Sometimes there are no heroes and villains in a story - just good people who can't meet each others' needs. For every dream pursued, there's collateral damage.
The question of sexuality orientation is a complicated one, as this author's story makes quite clear. Ms. Zerman grew up confident in her intelligence and ability to succeed, but feeling unattractive and unlovable. Anxious to be part of a couple, she endured an abusive relationship in high school, which ended when she went away to college. There she met a vibrant, dramatic young man who made her feel desirable and cherished. In spite of signs of hesitancy on the groom's part, she parlayed the relationship into a marriage that was in many ways loving and satisfying.
Ultimately, her husband's lack of interest in intimacy lead her to seek counseling. In the course of several difficult years, they came to understand more about themselves and their families and how circumstances had led two decent, well-meaning young people into a marriage that was fundamentally unsustainable.
To put it another way, their love and friendship survived, but not their marriage. As our society becomes more accepting of gays, many families are experiencing similar situations. The author cites a number of books, web sites, and support groups that were helpful to her during the transition.
Reconciled to the end of her marriage, but STILL determined to find someone to "complete" her, she started a relationship with a man who was in some ways the polar opposite of her husband. To go from marriage to an artistic gay man who was her "best girl friend" to living with a tech-head who chews tobacco and uses the same bath towel until it falls apart was quite a change. While the wisdom of rushing into another relationship so quickly is debatable, it certainly makes for an entertaining story.
It's hard to say why this book had such an effect on me or why I still remember and think about it three years after reading it. I was impressed with the author's intelligence and honesty. She comes across as a bright, hard-working, and very caring woman. All of us have to deal with personal and relationship problems at some point and I think her willingness to openly share her experiences is commendable. I wish her and her family all the best.