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Waiting to Exhale #1
Esperando un respiro
Divertido e ingenioso relato sobre 4 mujeres negras de clase acomodada que forman una especie de hermandad para sobrellevar sus ajetreadas vidas.
416 pages, Hardcover
First published May 28, 1992
507 people are currently reading
10764 people want to read
About the author
Terry McMillan
47 books3,517 followersTerry McMillan is an African-American author. Her interest in books comes from working at a library when she was fourteen. She received her BA in journalism in 1986 from the University of California at Berkeley and the MFA Film Program at Columbia University. Her work is characterized by strong female protagonists.
Her first book, Mama, was self-promoted. She achieved national attention in 1992 with her third novel, Waiting to Exhale, which remained on The New York Times bestseller list for many months. Forest Whitaker turned it into a film in 1995. In 1998, another of McMillan's novels, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was made into a movie. McMillan's novel Disappearing Acts was subsequently produced as a direct-to-cable feature.
Her last novel, Who Asked You?, casts an intimate look at the burdens and blessings of family and speaks to trusting your own judgment even when others don’t agree.
Her first book, Mama, was self-promoted. She achieved national attention in 1992 with her third novel, Waiting to Exhale, which remained on The New York Times bestseller list for many months. Forest Whitaker turned it into a film in 1995. In 1998, another of McMillan's novels, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was made into a movie. McMillan's novel Disappearing Acts was subsequently produced as a direct-to-cable feature.
Her last novel, Who Asked You?, casts an intimate look at the burdens and blessings of family and speaks to trusting your own judgment even when others don’t agree.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 819 reviews
February 14, 2020
Love this book so much. Bernadine made me laugh like crazy!!! Definitely read this book it will make your year!!!
January 14, 2019
Read this in the early/mid-nineties before the movie came out (which I also really liked and cemented my devoted fangirling of Angela Bassett).
August 8, 2007
This is a case where I actually thought the movie was better than the book. The scene where Angela Bassett's character torches her philandering husband's vehicle with all his worldly goods inside was worth the price of admission.
December 4, 2013
That’s What Friends Are For
I originally read WAITING TO EXHALE in the 90s when I was a teenager. A group of us decided to reread the story to see if it would have the same impact on as mature women. I have never reread a book before. I was under the impression that doing so the story wouldn’t be as interesting and predictable. As key parts of the story, the line up from the movie played out, I could actually hear Whitney Houston, Lela Rochon, Loretta Devine and Angela Bassett’s voices.
Savannah has decided it’s time to leave Denver. She’s hoping that even though she’s taking a pay cut, that life in Phoenix will be very different for her, especially in the love department.
Bernadine’s husband, John, has just informed her after eleven years of marriage that he wants a divorce. While she wasn’t happily invested in their marriage, she never expected that he’d bail on her.
Robin has been doing every single thing she could think to find a man to love her. Each man she believes is the one has some sort of affliction or another.
Gloria has spent her entire adult life raising her son, Tarik, and running her beauty salon, the Oasis.
Successful in business, the women are all dealing with issues ranging from weight, caring for their parents, low self-esteem, single parenting, and stupid exes. The friends learn to navigate through it all and support one another.
What I absolutely love about WAITING TO EXHALE is that McMillan allows you to see the women in different stages and witness their growth. While desperation is the obvious fear, they all learn to love themselves, which is a very important lesson for all women.
I originally read WAITING TO EXHALE in the 90s when I was a teenager. A group of us decided to reread the story to see if it would have the same impact on as mature women. I have never reread a book before. I was under the impression that doing so the story wouldn’t be as interesting and predictable. As key parts of the story, the line up from the movie played out, I could actually hear Whitney Houston, Lela Rochon, Loretta Devine and Angela Bassett’s voices.
Savannah has decided it’s time to leave Denver. She’s hoping that even though she’s taking a pay cut, that life in Phoenix will be very different for her, especially in the love department.
Bernadine’s husband, John, has just informed her after eleven years of marriage that he wants a divorce. While she wasn’t happily invested in their marriage, she never expected that he’d bail on her.
Robin has been doing every single thing she could think to find a man to love her. Each man she believes is the one has some sort of affliction or another.
Gloria has spent her entire adult life raising her son, Tarik, and running her beauty salon, the Oasis.
Successful in business, the women are all dealing with issues ranging from weight, caring for their parents, low self-esteem, single parenting, and stupid exes. The friends learn to navigate through it all and support one another.
What I absolutely love about WAITING TO EXHALE is that McMillan allows you to see the women in different stages and witness their growth. While desperation is the obvious fear, they all learn to love themselves, which is a very important lesson for all women.
November 8, 2025
Hands up everyone who has ever had too much wine and wants to cry but ends up laughing with her friends. That's the birthday party scene. Real. Aching. And laugh out loud funny.
When I was teaching African American literature, I would include Waiting to Exhale after my students had made their way through Toni Morrison's Beloved. They exhaled in relief.
McMillan succeeds where Morrison doesn't to build bridges to connect us. With joy through our tears.
When I was teaching African American literature, I would include Waiting to Exhale after my students had made their way through Toni Morrison's Beloved. They exhaled in relief.
McMillan succeeds where Morrison doesn't to build bridges to connect us. With joy through our tears.
February 3, 2014
Not exactly sure why I read this. I suppose it was entertaining enough, but the writing was atrocious. The dialogue seemed wooden and disjointed (not to mention unnecessarily vulgar at times), but maybe since I was born in '86 I can't properly understand the plight of thirty something black women in the early '90s. Either way it was a quick read. I didn't hate it, but I also was disappointed by the lack of resolution at the end. I may have been better off just watching the movie, lol
December 31, 2009
This book has so many early 90s moments that I was often laughing as the characters listen to Paula Abdul in their Nissans while committing various fashion and hair crimes. No suede dress or fuschia lipstick is left undescribed.
The detailed episodes of lousy sex that the main characters endure with every possible kind of loser are funny and icky. Also the constant swearing and foul-mouthedness is great. This book has a light-heartedness that is endearing. Things are bought and used for pleasure; friends are lovingly cursed at; mothers are loved, supported, and often obeyed. Music is for dancing and champagne is for birthdays.
Unfortunately the character development is not as lovingly detailed, and I often could not remember which of the four major characters was narrating because their voices are too similar. Sometimes the dialog is good, and sometimes it is really, really bad. And the plot moves clunkily.
The detailed episodes of lousy sex that the main characters endure with every possible kind of loser are funny and icky. Also the constant swearing and foul-mouthedness is great. This book has a light-heartedness that is endearing. Things are bought and used for pleasure; friends are lovingly cursed at; mothers are loved, supported, and often obeyed. Music is for dancing and champagne is for birthdays.
Unfortunately the character development is not as lovingly detailed, and I often could not remember which of the four major characters was narrating because their voices are too similar. Sometimes the dialog is good, and sometimes it is really, really bad. And the plot moves clunkily.
September 10, 2018
Audio # 147
Fantastic novel about empowering women who aren’t perfect but can learn from their mistakes. I loved being given a peek into their minds and listening to them make their decisions. I’d probably make the same ones.
Fantastic novel about empowering women who aren’t perfect but can learn from their mistakes. I loved being given a peek into their minds and listening to them make their decisions. I’d probably make the same ones.
August 20, 2011
This is the tale of four black women who are friends in early 1990s Phoenix, Arizona. I can't say I found any of the woman all that likable; they're so whiny and man-hungry. We first meet Savannah, never married and without children at thirty-six. She's affluent, doing well in her career in public relations, but tired of being single and of the faults of "buppie" (young black urban professional) males. She tells us, "I worry about if and when I'll ever find the right man, if I'll ever be able to exhale." Her friend from college Bernadine is being divorced by her husband who has insulted her by leaving her for a "white woman." Because, she imagines, he needs a white woman to treat him like a king. (Frankly, the racism of these characters was a major turn off for me.) Gloria, a working mother, is using food to fill up the emptiness inside, while Robin uses sex. I do like the sisterly solidarity between the four, but for me the plot is creaky, their voices too similar, this doesn't strike me as all that well-written and all the male bashing got old as the women move from one jerk to another.
January 17, 2024
This was a buddy read and I really enjoyed this book.
It was a story of career driven black women, friendships and relationships. I honestly felt like I identified or had girlfriends that identified with each woman in the book.
Before I knew it was a book, I watched the movie and it’s one of my favorite movies.
While reading the book, I was able to picture Angela Bassett as Bernadine, Whitney Houston as Savanna, Loretta Devine as Gloria and Lela Rachon as Robin. It brought it to life for me. I could also hear Mary J. Blige and Whitney Houston’s soundtracks in certain parts on the book. The movie did leave out a lot of topics that were discussed in the book, but that is understandable. That’s why I prefer books. Lol.
Robin frustrated me the most but found her happy ending. Actually all of them took their power back at the end and got their happy ending. ❤️
I really appreciated that it was a group of black career-driven women and it included topics that affect the black community. It was written in the 90s so it definitely took me back to the 90s. Some things was a little outdated but that was expected. I will definitely be reading the sequel!
It was a story of career driven black women, friendships and relationships. I honestly felt like I identified or had girlfriends that identified with each woman in the book.
Before I knew it was a book, I watched the movie and it’s one of my favorite movies.
While reading the book, I was able to picture Angela Bassett as Bernadine, Whitney Houston as Savanna, Loretta Devine as Gloria and Lela Rachon as Robin. It brought it to life for me. I could also hear Mary J. Blige and Whitney Houston’s soundtracks in certain parts on the book. The movie did leave out a lot of topics that were discussed in the book, but that is understandable. That’s why I prefer books. Lol.
Robin frustrated me the most but found her happy ending. Actually all of them took their power back at the end and got their happy ending. ❤️
I really appreciated that it was a group of black career-driven women and it included topics that affect the black community. It was written in the 90s so it definitely took me back to the 90s. Some things was a little outdated but that was expected. I will definitely be reading the sequel!
June 14, 2025
standing ovation
August 2, 2019
I’ve always been a huge fan of the movie. In fact, it’s probably one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time! I came into this book a little skeptical. Not because I thought the book would be bad....but I prefer having my books spoiler free, meaning not having watched the movie first.
I absolutely LOVED this book! It got more into depth with the characters I loved so much and really painted a brighter picture for me. I loved how raw these ladies were. Cursing, wild sexcapades and just being themselves and not giving a damn what society thought of them. As a woman dating in today’s world, I found this book to be extremely relatable.
Looking forward to reading part 2 to continue to follow the lives of these ladies. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 from me!
I absolutely LOVED this book! It got more into depth with the characters I loved so much and really painted a brighter picture for me. I loved how raw these ladies were. Cursing, wild sexcapades and just being themselves and not giving a damn what society thought of them. As a woman dating in today’s world, I found this book to be extremely relatable.
Looking forward to reading part 2 to continue to follow the lives of these ladies. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 from me!
February 22, 2020
Four black women living in Phoenix in the 90s.
Savannah decides to leave Denver for Phoenix. The pretense is a new job, but it's one that forces her to take a paycut. Which is a bit crazy considering she's also supporting her mother financially. Based on what comes out about her past, I believe she is just bouncing from one city to the next hungrily searching for something to make her feel complete. I think she believes this is a man, that love will finally make her happy and feel whole. Really, she desperately needs to find herself.
Bernadine is trapped in a loveless marriage with a man she doesn't much care for and knows cheats on her. Yet she's still completely blindsided when he decides to leave her. I think she believed that by letting him screw around and not questioning him about it, they had some unspoken agreement to stay together for the kids: to be a team.
Gloria has spent her life being more or less married to her son. She's trying to raise a good man all on her own, eschewing any chance at romance with anyone other than his father who doesn't want her and barely has anything to do with the boy. She also struggles with her weight and running her own salon. She needs to learn to love herself and that she's worthy of love too.
Robin is entirely too obsessed with astrology, numerology, and other mysticism rather than taking responsibility and control for her own life. She's sexually aggressive, which isn't a bad thing, but she has terrible taste in men so she's constantly bouncing between several who aren't worthy of her while pushing away the only one who is worth her time.
Another book that has me torn. I enjoyed so much about the book. I liked the stories of their lives (yes even Robin's was interesting at times even if not instantly relatable). I loved how much there was in her of depth: social issues that impact us all (aging parents, raising children, marriage), well known black issues (HIV, crack, gangs), presumably real issues for any minority living in an area where there isn't a large percentage of the population to interact and identify with (such as black people in Phoenix). I love that these friends have each other, learn from each other, and support each other. There are so many little lessons in here. But...
The lack of resolution is troubling. I get that life goes on and sometimes it's not tied up in a pretty little bow. But books, are at the very least tied up even if it's not a pretty little bow. This book feels like the author eventually just stopped writing. I don't like that. I also realize that anytime you have a book told from multiple viewpoints, there is the chance of getting confused. But 2 of the stories are told in first person and 2 are not. That is infinitely confusing, especially when there is no chapter header to tell you which lady is speaking. Sometimes it takes several pages to even get to a line of dialogue where someone calls her by her name so you can figure out which life you are reading about. I can't even use the supporting characters to figure out what is going on. Even the stuff they talk about has enough overlap that it's not readily apparent. It was just terribly taxing to keep it all straight until about 2/3 of the way through.
And lastly, there was one major issue I had with Bernadine. There is a scene in which John has upset her yet again via Onika (their daughter). Onika is babbling on about her visit with John and the events of that visit, which upsets Bernadine. John Junior (the son) calls Onika a bitch, slaps her, and tells her to shut up because she talks too much and upset their mom. Bernadine listens on & watches all this from the secrecy of her bedroom WITH GLEE. Ok. I have an issue that she thinks this is appropriate behavior. It just seems to me that no, her son is not "on her side". Her son is exhibiting exactly the kind of behaviors that the ladies in the book complain about in the men they date. What type of man is he becoming?! And what kind of woman are you raising in your daughter by showing her that this is acceptable behavior from a man?! This scene alone significantly hurt an otherwise great book.
Savannah decides to leave Denver for Phoenix. The pretense is a new job, but it's one that forces her to take a paycut. Which is a bit crazy considering she's also supporting her mother financially. Based on what comes out about her past, I believe she is just bouncing from one city to the next hungrily searching for something to make her feel complete. I think she believes this is a man, that love will finally make her happy and feel whole. Really, she desperately needs to find herself.
Bernadine is trapped in a loveless marriage with a man she doesn't much care for and knows cheats on her. Yet she's still completely blindsided when he decides to leave her. I think she believed that by letting him screw around and not questioning him about it, they had some unspoken agreement to stay together for the kids: to be a team.
Gloria has spent her life being more or less married to her son. She's trying to raise a good man all on her own, eschewing any chance at romance with anyone other than his father who doesn't want her and barely has anything to do with the boy. She also struggles with her weight and running her own salon. She needs to learn to love herself and that she's worthy of love too.
Robin is entirely too obsessed with astrology, numerology, and other mysticism rather than taking responsibility and control for her own life. She's sexually aggressive, which isn't a bad thing, but she has terrible taste in men so she's constantly bouncing between several who aren't worthy of her while pushing away the only one who is worth her time.
Another book that has me torn. I enjoyed so much about the book. I liked the stories of their lives (yes even Robin's was interesting at times even if not instantly relatable). I loved how much there was in her of depth: social issues that impact us all (aging parents, raising children, marriage), well known black issues (HIV, crack, gangs), presumably real issues for any minority living in an area where there isn't a large percentage of the population to interact and identify with (such as black people in Phoenix). I love that these friends have each other, learn from each other, and support each other. There are so many little lessons in here. But...
The lack of resolution is troubling. I get that life goes on and sometimes it's not tied up in a pretty little bow. But books, are at the very least tied up even if it's not a pretty little bow. This book feels like the author eventually just stopped writing. I don't like that. I also realize that anytime you have a book told from multiple viewpoints, there is the chance of getting confused. But 2 of the stories are told in first person and 2 are not. That is infinitely confusing, especially when there is no chapter header to tell you which lady is speaking. Sometimes it takes several pages to even get to a line of dialogue where someone calls her by her name so you can figure out which life you are reading about. I can't even use the supporting characters to figure out what is going on. Even the stuff they talk about has enough overlap that it's not readily apparent. It was just terribly taxing to keep it all straight until about 2/3 of the way through.
And lastly, there was one major issue I had with Bernadine. There is a scene in which John has upset her yet again via Onika (their daughter). Onika is babbling on about her visit with John and the events of that visit, which upsets Bernadine. John Junior (the son) calls Onika a bitch, slaps her, and tells her to shut up because she talks too much and upset their mom. Bernadine listens on & watches all this from the secrecy of her bedroom WITH GLEE. Ok. I have an issue that she thinks this is appropriate behavior. It just seems to me that no, her son is not "on her side". Her son is exhibiting exactly the kind of behaviors that the ladies in the book complain about in the men they date. What type of man is he becoming?! And what kind of woman are you raising in your daughter by showing her that this is acceptable behavior from a man?! This scene alone significantly hurt an otherwise great book.
January 2, 2015
More like 4.5 stars
Waiting to Exhale is one of those books I should have read years ago. Literally every woman and her mama have become familiar with the lives of Savannah, Bernadine, Robin and Gloria, and I did also, but through the movie version (which I love). But now that I've finally read the book, I can say it lives up to the phenomenon it once was back in the early 1990s. Of course, it's much more fleshed out in the book, and I can see how Terry McMillan stirred so many black women and how the novel inspired countless imitators in its genre.
That being said, I truly enjoyed this novel, and the women are flawed but lovable. Can't ask for anything more. Now I'm off to read the sequel, Getting to Happy. And watch the movie for the 79838697392th time.
Waiting to Exhale is one of those books I should have read years ago. Literally every woman and her mama have become familiar with the lives of Savannah, Bernadine, Robin and Gloria, and I did also, but through the movie version (which I love). But now that I've finally read the book, I can say it lives up to the phenomenon it once was back in the early 1990s. Of course, it's much more fleshed out in the book, and I can see how Terry McMillan stirred so many black women and how the novel inspired countless imitators in its genre.
That being said, I truly enjoyed this novel, and the women are flawed but lovable. Can't ask for anything more. Now I'm off to read the sequel, Getting to Happy. And watch the movie for the 79838697392th time.
October 1, 2021
I liked a lot and found a lot to be fine. I think in 1992 this book would’ve felt ground shaking. Some fun pop culture stuff. Some fun friendships. A lot of stereotypes.
January 4, 2015
Before the pap that was How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Terry McMillan wrote the brilliant Waiting to Exhale, a story of four female friends and their triumphs and failures in their relationships with men.
::: The New Musketeers :::
As the novel opens, Savannah has just quit her job to move to a new job in Phoenix, where her friend Bernadine lives, in hopes of furthering her career and moving from public relations to television producing. Bernadine herself has just found out that her husband has not only been having an affair, but is leaving her for a white woman. Bernadine's other two friends, Gloria and Robin, aren't faring much better; Gloria is struggling with her teenage son, Tarik, and Robin is up to her eyeballs in debt and involved with a philandering loser who uses her for money, Russell.
Not one of the four seems to be able to find a good man. Savannah is too picky; Gloria is too wrapped up in her hair salon and raising her son on her own; Robin picks all the wrong men; and Bernadine finds that she has given her all to a man for eleven years and lost her own identity in the process. Savannah's move to Phoenix seems to coincide with changes in all their lives, as Bernadine finds a life outside her husband (after a scene made famous in the movie where she dumps her husband's designer suits in his BMW and sets the whole thing on fire), Gloria begins to let go of her son, Robin realizes that she doesn't always need a man to be with her, and that it's better to be alone than with the wrong man just to be with someone, and Savannah learns to let go and open up a little bit.
::: All For One and One For All :::
Throughout all the ups and downs with men, some serious and some downright comical, what comes through is how important friendship between women can be, both when life is going well and when it's not. Each one of the women has something to learn from the others, be it a willingness to loosen up a little, or a need to become more responsible. Throughout it all, the friends are able to accept each other as they are, even when they disagree with life choices. All three friends know that Robin's boyfriend Russell is a no-account loser, but accept that she needs to realize that on her own, even as they vent about him to each other.
McMillan's writing makes the women's relationships as well as their experiences tangible. Every woman can relate to Savannah's horror at finding herself stuck with a clingy man who was introduced by friends, and every woman will sigh when Bernadine meets James, who may well be the perfect man aside from his wife. While the focus is on four African-American women, the friendships and experiences with men are something that any woman can relate to, even if some of the characterizations of the men they meet border on stereotype. Their relationships with men don't define their lives; they merely reflect them. This book is a must-read.
This review previously published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/Waitin...
::: The New Musketeers :::
As the novel opens, Savannah has just quit her job to move to a new job in Phoenix, where her friend Bernadine lives, in hopes of furthering her career and moving from public relations to television producing. Bernadine herself has just found out that her husband has not only been having an affair, but is leaving her for a white woman. Bernadine's other two friends, Gloria and Robin, aren't faring much better; Gloria is struggling with her teenage son, Tarik, and Robin is up to her eyeballs in debt and involved with a philandering loser who uses her for money, Russell.
Not one of the four seems to be able to find a good man. Savannah is too picky; Gloria is too wrapped up in her hair salon and raising her son on her own; Robin picks all the wrong men; and Bernadine finds that she has given her all to a man for eleven years and lost her own identity in the process. Savannah's move to Phoenix seems to coincide with changes in all their lives, as Bernadine finds a life outside her husband (after a scene made famous in the movie where she dumps her husband's designer suits in his BMW and sets the whole thing on fire), Gloria begins to let go of her son, Robin realizes that she doesn't always need a man to be with her, and that it's better to be alone than with the wrong man just to be with someone, and Savannah learns to let go and open up a little bit.
::: All For One and One For All :::
Throughout all the ups and downs with men, some serious and some downright comical, what comes through is how important friendship between women can be, both when life is going well and when it's not. Each one of the women has something to learn from the others, be it a willingness to loosen up a little, or a need to become more responsible. Throughout it all, the friends are able to accept each other as they are, even when they disagree with life choices. All three friends know that Robin's boyfriend Russell is a no-account loser, but accept that she needs to realize that on her own, even as they vent about him to each other.
McMillan's writing makes the women's relationships as well as their experiences tangible. Every woman can relate to Savannah's horror at finding herself stuck with a clingy man who was introduced by friends, and every woman will sigh when Bernadine meets James, who may well be the perfect man aside from his wife. While the focus is on four African-American women, the friendships and experiences with men are something that any woman can relate to, even if some of the characterizations of the men they meet border on stereotype. Their relationships with men don't define their lives; they merely reflect them. This book is a must-read.
This review previously published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/Waitin...
August 31, 2022
Such a great book - told from the viewpoints of each character, Savannah, Robin, Bernadette & Gloria.
This group of friends each deal with their own problems in life - especially men. But their friendship bonds them.
Considering that I’ve seen this movie more times than I can count - I enjoyed getting the full scope of their characters from the book. And honestly, the ending was what I needed! It left them slightly open but still have the closure to their storylines that we don’t get from the movie.
There’s a reason this is a classic!
This group of friends each deal with their own problems in life - especially men. But their friendship bonds them.
Considering that I’ve seen this movie more times than I can count - I enjoyed getting the full scope of their characters from the book. And honestly, the ending was what I needed! It left them slightly open but still have the closure to their storylines that we don’t get from the movie.
There’s a reason this is a classic!
November 29, 2013
One of my favorite books by her.
January 22, 2018
Господи, какая отличная книга
January 24, 2024
Reading this as an adult hits so differently.
September 8, 2022
This was my second time reading the book. I first read it in high school, because I'd always heard the book and movie were really good. When I read it in high school, I lowkey hated the characters. I thought they were birds, and didn't understand all the wrong choices they made in men. But I was like 15, 16 years old so I thought I'd think better of it if I read it now since I'm older. Well I'm 24, almost 25 now, and I still think they're birds and I don't understand all of the bad choices they made in men. Savannah was preachy, and obviously the author's self-insert, the situation with Gloria and Tarik's dad still is really annoying, Robin's a bird, but like the sky is blue so that's not saying much, I think Bernadine is still my favorite, because she was the least bird-y of them all. Her night with James was really well written, and I felt the love and connection between them. Gloria and Marvin were done better in the movie than the book. Robin's arc was somewhat satisfying, because she finally learned how to love herself without a man, but sis is way too old to be so ditzy. I think I dislike Savannah more now than I did in high school, because it's so obvious that she thinks she's better than Robin, but she makes the same or even worse choices than her so I don't get where she gets off making all of the preachy rants that she makes. But I digress. Now I'm about to end this review and go listen to the movie soundtrack.
August 18, 2018
I love how nineties this is! I WANT to hear about people dancing to Caribbean Queen, Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul!! McMillan draws such great characters too - and has such a lovely, real storytelling style - I was surprised about how salty the language was! And I loved it! It made me laugh.
it is light - think sex and the city before sex and the city even existed - and its mainly about getting a guy (which got a little tiresome after a while) but under the lightness there's grit and steel! of course theres stuff about race and racism, but also AIDs and local politics. i think this must have been pretty revolutionary for black women when it first came out!
it is light - think sex and the city before sex and the city even existed - and its mainly about getting a guy (which got a little tiresome after a while) but under the lightness there's grit and steel! of course theres stuff about race and racism, but also AIDs and local politics. i think this must have been pretty revolutionary for black women when it first came out!
July 26, 2019
Reread- July 25, 2019
Still a favorite~
Still a favorite~
May 3, 2025
This book was hilarious!!!!
Well first, I think I’ve discovered my favorite genre, 90s books about friendship. This book gives me the same vibes as trying to sleep in the bed you made & 32 candles, two of my fav books from last year.
But yea this book tells the story of 4 friends in their thirties who are Living Life. It was such a refreshing thing to read because their conversations literally echoed those of me & my girlfriends… (we’ve been having the same conversations for decades!) womanhood is so important yall.
Read this in like 4 days & was constantly laughing. Would recommend!!
Well first, I think I’ve discovered my favorite genre, 90s books about friendship. This book gives me the same vibes as trying to sleep in the bed you made & 32 candles, two of my fav books from last year.
But yea this book tells the story of 4 friends in their thirties who are Living Life. It was such a refreshing thing to read because their conversations literally echoed those of me & my girlfriends… (we’ve been having the same conversations for decades!) womanhood is so important yall.
Read this in like 4 days & was constantly laughing. Would recommend!!
October 6, 2018
Great quick read!
August 18, 2025
I definitely enjoyed the movie more. Unfortunately I didn’t love nor liked the main characters and found myself very disappointed by the writing and personalities written throughout the book.
July 15, 2024
I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!! i could read it ten times over, good music recs, good reminder that i can be in my late thirties be single & still have a good time, love love love!
January 22, 2016
IQ "I know I'm not going to hear from him. And I hate the thought that I made a fool of myself. That I spilled my guts. Made my most intimate feelings known. How could somebody who acted so since be so insincere? How could he play with my feelings like this? I would never do this kind of shit to anybody." Savannah, 372
^Speak.On.It. It's probably just the frame of mood I'm in right now but those words perfectly capture how irritated I feel right now at placing myself in a similar situation. And there was no happy ending for either of us although of course we'll survive and move on. Just a quick digression, moving on.
I finally saw this movie last year and then a few days ago I decided to read the book since it's been in our home library for as long as I can remember. It has both a blessing and a cursing that this book is so dated. Personally I don't think it holds up well because there have been so many other books and a sprinkling of films and a plethora of articles that are easily accessible online that discuss the same things the author does in this book. However that is not the fault of the author so while I felt like it was redundant I recognize that at the time it was released, it was revolutionary. Using the characters the author is able to delve into a variety of conversation driven issues that white America was likely unaware of and confirm to Black women that they are not crazy for feeling the way they do. But the beauty of the book being so dated is also that I got a great feel for 30something 90s life, the author is incredibly descriptive of the music the women listen to, the slang they use, the popular contraceptives and the clothes they wear. It was eye opening (for example they talk about douching which every gyno now advises against) and amusing. Plus the Arizona setting puts you right in the thick of the battle to get MLK Day recognized (although I wish she had mentioned the political reasoning for why there was opposition). I also found the rumors swirling around HIV/AIDs to be chilling but enthralling, I was aware that SOME people at first had crazy paranoid reactions but McMillan manages convey the gravity of the situation as MOST people overreacted when they learned someone they knew had been diagnosed.
It should be noted that I absolutely hated Robin though and was veering toward that with Gloria as well. I have no patience in real life for friends who consistently make awful boy decisions and that carries over into my reading habits apparently. I raced through her chapters because she annoyed me so much and Gloria just made me sad because she had no life. But at least Gloria's life is looking up at the end, I wish I could say the same for Robin. I hope the author exaggerated the character of Robin because I shudder to think they are women out there who are that foolish, although I didn't appreciate how her friends slut shamed her constantly (so I guess I'll give McMillan credit for making me feel an ounce of sympathy and understanding). Bernie is also frustrating at first but out of all the characters it seemed like she actually grew into her own by the end and she was the most entertaining to read about. Also this is more of my own hang up but I finished this book in an absolute panic that I won't be afford to take care of my parents and am now struggling with the urge to switch career paths. So there's that. And that there's no hope for me when I'm ready to date. But again that's personal and I tried not to let it affect my review, if anything it speaks to the strength of the author because she really managed to hit home with all the issues she brings up.
Ultimately this is an enduring tale because of the beautifully portrayed friendship and unfortunately because Black women and men still have such a long way to go and the issues of class, race and gender aren't going anywhere. Some people may be annoyed by all the 80s and 90s references but I found it enjoyable.
^Speak.On.It. It's probably just the frame of mood I'm in right now but those words perfectly capture how irritated I feel right now at placing myself in a similar situation. And there was no happy ending for either of us although of course we'll survive and move on. Just a quick digression, moving on.
I finally saw this movie last year and then a few days ago I decided to read the book since it's been in our home library for as long as I can remember. It has both a blessing and a cursing that this book is so dated. Personally I don't think it holds up well because there have been so many other books and a sprinkling of films and a plethora of articles that are easily accessible online that discuss the same things the author does in this book. However that is not the fault of the author so while I felt like it was redundant I recognize that at the time it was released, it was revolutionary. Using the characters the author is able to delve into a variety of conversation driven issues that white America was likely unaware of and confirm to Black women that they are not crazy for feeling the way they do. But the beauty of the book being so dated is also that I got a great feel for 30something 90s life, the author is incredibly descriptive of the music the women listen to, the slang they use, the popular contraceptives and the clothes they wear. It was eye opening (for example they talk about douching which every gyno now advises against) and amusing. Plus the Arizona setting puts you right in the thick of the battle to get MLK Day recognized (although I wish she had mentioned the political reasoning for why there was opposition). I also found the rumors swirling around HIV/AIDs to be chilling but enthralling, I was aware that SOME people at first had crazy paranoid reactions but McMillan manages convey the gravity of the situation as MOST people overreacted when they learned someone they knew had been diagnosed.
It should be noted that I absolutely hated Robin though and was veering toward that with Gloria as well. I have no patience in real life for friends who consistently make awful boy decisions and that carries over into my reading habits apparently. I raced through her chapters because she annoyed me so much and Gloria just made me sad because she had no life. But at least Gloria's life is looking up at the end, I wish I could say the same for Robin. I hope the author exaggerated the character of Robin because I shudder to think they are women out there who are that foolish, although I didn't appreciate how her friends slut shamed her constantly (so I guess I'll give McMillan credit for making me feel an ounce of sympathy and understanding). Bernie is also frustrating at first but out of all the characters it seemed like she actually grew into her own by the end and she was the most entertaining to read about. Also this is more of my own hang up but I finished this book in an absolute panic that I won't be afford to take care of my parents and am now struggling with the urge to switch career paths. So there's that. And that there's no hope for me when I'm ready to date. But again that's personal and I tried not to let it affect my review, if anything it speaks to the strength of the author because she really managed to hit home with all the issues she brings up.
Ultimately this is an enduring tale because of the beautifully portrayed friendship and unfortunately because Black women and men still have such a long way to go and the issues of class, race and gender aren't going anywhere. Some people may be annoyed by all the 80s and 90s references but I found it enjoyable.
December 8, 2025
Waiting to Exhale is my favorite movie of all time. I can literally watch it on repeat. But as much as I love the movie, I never read the book. I can honestly say that I enjoyed this. I laughed out loud several times and felt what these women felt on an intimate level. Experiencing heartbreak, money issues, and dealing with sick parents isn’t fun. The girls were all truly waiting to exhale.
But, I did have some issues with the book, and this is where I think the movie is a better pick. For one, the ladies constantly slut-shamed Robin, even though Bernie and Savannah were both sleeping with married men. If Robin is “dizzy,” then they’re both dumb and dumber. I also had an issue with them constantly fat-shaming Gloria. When I read that she was only 210 pounds, my mouth dropped. THAT’S what they’re calling fat? I know we’re going by 90s standards, but still, that’s not fat. And even if she was, who cares? What type of friend constantly calls their other friend fat? Lastly, I had a big issue with John Jr. calling Onika the B word and slapping her, and all Bernie did was laugh. Like what? That was so weird.
I enjoyed this on the whole though. I would recommend this but it’s important to note that some of the representations are very dated.
But, I did have some issues with the book, and this is where I think the movie is a better pick. For one, the ladies constantly slut-shamed Robin, even though Bernie and Savannah were both sleeping with married men. If Robin is “dizzy,” then they’re both dumb and dumber. I also had an issue with them constantly fat-shaming Gloria. When I read that she was only 210 pounds, my mouth dropped. THAT’S what they’re calling fat? I know we’re going by 90s standards, but still, that’s not fat. And even if she was, who cares? What type of friend constantly calls their other friend fat? Lastly, I had a big issue with John Jr. calling Onika the B word and slapping her, and all Bernie did was laugh. Like what? That was so weird.
I enjoyed this on the whole though. I would recommend this but it’s important to note that some of the representations are very dated.
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