Postav sa za seba

by Hailey Paige Magee, Lucia Richterová (Translator)

Ako sa odnaučiť chorobnej snahe každému vyhovieť tak, aby sme uchránili svoje psychické i fyzické zdravie a neprišli o vzťahy či kariéru?

Ako rozoznať úprimnú láskavosť od snahy všetkým sa zavďačiť?

Ako si stanoviť pevné hranice a nestratiť empatiu?

Kedy je vhodné ustúpiť od svojich potrieb a kedy to je už za čiarou?
A kde tá čiara vôbec je?

Úspešná koučka Hailey Magee prináša praktický návod, v ktorom láskavým a empatickým spôsobom ponúka odpovede na tieto a iné zásadné otázky, ktoré si na ceste za sebapoznaním často kladieme.

Z väčšiny motivačnej literatúry na nás vyskakujú heslá ako: Bráňte svoje záujmy! Nebojte sa ozvať! Stanovte si hranice! Lenže ako si obhájiť svoje potreby, keď ich vôbec nepoznáme? Keď sme po rokoch ich potláčania stratili kontakt so sebou?

Vďaka poznatkom zo psychológie a sociológie či praktickým cvičeniam konečne odkryjete svoje skutočné pocity, potreby či sny a odvážne sa obhájite vo vzťahoch s priateľmi, rodinou a s kolegami.

Napokon získate to, čo si skutočne zaslúžite: vnútornú slobodu, sebaistotu a vyrovnanosť.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Development, Mental Health, Relationships

376 pages, Hardcover

First published May 14, 2024

About the author

Hailey Magee helps success-seekers reconnect with real meaning, purpose, and vitality⁠—without work being their entire world. Her debut book Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power (2024, Simon & Schuster) has been translated into over 15 languages, and her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Gottman Institute, and Vox. Her work spans private coaching, group programs, and corporate partnerships, and she has facilitated workshops in conjunction with WeWork, Mindvalley, Women in Music, and more.

At the heart of Hailey’s work is the belief that reconnecting with meaning beyond success isn’t just a path to personal fulfillment: it’s a path to collective healing, too. In a world that increasingly drives us toward isolation and self-reliance, Hailey envisions a world where people find purpose in connection, community, and contribution to the collective good.

Hailey's Instagram

Hailey's Facebook

Hailey's LinkedIn

Reviews

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm cured now, so look out bitches. I'm not gonna please any of you!

[RxReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a game-changer for me. It felt like Hailey Magee was speaking right to my soul, addressing the people-pleasing tendencies that have been holding me back for so long. Her personal journey adds a relatable touch, making the advice feel genuine and actionable. What I loved most is how she doesn't just tell you to set boundaries and speak up; she guides you through reconnecting with yourself first, which is where real change starts. The mix of practical exercises and insightful questions helped me uncover layers I didn't even know were there. If you're tired of saying yes when you really want to say no, this book is a must-read.

I have to admit, at first, I was skeptical. Another self-help book claiming to have all the answers? But Stop People Pleasing surprised me. It's not just about saying no or setting boundaries; it's about understanding why we feel the need to please others in the first place. Magee dives deep into the psychology behind it all, offering empathy and understanding every step of the way. Her approach is refreshingly nuanced, acknowledging that it's not always easy to break free from these patterns. By the end, I felt empowered and ready to start advocating for myself in a way I never thought possible. Highly recommend for anyone ready to reclaim their power and live life on their own terms.

[Sophie Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

very nuanced very smart very helpful

[Adrian Dumitru · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recomand

[Fireplace.Bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

I DNFed this one at 72% for a few reasons. One being the “real life” stories became too much. I didn’t care what others did in what felt like the scripted situations I wanted the meat and potatoes of what I could do. Two, it began to feel super repetitive. I struggled with this one from the beginning and it took me exceptionally long to get through. I probably should have DNFed sooner but I so wanted it to be good.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nuanced and extremely practical. So much self-help advice these days is annoyingly black and white, but Hailey really teaches how we can stand up for ourselves without letting go of our empathy, compassion, and kindness. Every people-pleaser needs this book YESTERDAY.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

As much as I am not a fan of “life coaches” (I think it is a made up profession for people that want to be therapists without going through the hassle of getting a degree or licensed) I legit enjoyed this book. I liked the explanations within the chapters of what is to come later on. The author provided very realistic and logical examples of all the concepts that she presented. I appreciate the author speaking about the importance of recognizing our needs as imperative to wellbeing. Individuals that people please typically lose a significant sense of self. There was a part in here that said “we anticipate our need will not be met, so we don’t even ask” and ouch…..that statement hit home. People pleasing is such a common trait for individuals to have that leads to depression and anxiety.
I loved the breakdown on the boundary setting sections. I highly recommend this book if you would consider yourself a people pleaser.

Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an ARC for an honest review.

[Ugnė Lukošienė · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stipri knyga kas liečia ribas, kaip jas brėžti, pataikavimą kitiems ir kaip to atsikratyti.

[Sumit · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really brilliant, thoroughly researched, and approachable treatment of the "people pleasing" phenomenon - where it comes from, how it manifests both in childhood and adulthood, the pendulum between overpleasing/exhaustion and avoidance/introversion, and thoughts on how to notice and shift all of these behaviors. The book has a wonderful balance of intuitive explanation, findings from published studies/books, and stories, both fictionalized vignettes and personal stories from the author's own life.

I'd highly recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with people pleasing in any of their relationships. Even if you've read many books on the topic (which I had), I suspect you'll find some new insights in this wonderful volume.

Side note: my only complaint is the title - had I not found out about the book through other channels, I would have assumed from the title (especially the subtitle) that this would be just like the 100 other "rah-rah" motivational self-help books with armchair psychology tips, no references, etc. I've recommended the book to quite a few folks at this point, and several have balked at the title; I've had to convince them there's much more to the book than they might assume.

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

This helped me reflect on a lot of things I needed to examine in myself. It was a bit heavy on the self-help vibe than I usually like but honestly I found it so helpful that I'm really glad I read it.

[yorkis · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5*

[Dil · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will help you get to know more the little things about people pleasing, such as the ways we thought was not people pleasing but it actually was.

What I love about this book is it doesn’t force you to leave people behind when they violate your boundaries, but it allows you to process how you feel and assess the circumstances, such as in situations where one’s safety is at stake.

Recommend this self-help book if you want to understand more about yourself and your people-pleasing tendencies.

[Tiago · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed feelings about this book. It must not have helped that I read half of it and then two months later read the other half.

The book has some interesting insights, many of them along the lines of being more selfish, but not necessarily in a bad way, just in not always putting yourself last. That said, it’s still a somewhat egocentric view.

I guess this is an interesting book if you have trouble prioritizing your needs.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow oh wow I never thought stumbling into a bookstore on a Monday would lead me here but I’m glad it did. I had the honor of listening to Hailey speak at that same bookstore in Seattle the following day and am so happy to have now finished this book. It was everything I needed to hear and more right now. Anyone struggling with people pleasing or to self advocate will find something helpful in this book and I definitely found more than something. Her approach to grief and discernment was probably my biggest takeaway due to current circumstances. Thank you Hailey for sharing your story and doing it in such a nuanced way. I can’t wait to read this again in the future!

[Petruta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Puterea de a nu fi pe placul tuturor este un ghid empatic care ne încurajează să spargem tiparele, să impunem limite clare și să ne apărăm interesele. Dorința de a face celorlalți pe plac ne poate dăuna fizic și psihic.

Cartea se adresează acelor persoane cărora le este dificil să impună limite clare, acele persoane care nu se pun pe primul loc, care doresc să-i mulțumească în permanență pe ceilalți indiferent de consecințe.

Această carte m-a ajutat să înțeleg că este important să am grijă, în primul rând de mine, apoi de restul.

[Chrisdee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical and knowledgeable guide to breaking people pleasing patterns! Hailey has a very helpful Instagram account that I recommend often to others. Here in this book her thoughts are well written, consice and easy to follow. Tons of examples and great follow through from examples to applicable use! She does a great job of combining social science, psychology, and hands on coaching exercises in this book.

* I received this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review *

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been following Hailey Paige Magee on Instagram for awhile now and was so excited when I saw that she was writing a book!

If you're a people pleaser, buy this book NOW. It's so well written and organized with chapters on all different topics. I've been coming back to individual chapters as needed. I purchased the Audible version and the author did a great job narrating. STOP People Pleasing: And Find Your Power can be life changing, once it's put into action. It's been added to my list of self-development faves so I remember to come back to it.

[Audible: 11 hours, 1 minute]

[Página · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s me, hi! 👋🏻 I’m the problem, it’s me.

I liked this book & found it immensely helpful. One star is because it is the right read for me at the right time in my life (tbh probably should’ve read it sooner, but here we eventually are!). I’m heavily considering that maybe this book should have a long-term spot on my shelf…

In general, I don’t gel with self-help books, & engage their claims with an enormous dose of skepticism. I squint hard at self proclaimed life coaches. I even more especially toss this genre into the waste bin when it involves: “buy my course and then I’ll tell you the secret to instant success!” This book isn’t that.

As I haven’t done any research on the topic before, I learned *a lot* here. The author’s approach comes across as fair & inclusive to people, circumstances, & scope, and the author including her own journey made it feel more personable. I appreciated the author’s tone, & respected the balance of science & therapy & storytelling. I valued the author’s combination of explaining the impulse behind people-pleasing & offering practical & actionable practices. This book addresses the roots and not just the symptoms—it encourages & guides you through a reconnecting with your self & your values, which is the true source of healing these tendencies. Reading this makes me feel that I am finally understanding myself better, recognizing my stressors, & gives me hope for actually getting out of the slippery well the compulsion of people-pleasing is.

[Jenn McEvoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you, NetGalley for the opportunity to read this early release book. I’ve always struggled with being a people pleaser and I’m slowly learning to get away from those behaviors.

This book had a lot of great suggestions; tips, and stories.

Highly recommend this book to everyone! It was very good for a personal development book.

[Alexandria Zaobidny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hailey Magee is brilliant! This book is such an incredible resource. It is very thorough and has exercises you can try throughout each chapter. I especially loved her chapter on the importance of “play”!

[Jennifer Daniells · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like how Hailey talks about liminal spaces and how she deconstructs people pleasing for all. It’s important to understand why some folks people please due to systematic structures. I loved all the tools that she provides and I really like how she organized the book. It is a great read!

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book I needed to read this season.

As a small business owner and boss of a business with a mission, this walks through applicable nuances so well, even though it’s not at all a business book.

One million stars.

[Taylor Kundel-Gower · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am super picky about this genre and this book was *chef's kiss*. Concise and easy to understand, while simultaneously very nuanced. This book is so incredibly helpful and I will be recommending it to every living breathing person I come across.

[Sarah Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t give 5 stars lightly, but this one earned it! This has changed my life and the way I see myself. 100% worth the read!!

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This spoke directly to me. She covers so many aspects of this habit....no matter what level of people pleaser you are, she will cover something that you struggle with. Really really good book

[Charlotte Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful read around people pleasing. I struggle with this- and have gotten so many tips and tools around it!!!!! Thanks Hailey!!!

[Vivienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only complaint is that I couldn’t have read it 14 years ago! Outstanding book, very helpful.

[Neeyati · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*

[Darby Mara]

DNF

a book i think i will come back to when i am in a headspace to take action and do these exercises in their full. but currently i am not in a place to fully get out of this book what i need

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid advice, especially if you’re new to this space.