers including the Times, the Guardian, the Daily Telegraph, and the Sunday Times.
Bio photo credit © Jolly Thompson.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
September 1, 2014
Dirty Northern B*st*rds – So Me
For many years following Manchester City when we have travelled south of Crewe I and my colleagues have often been called a dirty northern b*st*rd by some southern softie. At Wembley in the FA Cup semi-final against that lot from the swamp known as Manchester (they don’t come from there) United I was called a northern monkey by a United fan with a cockney accent. We won and had the last laugh on the glory hunting idiots. Not that I am biased.
Tim Marshall better known too many of us as the Diplomatic Editor on Sky News has let his dirty secret out, he is from Yorkshire and to compound his problems he is a Leeds United fan. I can feel his pain! Tim Marshall has also written a handy little book called Dirty Northern B*st*rds a story of Britain’s football chants.
I found this book highly amusing as it really does some up the banter, the very deep seated rivalries between football clubs and their fans. Anyone that really wants to understand British football whether it be at the top or down in the non-leagues then it is worth reading this book. Some are based on local rivalry or intercity rivalry or here in the North West of England those of us from Manchester recognise that we are superior to Liverpool and like to put them back in their box!
There is some excellent information and background to some of the songs that clubs sing and the irony involved in many of the chants we fans sing. Tim mentions the late 80s and 90s when Arsenal fans used to wave tenners at us City fans and other northern clubs not fantasy but fact having seen it with my own eyes. Now we can remind them that they are nothing more than our feeder club.
This is a brilliant way of showing the genesis of some of the songs and chants and how rather than making up tunes we steal them, I know we have no shame. But all the words are of our own making whether it is up at Newcastle or down in the smoke. Scotland has its own chants that can sometimes be a little close to the knuckle but that is football. As Marshall notes the game was originally working class where we went on a Saturday afternoon to let off steam and have a few pints. I can still remember my first experiences of the Kippax and the language heard in there and my dad just saying one day you will understand son. He was right there!
This book in a way explains some of the dilemmas a football fan whether it is their sudden rise to glory or in Manchester City’s case when we hit rock bottom in the second division we were often told we were no longer famous. Hence the invisible man song we now have. Every club has their own songs and chants and Marshall records a large number of those songs. It is interesting how or why we have our rivalries but the one thing we do have in common is we like singing as one at the game.
Long live this book, Dirty Northern B*st*rds really is a wonderful book which will make you laugh and cry in equal measure. This is the background to everything you really need to know about football fans their songs.
For many years following Manchester City when we have travelled south of Crewe I and my colleagues have often been called a dirty northern b*st*rd by some southern softie. At Wembley in the FA Cup semi-final against that lot from the swamp known as Manchester (they don’t come from there) United I was called a northern monkey by a United fan with a cockney accent. We won and had the last laugh on the glory hunting idiots. Not that I am biased.
Tim Marshall better known too many of us as the Diplomatic Editor on Sky News has let his dirty secret out, he is from Yorkshire and to compound his problems he is a Leeds United fan. I can feel his pain! Tim Marshall has also written a handy little book called Dirty Northern B*st*rds a story of Britain’s football chants.
I found this book highly amusing as it really does some up the banter, the very deep seated rivalries between football clubs and their fans. Anyone that really wants to understand British football whether it be at the top or down in the non-leagues then it is worth reading this book. Some are based on local rivalry or intercity rivalry or here in the North West of England those of us from Manchester recognise that we are superior to Liverpool and like to put them back in their box!
There is some excellent information and background to some of the songs that clubs sing and the irony involved in many of the chants we fans sing. Tim mentions the late 80s and 90s when Arsenal fans used to wave tenners at us City fans and other northern clubs not fantasy but fact having seen it with my own eyes. Now we can remind them that they are nothing more than our feeder club.
This is a brilliant way of showing the genesis of some of the songs and chants and how rather than making up tunes we steal them, I know we have no shame. But all the words are of our own making whether it is up at Newcastle or down in the smoke. Scotland has its own chants that can sometimes be a little close to the knuckle but that is football. As Marshall notes the game was originally working class where we went on a Saturday afternoon to let off steam and have a few pints. I can still remember my first experiences of the Kippax and the language heard in there and my dad just saying one day you will understand son. He was right there!
This book in a way explains some of the dilemmas a football fan whether it is their sudden rise to glory or in Manchester City’s case when we hit rock bottom in the second division we were often told we were no longer famous. Hence the invisible man song we now have. Every club has their own songs and chants and Marshall records a large number of those songs. It is interesting how or why we have our rivalries but the one thing we do have in common is we like singing as one at the game.
Long live this book, Dirty Northern B*st*rds really is a wonderful book which will make you laugh and cry in equal measure. This is the background to everything you really need to know about football fans their songs.
July 7, 2019
Highly entertaining and interesting book on being a football supporter -- the author like myself is a long suffering Leeds United fan -- with some great anecdotes. Fascinating background too on the chants and songs which are the hallmark of British football clubs especially. Of course there are some morons who prefer racist and anti-semitic rants because they are nasty bigots and lack imagination but they might pause to reflect that some of the clubs they support their songs are originally black spiritual songs.....others like the Leeds one was the result of a friend of Don Revie's going round to the house of the lyricist for Delilah -- which became the Stoke City anthem -- and other Tom Jones hits and refusing to budge until he and his fellow collaborator wrote a song for the great Leeds side. Not all successful composers met with success or accliam...imagine the distress to the great English composer Sir Edward Elgar who used to cycle from Malvern to follow Wolverhampton Wanderers -- there was a lady involved so his devotion may have been with another goal in mind -- and the genius behind Land of Hope and Glory and the Enigma Variations felt he could conjure up the same magic for the beautiful game ...alas his 'He Banged The Leather for Goal' was judged offside by the Wolves fans and Sir Edward's composition given a red card....anecdotes a plenty like that abound and written with real zest and brio by the former Diplomatic and foreign editor of Sky News....indeed from such high topics can one also produce a masterpiece of entertainment on the common man's game.
September 5, 2023
A hugely entertaining canter through terrace chants taking in folk songs and the folk tradition, the industrial revolution, linguistics, regional and national identity, medieval history, religious divides, hooliganism, modern masculinity, and much more. All interspersed regularly with wit, intelligence, and song.
February 13, 2019
We may not play it too well anymore but nobody does chanting like the football supporters of the British isles. Some of those recorded in this delightful book had me in tears of laughter. They're often harsh, sometimes cruel but usually raucously funny. What is most notable is that the author has sourced chants and sings from all divisions and regions.
September 14, 2021
That's Football
If you have lived a good and righteous life on the terraces, travelled away, had the beer, shouted the abuse, joined in the banter and most importantly sung the songs then you will love this. If you go for the sponsors box and prawn sandwiches then please walk away.
If you have lived a good and righteous life on the terraces, travelled away, had the beer, shouted the abuse, joined in the banter and most importantly sung the songs then you will love this. If you go for the sponsors box and prawn sandwiches then please walk away.
November 10, 2022
Marshall is a very talented author, with his geopolitical knowledge extensive, however his dive into a secondary home of his, the football ground, doesn’t hold a candle to his other work. Whilst refreshing to read and finding myself sufficiently giggling my way through this, I feel he tests the narrative of anti-racist and homophobic sentiments that are attached to football “thugs” too much.
I do agree that not all football goers are hooligans and appreciate his points on political correctness and how many chants and football quips are in no way derogatory, rather taken too literally. However, I find his beliefs that racism and other such hatred haven’t been worsened by busy football stadiums incorrect. Yes, it might be the minority. And yes, they should feel dumb. But, ultimately, children and others are in these stadiums and will be influenced by these chants no matter how much they think they won’t. Whilst he has been an avid football fan and wants to defend the stadiums, the argument strikes similarities to other horrible historic events where a minority pull the strings and the rest go along with it. Maybe he doesn’t agree with the racists in the crowds but the fact they are still in the papers every week with new slurs, shows his argument is flawed.
Parts of the book that cover history of British football and chants are good, but I just found Marshalls’ (a white, straight, English male) arguments against some of the worst parts of football diluted the impact the book could have had.
I do agree that not all football goers are hooligans and appreciate his points on political correctness and how many chants and football quips are in no way derogatory, rather taken too literally. However, I find his beliefs that racism and other such hatred haven’t been worsened by busy football stadiums incorrect. Yes, it might be the minority. And yes, they should feel dumb. But, ultimately, children and others are in these stadiums and will be influenced by these chants no matter how much they think they won’t. Whilst he has been an avid football fan and wants to defend the stadiums, the argument strikes similarities to other horrible historic events where a minority pull the strings and the rest go along with it. Maybe he doesn’t agree with the racists in the crowds but the fact they are still in the papers every week with new slurs, shows his argument is flawed.
Parts of the book that cover history of British football and chants are good, but I just found Marshalls’ (a white, straight, English male) arguments against some of the worst parts of football diluted the impact the book could have had.
January 9, 2019
Funny enough in its first 70 or so pages, but then it does get repetitive. A nice little collection of vignettes about tales of English rivalries and so on, but the last half of the book focusing on the roots of terrace chants is yawn-inducing for those not too interested in the pop culture of the early and mid 20th century.
October 2, 2022
The first third is very good. Debating the banter and politics; the humour etc around certain songs. Where the boundaries between offensive I.e Munich and satire are. The Jason Lee "Pineapple" song, good natured but not racist. The rest of the book is plodding, and uninspired picking out well known tropes and chants; which frankly don't warrant having a book written about them.
October 17, 2019
An entertaining enjoyable read about the craziness of football crowds, I don't agree with everything but the book is packed full of interesting background about a number of clubs chanting and highlights some very amusing one off chants.
February 21, 2020
Good read
A very entertaining read and some real classics in there. Football supporters carry on the tradition of celebrating in song, something people have been doing since the dawn of time.
A very entertaining read and some real classics in there. Football supporters carry on the tradition of celebrating in song, something people have been doing since the dawn of time.
April 10, 2024
The only winner is the reader.
The author certainly deserves man of the match , full of positives about the most important aspect of the game the fan's in the stands having a proper sense of humour.
The author certainly deserves man of the match , full of positives about the most important aspect of the game the fan's in the stands having a proper sense of humour.
June 24, 2018
"If it’s not fun – what’s the point?"
July 10, 2018
Why why why
Well that was a good little read.
The usual songs and the descents into the mental that are footballs.
Good
Well that was a good little read.
The usual songs and the descents into the mental that are footballs.
Good
November 2, 2018
Very funny, if you follow English or Scottish club football
May 4, 2020
So many chants nowadays are awful. Tim chooses the best and makes it funny. A great book to have in the loo.
March 4, 2021
Fun, witty, and lighthearted
Easy read. Gets a bit long at some point but still captivating. I would recommend it to people who love the beautiful game
Easy read. Gets a bit long at some point but still captivating. I would recommend it to people who love the beautiful game
November 17, 2021
Not as polished as his other books, you can tell this is his first one. Interesting nonetheless.
April 9, 2023
Entertaining, brisk, doesn’t take itself too seriously.
A few errors I reckon, but we’ll worth a look
A few errors I reckon, but we’ll worth a look
March 17, 2024
Ok, a touch drawn out but worth a read.
March 29, 2024
I wonder how the author would react to hearing the river to the sea in the light of views about Tottenham songs
August 1, 2024
Interesting read that covers all of English football culture. It did feel like a list at times and I think Tim Marshall’s geography books were a bit better
August 29, 2020
I am hesitant to give this a three-star rating. Typically I'm as unemotional as possible, but the last few pages of this book comforted my heart in a way few books ever have - and the author can't even take credit for the final composition!
At the beginning I was laughing on page one. I was laughing on page two. By page 10 I had stopped laughing as much. On page 38-ish I had a laugh. By page 126-ish I was ready for it to be over.
I am not from England so most of the regional humor goes over my head. It is advisable, should one be interested in this type of journalism, to keep an exceptionally detailed map of Great Britain on hand. I know the author was attempting to be humorous as much as possible, but I just couldn't understand any of it. Can you, American Soccer Fan, name a team from Yorkshire? Neither could I.
There are three main sections to this book. The first two (other than the previously stated funny parts) are mostly written for a British audience; they also tend to digress from the primary story. Although this wasn't poor enough to garner a one-star rating, two stars was looking promising.
Enter section three.
Had this book been written from the standpoint of section three, this could easily have been four-star; I'll explain.
Note this is not only written for a British audience, it is written for football fans. Not merely football fans, but football fans who are familiar with the history of terrace chants. In America this is a microscopic audience.
This is why section three is important. In my opinion, one assuredly need be a football fan to enjoy the section, but one need not be a Brit. The final section of the book is the most heartfelt. The author dove into the humorous, often sardonic, chants of British football. Whereas other chapters dove into explaining cultural differences and indifferences (<---not a word, but should be), the closing section was full-boar comedy (i.e. a chant targeted at the overbite-ridden Luis Suarez: "Your teeth were offside!"
At this point, nearing 1-star consideration, the book began to recover... and recover... and recover. Nearing the end of the chapter, I was already writing my review in my head. The lead would have been something to the effect of "Best two-star book I've read; probably a 2.9, if that grade were allowed."
No, as previously stated, the final couple pages won me over. It eventually morphed into one of the worst three-star books I've ever read.
I won't give away the final anecdote, but I think the penultimate anecdote deserves repeating, since it will not give away the ending. I'm not a supporter of poetry, but the following puts most poetry I've read to shame. Anyone, even non-football fans can enjoy the story told. At the very least it's a glimmer of hope I'll allow, this one time, into my oily heart. This song hails from Stockport County. And if you don't know what a scarf is, consider a rope:
We are everything in football
That people say's sad and wrong
But when we go to Edgeley Park
We will sing our County songs
We'll raise our voice in chorus
As we did in times before
And at Edgeley Park our greatest pride
Is the scarf my father wore
Chorus:
It's forever being beautiful
And the colour's white and blue
I wore it proudly 'round my neck
At Chesterfield & Crewe
My father was a County fan
Like me grandfather before
And at Edgeley Park I love to wear
The scarf my father wore
We will always follow County
To all games far and near
And at Edgeley Park we'll sing those songs
That me father loved to hear
We will raise our pints in memory
Of the games he loved to see
And at Edgeley Park, I'll wear the scarf
That me father left to me
Chorus:
It's passed down the generations
Of my family
Oh my granddad gave it to my dad
And me dad gave it to me
And when my time is over
And life's long race is run
I'll take the scarf from'round my neck
And I'll pass it to my son
It's forever being beautiful
And the colours white and blue
I wore the scarf around my neck
At Chesterfield and Crewe
My father was a County fan
Like me grandfather before
And at Edgeley Park I love to wear
The scarf my father wore
In the words of the author: That's football.
At the beginning I was laughing on page one. I was laughing on page two. By page 10 I had stopped laughing as much. On page 38-ish I had a laugh. By page 126-ish I was ready for it to be over.
I am not from England so most of the regional humor goes over my head. It is advisable, should one be interested in this type of journalism, to keep an exceptionally detailed map of Great Britain on hand. I know the author was attempting to be humorous as much as possible, but I just couldn't understand any of it. Can you, American Soccer Fan, name a team from Yorkshire? Neither could I.
There are three main sections to this book. The first two (other than the previously stated funny parts) are mostly written for a British audience; they also tend to digress from the primary story. Although this wasn't poor enough to garner a one-star rating, two stars was looking promising.
Enter section three.
Had this book been written from the standpoint of section three, this could easily have been four-star; I'll explain.
Note this is not only written for a British audience, it is written for football fans. Not merely football fans, but football fans who are familiar with the history of terrace chants. In America this is a microscopic audience.
This is why section three is important. In my opinion, one assuredly need be a football fan to enjoy the section, but one need not be a Brit. The final section of the book is the most heartfelt. The author dove into the humorous, often sardonic, chants of British football. Whereas other chapters dove into explaining cultural differences and indifferences (<---not a word, but should be), the closing section was full-boar comedy (i.e. a chant targeted at the overbite-ridden Luis Suarez: "Your teeth were offside!"
At this point, nearing 1-star consideration, the book began to recover... and recover... and recover. Nearing the end of the chapter, I was already writing my review in my head. The lead would have been something to the effect of "Best two-star book I've read; probably a 2.9, if that grade were allowed."
No, as previously stated, the final couple pages won me over. It eventually morphed into one of the worst three-star books I've ever read.
I won't give away the final anecdote, but I think the penultimate anecdote deserves repeating, since it will not give away the ending. I'm not a supporter of poetry, but the following puts most poetry I've read to shame. Anyone, even non-football fans can enjoy the story told. At the very least it's a glimmer of hope I'll allow, this one time, into my oily heart. This song hails from Stockport County. And if you don't know what a scarf is, consider a rope:
We are everything in football
That people say's sad and wrong
But when we go to Edgeley Park
We will sing our County songs
We'll raise our voice in chorus
As we did in times before
And at Edgeley Park our greatest pride
Is the scarf my father wore
Chorus:
It's forever being beautiful
And the colour's white and blue
I wore it proudly 'round my neck
At Chesterfield & Crewe
My father was a County fan
Like me grandfather before
And at Edgeley Park I love to wear
The scarf my father wore
We will always follow County
To all games far and near
And at Edgeley Park we'll sing those songs
That me father loved to hear
We will raise our pints in memory
Of the games he loved to see
And at Edgeley Park, I'll wear the scarf
That me father left to me
Chorus:
It's passed down the generations
Of my family
Oh my granddad gave it to my dad
And me dad gave it to me
And when my time is over
And life's long race is run
I'll take the scarf from'round my neck
And I'll pass it to my son
It's forever being beautiful
And the colours white and blue
I wore the scarf around my neck
At Chesterfield and Crewe
My father was a County fan
Like me grandfather before
And at Edgeley Park I love to wear
The scarf my father wore
In the words of the author: That's football.
March 14, 2017
Light hearted, aptly light weight, but readable to anyone interested in football culture. Background histories well researched
November 17, 2016
Interesting collection of stories and songs from the terraces.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews