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A Life Stolen: My Father's Journey Through Alzheimer's
A Life Stolen is the gripping account of a father and daughter’s devastating, but inspiring journey through Alzheimer’s. It’s an inside look into the day-to-day challenges facing not only the patient, but also the caregivers. For many years, her father exhibited signs of dementia, eventually becoming too significant to ignore. Everything culminated during an incident one night, after which her father was taken away, never to return to his home again. The disease changed him every day until he was a stranger. Then, it stole his life. Through the initial days at home to hospital stays, living in a memory care unit, rehab stints and eventually hospice care, this book reveals many of the struggles encountered while facing Alzheimer’s in a world not quite ready for it. It is based on actual events depicted exactly as they happened while travelling the heartbreaking and harrowing road through this horrific illness. Its purpose is to give guidance and insight to others caring for loved ones with this terrible affliction, whether it is in providing helpful information, feelings of support or simply words of encouragement. Most importantly, the hope is that it will make the road for others an easier one to travel. May the many tears in this journey be the fortitude that helps others deal with the adversity from this overwhelming disease.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
485 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 25, 2014
100 people are currently reading
136 people want to read
About the author
Vanessa Luther
3 books119 followersVanessa Luther is the author of A Life Stolen: My Father's Journey Through Alzheimer's, Blind Eye and Where Dandelions Sway.
She grew up in Hialeah, Florida and later moved to Pensacola, where she met and married her husband. After graduating from the University of West Florida with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, they moved to Atlanta, Georgia where she worked as a Consulting Software Engineer for 17 years. Vanessa put her career on hold to raise her three sons and eventually became the primary caregiver for both of her parents.
She currently lives in Lawrenceville, Georgia with her husband, three sons and their yellow lab, Gracie.
Connect with Vanessa Luther
www.facebook.com/VanessaLutherAuthor
www.amazon.com/author/vanessaluther
She grew up in Hialeah, Florida and later moved to Pensacola, where she met and married her husband. After graduating from the University of West Florida with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, they moved to Atlanta, Georgia where she worked as a Consulting Software Engineer for 17 years. Vanessa put her career on hold to raise her three sons and eventually became the primary caregiver for both of her parents.
She currently lives in Lawrenceville, Georgia with her husband, three sons and their yellow lab, Gracie.
Connect with Vanessa Luther
www.facebook.com/VanessaLutherAuthor
www.amazon.com/author/vanessaluther
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
February 9, 2016
Journey
This book reminds me so much of what my dad is experiencing at this time. I am a certified trainer for Alzheimer's but once it hits home it is difficult.
This book reminds me so much of what my dad is experiencing at this time. I am a certified trainer for Alzheimer's but once it hits home it is difficult.
October 12, 2016
Having lost my own dad to Alzheimers, my heart truly went out to the author of this book as she balanced the juggling act of being advocate/carer for the needs of her beloved dad and watched out for her mum while also trying to be available for her own family. Her attempts to find adequate care, let alone good care, deal with all the paper work involved and coordinate with all his providers is the stuff of nightmares. The narrative is in the form of ongoing journal entries with occasional flashbacks to give some context to the background. I thought these worked well, but was wishing she’d used a good copy editor to weed out a lot of the minutiae of daily living, along with much of the repetition. It’s also more effective to show rather than tell the reader what’s happening and what people are feeling. Above all, don’t tell if you’ve just shown; the reader has the ability to draw their own conclusions.
All in all, though, in addition to describing a beautiful relationship between family members, and between father and daughter in particular, the importance of this book lies in drawing attention to the need for medical providers across the board to be more aware of the needs of patients suffering from dementia, and the desperate need for carers and facilities with specialised training in dementia care.
All in all, though, in addition to describing a beautiful relationship between family members, and between father and daughter in particular, the importance of this book lies in drawing attention to the need for medical providers across the board to be more aware of the needs of patients suffering from dementia, and the desperate need for carers and facilities with specialised training in dementia care.
July 28, 2014
A Life Stolen is a heart wrenching account of the effect of Alzheimer's Disease on a loving family. Just as they are realizing their dreams of living close to their grandchildren after retirement, Luther's father starts to exhibit the outward signs of this devastating disease. The journey they take together is one that will become more familiar to readers as the sufferers of Alzheimer's dementia increases in our country. Although it reads like fiction with rich characterizations, A Life Stolen is the true story of a daughter's disbelief as she watches her beloved father deteriorate. The struggles she encounters to get him the appropriate care while dealing with her own grief and still working and caring for her young family demonstrates how important it is that our healthcare system expand their measures for research, diagnosis and treatment. Very well written.
March 13, 2017
Sad...
What a sad story and an awful disease. Your words are a comfort.
Three years ago my mother-in-law had a stroke which required the installation of a pacemaker. From the hospital she went to rehab. A terrible experience. She was on a low sodium diabetic diet. There was never anything marked on her tray showing they were following any guidelines. Her medications were placed on her bedside table. It was up to her to pour her own water to take her medicine. The problem with this? She's almost blind! Her feet would swell and she had horrendous sores on her legs.
Against regulations (ha) my husband demanded her release and got it.
To make a long story short, she has been with us for 2 1/2 years. Her progress is minimal. The disease keeps on winning.
Thank you for sharing your story. It does help.
What a sad story and an awful disease. Your words are a comfort.
Three years ago my mother-in-law had a stroke which required the installation of a pacemaker. From the hospital she went to rehab. A terrible experience. She was on a low sodium diabetic diet. There was never anything marked on her tray showing they were following any guidelines. Her medications were placed on her bedside table. It was up to her to pour her own water to take her medicine. The problem with this? She's almost blind! Her feet would swell and she had horrendous sores on her legs.
Against regulations (ha) my husband demanded her release and got it.
To make a long story short, she has been with us for 2 1/2 years. Her progress is minimal. The disease keeps on winning.
Thank you for sharing your story. It does help.
May 26, 2015
An honest straightforward telling of the experience, good and bad times, of what it is like to be the caregiver of someone with Alzheimers, in this case, her father. She explains in the beginning that, some of what happened was painful to relate but she deliberately chose to be painfully honest at the risk of putting her family in a negative light. I wholeheartedly respect that and was glad she did. Sugar coating her story would not have helped others going through their situation.
August 6, 2015
This book really pulls at your heart strings, and takes you through Vanessa's life through the eyes of a caregiver, so many people who do not either have the privilege to experience, or simply cannot do. It is a thankless, tireless, and sometimes almost exasperating job, but as she said in her book, the "sandwich generation" gets lost between taking care of their kids, and aging parents. A very touching, and heartbreaking story.
June 16, 2021
Thank You
Thank you for writing this wonderful book. I understand having lived it with my husband. Take care and God Bless You for writing this book.
Thank you for writing this wonderful book. I understand having lived it with my husband. Take care and God Bless You for writing this book.
May 28, 2015
A hard book to read
The author must have suffered a lot reliving her experience with her dad's Alzheimer's. For someone like myself who has some distance from a family loss, it was thought-provoking. For someone who knows some about the disease, it gives details of the devastating progression. I recently read Stlll Alice -- a book I'd highly recommend to all.
The author must have suffered a lot reliving her experience with her dad's Alzheimer's. For someone like myself who has some distance from a family loss, it was thought-provoking. For someone who knows some about the disease, it gives details of the devastating progression. I recently read Stlll Alice -- a book I'd highly recommend to all.
September 3, 2015
Very good book on what it's like to live with a person with dementia or Alzheimer's. I feel it is a must read if anyone you know has either of these diseases, gives a very good insight on what is happening. Even if it's just a friend who has someone in their life with either of these it will give you a little clue of what they are going thru tending to their loved one.
July 28, 2014
A must read if you are taking care of a relative with this horrible disease! The author was completely honest in her telling of this tragic journey! Great job Vanessa!
June 23, 2016
Amazing story. Vanessa Luther wrote from the heart about her father's disease of Alzheimer's.
July 18, 2017
I read many books about people’s experiences caregiving someone with Alzheimer’s, because my mother’s maternal family has been overrun with this horrible disease. My mother, her three siblings, their mother and many other relatives have or had this disease. I have seen the devastation of it all of my life and it has become a passion of mine.
I just finished reading a most fantastic book about a woman’s experiences caregiving her father through Alzheimer’s. The book is “A Life Stolen: My Father’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s,” by Vanessa Luther. Her father had various health problems and exhibited memory problems. When he began having Sundowners and the anger that goes with it, an incident happened one night resulting in him being removed from his home never to return.
The disease changed him almost daily until he became a stranger. Her book takes the reader through initial days at home, hospital stays, her father living in a memory care unit, rehab stints and eventually hospice care.
She wrote the book similar to a diary, showing her struggles to deal with her father’s problems. She made mistakes and later realized better ways to handle situations. Her goal with the account of her experience is to help others find their way through similar struggles, hopefully making things a little easier for the caregivers of loved ones with this horrible disease.
This book is one of the most emotionally-charged books about Alzheimer’s I have read. There were many times when I had tears while reading about her tears and other times when I laughed with her at something. I found the book very interesting and hope it will help others in similar situations. If you are beginning to suspect memory problems in a loved one, you NEED to read this book, especially the end of the book. The author gives quite a bit of important advice in her Afterword.
I just finished reading a most fantastic book about a woman’s experiences caregiving her father through Alzheimer’s. The book is “A Life Stolen: My Father’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s,” by Vanessa Luther. Her father had various health problems and exhibited memory problems. When he began having Sundowners and the anger that goes with it, an incident happened one night resulting in him being removed from his home never to return.
The disease changed him almost daily until he became a stranger. Her book takes the reader through initial days at home, hospital stays, her father living in a memory care unit, rehab stints and eventually hospice care.
She wrote the book similar to a diary, showing her struggles to deal with her father’s problems. She made mistakes and later realized better ways to handle situations. Her goal with the account of her experience is to help others find their way through similar struggles, hopefully making things a little easier for the caregivers of loved ones with this horrible disease.
This book is one of the most emotionally-charged books about Alzheimer’s I have read. There were many times when I had tears while reading about her tears and other times when I laughed with her at something. I found the book very interesting and hope it will help others in similar situations. If you are beginning to suspect memory problems in a loved one, you NEED to read this book, especially the end of the book. The author gives quite a bit of important advice in her Afterword.
October 27, 2017
A Touching Love Between Father, Daughter and Family
To be honest, it did take me a while to really get into this book, but I couldn’t get myself to quit on it. By the end of the book, I knew why. The author had to introduce the many “parts” of her father’s family: his wife, his children, his grandchildren, which would be the author’s mother, brother, her and her sibling’s children. The reader had to know these people as individuals, as the subject touched their lives so deeply.
The subject is the author, Vanessa Luther’s father, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. The story begins as she suspects something is wrong. His memory, his personality changes, especially at night, due to a condition called sundowners. The book shows the progression of the disease, in her Dad’s case, and how it affected her day to day life, and well as her relationship with her Dad.
She shows well how the medical industry can be such a bureaucracy, and when the patient cannot be his or her
advocate, the caretakers must take that role.
The beginning of the book focuses more on the relationships, and when her father’s dementia and other health problems enter the late stages, the focus shifts more to the problems providing for his care.
she provides the readers lessons and warnings about Alzheimer’s, one of which is that our society may be in denial when it comes to Alzheimer’s and other dementia among the older generation; that the medical industry, as a whole, has yet to come up with a way to deal with these issues effectively
In the end, it is a story about the bond between father and daughter in an environment of a biggerfamily circle of love, and the devastation is caused to those relationship when Alzheimer’s develops. And in the final stages of the book and disease, we understand why Luthor titled her book, “A Life Stolen.”
To be honest, it did take me a while to really get into this book, but I couldn’t get myself to quit on it. By the end of the book, I knew why. The author had to introduce the many “parts” of her father’s family: his wife, his children, his grandchildren, which would be the author’s mother, brother, her and her sibling’s children. The reader had to know these people as individuals, as the subject touched their lives so deeply.
The subject is the author, Vanessa Luther’s father, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. The story begins as she suspects something is wrong. His memory, his personality changes, especially at night, due to a condition called sundowners. The book shows the progression of the disease, in her Dad’s case, and how it affected her day to day life, and well as her relationship with her Dad.
She shows well how the medical industry can be such a bureaucracy, and when the patient cannot be his or her
advocate, the caretakers must take that role.
The beginning of the book focuses more on the relationships, and when her father’s dementia and other health problems enter the late stages, the focus shifts more to the problems providing for his care.
she provides the readers lessons and warnings about Alzheimer’s, one of which is that our society may be in denial when it comes to Alzheimer’s and other dementia among the older generation; that the medical industry, as a whole, has yet to come up with a way to deal with these issues effectively
In the end, it is a story about the bond between father and daughter in an environment of a biggerfamily circle of love, and the devastation is caused to those relationship when Alzheimer’s develops. And in the final stages of the book and disease, we understand why Luthor titled her book, “A Life Stolen.”
January 26, 2021
A Must Read
You have opened my eyes to Alzheimer's. Your story was very touching and also very informative! I think many doctors and any medical personnel should read this book, if nothing else maybe they would realize how important it is to have all the right knowledge to care for each patient! Luckily I have only been touched by this terrible disease by an uncle who recently passed, yet your book gave me much insite to what his wife and children were going through. I think more should be written about Sundowner's Syndrome, it is apparent after reading your book, that my uncle suffered from this too. Unfortunately, most of us family members thought the wife was making up stories. Like your father, he had always been a loving and gentle man so we had a difficult time believing her. We owe her an apology. I would recommend this book to everyone over 16, as there is alot of good information in this book but may be a bit difficult for someone young to grasp. Thank you so very much for sharing your very personal experience and for not glossing over even the most difficult periods. Know that you should not feel guilty about any of your decisions because they were made with the best information you had at that time!
You have opened my eyes to Alzheimer's. Your story was very touching and also very informative! I think many doctors and any medical personnel should read this book, if nothing else maybe they would realize how important it is to have all the right knowledge to care for each patient! Luckily I have only been touched by this terrible disease by an uncle who recently passed, yet your book gave me much insite to what his wife and children were going through. I think more should be written about Sundowner's Syndrome, it is apparent after reading your book, that my uncle suffered from this too. Unfortunately, most of us family members thought the wife was making up stories. Like your father, he had always been a loving and gentle man so we had a difficult time believing her. We owe her an apology. I would recommend this book to everyone over 16, as there is alot of good information in this book but may be a bit difficult for someone young to grasp. Thank you so very much for sharing your very personal experience and for not glossing over even the most difficult periods. Know that you should not feel guilty about any of your decisions because they were made with the best information you had at that time!
May 25, 2020
True to life account
I have lived, through my mother, a dementia infused life. This author's description is on-point and correct in all respects what is to be expected when dealing with the horrible affliction of Alzheimer's disease. It affects, not only the patient's life, but the life of the entire family. Ms. Luther's father endured a one year rapid decline, after his initial diagnosis, as opposed to the more common 5-10 year slower decline. She describes well the hardships encountered, the emotional turmoil, and the guilt often felt wondering if we could have done more or differently to garner a better outcome. This book is well written, well edited, and a source of inspiration, encouragement, and education. I would recommend it to the caregivers of one who has Alzheimer's, those who wants to learn about the disease, or to those in the medical field. We all need to know about this tragic disease that afflicts one American every 68 seconds. We must no longer ignore it's toll on society and the medical field.
I have lived, through my mother, a dementia infused life. This author's description is on-point and correct in all respects what is to be expected when dealing with the horrible affliction of Alzheimer's disease. It affects, not only the patient's life, but the life of the entire family. Ms. Luther's father endured a one year rapid decline, after his initial diagnosis, as opposed to the more common 5-10 year slower decline. She describes well the hardships encountered, the emotional turmoil, and the guilt often felt wondering if we could have done more or differently to garner a better outcome. This book is well written, well edited, and a source of inspiration, encouragement, and education. I would recommend it to the caregivers of one who has Alzheimer's, those who wants to learn about the disease, or to those in the medical field. We all need to know about this tragic disease that afflicts one American every 68 seconds. We must no longer ignore it's toll on society and the medical field.
May 7, 2018
Having lost my Father to Alzheimer’s, some of this book was a very hard read for me. I so well remember searching with my Mother for decent places where my Dad could live and be well cared for, watching him losing the ability to remember places and people and rejoicing the day I went to visit him with my daughter and having him call her by her name.
This book goes through the family discovering their Father has Alzheimer’s, trying to find and keep him in good care establishments and discovering that not only is good care hard to find but there are still things the family members do that caregivers don’t, and then covers the end you know is coming.
I would recommend this book for people with recently diagnosed loved ones, families that are further along in this awful disease process, and for those of us who have lost loved ones to this disease. It is not a happy ending but does let all of us affected by Alzheimer’s as patients, family or friends know that we are not alone
This book goes through the family discovering their Father has Alzheimer’s, trying to find and keep him in good care establishments and discovering that not only is good care hard to find but there are still things the family members do that caregivers don’t, and then covers the end you know is coming.
I would recommend this book for people with recently diagnosed loved ones, families that are further along in this awful disease process, and for those of us who have lost loved ones to this disease. It is not a happy ending but does let all of us affected by Alzheimer’s as patients, family or friends know that we are not alone
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2019
Life’s choices
I learned a lot of things I didn’t know about this horrible disease. Toward the end I started to get a little frustrated with the author because I thought she was going to do anything to keep her dad alive no matter how much he was suffering. Fortunately it was just a brief period of time and I think she came to the realization of this. There is no doubt she loved her dad more than anything and anyone would be proud to have a daughter like that. After reading this book I can’t help but feel sadness for those families that don’t have support systems to help with this illness.
I learned a lot of things I didn’t know about this horrible disease. Toward the end I started to get a little frustrated with the author because I thought she was going to do anything to keep her dad alive no matter how much he was suffering. Fortunately it was just a brief period of time and I think she came to the realization of this. There is no doubt she loved her dad more than anything and anyone would be proud to have a daughter like that. After reading this book I can’t help but feel sadness for those families that don’t have support systems to help with this illness.
March 4, 2020
A guidebook for families of Alzheimer's patients
The author shares many heartbreaking moments in a very candid way. My mother suffered many similar experiences before she succumbed to Alzheimer's in 2018. Reading about Ms Luther's guilt and self doubt about the many awful decisions facing a care giver were incredibly validating. Nothing prepares you for the personality changes and the mental deterioration that a Alzheimer's patients goes through. We can only hope science finds a cure or a way to alleviate the suffering to save future patients. Thank you for sharing your story.
The author shares many heartbreaking moments in a very candid way. My mother suffered many similar experiences before she succumbed to Alzheimer's in 2018. Reading about Ms Luther's guilt and self doubt about the many awful decisions facing a care giver were incredibly validating. Nothing prepares you for the personality changes and the mental deterioration that a Alzheimer's patients goes through. We can only hope science finds a cure or a way to alleviate the suffering to save future patients. Thank you for sharing your story.
October 19, 2017
Vanessa Luther's father was the most loving, compassionate person she'd ever known, until Alzheimer's disease stole a part of who he was. Even though I knew an inevitable tragic ending was ahead, I was riveted to the daily caregiving of Vanessa for her father. She had no idea what she would face each day as Chester descended deeper into his illness. Despite his frequent personality changes, Vanessa never wavers in her devotion. An inspiring story of love and caregiving.
May 15, 2019
Deeply moving
I found this book heart wrenching because it mirrored my own experience with my sister. She was younger and it took longer but the feelings and emotions are still the same. To see someone you love slowly leave you really breaks your heart and there is nothing you can do. Terminal cancer is a wasting disease but they are still with you. Vanessa is so blessed that her father had one last moment of lucidity her and her mother. Well done.
I found this book heart wrenching because it mirrored my own experience with my sister. She was younger and it took longer but the feelings and emotions are still the same. To see someone you love slowly leave you really breaks your heart and there is nothing you can do. Terminal cancer is a wasting disease but they are still with you. Vanessa is so blessed that her father had one last moment of lucidity her and her mother. Well done.
June 26, 2021
I wish there had been a home care involved with the father.. and hospice should have been ordered earlier. The problems with facilities and personnel are standard. The problem is not enough trained personnel, high turnover in employees, too much work, not enough time. In my opinion, the father should have been in a skilled nursing facility from the beginning, which he obviously wasn't.
I am a retired RN, who has done a lot of home care and hospice, so I have had experience.
I am a retired RN, who has done a lot of home care and hospice, so I have had experience.
October 20, 2022
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.. my dad had to keep an eye on her as she would do things backwards at times.. spread cream cheese on the bagel then put it in the toaster that sort of thing.. lost my mother in 2015 from cardiac arrest. Having read the author's experiences with her father's battle with this terrible disease, I can honestly look at the when and how of the loss of my mother as a blessing in disguise as she hadn't progressed to the point of not knowing us, etc.
November 27, 2017
A Fine but Frustrating Read
This book held my interest from beginning to end. It is a valuable read for anyone involved with a dementia patient and highly recommended for everyone else. Sadly, I found an abundance of dangling participles, misplaced modifiers and rogue commas very distracting.
This book held my interest from beginning to end. It is a valuable read for anyone involved with a dementia patient and highly recommended for everyone else. Sadly, I found an abundance of dangling participles, misplaced modifiers and rogue commas very distracting.
March 15, 2019
Life stolen from Alzheimer
This was an amazing story. Very informative and teary eyed. Something that no one should have to go through, but it's a part of life. Vanessa was an amazing daughter juggling her family and taking care of her dad and looking out for her mom. Never know this could happen to someone in your family. Watch for the symptoms.
This was an amazing story. Very informative and teary eyed. Something that no one should have to go through, but it's a part of life. Vanessa was an amazing daughter juggling her family and taking care of her dad and looking out for her mom. Never know this could happen to someone in your family. Watch for the symptoms.
May 31, 2024
Compelling
Having been down a similar road, I could truly appreciate all that was happening. I liked the style of writing where it takes you day by day in the life of struggling through Alzheimer’s. In the end, it’s like a love story written by a devoted and grateful daughter.
Having been down a similar road, I could truly appreciate all that was happening. I liked the style of writing where it takes you day by day in the life of struggling through Alzheimer’s. In the end, it’s like a love story written by a devoted and grateful daughter.
April 12, 2019
Moving
The book was so touching and true. My husband has Alzheimer’s and this book gave true insight of what is ahead. Not only for my husband, but for our whole family.
The book was so touching and true. My husband has Alzheimer’s and this book gave true insight of what is ahead. Not only for my husband, but for our whole family.
May 13, 2019
Very informative
I am now going through this journey with my mom. So many similarities in their actions. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am now going through this journey with my mom. So many similarities in their actions. Thank you for sharing your story.
June 9, 2019
Excellent read and a real helpful way to learn about Alzheimer’s from a family perspective. Because it is her journey it does drag on at times but still worth reading.
October 24, 2019
A Life Stolen
In writing this book the author has given the best tribute possible to her father and those that suffer from Alzheimer's.
In writing this book the author has given the best tribute possible to her father and those that suffer from Alzheimer's.
May 11, 2022
Reading this on our ereader. We are having problems like this in our family, so figured I should know more about the disease. I found it amazing how rapidly the disease progressed. Also, the amount of time involved by multiple family members in the care of one Alzheimer's patient. The book was a sad but realistic depiction of love, dedication, and trials of this family. It would be a helpful book for anyone dealing with an Alzheimer's affected love one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews