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384 pages, Hardcover
First published April 21, 2015
Gabe’s still got his palm on my knee. He squeezes a bit, then slides his hand farther over, fingertips picking at the seam on the inner thigh of my jeans.I would recommend this book if you're really into brother-brother love triangles, cheating, and repeatedly making the same mistakes. The only reason this book didn't receive a 1 from me is that it was well-written, the characters felt real, and I did have some serious sympathy for the main character initially. Halfway through, this all changed and I wanted to bash my head against the wall. You know the saying about learning from history? This never, ever happened in this book.
That’s when Patrick nudges his leg against mine. My breath comes fast and ragged all of a sudden, and I concentrate on slowing it down so nobody will hear.
The worst part is I can feel myself responding in other ways also, the low swoop of want in my stomach and the skin all over my body tightening up—and I don’t even know who I’m responding to. What is up with me, how messed up am I, that I think it might be both of them?
I think of the note on my windshield—dirty slut—and feel my skin prickle hotly, imagining everyone here somehow saw it, too, or wrote it or is thinking it even if they didn’t do either of those things. This is what it was like before I left. Julia once called my house phone and left a message, pretending to be from Planned Parenthood saying my STD test had come back positive.There is a definite sense of double standards here, because the other party in the affair, her boyfriend's big brother, doesn't get much negative attention at all.
“It feels unfair, though, right?” Gabe says. “I mean, if you’re a dirty slut, then I’m a dirty slut.”What bothers me about this is that, while Molly acknowledges she broke her childhood friend, her first love, her first boyfriend's heart...with his big brother, she never really truly feels bad about any of it.
“Patrick Donnelly?” she says, the affection palpable in her voice, the way you talk about your favorite song or movie or person. “Why, you know him?”Yes, she acknowledges that she broke his heart, but there is no real remorse. Her sadness is more due to the fact that she is hated by everyone more than anything dealing with the fact that she cheated. Once things go back to normal...once she begins to get back into her friend's good graces...she shows too clearly that cheaters will continue to cheat and a leopard can't change its stripes.
He was my best friend. He was my first love. I had sex with his big brother. I broke his fucking heart.
“You love me, and you care about me.” Patrick snorts. “Okay.”Molly continues to hurt people over and over and over again. She can't make up her mind.
“I do!” I protest, stung by the dismissal. “Why the hell else would I have done what I did with you all summer, huh? Why would I have risked hurting Gabe like that—?”
“I don’t know; why did you do it last time?” Patrick demands. “Because you like the attention. That’s what it is with you. You’re a poison, you want—”
And Gabe on her heels: “What’s going on?” he asks.This book was a mine of unexplored potential. It had such potential to be a fantastic book. I wanted to see more character development, the relationship between Molly and her mother, in particular. That could have been developed more than it did. Her mother is callous, not intentionally hurtful, but severely insensitive. I wanted to see more of them, and I didn't get much.
Patrick focuses his reply on his brother: “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend?” he suggests nastily. “And while you’re at it, why don’t you ask her what the fuck else she’s been doing, the whole time she’s been fucking you?”
“You’re my mom!” I counter, my voice cracking in a way that betrays all the nasty coldness I’ve spent the last year and a half cultivating, an ugly break in the shell. I shake my head, slam the coffeepot down on the counter hard enough I’m afraid it might shatter. “Or, like—you were supposed to be. You chose me, remember? That’s what you always said. But really you just wanted to sell me for parts.”What a waste of an interesting concept.
My mom blanches at that, or maybe I just want her to. “Molly—”






“I don’t know how I became this person, one of those girls with a lot of drama around her. A person whose romantic garbage literally fills an entire book.”
“We’ve finally destroyed each other, finally eaten each other alive. We’re never coming back from this.”
“I think of how he knows my ugly parts and likes me anyway, how he’s not perpetually disappointed by the person I turned out to be.”
“A lot of times it feels like I’m the only one still lost.”