How Not to F*ck Up Your Marriage: Straight talk from a divorce lawyer who’s seen it all

by James Sexton

‘Who would have guessed that the person who gives the best advice about marriage was the guy responsible for getting you out of yours?’ – New York Times

'Brutally honest and wildly useful' - Steven Bartlett
James J. Sexton has spent over two decades in the trenches of high-stakes divorce – watching good people tear each other apart over bad communication, broken trust and problems that could’ve been solved early on. If they’d only known what to look for.
How Not to F*ck Up Your Marriage is what he wishes every couple had read before it was too late. This book is an early warning system, a no-punches-pulled guide to the small mistakes, blind spots, and lazy habits that quietly destroy relationships – and the real work it takes to stay in love for the long haul.
From emotional drift to financial landmines to social-media sabotaging, from sex to silence to the granola box that finally breaks you, this is a deeply practical, deeply funny guide to protecting your connection, resolving conflict before it escalates and staying close through real life.
Whether you’re in a relationship, out of one, or wondering if yours will last, this is the relationship book written by someone who has seen how they end – and who, despite it all, still believes in love.

Published by FlightStory Books.

277 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 17, 2025

Reviews

[Peter Ojo · Rating 5 out of 5]

an absolute must

[Laura Camerer Cuss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone who is married, or thinking about getting married, should probably find time to read this. It also includes some rather amusing anecdotes.

[Furball404 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the book as an audio book from audible

This was a good book, the subject is quite heavy, but I left with a much better understanding on why so many people divorce, and why some people maybe should, but at the same time a lot of good tips on how to maintain a good long term relationship or marriage, and a very clear picture on what things destroy one.

The reason I am only giving four stars is that some parts were a bit repetitive, and I am not sure if I agree with everything, but overall I learned a lot of, and it was well performed by the author himself.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the beginning James says his aim is an Anthony Bourdain style book and MAN does he deliver! It’s funny, and meaningful and as a newly wed it’s eye opening! I will be recommending to all my recently married friends and the fact it’s enjoyable is great! Honestly it might be one of the best things I’ve read this year!

[Allyson Dench · Rating 3 out of 5]

As recommended by Ann Patchett at Parnassus Books!

[Dom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this. Enjoy seeing this guy in YouTube videos. Binged it quickly, pretty relaxing and easy read. Couldn’t put it down and was fun.

[Jennie Clayton · Rating 4 out of 5]

One I picked up out of interest last year and finished over new year! Interesting disturbing stories, and a perfect what not to do!